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It’s not that Feferi hated Vriska. It’s just that she was so hard to talk to! Here they were stuck in an elevator together, with the music slowly driving Feferi insane, and she couldn’t think of a single topic of conversation.
For her part, Vriska seemed fine with the stony silence. She sat in the corner, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently.
“So, uh, how do you like the meteor?” Feferi asked.
“This place? Total dump. I cannot believe there isn’t a single working recuperacoon in the entire place,” she replied, grimacing. “Also, apparently the elevators are trash.”
“Yeah, forget stairs. They should have warned us about elevators!” Feferi giggled. Vriska didn’t respond. Apparently the joke wasn’t funny.
Silence again. Oh wait, not silence. That same horrible song! Did it never end? Feferi had grown up listening to Gl’bgolyb’s songs of insanity as lullabies, but somehow this music was worse.
Thinking of her lusus, Feferi let out a heavy sigh.
“Hey, do you ever miss when you were little, and your lusus would sing you to sleep?” she asked, not really expecting an answer.
“My lusus didn’t sing,” Vriska responded flatly.
“Oh. Huh, you’re right. I don’t think most lusii have the right vocal chords for singing. I never thought about it before. Guess I was lucky.”
“Lucky?” Vriska sneered. “Feferi, your lusus was a monster. She dined on the souls of the damned.”
“Did not! She ate other lusii.”
“Whatever,” Vriska said, rolling her eyes. “My point is, you are so much better off without her. She was a fatass freeloader who gave you nothing but pain.”
“I still loved her. I mean, what kind of troll doesn’t love their lusus?”
Vriska bristled, as if suddenly there was an electric charge on her tush.
“Oh, yeah, absolutely,” she growled. “You’d have to be some heartless bitch to hate your lusus. Doesn’t matter if your lusus is a demanding, slavering beast that will turn on you the second you come home empty-handed. Nope, nothing but love for good ol’ spidermom!”
Realizing she’d said too much, Vriska clamped her mouth shut and shot Feferi a death glare, like she blamed her for the over-sharing.
Feferi was quiet a moment, not sure what to say. She had known the general details of Vriska’s situation, due to her connection with Eridan. But she had never known how the other girl had felt.
“Must have been hard,” Feferi responded, “not being able to rely on your lusus like that.”
Gl’bgolyb may have been a many-tentacled terror, but at least she would have never turned on Feferi.
“It made me strong,” Vriska defended. “I’m not some weak baby who needs other people to hold her hand.”
A pause, only the steady chimes of the background noise to break the silence.
“But maybe…” Feferi began, then paused. How to say this without hurting Vriska’s pride? “Maybe…you could still hold someone’s hand once in a while. Not because you need to, you know? Because you’re a strong person. But maybe because…just because you wanted to.”
Vriska shrugged noncommittally, drawing her knees in. Feferi studied her, the hunch of her shoulders, the bags under her eyes. What a lot for one troll to take on. And without even a moirail to help her!
“What are you looking at?” Vriska asked acidly.
“I was just thinking, um…maybe you wanted to? Hold hands, I mean. With me.”
“What?"
“You know, just because we can. And there’s nothing better to do in here.”
Vriska eyed her suspiciously. Like she thought Feferi was playing a cruel joke with her emotions. Feferi smiled as sincerely as she could.
“Yeah, that’d be okay, I guess,” Vriska finally agreed.
Clapping her hands in joy, Feferi scooted across the floor until she was shoulder-to-shoulder with the other girl. Vriska was taller than her, which meant her shoulder was at the perfect height for leaning against. Gently, Feferi took her hand.
“But the second the door opens, this never happened, okay?” Vriska ordered. “I don’t want you fawning all over me in public like I’m some brain-deficient baby who can’t take care of themselves.”
Feferi just smiled.
I’m not making any promises, she thought.