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There's No Looking Back

Summary:

Daishou and Kuroo's relationship is going smooth, while Kenma's hits a bump.

Notes:

Well, Not shocking, but I didn't spell check

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The last couple days Kuroo has spent it sleeping on Bokuto’s couch. He didn’t tell Bokuto or Akaashi why, just that he needed to stay for a couple days. Since Kenma confessed, two days ago, Kuroo thought it would be best to give him some space. He isn’t sure what to do now, knowing Kenma loved him. Loved. Past tense. Kenma says he’s moving on, but what if Kuroo accidently does something that makes Kenma not able to move on?

“Bro, you know I love you, but you never come over without a reason.” Bokuto says, concern on his face. Akaashi sits in the chair, book in lap.

“Sorry, it’s just…Kenma told me he loved me.”

Bokuto gasps. Akaashi remains quiet, having a feeling that Kenma was in love. “What about Daishou?”

“Bro, no. I love Daishou. I love Kenma like a brother.” Kuroo spits out quickly. “I just…don’t know how to act. How do I act around my best friend who loved me?”

"Kuroo, has it occurred to you to talk to Kenma about this?” Akaashi asks, looking up from his book.

“No. That would be awkward. And I don’t want to make him uncomfortable with this talk.”

Akaashi sighs. “Well, I can’t really help you this problem.”

Kuroo shakes his head. “It’s fine. I wasn’t expecting a lot.”

“It’ll work out bro. You’ve been friends for years.”

Yea, that’s true.” Kuroo smiles.

“Now, uh…you know I love you, but umm…” Bokuto stutters, looking to Akaashi for help.

“We’re having sex tonight.” Akaashi says plainly. “You’re welcome to stay and listen.”

“Ah no. I get it. I should see Daishou anyways.” Kuroo picks up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. “Have fun you two.” He winks as he leaves.

Kuroo texts Daishou to ask first, just in case he’s busy. He gets a reply, reading it from the front screen without opening it. He quickens his steps and finds himself outside Daishou’s apartment. He knocks, then opens the door. Daishou is sitting on the couch, watching a documentary about snakes. Kuroo kicks his shoes off, walking to the couch and flopping face first on the couch, his face landing in Daishou’s lap.

“Get off!” Daishou grumbles, not actually making the move to shove Kuroo off.

“I missed you too.” Kuroo smiles, looking up at Daishou.

Daishou turns his head up to the side. “Whatever.”

They watch the show in peace, Kuroo not saying anything. His mind is somewhere else.

“Are you alright?” Daishou asks when the show ends.

“Yea. Why?”

“You haven’t made one comment during the show.” Daishou was expecting Kuroo to point at the tv and some something like look, its your cousin or something else like that. “Tell me.”

“I don’t wanna.” Kuroo mumbles, burying his face into Daishou’s thighs.

Daishou sighs. “If we’re going to date, you have to me what’s wrong…or something…”

“Kenma told me he loved me.”

Daishou tenses, worried what this means for him and Kuroo. Kuroo, who sensed it, bolts up right.

“No, I didn’t…I’m not breaking up…it just caught me off guard.”

“I wasn’t worried.” He lies.

“Anyways, I just don’t know what to do. Can we go back to the way things were before I knew? Or are things going to be weird? He seemed fine after he told me, but maybe that was a lie. I know he’s moving on, but still, what if..”

“Would you shut up and relax.” Daishou snaps. “You two have been friends forever. You two would be idiots to let something like this ruin your friendship. He’s moving on Tetsu. Be happy he’s into someone who can love them back.”

Kuroo processes the words, letting them sink in. “Thanks babe.” He kisses Daishou’s nose, who wrinkles it in disgust. “You’ve been quiet too, is there something on your mind?”

“It’s stupid.”

“I doubt it.”

“You won’t understand.”

“I wont unless you tell me.” Kuroo prods.

“Fine. Can we…not tell people about us?” Daishou’s voice is small. “I don’t want my dad to find out.”

“Is that all?” Kuroo asks. “We can do that.”

“Really? No whining about wanting to show me off?” Daishou raises an eyebrow.

