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a grey and grassy bridge paints the space between two roads, protecting the river below it from the everyday life of humanity. the midnight moon shines down on it, illuminating the surface and making the gravel and sand seem to shine a bit. the bridge is barren, empty besides two young boys, both of which have given up on their respective lives.
donghyuck wasn't anticipating seeing another day.
another day alone in a house filled with other people, another day in a neighborhood where he and mark's initials are carved into a tall tree at the end of, another day in a life that has given him nothing in return except a void and ache in his chest.
in the pocket of his red hoodie, there's a polaroid mark had taken a few nights before. before he left in the middle of the night while donghyuck was asleep. before he stopped answering donghyuck's texts and calls. before he disappeared from donghyuck's life without a trace. he plays around with the photo, twirls it around in his fingers as the memory of that night and a collection of questions nag at the back of his mind.
he doesn't exactly take notice of the other boy. he knows he's there, he knows he isn't alone on the bridge. he knows this, yet it doesn't exactly register in his mind that there's another person, another soul on this bridge with him. another person just like him, ready for everything around them to end.
he's been busy thinking. thinking of reasons why he should stay. reasons why he shouldn't. one outweighs the other.
he feels like he's given it all he possibly can, all the energy he could possibly muster up has been spent trying to survive countless days on this big blue and green rock in the middle of space.
he's too caught up in his thoughts. so caught up that he doesn't notice the other boy inching closer to him.
"what's your name?" the seemingly far away soft voice of a stranger interrupts his musings. he almost brushes it off, doubting that what he hears is real. he does that often.
instead he turns to the sound of it. he realizes the voice isn't as far away as he thought it was.
"donghyuck." he wonders if he should even be talking to this stranger, if he should be entertaining the idea of beginning something new at a place where things end.
"renjun." he can tell by the shakiness in his voice, the red bags under glassy eyes, that the other boy has been crying. he almost wonders why, then remembers where they are and that it isn't his business either way.
the conversation ends there, neither of them knowing exactly what to say. neither of them even sure if they want to go through with this or not. donghyuck is back to thinking.
before now, he had a very firm grip. had control over impulses and urges. control over the thought of wanting to end everything. before now, any attempt he's made had failed, always waking up in his bed the next day with the sheets half off and a drool stain on his pillow.
"i'm scared," is the next thing to come out of renjun's mouth. he sounds vulnerable, something that might've made donghyuck feel bad if he thought he was capable of feeling anymore.
donghyuck takes a deep breath through his nose before answering, "me too."
the air around them fills with silence again, a heavy one tinted with other feelings that can't quite be deciphered by the two of them. renjun is tracing shapes into the sand on the ground and donghyuck is still playing around with the photo in his pocket.
"do you believe in god?" renjun asks, looking over at donghyuck from his spot in the cement.
donghyuck breathes out, then focuses his eyes on a car speeding down one of the roads. "no, not really."
renjun nods, "i do," he starts, "i think he'll hate me if i go through with this." his voice is small and weak.
donghyuck knows what he says is insensitive, but he can't stop himself. "i think if he liked you in the first place, you wouldn't be standing on a bridge waiting to jump off of it."
he can hear renjun swallow. "i guess you're right."
the waves in the body of water below them crash against each other, and donghyuck wonders how much it would hurt to fall on top of them from such a high distance.
they continue talking, sentences detached from a real subject as they speak whatever thought comes to their minds. gaps of silence surround them between each topic, thinking of what to say next. it goes on like this until it's around four in the morning and both of them are too tired and worn out to continue meaningless conversations about nonsense.
"why are you here?" renjun asks, and it catches donghyuck off guard.
he sits on the thought for a moment before simply answering, "life."
renjun only nods at the answer.
"can't take it anymore?" he questions, then looks at donghyuck's face for an answer.
"what about you?" donghyuck asks back.
renjun is quiet for half a minute then replies, "same."
the silence envelopes them again. the sun peeks out from the line that separates the sea and the sky and for a moment everything seems okay.
"i won't jump if you won't," renjun spits out, and then wishes he could take it back because it was just something he thought in the moment that pushed its way up his throat and out of his mouth.
donghyuck looks at him, then back out at the horizon. he takes a deep breath.
"okay."
so they get up from their places on the cement bridge, brush off the sand that collected on their clothes, and turn towards each other.
renjun pulls a phone out of his pocket and holds it out in front of donghyuck's face. donghyuck gets the message and takes the phone, typing his number in then giving it back. renjun smiles at him.
"have a good summer, donghyuck."
"yeah," donghyuck says back, "have a good summer."