Chapter Text
"So, how are we gonna spend this lonely night?" Jeno asked cheerfully. He’s been too joyful for the whole week. Renjun started to think, he might be high all this time or had too many sugar. He could not figure him out. Jeno is sickeningly unpredictable, just like a movie which has so many plot twists. He can go from giggly little boy to someone who’s gonna throw punch at any time. It’s hard to read a book which was not even opened in the first place.
"Drinking our feelings of course, the fuck you think we're gonna do?" It took Renjun few seconds to answer. To be honest, he wanted to sound like he was answering the question nonchalantly yet it stung in his tongue. He’s tired of drinking his feelings away yet it was the only option available at the moment.
"Making out?" Jeno smiles oddly. What did Renjun even expect! Jeno wouldn't get butthurt; he would just shrug it off and offer another senseless answer.
"Are you high already?"
"Shit, no."
"Come on! Let's go get our drink!" He dragged Jeno, who kept complaining about wanting to just stay inside the car. How nonsense it was. The liquor store was in front of them, for fuck's sake. And Jeno was fully aware that Renjun couldn’t choose the drinks by himself.
They decided to spend the night on an empty road. Jeno parked the car in front of an abandoned building without caring they might get caught by police. The night was still young. Why bothered to care when they could just forget.
"We should start with this" Jeno took a bottle of vodka from the paper bag, swinging it in front of renjun's face while smiling.
"Whatever Lee Jeno, just open the bottle."
"I sometimes think you're scarier than my mother, you know." Jeno said while he was opening the bottle and pouring it to the red cups.
"What a mockery" Renjun almost grinned.
"It was a complement." Oh god, Renjun almost lost his shit when Jeno said that. As much as he loves Jeno, he just wanted to punch the latter on the face.
"Nonsense!”
"Maybe? Here. Promise me you won't drain it in one go!"
"Screw you" Renjun just blindly accepted the glass and drained it until the last drop. Jeno was so caring, he missed a moment like this. When Jeno warned him and he, became as bold as he is, didn't even listen to the other just to piss him off.
"Why you're always like this.” Jeno sighed defeatedly. “Ya! Huang Renjun!!!"
Renjun just smiled. The first sincere smile he offered to the world today and it all happened because of Lee Jeno, someone who’s been wrecking him this whole time. How tragic.
"You know what..." Renjun began to talk again after a few minutes of awkward silence.
"Hmm?" Jeno just hummed. He's always so quiet when he's tipsy.
"Sometimes I feel like it's better to do this than going to a nonsense party"
"True" Jeno nodded in response and Renjun couldn’t help taking a glance to the boy beside him. Jeno still looked adorably cute under the dim light.
"I feel like we're made for each other. I’m too broken and you're no better yet we're best friends. How is that possible? I mean it's destructive yet we haven't destroyed each other." All of that was so stupid. Who was Renjun kidding? Which part of those words that didn’t sound like a joke, only the part when he said he is broken! The rest? It was nonsense.
"Haven't we?" Jeno laughed, and Renjun swore to god his heart just swelled yet hurt at the same time. Jeno’s response was awfully true. It was a sudden epiphany. It was dumb for Renjun to say that they were made for each other even Jeno knew better. "Maybe, it’s because God made us to. You really think we're just friend, are you sure?" Renjun completely lost his composure. Jeno dared to say that after the heartbreak he gave to Renjun last summer.
"What do you want then? How am i supposed to name this artificial love? You don't even love me, Lee Jeno. You just love the idea of having me by your side. It’s not enough." Renjun wanted to spit it all yet his head refused to cooperate. He’s tired of this bullshit. "I think I’ll go get some fresh air." He got up from the car and left Jeno inside despite the fact that it was December and the weather was extremely harsh.
Renjun wanted to think about what he just said to Jeno. It sounded harsh and egoist when in fact Renjun was aware of how broken their relationship is. He kept hanging out with Jeno despite the rejection. It was an unseen agreement that he should’ve begged more from Jeno yet everything was never enough. He wanted to take his words back, yet he couldn't even figure out how. He loves Jeno. Every ounce of him demanded love too from the latter, yet how he's going to expect Jeno to love him when the latter only think love as a game. Jeno even reject him just because he doesn’t like commitment. He could never. His head was getting heavier, it's better to just close his eyes, so Renjun did. He’s done caring; he just wanted to lie down. So he leaned his head on the car, perhaps after this he could properly apologize and everything would go back to normal.