“Yea. I don’t know how you feel, but I can relate a bit. Akaashi was kicked out when he told his parents. Kenma’s relationship with his parents is estranged now. I don’t want you to force yourself out if you’re not ready yet.”

“Thanks.”

“Look at you, opening up more. That’s sweet.” Kuroo grins.

“Oh shut up. I can kick you out.” Daishou threatens, but both know it’s an empty threat.

“You love me.” Kuroo wiggles his eyebrows.

“I question that every day.”

Kuroo leans forward to kiss Daishou, who returns the kiss. They make out for a couple minutes before Kuroo is pulling back.

“Shit, I gotta tell Bo not to tell anyone about us.”

“Here’s your phone.” Daishou picks it up on the couch from when it fell out of Kuroo’s pocket. He sees the last message he sent to Kuroo. “I’m Daishit in your phone?!”

“Oh right.” Kuroo replies, like it’s not that important. He grabs it, dialing Bokuto. “Hey Bo..no, I’d rather not hear what you two did…listen, you can’t tell people me and Dai are dating. If you tell a soul, I’ll never speak to you ever again.” It’s a harsh threat, but Kuroo can’t risk it, for Daishou’s sake. “Ah, yea, thanks bro.” He glances at Daishou, who is glaring. “What?”

Daishit. Really?”

“Heh, right.” Kuroo chuckles. “I’ll change it. How about ‘baby’ with a heart? Or ‘handsome babe’?”

“Nevermind. It’s fine.” Daishou crosses his legs.

“What am I in your phone?”

“Your name.” Daishou lies.

Kuroo sees through it. He tackles Daishou, trying to feel for his phone. Daishou flails, trying to shove Kuroo off, but Kuroo is stronger. He cheers when he finally gets the phone.

“I feel so violated.” Daishou mumbles.

“You liked it.” Kuroo shoots back, unlocking the phone. He opens the message app, seeing the last message sent. There, he reads the name. Stupid Cat <3. “Awww…you love me.” Kuroo coos.

“Oh shut up.” Daishou blushes, turning his head away from Kuroo. Kuroo takes his phone changes Daishou’s name to Slimy Snake <3. Daishou snorts and rolls his eyes.

~~

It’s been almost five days since Kenma confessed to Kuroo. Yet, Kuroo is acting…distant. He isn’t as touchy or clingy with Kenma as he used to. He hasn’t seen much of Kuroo, mostly in the morning or at night. He knows Kuroo is busy with school and volleyball, but he greets Kenma and that’s about it.

Two more days’ pass before Kenma snaps. It’s late, Kuroo is in the kitchen while Kenma is in the living room.

“Kuro, what’s wrong with you?” Kenma asks.

“Nothing’s wrong Kenma.”

Kenma. Not Kitten, but Kenma. Kuroo does use his given name, but not often.

“Yes there is. Ever since I told you how I felt, you’ve been distant.” Kenma is in the kitchen now.

Kuroo sighs. “I just…I didn’t want things to be awkward between us because of what you said, yet I made things awkward. I don’t want to act like you never said anything since it’ll feel like I don’t care about your feelings, because I do. I…I didn’t know how to act. I’m afraid to do something that’ll make it hard to get over me.”

“You are right Kuro, but I am getting over you. I want you to know you don’t have to be careful around me. I…I found a new sunlight.” Kenma blushes, thinking of Hinata. “There’s a part of me that will always love you, but after confessing, I think…I think I was relying on you too much…and I was afraid to lose you or something…I don’t know…Shouyou said something similar.”

“Thanks Kenma.” Kuroo walks over for a hug. “I’m happy you found someone to love.”

“This is gross. Stop.” Kenma doesn’t push Kuroo away though. “Could you maybe…not be as cuddly with me? I don’t want Daishou to get mad…”

“Yea of course Kitten.”

~~

Two weeks into dating, a problem occurred out of their control. Kuroo is sitting on the couch, with Daishou between his legs, watching a movie and sharing kisses now and then. Homework lays abandoned on the coffee table. Kuroo will make some comment about the movie and Daishou will tell him to shut up with no heat.

A loud knock at the door makes both jump. Daishou scrambles out of Kuroo’s lap, going straight for the door. When he opens it, he almost slams it shut.

