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Jeno doesn’t mind that idol life gets in the way of him experiencing things that a normal teenager would.
He doesn’t mind that he doesn’t get to make friends with people who aren’t also celebrities or public figures; he doesn’t get to go out in public without having to conduct himself in the way an idol should, even when circumstances are difficult and unfair; he doesn’t get to delve into any teenage rebellion when he works a full-time job as part of NCT and the other members rely on him just as much as he relies on them.
He really doesn’t mind, not when he has something special that he would never have had outside of his current way of living.
Specifically, he’s found love.
In his hectic, high-pressure idol life, Jeno’s found love, and he’ll gladly take that over a normal, steady life where he gets to try out for a school sports team or meet up with friends at the arcade.
Jeno finishes his skincare routine, washing his hands and wiping them on the towel hanging on the wall. He crosses the hallway and enters his room, stretching his arms above his head as he approaches the bed that isn’t his.
Curled up in the blankets cozily is Jeno’s love, and Jeno thinks Renjun’s the cutest thing he’s seen in his whole life.
At least, his hair is.
Tufts of Renjun’s dark hair peek out over the covers—the only visible part of him—and Jeno carefully takes a seat on Renjun’s bed, making sure to not jostle him.
It’s time to wake up—they have to leave for a schedule in less than an hour—but Jeno doesn’t want to give Renjun a rude awakening when he’s snuggled up so comfortably the way he is.
He reaches over and gently strokes his boyfriend’s soft hair, loving how fluffy it is against his fingers. He tugs the layers of blankets down enough to reveal Renjun’s pretty face, and his eyes linger on how Renjun’s lips are pressed into his natural pout.
Jeno stares adoringly, and he just can’t resist leaving a kiss on his boyfriend’s nose.
Renjun scrunches his nose cutely, and Jeno is thankful no one’s around to see him coo like a weirdo.
Renjun’s face goes back to neutral, and Jeno pulls the blankets down further so he can rub his boyfriend’s tummy to wake him up.
“C’mon, baby,” he whispers quietly, “You gotta wake up now, before Jisung takes the shower first, right?”
Renjun lets out a small grumble, and Jeno knows he’s awake when his delicate eyebrows furrow and he cracks open his eyes to stare at Jeno unhappily.
“Morning, love.”
“Mrff.”
“This is what you get for staying up so late with Chenle and Ten hyung last night,” Jeno says with his eyebrows raised.
“The finale was disappointing,” Renjun mutters raspily in response, “Two of my picks didn’t make it.”
He closes his eyes like a disappointed father who’s just found out his son is quitting basketball to pursue a career in singing—that’s a little specific, but Jeno thinks it really captures his essence.
Renjun tuts in disdain, and Jeno rolls his eyes.
He’s still rubbing circles on Renjun’s stomach, and his boyfriend blindly reaches a hand to hold his before turning his back on Jeno and forcing Jeno to maneuver his body to follow along with him.
“Wait—Junnie, no—”
Jeno finds himself awkwardly spooning his devious boyfriend, and he sighs because he should know better by now.
Renjun giggles with satisfaction, and he scoots backwards to be more comfortable despite his nice bundle of blankets. In Renjun’s opinion, nothing compares to being cuddled up to Jeno.
“Five more minutes? Please?” Renjun asks sweetly as if he doesn’t already know the answer.
With his outward appearance, Renjun may seem like some kind of innocent fairy-angel, especially with his “Pure Boy” nickname, but under those deceiving looks is someone that can rival Donghyuck in terms of mischievousness and cunning.
Jeno had known what he was getting into when he’d fallen in love, but he’d never anticipated how whipped he’d be or how well Renjun would use it to his advantage.
Jeno sighs again, and after pulling the blankets over himself and adjusting his position, he nods into Renjun’s hair, tightening his arm snugly around his boyfriend’s waist.
“Fine, five minutes only.”
It’s not five minutes, and they have to scramble to get ready when Jaemin smacks them awake half an hour later (or at least, Jeno gets smacked awake—Renjun gets a gentle shake and a pat on the head).
