Archive of Our Own ^beta

~*~

It has been one month since Homura Akemi woke up in her hospital bed for the first time.

It has been one month since Homura Akemi woke up in her hospital bed.

It has been one month since Homura Akemi woke up.

One month since the wish that changed the world.

One month since the end of her nightmare.

One month.

It wasn’t enough.

It was never enough.

The world has weathered every cycle. Every change. Each time, the threads of reality split open by one who knew the truth; one with the power to change it. And each time, the price of knowing was paid in pain.

You stop the criminal, but not the crime. You win the battle, but not the war. In every era, in every paradise, in every nightmare, the cracks of reality bled through.

Some things never truly change.

It has been one month since Homura Akemi surrendered to desire and created the world in her image. A perfect world, one where everyone could be happy, a world where things were bright and beautiful if you didn’t look too closely, if you didn’t mind the shadows scurrying around.

Ignorance is bliss. Innocence is peace.

For one month, Homura Akemi performed her shadow-play of six ordinary middle school girls living, and laughing, and loving, together.

It was a lie, but it was a beautiful lie, and Homura knew better than to believe it.

She was a dark goddess, and to believe in her is to believe her lie.

There was one, however, who knew.

And the price is knowing is paid in pain…

~*~

It has been one month since Homura remade the world in her image. One month ago, she and Madoka Kaname were standing in the corridor of their middle school when for a moment, just a moment, Madoka’s eyes shone gold and the universe opened up at her feet.

Homura put an end to it. Ignorance was bliss, after all. And the one thing she wanted, above all else, was for Madoka to be happy.

That was one month ago. Now, she and Madoka were crossing that same corridor on their way to the roof, so they could have lunch with their friends. In another time, in another life, this would be the day when Walpurgisnacht would descend upon the city and spell out its destruction.

But not today. Today was…

Perfect.

“Too perfect.”

Homura stopped in her tracks, turning to face the rose-haired girl behind her. Her heart pounded in her ears.

“…What was that?”

Relax. Everything’s fine. Everything’s under control…

Madoka stood a few paces behind her, staring at her shoes. She closed her eyes, blinking away tears. She swallowed hard, lifting her head, her voice tight and pained.

“…Homura… what did you do?”

The accusation hit her like a slap to the face. Homura’s heart stopped. Soon after, so did the world. Homura took a ragged breath, terror shooting through her veins. She took a step back, into the chalky gray of a world frozen in time.

Time.

There was never enough time.

Homura escaped into a pocket of paused reality, using, in a panic, the first magic she ever mastered. She needed time- time to think, to plan. She had suppressed this sort of outburst before… maybe if she-

“ Homura.”

Madoka’s voice pierced her ripple in time. Homura gasped and clutched her heart as if she’d been shot. She looked up and saw Madoka walking towards her through the chalky gray timescape, eyes burning gold…

“S-Stay back!” Homura screamed, scrambling away from the rose-haired girl striding purposefully towards her. “Get away!”

Madoka did not stop. She continued walking forward, closing the distance to the other girl, and with each step, her school uniform began melting away into golden light, slowly becoming a white gown.

“Homura,” Madoka said gently. “You betrayed me.”

It was the way she said it that tore her to pieces. No anger, no blame. Only love and a cruel truth.

Homura grit her teeth, her own clothes dissolving into inky darkness that reformed into her black dress. Wiry metal wings burst from her shoulders. Her fear was paralyzing. But anger… anger she could use.

“No, I didn’t!” She shot back. “Didn’t you see what I did?! I did this for you! I did everything for you!”

“No, Homura,” Madoka said, shaking her head sadly. “You did this for yourself. You had the power to stop time, and you used it to create a false paradise. You found that moment- that one, perfect moment- and tried to make it last forever.”

Homura’s body went rigid as Madoka curled her fingers around hers. Eyes burning gold with the light of the goddess met eyes stained scarlet with the blood at the devil’s feet.

“You could have gone with me,” Madoka said, softly. “To a better place.”

Homura wrenched her hands out of Madoka’s and backed away, recoiling as if burned.

“It wasn’t what you wanted,” She snarled. “It wasn’t fair! You took on the burden of every magical girl in the universe, gave your life to end their suffering, and I was the only one who knew! You changed the world and I was the only one who could even thank you! No one else remembered, no one even cared-“

Homura reached up and ripped the violet gem from her ear, holding it out in her black-gloved hand. The Black Crown pulsed and shivered, darkness roiling within.

“Look at this!” Homura all-but shrieked. “I did this for you! I became this for you! I…”

Homura trailed off, bitterness weighing on her heart. She choked back a sob as she felt Madoka’s fingers in her hair, leaning into her touch and hating herself for enjoying it.

