Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The group is stationed out in the woods after spending most of the day traveling from their latest mission. They have to hike through the wilderness for a few days in order to get back to the jet. The team came prepared with the right equipment. The team consists of Peter, Bucky, Steve, Clint, Sam, and Natasha. They are discussing what actions to take while seated around a cozy fire and waiting for their meal to be prepared. The plan was that after the avengers finished their meal, they’d continue their journey. There’s no real hurry to get there, seeing as times are peaceful now since the infinity war ended and the avengers got back together, but the team is eager to go to sleep in real beds and not the cold, hard ground. They had enough stamina to travel for another several hours.

Peter and Sam arrive with trays of food and place them before the others. Peter silently lets out a tired sigh and takes a seat in between Bucky and Steve. The men plus Natasha either thank the two for the meal or lightly bow their head in gratitude before digging in. The young teen munches on some of the rice and sips the warm tea. He feels like Kagome from that Inuyasha anime Ned’s made him watch. Anime was never Peter’s thing, but he can see the appeal of it. There are stories told that aren’t normal in America. Plus, most – not all – anime has an actual ending. In America, shows go on way past their prime and are still ongoing for the sake of money and popularity. Peter’s favorite anime, if he had to pick, is Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

Peter gazes at the crackling fire and trails off into deep thought.

After the war, and everyone made up, Steve, Bucky, and Tony got together and have been the happiest than anyone’s ever seen them before. Any tension left over from the civil war dissipated. The Guardians went back to travel through space. Thor is staying at the compound. Strange and Wong remain in Britain. Everyone got to know the small spider and instantly got attached.

The war had ended a year ago, but it took with it some casualties. It was a war, after all. There will always be casualties. Peter just wishes it wasn’t her. When everyone was turned back to normal after becoming ash, panic and chaos set in through the public. There were riots and marches happening all over the world. People took the moments of confusion and fear to rob and murder. Homes were set on fire. Businesses were ransacked. People had to watch their loved ones get taken away again before their eyes. Orphanages were flooded. Hospitals couldn’t take any more patients, which caused more anger. It was that anger that took May. She had to turn away a man whose wife was going into labor. She didn’t want to, but there was literally no room let. Not enough staff, so she denied him. In a fit of anger and probable panic, the man pulled out a gun and shot her. May couldn’t be saved in time.

When Peter learnt the news, he was absolutely devastated. The others tried to be there for him the best way that they could, but Peter shut down. He didn’t eat. He didn’t leave his room except for patrols. He barely slept. Peter got reckless during patrols. It got so bad that Peter started thinking about finding the man who killed May and seek out revenge. Tony stepped in and put an end to his self-destructive behavior. Steve and Sam took Peter out on their runs. Natasha sparred with him. Bruce helped Peter with techniques to calm down. Bucky had Peter help him work on motorcycles and cars. In the end, Bucky, Steve, and Tony adopted Peter as their son, and his life has gotten better since then. They saved Peter from going down a dark road.

Peter can’t help but feel like a burden to the avengers every time dark thoughts like that come back. He worries that they’ll get frustrated and wonder why they aren’t enough to make the depression go away. Peter is surprised that he is still welcomed to stay with the team.

The avengers have gone back to being the protectors of New York and the world and are recognized as true heroes among the people. Peter smiles at that thought and takes another sip of his tea. They’ve worked so hard to get that title back, and now they are treated with respect when they go out on patrol – or at least for the most part. There are still waves of unrest circulating through the public. Though the times are considered “peaceful”, it doesn’t mean that it’s entirely peaceful. Hostility will always flourish.

Peter shakes his head and goes back to paying attention to the cozy fire.

He honestly is tired. The spring evening isn’t cold, but it is chilly enough to raise goosebumps on his skin. With a hot fire and warm tea in his stomach, Peter can’t help but feel snug and sleepy. The young spider struggles with staying awake and not setting off any alarms for the others. The brunette really believes that he’s succeeding, but…

Green eyes have been watching the boy in amusement since he came with the trays of food. They observed how Peter hardly ate his food and preferred to sip his tea. After each sip, the boy’s expression became more relaxed and dazed. The orange glow from the fire illuminated his snowy skin and brown eyes as he got lost in thought. Natasha was of course discreet about observing Peter. She was still attentive to the conversations around her. The black widow almost let out a tickled puff of air when Peter came back to reality and realized that he was getting sleepy. The look of determination on his face could only be described as adorable. Peter looked like a pouting child to the woman. It took everything she had not to laugh at his attempts of being stealthy. In all fairness, Peter has lasted a lot longer than Natasha thought he would today. So, she commends Peter on his strength and endurance.

“I believe that we should rest for the night and continue on our journey tomorrow,” Natasha says calmly.

“What? But why, Nat? You don’t seem tired to me,” Sam speaks up.

