Chapter Text
She was there again. That burning room. Blake lay prone on the floor with that monster standing above her. Fear and panic consumed her. She had to save her. He was going to kill her, she had to get to her NOW!
But as she leaped, she knew what was coming. What always came. The flash. The burning pain. That disgusting grin. Then the fall. But unlike that night, and like every night since, she wasn't given the benefit of unconsciousness. She could only lay there, useless and unable to move, forced to watch him step towards Blake and finish what he started.
She tried to scream, to move, to do anything, but she was frozen. Her body wouldn't budge. She couldn't even look away as he brought down his blade. Slowly he turned to face her, and though she could not see his eyes behind the mask, she could feel his monstrous gaze. She knew what came next. He stood before her and lifted his blade high, she could only watch as he brought it down to-
Yang's eyes flew open as she bolted upright, her heart beating as if trying to escape her chest. Tears were already falling as she instinctively reached with both hands to grab her pillow, only to fall short and almost drop it. Pulling it to her face, she let out a muffled scream. Pain seared through where her right arm should be, and she reached her left hand around the pillow in her face to grasp tightly to what was left. She hated this. Hated these constant nightmares, hated this pain, hated the overwhelming fear. But most of all, she hated her own uselessness.
Terrified and worthless, it's no wonder everyone always left her. Why shouldn't they? Especially now, when she couldn't even fight. The thing she prided herself in most, and now it was gone. Yang Xiao Long was a fighter, and a damn good one. But the frightened girl who sat here now was just a cripple. Useless and afraid.
And so she cried. Softly as she could, she sobbed into her pillow wishing she could just disappear.
However, she was soon interrupted by a soft whine. Raising her head, she could make out a fluffy black and white shape through the darkness and tears. Zwei looked at her with worried eyes, standing on his hind legs with his front paws on her bed. He whined again before leaping into the bed and pressing as close to her side as possible with his face in her lap. Looking back up, he continued to gaze at her, his eyes filled with concern.
Setting down her pillow behind her, Yang started to pet him with her remaining hand. As she did, she began to whisper.
"Why won't it go away, Zwei? Why can't I just sleep?"
Still whispering, her voice took on a harder tone.
"I'm so sick of it, all of it. Sick of being left behind, sick of being afraid, sick of being useless."
She hiccuped, hand ceasing its movement to rest on her other knee. Yang bowed her head, scrunching her eyes tight in a useless attempt to stave off the tears. Finally, voice almost inaudible, she choked out,
"I don't even know who I am anymore."
Zwei whined again, licking her hand before pressing his nose against it. He moved forward, pressing more of his body against her front as if to assure her he was there. Yang wrapped her arm around him and held him close, crying softly into his neck.
The two stayed like that for what felt like hours, until at last the tears slowed to a stop and they both drifted off into a quiet sleep.