Chapter Text
it’s an average of fifty-five degrees fahrenheit in the ice rink.
jungeun is not used to the cold just yet, hasn’t always been good with chilly days and wants to hibernate when winter rolls around, but she’ll have to adjust to it if she’s going to start skating. it’s a hobby she picks up from jiwoo, just something to try out after so much of her best friend’s pestering. how can she say no to jiwoo, who has loved to draw figure eights into frozen layers of lake water when they were little, who now skates competitively, and has the world’s most convincing puppy dog eyes?
(“oh my god, jiwoo,” a dramatic, drawn out, exasperated sigh leaves jungeun’s body, “can you please stop looking at me like that?”
“then you’ll do it? you’ll try out skating?” big, round eyes look up at jungeun hopefully. jiwoo’s smiling, already knowing what her best friend for life is going to say next.
“ugh, yes, i will try skating—“ she finally agrees. “but you gotta help me pay for the fees, since this is your idea.”
“i’m so, so, so excited! jungie!!” and that’d been the end of that conversation, with jiwoo leaping with great faith into jungeun’s arms without any warning. at least she’s happy, jungeun thinks.)
jiwoo gives her lessons on the weekends, when she’s free from her class schedules and her cafe job. she’s not a bad teacher, jungeun learns, but sometimes jiwoo can not find the right words to describe a particular movement to jungeun and someone nearby chimes in helpfully to lend a hand. seeing jiwoo’s sheepish smile after the fact is enough to let her off easy, though—jiwoo skates because it’s fun, trying to teach her best friend about the sport she loves so much, and who is she to ruin that just because she’s not the best with words?
a couple of lessons turn into something more; jungeun tells jiwoo to stop paying for her ice rink membership and starts paying it herself. then, buys herself a brand new pair of ice skates. she gets jiwoo to be the first one to lace them up for her when she shows them off. she becomes a regular at the ice rink in a matter of a couple months and these days, jungeun’s practicing at the rink by herself more often than not.
jungeun decides she likes ice skating.
(and she gets a little used to the constant chill in the ice rink.)
after being away for the competitive season, the day jiwoo comes back to seoul is the start of the korean nationals. jungeun and yerim come out to support their friend as best as they can, in true fashion: embarrassing baby pictures of jiwoo blown up on large banners with “kim jiwoo, korea’s baby” painted in large letters, while they scream their hearts out as jiwoo enters the rink for her short program. it’s as great as they knew it’d be; they can’t expect anything less of an entertaining performance from her.
they run away from the arena seats to go find their esteemed figure skater after her performance. jungeun scans the crowd-filled hallway, does not see their friend or hear her signature bubbly laugh. “yerim, go look for jiwoo that way, i’ll look this way.”
“roger! let’s meet back here in fifteen!”
she wades through groups of people, pushing past spectators left and right. how hard is it supposed to be to find jiwoo? she may be little, but jiwoo has a large personality, a heart bigger than her body—it should be a piece a cake. jiwoo just radiates sunshine like it’s nothing, after all.
rounding the corner of a quieter hallway, jungeun spots a room with jiwoo’s name on it. she pauses in front of it, puts her ear up to the door and hears nothing from the other side. there’s a chance that no one is inside, but it couldn’t hurt to knock, anyway. after hearing no response, jungeun decides to open the door to peek her head in.
“jiwoo? you in here?”
jungeun steps halfway inside before she realizes someone is in the room, but a quick glance at blonde hair is an alarming sign that this person is definitely not jiwoo. she freezes with one leg inside, awkwardly straddling the entrance.
her eyes fall on blonde hair in waves that cascade down the length of a woman’s back. she is stretching out her arms with her back facing jungeun, long and thin limbs over her head. her clothes are a deep cobalt color. she suspects that it’s a skating costume. jungeun puts two and two together, blanches when she realizes she needs to get out of the room but the sight is much too captivating for her to pull away her gaze.
“jungeun? what are you doing?”
shocked by a loud voice from behind her, jungeun stumbles into the room and the woman in cobalt stops stretching, looks in the direction of the door. jungeun sees jiwoo and yerim by the entrance.
