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I blink my eyes open.
“What?”
I listen to see if I can hear what woke me.
Someone is knocking on my door.
I get up out of bed and pull open the door to my room.
Ragnar smiles at me.
“My King Lothbrok.” I say with a bow.
He waves a dismissive hand.
“None of that from you Athelstan, I already told you.”
“I keep forgetting.”
He walks into the room and lies down on my rumpled bed on his side facing me.
I shift awkwardly by the door.
He motions for me to come closer.
I close the door and slowly make my way to his side.
He pats the space next to his middle.
I stare at him for a moment before slowly sitting down.
He lays a hand on my thigh.
“Why have come to my room in the middle of the night?”
He smiles up at me.
“I have a request for you.”
“About?”
“Your place in my kingdom.”
I fold my hands on my lap.
His hand pats my knee.
He lies on his back and folds his hands behind his head.
“I want you to teach.”
“T-teach?”
“Yes. I want you to teach us on the customs of your people, their religion and their language.”
I open my mouth.
He looks at me.
“After all, we have made peace with King Ecbert and I do not want the people I will send there to offend anyone or start a war.”
I nod.
“And it will not hurt us to learn how to read.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I found a room that will be good for you to use. You will start first with the families that will leave the following spring.”
“Alright.”
“And then whoever wishes to learn can do so.”
I smile.
“Thank you Ragnar.”
“Perhaps next time we go raiding I can bring you back more priests to help you to teach.”
“I don’t want you to go looking for priest to capture for my benefit.”
“You are important and eventually you will need help.”
I nod.
He lays a hand on my cheek.
“There is something else.”
“What is it?”
“I need you to take Ivar.”
“What?”
“He will never be a warrior. I have spoken to Aslaug about this and I have decided that you should take him as your own.”
“But I-”
“I cannot show any weakness now. I have to be strong, my family has to be strong. Ivar makes us weak and he will be the first to be killed if any of Horik’s people revolt.”
I stare down at him.
His hand caresses my hair.
“He will be your child, we only ask that you keep the name chosen for him.”
“Ragnar.”
“Please Athelstan.”
I stare down into his electric blue eyes.
Slowly I nod my head.
He sighs with relief.
“I will find you more suitable rooms and have his crib brought it.”
“Alright.”
He cups my face.
“He will love you as all my children have.”
I smile.
“What am I supposed to tell him when he asks about his mother?”
“That she died.”
My heart clenches painfully for the small helpless child.
“Ragnar, I don’t think-”
“It is better this way.” He interrupts.
“Why can’t he be your son? I will raise him if you wish. I will love him and care for him but you and Aslaug will still be his parents. There is no need to deny him his real family or his brothers.”
He shakes his head.
“Ivar will never walk Athelstan. He will grow up to hate his brothers, to resent the gods for cursing him. It is better if he has a different life with you. You will teach him and he will learn to read and write. He will learn to love others the way you do. I cannot teach him to fight with an axe or a sword. But you will teach him to fight with words, with knowledge. He will be of greater value that way. He can be a priest for our people instead of a cripple.”
I close my eyes.
“Athelstan.”
I look at him.
“Ivar is your son now.”
“No. He is our son.”
His smile is sad.
“I cannot teach him about your gods or your traditions. He will need you for that.” I tell him.
“Come here.”
He pulls my arm and I lie down next to him.
The bed is too small but we fit if we are pressed close together.
“Is this why you have not presented Ivar to your people?”
He nods.
“I don’t want Aslag to hate me for taking her son.”
“Do not worry. I have convinced her that this is the best way. She will still feed him from her breast but he is yours.”
“I don’t know the first thing about children.”
“That is not true. You helped raise Gida and Bjorn.”
“They were grown up and mostly took care of themselves.”
“They still loved you and you taught them more than you know.”
I sigh.
“Even after all this time I still miss little Gida.” I tell him.
He turns his head to look at me.
“If she had lived, I would have married her to you.”
I turn my head to look at him in surprise.
“I was a slave.”
“I would have made you a free man. She loved you greatly.”
“And I loved her but she deserved better. She could have had better.”
He touches my face.
“No. She would never have found a man as good as you Athelstan.”
“I was a monk. I would not have accepted.”
“And now? Do you still keep your vows priest?”
“I have a son now. I can’t tell people I am still pure.”
He laughs and pulls me closer.
“Perhaps then you will not reject my advances.”
I take a shaky breath.
“How can I? We have a son.”
He smiles before leaning in and touching my lips with his.
I lay my hand over his arm.
He rolls me onto my back before climbing over me.
I stare up at him, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Will you come to my bed now priest?”
“I already have.”
He leans down and kisses me again.
I grab his shoulders and pull him closer.
I groan into his mouth.
He moves his head so that he can look down at me.
“I have dreamt of this moment many times.” He says.
“As have I.”
He lies over me and I relish in the feeling of his body on mine.
Tomorrow I will have much to do with my new position in the kingdom and with my son.
For now I will enjoy this moment with Ragnar, the man I have loved and will always love.
The End.