Archive of Our Own

Chanyeol was probably the first among them to realize something was different.

He was seven years old. The average seven year old spent much of their time running around outside, kicking balls around, reading, and doing homework. And Chanyeol was very much the average seven year old. He had bruised knees that poked out from the worn, grass stained holes in his jeans. He had two books kept inside of his desk in his second grade classroom, books that he often found himself reading and paying more attention to than the average lecture. He did his homework on the bus ride home from school, in hopes that he’d have the whole afternoon free to play with his neighbors and laugh, until his parents called him home for dinner. And then, maybe, a little longer afterwards.

Chanyeol liked to laugh. He liked to make noise in general, really, whether it was high pitched screams or the sound of his hands banging on the dinner table while his parents asked him in tired voices to please stop, Chanyeol , that’s enough . But he thought that maybe laughter was one of his favorite noises.

The three boys on his street had very nice laughs.

Baekhyun had a loud, high pitched laugh. He laughed like he was going to suffocate under the sound, long and heavily, often much too heavy for the actual source of laughter. He held his hand over his heart and bent over to laugh. It was a carefree sound, and probably the easiest laugh for Chanyeol to gather.

Kyungsoo laughed silently, shown through his eyes and even more telling in the way that his hand would fly to cover his mouth and conceal his three missing teeth, the most missing by any one kid in their group, making him, naturally, the coolest among them. Chanyeol liked the way that Kyungsoo’s cheeks turned extra chubby and red when he laughed.

Jongdae had a deep laugh, one that seemed to wreck through his body until it escaped his mouth when he threw his head back and finally released the sound. It was warm and pleasant to hear, and loud too, a sound that escaped in short bursts of ha ha ha’s .

Chanyeol wasn’t sure he could describe his own laugh, but he knew that he definitely enjoyed the sound of his friends’. He liked his friends a lot. They’d known each other for as long as Chanyeol could remember, neighbors since they were babies, he thought. And that was forever ago , so it must have been a long time. He’d asked Baekhyun once, the oldest of them (Chanyeol thought- he couldn’t really remember) if he remembered when they’d first met. Baekhyun had insisted he remembered it vividly, and had recounted an elaborate story about them all falling from the sky onto the street below as alien babies, and being claimed by their families soon after.

Although it didn’t really answer Chanyeol’s question, nor was he sure he believed it, it was a funny story and Chanyeol liked it. His parents told him that Baekhyun had a career in storytelling, and while Chanyeol wasn’t completely certain what the word career meant, he thought he probably agreed with the sentiment.

Kyungsoo, meanwhile, had just rolled his eyes and told Baekhyun to stop being stupid.

It had happened seamlessly, the four of them growing up so closely together. They’d been in the same kindergarten class, and had become such nuisances to their teacher that he’d been forced to separate them into all four corners of the classroom, and that still hadn’t stopped them from talking. Chanyeol had a talent for projecting his voice, and he used it at every available opportunity. He suspected it was that teacher’s intervention that had separated them in first grade, placing Jongdae and Baekhyun into one class and him and Kyungsoo in another, but truly, none of them minded that much. They saw each other at recess, and in their open street after school. And the next year, althought Chanyeol now had class with Jongdae and Kuyngsoo with Baekhyun, the pattern hadn’t changed.

Chanyeol’s mother often expressed how pleased she was that Chanyeol had such nice friends, and truthfully, Chanyeol had to agree there. He liked his friends a lot. He felt overwhelmingly comfortable around all of them.

When Chanyeol was sick with a nasty case of the flu halfway through the school year, he’d complained loudly to both of his parents to please let him outside, he felt fine, even at a fever running over a hundred degrees. Just as he was attempting to figure out the best way to climb out the front window of the house without being caught, his mother walked into his room with a slight smile on her face, and handed him a slip of paper.

The paper, stained somewhat with dirt and grass, read,

Der Chanyeol,

We mis you. Come back soon. Kyungsoos famely are going to get a dog.

Sinsirly,

Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Kyungsoo

Chanyeol grinned, turned the paper around, and wrote straight back of them, asking his mother to drop the letter out onto the porch after each time. It was only nighttime, when the sun had fully set, that the messages stopped coming, and Chanyeol went to sleep with a fuller heart than before- even if he ended up throwing up some of that fullness in the middle of the night.

---

Kyungsoo’s dog was a mutt who drooled too much, named George. But Chanyeol and Jongdae thought that was a stupid name, and instead called him Drooly, for obvious reasons.

“He’s not that bad,” Baekhyun had pouted when he’d first heard the mean nickname, hugging a drooling Drooly tightly around the neck. But it was only a week’s time before Baekhyun joined them, and Chanyeol soon forgot that the dog had any other name.

Kyungsoo took Drooly on walks down the street and up the street behind them, too, where Chanyeol wasn’t allowed to go, but Jongdae and Baekhyun were. No matter how much he complained and cried and begged, claiming that he needed to be allowed to go that far if all of the others were allowed to, his parents were firm on the matter. Instead, Chanyeol accompanied them to the end of the street until they turned the corner, and then raced in the other direction to meet them when they came around again. That wasn’t so bad.

He still felt like he was missing out on something every time he saw them smiling and giggling when they reemerged. But he always seemed to forget all about it when Baekhyun would run up to him and hug him as if they hadn’t seen each other in years, rather than minutes. Forgot when Kyungsoo smiled at him, and Jongdae waved so excitedly at the sight of him.

Things then went on as normal.

Normal referred to many things. Normal referred to playing pretend (Chanyeol’s favorite was pretending to be superheroes, but the others had great ideas too- pirates, military men, idols, and police, to name a few). When they weren’t doing that, they were exploring the woods behind Jongdae’s house, woods that included a makeshift bridge of sticks suspended over a shallow river, which they’d managed to form earlier that year to get across in. A little further on was a small clearing, one of the only spots in the woods where the grass ever dried.

They spent a lot of time there, laughing and talking and playing tag and wrestling.

Jongdae and Baekhyun had been fighting each other earlier, but now they seemed tired out, lying in the grass at the center of the clearing while Kyungsoo and Chanyeol talked and giggled with each other, Kyungsoo snorting at Chanyeol’s nonsensical jokes and Chanyeol laughing at almost everything Kyungsoo said that was even vaguely humorous. It was, to Chanyeol, almost the definition of paradise. He could pretend he wasn’t even going to be heading home at the end. He could pretend that one spot and that one moment was eternity.

Even kid Chanyeol thought that he could spend all of eternity with just his friends, and be happy.

---

Chanyeol’s parents began fighting the summer before he entered third grade.

He didn’t recognize it for what it was, at first. They’d always had those hushed conversations, they’d always had arguments that ended in slammed doors. Although frightening, they weren’t things that he found out of the ordinary. The increasing frequency of them, however, and the icy atmosphere that seemed to be falling over the house- that, he thought was abnormal.

As to what was actually going on, he couldn’t seem to pinpoint. He made an extra amount of effort to circle through the house, to hug his parents more- to remind them both that he was there, and he wanted them to be happy. But his actions were mostly met with passing brushes of his hair, or light pats on the back. It was obvious he wasn’t central on their minds.

He was two months into the school year when his parents really hashed it out.

About what, he couldn’t remember. He just remembered sitting in bed, blanket pulled up over his ears, staring fearfully at the door and listening. The raised voices, the anger, all of it, was far too much for him. It went on for so long, before he finally slid out of bed and climbed out his bedroom window as quietly as he could manage.

It was cold out, the grass damp beneath his bare toes, and his blanket fighting to stay on his shoulders in the autumn winds, But his destination wasn’t far- he walked quickly, sniffling at his tears that seemed threatening to spill out of his eyes.

Baekhyun’s house was the closest. It was only a few doors down, and he knew where Baekhyun’s room was, even from the outside. He fastened his blanket closer and more securely over his shoulders (superheroes don’t cry, he thought to himself as his makeshift cape flapped in the breeze), and then knocked lightly against Baekhyun’s bedroom window.

Baekhyun was there in an instant- eyes wide with fright, an expression that faded into excitement the moment he registered his friend before him. “Chanyeol?” he asked, sliding his window up slowly, just enough that he could lean his torso out of it. “What? It’s dark out.”

It was dark out. It was past Chanyeol’s bedtime by at least an hour, and on a school night, at that. He didn’t hesitate, though. “Come to the woods with me,” he urged, toes curling in the cold grass below.

To his credit, Baekhyun didn’t hesitate either. “Okay.”

Chanyeol helped Baekhyun climb out the window, reaching out his arms and steadying him, so he didn’t tumble to the ground below. He smiled brightly in thanks, a sight that lifted Chanyeol’s mood instantly, and then they were walking.

Baekhyun held his hand and led the way, as though sensing the quietness in Chanyeol’s demeanor as something that needed delicate handling. Chanyeol wasn’t a hundred percent certain that that was the case, but it was appreciated anyway. Even if Baekhyun’s hand was a bit too clammy and sweaty for comfort, he didn’t let go.

That night, they lay in the clearing next to each other, looking at the sky (too light polluted to see many stars, but they pretended anyway) and giggling together. Chanyeol’s heart lifted, even as it grew later and later, and both of them were yawning before long.

“I don’t want to go home,” Chanyeol said quietly, turned and pressed against Baekhyun’s side to keep them both warm. Baekhyun nodded slowly. Chanyeol could almost see the gears turning in his head.

“You can have a sleepover with me,” Baekhyun said, eyes bright. Chanyeol grinned, and accepted the offer.

Although they were rudely woken up before the sun had even rose by two worried sets of parents, who stumbled into Baekhyun’s room in search of Chanyeol and found the pair sleeping together in Baekhyun’s small bed, Chanyeol wasn’t sure he minded much. His parents grounded him for the week, sentencing him to a week stuck inside his house and watching his friends play outside. But his parents also were more attentive of him than they’d been in months. So, as far as Chanyeol was concerned, he’d gotten his wish.

---

Drooly was an escape artist, or at least, that was what Kyungsoo’s mother said every time that the neighborhood found themselves playing Find the Mutt .