“welcome back jiwoo. how was your short program?” the woman in cobalt asks. a friendly smile spreads across her face. jungeun feels something warm spread across her cheeks at the sight. “and, is your friend okay?”
“i’m—i’m fine,” jungeun manages to get out, in between glancing at the stranger skater and not. she backs up to settle next to jiwoo’s side. she lets out a small laugh as she wraps her arm around jiwoo’s shoulder. “gosh, i was looking for you, but i guess i beat you here. what took you so long?”
as jiwoo talks about her short program, yerim interjecting with her own outbursts of excitement, jungeun cannot keep her eyes off of the woman in cobalt while she listens from the side.
the woman in cobalt stops the riveting discussion on this year’s top picks for the grand prix to leave for her performance. moving out of her way to the door, jungeun swears that she locks eyes with her up until she’s out of the room.
jiwoo ushers jungeun and yerim back into the stands after a few snacks in the cafeteria. they sit beside a dark haired woman by the name of sooyoung they’d seen skate moments before jiwoo earlier in the day (“she’s, like, such an amazing skater!” jiwoo exclaims, and jungeun can literally see the hearts in her eyes while she talks about the girl next to her). the introductions are relatively short as an announcement is made for the next competitor to come onto the ice.
“up next, last year's grand prix silver medalist, jung jinsoul will be performing her 2018 short program, singing in the rain, choreographed by…”
“oh my gosh,” she hears jiwoo next to her gasp, “it’s already jinsoul’s turn! i’m so glad we made it.”
she doesn’t understand the hype at first. jungeun takes a look at the skater coming onto the ice and the first thing she sees is shimmering cobalt—the same shade that was worn by the woman in jiwoo's dressing room.
the blonde skater skirts around the ice with an elegance jungeun's unfamiliar with. an air of confidence surrounds her. she watches as the skater moves to the center of the rink, coming to a slow stop. jungeun feels her breath stop in her throat as she watches jinsoul draw her arms together in front of her, readies herself. the arena falls silent.
(i can't take my eyes off of her.)
the music plays. jungeun's heart starts beating again. jinsoul pushes off the ice, and starts to skate.
jiwoo and yerim are the first to stand up, sooyoung next, and jungeun follows them with a blank face to the kiss and cry outside of the rink. she hears the three chattering on about jung jinsoul's performance, but jungeun doesn't really listen to them. she’s caught up in her own thoughts about the performance.
jinsoul's fluid, dance-like movements combined with instances of sharp, precise step sequences stay vivid in her memory. there hadn't been a single instance where jungeun wanted to look away—couldn't, because the skater on the ice demanded all of her attention, and jungeun gave everything she had to jung jinsoul in that moment without hesitation.
she spots jinsoul's cobalt costume in the near distance as their group approaches the kiss and cry. there's laughter that cuts through the loud chatter. she watches from the edge of the group as jinsoul high-fives sooyoung and noogies jiwoo.
"good show out there, jung," sooyoung offers a wry smile, a challenging tone laced in her voice, “you might actually have a chance against me and jeon heejin for the gold this year."
"just wait, ha sooyoung, keep talking like that and it'll be in my hands before you know it."
"guys," jiwoo whines, pulling the other two skaters into her arms and hugging them close, "can't we save this weird, friendly, competitive, egging-each-other-on flirting for after the competition and just congratulate each other like normal people?"
there's boisterous laughter as everyone agrees. yerim finds a way to meander into their conversation, and with a tug of jiwoo's hand jungeun gets pulled in, too.
"you guys did great today," she decides to say, nodding in jiwoo and sooyoung's direction. when she looks at jinsoul, her eyes linger a little too long. "seriously, you make skating look so easy."