“Hyung’s taking orders for what we wanna eat, guys. Pick out what you want, tell me, and I’ll text them all to him,” Mark announces to everyone sitting around the table. “He’s going to that place with the weird artisan sandwiches.”
Everyone groans, and they pull up the menu on their phones. Their manager’s been on some kind of spiritual food journey lately (a weak version of a midlife crisis, Donghyuck diagnosed generously), and by extension, so has NCT Dream.
Jeno opens the menu up in Safari, resting his elbows on the table. He scrolls through looking for the lunch menu, and when he does, he leans toward his boyfriend slightly and says, “Here, babe.”
“Hm?” Renjun answers sleepily. He leans forward, his head close to Jeno’s, and looks at the bright screen blearily.
Jeno scrolls slowly, making sure his boyfriend can see.
Renjun doesn’t really seem to see anything he wants, and he puffs out his cheeks in what Jeno knows is dissatisfaction. Jeno’s also aware of how tired he is—how tired everyone in the room is, actually—and he coos internally as his boyfriend lays his head on Jeno’s arm, resting there with a pout that grows the more he peruses their food options.
Jeno doesn’t blame him.
The lunch menu isn’t exactly what anyone in NCT likes to eat—it’s composed mainly of quinoa-based sandwiches that include repulsive combinations of cheeses and fruits along with a questionable selection of meat. There are other items, of course, but no one in the team is willing to try anything from the lavender-infused mushroom burger series that occupies the banner at the top of the home page. Not even their manager is that brave.
Still, they need to eat something, so Jeno scans the options diligently before realizing that his boyfriend is dozing off.
“Hey, no sleeping, baby,” Jeno raises his shoulder gently, nudging Renjun as lightly as possible.
“I’m not hungry,” Renjun mumbles sullenly, refusing to move his head.
“You will be in an hour or two when hyung gets back,” Jeno says quietly, knowing his boyfriend well.
Renjun blinks up at him sadly, his expression pitiful and fully intended to activate Jeno’s whippedness.
“Come on, we’ll both order something, and if you don’t like yours you can have mine, okay?” Jeno suggests, resting his own head on Renjun’s to escape those eyes.
He feels his boyfriend nod, and he smiles and presses a kiss to Renjun’s soft hair.
“And if we really don’t like it, we can go out after we’re done for today and eat something else, okay?” Jeno adds in a conspiratorial whisper.
Renjun laughs softly and hums in agreement.
When their manager returns hours later with a surprise quart of seasonal organic avocado yak milk soup, Jeno and Renjun look at each other and silently agree to go out afterward as Jaemin squawks that he’s lactose intolerant and definitely cannot have the soup.
Practice always ends late at night, especially when they’re gearing up for a comeback, so Jeno had expected it to be chilly when they’d finally finished.
It seems like Renjun hadn’t, however, and Jeno eyes his boyfriend who’s leaning against the wall and talking to Chenle in just a short-sleeved shirt.
Everyone else is appropriately bundled up and ready to face the strong winds of Seoul after dark, but Renjun just stands there in his thin clothing without a care in the world.
As his loving boyfriend, Jeno can’t let Renjun get sick, especially not now, so he sets his bag on the floor and pulls his hoodie over his head.
He ignores Jisung’s wiggling eyebrows to shake out his mussed up hair and adjust the long sleeves of the shirt he has on. He hoists his bag back onto his shoulder, and he lightly smacks Jisung’s arm as he makes his move.
Hoodie in hand, Jeno weaves around the other members to reach Renjun and Chenle who are standing by the door.
He steps forward and hands it to Renjun who pauses mid-conversation to instinctively reach out to receive what Jeno’s giving him.
Upon realizing what it is, he looks to Jeno questioningly, and Jeno replies, “Take it. I don’t want you getting sick.”
“Oh, no—but you’ll get sick too—” Renjun protests.
“I’ll be fine,” Jeno reassures him, holding out his clothed arms for his boyfriend to see. “And I’d rather have me sick than you sick,” he adds on with the smile that he knows Renjun loves.
Renjun blushes prettily as the other Dream members—whose attention must have been drawn by Jeno moving past them—start whooping because of how smooth Jeno was, and Jeno turns bright red.
