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Her head is buried in his shoulder, warm tears spreading across his jacket, black eye-makeup smeared into the red fabric. She mumbles incoherently about leers and bruising hands, dirty words and wishing to tear her face apart so no one will ever want her again. Alonzo listens patiently, whispers his sympathies, as he always does when Nanon comes to him on these nights. Alonzo is proud that he is the only one Nanon turns to. Alonzo knows her hates, memorizes every nightmare about pawing hands and ravenous teeth that plague her in the night. He stores them away for when he might need them.
Eventually, the girl falls asleep against him, having exhausted herself with tears. Alonzo hears her steady breathing. The moonlight shines through the window of his wagon, creating a halo-like effect around her dark curls. Certain she is senseless, Alonzo presses his nose into her hair, intoxicating himself with her sweet scent, closing his eyes from the bliss of it. Alonzo’s arms ache; his fingers twitch within that awful corset. For a moment, he wonders if he could release his arms, just so he could stroke those lovely curls while the girl is still sleeping, hold her close while she’s unable to realize that Alonzo too has an animal within.
He sighs and thinks, No. She’s sure to wake if I move her. Then she’ll never return… everything I ever wanted will be ripped from me.
Alonzo knows more than anything that it pays to be patient. And patient he will be with Nanon.
Then one day, he will have what he deserves.