Chapter Text
Like the detective he is, Shinichi won’t stop looking until he finds an answer.
Perhaps it’s true that romance is a department in which he still has much to learn, but over the course of the two years he’s spent with Kaito, he’s getting there.
In his library, Shinichi sits at his father’s desk, taking on a pose not unlike the one his fictional hero is said to take when in the midst of some deep thinking, just as he is. Kaito’s words from their early morning exchange are still reeling in his head and recent memories preceding the event are surfacing in his foolish attempt to come up with reasons that their end must be some sort of cruel joke.
It’s been a few days since then and just two or three days shy of a full week since that call.
(“Oi, you need to take better care of yourself.”)
Maybe Kaito’s just being the decent human being he is, but why would he say such a thing when he’s about to end a two-year relationship over the phone? Maybe Shinichi’s reading too much into it, but Kaito must still care if he can say such things because he swears he heard an underlying sense of fondness beneath that exasperation.
(“Maybe we jumped into this too fast. Shinichi, I... let’s break up.”)
Two years is awfully late to claim such things, right? The detective swallows, wanting to find some sort of reason hidden in there. Jumped into what? Their relationship? People do it all the time, right? Or was it just deciding to start a same-sex relationship?
Shinichi bristles, looking visibly distressed. Their relationship did begin at the age of fourteen, which some may claim is quote-unquote too young to make such decisions. He knows LGBTQA+ citizens still have yet to reach full equality. Maybe Kaito is uncomfortable given that the detective’s fame grows larger and larger with every case.
(Truth be told, Shinichi isn’t gay. He liked Ran long before he met Kaito, but it was only after becoming closer to the other that he started developing feelings. Truth be told, Kaito isn’t gay, but he’s confirmed himself to be bisexual. Shinichi isn’t sure if the same label applies to him.)
And with his constant and steady rise to fame, it only gets harder trying to hide his private life from the nosy busybodies who have nothing better to do than hound a high schooler with questions. Sure, he loves the attention, but it’s frustrating when he just wants to have some time with his boyfriend.
(Ex-boyfriend.)
Maybe Kaito is jealous? Worried? Shinichi has a lot of fans—dominated mostly by a massive population of females. To hell with those fans. The detective doesn’t care for them as much as he should when he has (read: had) a boyfriend as loving and as perfect as Kaito.
No... Kaito knows how to talk about his feelings. He’s the one who pulled Shinichi’s head out of his arse the first time his ego had inflated. He’s the one who made sure Shinichi knows he won’t get jealous because of random fan girls waxing poetry for him in the form of love letters that end up in his mailbox.
Shinichi bites his lip. What if Kaito found someone else? For a while now, he’s been talking about two new students that his class had welcomed. Maybe one of them captured—
No. Shinichi remembers that the other had made a rather sound promise at the beginning of their relationship to stay faithful no matter what and the detective only returned the sentiment. Kaito had been the first to say I love you and is always the last to say Goodnight! when they’re texting during those late hours.
And earlier this month, Kaito had given him a special pair of white fabric gloves that apparently belonged to his father. The magician claimed that he remembered Shinichi mentioning that he needs to get a pair of gloves for when he runs into a crime scene and wants to avoid leaving any prints behind that would contaminate any evidence.
Although, the other had also given Shinichi specific instructions on how to wash them that the latter failed to follow, resulting in the gloves shrinking before he even got to use them a second time. Maybe Kaito felt like everything he says goes in one ear and out the other? Maybe Kaito thinks he’s never listening? Maybe Kaito feels like Shinichi is so ungrateful to have received such a mundane gift and decided to ruin it out of spite?
(Shinichi had actually been distracted upon learning that Kaito had painstakingly embroidered K.S. along the inner cuffing of both gloves just for him. And he’s never seen gloves with this design before!)
(He wishes that he could be a child again for the gloves are too small now and he wants to wear such a thoughtful gift for even a few more hours.)
Shinichi drops his face into his hands, fingers threading through his bangs. Why? Why did Kaito break up with him? Why now?
Unable to keep his thoughts to himself, he wonders for a moment if he should call Ran, but decides against it because she’s already done so much for him despite it not having been that long. His next thought is his parents because there is no way he’s going to rant to Sonoko of all people, but he’s certain that his mother will drag his father out of any business they might be doing to come coddle him and possibly even pay a visit to Kaito.
And he doesn’t wish his parents’ quiet anger on even the worst of criminals.
Maybe this is it, he thinks closing his eyes. Perhaps what he and Kaito had is just the product of curiosity and mistaken feelings.
(They were fourteen, after all, and many adults argue that fourteen is too young to be making quote-unquote life-changing decisions, correct?)
“This is it, then,” he murmurs.