Teasingly, Chenle starts chanting, “Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him!”
The other members join in, and Renjun shyly pecks Jeno on the cheek (because a kiss on the lips is risky outside of the dorms, even within the safety of the SM building). The members let out a round of cheers, and the flustered couple breaks into laughter at their antics.
Their manager has yet to return with the car, so Renjun unhurriedly slips on the hoodie. When he sticks his arms through, his small hands cannot be seen, and Jeno chuckles before helping him push the sleeves back. He also gets to hold Renjun hands because of this, but that’s not the point.
Jeno adores seeing Renjun in his clothes, especially his hoodies, because he looks extra tiny.
Renjun giggles as he fixes his hair, adorably stretching his arms out as he struggles with his sweater paws.
Jeno thinks he’s falling deeper in love when Renjun looks at him, eyes twinkling and face flushed, and gives him another peck on the cheek, whispering, “Thanks, Jeno.”
Airports are always hectic, and when their flights require them to use a subway to reach their assigned gates, airports become a little more hectic.
It’s particularly warm in Osaka, and trying to make their way through a crowd that constricts around them with every passing second makes the trip quite unpleasant.
The Dream members—sans Mark, Jaemin, and Jisung—file into the subway car once it arrives, following the flow of people getting on. They end up standing just below the handles along the center of the car, and it’s pretty packed inside.
From the corner of his eye, Jeno notices that fans with cameras have also entered the car, and he really hopes that they behave and don’t disturb the other passengers.
The doors close, and the air inside the car gets even warmer, a thick layer of humidity settling over the inhabitants.
Jeno sighs.
Being in a hot, crowded subway makes him a little grumpy, but there is one good thing about it: Jeno has an excuse to be clingy with Renjun.
Conveniently, Jeno is standing right beside him, and his boyfriend gives him a tired smile when their eyes meet.
They’ve been performing at SMTOWN Osaka for the past three days, and they haven’t really had the chance to spend time together privately—Renjun had roomed with Lucas while Jeno had roomed with Chenle and Jisung—so Jeno’s been missing his boyfriend a lot. For three nights in a row, the two youngest had laughed and called him a whipped sap when he’d whined about how much he missed Renjun.
As the subway starts to move, Renjun reaches up to hold the handle overhead, and Jeno sees his chance to finally have some skinship with his boyfriend. He shuffles closer to Renjun and happily rests his chin in the crook of his boyfriend’s elbow.
Renjun scoffs amusedly, and Jeno grins in response, suddenly feeling so much better about the heat and the crowded subway.
His hands settle on Renjun’s waist, and he holds the other boy securely. The subway jostles them around a few times, but Jeno keeps his hands on Renjun with his feet planted firmly on the floor to maintain balance.
Throughout the ride, Jeno can’t stop smiling, immensely satisfied with himself.
“You look like that smug cat meme,” Renjun laughs, finally smiling with his teeth showing.
When Chenle and Donghyuck take note of what they’re doing, they do what they do best, and Donghyuck places his chin on Chenle’s arm, blinking his eyes and fluttering his lashes teasingly while Chenle swoons in exaggeration.
Renjun rolls his eyes and smacks them, taking pleasure in their cries of pain.
As the subway arrives at the gates and people make for the exit, Renjun releases the handle and turns to the doors, subsequently cutting contact with Jeno.
Jeno pouts, missing his boyfriend already, but he finds himself giddy with happiness when he feels a small hand reach back and trail down his arm to squeeze his hand.
He squeezes back, and Renjun lets go to follow Donghyuck, Chenle, and their manager off the car.
Dream has the rest of the day off after a gruelling, six-hour practice, but all the members are too tired to go out.
Without any upcoming schedules, they have no obligations, so Jeno’s content to just laze around with his boyfriend.
He’s sprawled on the couch, and on his chest lies Renjun, who has been blinking dazedly at the television for almost an hour.
Through the window, sunlight gently filters into the room, and Jeno can see all the dust particles floating through the air.
A peaceful kind of atmosphere has settled over them in the living room, and Jeno feels like the afternoon haze is lulling him into a trance.