“Could be that she’s getting too old for this kind of stuff,” Clint snickers.

“Like you’re one to talk,” Sam mutters under his breath.

“What was that?” Clint barks, smacking Sam in the back of the head.

Sam glares at the archer.

“Knock it off! Both of you!” Steve demands and the two settle down but not without exchanging a few jabs and whispering insults to each other. The captain sighs from the irritation of his teammates. After pinching the bridge of his nose, Steve looks at Natasha. “Is there a reason why you suddenly want to camp here for the night?”

“Only one,” Natasha answers coolly and glances at the unaware Peter. He’s still focused on staying upright.

 The men follow Natasha’s line of vision, and the group of “stone cold killers” are overcome by a deep, warm affection for their little spider.  Peter’s head keeps dipping down only for him to startle and snap his face up. He’s trying so hard to stay awake, but today was so physically taxing and has left him exhausted. They see how Peter has hardly touched his food but emptied his cup of tea. It’s endearing to see how Peter is trying to act tough like them.

The men have grown very fond of their little spider. Bucky and Steve see Peter as a son – Bucky more so than Steve, surprisingly. Natasha and Sam see the young teen as their nephew. Clint sees him as his little brother. They’ve become extremely protective of him and watch over Peter even when he’s not aware of it. The team used to get up every day and accept that they could die that same day. Now they wake up every morning, looking forward to living another day and more to come. Peter’s presence is almost blinding to the avengers. Peter does so much for them. He has become their family. If only Peter knew how much he is loved. The amount of threats they’ve made to people who have dared hurt Peter is a little embarrassing. Especially when it’s Bucky and Natasha who make the threats.

“Right. I understand. I guess we are camping here for the night,” Steve chuckles.

A comfortable silence falls over the team. Bucky looks down at Peter. His eyes are almost closed. It’s like watching a baby animal fall asleep. He chuckles and places his flesh hand on Peter’s head. The brunette jerks awake and looks up at Bucky, confused and embarrassed.

“Dad?” Peter asks.

The brunette cocks a half grin at him. Since Bucky and his two boyfriends adopted Peter as their son, the teen quickly acclimated to the changes. It’s like they’ve always been a family. He calls Steve ‘pops’, Tony ‘papa’, and Bucky ‘dad’. The first time Peter called them that, the three men squeezed Pete into a group hug. Peter’s face was so red by the end of it.

“If you’re tired, then just say so. You shouldn’t be pushing yourself so hard. If your body is telling you that you need rest, then listen to it,” Bucky says while tousling the boy’s hair.

“Yeah, Pete, we wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to catch some Z’s,” Clint pipes in.

“But I don’t want you all to stop when you’re not tired. Especially if I’m the only one who’s resting,” Peter quickly defends.

Bucky’s hand leaves Peter’s hair and rests on his shoulder then bicep. Without using much strength, the soldier pulls the teen over to lean against him. Peter’s face flushes bright red but makes no attempt to pull away. His aching body crumples at the welcoming warmth.

“You can use my lap as a pillow if you want. Try to get some rest, Peter,” Bucky’s arm is draped lazily around Peter’s shoulders. The hand of said arm plays with the spider’s brown curls to coax him into sleeping.

“Okay, but only for a few minutes,” Peter’s speech becomes slurred and slow as sleep captures him.

“Naturally,” Bucky lightly shakes from suppressed laughter.

“I think he’s picked up this unhealthy sleeping habit from you, Clint,” Natasha playfully scolds.

“Shut up,” Clint rolls his eyes.

Steve is happy that Peter’s getting some rest. Seeing him collapse while they travelled would not sit well with him in the least. The captain gets comfortable against a tree and looks out over the nearby lake. He hears the serene noises of the small waves crashing and sliding into the shore. Occasionally, he’ll hear a few splashes from animals and the croaking of frogs. The moon is reflecting off the water’s surface like a mirror. Lightning bugs glitter the air. What a peaceful place. The night carries on without incident.

*

Daylight breaks and the team is up and preparing for the day. Peter is disturbed by someone gently shaking his shoulder.

“Peter, it’s time to get up now,” a voice calls to him.

Bucky isn’t there now. He left earlier that morning to change into new clothes and help make breakfast. Bucky’s probably having some cute romances with Steve too. Before he got up, he made sure to leave Peter in a comfortable patch of grass and draped his jacket over him as a makeshift cover, and he stuck a backpack under Peter’s head as some form of a pillow.

“Kid, if you don’t get up soon, I can’t promise you that your breakfast will remain safe from the others,” the same calm voice warns.

“Peter, you have only five seconds to get up before I do it my way!” Clint threatens from somewhere far away. In Peter’s drowsy, half asleep state, he turns over on his side, putting his back to the archer. He’s a teen. He’s not a morning person. It’s Clint’s fault for challenging him like that.

