Work Text:
Though the grounds of Dalton were remarkably calm, the air was tense around Julian and Sebastian. They had embraced when Sebastian found him, but they had both pulled away with memories rushing back to them. The day that Julian left Paris created space between them emotionally as well as physically, but neither wanted to be the first to bring it up. Though each felt awkward by the others’ presence, genuine smiles were shared as they caught back up.
When he had shared all he cared to of Hell Night, and after noticing Sebastian stalling for a bit, Julian broke the ice. “Why are you here?”
“I thought that was obvious. I thought you were dead, J.”
“A call to dispel that concern wouldn’t have sufficed?”
“Perhaps, but I wanted to see you in person. It’s been so long, kitten.”
“Don’t call me that. Not when it’s your fault you haven’t seen me in person.” Julian stalked off a few paces ahead of him in annoyance. He still couldn’t believe how hurt he was by some stranger he met in France, but he wasn’t going to let him play with his emotions again.
“That means you waited.” Something about how excited he sounded made Julian slow again. “It’s my fault, you confirmed it, but I already assumed it. Julian, I was in torment over you, and I truly didn’t know what I was going to do. I’d never been in that position before. By the time I realized what I wanted, what I needed, I ran, but,” his arms gestured weakly in defeat. “I was too late. Obviously. And you must hate me for it.”
Julian was thankful as always for his sunglasses. The admission surprised him, and he wasn’t sure what his eyes might have betrayed when he was caught off guard like that. “You’re telling me this now.”
Sebastian’s head hung slightly. “Look, I know I could’ve caught the next flight. It’s just that, that wasn’t the deal. I know I could’ve called. And you know I did. Everytime that I wanted to clear up the mistake though, I choked. Is that what you want to hear? That I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me anyway? Or that you had already moved on? That maybe I could keep some form of contact as long as we just pretended that we were okay with what happened?” He moved to Julian, and Julian allowed him to rest his hands upon his shoulders. “I wasn’t okay when I thought you had died. That’s why I’m here. I thought I had lost you permanently , Julian. After something like that, there was no way I could allow myself to act so cowardly anymore. I had to make things right because I think we deserve a second chance, kitten.”
“Seb, I’m with Logan,” Julian finally blurted out.
Sebastian’s hopeful face fell. Julian felt bad that it had to come out like this. He took him by the arm and resumed walking as he proceeded carefully, attempting to not upset him further.
“I don’t know where it’ll go, or how it’s even happened. But I still love him. So we’re giving it a shot. And I finally feel happy.”
Sebastian smiled, a kind smile that did not prepare Julian for the words to follow. “I’m glad you are, I really am. But I’m not sure you actually are. You just think you are.”
“Excuse me?” He let go of Sebastian’s arm.
“He’s just not good for you, and I’m worried if this goes on you’ll just figure that out the hard way.”
“Don’t you think I haven’t thought about that? But I’m willing to risk it anyway. I mean, who are you to tell me not to? You don’t even know him.”
“I know how much he’s hurt you. I was there when he wasn’t, remember?”
Julian squeezed his eyes shut, hating how vulnerable he felt around this ex-lover, this friend, whoever he was to him. “Don’t do this, Sebastian. We can’t do this now for the same reason we wouldn’t let ourselves get into anything too serious in Paris, for the same reason we didn’t work out that time. What happened, happened. And I’ll always care about you. I’m actually glad you’re here. That you hadn’t forgotten me. But if you’ve come here just to try to get back whatever we had, it might have been better if you did forget me.”
Julian finally paused and turned around when he realized Sebastian had stopped walking, staring at a flower bed. A flower bed planted with forget-me-nots. He leaned down to pluck a few of the small flowers between his fingers, smiling more softly than before.
Julian took off his glasses, realizing there really was no point in hiding anything around this boy. “Sebastian…”
Eyes still fixed on the blooms, he began to sing quietly.
When you were lonely, you needed a man
Someone to lean on, well I understand
It’s only natural, but why did it have to be me?
Sebastian glanced up with a teasing pout. Julian laughed, a mirthful Stuart laugh at the absurdity of this boy, walking around singing here at his school in Ohio just as he did in the streets of Paris.
“Wow, you poor, ridiculous boy.” Julian’s eyes glittered mischievously as turned to continue walking. Sebastian stood to follow with a smirk of his own as he continued singing, bolder now.
Nights can be empty, and nights can be cold
So you were looking for someone to hold
That’s only natural, but why did it have to be me?
