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Thomas watched Elodie and Guy-Man have a quiet conversation at the front door of the house. She was just leaving after having checked up on their progress with the album, but then mentioned that she had a date that she needed to get to. He was rather wistful as she smiled proudly at Guy-Man after he explained that they should be finishing up soon for the album. She was so radiant and beautiful, Thomas almost didn’t want her to go when she was finally descending the steps of the house and towards her car.
When Guy-Man turned around Thomas was already looking the other way, away from the door.
“Thomas?”
“Yes?”
“This might be a bit strange to ask, but have you ever actually left the house?”
Thomas looked at Guy-Man curiously. “Well, I left it when I talked to that band. Sometimes I sit and the roof. Oh! And…” He stopped. “I was out in the yard when I watched my parents leave…And when I died, I was in the hospital. I flew all the way back home”
Guy-Man brushed away a strand of his hair. “So you’ve never left your house’s property after that?”
“No…”
“Have you tried?”
Thomas shrugged. “No...I never really thought about it before. I had no reason to leave, so I never did.”
Guy-Man sat down on the chair that was next to Thomas and looked up at him. “I was just wondering...I mean. You’ve been a bit down lately, because Elodie has been visiting more often. I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to the...the cemetery.”
“But I don’t even know where they’re buried.” Thomas sighed.
“I do.” Thomas looked shocked. “I wanted to do something for you, something more than music. And I know that it’s coming up to the anniversary of the day you died, so I figured it could be like a...gift? So I did some researched and found their graves. They still stayed in the city, so they’re not actually too far away as you’d think. I know where your grave is too. It’s not too far off from your parents’”
Thomas was silent, processing the information that Guy-Man had given him. First of all, he had actually remembered the date that Thomas had given him for his death. He had only mentioned it once while he was telling his story and hadn’t brought it up again since then. And the fact that Guy-Man would be willing to take Thomas to see his parents. His parents…He hadn’t even seen them since the day they left this house so long ago. He couldn’t even remember the exact years anymore because he really stopped telling time for so many years. Everyday was so much of the same thing that they all became a big blur with no real time or day tacked on to it. He could still remember his maman’s and papa’s faces as clear as day...He desperately wanted to see them, something of them again. Even if it was just their names on a stone, because even that would reassure him that they existed, and that he existed, and that this wasn’t all some big dream to torture him.
But could he allow himself to? After so many years of forcing himself not to out of shame?
And then there was his own grave. Thomas didn’t know if he could bear looking at that.
“Thomas…? Do you want to? We don’t have to, we can just do something quiet here at home for you, or nothing at all. Whatever you want.”
“Yes. We can go.” Thomas nodded.
He had spent so long avoiding his family in assumption that living out the shame was what he needed to do to get into the afterlife. But he had been dead for so long and denying it for so long that now he was finally accepting that maybe that wasn’t what was needed. So he was going to see his parents again, and then he’d just do what he has been doing. Making music with Guy-Man and living each day like...like he was alive. And maybe he’d never figure out what he needed, and he’d stay on earth forever. He knew that one day Guy-Man would leave too, but for now he just wanted to enjoy what he had.
The day that they were going to the cemetery was bright and sunny. Guy-Man was having a slight bit of trouble actually seeing Thomas at times because of how bright it was, but it did amuse Thomas every time he spoke and Guy-Man would look wildly around for a moment before pinpointing exactly where Thomas was. As they walked through the cemetery, Thomas would flit around and get Guy-Man nearly spinning in circles trying to find him while cursing all the way. He needed smiles right now, because he felt such a strong sense of anxiety in his very core that wouldn’t completely go away.
They grew steadily quieter after Guy-Man mumbled that they were almost there, and Thomas was getting slower and slower than Guy-Man until he finally stopped. Guy-Man hadn’t noticed, because it was hard to tell when a ghost stopped. It wasn’t until he turned around and realized that he couldn’t see Thomas no matter how hard that he looked he finally called out.
“Thomas, over here!” He held up a hand and waved, hoping that Thomas hadn’t chickened out and returned back home.
Thomas stayed in his spot for a moment, looking over where Guy-Man was waving and seeing the two tombstones that were right next to him. His parents. He slowly floated over towards Guy-Man and phased right through him, and noticed the small smile Guy-Man had on his face when he shivered from the cold.
Thomas floated down until he was nearly touching the ground and stared at both of the names.
“Papa didn’t die too long ago…But Maman...She died when she was only 50.” Thomas whispered.
Guy-Man sat down next to Thomas. “I can’t really say much about that...We could probably find out later.”
Thomas shook his head. “No. I don’t want to find out. And I know you’re going to ask. I don’t want to see my grave either. I know I’m dead. I don’t need anything to reassure me of that.”
He felt a great sense of relief. He saw the tombstones and practically knew that his parents had been able to pass on into the next life. They’d be happier, and calm at least. He wouldn’t want his parents to suffer the same way he was right now. He still saw his parents’ faces in his mind, talking, laughing. His maman urging him to play them a song on his piano. Thomas looked up at Guy-Man.
“Dance with me.” He said suddenly.
“What? Thomas, that’s a bit hard when I can’t actually touch you, and there’s no music, and--”
“Shut up.”
Thomas was up close to Guy-Man, and he carefully set his hand on Guy-Man’s shoulder, taking care not to phase through. Guy-Man lifted his own hand up and Thomas carefully curled his own hand around it. He could see goosebumps forming on Guy-Man’s skin, and realized how awkward it must feel for Guy-Man to essentially be holding a dancing pose with someone who, to everyone else at least, wasn’t actually there.
But Thomas nodded at Guy-Man and they soon started slowly turning in a circle. Thomas began to hum. It was a popular song from when he was still alive, and the one that his maman used to play when she was teaching him how to dance. He hadn’t heard the song in years, yet all the words and the rhythm came back to him like it was only yesterday that he had heard it.
He closed his eyes as he rotated around, doing the foot movements a few inches above the ground. He closed his eyes, and he was back in the warm and cozy living room of his home. His papa was sitting on the couch reading the evening paper while he and his mother were laughing and dancing across the room while the song was playing on the radio. It had just come on by chance, and his maman had pulled him up and told him that he was going to learn how to dance with her.
That was when he had fallen in love with music. Truly in love with music.
“Thomas...Thomas…” Guy-Man’s voice echoed. “I’m getting really cold…”
Thomas opened his eyes and Guy-Man immediately backed up, smiling, but shivering quite badly despite the day being warm.
“I’m sorry…”
“It’s fine.” Guy-Man’s face looked bright and honest. “I could tell you were having a nice memory.”
Thomas nodded. “It was very nice, thank you for bringing me here. Really, I’m grateful.”
Guy-Man rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t have done anything less for you. It was no problem.” He was quiet, looking down a the tombstone again. “You think you’ll ever see them again? Your parents?”
Thomas shrugged. “Maybe. But, even if I don’t. I really appreciated this. I feel lighter than before. Happier.”
“That’s good.”
Thomas grinned.
“Yeah, it is.”