“I know,” Madoka murmured, drawing Homura into her arms. “When my mind returned to me, I saw that, too.”

Homura exhaled. “Then… you know that what I did, I did out of love.”

“I do,” Madoka nodded. “That’s why I can forgive you. Because I did the same thing. I saw what you did to save us, to save me, and I saw how much you struggled, and suffered… In the end, you looked at me and found your desire, but in you, I found my duty.”

“I can’t let you go back,” Homura cried out. “I won’t! I can’t let you take on this burden alone…”

“But I’m not alone,” Madoka said, pressing Homura’s hand to the pink stone above her heart.

“I’m with you.”

Madoka’s Rose Heart and Homura’s Black Crown shone with an unearthly light. Colors and stars exploded around them, and Homura’s false paradise came crashing down.

~*~

It is cold, in the space between the worlds.

Stars wheeled overhead, and Homura’s vision became fireworks across a kaleidoscope sky.

She watched, from outside her body, as a cloud of darkness was drawn out of her.

The obsession, the possessiveness, the single-minded, relentless zealotry…

The swirling nebulae scoured the darkness from her soul like a pumice stone.

She felt… lighter.

She felt whole.

“We balance each other,” Madoka’s voice rang across the cosmos. “Desire and duty. Selfishness and sacrifice. Freedom and peace. Maybe I was naïve to do what I did. But I can learn from you. And you can learn from me. That is… if you’re okay with all this.”

A violet gem, cleansed of the shadow cast by Homura’s doubts and fears, descended through the clouds of cosmic dust. The black crown had fallen away, replaced with a crescent sliver down its spine. Homura smiled and took the reformed soul gem in her hands, her voice joining Madoka’s across the stars.

“We will rule together.”

~*~

Nighttime in the city, and a giant was stalking the streets. A huge, hulking figure in the vague shape of a man, made entirely of inky darkness, lumbered through a city from his youth, gazing forlornly at places he used to know. In an instant, its legs disappeared in a hail of gunfire, and he fell, collapsing into a pool of ink that flooded the streets.

A figure in white descended upon the silhouette’s ruined form. White, winged boots carefully stepped around its tar-like form, yellow, beady eyes gazing at the sky, pleading for answers.

“You’re going to be okay,” Said the rose-haired girl, loosing an arrow of pink light.

The Shadow writhed as it was destroyed, and the Nightmare dissolved around it, pieces of broken dreamscape falling apart like shattered glass…

In the city, the real city, a man woke in a cold sweat. His vision flickered, and a slip of paper appeared on his nightstand that wasn’t there before. Reaching out, not sure if he could trust his mind, he took the piece of paper and unfolded it. There was a message inside.

You are not alone. You are loved. Please, talk to someone.

He clapped a hand over his mouth and choked back a sob. He sat there in his apartment and wept, staring at the piece of paper in his hands until he couldn’t see it anymore. Finally, he set the slip back on his nightstand and reached for his phone.

A few rooftops away, Madoka Kaname’s outfit disappeared in a flash of pink light and flower petals, reverting to her casual clothes. Time flickered around her and Homura appeared. Homura stepped forward and Madoka pulled her into her arms, Homura’s own dark ensemble reverting to her street clothes in a burst of violet light and spinning cogs.

“How is he?” Madoka wondered aloud.

“Better. Maybe,” Homura shrugged. “I hope we made a difference.”

“The rest is up to him,” Madoka nodded sagely. “We all have our demons.”

Homura couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “And you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?”

Madoka smiled brightly, tugging on Homura’s sleeve. “C’mon. Everyone’s waiting for us at Mami’s. We have to tell them the big news!”

Homura smirked, but even she couldn’t hide the blush that crept up her cheeks.

“Madoka… I’m pretty sure they know already.”

“Yeah,” Madoka pecked Homura on the cheek, grinning. “But I still want to tell them, anyway.”

They reached out and linked their fingers together and ran off into the night, giggling all the while. And while they lived out their mortal lives, fighting for the good of the world, a part of them still existed beyond the universe.

The world is full of pain and the world is full of beauty, and it is foolish to see only one or the other. No victory comes without sacrifice; whether the price is your own desire, or if the price is another’s freedom. Duty and desire, selfishness and sacrifice, these are the things now held in the balance. These are the things they now hold in their hands.

The fight goes on, in this irredeemable world. This world of cruelty and malice, of beauty and suffering, of pain and pleasure alike.

This world, which was not worthy to receive it, still received its salvation regardless. For salvation comes not only to those who deserve it, but to those who need it most.

They hold hands, in this world, and the one beyond.

In this new world, with all our troubles and our triumphs, the Goddesses watch over us all.

~*~