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“Here lies Alex Danvers, who refused to make safe choices.” Maggie’s voice held more anger than Alex had ever heard in it, she could tell that even through the drug haze. Maggie went on, “Your sister is bulletproof. Bulletproof. That means that when people point guns at her, the smart thing to do is to stand behind her, not throw yourself in front of her and let your decidedly NOT bulletproof body get riddled with bullets.” The volume of her voice rose as she went on until she was practically shouting at the end.
“Maggie,” Lucy’s voice was quiet but firm as she put herself between Maggie and the hospital bed Alex was laying in. Alex couldn’t see either of their faces with Lucy’s body blocking her view but obviously something passed between them because Maggie abruptly stormed out of the room. Alex saw the look Kara gave Lucy if only because it involved a very not subtle nod towards Alex before she followed Maggie out of the room, obviously going to talk to her, and probably commiserate.
Lucy stood with her back to Alex for a long moment before she sighed and turned back to the bed, sitting in the chair next to it. She reached out and gently took hold of Alex’s hand, the one attached to the arm that did not currently have an IV line stuck in it. She lifted it to her lips and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it before lowering it to the bed again, but she didn’t let go, her grip firm, acting as a lifeline anchoring Alex to reality.
“I think Maggie might be mad at me,” Alex tried to quip, regretting it when she saw the way Lucy’s eyes flashed.
“She’s not the only one.” Lucy’s voice was clipped, the short, sharp tone she used with defense attorneys and her father. Alex tried to remove her hand from Lucy’s but her attempt to tug it free caused Lucy to tighten her grip to an almost painful pressure which only subsided when Alex stopped trying to pull away.
There was a pause while Lucy collected her thoughts, her eyes closed as she obviously fought down her emotions and gathered the words she wanted. “I know we were all upset after that fight earlier and we still have a lot to talk to through on that point, but you going out and engaging in reckless, self-destructive behavior is not the answer.”
“That is not what I was doing!” Alex protested.
“Yes, it was.” Lucy wasn’t even arguing, just stating facts. “It’s what you always do when you’re upset. You get drunk, you get in fights, you find the nearest cliff and throw yourself over it. And I think I can safely speak for Maggie as well as myself when I say that we don’t appreciate you using your preferred method of self harm to get back at us because you were angry at us.”
Alex was stung. “If I was trying to get back at you I’m sure I could think of something better than hurting myself.”
“I couldn’t.” The admission was said so softly Alex almost missed it and the silence that followed seemed louder than thunder ringing in Alex’s ears. She just stared at Lucy in shock, trying to take in the truth of everything that accompanied that quiet confession.
“Maggie couldn’t either,” Lucy continued. “You’re that important to us. We’re that important to each other. Be mad, go kick the asses of every new agent in the sparring ring, go to the gun range and use half the defense budget on bullets if you have to, but don’t hurt yourself, don’t take unnecessary risks with your safety. Don’t die, Alex.” Her voice cracked at the end and Alex saw the tears before she managed to turn her face away to try to hide them.
Alex swallowed hard as she tried to find the right words, but Lucy got herself under control, wiping the tears away with her free hand before she turned back to face Alex, her voice steady again. “Neither of us wants to write your eulogy. And I’m fairly sure you want a better epitaph than what Maggie came up with earlier, because right now I’m inclined to agree with her on that one.” There was a small smile on her face that Alex tentatively tried to match even though her mind was reeling.
Then her face shifted and her shoulders straightened and Alex recognized Director Lane speaking as she continued. “Agent Danvers, in light of your multiple bullet wounds you are on a mandatory leave of absence, pending psychological evaluation from the counselor of your choice, and medical clearance from the DEO’s physician of choice, which in this case means someone you can’t bully or intimidate into giving you clearance weeks before you ought to have it.” The raised eyebrow that accompanied that last part was less Director Lane and more Girlfriend Lucy who knew Alex pretty well.
Alex couldn’t help but smile as she tilted her head in acknowledgement of the point, though mentally she was already running through the choices and trying to figure out who that could be and if she could find a way around that particular restriction. The smile faded as she caught sight of Maggie standing just outside the door, obviously indecisive about entering.
Lucy followed her gaze and gave her hand a quick squeeze before letting go and standing up, moving towards the door and opening it. They exchanged a quick hug as Maggie came in.