Perhaps he should not have encouraged it, but it was just so easy being like this with Sebastian. Teasing and flirting was the name of the game, and it was still so comfortable to them. So, he batted his eyelashes and slid his Ray-Bans back on, feigning swooning against the exterior of Stuart house as they approached the entrance.
I was so lonesome, I was blue
I couldn’t help it, it had to be you and I
Always thought you knew the reason why
Sebastian grinned with delight at Julian’s participation, watching the way his hips moved to the song. He slid an arm around the actor’s waist and pulled him close, and Julian allowed it.
I only wanted a little love affair
Now I can see you are beginning to care
Julian slapped away those slender hands when they attempted to slide a little too low, feigning a look of scandal and making Sebastian chase him up the steps to the front door.
But baby, believe me
It’s better to forget me
As the two swept into the foyer of the dormitory, Sebastian slid in front of him. One hand moved to rest on Julian’s waist again, and the other held his hand. Then they were dancing, rocking their hips to the beat, and twirling into the empty common room as Sebastian continued humming the tune. Julian laughed in delight as they swayed together through the halls, and he was reminded of dancing in Paris. Remembering how it had meant something back then, remembering how it felt to lose that, killed the mood for him, and he abruptly pulled away.
Sebastian looked at him in questioning. Julian turned back on the histrionics, as they were always easier than the real emotions.
Men are the toys in the game that you play
When you get tired you throw ‘em away
That’s only natural, but why did it have to be me?
The last line came out more bitter than intended. Julian hurried out of the room toward the stairs, but if he had hoped to not be followed this time, he had no such luck. On the contrary, he was frozen midway up the staircase when he heard the next verse.
Falling in love with a boy like you
Happens so quickly, there’s nothing to do
It’s only natural, but why did it have to be me?
Julian’s face was entirely serious now, singing the words more intently as he took deliberate steps back down toward the boy at the base of the stairs.
I was so lonesome, I was blue
I couldn’t help it, it had to be you and I
Always thought you knew the reason why
He shook his head, staring pointedly at Sebastian once they were at eye level.
I only wanted a little love affair
Now I can see you are beginning to care
“ Kitten .” Sebastian tried to pull him in by the waist, by the arm, over and over, but Julian finally tried to resist and pull away.
But baby, believe me
It’s better to forget me
When he finally let go, Julian dared to look up one more time. He didn’t step away, not even when Sebastian titled his chin up closer to his own face. In any other timeline, it would have been so easy to just close that distance between them as he stared into Sebastian’s eyes, nearly hypnotized by the pretty green specks. Green. Logan .
And just like that, Julian hurried away, not allowing any more backwards glances. They had their time, but even Sebastian had to have known it was always Logan. Julian was more sure of it than ever.
He headed immediately for Logan’s room, but his boyfriend was actually standing in the hallway. “Who was that?”
“No one. At least not anymore. He’s a virtual stranger.”
“Do you often take it upon yourself to sing flirtatious duets with strangers?”
So he at least heard, if not saw, something. “On occasion.” Logan’s eyes flared up, and Julian suddenly noticed how tense he looked. Knowing Logan to be a jealous lover in the past, he knew he ought to diffuse the situation quickly. He rolled his eyes and moved to him, taking one of Logan’s clenched fists in his hands. “It’s not like it meant anything, Lo. I’ve come right back to you, haven’t I?” He kissed Logan’s hand in an attempt at reassurance.
Logan, though he didn’t seem exactly angry , didn’t seem much calmer. In an instant, Julian found himself backed against the wall, Logan’s face close to his. “If you must flirt with mysterious guys and girls from other countries on a regular basis, are you able to promise you’ll always come right back to me after?”
“I was kidding, Lo. This was an outlier. He’s an outlier. I’m not gonna stop being me , but I’m not going to be flirting with other people just for the hell of it when I have you right here.”
Logan leaned in closer to Julian, pressing him against the wall more firmly with his own body. Julian hummed in approval at the feeling. “I know, but I still don’t like him .” He began trailing kisses down Julian’s neck. Julian’s breath caught in his throat. “I think he needs to learn you’re mine now.” Logan accentuated the words with a bite, and not a very gentle one, at that. Julian failed to conceal a strangled moan as Logan attacked his skin. “And maybe I ought to remind you of that fact, too, while I’m at it.”
That night, Julian learned that he didn’t actually have to worry about having a jealous boyfriend. In fact, he learned that he actually quite liked it.