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Natori’s day was going about as well as could be expected. Recording for his new single had wrapped up on time for once, and he actually had enough time to go grocery shopping and tidy up his apartment before Natsume came over.
He still remembered the first time Natsume had visited--he had been half dead with exhaustion, nearly at his wits end trying to avoid curses and feuds from other exorcist clans. His apartment had been barren, his fridge had been empty, and it had made Natsume, and by proxy, the Fujiwaras, worried enough that Mrs. Fujiwara would send Natsume over from time to time with jam or pickled vegetables.
Mrs. Fujiwara was a very kind woman. She always sent Natsume over with things that would keep for a long time and were also nutritious. Natori still wasn’t sure how he felt about how he was known to Natsume’s parents. It made him a little relieved, to know that the young man was being well taken care of...but it still felt odd, to be known as someone’s ‘friend’. He had been alone for so long, after all…
“Master?”
Natori turned to his shiki. “What is it Hiiragi?”
“You have been wiping the same spot on the counter for the past five minutes,” Hiiragi said, a sly, knowing smile on her face.
Natori bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from childishly sticking his tongue out at her.
“You are looking forward to having young Natsume-dono come here.” Hiiragi phrased it as a statement, rather than a question--as if it were a fact that she knew with absolute certainty. “He has grown softer, with time.”
“Softer?” Natori echoed, his gaze drifting to the windows. “I think he’s grown stronger.”
Hiiragi didn’t say anything for a few moments as she floated over to the sofa. “Softer does not always mean weaker.”
Natori sighed through his nose. “I suppose.” He gave her a hard look. “You hope I will become the same someday.”
Hiiragi shrugged and folded her arms. “Not entirely the same,” she said simply. “And I am not the only one who wishes for it.”
Natori blinked, taken aback. He opened his mouth to respond, unsure of what to say, but then the buzzer went off.
Hiiragi brightened up and glided off the sofa. “Natsume-dono is here! I will go downstairs to greet him.”
“After you bring him up, patrol the building with the others,” Natori said quietly.
“Of course, Master.” Hiiragi floated through the wall, and Natori got up to throw his rag away. Even though Natsume came by every now and then, Natori still got slightly nervous every time. Every time that foolishly kind young man entered his house, Natori felt strangely vulnerable, as if his heart was bared without his permission, and he was an open book for Natsume to read.
Of course, Natsume was far too dense to ever read into anything Natori did. At first, Natori had enjoyed pulling out his charm to tease Natsume and make him uncomfortable, but these days, he found himself what would happen if Natsume actually fell for any of it.
Natsume had grown into a wonderful young man, quietly working his way through classes at a local university, but Natori was always well aware of the age gap between them. Natsume deserved someone his own age, and someone just as kind as he was--perhaps his classmate, Tanuma, who Natori had crossed paths with a couple of times. Or maybe a nice girl--from what Natsume told him off his college classes, he had no shortage of friends of either gender.
There was a polite knock on the door, and Natori went to open it. Hiiragi nodded at him and disappeared into a puff of mist, and Natori smiled brilliantly at Natsume.
Then, he noticed that Natsume was wearing a face mask, and his forehead and cheeks looked pale and clammy. His fat cat toddled into the apartment ahead of him, and his eyes a shade lighter than usual.
“Natsume? Do you have a cold?” Natori stepped aside to let Natsume in, and then reached out and pressed the back of his hand to Natsume’s forehead. In contrast with Natsume’s pale face, his forehead felt quite normal to the touch.
Natsume’s eyes crinkled up into a rather fake smile--Natori had learned the difference between his fake smile and his real smile long ago. (He had to admit, he rather liked the real smiles--they were usually accompanied with a faint blush that he found extremely endearing.) Natsume shook his head and pulled down his face mask, and Natori couldn’t help but stare.
“I feel like I ask this question more often than I should...but kitty sensei, aren’t you supposed to be his bodyguard?!” Natori glared over at the cat, who glared right back at him.