“Where’s Kara?” Lucy asked, one hand holding the door open still.
“Drowning her feelings in cheesy fries and donuts in the mess.” Maggie answered.
“I’d better go help her then,” Lucy answered, exiting before either of her girlfriends could protest, the door closing with a quiet snick behind her.
There was a moment of awkward silence before Maggie spoke. “Did Lucy yell at you too?”
“Kind of,” Alex admitted. “She said she agreed with your epitaph for me and put me on mandatory leave.” She took a deep breath before plunging on, “and she said I was being reckless and self-destructive and hurting you, both of you, by hurting myself.”
Maggie finally looked at Alex, taking in the seriousness of her face and nodding her head slowly. “You are. You do.”
Alex nodded right back at her, matching the pace of her slow bobbing up and down. “I think you might be right.”
She watched the tension drain out of Maggie, who finally came over and sat down in the chair Lucy had vacated, putting her face in her hands as she took a couple of deep breaths. “Damnit, Danvers, I’m trying not to cry yet.”
Alex reached her free hand out as far as it would go, not quite able to touch Maggie, but when she began shifting in the bed, trying to extend her hand a bit further, the noise of the movement made Maggie look up and wide-eyed she moved into Alex’s touch, trying to keep her still on the bed. “Hey, whoa, no, you’re not supposed to be moving around.”
“I needed to touch you,” Alex explained, her hand still wrapped around Maggie’s arm, feeling like she was a kite string anchoring Maggie to the ground now as Maggie stood up and swayed a bit on her feet as she hovered at the side of the bed.
“I’m sorry,” Alex whispered.
“I know,” Maggie whispered back and leaned down towards Alex, touching their foreheads together. “Stop doing stupid things.”
Alex nodded, the movement of her head causing Maggie to nod along with her.
“Okay,” Maggie said it very quietly, like a secret before leaning back and sitting down in the chair again, holding onto Alex’s hand as she settled. “This is not going to get you out of continuing our earlier discussion that devolved into an argument, you know.” She said it conversationally and Alex wrinkled up her face even as she agreed.
“I know.”
The door opened and Lucy came back in with Kara trailing her. Lucy went right to stand behind Maggie, resting her hands on Maggie’s shoulders and squeezing lightly.
Kara went to stand at the foot of the bed and glare at her sister. Alex cleared her expression and looked at Kara with a blank expression of polite inquiry.
“You’re a dummy,” Kara finally said.
“So I’ve been told,” Alex agreed.
“You owe me all of the Great British Bake Off and at least two quarts of chunky monkey.”
“Okay,” Alex kept her expression neutral, but it was clear she was trying not to smile.
“I’m also telling Eliza on you.”
“Ouch, harsh,” Alex winced, the smile fading a bit before Kara came around to the side of the bed Maggie and Lucy weren’t on and carefully moved in to give Alex as much of a hug as she could around all the bandages and various cords.
Alex let go of Maggie’s hand to wrap her arms around her sister, holding her as tightly as she could, feeling Kara relax against her with a slight shudder. “Sssh, sssh, I’m okay. It’s okay. I’m alright.”
“No you’re not,” Kara mumbled against her shoulder.
“Okay, no, I’m not,” Alex agreed, “but I will be. I’ll get better.” She looked over at Maggie and Lucy as she said it, willing them to hear the double promise in her words, of mental healing as well as physical.
Kara finally pulled away from her, her head tilting towards the door in a listening gesture all of them recognized. She paused though, torn between duty and duty.
“Go on,” Alex waved her onward, “I’m okay. I’ve got Lucy and Maggie and probably half the division keeping an eye on me.”
Kara gave a grin at that before she disappeared out the door in a blur of speed, leaving the three of them alone together.
“What now?” Alex asked her girlfriends, sinking back against the bed, feeling exhaustion take over.
“Now is the part where you stop fighting the drugs and sleep,” Lucy said, coming forward to press the buttons to adjust the bed so Alex was reclining more.
“And later?” Alex yawned trying to ask.
“Later?” Maggie tilted her head looking first at Alex, then at Lucy. “Later, we talk, heal, all that healthy stuff. Okay?”
Alex nodded and reached out her hand, wanting both of them, and Lucy pulled up another chair next to Maggie’s, leaning against her side as they both reached out to hold her hand, all of them needing the contact, and they stayed that way until Alex fell asleep.