“Pfft,” Steve lets out a puff of air and his lips twitch into a slight smile.

“Hey! Don’t ignore me!” Clint exclaims. A few of the others chuckle at the scene. The mischievous archer storms over to Peter, counting down from five. “…two. One!”

At the end of the countdown, Clint scoops Peter up in his arms and walks from the spot. Morning air is frigid against the teen’s skin. The warm cocoon that he had is long gone and destroyed. Peter seems to be growing more aware now but still half asleep. He’s really slow getting up today.

“Clint, where are you going with Peter!?” Sam calls out, running after the two.

“He’s taking too long waking up, so I’m going to wake him up the Barton way! Hmph!” Clint rock Peter over and then tosses him out over the lake like he weighs nothing.

“Clint!” Steve shouts, running with the rest of the team to the lake. They all wince in their own way when Peter makes contact with the water in a less than graceful way. It was soon followed by an ear-piercing scream.

“He’s finally awake now,” Clint smiles triumphantly with arms crossed.

“Well congrats, but now we have to wait for him and his clothing to dry,” Natasha rolls her eyes and runs a hand through her hair.

“I hope he doesn’t catch a cold,” Steve worries with furrowed brows.

“Clint, once Peter is out of the water and into dry clothes, we will discuss the probability of your death,” Bucky glares at the archer. That’s a Winter Soldier glare. Clint’s life isn’t looking too good right now.

“I’ll go find him some spare clothes,” Sam announces before leaving the group.

***

Peter plunges into the water. The impact felt like blades piercing his body. The water is so icy cold – it’s practically crippling him. The young spider kicks his legs around and breaks through the surface of the water. He gasps and hacks up whatever water entered his mouth and nose. If the brunette thought the smell of the lake was bad before, now he’s up close and personal with it. Water went up his nose and a sharp pain shoots to the back of his head, and Peter whimpers in pain. Getting water up the nose is worse than any torture. Peter’s eyes a clenched tight and waits for the pain to pass. Shivers go up Peter’s spine as that instinctive fear that something may be lurking underneath the water. He knows that there isn’t but that fear remains.  Peter struggles to look at the lake shore where he had previously been, but there’s too much water in his eyes to see clearly. If he tried to wipe the hindrance away, it’d only splash more water into his face and make him go back under.

Peter isn’t the best swimmer, but he knows enough to make it back to land. However, his body isn’t listening to his mind. He understands the concept that if he doesn’t get out of the water soon, then he’ll over exhaust himself and go under. Not only that, the water is much more frigid than he and the others present had thought. Mix that with the occasional spring breeze that’s hitting him, and Peter has the chances of quickly going into hypothermia. Fortunately, it’ll take a while for such a condition to happen, but it doesn’t mean that he should take his time.

Over the sounds of his splashing and gasping, Peter can hear Clint laughing at his latest prank. Bucky’s screaming indicates that he is beyond livid and is considering how bad murder really is. The spider can faintly make out that Natasha is standing by Bucky. Peter is too far away to see what kind of expression is on her face, but there’s a great chance that it’s as impassive as ever.

Peter is sure that his face is bright red from embarrassment and being mad. The teen mentally notes that after this, he is going to spike Clint’s food with different types of laxatives that’ll make him regret every choice he’s ever made today.

The young spider occasionally stops using his legs and relies on his arms to stay afloat. His muscles have been getting tired and sluggish, cramping up from the abrupt use after waking up. Peter’s mind is racing at the speed of light. He’s thinking of all the things he needs to be doing but isn’t putting those thoughts into action. It’s like Peter’s body has shut down the second it hit the water. It’s going into shock.

He doesn’t realize how his skin has become pale, and his lips have taken on a bluish tint.

***

“Clint, I hope you’re ready for the consequences later,” Steve says with arms folded. He glances back and forth between the men and Peter. He hasn’t called out for them to help him, yet he hasn’t moved from that spot. Perhaps it’s Peter’s way of pouting, or is he still processing what happened a few minutes ago?

Bucky has a look of concern on his face as he watches his kid. The man has a huge sense of foreboding that’s raising the hairs on the back of his neck. With his lifestyle and line of work, Bucky has learned to trust his gut more than anything else. He can’t get a good look of Peter’s face from this distance, but the way his arms are moving and how forceful they’re splashing around must indicate that he’s struggling to some degree.

“Hey…” He calls out nervously to the group.

“What?” One if them snaps at Bucky. The ex-assassin ignores it and continues to watch Peter.

“Something’s wrong,” Bucky answers seriously.

