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Peter's fingers flexed around Lara Jean's as they walked to his car, as if his own body couldn't really believe that she was back right there, next to him. Part of him was afraid to let go really, possibly out of fear that she was going to run from him again.
They paused in the parking lot, as Lara Jean hung back uncertainly. Peter turned to look at her quizzically, their hands still linked in the space between them.
"I drove here too," she said in mild horror.
It took a moment but Peter laughed loudly once he understood. She didn't want to let go of him either, but they'd driven here in separate cars. Both cars had to get back home somehow.
Lara Jean bit her lip, raising her free hand to punch him in the arm for laughing at her. She wasn't offended at him laughing, but she did feel embarrassed that her reluctance to leave his side was so easily revealed. It didn't really hurt him anyway, but he rubbed at it, fake-pouting. He always did like it when she blinked those big eyes at him. It never failed to make his heart skip a beat. Even back when they were pretend-dating.
"Alright, it's a simple problem. Here," Peter dropped his duffle, digging in his pocket for his phone. His other hand was still clasping Lara Jean's, although she was pulling out of his hold and moving closer to see what he was up to.
"Nuh uh," he tightened his grip, shaking his head at her. "Not letting go just in case you decide to run away again, Covey."
Her voice was indignant, "I wasn't gonna - "
"Sssh," he hushed as the person on the other end picked up. "Hey, Kitty."
Lara Jean's mouth fell open in surprise as he quickly negotiated for her sister to get her dad to pick the car up whenever he was free later in the evening. She had forgotten the ease with which he had integrated himself into her personal life, with her family, in her house. Again, the overwhelming emotion that had driven her to write that love letter and given her the courage to drive here to tell Peter surfaced, and Lara Jean fought down the urge to kiss him while he was on the phone. I mean, he was on the phone with Kitty, her sister. There had to be a line.
Peter ended the call with a triumphant grin, shoving the phone back into his pocket and picking up his duffle with a cheerful huff, "It's all settled."
"What?" Lara Jean was being tugged along again to his car and she followed him without complaint. "Already?"
"I asked your dad for permission to drive you to my house for dinner, and I promised to have you back home by eleven. He'll pick the car up with the spare key later after dinner, and he told us to have fun," Peter's voice trailed off uncertainly, and he looked back down at her where she was swinging their arms absently. "If that's okay ...?"
"Why wouldn't it be okay?" Lara Jean returned his gaze confusedly. Peter doubting himself was new.
Peter opened his mouth before closing it again, throat working as he struggled for the words. Words never came as easily to him as they did for her. But Lara Jean waited patiently, leaning against the side of his car, giving him the time he needed to collect his thoughts.
"I guess... I didn't want to assume? I mean, we just - " he gestured towards the field with his hand, towards the area where they'd recently confessed their feelings for each other and rekindled their relationship, or something. "Hm."
Her soft laughter was like balm for his aching soul. He didn't realise how much he'd missed having her around. Or how much he'd gotten used to having her around. And now that he had her back by his side, it was like he had found the missing part of himself.
"Peter, it's fine. I would love to have dinner at your house. Thank you for asking my dad for permission, it was nice of you to think of that."
With that, she tapped him to release the locks on his car, pulling open the door and climbing in without another word. He really really didn't want to let go of her hand, but he guessed he had to get into the car, somehow. Dashing over to the other side, he clambered in, tossing his duffle in the back and starting the car as quickly as possible. He didn't want to waste another second.
Lara Jean didn't have anything with her, just her phone in her pocket, since she'd ran out of the house in a flurry looking for Peter to tell him how she felt. But when Peter pulled out of the space and onto the quiet roads, and took her hand that was lying in her lap, grasping it and pulling it over to rest on his thigh, she felt like she had everything she needed.
-
It wasn't the first time she'd been in his room. It wasn't even the second, or third time she'd been in his room. So then why did she feel like an awkward teenager, wondering where she should sit, or if she should stand.
Placing one hand over the other elbow, she looked at the photos he had on his wall, not as many as what she had on her wall but still, there were quite a few. Photos of him with his mom, with Owen, with his friends from school. The photos of Gen had disappeared, she noted with some satisfaction. And there was a new addition in the middle, the photo they had taken way back when they'd started fake dating, at the party.
Lara Jean looked at the photo of her kissing his cheek, smiling. The uncertainty that she had felt going to a school social event surrounded by people she didn't know and people she knew would gladly throw a shoe at her, but knowing that Peter was going to be with her. Oh, if she had known then what would have happened...