Often, it was Kyungsoo’s parents, Kyungsoo, Jongdae, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol. Drooly escaped the Do family’s backyard so often that at the sound of barks that were just a little too close, Chanyeol began to find himself getting up and leaving the house to join the hunt.

It usually wasn’t so bad. Typically, Drooly didn’t get farther than the ends of the street before someone managed to catch him. Other times, Drooly would make his way to the next street- or, once or twice, the one after that. Chanyeol wasn’t allowed to follow them then, and would instead watch the street closely for any sign of Drooly making his way back.

This was one of those times. He sat on Kyungsoo’s porch, as it was the most central in the street of any of their houses, with Jongdae at his side. Jongdae didn’t like catching Drooly, he had admitted a few times. He thought that the dog should be free to go if it wanted to, and he also didn’t have the strength in him to chase the dog down and catch its collar.

Baekhyun called him lazy. Jongdae would roll his eyes and smack his arm.

“If it’s dug under the fence so much, it should be free to go.”

“But he’s Kyungsoo’s dog,” Chanyeol insisted, unsure how Jongdae could think that way, “He could get hurt if he goes too far.”

“That’s what my mom says,” Jongdae admitted, leaning back against the front door and examining the side of the street that had been delegated to his watch. “But if that’s what it wants, that should be okay.”

“That’s weird,” Chanyeol said, turning away and searching down his side of the street, too. “Drooly’s a dog. He doesn’t know what he wants-”

“There!” Jongdae announced, jumping to his feet and pointing, Chanyeol following suit. At first, Chanyeol saw nothing at the end of Jongdae’s finger- but then, the bush in one of the elderly neighbor’s yards shook, and Drooly’s face peeked around it. He had slobber hanging freely from his mouth and seemed to be having the time of his life peacefully exploring.

Chanyeol jumped off the porch and ran in his direction, yelling for the others to come back.

Drooly jumped up and sat for only a second before giving a playful bark, and running in the opposite direction.

“We’re not-!” Chanyeol started to protest, but quickly gave up, seeing as the dog wouldn’t understand his plea anyway.

He chased Drooly down the street with Jongdae on his heels, the sound of his breathing and the slap of his feet against pavement mixed with calls of, “Drooly! George! Kyungsoo~!” that the dog paid no mind to, instead swerving along the street and into the yards of neighbor’s that Chanyeol huffed quick apologies to, while the three of them trampled the grass.

Drooly’s barks faded into a more distant sound with no apparent source around the time that Chanyeol and Jongdae stopped, unable to run farther. They stood next to each other and gulped down air, Chanyeol frustrated and still looking around, while Jongdae just seemed relieved to stop.

“Kyungsoo will get him,” Jongdae assured, squeezing Chanyeol’s sweaty upper arm with his sweaty fingers.

And Kyungsoo did, returning home with Drooly less than twenty minutes later, the dog seemingly no worse for wear while his pursuers wore unamused, tired expressions. Well, except one.

“I caught him,” Baekhyun said proudly, puffing out his chest like it was some astounding achievement. Kyungsoo snickered, propping his elbow against Baekhyun’s shoulder.

“He fell, and Drooly came to see if he was okay,” Kyungsoo elaborated. Both Jongdae and Chanyeol laughed, while Baekhyun pouted and insisted that the method didn’t matter, it was only the act itself. They gave the win to him in the end, and then left to play cops and robbers in Baekhyun’s backyard.

---

Chanyeol was in fifth grade when the divorce was finalized.

He alternated between sleeping at Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, and Jongdae’s houses for almost a week, until he felt like he could return home again. His parents were extremely understanding, and Chanyeol was thankful for it. It had, if he was honest, been a long time coming. But that didn’t change the fact that he didn’t want it to come at all.

His dad was the one who moved out of the house, and he moved across town- not far, but to Chanyeol, who had all his friends at his mother’s house, it felt like light years away.

“There will be new kids here to play with, too,” his father had insisted, patting his hand against Chanyeol’s shoulder. “You’re a good kid, you’ll make friends fast here, I promise.”

And his father was right. There were new kids to meet, one of whom Chanyeol already knew from his school. But it was so incredibly different from his home street. None of them were as hyperactive as Baekhyun, or loud as Jongdae, or fun to tease as Kyungsoo.

He only spent weekends and a few days sprinkled here and there at his father’s place, however.

Most of the time, he was allowed to stay at his mother’s house and hang out with his friends, though he noticed that she seemed a little more reluctant to let him sleep over at their houses. He was allowed too most of the time, though, and that was fine with him when he spent most of the days with them, anyway. Especially since Jongdae had gotten a Wii, and Baekhyun had gotten an X-Box for Christmas the year before.

“I’m going to destroy you guys in Mario Kart,” Baekhyun had vowed, and had subsequently came in fourth place in nearly every race that they played together. Although, Chanyeol with his third place average wasn’t one to talk. It was Jongdae, who seemed to be a natural (or, maybe, just got more practice, as the owner of the game), that tended to tease him the most.

The summer before entry into middle school was comfortable. They spent almost every day together, minus when Chanyeol was at his father’s place, or when one of them were sick. And even then, at least two of them were together. They were inseparable, as always.

The day the schedules for middle school arrived in their mailboxes, they met together at Kyungsoo’s house and compared.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol were delighted to find that they had the exact same schedule, due to the fact that they had both elected to take orchestra over other electives, And even with that, they all still had at least one class with each other.

It was Kyungsoo who seemed to really get the short straw- he had science with Jongdae and Chanyeol, and history with Baekhyun, but the rest of his classes didn’t line up with the others, He sat back in his seat, staring at his schedule like it upset him.

“It’ll be fine,” Baekhyun assured, leaning lightly into Kyungsoo in effort to cheer him up. “We can still sit with you at lunch, and we’ll tell you everything that you’ve missed.”

Kyungsoo smiled at the assurance, seeming much less put out than before. Besides, it wasn’t like it was any worse than being in separate classes in elementary school. At least he had at least one class with each of them, now.

The second to last day of summer, they all slept together at Chanyeol’s house and stayed up late, past midnight, talking and teasing and playing video games. At the end of it, they settled on his couch and on the floor of his living room, settling down for the night. Chanyeol felt drowsy, he felt his eyelids trying to shut, growing heavier and heavier with each beat of silence between them. He felt Jongdae, sleeping on the opposite end of the couch as him, snoring, a sound that vibrated gently against the couch.

And still, he heard Baekhyun’s words rise through the fog growing in his head. “Do you think that we’ll be friends until we’re adults?”

And Kyungsoo’s quick, quiet reply, “You better stay friends with me even when we’re adults.”

Chanyeol found himself smiling as he fell asleep, a warm feeling settling over him.

---

Middle school was strange.

Baekhyun and Jongdae adjusted to the change easily, quickly becoming accustomed to walking between classes and dealing with multiple teachers, even while Chanyeol and Kyungsoo found themselves struggling. Kyungsoo, especially, found himself struggling the most, without the presence of a friend in every one of his classes. He had acquaintances, people he could ask questions to, but the actual comforting presence of someone he enjoyed was lacking in those classes.

His parents sat him down after the first report card at the dinner table, them on one side and him on the other.

“You’ve always done so well,” said his mother, in a tone that was disappointed moreso than it was concerned. “Work harder in the future.”

And Kyungsoo did. He found himself reading every page of the textbooks he was provided. He went over his notes every night. It was the retention that he was struggling with. As soon as he went to sleep, a large chunk of what he studied managed to fall straight from his memory.

Winter break came around, and he gave up.

Come winter break, the four of them resumed their usual routine of spending the majority of their time together, alternating spending the night at Baekhyun and Jongdae’s, and once or twice Chanyeol and Kyungsoo’s places. Kyungsoo liked Jongdae’s house the best. Jongdae’s bedroom had a television and game console in it, and the four of them could fit within comfortably, in the farthest room in the house from the family room.

It was at Jongdae’s house that Baekhyun first let slip that all wasn’t well with him, either.

Chanyeol and Jongdae were sitting in front of the tv, creating clicking sounds from their controllers and (mostly) good-natured jabs at each other while their characters fought on screen. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun sat against the bed behind them, watching. Kyungsoo was laughing and adding a few jabs of his own as his friends competed nothing uncharacteristic. But Baekhyun was thoughtfully quiet. He barely acknowledged the other three, seeming to prefer staring at the wall or at his hands in his lap. Kyungsoo has noticed this almost immediately, but had said nothing. The others respected him when he was bothered with something, and he thought that it only made sense to treat Baekhyun similarly.

By the end of the third match, during which Jongdae had yet again come out on top, it seemed he wasn’t the only one to notice.

“Are you okay?” asked Jongdae, pausing from scrolling through the character selection menu. Baekhyun blinked at him, seemingly confused at Jongdae’s concern.

“What? I’m fine.”

Chanyeol’s brow furrowed as he, too, turned away from the screen and lowered his controller to his lap. “No, wait. Jongdae’s right, you haven’t said anything. Are you sure?”

Baekhyun’s expression morphed a few times, flashing a few emotions that Kyungsoo’s brain was unable to identify, before settling into something stony. They all knew that look- an irritated Baekhyun was the least fun Baekhyun. “I said I’m fine.”

They all carefully avoided looking at him, an unpleasantly heavy atmosphere settling over them similarly to the suddenness of Baekhyun’s mood change. And then Chanyeol and Jongdae returned to their game. They eventually returned to the same volume and enthusiasm as before, but Kyungsoo found himself unable to stop watching Baekhyun. Baekhyun, who had slumped down next to Kyungsoo, who was now scowling at some unknown speck of dust on the ceiling.

After a few minutes, Kyungsoo nudged his knee lightly against Baekhyun. A motion of affection, of assurance- of what, Kyungsoo wasn’t sure himself.. A beat of pause, and then Baekhyun returned the motion, much lazier than Kyungsoo’s. But it was enough to make them both relax, to take some of the hardness leak from Baekhyun’s muscles and expression.

“Knock him on his ass, Chanyeol!” Baekhyun crowed, probably too loud with parents home. But Chanyeol grinned and did exactly as asked, causing Jongdae to erupt into a louder, much more irritated flurry of curses of his own.