“You try guarding this meddling idiot for a day and see if you can’t get him into trouble!” Nyanko-sensei huffed, reaching with his stubby legs to open Natori’s cabinets. “Where’s your sake, you suspicious exorcist?!”
“I trust you can find it on your own,” Natori sighed, turning back to Natsume. He gently placed his hand on Natsume’s chin, tilting his head up so that Natori could get a better look on his face. Natsume appeared completely normal, except for the series of characters painted across his lips in dark black ink.
“He can open his mouth to eat and breathe,” Nyanko-sensei said helpfully, cheering to himself when he finally found the sake. “He just can’t talk.”
Natori blinked in surprise. Without thinking, his hand moved down to cup Natsume’s neck, his thumb holding the collar of Natsume’s shirt back so Natori could look at the exposed skin of his throat. “That’s quite a predicament.”
Natsume stepped out of his hold to get something from his backpack, and Natori’s fist curled in on itself, and he shivered slightly.
Natsume returned with a pen and a small dry-erase board, and he started writing. Told everyone that I have a cold.
“Good thinking.” Natori smiled at him and lifted his hand to scratch at the back of his neck. “So, I’m assuming you came over to get my help with lifting this curse?”
Natsume startled, and then reached over into his backpack to lift out a jar of pickles. I went home last weekend , he wrote on the board. Touko-san says hello.
Natori laughed and accepted the jar. “As always, please give Mrs. Fujiwara my sincerest thanks.”
Natsume rolled his eyes a little when Natori started sparkling faintly, but his mouth gave way to a small smile.
“He actually got cursed on his way over here.” Nyanko-sensei hiccuped, and then trotted over and rubbed his head against Natsume’s leg. “He was meddling with some spirit as usual, she gave him this gift as a form of thanks.”
“The spirit thought that it was a gift?” Natori stared at Natsume in bewilderment. “Why?”
To his surprise, Natsume’s cheeks turned a faint pink, and Natsume suddenly turned away, making a face at his cat.
“That brat won’t actually tell me what the spirit said,” Nyanko-sensei rolled his eyes. “Humans and their embarrassment. I’m sure we would be well on our way to solving this mess if you would just be straightforward, Natsume.”
Natori watched interestedly as Natsume frowned and sighed. This wasn’t wholly unusual for Natsume--Natori was all too aware of how Natsume liked to keep himself guarded. Natsume would often get embarrassed about small things, relying on extreme politeness to keep others at bay...but it was interesting to learn that there was something he wasn’t willing to tell his guardian.
“Would you be comfortable telling me, Natsume?” Natori asked.
Natsume went bright red and shook his head fiercely.
Well, that stung a little, but Natori could accept it. He and Natsume had grown closer over time, but Natori definitely understood that there were some things that they couldn’t share with each other.
“Well, it’ll be hard to try and find a solution without any clues.” Natori looked over at Nyanko-sensei. “What are your thoughts, cat?”
“I do have a general idea of what sort of curse this is.” The cat sniffed through his nose. “I need to go out and talk to the other ayakishi to be sure. Can the brat stay with you for a couple of days while I sort things out?”
Natori blinked in surprise. “Stay with me?” he echoed, looking over at Natsume. “I don’t mind, but Natsume...won’t you have school and other things to do?”
“It’ll be better if he can at least spend the nights at your place. His apartment in the town isn’t well protected, and if I’m going to be going around getting information I can’t guard him at the same time.” Nyanko got to his feet and padded over to Natsume, who picked him up and held him in his lap.
“What do you think, Natsume?” Natori asked.
Natsume hesitated, glancing down at his guardian. Some kind of silent exchange passed between them for a few moments, and Natsume looked mutinous for a moment, but then slowly nodded his head.
Natori laughed. “I’ll pull out an extra futon for you.” Natori waved his hand at one of his side rooms. “I’ll also take a look at some of my books. There might be information about your curse...it’s rather distinctive.” Natori was momentarily glad that he had an excuse to stare at Natsume’s lips, and then mentally slapped himself.