Bucky’s heart crashes to a halt. Sure, it’s normal when someone’s head dunks under the water every now and then while they swim, but not that frequently! Peter is going under again and again. Now that Bucky is thinking about it, Peter isn’t swimming in that way. There’s a difference between just swimming and swimming to survive. The brunette is facing them, arms smacking at the lake’s surface in front of him. The kid is trying to reach out for them! They’ve been standing there, watching him while he’s been begging for their help.

Dammit!

“Very wrong!” He dashes towards the water, stripping off his clothing except for his boxers.

Everyone else falls silent, and their gazes flash to Peter. He’s hardly moved – if at all – from his spot. The boy is pretty far out but not so far that he couldn’t simply swim back. His skin looks pale. They can’t see how his complexion has a light hue of blue from the freezing lake water. Peter’s movements are hardly putting up a fight against the water. All of their hearts stop when Peter stops thrusting his arms around entirely and goes under. This time, he doesn’t come back up. Air bubbles pop to the surface to show where Peter once was.

“Shit!” Steve curses under his breath. He follows Bucky’s previous actions and strips.

How could he have been so blind!? He should’ve known better! Something was definitely wrong the moment Peter went under the water the first time. He let his guard down. Steve swore that he’d keep Peter safe. Look at what’s happened! He’s failing him!

Since the captain is the closest to the lake, Steve is already in the water swimming to where Peter disappeared. Bucky sprints off a huge boulder that’s on the shore and dives flawlessly into the water. Immediately upon impact, Bucky flinches at the harsh temperature. Peter was dealing with this the whole time?

‘I’ve already failed you once by letting you get in this situation, Peter. That’s one too many times for me. I’ll be damned if I fail you twice! I won’t let you die in such a way! Peter, please! Don’t you give in and leave us. I’m coming, Peter. Just hold on. Wait for me until I get there!’ Bucky pleads as he swims to the lake’s center.

Bucky watches as blond hair emerges and submerges in and out of the water. Steve is having no luck in locating the teen. He’s almost positive that this is where Peter went down. The water is murky and the sun is draping long and dark shadows from the trees over the lake. Visibility under water isn’t impossible, but it is proving to be a challenge when the two try to dive deep under the lake. The men will have to find Peter by blindly feeling out for him if they really can’t go by their eyes.

Steve and Bucky know that every second ticking away puts Peter closer to death. He’s sinking lower and lower into the water every time they are forced to go up for air. The spider’s body is growing colder and colder the longer he’s in this water, and spiders aren’t meant for cold environments. When the two break the surface once more to breathe, Steve notices that he’s approaching his limit. His body is getting tired, and he’s feeling lightheaded from holding his breath so many times. The blond captain can tell that Bucky’s feeling the same way too.

Bucky is refusing to slow down. His body can protest and scream all it wants, but he’s never giving up on finding Peter. After everything they’ve been through together? After all the laughs and confessions? After all the threats and pain? He’s finally opened up to someone – truly opened up. It’s not just Steve and Tony whom he wants to make happy. Bucky wants Peter to live a happy life. He wants him to only smile and laugh. He wants to give Peter the life he never got to have. Peter’s become his home, his son. He means more to Bucky than his own life. He would die for him. Peter has helped Bucky get through so much pain and damage. He’s brought so much light to the avengers. He’s the reason Bucky gets out of bed every morning and fight through another day. Peter can’t just waltz into his life and heart, make him care, and then leave like it’s nothing. He won’t allow Peter to. He will drag Peter back to that shore kicking and screaming if he has to. He will fight death with his bare hands.

‘Where are you? Where are you!? Wait for me!’ Bucky repeats over and over in his mind as he plunges into the water once more.

***

It hurts. Everything hurts. Peter can’t stay above the surface long enough to inhale oxygen. Why aren’t they coming to help him? Can’t they see that he’s struggling to stay afloat!? Do they simply not care? His clothes are adding unneeded weight to his body. He’s so so cold. Peter can’t determine if his splashes are from shivering violently or him trying to stay alive.

The brunette doesn’t have enough energy to panic when his vision starts to blur. He cannot fight the water that’s trying to devour him whole anymore. As if he slipped on something, Peter sinks under the water. This time, he doesn’t try to fight the gravity. His body descends further and further down. All Peter can do is watch helplessly as the rippling sunlight on the surface slips away from his single outstretched hand. Watch as the bubbles leaving his lips float in a direction he can’t go. The spider’s hair floats and glides around in the water like it has a mind of its own. It looks like when a drop of blood enters water and it branches out like smoke.

Peter knows that death is knocking at his door. He’s not stupid. He’s currently drowning and there’s nothing he can do about it. The only good thing about this is that Peter is no longer trembling from the cold. His whole body is numb. Even his mind, which was racing a mile a minute earlier, has calmed down significantly. He’s not as scared as he should be. It’s almost as if he’s achieved peace. If the spider could laugh bitterly he would. Who would’ve thought that the only way to make him feel at ease would be by drowning?