Although they let the incident go, Kyungsoo didn’t let it out of his mind. He found himself keeping an eye on Baekhyun, wondering if he could catch any signs of the strangeness returning. After a few weeks more passed and he saw nothing, he paid less attention. He figured that they should trust Baekhyun to speak with them about anything bothering him. He’d never had any issues about letting his complaints be (loudly) known to them, and Kyungsoo could see no reason that this should be different.

Spring came, and with it brought tragedy in the form of Drooly, escaping the backyard fence and being run over with a car. Kyungsoo hadn’t seen the body, nor had his three friends, on account of his mother ushering them away at the first sight of it- but it didn’t matter. Kyungsoo still cried. Chanyeol cried, too, maybe even harder than Kyungsoo. Jongdae kicked a pillow across the room with an amount of frustration Kyungsoo didn’t think he’d ever seen before. And Baekhyun was quiet. Kyungsoo was truly beginning to hate Baekhyun being quiet. It was something that just didn’t make sense, like dry water, or hot snow. Two terms that didn’t match, but were inexplicably happening more and more before his eyes.

Kyungsoo’s parents asked Kyungsoo if he’d want to get another dog. Kyungsoo has answered very quickly with a simple, “No.”

Life went on. The four of them ate together every day at lunch still, still walked between classes together and made fun of teachers loudly, still saw each other after school (though, with a decreasing regularity- middle school homework was different than elementary school homework, as they’d all been very quick to understand). Summer came soon after, with a freedom and easiness that hadn’t been quite matched by summer vacation in elementary school. Baekhyun’s mood improved exponentially, to a degree that made Kyungsoo stunningly aware of just how down he’d actually been during the school year. He liked to see Baekhyun smile freer. And by the way that Chanyeol and Jongdae reacted, it seemed that they weren’t going to question it, either.

The weather grew colder, and school began once more. This year, Kyungsoo was thrilled to learn the four of them had a good amount of classes together, enabling them to walk between classes and sit together more often. The lifting of his spirits brought his grades up above the “worrisome” levels they’d been hovering around for the year prior, a fact that made both him and his parents much happier.

Kyungsoo had left his math class with Jongdae at his side, both of them leaving a minute or two later than they normally would on account of a test running over into passing time. But they were in otherwise good spirits, with Jongdae complaining about how was he supposed to know that a hexagon was five-hundred and eighty degrees, and for what reason would he even possibly need to to know that. Kyungsoo was just about to respond with a quip about Jongdae’s habit of doodling rather than taking notes, when they caught sight of Baekhyun down the hall.

Baekhyun, standing between two older boys that Kyungsoo didn’t recognize, and being roughly pushed back and forth. It was done in a manner that one could interpret it as friendly, if they didn’t notice the way that Baekhyun held his limbs in close, and wasn’t making an expression that came even close to smiling.

Kyungsoo turned to face Jongdae, alarmed, only to find that the friend in question was already pushing his way through the crowd. Kyungsoo hurried after him, following the path he left in the dwindling hallway population. Class was meant to start soon.

Baekhyun’s eyes widened at the sight of them. Kyungsoo faked a smile.

“Hey!” Jongdae greeted, throwing his arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders and not-at-all subtly steering him away from the two older students, both of whom stared after Jongdae with irritated expressions- as though they thought they had some kind of right to Baekhyun. Kyungsoo wanted to punch them in the stomachs. “Where are you headed to?”

Baekhyun was quiet a moment, watching Jongdae with careful eyes. He answered, although all three of them knew the response. “Science.”

“Oh, we’re headed that way!” said Jongdae, in that same just barely too loud voice, even though they were not, in fact, headed that way. “We’ll walk you there, right Kyungsoo?”

“Right,” Kyungsoo confirmed, knocking his elbow lightly against Baekhyun’s arm. They walked off, leaving the other two boys to do whatever it was they were actually supposed to be doing. Like not pushing Baekhyun around.

They’d almost reached the classroom before Baekhyun spoke up, voice cracking. “Guys-“

“It’s fine,” said Jongdae, clapping a hand against Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Do they mess with you often?”

Baekhyun winced. They pulled up next to the classroom door, and although the bell for that hour had already rang, neither made a move to go to class. Baekhyun, as it was, was shifting in a self conscious way that Kyungsoo has come to associate with Baekhyun hiding something. He considered himself an expert in reading the other three, and believed this to be no exception to that.

“... Sometimes,” Baekhyun admitted at last, shoulders sagging just slightly. “I have it under control.”

Kyungsoo and Jongdae exchanged looks, keeping quiet. Then, Jongdae sighed, backing off. “... Okay. Fine. But if you need us-“

“Please,” Baekhyun snorted, a little bit of his spark coming back. “You think I can’t kick a guy’s ass if I was really being bullied?”

“I think I’d love to see you try,” Kyungsoo said dully, the corner of his lip twitching upwards, a motion and words that made Baekhyun and Jongdae both laugh.

After arriving to their history class late (“My locker got stuck and Kyungsoo was helping me, sorry!”), Chanyeol leaned over his desk and tapped Jongdae’s back.

“What really happened?” he asked, and Jongdae, after making sure that nobody seemed to be interested in their conversation, told him. When he finished, Chanyeol’s fists were clenched in irritation.

“Do you think this is what’s been getting to him?” Chanyeol asked quietly. Jongdae shrugged, not wanting to think about that at the moment.

“Don’t make me separate you two again!”

“Sorry, teacher.”

If Baekhyun happened to go to the doctor’s with a sprained wrist just before Christmas that year, and then Jongdae happened to get a suspension and bruised knuckles the next day- those events didn’t necessarily have to be related.

Worth it , Jongdae assured the other three via text message, two days into his month’s worth of grounding time.

—-

In seemingly no time at all, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Jongdae, and Baekhyun found themselves entering high school.

The transition went much smoother than any of them had anticipated. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol ended up joining the marching band, and therefore at the end of summer it was mostly just Jongdae and Baekhyun hanging out. It wasn’t bad, though, because at the end of the summer and the start of the first game, the two of them were there in the stands, cheering loudly amidst the chatter of those disinterested in the halftime show. Chanyeol’s slowly lengthening form was almost dwarfed by the bass drum on his chest, and Kyungsoo’s trumpet tended to sag to a lower level than it was meant to, but Baekhyun and Jongdae didn’t care.

(Although, “not caring” didn’t mean that they didn’t tease the other two for both of these things, and more. They had an important dynamic to uphold).

Baekhyun and Jongdae instead took up stage crew along with Chanyeol, with set designs and a tendency to collect splinters in the pads of their fingers. It become infinitely more fun when Kyungsoo made it through the auditions and landed himself a minor role in the second act of the fall play.

“Upperclassmen get all the good parts,” Kyungsoo had complained in a short lapse of his general unbothered state of being. Chanyeol had ruffled his hair and assured him he’d get the lead role next time.

With Baekhyun and Jongdae in choir on top of this, the four found themselves unprecedentedly busy, and with unmatched stress on top of that. So, it should probably have come as no surprise to them when Chanyeol and Baekhyun had The Fight.

As with all great fights, no one actually remembered how it started. Jongdae thought it had something to do with a sloppy set design, although both of the denied that. What they did know was that by the end of it, Chanyeol was crying and Baekhyun was yelling names and curse words at him in the middle of a crowded hallway, the evening before opening night. Jongdae escorted Chanyeol to the bathroom the moment things between them quieted down and Kyungsoo had sat with Baekhyun in an effort to calm him down. Despite their attempts, neither of the two spoke to each other during any of the three nights the play aired, nor in the two weeks following.

Although it started off stiflingly awkward, by the end of those two weeks, Jongdae and Kyungsoo were far more pissed off than anything.

“I just wish I could get them to pull their heads out of their asses and talk to each other,” Jongdae bemoaned to Kyungsoo in the middle of foods class. Kyungsoo was quiet, washing up the bowls as they finished.

“I know,” he said after a second, setting down their clean utensils on the counter just in time to hear the bell ring. “But what can we do, besides lock them in a room together?” catching the look in Jongdae’s eye as he pulled his backpack on, he pointed at him harshly. “No. We’re not doing that.”

“But that’s a great idea,” Jongdae insisted, following Kyungsoo through the maze of tables in the room, and then out the door into the loud, busy hallway. “Think about it. Baekhyun never shuts up, there’s no way he wouldn’t be able to confront Chanyeol when trapped together-“

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, shoulder aching when an upperclassmen jostled it while she moved passed. He shifted closer to the wall of the hallway. “This isn’t- we can’t just lock them up together -“

“Give me one good reason,” Jongdae said seriously, staring at Kyungsoo and consequently bumping into multiple older students, many of whom muttered the word “ Freshmen ,” in irritation. Kyungsoo, in the meantime, just stared back at Jongdae.

He sighed, turning the corner from one hall to another and looking away, so he didn’t have to see the shit eating grin form on Jongdae’s face.

—

“It feels like it’s been forever since we hung out last,” Chanyeol said to Kyungsoo, as he was admitted into Kyungsoo’s house after the next school day. Kyungsoo was nodding and listening, as he had been for the whole bus ride home. “I figured you would still be upset with me, after the whole Baekhyun thing-“

“It’s fine,” Kyungsoo interrupted, pushing Chanyeol lightly so that he’d make his way towards Kyungsoo’s bedroom a bit faster. He wished they were hosting this event at Jongdae’s place, but Jongdae’s dad was recently unemployed, and home often. Which meant that Kyungsoo was the one who had to pull his valuables and breakables from his room the night before, and give it up for the sake of their friendship. “Jongdae should be here soon, I’ll go grab snacks and stuff. Want anything?”

“Get me a soda,” Chanyeol said, beaming and unassuming to Kyungsoo. He set down the hall, towards Kyungsoo’s bedroom.

Not long after, as Kyungsoo was stalling in the kitchen, Jongdae and Baekhyun came in the front door of his house.