Natsume blinked, an unsure expression on his face. Natori smiled at him, and after hesitating a moment, reached out to squeeze his hand. “It’ll be alright Natsume. We’ll lift the curse in no time.”
Natsume started in surprise, and then relaxed. He nodded again, and Nyanko rolled out of his lap. “Well, that’s settled then. I’ll be off.” He pushed the door open and darted out of the room. Natori got up to shut the door behind him, and then turned back to Natsume.
“Well, let’s get one of the spare rooms tidied up for you to stay in.” He gave Natsume the kindest smile he could. “Urihime! Hiiragi!”
The two spirits appeared, and Natsume jumped a little. Natori snorted at him, and turned to his two servants, explaining the situation.
Hiiragi drifted over to Natsume. “You’re always getting involved in such strange things.” She peered at his mouth, and Natsume leaned away from her.
“Urihime, pass the message along with Sasago and join her on the patrol. Hiiragi, you can help me move things around to let Natsume settle in.” Natori looked over at Natsume. “Just wait here a minute alright?”
To his surprise, Natsume was staring straight at him with a warm look on his face. Natsume looked surprised, and then a little embarrassed at being caught. He quickly looked away and nodded, and Natori couldn’t fight the tug at the corner of his mouth. He turned away, and Hiiragi gave him a sly look. This time, he didn’t hold himself back from making a face at her.
Luckily for Natori, he could take the next few days off from work while the sound team worked on mixing and editing his album. He insisted on driving Natsume to and from his university so that Natsume wouldn’t get a chance to get mixed up in trouble on his way home. Nyanko-sensei remained absent for a few days, so Natori assumed that he was still going around gathering information.
Having Natsume in his house was like having a friendly ayakishi around. Natsume would drift about silently, quietly making food in the kitchen, studying in his room, or poking his head into Natori’s study, and then coming in to peruse through some of Natori’s books with him. Sometimes, he would come in and softly tap Natori’s shoulder, pull at his sleeve to get his attention, and blush faintly when Natori would give him a questioning look. It was honestly, rather sweet--perhaps Natsume was more akin to a shy kitten than an ayakishi.
“I suppose I should take the opportunity to ask while the cat’s away,” Natori when he noticed Natsume rifling through a book about simple seals. “Would you like me to teach you any of those?”
Natsume looked at him, his eyes wide with surprise. He hesitated, and then shook his head.
“It’s okay,” Natori said kindly. “We have our own ways of dealing with things, right?”
Natsume’s expression changed from surprise to a mild sadness. His forehead creased, and without thinking, Natori reached out to smooth his thumb over Natsume’s forehead.
Time seemed to stop for a moment, and they were frozen in place, Natori’s hand cupping the gentle curve of Natsume’s cheek. Natsume’s gaze was steady as he looked Natori, his forehead softening as his eyes filled with some unnameable emotion.
The moment was broken when an alarm beeped in the kitchen, and Natsume shot out of the study to go fuss around with something in the oven. Natori crushed the fleeting disappointment he felt and stored it deep, deep in his brain. He could handle his growing feelings for Natsume after Natsume’s curse was lifted and he wasn’t staying in the apartment anymore.
Nyanko-sensei returned that night, but didn’t have much to say. “I have my suspicions, but I need a little more time to make sure.” The cat gave him a look, his eyes a deep black. “Exorcist. Bring out those books you were reading. There might be something useful there.”
Natori, able to tell that this was his cue to give them some space, left the table and went into his study. He lingered at the door, straining his ears to listen to what Nyanko sensei was saying.
“Well, brat, I think I understand why you’re embarrassed.” Nyanko sensei sounded both amused, and a little annoyed at the same time. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed. It’s a perfectly natural thing for humans...and spirits, as we’ve seen over and over.”
There was a thunk, and Natori wondered if Natsume had dropped something.
“Ayakishi have no real understanding of gender if that’s what you were worried about,” Nyanko said in a tone that suggested he thought he was being helpful. “Although, I suppose that Hinoe will be rather distraught.”
There was a faint wheezing noise, and Natori realized that Natsume was probably laughing.