"Hey," he entered the room after speaking with his mom about dinner, tossing his stuff into the corner and going to wrap his arms around her. He dropped a kiss onto the top of her head casually. "What are you doing?"
"Just looking at your stuff."
"No, I mean, what are you doing over here? You always sit on my bed when you come over. You said it was bouncy and comfortable."
"Yeah, I know," she shrugged, feeling his hold on her lift as she did so, and he dropped another kiss onto her hair before moving to plug his phone in to charge. "I didn't know if it was going to be any different now that we're dating-dating instead of fake-dating."
Peter looked at her confusedly, "Why would it be different?"
He looked so sweet and befuddled, like he genuinely didn't understand. Lara Jean looked around the simple grey walls, the large desk in the corner with his laptop and schoolbooks on it, to the bed with a slightly messily made comforter on it and three big blue pillows. So familiar, yet still slightly foreign.
She shrugged again, hiding her face with her hair, "Because now it's real?"
His eyes softened in understanding. Silently, Peter crossed the room, taking her hands gently and leading them over to his bed. Flopping down comfortably, he pulled her down to sit as well, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles into her palms.
"We're still you and me," he said earnestly, curving his large body to look into her eyes and hold her gaze. "Don't overthink it too much. I'm still going to want Korean yoghurt smoothies, and your cookies, and I know you're still going to freak out when you drive sometimes and want me to put my hand in your back pocket," his nose scrunched up again in laughter when her head shot up hastily in protest. "No, no I know you liked it and it made you think of Jake Ryan so I will do it again when I feel like it."
He tapped a finger to her nose tenderly. "Still you and me."
She wrinkled up her nose in return, her own smile growing when it made Peter laugh again. Peter moved to hug her, releasing her hands and wrapping those warm arms of his around her waist. She'd always loved Peter's hugs. He always grasped the elbows of his opposite arm when he hugged her, tightening around her in a safe cocoon that she felt like she never wanted to leave. Her own hands rose to curl into the back of his hoodie, gripping on tightly as she turned her head to rest against his chest, listening contentedly to his heartbeat.
All the worries and doubts that she had about dating Peter Kavinsky, king of the cafeteria crowd and lacrosse star, slowly slipped away. It had never mattered. What other people thought of her wasn't important, it never was. Not even when everybody'd thought they had had sex in the hot tub. She realised it now. Those would pass.
Peter and her would remain.
With a small gasp of laughter, she realised that he was toppling them onto his bed, tickling her a little in the process.
"Peter!"
"Got you all to myself now," he muffled his voice in her hair, holding her tightly as he rolled, pinning her with his larger body.
The familiar tingles of excitement shot down her spine again, and she breathed in his unique scent, utterly content. But as she ran her hands through his damp tousled hair, she frowned, remembering something. "Peter, go shower."
"What? Now?" He looked at her like she was mad. "But I was about to kiss you." Peter began leaning down again to reach her, only slightly miffed when she pushed at him with her hands, trying to get him to go.
"Not until you get clean! You just had lacrosse practice, and you have to shower before dinner."
He groaned, pushing off the bed and into a half-sitting position, hanging his head sadly, "You're the worst, Covey. You pick the worst timing." Using his fingers, he flicked at her forehead half-heartedly, unwilling to leave.
"Go," her words were tinged with humour. "I won't trash your room while you're gone."
"I can't believe you're making me do this," Complaining, Peter opened his closet to grab clean clothes, pointing at Lara Jean before he left. "Make sure you grab one of my pillows to hug. I want it to smell like you before I get back."
Biting her lip to keep from smiling too widely, she nodded vigorously, sending her hair flying.
Peter's returning grin made her stomach feel like she'd just gone through the highest drop on a rollercoaster ride.
He was back in less than ten minutes really, because he wanted to spend every minute with her. A sap, he was turning into a sap, and Peter Kavinsky found that he liked it. Entering his room, he found Lara Jean cuddling one of his pillows obediently. Hiding just out of sight, he walked as quietly as he could to grab his phone, raising it to snap a picture quickly.
Lara Jean. His girlfriend.
His face was going to split from smiling this widely too often. But he couldn't help it.
He pulled the towel from around his neck, drying his hair as much as he could before throwing it into the hamper. The sound made her turn, smiling at him as she did so.