A while later, Jeno’s rubbing circles into his boyfriend’s back while Renjun hums contentedly. Jeno kisses Renjun’s head and gets a little pat on his chest in return.
Jaemin comes out and plops down on the floor in front of the couch, offering the two popcorn.
Renjun shakes his head, but Jeno just opens his mouth and lets Jaemin feed him, unwilling to stop rubbing Renjun's back.
At this point, they’ve reached a lull in their day that will most likely last until dinner, and the three just sit there watching whatever the television plays.
Chenle and Jisung join after they finish playing their computer games, and together, they all watch some tragic historical drama.
Everyone is asleep by the time the manager enters the dorm with dinner, and he shakes his head fondly and takes a picture of how they’re all scattered around before waking them up.
Renjun and Ten always watch movies together at the Dream dorm, and Jeno’s not surprised when he comes home from the gym to hear Ten’s voice coming from the living room.
He is surprised, however, when he walks in and is greeted by his boyfriend and hyung sobbing into each other's arms on the couch. They’re surrounded by tissues, and the coffee table is covered in an array of snacks and bubble tea drinks.
“Jeno,” Renjun whimpers when he sees him, holding his arms out for a hug.
His face is stained with tears and red from crying, and Jeno’s a little reluctant to comply because he knows that mess will be on his shirt if he does hug him.
Renjun’s brows furrow at his hesitance, and Jeno quickly steps forward when Renjun’s teary eyes get a little tearier.
He wraps his arms around his boyfriend, letting Renjun bury his face in his chest to cry.
When he tries to pull away, he finds that Renjun won’t let him, and he sighs before taking a seat on the couch next to his distraught boyfriend.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Jeno shushes, rubbing Renjun’s small back.
“No, it’s not!” Renjun wails, and without separating himself from Jeno, he maneuvers his way into Jeno’s lap, his face now buried in Jeno’s neck.
“Uh—okay, what happened?” Jeno asks, holding Renjun close and looking to Ten for assistance.
Ten isn’t much help because he only blurbs out a non-Korean word before breaking out into another round of tears.
Jeno hands him a tissue, and Ten smacks him thankfully.
After a few minutes, the two manage to brokenly tell him about the movie they just watched, babbling out random names that don’t mean anything to Jeno and going through the whole box of tissues in the process.
He does understand some of their blubbering, and what he gathers is that the movie was about a guy who raises his friends’ kid after they pass away.
It doesn’t sound too sad to Jeno, but if it has Ten crying the way he is then he’s gotta give it some credit.
It takes a while for the two to calm down, and Jeno wonders if it’s inappropriate to laugh because their faces are horribly puffy and red and both can’t seem to stop sniffling.
In Jeno’s opinion, Ten looks like a total mess, but Renjun still looks cute, even if he’s been using Jeno’s shirt to blow his nose for the past twenty minutes.
When the clock strikes eleven, Ten cleans up all the tissues and food and scooches off the couch to return to his own dorm.
Jeno would have helped, but he’s busy rocking Renjun to sleep after he finally stopped crying.
Jeno waves goodbye to Ten and carefully eases himself into a standing position with his boyfriend in his arms. Renjun’s flushed face is smushed against Jeno’s shoulder adorably, and Jeno kisses his forehead before heading toward their room.
He uses Renjun’s socked feet to turn off the lights, and he laughs when Renjun whines in his sleep and kicks at the wall.
Jeno deposits Renjun in his bed, tucking him in securely and putting Moomin on watch duty before heading to the bathroom to do his night routine.
Afterward, he returns with a wet towel to clean his boyfriend’s face, and as he does, Renjun blinks up at him sleepily, roused from his slumber.
“If we ever have a kid, I want Jaemin to be the godfather,” he declares groggily.
Jeno blinks, and he wonders if his beloved reached this conclusion while Jeno was in the bathroom.
Renjun looks at him expectantly as Jeno rubs the warm towel against his cheeks, and Jeno realizes that he’s seriously awaiting a response.
“Uhm, sure, I guess? Anything you want, Junnie,” Jeno says, hoping that’s the right answer to an odd statement.
Thankfully, it is, and Renjun breaks into a satisfied smile.