Baekhyun has taken to wearing his hair with a ridiculously long sidebang, one that fell in his face and he repeatedly tried to convince them he didn’t see as an obstruction. Now, he shook his head as he entered the house, though the motion did little to clear the hair.

“- and so Tao tries to tell me, even though I can see him chewing, he says ‘ Oh no Baekhyun, nobody gave me a chocolate cookie ’,” Baekhyun was telling Jongdae, loudly imitating whoever Tao was in an exaggerated falsetto. “Of course, apparently foods class made them today and, since I’m not in foods, I figured my favorite best friends who are would be able to give me some-“ At this, he sent a pointed look to Kyungsoo, who missed it due to his nervous glance towards his bedroom. There was no way Chanyeol hadn’t heard Baekhyun’s voice yet. Then again, he did tend to listen to music with his headphones at a painfully loud volume, so who knew.

“I have cookies,” Kyungsoo said after a bit of silence, biting the corner of his cheek to keep from smiling when Baekhyun’s eyes widened. “You guys can head up to my room, and I’ll meet you there?”

“Sounds good!” Jongdae said, walking ahead before Baekhyun could get another word out. Baekhyun offered Kyungsoo a smile of greeting, and then followed behind Jongdae’s back.

Kyungsoo stared at the counter and waited. And waited. Time seemed to stretch out far too long, his mind tending in anticipation.

An annoyed voice that sounded like Chanyeol’s, and then the sound of a door slamming shut.

This is a stupid idea , Kyungsoo thought to himself and shook his head, but still looked up as Jongdae reappeared. He was wearing a strangely awed smile.

“Did you know pushing a chair under a door handle doesn’t just work in movies?” he asked, voice somewhere between impressed and surprised. Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow, and then peered down the hallway.

Sure enough, no matter how much someone on the other side of the door jiggled the knob, the chair refused to budge more than an inch. Vaguely impressed himself, he straightened back up and shrugged towards Jongdae.

“So? What happened?”

Jongdae glanced back towards the chair and the door, and then again to Kyungsoo. “Oh. I pushed Baekhyun in the room. Chanyeol called me a fuck. Baekhyun tried to push the door open, but I used the chair and now they’re stuck to do nothing but talk through their problems.”

Kyungsoo nodded slowly. “Now we wait,” he commented, watching as Jongdae grabbed chips from the counter and a drink from the fridge.

“Yup!” he said, seemingly unbothered by the shaky ethics surrounding how they were treating their friends. “Sailor Moon?”

Kyungsoo snorted, but nodded. “Sure. Sailor Moon.”

If Kyungsoo was honest, as much as he liked quiet time with Jongdae (and he really did. Him and Jongdae fit well on account of Jongdae being easily entertained and Kyungsoo not being the most entertaining), he thought that he might like quiet time interrupted by the loudness that was Baekhyun and Chanyeol just a little more. He kept finding his ears straining down the hall rather than paying attention to the show on his television, searching for the barest hint of voices or words- but it was too far away. He couldn’t even hear if the door was still being jostled.

Halfway through the second episode, he paused the TV, ignoring the indignant spluttering sounds emitting from his partner in crime. No other voices. He frowned, pushing himself to his feet and nodding for Jongdae to follow him.

Thankfully, Jongdae seemed to understand and didn’t protest.

When Kyungsoo moved the chair jamming the door shut and opened the door, he found Chanyeol and Baekhyun crying and hugging each other tightly on his bed, looking like they’d been there for quite some time. He exchanged a wide eyed look with Jongdae, who just smiled while the other two opened their eyes and stared at them.

“We’re pissed at you,” said Baekhyun, making no effort to move or put irritation in his voice.

“Yeah,” said Chanyeol, sniffling lightly. “Really really pissed.”

“You’re welcome,” said Jongdae, smiling a little wider. Chanyeol shot him the finger, and Kyungsoo laughed, relief flowing into his chest where pressure and tension had been for the last few weeks.

—-

Kyungsoo could vaguely remember his parents speaking to him at the very beginning of the school year, before he’d truly become immersed in life in high school. At the time, he’d rolled his eyes internally and pretended to listen, while actually thinking along other topics (like the average teenager having serious talks with his parents, he had no interest in actually taking the words to heart). It had been in the car, on the way to go out to eat for the night with his parents speaking from the front of the vehicle.

“Seungsoo, tell him,” his mother said, turning around in her seat to face her sons. Seungsoo, who was busily tapping away on his phone with earbuds placed in his ears, took a moment to realize she was even speaking to him. He paused his music and frowned.

“What?”

A light twitch of fond annoyance in his mother’s face, and then she shook her head twice. She repeated herself. “Tell Kyungsoo about high school parties being different than middle school parties.”

Seungsoo appeared confused, furrowing his brow. It was a familiar expression to Kyungsoo, in part due to the fact that the whole family shared it when they were struck with a lack of comprehension. Seungsoo, two years older than Kyungsoo and entering his last semester of junior year, was still the same degree of awkward that he’d always been. “I don’t know what you mean. You mean that there’s girls and guys at them?”

Kyungsoo’s mother closed her eyes, steeling herself. It was his father, however, who jumped in. “ Jagi , you know that Seungsoo is a good kid. Kyungsoo is, too.”

“I don’t doubt that,” she insisted, speaking as though both her sons weren’t listening in. She sighed, turning back to them. “I mean the larger tendency of… inappropriate activities.”

Seungsoo blanched. “Mom-”

“I wasn’t born yesterday,” she interrupted, cutting Seungsoo off with a harsh look. Kyungsoo didn’t bother to point out that that, maybe, was the problem. She’d been out of high school for over two decades. “When I was in school, I went to my fair share of loud high school parties.”

“Me too,” cut in Kyungsoo’s father. Kyungsoo’s mother nodded, acknowledging his contribution.

“I know very well what goes on at parties like that,” she said, her gaze pinning down both Seungsoo and Kyungsoo, who very much felt like he was being scolded. For what, he wasn’t entirely sure. It wasn’t like he was a distinctly popular kid- he really wasn’t the sort to get invited to parties of any calibre, besides birthday parties. But still, he held his tongue. “I gave this talk to Seungsoo when he entered high school, too. When you go to parties, I expect you to tell me where you’re going, who with, and if the parents are going to be home. And if there’s alcohol or other inappropriate activity going on, I expect you to contact me or your father, so that we can come pick you up.”

“I understand,” Kyungsoo had said at the time, to devolve the conversation and free himself from that harsh stare.

Now, though. Now, he was finding himself nervous, because he was staring down a text from Baekhyun to himself, Chanyeol, and Jongdae. A text about some junior whose parents were supposed to be out of town for the week, and so was planning to have an actual, wild high school party. And Kyungsoo had really thought those things only happened in the movies.

He called Baekhyun, making sure the door to his room was shut, and sat at his homework desk. The third ring had barely finished when the other end of the line was picked up.

“So, you’re coming?” Baekhyun asked, a knowing hint to his tone that made Kyungsoo snort.

“How did you even manage to get invited to this?” Kyungsoo questioned, leaning back in his desk chair and idly twirling a pencil in his free hand. Baekhyun paused, and Kyungsoo could almost picture him sitting with his legs crossed on top of his bed, a dumb smile on his face. Something in Kyungsoo wanted to smile, too.

Baekhyun hummed. “I know a girl who knows a girl who knows a guy. Anyway, it’s open invite. Pretty much anyone’s free to stop by as long as they bring something with them.”

“Do you think napkins would cover it?” Kyungsoo asked drily, eliciting an amused sound from Baekhyun. He dragged a hand through his hair, effectively eliminating whatever part in it that was struggling to survive. Was he really planning on doing this? He shook his head. Of course he was.

“I bet you’d be the sole dealer,” Baekhyun said in a smiliar tone. “Chanyeol says he can come. Jongdae hasn’t replied yet. But Baekbeom said he can drive us, so. Basically, we’re all set.” A beat of silence, and then, “Hey, if Baekbeom’s going, do you think Seungsoo is?”

Kyungsoo shrugged, although Baekhyun couldn’t see him. “I don’t know. I can ask, but he might tattle on me. He’s been an asshole lately. On Monday, he got pissed at me for no reason.”

“Moody teenagers.” Baekhyun sighed, but there was sympathy there. “Baekbeom’s still cool, though. He actually brought up the whole thing to me, on the drive home from school.” Another pause. “Sorry, did that sound unsympathetic? Fuck.”

“Baekhyun!” a voice scolded in the background, and Baekhyun rushed a quick “Sorry!” that was fuzzy through the telephone.

Kyungsoo laughed, ever amused by Baekhyun’s growing potty-mouth. “It’s fine. I like Baekbeom.” His phone buzzed in his hand and he withdrew it from his ear, reading the text as it came in. “Jongdae is in.”

“I saw,” Baekhyun assured, the grin returned and loud in his voice. “So, anyway. My house at six on Friday? The Byun-Express departs at six-ten sharp. Don’t be late.”

“I have to ask my parents,” Kyungsoo said, tapping his fingers against his desk thoughtfully. “But, if you guys and Baekbeom are going to be there, and I tell them there will be an adult around, I’m sure I can find away.”

“You wouldn’t be lying,” Baekhyun chirped. “There will definitely be adults around. Some of the seniors are eighteen.”

Kyungsoo snorted again, shaking his head lightly. “Yeah, because I’m sure that’s exactly what they meant.” He heard footsteps down the hallway, and subconsciously straightened up. “I’ll ask-”

The door of his bedroom was pulled open, unveiling his father, who had an oven mit over one hand and a dish towel held in the other. “Food’s ready,” he said in lieu of greeting, his eyes glancing to where Kyungsoo held his phone against his ear. “Who are you talking to?”

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo answered, pulling his phone away and putting it on speaker. “Baekhyun, say hi.”

“Hi!” Baekhyun greeted enthusiastically. Kyungsoo’s dad laughed and returned the greeting. All of their parents were fond of Baekhyun.

“Anyway,” Kyungsoo interjected, taking Baekhyun off speaker-phone. “Baekhyun and Baekbeom were going to go to a party on Friday, and they offered to take me with. Can I go?”

