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Published:
2011-01-30
Completed:
2011-06-12
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3,762
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2/2
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Pie, Plaid and Porn

Summary:

"I like my men who know their pie," Dean told Chris after he passed his asinine test in the diner. Knowing the difference between triple Berry and four berry was like second nature to him. Dean tilted his head toward the exit. "Wanna get out of here?"

Chapter Text

"Mm pie," Chris moaned in the diner. "Love me some pie." another voice said along with Chris.

He looked over and their eyes locked and that's how Chris Pine met Dean Winchester. Love at first slice.

*

"I like my men who know their pie," Dean told Chris after he passed his asinine test in the diner. Knowing the difference between triple Berry and four berry was like second nature to him. Dean tilted his head toward the exit. "Wanna get out of here?"

Chris doesn't think about Paparazzi or headlines. He just thinks of a seedy motel room and Dean on top of him, that smirk looking down at him. "Sure."

He leaves a tip and when they go outside to sit in Dean's car Chris is silently freaking out because Dean has the sweetest car known to man. "Is this real?"

Dean beams at him. "My friend, this is the best car in the world. It's a '67 Chevy Impala and don't you forget it."

"It is badass," Chris says and the look on Dean's face thoroughly convinces Chris that he is totally gonna get laid.

*

The door closed with a slam as Chris pushed Dean up against it, pulling at both of their flannels and ignoring them when they made their way towards the floor. Dean had a mouth that was built for this, all strong lips and teeth attacking Chris and Chris couldn't help but love every moment.

The bed came too fast, too soon and they were both naked within minutes and all Chris did was want. He didn't care that he'd never been with a guy before, he was sure Dean never did either, he just wanted Dean so much he could taste it.

Both of their hands were fumbling but the end result was pretty worth it if Chris was telling the truth.

*

They don’t really talk after. He doesn’t tell Dean that he’s famous, he doesn’t think Dean would care or even if his real name was Dean. That could be some insecurity coming through, though.

They’re lying in between rounds one and two— because there is totally going to be a round two, Chris is positive. “Is that your name?”

“Huh?” Dean grunts from next to him.

“Is Dean your real name? I’m just curious, is all.”

Dean laughs for a really long time and Chris doesn’t know whether to be offended or not. Dean looks over to him and busts out laughing again. “Of all the," before he breaks off in laughter again. Chris is getting a little annoyed with all this laughter. “Yes, my actual name is Dean.” The way he says actual bugs Chris a little bit and he can’t put his finger on it but Dean is on him again and Chris stops thinking.

*

Rounds two and three are separated by sleep, which is new for Chris. Not that he doesn’t enjoy sleep or anything, but for one he stops around round two, and doesn’t go at it again with the person the morning after. It’s more of an early morning after because Dean gets a total of three hours of sleep before he’s ready to go again. Chris wonders idly whether or not he gets more sleep than that a night but Chris finds he doesn’t really care.

It’s still weird, being with Dean but Chris also doesn't reallly mind. Chris looks into Dean’s eyes and there’s pain and torture there, not just put there to seduce Chris because Chris is pretty well seduced. Chris rushes forward to kiss Dean and it’s harder than before, not that they were playing virgins on prom night before, but Chris wants it harder this time, and he can tell so does Dean.

It’s all sharp angles, rough hands, lips, teeth and hard bodies against each other with both of them panting at the end. Chris doesn’t think he can make it to round four and that’s the worst disappointment of the night.

*

Dean leaves the next day.

They don’t exchange phone numbers or say they’re going to see each other. It was just a good weekend and they don’t make anything more of it. They do end up fucking one last time. “One for the road,” Dean said and that argument made sense.

After Chris watches Dean leave in his bad ass ride, he knows it’s an Impala but that doesn’t make it any less badass, he debates whether that was the best weekend of his life or not. He’s undecided but it’s definitely up there in the top ten. He goes back to his house after his brief hiatus into some random ass small town in the U.S., after his one night stand with a guy he didn’t even really know.

As soon as he walks into his house there’s a wailing and all of the cupboards slam shut. Home sweet home.

*

Life after Dean is a lot similar to life before Dean, except nothing seems to satisfy him. He sleeps with girls and guys, when whatever the hell is in his house lets him, but it’s just not the same.

None of his friends comment on it, well, except Zach but Chris is pretty sure Zach just knows. He doesn't know the extent of what happened but he knows something did. He just makes comments about Chris's boyfriend while Chris hits him a lot mumbling that he doesn't have a boyfriend.

Nothing new there.

Well except his haunted house.

When Noah wouldn't come into Chris's house Chris realized that the haunting situation might be worse than he thought. Noah just laid on the driveway growling at his house.

"Maybe you should hire a ghost hunter," Zack jokingly offered.

Chris hit him in the shoulder, hard. "Maybe I will." They went to Zach's place instead and just hung out the rest of the afternoon. Chris was joking about hiring a ghost hunter but the more the idea circled around him mind the more compelling it sounded, even though it should not have.

