Chapter Text
You can read the fic below, but the full podfic is all here:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1u7knu1o4_v7C4nfwXi54og3Tyk8uDwKJ/view?usp=drive_link where you can download the mp3 podcast. It's Google Drive so it's either a download or a streaming option. (35 min, 53 sec)
Note that the songs used throughout the podfic are "7 Years" by Lukas Graham and "Sober" by Demi Lovato.
Chapter 1: It's a Big Big World
Justify the Means
Things are supposed to be simple when you’re 13. At least, that’s what people say. They complain about adulthood and opine about wishing to be young again. As far as Jude is concerned though, he’d take being an adult over this any day. To be fair, his life thus far has been more complicated than the average life, but he kind of thought he might get the dream childhood once he’d been adopted.
He loves the Fosters and they love him, but things have not been the fantasy he had hoped for.
Jude assumes this is how he got to where he is now. Agreeing to sneak into Taylor’s house, to drink alcohol Jude has no interest in, and probably watch Connor makeout with Daria. Not exactly his ideal evening adventure when he: 1. Has never drank before and has absolutely no interest in it. 2. Is definitely in love with Connor and does not want to see him make out with Daria. 3. Is kind of terrified of getting caught. And 4. Is kind of pissed at Connor for making out with him behind closed doors while still insisting on being with Daria in public.
That doesn’t stop him from going, though. The only thing worse than going is not going. Plus, the way Connor had looked at him when he said “get drunk and make out” had fanned the hopeful flames in Jude’s heart. Kissing Connor was… everything.
So they sneak into the house, all of them tramping in way louder than Jude is comfortable with, and Daria finds bourbon. To Jude’s dismay, Connor drinks it. And then to make matters worse, he passes it to Jude.
After his mom died, Jude had sworn he would never drink alcohol. If a few drinks could make his dad kill his mom, even if it was by mistake, Jude wants nothing to do with it. Everyone is looking at him expectantly though, so Jude takes a sip. Of course that’s when everything starts going wrong. There’s a shout from upstairs, and suddenly the bottle is slipping from Jude’s fingers, and they all begin running.
And then there’s a gunshot.
Time stops in that moment for Jude. There’s no bullet that pierces him, but he sees someone go down and then hears screaming.
Lights flicker on as Taylor screams to her dad that it’s her not a robber.
After a moment, Jude’s eyes adjust to the light and he almost wishes that they hadn’t. Connor is on the floor, clutching his leg, blood seeming to be everywhere. The shattered bourbon bottle making it all the more hazardous to reach him.
Jude stands frozen, staring with horror at Connor as Daria screams for them to call 911 and runs to Connor.
On the way to the hospital (squished into Taylor’s father’s pick-up truck following behind the ambulance) there’s total silence. There could have been a party going on though and Jude wouldn’t have noticed. He’s too busy praying to every god he’s ever heard of making promises. If Connor is okay, Jude will never drink again. If Connor is okay, he’ll stop getting annoyed at him for being with Daria. If Connor is okay he will take whatever he can get in terms of a relationship. If Connor is okay, he’ll tell him he’s in love with him.
Jude doesn’t remember much else until he’s in the hospital waiting room and his moms are with him, repeating the diagnosis. Connor is going to be okay. Jude can’t see him, but Connor is going to be okay . And Jude is never ever drinking alcohol ever again.
Father’s Day
Jude’s annoyed when Callie tells him that she’s going to spend Father’s Day with Robert. He’s been trying to broach the subject of inviting thei- his dad over for Father’s Day, and he had kind of hoped that she would be there for it. Plus, they rarely spend time together anymore. Ever since the shooting it’s felt like Callie has been distant. To be fair, he’s not the most forthcoming about ...anything these days, but they’ve always spent Father’s Day together. After their mom died and their dad had gone to prison it had become particularly important.
Even though they have the moms now, Jude had expected Father’s Day to remain the same. He supposes things in both of their lives are changing, though. For instance, he’s inviting Connor and his dad over to join in on Father’s Day.
“So we’re not telling your dad then?” Connor checks in with Jude on Saturday.
“No, I-”
“It’s okay,” Connor interrupts. “I get it. Dad’s are… weird.”
“Yeah,” Jude agrees softly. Understatement of the year.
His dad turns out to be a constant surprise though. During lunch he calls Connor’s dad out on being a bully and all but says that he fully accepts Jude, regardless of his sexuality.
Sixteen
Jude lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Break ups suck . Watching practically all of his siblings bounce from person to person should have prepared him for how much it would suck, but it hasn’t. They at least could all easily fall into someone else’s arms. He couldn’t. Statistically speaking there were definitely a few other gay guys at Anchor Beach, but none of them were out. Jude’s dating life was somehow looking even worse than when he had a long distance boyfriend.
He lay there a while longer, fluctuating between annoyance that no one had even checked on him, and relief that for once he had somehow found some peace and quiet in the house. By the time Stef calls him down to celebrate the twins’ birthday he has successfully found the brave face he needs to put on for the rest of the family.