“The spirits haven’t told me how to break it any other way yet, but I’ll still look for you.” Nyanko sensei sighed deeply. “You’re lucky you have me, brat.”
Suddenly feeling that he was intruding on a private moment, Natori moved away from the door and picked up the stack of books that he’d deemed moderately useful. He waited a few moments, and then went back out. Natsume was absently scratching behind Nyanko’s ears, and Nyanko-sensei had his eyes closed in apparent bliss.
Natori cleared his throat and put the books next to the cat. “None of them describe a curse exactly like his, but I thought there might be a few useful points. Some of them suggest a couple of charms we could make, or salves we could apply to his throat…”
The next day, Nyanko-sensei had left by the time Natori woke up, and he and Natsume spent the day making and trying the remedies suggested by the book. By the end of the day, Natsume still couldn’t talk, the characters were still painted across his lips, and they both smelled strongly of ginger and chamomile.
Natsume made an apologetic face at Natori, but Natori just shook his head. “Don’t worry. We’ll still find a way.”
Natsume hesitated, and then reached out to tug at Natori’s sleeve.
“What is it?” Natori looked at him.
Natsume tugged a little harder, and Natori got the hint, sliding over to sit closer to Natsume. Then, to his utter surprise, Natsume reached out and hugged him, tucking himself into Natori’s side.
It took him a moment, but Natori lifted his arm and gently pressed Natsume into place. Natsume smelled like ginger and chamomile, but underneath that there was the faint scent of soap and fabric softener, and Natori let out a small sigh of contentment before he could hold himself back, but Natsume didn’t move away.
Natori wondered if he should be worried. He and Natsume had shared plenty of physical contact in the past, what with Natsume’s habit of falling off of ledges and rooftops. The lizard didn’t seem transferable, as it had never migrated to Natsume’s skin when they had contact, so Natori wasn’t so worried that it would affect Natsume in any way. Rather, he was worried about why Natsume was hugging him--Natsume never initiated physical contact of any kind. In fact, the only time Natsume had let Natori hug him before was when Touko had collapsed from a cold while Shigeru was out of town, and Natsume had called him in a panic, begging him for help. Natori had run over to drive the two of them to the hospital, and once Touko was safely tucked into a bed with an IV drip in her arm, Natsume had collapsed into his arms out of relief and exhaustion.
Was Natsume so worried about his curse that he was feeling the same fear and exhaustion again? But no--Natsume’s shoulders were relaxed against his, and Natori couldn’t see his face from where it was nestled into his collarbone, but Natsume didn’t seem terribly stressed.
Eventually, Natsume drew away, refusing to look Natori in the eye. Natori ruffled his hair and got to his feet. “Let’s make dinner. Maybe Nyanko-sensei will come by with good news for us tonight.”
But that night, Nyanko didn’t return. Natori went to bed long after the light under Natsume’s door had gone out, perusing his books about curses. There was all sorts of information about voice-loss curses, but none of them matched what Natsume had. Eventually he dozed off in his chair, his book gripped loosely in his hand.
His dream that night was strange. Natori was used to having vivid dreams--he’d had them ever since he was a child. He had them even more often when he started doing exorcisms. Tonight, he found himself standing on a hillside next to a small cave opening. Everything shone silver under the moonlight, and Natori thought that the place looked vaguely familiar. He was becoming more familiar with Yatsuhara as he started coming to his hometown more and more often to visit Natsume. Had he come up with this place on his own?
You and the boy are both fools .
The voice resonated in the air with such intensity that Natori was nearly knocked off of his feet. “Hello?”
Greetings, human.
“Where are you?”
I am weak. I cannot reveal my form beneath the moon.
“ Who are you?” Natori looked around, and then crouched down to peer into the cave opening.
Human.
“Yes?”
You are less of a fool than the boy.
“The boy…” Natori frowned slightly. “Which boy?”
Do not make me retract my statement. The voice took on a dryly amused tone. Humans are truly enjoyable creatures.
