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The soft rumbling of nighttime movements outside should be lulling you to sleep. It always had in the past. The atmosphere is just right for sleep: the room is dark, the sheets are crisp and inviting, your body is aching and craving a good night's sleep. So what was it that was keeping you up, had kept you awake staring at the popcorn ceiling of the cheap motel room and counting how many times a soft yellow light passed across the walls as a car drove slowly into the night? You wondered where the cars were going. Were they on their way to a relative's house, too stubborn to stop at a motel for the night? Maybe they were hurrying home to a spouse, hoping he or she had fallen asleep before they could suspect the driver was spending the night with a secret lover...
But even your guessing games as to where these anonymous people were headed at such a late hour couldn't keep you distracted from the sound of gentle snoring on the pillow next to you.
Leon Kennedy, your partner at the D.S.O., had walked straight through the door of his room and fallen face down into the bed, promptly falling asleep. That must have been hours ago now. He had had.... a bit too much to drink. But that was nothing new. He knew how to hold it. Though you knew this yourself, you had passed by your own room to follow him back to his. You told yourself it was only because you wanted to make sure he made it to his room alright, but perhaps it was because you hoped something would happen. Nothing ever did, but your heart would never forgive you if you missed an opportunity to give it what it wanted.
You were only too glad that your partner didn't know how pathetic you really were. You often sat in bed wondering what it would be like if he had been holding you at that very moment. What would he say? You embarrassed yourself imagining soft words of love melding with sensual words of desire. Leon would never recognize this agent, ever cool and tough, melting into a puddle of shame every night as she imagined a world in which they made love every minute of the day.
That shame was now creeping over you as you remembered how you'd gotten here. Leon had fallen into bed and for some reason, you’d followed suit. You stood stiff in the doorway and waited until the sounds of sleeping breaths arrived. Knowing he was out cold, you took careful strides towards the bed. I'm only going to throw a blanket over him, he would do the same for me, your brain had reasoned with your softly beating heart. But next thing you knew, you had slipped off your shoes and fallen into the cool pocket created by the blanket and mattress next to your partner.
You had had your fair share of alcohol at the bar down the block from the motel, though your buzz had long ago worn off. Knowing he couldn't turn down a drink and hoping a night in a bar would lead to something, anything, you baited him by saying you were heading over there alone. His response echoed through your brain now. Hey now, I won't let anyone drink alone, you know that! He had then popped his shoes back on even though he had just taken them off.
You grew nervous recalling the word "anyone." Were you just anyone? Oh god, don't let me be just anyone I don't think I could take it anything but that anything but that ....
Having just gotten out of a car following a long road trip, the two of you decided to walk around the corner to the bar from the motel. It would feel good to stretch your legs. The walk had been silent though Leon seemed unaffected by that. He didn't know it was killing you.
The setting sun had created a golden glow in the air and you wondered how it was possible that anything could make your partner more beautiful. His blonde hair shimmered and you could hardly miss the sparkle in his gentle blue eyes as he felt your gaze and turned to smile at you. Wait, he smiled at me! Or maybe I'm imagining that part?
"Fifteen," You muttered under your breath as another car's headlights slipped through the gap in the curtains.
Had you been too cool and tough all this time? At first you played the part of the emotionless female agent simply to discourage the comments of male agents claiming that women were too emotional to work for the government. You hated nothing more than that. Then slowly this other personality became a front to prove yourself to your newly assigned partner. You'd heard all the rumors about what he had been through, what he'd seen. You admired what he'd done and you were more than a little starstruck in his presence. You wanted to impress him. You had to be tough, you had to be a fighter like him. But then once you started developing feelings for him.... the cold exterior became a shell that struggled to hold back the passion and desire that was pushing from the inside. It threatened to crack at any moment.
Maybe Leon had understood this lack of emotion to be a lack of interest. You knew he was impressed with how you kept up with him and you felt a mutual respect. You trusted each other, had to trust each other. But there seemed to be a detachment from him. Only on rare occasions did you feel the gap between you close. Those moments were the ones that kept you going but at the same time made you want to quit your job and run away, never to hear the name Leon Kennedy again. These bittersweet occasions stung with your brain's insistence that they meant nothing.
One of those moments had happened at the bar just a few hours earlier:
Feeling the tension in the air caused by your silence, Leon slid you a drink and attempted to pick your brain.
"You know, I don't know anything about you. We've been partners for two years now and I feel like I only know your name." He chuckled.