Kyungsoo’s dad looked somewhat surprised, but by no means suspicious. “Whose party?”

“A marching band senior,” Kyungsoo said, the lie easily slipping off his tongue. “He’s in theatre and a bunch of other stuff, so I guess he knows everyone. Lots of food, video games, board games, other stuff too.” By this time, all of the parties he’d been to had been hosted by older marching band kids. The parties were usually just after games, and very short. He’d yet to be to a true party yet, so he figured telling his parents that it was a kid involved in something familiar would increase his odds.

But his father just shrugged, seemingly unworried. “Well, as long as Baekbeom can take you home, I don’t have a problem with it. Just be home by midnight.” Kyungsoo said thank you, trying to keep his smile from being too wide, and his dad left his room.

“Smooth,” Baekhyun said, for once with no hint of sarcasm.

“Thanks,” said Kyungsoo, unsure how he should be feeling about being complimented on his ability to lie to his parents. Regardless of how he should feel, he found himself fighting down a giddy grin.

---

Baekbeom was also a junior. Him and Seungsoo were tentative friends, and had been ever since the Byun family had moved in down the street, when Baekhyun was two years old. It was less like they actually enjoyed or sought each other’s presence, and more like they had an obligation, or the connection that only came with playing with each other as children. Kyungsoo knew all about that bond, given his friendship with Chanyeol, Jongdae, and Baekhyun.

But Baekbeom himself was a nice, friendly guy. More calm than Baekhyun tended to be, but with the same enthusiasm and sense of humor. As kids, Baekbeom had never hesitated to entertain Baekhyun and his friends, a gesture that had never really been lost on Kyungsoo. Now, he stood next to his car (one of the family’s old ones, which they’d held onto for him when they’d switched to a newer vehicle a few years ago. According to Baekhyun, he’d probably be getting the very same one when he was able to drive) and smiled welcomingly at Kyungsoo. “Hey, ‘Soo! You look nice.”

Kyungsoo smiled in thanks, glancing down at himself. After struggling for probably far too long, searching his closet for something that wasn’t just an old hoodie and jeans, he’d emerged with a black t-shirt and a faded blue and red flannel. He’d kept the old blue jeans, though. Not much could be done to help that, seeing as those were basically the only pants he owned.

“Hey!” Chanyeol greeted, throwing his arm over Kyungsoo’s shoulders without preamble. Kyungsoo’s eyebrows rose, but he didn’t protest. Chanyeol, to his amusement, was wearing exactly what he’d gone to school in- a red sweatshirt, and light blue jeans with holes in the knees. Apparently, Kyungsoo had been thinking too deeply on it. “Where’s Baekhyun?”

Baekbeom seemed amused, glancing to the house. “He’s doing his hair,” he mock-whispered, leaving Kyungsoo’s eyes to widen and Chanyeol to choke out a surprised laugh.

“You mean he has a way to style it that isn’t ‘scene kid’?” Kyungsoo asked, leading Baekbeom to snort and shrug in answer.

Jongdae came next, though Kyungsoo picked him out from down the road rather than being loudly alerted to him, as he was with Chanyeol. Jongdae waved at them with both hands. Unlike Kyungsoo, he was wearing something different-  a black and yellow sweater, with black jeans. There was even a light sheen to his hair, like he’d used product to style it.

Kyungsoo’s heart skipped a subtle beat, and he ignored it.

At last, there was Baekhyun. His hair hadn’t changed much from what Kyungsoo was used to, besides maybe being straighter than usual, and he was dressed similarly to Chanyeol. “Ready to go?” Baekhyun asked cheerily, as though he wasn’t the one they’d been waiting on. Kyungsoo was very tempted to ruffle his hair, just to mess with it.

The house itself showed all signs that the party was in full swing by the time they arrived. There were people hanging out on the front porch of the house, Kyungsoo could see silhouettes lit in the window, wandering around and dancing. He heard the volume that came from the backyard, of voices and some bass heavy music that he didn’t recognize.

He looked next to him, meeting eyes with Jongdae. Jongdae was grinning, apparently excited. Kyungsoo mainly felt apprehension.

“Out!” Baekbeom commanded, parking the car several houses down the street, Kyungsoo couldn’t help but wonder what the neighbors thought about their street being swamped like this, but the thought flew out his head as Jongdae pulled him out of the car to join them. Baekbeom stood in front of the younger teens, crossing his arms over his chest in a mockery of a strict father. Kyungsoo was pretty sure Chanyeol was biting his lip to keep from laughing. “Alright,” said Baekbeom. “I want all four of you back at this car and sober at fifteen-to-midnight. Understood?”

“Yes, sir!” Baekhyun and Jongdae chorused, Baekhyun even throwing in a mock salute. At the motion, Baekbeom’s composure broke, and he snickered.

“Alright, then let’s go!”

---

The house was, in Kyungsoo’s humble opinion, the definition of sensory overload. There was noise everywhere, from laughter to shouts to blaring music, music that Kyungsoo was struggling to identify the source of, because music that loud had to come from a speaker the size of the whole country. He stood in the entryway, jostled aside by older kids and observing.

“Hey!” said a loud voice in his ear, and a hand fell on his upper arm, making him startle. It was only Chanyeol. “We’re going to the backyard,” was what Kyungsoo half heard, half read from his lips. “Come on!”

Kyungsoo nodded, and allowed himself to be dragged by Chanyeol towards the backyard. In the open air, the sound was much easier to deal with, and he found himself breathing a sigh of relief.

“Drinks!” Baekhyun greeted, appearing with Jongdae at his side. Kyungsoo spotted no alcohol, only sodas in his hands- a root beer for Jongdae, a Dr. Pepper for Chanyeol, a pepsi for Kyungsoo and some sort of Hawaiian Punch sugar monstrosity for Baekhyun himself. As per usual. Kyungsoo said his thanks, and the four of them found seats on the steps of the back patio.

“So,” Chanyeol said, his voice trailing off with a sip of his drink. “What’s the game plan?”

“Game plan?” Kyungsoo asked, amused. Chanyeol shrugged.

“Well, yeah! What’s the plan for the night. Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun lifted an eyebrow. “Plan? Baekhyun? Same sentence?”

“There’s a Mario Kart tournament in the living room,” Jongdae interjected, shoving his phone in front of his three best friends. It showed an image someone had posted on their snap story, of a crowd gathered around the tv that Kyungsoo thought he could vaguely recall seeing as he fled from the main house. “I don’t know what they’re planning to do after, but we could join that.”

“Seems right up our alley,” Chanyeol nodded. Jongdae appeared amused.

“Up my alley, you mean.”

“I’ve won in Mario Kart before!” Chanyeol spluttered, insistent. “It’s totally up my alley! Not up Baekhyun’s alley, maybe-”

“Can we not discuss what is and what is not up my alley,” Baekhyun said, covering his mouth to conceal the fact that he was laughing at his own comment. Kyungsoo laughed, too.

It turned out that the Mario Kart tournament was, in fact, not up any of their alleys. Jongdae huffed his pride through coping with a seventh place finish, and pushed his controller off to an older teenager who had been waiting for her turn. “I’m bored, let’s do something else,” he said, stalking straight out of the room. The other three exchanged amused looks, and followed.

By the time night had fallen well and truly, a few hours later, Kyungsoo felt as though they’d done everything the place had to offer. The four of them found their way back outside, which was now slightly more crowded than it had been earlier, due to the bonfair burning easily in the fire pit. They sat back, on top of the patio.

“Baekbeom says hi,” Baekhyun said, returning to the table with four plastic cups and one can. Kyungsoo recognized the label instantly. “Want to share a beer?”

“Sure,” Chanyeol said, leaning forward with unhidden interest at the same time that Jongdae said, “Isn’t that stuff supposed to taste like shit?”

“Wouldn’t know, I’ve never had it.” Baekhyun shrugged, popping the top and beginning to pour four even cups of the liquid. Kyungsoo hesitated.

“Didn’t your brother say were can’t drink?”

“I mean,” Baekhyun began, setting the can aside and reaching for the closest cup. Chanyeol followed suit, and then Jongdae- and then, at last, Kyungsoo. “Technically, he said we have to stay sober. And this isn’t anything at all. One can for four people.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t argue with that logic.

Kyungsoo very quickly discovered that beer tasted noticeably more bitter than he had expected based on smell alone, though the overreactions from Baekhyun and Jongdae (grasping at their throats and gagging, drawing the attention of those sitting by the fire) were ridiculous. Still, he wrinkled his nose as he went for a second sip. “It’s….”

“Gross,” Chanyeol commented, glaring at the plastic cup as though it had offended him. None of the other three could disagree.

By the time they met up with Baekbeom again, having already been waiting outside his car for him for almost twenty minutes, Kyungsoo felt dead on his feet. He was leaning heavily against Chanyeol (definitely more heavily than he reasonably needed to, but something about the way that the taller boy held him close to him by the shoulders was all the comfort that he desired). He opened his eyes at the sound of footsteps, seeing Baekbeom approaching them and swinging his keys on his key ring.

“Have fun?” he asked, stepping around the car and to the driver’s side. The younger teens piled in, with Baekhyun sitting in the passenger’s seat.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo answered, slumping once he was strapped into the back seat. Chanyeol patted his shoulder in invitation, but Kyungsoo couldn’t reach it without sitting up, so he just knocked the side of his head against Chanyeol’s bicep instead. It kind of worked.

The yes, while true, definitely wasn’t due to the party where everyone was older than them, and most of the fun was in being too loud and drinking and smoking pot in the woods behind the house. Not that he’d say that part out loud. The mere thought of honestly speaking like that made something that felt like bile rise in his throat. He swallowed hard.

When Baekhyun invited them to come spend the night, they all agreed, even though all four of them were sleeping soundly within a half an hour of arriving there. Kyungsoo slept easily and comfortably, dreaming of nothing at all.