Something brushes against Peter’s skin. He could barely feel it due to his numb senses, but it was enough. Plants caress and fish swim around the spider’s body as if mocking him. The weeds tangle themselves around Peter, securing his fate. Now that Peter is at the lake’s bottom, the bright surface above is only a speck to him. It’s the light at the end of the tunnel that he’ll never get to. All around him is unsettling darkness. He’ll see faint shadows and movements from fish, but there’s always that underlying fear that there’s something monstrous out in the murky shadows. Peter. After was happened a year ago, who’s to say there aren’t any other kinds of mythical and supernatural beings out there? Brown eyes begin to close until they’re half open. Peter’s head is pounding at the lack of oxygen. His body is begging for it. Peter opens his mouth and that was the last strike. Water fills his mouth, and Peter releases whatever remaining air he had left.

Peter’s mind becomes shrouded in despair. Maybe this is for the best? Now Peter won’t be causing problems for anyone anymore. He won’t have to come back to the compound all beaten up and worrying his dads. Watching the merciless bloodshed and corruption of this world will be over. The spider won’t fall ill to the coppery smell of blood. His vision will no longer be surrounded by splatters of crimson and fallen corpses. He won’t feel the unforgiving guilt from not saving everyone on patrols and missions. He won’t wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying.  Peter’s mind and soul will finally be at rest from the constant anxieties his life has only known. The young teen doesn’t want to do it anymore. He can’t take being an outsider among his friends. He’s hardly a human now, but he doesn’t see himself as a full mutant either. For once, the brunette wants to be okay. Even if it’s for a fraction of a second, he wants to see the sunlight head on with unshakable confidence. Why can’t that wish be granted while he’s alive? Is it God’s sick form of a joke? Drowning may be a blessing in disguise. Peter can finally be done with all of this. Peter will get to see his parents and May and Ben again.

‘If you’re tired, then just say so. You shouldn’t be pushing yourself so hard. If your body is telling you that you need rest, then listen to it,’ Bucky’s words from last night echo in his head.

There’s are a few loud splashes from somewhere in the lake. Peter’s vision has a dark vignette around the edges as darkness is threatening to overcome him.  A figure is approaching him with erratic and desperate movements. It has eyes the color of the sky. He wouldn’t mind staying here to drown if it meant he could gaze into those cerulean orbs forever. An arm reaches out and wraps itself around Peter’s waist. It’s hard as a rock, but there’s a familiar comfort to it. Peter can feel his lips curve into a small smile. He watches how those same beautiful eyes widen in panic as Peter’s eyes close all the way. Finally, the darkness claims him.

He’s finally free.

Chapter Text

‘…er….’

‘…Pet…!’

‘…Co… n… da…..it…’

There’re voices echoing around somewhere in the abyss. Peter is curled up into a ball on the ground. He’s been here for a while now. He’s the only one in this place, or so he thought at least. While the brunette is curious about who these people are and what they’re saying, his body doesn’t seem to want to get up. The odd part about this is that it’s not because he’s exhausted. Peter feels fine, but it’s like the teen is scared to go and face something. As if he doesn’t want to remember any aspect of his life, so here he remains on the floor, ignoring the faraway voices. They persist though, never letting up. The teen curls up more into himself.

What is it? What could be making Peter act like this?

‘…ete…!’

‘…id…!’

Again, the voices are calling out. They seem to be getting louder – desperate. Peter’s body freezes up. Memories are threatening to come back to him. They’ll break him. Peter prefers staying here where he’s content and at peace with himself. The louder those voices become, however, the more his utopia is threatened to shatter and disappear forever.

“No… Go away! Go away I said! I don’t want to remember! I’m scared! I’m so scared! Please, leave me alone!” Peter cries out. “Get away from me!”

“You idiot,” a deep voice scolds.

Peter slowly looks up to see a familiar set of blue eyes. They usually have a mischievous gleam in them. Now, it’s nowhere to be found. Those cerulean orbs are glaring at Peter so intensely that he shrinks back. Peter’s never seen this man so angry before, but the teen can’t remember how he knows him. Why is he so familiar? A voice echoes in his mind, “Punk”.

Peter feels his body getting cold and clammy. He doesn’t want to remember him. He doesn’t want to remember who he is. Peter just wants to stay like this forever. The young man can’t ignore the dread washing over him. As if reading Peter’s thoughts, the man marches over to the kid. Frightened, Peter crawls away from him. For some reason, he’s moving in slow motion while the man’s walking at a normal pace. Why isn’t Peter’s body responding properly!?

“Remember,” he says annoyed. Peter continues desperately crawling away from this man. Tears start to pool up in his brown eyes. “I said remember!”

“Leave me alone!” Peter sobs.

“Remember!” He snarls.