"What more do you need to know, Agent Kennedy?" Your heart thudded loudly in your chest and you feared the whole bar could hear it.
"Two years and you still call me Agent Kennedy. Don't you like me enough to call me Leon?"
Oh god, if only he knew all the names you liked him well enough to call him. "Sure I do."
Leon rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink. "Okay, okay forget it. Call me whatever you'd like."
I'll call you anything you want! Do anything you want! Your brain cried out.
"What's your home life like?" He asked you when the silence started to grow awkward.
"Home life?" You were genuinely puzzled by his question.
"Yeah. What is it you do when you're not with me?" One of his chuckles and grins sent a tingle through your body.
"Uh..." You sipped your drink as you tried to think of an answer that didn't involve your fantasies about being with him. You decided to deflect. "Well what do you do?"
"Nuh-uh, I asked you first." He waved to the bartender for another round of drinks.
Feeling the tiniest bit coy and knowing he wasn't going to drop the subject so easily, you attempted to flirt. "I guess all the time spent running around for the D.S.O. has left little time to think about much else besides you and me, Agent Kennedy." You smiled.
He seemed to be flattered by your response. "I think we're closer than we realize, Agent L/N."
Your chest tightened as you replayed the moment. Was there something unspoken between you? The school girl crush in you of course screamed yes, but it seemed even the rational part of you agreed that there was something... The glint in his blue eyes and his gaze that lasted a bit too long seemed to ask of you, "Go on, admit how you feel because I feel the same way." Oh how you wanted that to be true. And the soft unnecessary caress of his finger against yours that shot lightning through your body as he passed you a fresh drink begged you to thaw your cold heart and tell him how you craved more of his skin.
You recalled walking back to the motel after the bartender had cut Leon off. The number of drinks he had downed seemed to worry the bartender. Your partner didn't mind though; he admitted he was starting to get tired. Again you two had walked in silence. Though he wasn't wasted, he was undoubtedly drunk and his hand had grazed yours multiple times as he tried to walk straight. You were relieved that Leon couldn't see the blush that warmed your cheeks at the feeling.
And now you were next to him in bed, and you wondered if this was the best you would ever get. Maybe that's why you'd gotten in bed with him. You had no intention of touching him, but you needed the closeness of him without it being back to back in the streets of yet another sleepy town that B.O.W.s had gotten their hands on. You needed more than mild flirtations in bars in the middle of the night. The warmth that Leon's body generated next to you made you feel drunk. You wondered if you wouldn't develop a bad habit of trying to be this physically close to your partner all the time.
The springs of the old mattress creaked as Leon turned over. You froze, hoping he wouldn't wake up and notice you. You might actually have to quit your job and run away if that humiliation were to happen. How could you ever look him in the eye again?
Suddenly, you felt a warm hand creep across your torso. You immediately stiffened, thinking that Leon had thrown an arm over you in his sleep.
But then Leon's sleep thickened voice reached your ears and you knew that he was awake and sober. "Relax, Agent L/N..."
Smiling to yourself at the teasing formalities, you did as you were told, letting your limbs relax as his fingers worked their way up under your shirt. His hands eagerly groped every patch of skin available to them. His touch felt so hungry, as if he feared if he didn't touch you now, he would never get the chance again. You wondered now if he'd been aware of your presence all along. Had he really been asleep all this time?
Though you couldn't see him in the dark, you felt Leon scoot closer to you and rest his upper body on your chest. Your skin burned as you felt his warm breath against your ear and your thoughts scrambled in your brain, paralyzing your body.
"What's on your mind?" He whispered.
You trembled as you answered. "I'm wondering...."
"Yes?" His fingers had found their way to your neck and his hand gripped your throat lightly. His thumb rubbed gently there.
You closed your eyes and allowed your words to flow out. You were tired of hiding. Your body needed this. "I'm wondering what your home life is like?"
He paused his mouth's current assault on the spot under your ear, but you felt his lips curve into a smile against your wet skin. "Home life?"
Your senses in overload, you go on playing the game. "Yeah... What do you do when you're not with me?"
His hand slipped down the front of your pants and you gasp, biting your lip and burying your face in his hair. What good thing had you done to deserve this wonderful, sweet karma?!
"Well," he kissed your ear and lowered his voice, "I'm not left with much to think about besides you and me."
You smirk. "Good," you breath against the lips that had finally met with yours, "because I've been unable to think of anything else myself lately, Agent Kennedy."