---

As a child, Baekhyun had hated car rides. He’d been told over and over again by his parents and by Baekbeom that they’d used to have to force him into the car, something he vaguely remembered continuing into his early pre school years. Even after the kicking, crying tantrums had past, there was something Baekhyun positively detested about cars. He still, at age sixteen, sometimes sat in the backseat, though he hid this behind explanations of the backseat being more comfortable. He thought he probably wasn’t fooling anybody.

So, when he started driver’s ed in the spring of his sophomore year, he tried to look on the bright side. Like the fact that he had Jongdae at his side, someone who had a much more positive outlook on driving than Baekhyun did.

“Relax,” encouraged Jongdae, leaning in towards Baekhyun and speaking quietly as they took their seats before the first class. “We don’t even drive the first day.”

Baekhyun nodded, partially and acknowledgement and partially to show he was aware of this. Baekbeom had told him. But then again, it wasn’t like an extra day meant much in terms of the grand scheme of things. Jongdae stared at him an extra moment and then sighed, shaking his head.

The class was largely spent reading a paper book on driving laws, but towards the end everyone had to choose a driving partner and a day for the first drive. And so, Jongdae and Baekhyun walked out of the class with their first drive scheduled for the very next day, at six in the afternoon.

“It’ll be fine,” Jongdae assured, squeezing Baekhyun’s bicep in solidarity. “I promise not to let you kill us.”

Baekhyun shook his head. He’d gotten what Kyungsoo affectionately called a ‘real hairstyle’ a few months ago, so his hair no longer slapped his cheeks and fell in his face with the motion. “Maybe it’ll be good for me,” he suggested, forcing optimism into his voice. “Maybe I’ll overcome my fear once I know how to drive.”

Jongdae grinned, patting Baekhyun on top of his head like he was some kind of dog. “That’s the spirit!” he said, with an over exaggerated peppiness that made Baekhyun smile fondly.

Jongdae had begun to fill out, with the bones in his face becoming more defined, and his limbs no longer moving clumsily and awkwardly. Most days, Baekhyun wanted to curse him for it- Baekhyun and Chanyeol remained in the awkward phase, skinny with limbs too long to know what to do with. Kyungsoo had barely even begun to grow (something Baekhyun never hesitated to tease him for. He had bruises on his arms to show for it). But other days, Baekhyun found himself getting caught up in examining Jongdae’s high cheekbones, and notable jawline.

He called it envy. The growing frequency with which he found himself staring at Jongdae’s eyes and ass... also envy.

“My mom’s here to pick us up,” said Jongdae’s lips, forcing Baekhyun to blink and look at Jongdae as a whole. But Jongdae didn’t appear to notice, his eyes on the phone in his hands.

“Right,” said Baekhyun after a beat of silence. He smiled awkwardly.

The strange feeling in his stomach as he took a seat in the car could only be attributed to his nervousness over driving.

---

Jongdae was a natural, something Baekhyun said with undisguised distaste, kicking against the back of Jongdae’s seat.

“Please don’t do that,” the instructor requested, and Baekhyun begrudgingly lowered his foot and sat up straighter.

Jongdae, however, paid Baekhyun no mind. They were driving in the parking lot of the old strip mall not far from their school, as the sun hung low over the horizon, and Jongdae was easily weaving through the rows of parking spaces without any apparent difficulty. There was no way that Baekhyun could imagine driving for the first time being that simple. Though, he was aware that this wasn’t Jongdae’s first time. Jongdae had told him the day before that he’d been out driving three times previously with his parents. Baekhyun had wondered why his parents hadn’t suggested doing that at any point in time- then, had to admit that even if they had, it was unlikely that he’d actually agree to it.

“Nice turn,” the instructor praised, writing something down on the clipboard she had in her lap, sitting in the passenger’s seat. She’d told them before they began driving that she had access to an emergency brake, a fact which only slightly lowered Baekhyun’s anxiety levels.

“Thanks,” Jongdae said, smiling sunnily and meeting eyes with Baekhyun in the mirror. Baekhyun stuck his tongue out at him, and saw the way that Jongdae’s lips tightened in effort not to laugh at him. Ass.

Baekhyun was beginning to regret not agreeing to be the first driver. Although he’d asked Jongdae to go first, now he was left to do nothing but watch, and be more consumed with apprehension.

When Jongdae finally parked the car smoothly at the end of his hour, the instructor looked at ease. “That was a great first day,” she said, giving Jongdae an encouraging smile. “Just remember to check your mirrors when you start to park, and familiarize yourself with the blinker controls, and you should do just fine.” She uncapped her pen, flipping to a new, clean piece of paper. “Baekhyun, you’re up.”

“Is that up for reconsideration?” Baekhyun joked weakly. Jongdae snorted, unbuckling his seatbelt and reaching back to squeeze Baekhyun’s hand.

“You’ll be fine,” Jongdae promised, smiling easily at him. “Don’t worry. Hey, if you get all the way through the lesson without making her hit the emergency brake, I’ll play League with you.”

“You were going to do that anyway,” Baekhyun scoffed, withdrawing his hand and undoing his own seatbelt. Still, the gesture took some of the pressure off of Baekhyun’s shoulders. Reasonably, after today, all the other times he drove should get easier- right?

After struggling to remember the controls and procedures he’d read in the driving handbook the day before (though, the instructor was very patient with him and didn’t hesitate to assist), he managed to work his way up to actually pressing his foot just fractionally on the gas. His palms were sweating against the steering wheel and his back ached from holding all his tension, but he was kind of doing it.

“Oh, shit,” he murmured, ignoring the disappointed look from the instructor and the way that Jongdae laughed in the backseat. It was almost anticlimactic, how much easier it was to operate the giant machine than he’d originally suspected.

Although he was nowhere near as confident at driving as Jongdae, with notable hesitation in his turns and a tendency to forget to check his mirrors, he ended the lesson with no serious problems. To his relief, the instructor never even had to use the emergency break.

“Congratulations,” said Jongdae, clapping Baekhyun on the shoulder and grinning, grinning even wider when Baekhyun smiled sunnily in return. “Maybe with a hundred more hours, you’ll even be able to get on the road.”

“Hey!” Baekhyun protested, shoving Jongdae away by the chest and huffing. “I did great!” He climbed into the passenger seat of his brother’s car, leaving Jongdae to suffer alone in the backseat. “Didn’t I do great, Baekbeom?”

Baekbeom, home from college on spring break, looked to Baekhyun with a long-suffering expression. “I didn’t see you drive.”

“See, Baekbeom agrees,” Baekhyun said, swatting his hand blindly behind him when he felt Jongdae kick the back of his seat.

“That’s not what I s-”

“ Anyway , we’re going to Chanyeol’s!” Baekhyun interrupted brightly, leaning back as Baekbeom put the car in drive. Baekbeom snorted, but nodded in acknowledgement, exiting the lot and heading home.

---

It was August, and Baekhyun still didn’t have his license. But Jongdae did, and that was all they needed for the time being.

“Okay-” started Kyungsoo, the last to arrive at Baekhyun’s house. Baekhyun’s parents were gone, trusting Baekhyun to behave himself while they visited family for a few days. Probably not their smartest choice. The coffee table had a greasy pizza box on it that Baekhyun thought probably wasn’t more than two days old, and there were dishes piling in the sink. But Baekhyun would get to it eventually.

Kyungsoo shut the door behind him, facing his three best friends. “I know it’s weird but-”

“Oh my god ,” said Chanyeol, the last word coming out as more of a gasp than a real word, and Baekhyun agreed with the statement, because oh my god, Kyungsoo. Under the attention, Kyungsoo notably reddened, but that didn’t stop Baekhyun from staring, unabashed.

He was wearing one of the hottest outfits that Baekhyun had ever seen. And considering that Kyungsoo’s idea of dressing up was usually more along the lines of beige pants a size too large and a sweater that Baekhyun would never call ugly (to Kyungsoo’s face), Baekhyun was finding himself in shock. His pants, tight dark jeans, hugged in all the important places and accentuated his waist, where he had a slightly oversized red shirt tucked just slightly in. And he’d gotten a haircut, shortening the sides but leaving the top longer, something so different from the usual floppy mess that Baekhyun was used to seeing over the last few years.

Yes, I know , Baekhyun thought urgently to the increasingly-more-self-aware bisexual part of his brain. I know .

“Jesus Christ,” said Jongdae, walking over and running his hand through Kyungsoo’s hair, just managing to avoid the swat Kyungsoo sent his way. “Holy- is that gel ?”

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo murmured, shifting from foot to foot. “I- are we going?”

“You look hot as shit, Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol spoke up, a light laugh entering his tone. Baekhyun was struggling to speak, with how dry his mouth had suddenly become.

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo said plainly, straightening his back. He met Baekhyun’s eyes, making Baekhyun look away abruptly, and cough.

“Aren’t your parents crazy conservative?” Chanyeol asked, tossing Jongdae his keys from where they sat on the table beside the door. “How did you-”

“It’s Seungsoo’s outfit,” Kyungsoo admitted, the red finally beginning to fade from his cheeks. “I don’t know when he bought it, but I found it in his closet the other day. I ran out the door before my parents could notice anything.”

“It looks good,” Baekhyun said, finally finding his voice.

Kyungsoo looked at Baekhyun, the awkwardness in his posture finally softening. “Thanks,” he repeated.

Baekhyun found himself adjusting his own outfit the whole drive to the party, at a house belonging to a recently graduated senior that Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Chanyeol knew from stage crew. His shirt was suddenly to baggy around his stomach, and his pants too tight at the waist. And his hair was too messy, though he felt that every move he made to make it nicer, he subsequently made the problem worse.

“Here,” Chanyeol interrupted, after Baekhyun had managed to fully frustrate himself for five minutes straight. Baekhyun sighed in defeat and turned his head in Chanyeol’s direction, allowing Chanyeol to fix whatever Baekhyun had just managed to do to his hair. Idly, he found his eyes tracing over Chanyeol’s arms, and the definition of his shoulders- so, maybe Chanyeol had filled out without him noticing, after all.

He said his thanks to Chanyeol and then faced forward, telling his brain to be quiet, for once.