The man’s tone is a bit harsher, and his eyes are cold. Peter is whimpering while shaking his head. He doesn’t want to.

“Remember! Why won’t you remember!?” He yells. Having enough of Peter’s crawling, the brown-haired man shoves him down on his back and pins the young spider there. “Why won’t you remember me, Peter!? Why won’t you come back to me? Back to us?” Peter’s eyes widen when tears fall on his face. This man is crying too, but why? Why is he so sad? The man looks so lonely. In that instant, the man with a metal arm looks so small and fragile.

“Why are you so afraid of who you are? Why are you so quick to accept me and everyone else with open arms but when it comes to you, you’re quick to reject yourself? What are you so scared of, huh? So what if you’re not very human-like? So what if you’re a little different? You’re still Peter, dammit! They need you. I need you. Why can’t you trust us – me – enough to protect you? Why do you believe you have to carry the world on your shoulders alone? I thought we were a team? I thought we were a family? Are you trying to insinuate that you want to leave us behind? Are we like some pet for you to throw out due to inconvenience?” The man smirks cruelly at Peter. “Ha! As if we're going to let you get away from us that easily. I’m right here in front of you! Look at me!” The man bores into Peter's eyes. “You’re not alone. I’m here. I’ll always be here for you to help carry your burdens, so please… Remember and come back. Steve is waiting for you. Tony is waiting for you. We all need you, Pete. We wouldn’t survive if you left.”

Like a switch, everything comes back to Peter. It’s like the air’s been knocked right out of him. How could he forget?

“Dad?” Peter whispers. The man smiles and disappears like a mist.

 ‘…ER… OH G…’

‘…No…pl…se…’

The voices again, but this time Peter recognizes them. It’s the family he’s grown to love so dearly. They’re crying out for him. They’re actually begging. Peter can even hear Natasha’s distressed voice.

‘Peter, dammit, don’t you give up on me!’ Bucky’s voice growls fiercely. ‘When you wake up I’m going to kill you myself!’

‘Come on, kid! I know you wouldn’t go down without a fight!’ Steve’s voice encourages.

‘Bucky, his heart stopped beating. I-‘

‘No! I’m not giving up on him! He wouldn’t give up on any one of us without giving it his all!’ Bucky snarls.

‘What are you doing, Barnes!?’ Clint shouts in alarm. ‘Quit it! You’re hurting him!’

‘Back off! I’m only doing what needs to be done!’ Bucky grunts and there’s a booming sound.

Peter feels a sharp pull in his chest. The burning in his chest from before escalates to the point that it’s unbearable. Peter’s consciousness begins to fade. He’s no longer standing in a black abyss. Instead, the teen has no concept of where he is at all. The spiderling feels unimaginable pain all throughout his body. It keeps getting worse and worse until he can’t take it anymore.

Bucky frantically swims back to shore. His foot makes contact with the bottom and struggles against the water. It’s making him move so slow! Eventually, though, he reaches dry land. He makes no hesitation to set Peter down on his back and check the kid’s condition. The brunette leans in close to listen and feel for a breath.

He’s not breathing.

Bucky battles to keep himself composed. He can’t afford to freak out and panic. If Peter has any chance to survive, then Bucky needs to concentrate and remain calm. Next, he listens for a heartbeat.

It’s there but getting faint.

While the ex-assassin is busy with checking Peter’s internal condition, Natasha is removing Peter’s clothing. The kid needs to get out of his cold and soaked garments before his condition can get any worse. Sam is quick to examine Peter’s body for any injuries he could’ve received. The only physically alarming thing that he observes is how pale yet bluish Peter’s becoming. When there are no other injuries to be found, Sam wraps Peter up in a blanket as well as several others. Everyone else gives them space but watches intensely. Steve just got off the phone with Tony. He was already on his way over the moment Steve said Peter’s hurt.

“Clint, you really may die after this,” Sam says absentmindedly.

“Shut up.” Clint sounds so guilty. It’s eating him alive. If Peter dies, it’ll be all his fault.

Steve is getting dressed but never takes his eyes off his motionless kid. His face looks so peaceful. If he didn’t know any better, he’d believe Peter was just sleeping.

Bucky tilts Peter’s head back and pinches his nose. He hovers his lips over Peter’s. He closes his eyes and breathes air into his body. Sam starts on the chest compressions. Everyone was holding their breath while the two men worked to get Peter breathing again.

Steve is so shocked how everything has gone to shit. As a man who lives in a profession where things like this happen all the time, he should be used to it. But he’s not prepared to have this happen to Peter. He’s still so young. He hasn’t lived life yet. Peter doesn’t know what life feels like. All he’s ever known is the one from Queens and the one with the Avengers. If Peter’s gone, then who will join Steve during the late hours of the night and taste his random concoctions of food? Who will look at his artwork and smile brightly after each one? Who will challenge his decisions without backing down because he really wasn’t thinking things through? If Peter’s gone, then what happens next?