"I've got a surprise for you."
"Oh?"
"Yeah," he climbed into bed next to her, propping his head up with his arm and pulling his other arm out from behind him to reveal his secrets. "Brand new."
Lara Jean's eyes widened at the six pack of Korean yoghurt smoothies he handed her, looking back up at him with her eyes shining. "It's called Yakult, by the way. It'll make it easier so you don't have to say Korean yoghurt smoothies all the time." She traced the veins on the back of his hand with an errant finger, liking that his eyes followed her finger's path even as he mouthed the word to remember. "When did you get this?"
"I bought them for you on the ski trip, remember? I just bought extras for myself," he shrugged, playing it cool but losing the battle when Lara Jean reached over to press a kiss to his cheek. The spot burned and he reached up to touch it before collecting himself and placing his hand back down between them.
The ski trip.
Lara Jean felt her face begin to heat up as she remembered their impromptu make out session in the hot tub, and the goodnight kiss after that. She blinked at him, wondering if he could read her mind or if he was thinking about the same things that she was. However, finding that she could remember those moments now without any sadness or anger at what came after was freeing, and she pushed closer to Peter, putting the drinks out of reach.
His eyes tracked her movements, and he raised a hand to rest on her waist, slowly pulling her closer.
"Hi," she breathed.
He really couldn't wait any longer. And there was nothing between them now. Leaning down, Peter covered her lips with his, his heart skipping a beat as he saw her eyes widen before his own closed. Nobody and nothing could compare to Lara Jean. He kissed her gently, willing her to put aside the many thoughts churning in her mind to be with him, be present with him.
And nobody was more surprised than him when her hand came up to rest on his neck, pulling him closer to her. He'd liked this side of Lara Jean when she showed it to him in the hot tub.
Tilting her head, Lara Jean kissed him with short open mouthed kisses, rolling onto her back and smiling as he braced his arms on either side of her head, to keep him from crushing her.
His eyes carried a small dazed look, making her chest tighten in contentment that she was capable of making him feel as disorientated as he did her. Peter brushed a finger down the side of her cheek, tracing a path that only he could see, his own breath catching on his words, "Hi."
It was easier than expected, falling back into a routine that they had barely begun.
They exchanged kisses in silence, sweetly and lovingly. Over and over again.
Peter realised that he liked to wind her hair around his fingers.
Lara Jean remembered that she liked the fresh smell of his shampoo.
They both jumped when Peter's mom called them down for dinner, coming back to the moment and remembering where they were. It was almost dark. They hadn't realised that. Peter was unwilling to let her go from where he had her in his arms, close to him. It was unfair really, that he had to share her with the rest of the world when he wanted him for herself. Selfish, he supposed, but he couldn't help it. Sighing, Peter pressed a last slow kiss to her forehead before rolling off her to sit up.
Taking the hand he offered her, Lara Jean sat up gingerly, her head still spinning slightly. She swatted at Peter when she caught him grinning, pleased with himself at how the glazed over look she had in her eyes from him kissing her. "Stop it."
Avoiding his gaze, she straightened her clothing. Not that they were doing anything inappropriate, but it still wouldn't do to go to dinner looking like they did. Peter helped, or tried to, by brushing her hair out of her face, and behind her ears silently. He'd always liked her hair down.
"Before I let you go," he whispered softly, making her lean in closer to catch his words. They were so soft in the dark space they'd created for themselves. it was like he felt if he spoke too loudly he would shatter the quiet intimacy they'd just shared. "We gotta do something."
"Hm?"
He grabbed his phone from where he'd tossed it, coming back to open up the camera app and tug her closer into his lap. He ignored her squeak of surprise, bracketing her in with his thighs. "A picture, to celebrate us."
"We have pictures," Lara Jean was flustered but gathered herself to point confusedly at the one stuck on his wall.
"A real one," he insisted, holding the phone up in front of them. "One where we're not just pretending."
Lara Jean blinked, pleasantly surprised at his sentimentality. Every day, she learnt something new about Peter. Lara Jean swallowed the wave of emotion that threatened to make her cry and quickly settled into his lap, rearranging herself and her hands on top of his, "Well, if you have to."
Peter wrapped his arm tighter around her waist, smirking. Her nonchalance wasn't fooling anybody. "Alright here we go," he pressed his lips to her cheek, grinning at her sharp intake of breath.
"This is for us."