"it's because it's fun," jinsoul returns jungeun's gaze. the way she looks back at her brings warmth to her cheeks. "when you're having fun, it's all you can think about."
the ice rink seems chillier today.
jungeun breathes warm air into her hands, rubs them together to keep them toasty. no matter how many times she comes back to the rink, she can't get used to the low temperature.
she's the first one at the rink. early mornings are her favorite time to slip on her skates, lacing them tight against her feet, take the first glide on unmarred ice. sunlight peaks through small windows towards the top of the ice rink's walls, but offers little warmth. she takes a breath in, then exhales. jungeun sees her breath in the air in soft, cloudy wisps.
she steps onto the ice, right foot first then pushes off with her left. the best way for her to warm up is to make her way around the perimeter of the rink in laps slowly but steadily. this is how she likes to spend her mornings: mindlessly skating around on the fresh ice with just her thoughts and the quiet humming of the air conditioner in the background.
jungeun skates, but she's not a figure skater like jiwoo. jumps and leaps across the ice are fun to watch, but she can't imagine doing them herself. she's tried to learn the simpler techniques, finds that she falls hard and jungeun would rather save herself the pain than eat shit after trying once or twice.
tricks aren’t for her. or rather: performing isn’t what she’s looking for in skating. jungeun skates because it helps her clear her head when life gets to be too much. her mind goes blank once her feet hit the ice. it’s nice to not think about anything. she gets a chance to enjoy herself for once.
(“it’s because it’s fun,” she remembers jinsoul saying to her before, “when you’re having fun, it’s all you can think about.”)
she loves ice skating—jungeun would even go as far to say it’s fun—but the way jinsoul skates and the way she skates seem like it’s two different definitions of the very word.
there shouldn’t be any reason why she’s thinking about comparing herself to jinsoul, but jungeun stops halfway on the shorter side of the ice rink’s perimeter and looks out to the center. she imagines herself in a sparkling outfit with a fancy sleeve, maybe something that shows off her shoulders, a short trail of sheer fabric that wraps around her waist like a skirt. maybe the outfit is red, or maybe it’s black, and she imagines herself in the center of the ice rink about to prepare for some kind of performance.
it’d start out strong. jungeun has always enjoyed the shows where the performer boldly declares their story at the beginning, already immersed in the performance from the minute the music starts and the ice is marred by skates. then it would transition to something slower, to show that there’s a change in the emotion she’s trying to portray. a couple of glides around the ice, maybe a jump or two, and then the music would pick up its tempo once more and she’d finish the show just as boldly as she started it.
before she knows it, she’s out in the middle of the ice rink with sweat dotting along the sides of her face, panting. she looks back at where she had been, sees trails of zig-zags and smooth lines behind her. when did she do that? she can’t remember even moving away from the edge of the rink, but for some reason—jungeun doesn’t mind the way she feels right now. her imagination got the best of her, but part of her wishes that it’d been real.
it’s days like this she thinks about working on her jumps.
“jungie! look who i have with me today!”
jiwoo’s voice echos inside the ice rink. jungeun looks up from where she’d been sitting in the bleachers, untying her skates from her feet. her eyes go wide as she sees the familiar faces standing on either side of jiwoo.
“hey,” sooyoung greets cooly. she waves her hand and jungeun nods at her in acknowledgement.
“sorry for crashing,” says jinsoul, and jungeun lamely nods at her as well. the blonde skater’s lips ease into a smile; jungeun thinks her heart’s stopped. “jiwoo’s always wanted to have us come over for some casual skating. something about home turf pride, and all that.”
“i just wanted to share a piece of myself with you guys,” jiwoo pouts, crossing her arms over her chest. jungeun doesn’t miss the way sooyoung laughs at how childish the shorter girl reacts, how she pokes jiwoo’s cheek to tease her and sees her best friend’s face go beet red.
she makes a note to ask about that later.
“it’s cool,” jungeun says in reply. she stands up from the bleachers and sets her skates down beside her, laces messy on the floor. “i was just finishing up here. do you want me to get out of your way?” she offers.
jiwoo whines immediately out of protest, obviously annoyed that she would even ask that to begin with. “don’t go! you don’t have to skate with us, but we just got here—can’t you hang out with us for a little bit?”
jungeun glances in sooyoung’s direction. the dark haired girl shrugs, shaking her head. “you’re not in our way. i don’t mind an audience to show off to,” she adds with a hint of mischief. she probably says that to annoy jiwoo who’s still pouting.
then she looks at jinsoul, who smiles back at her warmly with closed eyes, says nothing. maybe she doesn’t have to say anything at all. jungeun sighs.