“Enjoyable?” Natori reached over his shoulder and pulled out his staff.
That weapon is useless here.
A cloud crossed over the moon, and Natori saw a flash of gold at the back of the cave. Frowning, he tried to move forward into the entrance, only to wake up in a cold sweat at his desk. Groaning, he sat up and put a hand on his back.
What had that dream been? Natori rubbed at his forehead, and got up to go to sleep in his futon. He fell asleep quickly, and had no more dreams.
Three more days passed, and Natori felt himself growing more apprehensive as Nyanko sensei still didn’t return. Some curses grew stronger over time, and while Natsume’s curse looked exactly the same as the day he’d arrive with the characters pristine and unsmudged on his lips, Natori didn’t want to take any chances.
It wasn’t a hardship to keep taking care of Natsume--he had to juggle his schedule around so that he could still pick Natsume up from his classes, and sometimes he had to bring him along to his work in the evenings, but Natori had to say he enjoyed it. He had always liked spending time with Natsume before, and even though Natsume was entirely silent now, Natori was selfishly happy that he was able to spend some much time with him. It was also unexpectedly pleasant to have another human being in his apartment all the time. Honestly, Natori hadn’t noticed how lonely he was.
“I suppose the kitty isn’t having any luck in his search.” Natori sighed and started clearing away the mess of medicinal herbs and roots he and Natsume had spent the whole afternoon smashing into pastes. Natsume had tried spreading them across his lips to rub the ink away, but so far, nothing had worked.
Natsume pressed his lips together and nodded.
“I’m sure he’ll be back soon, though.” Natori dropped the bowls into the sink and turned to Natsume. “Natsume, what do you--” He paused suddenly. The sun was setting outside, and beautiful golden rays were spilling into the apartment through the balcony window. Natsume had come up beside him, peering over his shoulder into the sink to look at the mountain of dishes they had to clean.
Natori’s brain ground to a halt. Natsume’s face was so close, Natori had to swallow past the sudden dryness in his mouth. He reached up and ran his thumb over Natsume’s lips, marveling at the beauty of the dark ink against Natsume’s pink lips.
He suddenly realized how inappropriate that action might have come off as, and he dropped his hand, his eyes flicking up to meet Natsume’s. He opened his eyes to apologize, but hesitated.
He might be wrong, but Natsume’s face had a hopeful expression on it. Natori’s gaze fell down to his lips, and he blinked. The characters were no longer pristine--instead, they were slightly smudged around the edges, some of the middle lines bleeding across from where his thumb had dragged across Natsume’s lip.
You’re less of a fool than the boy.
But was he, really?
Natori looked into Natsume’s eyes again. Natsume was starting to look more nervous than hopeful now, and Natori decided to act on his suspicion.
“I’m going to try something. If you don’t like it, push me away and I’ll stop,” Natori said gently.
Natsume looked surprised, and then he nodded, his eyelids fluttering shut as Natori moved closer and closer.
Natori let his eyes fall shut as he pressed his lips against Natsume’s in the gentlest butterfly of a kiss. For a moment, he tasted bitter ink seeping through his closed lips, but then Natsume was relaxing and leaning in, pressing their lips together again, and Natori forgot all about it.
When they finally parted, Natsume’s hands were fisted in the front of his shirt, and Natori had one hand at the base of Natsume’s neck, and the other around his waist.
Natsume slowly opened his eyes, and Natori looked down at him fondly. “Is this alright?” He asked quietly, even though it was just the two of them in the room.
Natsume smiled up at him, his lips clear of any ink and a delicate shade of pink in the setting sun. “Yes,” he said, his voice a little raspy from disuse.
“It’s about time!” Nyanko-sensei shrieked from the door.
Natori had no idea when the cat had returned, but suddenly, it didn’t really matter as Natsume instinctively hid his blush in Natori’s collarbones, and Natori cradled him closer. He felt that unnameable emotion that Natsume had gazed at him with welling up in his body, spilling out from his heart and running through his veins until he was warm all over, and smiling like a fool in love as he held Natsume close.
The End