Natasha’s eyes narrow as she thinks about Peter.

I thought you were going to make me one of those so called “bionicles” for me? You can’t do that if you’re dead. I don’t want just any bionicle either. Only yours. I’ve come to enjoy your company, little spider. Especially when we watch thunderstorm together. I don’t want that to be taken away from me, so please, fight to stay alive.

 With those last few thoughts, Natasha tightens her fist until it’s white. Sam’s compressions get a bit stronger.

“Come on, Peter! Breathe!” Bucky shouts before placing his lips over Peter’s again and breathing into his still form. The brunette pulls away as Sam starts another set of chest compressions. “I’m so going to kill you after this!”

“Come on, kid,” Sam encourages the young spider.

“Peter!” Clint exclaims. “If you don’t wake up then I’m going to take all of your food!”

“See, sweetie, you really need to get up now! You still need to eat something, yeah?” Steve tries to joke.

Natasha stays silent.

Sam’s actions falter before stopping.

“Hey, Sam, why’d you stop? He hasn’t come to yet!” Bucky hisses before blowing more air into Peter’s lungs.

“Buck-“

“No! Don’t you say it! He’s going to wake up! He’ll see how worried he’s made all of us and do that annoying stuttering he always does! Now start moving!” The soldier orders.

Sam knows that Bucky has sensed it too. It takes everything he has to hold back his tears. He must remain strong right now. It’s the same as it is on the battle ground. Anyone can die at any time. But…that doesn’t mean that it’s any less painful. Peter’s heart has stopped beating. Sam’s hands are shoved away and replaced by Bucky’s.

“Fine. If you won’t do it, I will!” Bucky says and continues giving Peter CPR in vain. “Peter, dammit, don’t you give up on me!” Bucky’s voice is fierce. “When you wake up I’m going to kill you myself!”

“Come on, kid! I know you wouldn’t go down without a fight! You’ve won harder fights than this. You’ve won fights against me,” Steve says. “If you let a little water take you down, what does that say about me?”

“Bucky, his heart stopped beating. I-“ Sam stops talking when he listens to himself. How dare he! How dare he give up on Peter so quickly.

“No! I’m not giving up on him! He wouldn’t give up on any one of us without giving it his all!” Bucky snarls and starts beating on Peter’s chest.

“What are you doing, Barnes!?” Clint shouts in alarm. “Quit it! You’re hurting him!”

Clint runs at Bucky, ready to slug him but the ex-assassin beats him to it. Clint is sent flying back with a loud slam of Bucky’s metal fist. A pained cry comes from Clint.

“Back off! I’m only doing what needs to be done!” Bucky grunts and puts his hands together like he’s praying and brings it down on Peter’s chest. There’s an almost hollow sound that comes from the impact. He does this over and over again, not realizing that tears have begun to stream down his face and fall on Peter’s.

“Oh Bucky…” Steve whispers, heart breaking at seeing his husband fall apart like this. So much has been taken away from Bucky already. After the Infinity War, is this really how it’s gonna end for Peter? Tears fall down his cheeks.

“Please, Peter, open your eyes!” Bucky screams.

And then, a miracle happens.

Peter’s body jerks and starts coughing up water. Whatever is emptying from his mouth is splashing back onto his face. Peter’s eyes are still closed tightly, so it startles him when firm, yet gentle hands turn Peter’s body over onto its side. An arm is locked around his waist to keep the kid held up just enough so he won’t collapse. The brunette vomits out copious amounts of bitter water over and over. Tears stream down his face from all the painful gagging and the trickle of fear that he isn’t getting enough air. A hand rubs Peter’s back, trying to soothe him through the process. Someone else is holding back his hair so it won’t get in the way.

“That’s right. Get it all out,” a gentle voice says. “I’m proud of you. You’re okay. I’m here. You’re okay.”

“You fought well, kiddo. A true member of the Avengers,” another voice praises.

The voices continue to comfort and praise Peter while his body is wracked by disgusting heaves and coughs. The boy is left panting and sucking in precious air. After most of the foreign water has left his body, Peter is wracked by violent tremors from both cold and fatigue. When it feels like Peter is about to collapse, the arm around his waist is joined by a second one. They carefully cradle him and pull Peter into a loving embrace. Peter yelps at the heat radiating from this man’s body. It’s nearly scorching. The spiderling struggles to get away from the painful heat but the man won’t let him go. His hold on Peter won’t budge. It’s when he hears a low growl from the guy that he stops his movements. Satisfied with Peter’s compliance, the arms pull Peter deeper into the hug. The person forces his trembles to die down. Peter gathers up enough strength to look up at his savior. A pair of red, puffy, cerulean eyes stares back at him.

