Chapter Text
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Seokjin asks for what feels like the hundredth time that day, Jeongguk just nods. He isn’t sure, actually, because if he’s honest he hasn’t been okay for a while, but it has become a part of his everyday-life now to feel like that; feeling slightly incomplete , a little lonely and sad almost all the time. It’s stupid, maybe, he feels pathetic, but he can’t help it. Turning away from his older friend, he lazily pulls his coat back on, grabs his black beanie as well and places it over his dark pink hair. The colour has already faded a little, but Jeongguk is grateful for Seokjin happily dyeing it for him a while ago. “I’ll be fine, hyung, okay?” Jeongguk says, turning back to Seokjin who has a very concerned and worried look in his eyes.
It makes him feel guilty, the look Seokjin is giving him. Jeongguk hates how he’s the one heaving Seokjin down with his own, personal struggles when the older surely already has other things to focus on. All he feels like is a bother, perhaps a nuisance even, only in the way of the people he’s ever cared about. He only has Seokjin left, Jeongguk can’t handle losing him as well, so instead of being honest and shaking his head, he lets out a perfect, simple lie. I’ll be fine. I’m okay. Don’t worry. I’ll be okay on my own. No, Jeongguk won’t be okay on his own, but he refuses to bother Seokjin with this anymore. He’s thankful for the help, feeling indescribably happy to finally be free from the man who’s ruined his life for years now, all thanks to Seokjin for always being there. But Jeongguk doesn’t want to open up about his problems anymore, knowing they’ll not only cause problems for him, but also for Seokjin, one way or another.
“Okay, Guk. I know. I can’t help but worry though, you know I can’t.” Jeongguk forces a smile at that, very strained, appearing to seem thankful, when he really just blames himself more at that. But Seokjin shouldn’t know about that. Why wouldn’t everything be Jeongguk’s fault anyways? He’s the one always struggling, always having an aching heart and was the one always showing up with new bruises and wounds on his body. But that man is gone, it only took three years of his twenty year long life to get rid of him. But, better now than never, Jeongguk tries to think. He’s not too good at being positive, but fairly enough, he tries his best.
Nodding, Jeongguk is about to leave Seokjin’s apartment, spinning around and placing his hand on the door handle but isn’t able to open the door before Seokjin has turned him back around and pulled him into a tight hug. It takes everything in Jeongguk not to start crying (again), but he manages, holds the tears in and only hugs his hyung back just as tight, showing him that yes hyung, I am thankful, I’m sorry for not being able to show it properly to you, but I really am. Jeongguk has never been good with words, he hopes his actions speak louder than anything he’s ever said.
“T-thank you,” he stutters out, avoiding eye contact as they pull away. “Really, for everything.” Seokjin’s eyes are fond, softening as he squeezes Jeongguk’s shoulder lightly. “Don’t thank me, Guk. I’m always here for you, he’s gone, you’ll be fine.”
With that, Jeongguk smiles again, a small, genuine smile this time, before exiting the apartment. As soon as the door is closed and he has begun walking, turning a corner, the tears that were burning come out and silently roll down his cold cheeks. People don’t bother giving him a second glance as he passes them on the street, despite his occasional sniffling and tear streaks evident on his pale skin, the tip of his nose tinted red from tears but also from the cold morning that September has brought. He’s not sure if he’s thankful for his crying to go by unnoticed, or if he should feel upset that no one cares enough to ask him what’s wrong. But, he’s used to it now, isn’t he? People usually don’t care about him, why make this moment different?
Only fifteen minutes of fast walking later, Jeongguk has arrived outside of the apartment building Seokjin helped him move into a week ago and after another minute of walking up a few floors of stairs he’s outside his door, quickly unlocking it as he hears some other people walking up the stairs. Interacting with others is a big no. Being kicked out by his own parents had made a huge impact on Jeongguk, who at the time had been a confused fifteen year old that had no idea why his parents didn’t accept him. Thankfully, he had his only source of safety - Seokjin, who lived in Seoul (still does), and Jeongguk is eternally grateful for being able to live there for two whole years. The other three years are a completely different story, but this is a new start for Jeongguk but he’s not planning on doing much. Hopefully find a better job, though Seokjin still helps him pay this apartment for a while. Jeongguk won’t let the older do it for long, he doesn’t want to be dependent on his older friend so much.
Still being in college (which he miraculously had gotten into despite some years in high school not being his best), finding a job that will pay him enough is hard. Jeongguk isn’t one to easily be determined about things, but finding a proper job is one of his very few goals.
It’s when he hears voices that he’s quick to close the door, lock it again and then lean his forehead against it, taking a deep breath. Some tears are still falling, but he’s not sniffling, he feels calm now. At least a lot calmer than before. It’s when he feels something push slightly against his foot that he snaps out of his sad moment and glances down, a smile immediately making a way to his teary face as he sees Oliver, looking up at him with such an innocent look, wondering why his owner is in a sad mood.