There was no concrete evidence that it was a ghost and Chris didn't have the numbers to any local ghost hunters so he was fucked even if things were getting worse.

He went to sleep that night and wasn't surprised when there was blood in the bathroom.

He was surprised to find Dean and some tall guy on his doorstep the next day though.

*

Chris always thought he would say something profound if he ever saw Dean again, something profound and deep. Or something, at least. "Wait, I thought you were a mechanic," came out instead.

The man behind him busts out laughing and Chris doesn't have time to feel offended. He laughs for a good five minutes before he got his breath back.

"Not. Even. Close. Dean, it seems you have some 'splaining to do."

Dean scowled. "Shut up, Sam"

Chris invited them inside.

*

"Let me get this straight," Chris hedged after Sam declared that Dean had fucked up and Chris also demanded the truth out of them because no mechanic dressed in a suit, holding FBI badges. "You're not a mechanic but you hunt monsters while pretending to be FBI agents with rock star names?"

Dean shrugged. "Not only FBI agents."

Chris nodded while Sam laughed again. "I still can't believe you told him that you were a mechanic while you were seducing him."

"Sam, I swear to--get in the car."

Sam smiled a truly shit eating grin and they bickered for a moment.

Well this was...new.

*

It took Sam and Dean a day and a half to kill whatever was haunting Chris' house and then they stayed an extra night, for Dean's sake. They never tell Chris what it was but Chris doesn't really want to know, if he's honest to himself. He's just glad that he can take hot showers again.

They fuck again and Chris feels like he can breathe again. There was a scratch he couldn't reach before but Dean can itch it with practiced ease.

The morning they actually leave Chris gives Dean a blowjob for his troubles. It's the least he can do, honest.

*

They exchanged numbers before the Impala rumbles down the street. They both know that they won't probably call, only in emergencies.

*

"Hey Dean, I was being chased by what I thought was Paparazzi but I'm pretty sure they weren't. Well, they usually don't burn when I throw silver at them. Why did I throw silver at it anyway? I don't even know. Just call me back, I'm hiding out at Zach's for the time being."

*

"What are you doing? Are we cuddling?" Dean sounded almost outraged at the thought.

"Yep."

"Well, cut it out."

Chris didn't move at all. "It's my house," he pointed out.

Dean didn't move either but let out a giant sigh. "Fine, but this never happened."

"Whatever you say, Dean," Chris said with a smug smile on his face and whatever bitchiness he endured was totally worth it.

*

 

"Hey just wanted to tell ya we got the shifter outside of Oregon. Good thinking with the silver. Bye."

*

One of Dean's favorite games to play with Chris was "Reasons We Can't Be Together". Chris usually liked to play his own game of "I Call Your Angel of the Lord Friend and Raise You One Hipster Actor and Other Rebuttals to Your Reasons" but Dean always won. Dean was the MVP.

*

"Dean? Something...just call me"

*

Chris looked at the DVD box before he popped it in his player. He just looked back at Dean. "Busty Asian Beauties? Isn't that, like, an oxymoron?"

Dean punched him in the arm. "Just put it in and let your mind be blown."

Chris rolled his eyes mumbling how that wasn't the only thing he'd liked to be blown that evening but he watched it with Dean, albeit a little grudgingly. It was pretty good for porn, nothing Chris had in his collection but the next movie was Chris's choice.

He noticed Dean's eyes on him the entire time to see if he was enjoying it. He was it just wasn't really his thing. Especially lately. Lately Chris had only one kind of thing and that thing traveled the united states hunting monsters and only found time to stop in every couple months or so. Chris was so fucked but Dean wouldn't touch that conversation with a forty foot pole.

Chris wanted to jerk off because it was porn but for some reason he couldn't do it. Dean's eyes were on him and his body was very hyper aware of this fact. Maybe he didn't want to ruin it for later because Dean couldn't stay for a long time this time. Not that he stayed more than three days on a good day but still.

Chris just looked over to Dean and there was something in his eye but Chris couldn't put his finger on it. He got up to put in one of his own DVDs in but before he even made it to the cupboard he was pressed up against the wall with Dean's lips already kissing him.

Clothing was discarded within seconds and Chris didn't know how exactly they were going to pull this wall sex thing off but he had faith in Dean. Chris was already open from when Dean opened him up earlier claiming to be a tease but Chris knew the real reason now. Dean picked him up and pushed in as Chris wrapped his legs and arms around Dean.

It was hard and fast, almost desperated and all Chris could do was lay there and just take it. Chris missed this so much. He wouldn't say it out loud because in Dean's mind that translated into "I miss you" and he knew the minute that left his lips Dean would be gone. He would take Dean any way he could.

He kissed and bit any part of Dean he could. He pounded into Chris and gripped Chris's hair before he came apart. They both bit down on each other's shoulders as they came. Chris bit down so something stupid didn't come out and Chris knew Dean probably bit down so he couldn't say anything.

 

*

"Thanks for the heads up in Vegas. It was a...fuck. You dont' give two shits about what it was or care."