“i’ll… just sit here, then. i have some homework to catch up on anyway.”
and so, jungeun stays at the ice rink for a little longer today.
sooyoung and jiwoo seemed like opposites at first, but the more jungeun observes them from the sidelines, the more she feels like she’s peeping in on two people who seem a little more than just friends. her homework is long forgotten, by this point; not that she’d expect to get it done anyway, but the excuse to stay put even though she’d finished up hours ago quickly dissolved.
she watches jiwoo twirl around on the ice with the widest grin on her face, cheeks dusted in pink, laughing over something jinsoul did. it’s nice to see her best friend happy. jungeun doesn’t need much else in the world if it means jiwoo could always be like this.
(she loves her best friend a lot, okay?)
humming to herself, her gaze moves from the pair to jinsoul, who’s grinning unabashedly as she poses funnily in front of them. it’s hard to imagine that the charismatic and enchanting jung jinsoul that she had first witnessed that day is the same woman who’s trying to make jiwoo laugh until she cries.
while looking in her direction, jinsoul must have felt her gaze on her the whole time. she turns around to look at her, waving. she skates over to the edge of the rink so that she’s closer to where jungeun’s sitting. jungeun immediately straightens in her seat, inclined to seem a bit more formal in front of jinsoul.
“how’s your homework going?” the blonde asks her. jungeun brushes back locks of her own brown hair over her shoulder, self-conscious of her appearance now that someone (jinsoul) is here to talk.
“it’s going,” she lies, glancing down at her empty notebook pages. “just taking a little break from it. you guys look like you’re having fun out there.”
“sure are. it’s a blast out there right now,” jinsoul laughs quietly. without a prompt to go on, she continues to talk about a topic she’ll bring up herself. “sooyoung’s always had a stick up her ass when it comes to skating. she wants to be the best and she’s confident that she is, so she always wants to show off.”
there’s a moment where jungeun sees something in jinsoul’s eyes that she can’t quite put a name to, doesn’t know what that look is but knows what it means when she catches jinsoul looking in sooyoung’s direction. the blonde skater continues, “but when she’s around jiwoo, her wanting to show off just seems a little different. it’s not about showing people she’s got what it takes to be number one—it’s…”
“it’s like she’s showing off to impress her, right?”
“oh wow,” jinsoul is mildly surprised by the way jungeun finishes the sentence for her. “that’s exactly it. can you read minds?”
jungeun shakes her head. “it’s kind of obvious. jiwoo’s blushing like a school girl over there. honestly, i can’t remember a time i saw her like this and we’re, like, best friends for life. were they always like this?”
“as far as i know? yeah, they have. sooyoung approached her first when jiwoo just debuted the other year.”
she finds it interesting that she’s hearing about jiwoo’s love life from someone other than the girl herself. jungeun thinks it’s cute, but she’ll have to bring up how peeved she is about hearing about this secondhand when she asks about what sooyoung is to her.
“so,” jinsoul speaks up again, “what about you?”
“what about me?”
“you skate too, but i’ve never seen you at the competitions. jiwoo’s talked about how she roped her friend into skating, but i always thought she’d bring them into the limelight, too. so you could compete together.”
“i’m…” she doesn’t know what to say at first. it’s true—jiwoo had always tried to convince her to join the competitive world of figure skating when she started teaching her how to move on the ice. the fear of failure after trying to learn the different jumps had been enough to scare her away from the thought, though, and jungeun enjoyed the sport more when it was just her hobby—not a job like jiwoo’s. “i’m a lot happier just like this.”
jungeun falls quiet. jinsoul hums to fill the silence. as they sit in silence, they watch jiwoo and sooyoung hold hands and skate in laps along the ice rink’s edge. jungeun only glances at jinsoul’s back turned to her when she hears her say something, after a long moment.
“i’d love to see you skate sometime,” jinsoul murmurs, craning her head over her shoulder to catch her gaze again. “if you’d let me.”
“oh,” jungeun looks away, anywhere but at jinsoul’s eyes on her. she nods slowly. “sure.”
even after jinsoul leaves her to go skate around with sooyoung and jiwoo, she can only think about the blonde skater seeing her on the ice. it’s nerve-wreaking; jinsoul is a professional, and jungeun isn’t. jinsoul’s trained and jungeun can barely do a simple toe jump or a step sequence. frankly, she pales in comparison.
would jinsoul find her skating as captivating as jungeun found hers?