“Hello dad.” Daishou says a bit loud, hoping for Kuroo to hear.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“Sorta.” Daishou lets his father in.

“Ah, Kuroo, it’s been a while.” Daishou’s father nods his head.

“Hello sir. Suguru was helping me with my homework.” Kuroo has a book in his lap, tv off, looking just like they were studying. “But we were just finishing up, so I’ll head out.”

“That would be helpful.”

Kuroo shoves the books and papers in his bag, accidently grabbing a few of Daishou’s things. He hurries out of the place.

“As you know, I have a new girlfriend. I want you and Mika to join us for diner sometime soon.”

“Oh.” Daishou never told his father he broke up with Mika. “I’m not sure when Mika is free. She’s been busy keeping up with school.” It could be a lie, but any college student is busy with work.

“Figure out which day work best for both of you and let me know.” His dad starts to leave, but stops. “And stop hanging around that Kuroo kid. It doesn’t look good for our reputation by being associated with fags.” With that, his father leaves.

Daishou flops on the couch, hurt by his dad’s words. He’s lost in thought that he doesn’t hear Kuroo come back in until Kuroo was sitting on the couch.

“Hey babe, wanna talk about it?” Kuroo asks softly.

“My stupid dad wants me to meet his fucking girlfriend and he wants me to bring Mika, but I haven’t told him we broke up and then he tells me not to hang out with you cuz it will ruin our fucking reputation being around a…a fag.” Daishou whispers the last part.

“Hey, listen, don’t listen to your dad.” Kuroo wraps his arm around Daishou. “There is nothing wrong with being gay.”

“I know that. I’m just mad. My mom accepts me.” Daishou frowns. “And now I have to tell him that Mika broke up with me.”

“What if…now hear me out, but what if you took Mika with you without telling your dad?” Kuroo explains.

“Are you crazy?”

“It’s just an idea. That way, your dad won’t be mad at you. And I’m sure Mika wouldn’t mind. Plus, it’s free food.” Kuroo says.

“What about you?”

“Me? Well, I trust you. It sucks, but I’ll survive. It’s one dinner, right?” Kuroo smiles.

“I’ll think about it.” Daishou mumbles.

“Come on, I wanna cuddle.” Kuroo opens his arms.

“So needy.” Daishou leans into his arms. He won’t admit, and he’s pretty sure Kuroo knows too, but Daishou loves to cuddle.

~~

Mika agrees to help Daishou out because who doesn’t love free food. The dinner goes alright, not many questions directed at the couple. His father’s girlfriend seems like a gold-digger, but Daishou isn’t going to say anything. He’d rather keep his father off his back.

Kuroo has a home volleyball game, so Daishou decides to cheer him on. When he scans the bleachers, he spots a familiar face blinking a few times to make sure he isn’t dreaming. There Kenma is, leaning against the railings, no phone or game in his hands, eyes watching the teams warm up. He walks up to Kenma.

“Hey.” He greets. “I’m surprised to see you here. Tetsu said you don’t come to the games.”

“Shouyou is playing.” Kenma says, looking down at the other team.

“Ah, right.” If Daishou remembers, that’s Kenma’s new friend.

“Oh god here comes Kuroo.” Kenma ducks behind Daishou.

“Hey babe, make sure to cheer loud for me.” He winks.

“Go to hell Tetsu.” Daishou flips him off.

“I was talking to Kenma.” Kuroo announces.

Kenma peeks his head out. “Go to hell Kuro.”

“Rude!” Kuroo yells, turning around and walking back to his team.

Daishou watches as Kuroo talks to Bokuto, then catches his eyes. Kuroo winks and plays a kiss at Daishou, who rolls his eyes. He’s glad Kuroo isn’t mad. They both tease each other, and both know when to quit before it gets too serious.

“Which one is your friend?” He asks Kenma.

“Ginger.” Is all Kenma says because that’s all that needs to be said.

Said boy is jumping around a player with a scowl. His personality so far seems too much for Kenma, but Daishou hasn’t been around Kenma enough now to know.

“That’s the setter, Kageyama Tobio. He always looks mad.” Kenma explains. “But he has troubling socializing like me.”