“Dad- “ Peter is wracked by a fit of coughs. His throat feels raw and brittle.

“Shh. Don’t talk.” Bucky murmurs.

Bucky tucks Peter’s head under his chin and closes his eyes. He plays with his damp hair with one hand while holding the brunette closer with the other. He was so close to losing Peter forever. His heart stopped! If he had gotten to his kid a minute later… Bucky’s embrace tightens at the thought.

“Bucky, anymore and you’ll break and/or suffocate him,” Steve warns with a chuckle. He kneels beside his family and kisses Peter’s head. He wraps his arms around the two and revels in this sweet relief. Peter’s alive. Truly alive.

Letting out a long sigh, the blue-eyed man reluctantly pulls away to get a good look at Peter’s face. He’s pale, and his lips still have a bluish tint to them, but Peter’s cheeks are starting to get back their usual color. His kid had to have to worst luck in the world. Peter gets into more trouble than he himself. Bucky lets out a chuckle in the form of a puff of air.

“Dad?” Peter says weakly. “Pops?”

“We’re here sweetie,” Steve kisses Peter’s temple.

“I thought I told you not to talk? Why don’t you ever follow your orders?” Bucky smiles playfully. He hears some of the guys chuckling at that.

“Yeah, Spider-child! You shouldn’t be talking! Rest! You’ll be back in your warm bed in no time!” Clint chimes in. His face comes into Peter’s view.

“You scared the hell out of us. Don’t ever do that again,” Sam rubs his face.

“…Sorry,” he apologizes.

“No. Don’t apologize, Pete,” Sam says softly.

“Yeah, it’s my fault,” Clint says. “I should be the one apologizing.”

Peter’s barely able to pay attention to Clint while he’s talking. Instead, he notices that both of his dads are soaking wet.

 “Why are you two wet?” Peter asks, a little slow on the uptake.

“Isn’t it obvious? We went in to get you.” Steve chuckles and places a hand on Peter’s head. Despite being in that frigid water, his hand is so warm. It could’ve been Peter’s imagination or that pops is just cold, but the hand on his head is trembling.

“I’m sorry to have caused you all so much grief,” Peter tries to pull away from Bucky in order to apologize properly, but the brunette isn’t having any of that. He keeps Peter locked in place in his arms. Bucky even swings a leg over Peter to make sure he doesn’t leave him. This action forces Steve to pull away from the two. The blond arches a brow.

“Buck, you look and are acting like a spoiled child,” Steve chastises, but Bucky doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that he’s acting out of his usual distant character. All he cares about is Peter being alive and safe in his arms.

“Peter, how are you feeling? I didn’t see any wounds on you, but does anything hurt?” Sam asks.

“No. I don’t believe so,” Peter weakly shakes his head with a small, reassuring smile. “Well, my throat hurts a bit, and my whole body is aching.”

“Well that’s to be expected after what had just happened,” Sam gives him a smile.

“Also, my chest kind of hurts more than anything,” Peter adds. He’s rubbing over his heart absentmindedly. The colors of a forming bruise poke out from the many blankets wrapped around him. All eyes glare at Bucky. Each glare is promising different forms of death and torture to the blue-eyed man.

“Sorry,” Bucky mutters.

 “Would you like something to drink? Some tea would soothe your throat and warm you up,” Natasha breaks the tension. “Not to mention you’re probably dehydrated.”

“…”

There’s an unsettling silence from the teen. The group peers down at Peter. His eyes are closed, and his body is limp. A silent panic breaks out in the group. When they hear Peter’s breathing and see his rising chest, relief washes over them.

“So, what now?” Clint asks.

“We need to hurry and get Peter to Bruce. Tony’s on his way and should be here shortly. They’ll take over from there,” Steve answers.

“We’ll pack up our things then. We’ll leave Peter in both of your hands,” Sam gets up and pats the dirt off of him. Clint and Natasha follow his lead. The three leave the small family alone to have a moment.

“He’s okay, Bucky. You saved him,” Steve embraces his husband and sleeping son.

“We both did, but we were so close to losing him, Stevie. If I had given up, Peter would’ve…” Bucky chokes up at the thought.

“I know, Buck, I understand, but he’s going to live,” Steve can hear the familiar sound of a jet heading their way.

“Yeah, he’s going to live,” they smile down at their sleeping boy affectionately. Bucky brushes a strand of hair behind Peter’s ear. “Our job isn’t over though.”

“Will it ever be? Being a parent is a full-time job,” Steve snorts.

“No, I mean this current situation.”

“What do you mean?” Steve looks at Bucky.

“Tony is going to murder Clint unless we stop him,” Bucky points out.

“He’ll be okay. He’s an elite spy,” Steve shrugs.