*

Per Dean's instructions Chris salted every window pane and door opening in the house. He drew a devils trap under the rugs in front of the front and back door, too. He said it was for safety when Dean couldn't be there. Chris was never sure if Dean was just checking on Chris or he honestly wanted to see Chris sometimes.

It would just have to be one of life's little mysteries, Chris supposed.

They didn't have sex everytime Dean came by after a hunt so that had to mean something.

*

"Sam made me go see your latest movie; I might have to kill myself now. Are you sure you have balls?"

*

The call came early in the morning from an old Berkeley friend. It was weird because he hadn't heard from Tom in such a long time but he was stoked to meet up with him at his favorite coffee place.

Afterwards he wasn't so stoked because he was locked in a warehouse with a bunch of people he knew from all sorts of different places. A few Berkeley friends, a few actor friends including a good portion of the Trek cast and they were all demons.

He was so lucky that the demon version of his publicist claimed that they needed him alive. They left and he passed out as soon as he did.

*

"Chris? Man, I was kidding.

*

Chris was still in between consciousness when he heard the demons bickering. His body was sore and he was aching for some food to eat but he knew none of the demons would feed him, needing him alive or not. He was bleeding from different areas and he wasn't sure how he was surviving without food and blood dripping out of him.

"He has an anti-possession tattoo? Really?" One hissed out.

They didn't sound happy and when one of the demons realized he was awake again they knocked him out. Before he was out for the count again he really wished Dean was there to help him.

*

"Son of a bitch. Pine! There's a shit ton of demon omens by your place, call me back as soon as possible"

*

He was thrown across the room and hoisted up in an apparatus before Dean came by to save him. He felt barely alive, he wouldn't make it much longer. When the demons got wind that the Winchesters were coming for Chris they started torturing Chris morre. They had all the bait they wanted.

When Dean finally broke down the door he looked so outraged that he didn't even think before he stabbed each and every demon surrounding Chris. He was so furious and when every last one was killed he didn't head back out the door to see if Sam was alright. He rushed over to Chris and shook him before he took him down from where he was strapped.

"You better not be dead, Chris. You can't be dead," he grit out before hoisting him over his shoulder and went to find Sam. That was around the time Chris passed out for good and wasn't too sure if he was going to wake up or not.

*

"I swear to god if you don't call me in the next hour and demons haven't kidnapped you I am going to gank you myself. Call me back before me and Sam have to save your ass"

*

Those were really odd messages to hear after Chris woke up in a strange room feeling like a spirit had chucked him across the room. Before Chris knew Dean he didn't know what that felt like. He missed those days.

Speaking of Dean, Chris noticed him sitting across the room looking like he had three hours of sleep the previous night. So, he looked like he usually did, pretty much.

"Well that was like," Chris started but Dean held up a hand to stop all words from leaving his mouth.

"If you say fate or destiny I will unplug your life support system," Dean threatened.

Chris gulped and really didn't doubt him. "I was going to say good timing definitely not fate or whatever."

Dean laughed and took a few steps towards his bed. "Sorry, destiny and I have some beef you could say."

They didn't say anything for a long time, which was usual in their conversations. Not that they had many or anything because they didn't, at least that's what Chris was supposed to tell Sam if he ever asked. Which he did all the time. He wanted to see Dean admit he feels something for Chris but he never would.

Until he rushed off to fight a clan of demons unprepared because they kidnapped Chris.

"I was awake for that you know," Chris almost whispered. Dean looked over to him and didn't say a word. "I was just fading out when you busted down the door and started taking out all the demons."

They were his friends, or at least they were before this happened. None of the people in that room with him were really his friends. They were in there somewhere but he knew they were demons.

Chris looked around the room and there were papers laying everywhere. They must be at...Billy's? Bob's? Chris couldn't remember the name of the guy but Sam talked about him once. He was like a father to them.

It was kind of funny to Chris that everything personal he knew about Dean had came from the mouth of his little brother. It wasn't that weird because Dean didn't know anything personal about him but he found he kind of wanted to. Dean was probably one of his only friends now.

That was weirder than the Sam thing.

He didn't comment on the deaths but went a different route, a route that he knew was coming. Knew for months. "So I'm a wanted man, I have my own police record and everything."

Dean turned to look at him, a small smile on his face. "Mine is worse than yours I swear. It might be embarrassing but I think Sam's is worse than yours too."

Chris smiled at Dean and Dean smiled back even though it was pained and forced. "I guess your'e stuck with me," he said.

Dean looked down at him, looked his body up and down and this time the smile wasn't pained or forced and Chris wanted to live with that smile for a while. "I guess I am."

Chris couldn't keep the smile off his face even though every molecule in his body was rejecting his need to smile stupidly at Dean. They were interrupted by a throat clearing in the door opening of the room. Sam was wearing a smug smile and Chris was truly starting to hate that look on him. "How isn't this a chick flick moment?"

Chris and Dean rolled their eyes and shouted "Shut up, Sam!" in unison.