---

Baekhyun blamed hormones and alcohol. He was never sure what Kyungsoo had used to justify it. Maybe he blamed Baekhyun. All Baekhyun knew was that the next morning, he was shaken awake by Jongdae, who wore a much more serious expression than Baekhyun was accustomed to seeing.

“What time is it?” Baekhyun asked, unable to open his eyes again for more than a moment or so. His head was pounding, his mouth tasted foul, and his stomach churned. As far as Baekhyun could tell, it was definitely the drunkest he’d ever been, especially considering he’d only been drunk a few times prior to this. And god, it sucked ass .

“Baekhyun, get up,” Jongdae ordered, nudging Baekhyun’s side with his foot. Baekhyun groaned, forcing his eyes open and glaring upwards.

“ Why ?” He glanced around, taking in his surroundings. He was on the floor of his living room, a blanket over him and a couch cushion for a pillow. As far as he could tell, it was only them there. “Where’s-”

“Kyungsoo and Chanyeol went home a half an hour ago,” Jongdae answered quietly. He’d sat down on the edge of the couch and was watching Baekhyun warily. It wasn’t an expression Baekhyun liked at all. He felt something like dread gathering in his stomach- although, he wasn’t certain that that wasn’t actually his dinner from the night before.

“... Did something happen?” Baekhyun dared to ask after a moment, pushing himself into sitting position. The initial nausea began to subside, but he didn’t trust it enough to move more than necessary. At the way Jongdae bit his lip, alarm bells went off. “Dae?”

“Look, Chanyeol and I already said we’d talk to them and see if they’d take it down-” Jongdae began, but Baekhyun’s eyes widened, and he couldn’t help but interrupt.

“What happened ?”

Jongdae finally pushed the phone in his hands in Baekhyun’s direction.

Baekhyun found himself watching the story play on repeat, captivated by the strange disconnected sensation he felt towards it, despite how clearly he could see himself. Himself, with a hand on the shoulder of a shorter person, with his lips sloppy and unpracticed against their’s. The other person, a hand on Baekhyun’s wrist and wearing dark jeans that fit them perfectly-

Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun saw the face in his mind’s eye, a foggy recollection of fumbling and drunkenness and the seeping, gradual warmth that came with kissing.

He’d kissed Kyungsoo.

At least, he thought he’d been the one to initiate. He couldn’t really remember the details- not that they mattered, he thought frantically, and pushed the phone back towards Jongdae before he could watch another loop.

Baekhyun could feel his pulse racing in his ears. “I- does Kyungsoo-“

“Yeah,” Jongdae said, cutting Baekhyun off and leading him to the conclusion he’d already reached, that Kyungsoo had left so early because of this. “I showed him and Chanyeol took him home. He said something about wanting to get some fucking sleep .” The way Jongdae quoted Kyungsoo, exaggeratedly heavy and deep-voiced, was clearly supposed to make Baekhyun laugh. Baekhyun didn’t laugh.

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, and promptly threw up into the wastebasket beside him.

Shortly after, with Jongdae’s hand on his back and his legs a lot steadier, Baekhyun sat on the couch and stared forward, thoughts churning in his head too fast to actually comprehend.

“Hey,” Jongdae scolded, snapping his fingers in front of Baekhyun’s face. “What are you worried about?” He frowned, suddenly seeming more worried than before. “You don’t think I’d judge you for this shit, right? The gay thing, I mean, because I am definitely judging you forgetting drunk off your ass-“

“I’m not gay,” Baekhyun insisted. At Jongdae’s raised eyebrow, Baekhyun deflated, sinking down low on the couch cushions. “I’m bi.”

“ Either one ,” Jongdae said exasperatedly. “That’s not what this is about, right?” Baekhyun shook his head. “Are you upset about people videoing you guys? Because trust me, Chanyeol and I are pretty pissed too, we messaged the guy and he hasn’t responded yet, but I bet I could find his house and drive my car through his door.”

“You love your car too much,” Baekhyun snorted, brushing his hair back with his fingers and shaking his head.

“What does that say about you, then?”

“I’m bi, not desperate,” Baekhyun teased, and Jongdae whines loudly, pulling his hand away from where it had been soothing Baekhyun’s back. “But… no, I’m not that upset. It’s not like anyone I know would really care.”

“Then what are you upset about?”

Baekhyun bit his lip, turning away from Jongdae. He wasn’t sure he knew the answer to that. All he knew was he felt anxious and nervous, felt like he needed to see Kyungsoo right then but was far too scared to try that.

“How did Kyungsoo take it?” Baekhyun asked, instead of answering. Jongdae gave him a look, a knowing one that Baekhyun wasn’t entirely sure was either comforting or threatening.

“He didn’t really say anything. He- you know him, he just shook it off and said he was heading home to sleep.”

The doorbell rang. Jongdae stood up to get it, and Baekhyun tried not to stare too intensely at the doorway, hoping-

It was Chanyeol. Baekhyun was disappointed.

The feeling was gone in an instant, however, when Chanyeol walked straight over to Baekhyun and fell on the couch, with so much force that Baekhyun almost worried it may collapse- and then pulled Baekhyun against his chest. “I’m going to punch a dick,” Chanyeol said promptly, patting his large hand against the back of Baekhyun’s head.

“You couldn’t punch someone to save your life,” said Jongdae, unable to hide the amusement in his voice. Similarly, Baekhyun found himself incapable of fighting down a smile when Chanyeol protested, “I could too!”

Chanyeol was, essentially, a large, overgrown puppy. He needed his contact comfort, and he was the best at dealing it out when time was needed. Even if his idea of contact comfort was smothering his friends into happiness. Whatever worked. Either way, Baekhyun found himself thinking less about the situation and worrying less about Kyungsoo- and thinking more about the fact that his stomach, now empty, was growling.

“Cook for me?” Baekhyun asked in his most pitiful voice, making both Chanyeol and Jongdae laugh, giving him fond looks.

“Sure,” said Chanyeol, rustling Baekhyun’s hair and standing up. Baekhyun and Jongdae played video games while they waited for Chanyeol to manufacture something edible, and although Baekhyun found his thoughts continuing to gravitate towards the video, he tried to move past it. Everyone would forget within a few days.

—-

It had been two weeks, and Kyungsoo was still avoiding Baekhyun.

To give Kyungsoo some credit, Baekhyun hadn’t exactly been trying to come into contact with Kyungsoo. Maybe when Chanyeol hosted that late night gaming session over the weekend and Baekhyun had heard Kyungsoo was going to be there, Baekhyun had faked sick (complete with wretching sounds he was certain Jongdae had recognized as fake over the phone, but he couldn’t help but add in). And maybe Baekhyun had taken to hiding in the bathrooms during passing time rather than walking with Kyungsoo to classes.

But it wasn’t just Baekhyun’s fault! Kyungsoo refused to answer his texts with anything more than monosyllable words, and although Kyungsoo could sometimes be a dry texter, it had certainly never been that bad. Kyungsoo also had partnered with Jinsung and Woobin in chemistry rather than Baekhyun, which he never did. Baekhyun had sulked about that one for a good few days.

But Baekhyun was growing tired of it, perhaps at an even faster rate than Chanyeol and Jongdae were.

“I’m tired of this,” Chanyeol had told him only three days after The Incident, and Baekhyun didn’t have the words to tell him he’d been tired of it since day one.

So, Baekhyun went to school Monday morning, day sixteen since The Incident, and sought out Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun knew Kyungsoo. Baekhyun knew Kyungsoo better than Baekhyun knew Baekhyun, probably, and it had been like that for a long time. It was the kind of personal relationship that could only come with being best friends as long as they could remember. Because of this, Baekhyun knew exactly when Kyungsoo would arrive at school, and where he would go.

The band and choir hall was an area of the school not often ventured by people not involved in the arts, meaning that many of those in the hall were familiar faces. Baekhyun had dropped choir at the start of his junior year, but didn’t at all mind the friendly way people of all grades greeted him as he walked through, even at seven in the morning.

And Kyungsoo was exactly where Baekhyun expected, with his back leaned up against a set of lockers (a set Baekhyun was certain hadn’t been put in use in years- at least, not in the time he’d been in high school). He had a textbook and notebook on his lap, hurriedly finishing some homework he hadn’t taken the time to do before. Baekhyun smiled fondly, and sat heavily besides him.

Kyungsoo’s pencil stilled for half a second, and then kept moving. Baekhyun tried to ignore the hammering in his chest, because this was Kyungsoo . They were better than this. It was a kiss, and they’d been drunk, and it hadn’t even managed to spread far throughout the school. All that was left was the lingering awkwardness.

He cleared his throat, knocking his knee against Kyungsoo’s thigh. “So, ‘Soo.”

The pencil kept twitching, but Baekhyun couldn’t help but notice it wasn’t writing anything. “So, Baek’.”

“I was thinking,” Baekhyun continued, bumping Kyungsoo with his knee once again. “You still haven’t told me what you want for your birthday.”

Kyungsoo’s brow furrowed, and he looked up. Baekhyun internally weeped with joy, because he couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually met Kyungsoo’s eyes. (In a bro way, he told himself, and focused intently on the way that Kyungsoo’s lips parted to respond, in a completely platonic way).

“I don’t want anything,” he said dismissively, immediately eliciting a whine of complaint from Baekhyun, one that drew looks from those around them. “I don’t!” Kyungsoo insisted, when Baekhyun didn’t stop.

“Liar,” Baekhyun accused, and his his own grin when the corners of Kyungsoo’s lips turned upward. “Don’t tell me you told Jongdae and Chanyeol the good stuff and you’re gonna leave me to figure it out on my own.”

Kyungsoo snorted, and shook his head. “Why would I do that? I know you’d just come do this to me if I did that.”

“Do whaaaaat?” Baekhyun asked, with a significant larger annoying factor than normal. Kyungsoo shook his head again and shoved Baekhyun away, his cheeks bunches up with a fuller smile now. Baekhyun felt whatever had been out of sync between them slide naturally back into place.

But shit, he really didn’t know what he was going to get Kyungsoo for his birthday.