Jeongguk quickly kneels down to pick the cat up, holding him close before leaving a little kiss on his head. “Hi Oliver, sorry for being away so long,” he says, voice suddenly becoming way more childish than before, but he doesn’t care. He always has conversations like this with his lovely cat. Or, as Jeongguk likes to say: his best friend. Don’t judge him, Oliver knows more about him than Jeongguk does himself.
Five years ago, when Jeongguk was kicked out, after begging a lot, he managed to get Oliver with him. Not that his parents would have wanted the cat anyways. It’s always been his cat, after all, and for a while it had just been the two of them. Thankfully, when Jeongguk moved in with Seokjin it had been no struggle to let Oliver tag along, though that was different when he met the man he preferably doesn’t mention. Everything was okay now, though. Oliver is happy, Jeongguk isn’t, but he feels better knowing Oliver is feeling okay. He’s almost everything Jeongguk has, after all.
xxx
When Taehyung gets out of his office, he checks the time and realises he’s been there for three more hours than he should have. No wonder his brain decided to stop working all of a sudden. Yawning, he enters the elevator and presses the button, barely noticing the door closing and a minute later opening. Stepping out, he also notices he’s almost the only one left in the building, a few more offices seemingly occupied, lights still turned on and low voices most likely speaking to someone on the phone about some business or another article that didn’t go as well as expected.
Working as a journalist is very fun, it’s what Taehyung has always wanted, and thankfully he has a little side-job for his own (and a few of his friends’) articles at times where he has to take photos. He didn’t study both journalism and photography in college for nothing. But, working as a journalist also means having a couple of these nights almost every week. Definitely when he’s one of the best writers on his entire team, his boss loves him most of the time. Taehyung writes about everything, one day he can write about some celebrity gossip, another day he writes a shorter article about politics and sometimes he’s free to choose whatever he want. That’s what he loves the most. Sometimes reviews of movies or books he’s read (of course, with permission from his boss first), and sometimes his job is just to take photos for his co-workers’ articles. It’s fun, though Taehyung does admit that he sometimes misses the part where creative writing was a thing back in college.
Shaking his head, he realises how he randomly stopped walking, his thinking taking too much power of his sleep-deprived body. Fortunately for him, he lives a short ten minute walk from where his office is located. And those ten minutes go by fairly quick tonight, despite Taehyung being tired. The streets are almost empty, a few other people probably finishing the closing shifts at their own jobs, or like Taehyung, maybe they forgot about the time.
It’s eleven pm when Taehyung finally enters his apartment, not being greeted by his two dogs. They’re probably asleep at this time, they’re quite lazy, if Taehyung says so himself. He’s about to take his shoes off when he realises he forgot to check the mailbox that is right at the entrance of the building. Groaning, he knows he can do it tomorrow morning but he won’t remember. So, dreading it, he still tells himself it’s good to have it done so he hangs his coat on hook on the wall before walking out again, down the few staircases before approaching the mailboxes, then he searches for his name, unlocks it and pulls out a few envelopes. Probably just rent and other adult things he has to pay for, very exciting. It doesn’t take more than thirty seconds to grab all papers, close the mailbox, lock it and then begin his walk up again. On the way, he passes two of his neighbours. There’s nothing new about people here staying up late, so Taehyung doesn’t mind the two, only greeting them with a nod because for some reason everyone here knows everyone.
Though, as he has passed them he catches a little part of their conversation.
“Yeah? The guy in 4B? He’s weird. I tried to introduce myself a few days ago, you know, as a nice neighbour I want him to feel welcomed here,” the guy Taehyung forgot the name of says, was it Woojin maybe? Taehyung slows his steps slightly, pretending to look through the papers in his hands as he listens a little more. “He just ignored me, you know? That was rude, I understand if he’s shy but he could’ve just nodded at me or something.” Then the other guy speaks up, but Taehyung has no idea what his name could be. “Yeah, I tried greeting him yesterday because I met him at the entrance but he just gave me this weird look before rushing off. Wonder if I frightened him.” He says jokingly, and the two chuckle, Taehyung decides he’s heard enough.
A new neighbour? In apartment 4B? Interesting. He’s always loved befriending people, but can the guy really be that bad? Maybe he’s just really shy? Taehyung admits that he doesn’t like how the two were speaking of the guy, but he also can’t say they’re wrong because Taehyung has yet to meet him. But, oh well, he has befriended “rude” people before, this won’t be much of a challenge.
Taehyung is confident when he
finally
lays down in bed that night, being too exhausted to even take a shower. He decides that he’ll try to talk with the new guy within the upcoming days, wishing to bump into him in the morning or later at night when his shift has finished. But what Taehyung doesn’t know is that Jeongguk doesn’t let anyone break his walls. After these past three years, the pink-haired boy doesn’t trust anyone but his cat and Seokjin. It’ll be a challenge, but that is something Taehyung has yet to discover.