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2D’s blackened eyes blinked awake as a bump on the highway shook the tour bus with a small wave of aggression. He hadn’t been able to close his eyes and doze off for too long without the night whisking him awake with fear and anxiety. Each sound, light, or shake of the road irritated his restless mind.
He turned to his side, letting his messy blue locks fold over his forehead and scatter around the pillow he laid upon. He lifted his red painted fingers to the home button of his smart phone and dizzily checked the time.
3:30 am.
In two hours Russel would be rising from his bed to make his morning coffee and stare at the early skies. Noodle would be snoring quietly in comedic rhythms. Ace would be tapping on his bass guitar learning the chords perfectly to each Gorillaz song Murdoc had left behind. Stuart would have to act like everything is okay for another elongated day touring and starlight.
He looked down at his naked chest, his nipples, bellybutton, and ribs exposed to the darkness as his blanket was wrapped around his knees and draped across to his toes. Tiny scars littered his chest and stomach. They were forever signs that someone had loved him. Someone had hurt him. Someone had been there that wasn’t just another memory to replace.
“Murdoc..” The night seemed to swallow the name and embrace it.
He could comprehend the others acceptance of their bassist’s jail leave. Noodle hadn’t forgiven him for cyborg. She was a flawed and distorted copy of her made in Murdoc’s twisted image. It had sickened her to learn she existed.
2D thought cyborg was a strong nice gal though, even if she did target practice on him sometimes.
Russel hated Murdoc secretly, or so he thought it was a secret when it was very apparent. Russel picked fights with him, hid his alcohol, and reported him to the police whenever he had the privacy to do so. Eventually, however, he realized it wasn’t worth the effort. He told 2D “ he will never change. You need to change before he changes you, you feel ?” That made 2D’s head hurt.
And for 2D…
He fingered one of the scars and sighed.
Clicking open his phone once again, he stared at the homescreen. He had many animal themed games and almost 15,000 emails he refused to check on. The background was a horribly taken picture of Murdoc and 2D. 2D had his arm wrapped upon his shoulder and Murdoc was looking away, jabbing into 2D’s side which made him shake his camera in pain.
He gave the photo a smirk that quickly turned into a frown.
“I’ll change that soon.” He muttered to himself and opened his phone call history.
30 calls had been made to Wormwood Scrubs Prison in the past month. Each time they had gotten past the main system to be redirected to an inmate, they had been denied by the warden or ignored by the inmate. 2D could only assume that Murdoc would say they didn’t try to help him. He would be brooting in his cell alone cursing 2D for not calling sooner. He would be criticizing his work on the new video and saying 2D was trying too hard. He would be…
2D’s blood boiled with the thought of it all. Never apperciative, never loving, never supportive, always Murdoc Niccals.
2D looked down at his body. He was getting so worked up, a small bump had formed under his light colored boxers. It pulsated softly.
“Why?” He groaned. Murdoc had too many ways over the singer.
His face was hot with frustration. He slid his fingers around the rim of his nipple and pinched the middle lightly. He bit his lip, digging his teeth into the skin to leave a mark.
His other hand moved slowly under his boxers. The feeling of touch on his soft penal skin made him quiver. He hadn’t been able to release the sexual tension he had felt inside ever since Murdoc had left, but Noodle was laying under his bunk. It just felt...not so right.
“What the hell are ya doing?” Ace grumbled sleepily from the bunk across his.
2D looked over. The green man was staring at him judgingly with eyes slit from exhaustion. He was looking at 2D’s sexual posture and hand slipped inside his boxers.
2D’s blush turned from anger to embarrassment.
“Noffing!” He squealed, moving his hands up from his body and setting them up into the air, punching the roof of his bunk and wincing in pain.
Ace gave 2D an awkward smile repressing an even more awkward laugh.
“ Sono sawagi wa nanidatta no ?!” Noodle’s voice emitted from under 2D’s side.
“The boy is jacking it off right here!” Ace yelled back, throwing a pillow at 2D to cover the outline of his erection.
“N-no!” 2D cried. He hid his face into his pillow and grabbed the blanket falling off his bunk to wrap around himself.
“Now he is becoming a pathetic burrito.” Ace laughed.
“Go to the bathroom at least, geezus 2D.” Noodle rubbed her eyes with her palms and kicked the top bunk repeatedly.
“What’s going on?” A sleepy voice joined the ruckus. Russel was turned over looking around the room in a daze.
“Did we hit someone again?”
“2D doesn’t know ‘when’.” Noodle replied. She stood up and straightened her Hello Kinky tank top. “I need to pee. Sorry, 2D. You can’t finish your business yet.”
Russel blinked his wide white eyes as the statement sank in. Once the realization hit him, he made a disgusted noise. “Get a room, man.”
2D was babbling to defend himself. “I just had an itch is all! An itch!”
“Mhm.” Russel sarcastically replied. “It ain’t even 5 am and I already gotta deal with your bullshit.”
2D sighed and looked over at Ace. Ace was scrolling through twitter with his phone over his face. He glanced back for a second before going back to his phone.
He will never be Murdoc . 2D thought.
He will never be him .
Noodle walked out of the bathroom scratching the back of her head, running her fingers through her messy thick hair.
“Get a load of this, Noods. People are already talking about the concert that will happen tonight!” Ace ecstatically shouted to her.
“That’s what happens when we are rockstars.” she smiled at him and walked over to see the posts from his screen.
“Let me take a look.” Russel stretched as he stood up to look as well. They all huddled to the right side of the bus to see the fans supportive messages and excitement.
“This one is talking about how cute Russel looks.” Noodle gave Russel finger guns. “She is cute too!”
“You know I am more of a lone wolf, girl.” Russel chuckled.
“They love me, guys.” Ace was beaming with joy.
2D turned his back to them all, his black eyes emptily staring at the wall. He felt like their world could go on so easily, but 2D was stuck in a limbo. If Murdoc were here, he would be talking to 2D about how silly they are. He would be swigging out of a whisky bottle and muttering to 2D about his random 3 am thoughts.
2D gripped his blanket.
“I am going back to sleep.”