—-

Baekhyun couldn’t remember what he bought Kyungsoo for that year, which was probably a testament to his gift giving capabilities. But the second semester of junior year passed quickly, in the midst of SATs and ACTs that Baekhyun and Jongdae studied at lot less for than they probably should have, but managed completely decent scores.

Summer between junior year and senior year was by far the best one yet, that any of them could remember. By then, all of them were driving (though Chanyeol lacked a car)- even Baekhyun, who, though not the first to volunteer being the group’s chauffeur, no longer dreaded getting behind the wheel.

Jongdae reveled in the freedom that came with having his own car and being able to go wherever he wanted in it. Sometimes, late summer nights, he would shoot a text in their group chat and ask if anyone wanted to come with him on late night drives. Usually, he got at least one response. Often, it was Chanyeol.

A huge upside to having his own car was being able to drive to Chanyeol’s dad’s house on the other side of town and pick him up from there, whenever they wanted to do something.

It was mid-July, and chillier than it had been in weeks, even for nighttime. Jongdae felt goosebumps rising up on his arms, unprotected by his short-sleeved t-shirt, but didn’t roll up his windows. He loved night driving. Even if he probably didn’t have the money to be affording to just drive around (though he had been applying multiple places in the area for the last couple weeks, and was just waiting on a call back), he found himself going out late at least once or twice a week. With his windows down and night quiet, even on the roads, it had an element of peacefulness.

Chanyeol looked like he’d just rolled out of bed, hair a mess on his head and hands tucked deep in the pouch of his sweatshirt, eyes puffy with what Jongdae hoped was sleep, but wasn’t about to ask otherwise.

“Hey,” Chanyeol greeted, closing the passenger door quietly behind him and settling into the seat. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“Did I wake you up?” Jongdae asked in response, changing gears and starting the car down the lowlit street. Chanyeol shrugged.

“Yeah, but I don’t mind.”

Sometimes when Jongdae went on night drives with others, they were loud and talkative, but not always and not tonight. It seemed Chanyeol had something or another on his mind, and Jongdae was content to drive around mindlessly while he thought it through. Every few minutes, he would glance to Chanyeol out of the corner of his eye and find his best friend slumped in his seat, eyes directed out the car window. Jongdae’s fingers itched to fix his hair.

“I’m gonna pull into Promise,” Jongdae said, after the silence had stretched out for a while and he’d driven enough to content himself. Chanyeol lifted his head abruptly, as if he’d forgotten that he was even present.

“Oh, okay,” said Chanyeol, and straightened his back in his seat.

Promise Park still held fond memories for Jongdae, although he thought the last time he’d been there must have been at least six years ago, for some long forgotten friend’s birthday party. He saw that they’d taken down one of the old playstructures, leaving a pile of dirt and dead grass in its place, and had added another, closer to the picnic table pavilion. Jongdae parked in the parking lot, and considered walking to the pavilion, but rejected the thought. The air in the car was delicate, and with the windows down and the car turned off, he heard nothing but the sound of bugs and night life. He liked it.

Chanyeol unfastened his seatbelt, turning so his back was pressed against the door and his front faced Jongdae. Jongdae turned his head, wondering if Chanyeol was going to say something, but Chanyeol was looking out the front window rather than at Jongdae.

Jongdae unfasted his seatbelt and slumped into his seat, watching the shadows of the park and feeling the light breeze bump against his cheeks. He could taste just the slightest bit of rain in the air, although he saw no sight of rain clouds. Still, he didn’t think he’d mind a little rain. Rain had a way of making him comfortable, even if he was just sitting in a car with Chanyeol in a park. He wondered if a lot of other teenagers did this, but he could imagine that they did- to smoke in the woods, or fuck in cars.

He heard Chanyeol sigh and send an image directly to his brain, which he quickly and urgently pushed aside.

“What are you thinking?” Chanyeol asked Jongdae then, and Jongdae scrambled to trace his thoughts back to where they had been before… that .

“Thinking about what teenagers use parks for versus what kids use parks for,” Jongdae said, tapping his pointer finger against the bottom of the steering wheel. Chanyeol snorted, and Jongdae shrugged. “It’s the right setting to compare those things in.”

“I guess,” said Chanyeol, less dismissive than amused. Still, Jongdae saw his opening.

“You good?”

Chanyeol didn’t blink, or look surprised at the question. His only reaction was to slump a little farther down in his seat and pause. Jongdae let him take his time to respond.

“I came out to my dad today,” Chanyeol admitted, speaking and placing each word as though they were special and delicate, and Jongdae supposed they were. Still, Jongdae felt his eyebrows rise without his input.

“What’d he say?” Jongdae asked, a logical follow up. Chanyeol shrugged, throwing his shoulders up in such a way that Jongdae could tell he was irritated.

“It- it wasn’t bad,” Chanyeol said slowly, like he was thinking through and making the determination on the spot. “It really wasn’t. It was more like- he wasn’t overwhelmingly supportive, or anything. And that’s fine, I didn’t expect that, it’s just-” Chanyeol wet his lips, and kissed his teeth. “I guess- he just seemed disappointed, ‘Dae. He didn’’t say anything, but I could tell. He didn’t want to talk about any of it after.”

“I’m sorry,” said Jongdae, and meant it. Some of the tension fell from Chanyeol’s shoulders, even at just the two words.

“It’s okay,” Chanyeol said, and forced a smile. Jongdae felt a lump gather in his throat. “I’m just happy he didn’t take it badly.”

“You know you can call any of us if you need anything,” Jongdae said, and there was no doubt who us referred to. “Any of us would do whatever we could to help-”

“It’s okay,” Chanyeol, gently. “I’m alright. He’ll get over it, and if he doesn’t- that’s his problem.” He paused, then glanced up at Jongdae, considering something. The way that he was scanning Jongdae’s face, with his hair still frustratingly all over the place but his eyes the warmest they’d been all night, made Jongdae’s heart ache. Chanyeol smiled. “But, I know. Thank you.”

Jongdae smiled back, for maybe a few seconds too long. Chanyeol didn’t seem to mind.

---

College acceptance came in parts, but by February of senior year, they all had confirmation that they would, indeed, all be able to attend the same college. It was a common one for people in their area to attend, seeing as it was only an hour’s drive away, but far enough that all four of them had elected to live in the dorms for at least their first year on campus.

After celebrating the last acceptance (Jongdae had been late on his application compared to the rest of them), Baekhyun sprang up from where he’d collapsed comfortably onto Jongdae’s bed with an uncharacteristically serious look on his face.

“So,” he said, “Who’s rooming with who?”

They hadn’t really talked about it up until now, focusing more on their worries about all being accepted into the university or scholarships instead of the finer details, but now, the question seemed glaring for all of them.

“There’s only doubles and singles, right?” Chanyeol asked, and received a nod in confirmation.

“So,” Baekhyun repeated, and left the word hanging amongst the four of them.

Kyungsoo, sitting in Jongdae’s desk chair, puffed his cheeks. Even privately, in his own brain, none of the other three poked out more in his mind as someone that he’d want to room with over the others. Ideally, he’d be able to room with all of them, but apparently that wasn’t an option. He tapped his foot on the ground.

Baekhyun would be a good roommate for the fact that he knew Kyungsoo’s limits and wasn’t hurt if Kyungsoo wanted some time for peace and quiet rather than just constantly doing things. On the flip side, Baekhyun was notorious for not picking up after himself- Kyungsoo had found himself tidying up Baekhyun’s own house more than once, and didn’t want that to be his life all year, but at least it would give him something to do.

Chanyeol would be good because his presence wasn’t draining on Kyungsoo’s personal energy, and he knew how to calm down quicker than the other two. However, Chanyeol tended to blast his music louder than was ever necessary, and often roped Kyungsoo into watching movies that made Chanyeol cry and Kyungsoo sit uncomfortably, but Kyungsoo thought that he was used enough to all of those things that it wouldn’t necessarily even be too bad of a thing.

Jongdae was the most appealing choice on surface level, being that he was a happy medium of all things, but he was also much more social than Kyungsoo was, and Kyungsoo had no doubt that as Jongdae’s roommate, he’d be meeting a lot of new people, and often. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing, though. Kyungsoo didn’t particularly dislike meeting new people, on his own terms anyway.

He wondered if the others were thinking thing through similarly, right at that moment.

“Let’s draw cards,” said Chanyeol, speaking after what was probably only a few seconds of silence, but felt longer to Kyungsoo’s analyzing mind.

Drawing cards was something they’d come up with as kids, in order to separate the four of them into teams, or choosing partners on projects when they just couldn’t choose. Kyungsoo’s couldn’t even think to count how many decks of cards had been ruined by losing cards through their method, but as long as it had worked, he wasn’t sure he minded.

Jongdae grabbed a card deck off of his desk and opened it, searching through until he’d found two red cards, and two black cards. Then, he shuffled them in his hands. Kyungsoo tried not to watch, not sure where he’d even benefit from following one card anyway.

When Jongdae was done, they all took one card from where they were spread out in his hands, and Jongdae held the remainder.

Kyungsoo had pulled an ace of spades, a black card. He turned his card out to the group at the same time as the others, and instantly found the other black card- king of clubs, in Chanyeol’s hand.

Kyungsoo smiled, pleased to find that he wasn’t disappointed at all with this outcome, not that he’d exactly expected to be.

“Roommates!” said Baekhyun, high pitched and excited, walking over to Jongdae and slinging his arm around his waist like a claim. He had drawn a ten of hearts, which he held up beside Jongdae’s queen of diamonds. “I know you were hoping to pick me.”

Jongdae rolled his eyes but he was smiling too. It wasn’t like the four of them would be far from each other, anyway.

And when they got their room assignments, they definitely weren’t- they were even all located on the same floor of their building, the fifth floor, with a kitchen and living space in the middle. For months leading to summer and breezing through senior year, Kyungsoo didn’t think they even discussed anything else besides plans and ideas for how to spend their free time in college.

Kyungsoo threw his cap in the air and smiled a few rows in front of him, at the back of Baekhyun’s head, Several rows farther back, Jongdae hit Chanyeol with his cap on the way down, and they laughed their way out of the aisles.

None of them could wait for all that would come next.