He reaches up and grabs Jeno’s shirt, pulling him in for a kiss that Jeno’s been waiting for ever since he got home.
“I love you,” Renjun whispers against his lips, laughing as Jeno nuzzles their noses together.
Jeno takes a second to commit this moment to memory, and Renjun tilts his head and looks up at him as if he’s doing the same.
“I love you more,” Jeno finally responds before stealing another kiss.
In the fast-paced life of an idol, there isn’t much stillness to be found in the constantly moving waves of the ocean that is the industry.
That’s okay, Jeno doesn’t mind.
He doesn’t want to be still—if he did, he’d be on land with those whose lives take place worlds away from the ocean.
Instead, he wants to ride the waves and see where they take him.
He won’t do it on his own, though.
As a member of NCT, he’ll never be alone, and because he’s found love, he’ll never be lonely.
Of all the sea creatures that live in the ocean, there’s a special cluster of them that make up NCT, limitless and far-reaching, but a family nonetheless.
In that special gathering, Jeno and Renjun are like a pair of otters, holding hands and anchoring themselves to one another as the waves take them all to new heights.
Out in the ocean, he might not get to join the soccer team or try his hand at an arcade machine with classmates, but Jeno doesn’t mind.
He’ll take the love he has over anything else in the world.
The chance that his life would take the path it has is one in a million, and Jeno thinks it’s like catching lightning.
He’ll take it and go far.
---
Bonus:
Jeno knows he’s being pathetic. He knows and he doesn’t care.
It’s his third hour of moping, and with every hour he’s gained a companion on the Couch of Depression.
“Are Dumb and Dumber still on the couch?” Donghyuck’s voice can be heard from the speaker of their manager’s phone.
“Yep. Make that Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest, actually,” their traitorous manager replies.
He’s finally kicked the wretched food journey, and now he’s at the dinner table going to town on the leftover pizza from last night. The way he sits reminds Jeno of a 14th century monarch.
Jeno sniffs indignantly at the conversation, but he turns his attention back to the television screen.
Next to him, Jisung reaches for the remote and turns the volume up, blocking out the sound of Donghyuck roasting them.
Jaemin sighs when the video ends, and he passes the PS4 controller to Jeno because it’s his turn.
Exiting the video, Jeno goes to the search bar and types in “Renjun fancam” with as much dignity as possible.
He selects a fancam from SMTOWN Dubai, and he sighs sadly when there’s an ad.
He sighs even more sadly when the video buffers after the ad.
When it finally loads, the fancam is fantastic, majestic, stunning, and overall a cinematic masterpiece.
It—and Jeno’s joy—only lasts a little over four minutes, however, and Jeno’s shoulders slump as he hands the controller over to Jisung.
This is how it’s been going for the past few hours. They had come home from tap dancing class, Jeno had miserably taken a seat on the couch with the controller in hand, and the rest is history.
Jisung goes to the search bar and types in “Chenle fancam” with the same amount of composure as Jeno.
He selects a fancam from their “My First and Last” days, and they don’t have to turn around to know that their manager is judging them.
“Excellent choice,” Jaemin mutters while nodding.
“You know they’re coming back, right?” their manager asks exasperatedly.
The three turn around and ask, “When?” in sync.
Jeno would say jinx, but he’s too miserable to jinx anyone and that seems to be the case for the other two as well.
Their manager blinks at them then checks his phone. “In a few hours,” he estimates.
The trio on the couch groan, and Jeno tries not to cry when he hears Renjun’s voice in the background of Chenle’s fancam.
The two have been away all day making preparations for the informally named NCT China unit, and Jeno hadn’t woken up in time to see them off in the morning. No one can know this, but he may have shed a tear when he’d found out.
True to their manager’s word, the front door opens a few hours later, and Chenle and Renjun enter to the sound of an SMTOWN Osaka fancam of “We Young” blasting throughout the entire dorm.
“Guys, what the hell!” Renjun shouts, covering his ears.
Jeno perks up at the sound of his voice, and he launches himself over the back of the couch to sprint to his boyfriend.
“Oh, thank god you’re back. They’ve been at this for seven hours,” their manager groans from where he’s devouring all of the rice in the dorm.