“Everybody has problems.” I’m afraid to come out to my dad and he’ll disown me and stop paying for college.

Kenma hums. The whistle blows and the game gets ready. Daishou doesn’t cheer out loud, it’s not his thing, and neither does Kenma, but both are cheering on the inside. Watching Hinata and Kageyama’s quick is amazing, happening so fast.

“They are called the freak duo because of their quick.” Kenma explains. “I’m glad I don’t have to go against that.”

“Me either.”

Even with the fast quick, Kuroo’s team wins. Kenma mumbles a goodbye to Daishou and leaves to head down the floor. He waits outside the locker room on his phone. Some of the players leave, paying no mind to him. Hinata and Kageyama are the last to leave.

“Kenma! Did you see me? Huh? Wasn’t I cool?”

“Yes you were.” Kenma nods, a small smile on his face.

“Dumbass, you missed three serves.” Kageyama scolds.

Hinata sticks his tongue out. “Shut up Bakeyama!”

Kenma chuckles at the two.

“Oh right. Let’s go get pity ice cream.” Hinata declares.

“Pass.” Kageyama says. “See you at home.”

“Kenma, you’ll come right?” Hinata looks to Kenma with his big brown eyes. Kenma nods, finding it hard to say no to Hinata.

Hinata takes Kenma to the nearest ice cream shop, retelling events from the game like Kenma didn’t just see it. Kenma lets him talk. He likes listening to Hinata’s voice. As they walk back to Hinata’s apartment, their hands keep brushing.

Kenma has an issue with people touching his causally. He feels violated in a way.  It’s not that he isn’t comfortable around Hinata, he just doesn’t like letting people get physically close to him. He hates his personal space invaded, only allowing Kuroo and family to get close.

Outside of Hinata’s apartment, Hinata suddenly gets shy.

“T-thanks for getting ice cream with me.” He fiddles with his fingers.

“I had fun.” Kenma says.

Hinata inhales sharply, slaps his cheeks and leans forward to kiss Kenma. Kenma freezes. Hinata pulls back, cheeks red. Kenma stares, tears in his eyes.

“I-I’m sorry.” Kenma blurts out, then runs.

Kenma rushes home, trying to stay calm. His heart is beating fast. He brushes past Kuroo and goes straight to his room, crawling in his bed under the covers. Not a minute later Kuroo is in the room, lying next to him.

“Hey, what happened? Did Hinata do something?”

“Sorta.”

“What was it?” Kuroo asks softly.

“He kissed me.”

“Ah, I see.” Kuroo hums, not sure what went wrong, but he knows it’s enough to almost send Kenma into a panic attack. He rubs Kenma’s back.

“I…he went into my space…before I was comfortable.” Kenma cries, shoulders shaking. “I like him, but I wasn’t ready…it was startling…”

“That was your first kiss too, wasn’t it?” Kuroo asks. He feels Kenma nod.

“I’m…I didn’t like it, it felt like…” Kenma breaks off.

“I know Kenma. I think I understand.” Kuroo says. “Just let it out. Then, and I know you’re going to hate this, but you need to talk to him about your space thing. If he really cares about you, he’ll understand.”

 “Ok. Thanks Kuro.”

“Of course Kitten. I’m here for you.”

~~

Hinata flops on the couch, face first crying. Kageyama watches, thinking Hinata is just upset about the loss.

“I fucked up Kageyama. I really fucked up.” Hinata groans.

“It was only three serves. You can work on it.”

“Not that. With Kenma. I kissed him. And…and he ran away, crying.” Hinata cries more, snort dripping from his nose.

“I’m sure there was a misunderstanding. Maybe he only likes you as a friend.” Kageyama says.

“You don’t get it Kageyama. You’re too dense and stupid to understand!” Hinata yells. “You’ve never been in love!”

Kageyama just stares, then gets up and leaves the apartment Hinata curls into a ball on the couch and cries.

Notes:

Sorry for the ending. Don't hate please

I hope Kenma's space issue was clear. I had a hard time wording it.
I will be going more into the dinner with Daishou and his father, along with his mother showing up.

Might rewrite ending, not sure yet.

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