Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Onii-chan!” A bright, searing grin followed the cheerfully tinkling voice. “Smile!”

He knew it wasn’t uncommon, not in the world where he lived. Especially in his time, where the usual pattern of the overwhelming majority in need and poverty was also joined by a crushing sense of thirst, in multiple senses of the word, that blanketed the entire country in some way or another.

And yet, unlike the greater portion of Iwatobi’s citizens, Hazuki Nagisa had allowed himself to dream—of a vibrant life that included himself joining a caravan, dancing freely as he traveled the world—and, once he found the right person, falling in love and sharing his life with his beloved. But now, as he stood in the lush garden lined by elegant white arches and colonnades, his body draped with layers of silk and jewels and a veil, the blonde boy of seventeen years felt that both of his dreams were simultaneously being crushed to dust.

It was ironic, really. Today was his wedding day, an event that he had dreamed about at least once in his life, and was supposed to be festive—although he had prayed to the gods many times that this particular wedding would be called off. As it turned out, his prayers were fruitless—and now, against all his angry protests and struggles and desperate tears, he would be bound to the stranger standing in front of him for the rest of his life—which he had been foolish enough to decorate with dreams that would end even before they were pursued. No matter how beautiful and luxurious his surroundings at the moment were—lavish as the garden square was, with its marble fountains of sparkling water and its jewel-like blossoms and emerald lawns—they failed to lift the blonde’s stormy mood as he stared down stubbornly at his feet, encased in crimson velvet slippers lined with gold embroidery, the shoes making his toes and heels hurt.

But then again, Nagisa thought, maybe he had been naïve, expecting that marriage was something that was supposed to be a choice, one that brought happiness. Well, maybe that definition was accurate in a different way—this marriage, arranged by his sisters, seemed to bring them happiness well enough. Even if it meant that they were pretty much sacrificing their brother’s own personal happiness and freedom. It was no original story, really—in these tough times when even the rich were less willing than before to pay for leisure, their family dance troupe was suffering. Due to an accident, they had lost their parents and home many years ago—they were one step away from living in the slums again, barely sheltered under the small grain of grudging hospitality that their distant relatives had left to show them. For his sisters, Nagisa knew, the offer that had been made by their father’s old friend had been like a savior’s call, a miraculous drop of rain in a dry, barren desert.

But even so…All the blonde could think about, as the festive music in the background jarred with his stormy mood, was how angry he was that his sisters had chosen to marry him off instead of offering themselves to this…this deal of friendship, or whatever it was fit to be called. He knew they were not typical of many women in their country, that they enjoyed their independence and that was why none of them had gotten married over the years. That was why Nagisa felt all the more strongly that they should have known better and respected his independence as well. True, he was a minor by law and his sisters still had custody over him, but also being Hazukis, they should have known how stubbornly independent their only brother was—no matter that he was the youngest in their family, no matter that his sisters had always been able to bully him into going along with their whims when he was little. When the news of this godforsaken marriage had first been broken to him, Nagisa had seriously considered running away, bolting under the cover of darkness that very night.

Curse familial bonds—curse irresponsible strong-headed sisters, curse old friendships, curse the drought. But most of all, curse their undeniable poverty. Because ultimately, that was the biggest reason why the usually strong-willed blonde had not run away—why he could not bring himself to break this arrangement, one way or another. It had been almost a decade since his parents passed away—and while he himself had gone through some hard times, he had seen his sisters suffer from poverty for too long. They had always borne the brunt of their hardships—the things they had done for him in the face of sacrificing their honor and pride, in the face of their earlier years living in the slums, in the face of their apathetic relatives, in the face of this apathetic world—it was honestly a wonder how they had stayed unmarried all these years, really, because for them, that would have been the ultimate sacrifice of pride spurred by the ultimate cause for such change.

But then again, maybe the fact that Nagisa was standing in this garden at this very moment was proof that the fiery Hazuki pride was finally crumbling. Because in the end, his sisters had thrust him into the very fate that they themselves had been avoiding with a passion. And perhaps, he thought as the music came to a gradual halt, this wedding ceremony was the very embodiment—not just of his sisters’ ultimate sacrifice of pride—but, his own as well.

Curse poverty indeed. Hunger wasn’t the only grief the villain could cause.

Just as he finished this last thought, Nagisa heard the officiant beginning to speak. All throughout the man’s speech, the blonde kept his eyes on his feet, stubbornly refusing to meet his soon-to-be-husband’s eyes. Only when the officiant called for the two grooms to meet each other’s eyes did he reluctantly look up, taking in the face of his betrothed for the first time.

He was tan, and tall—a head and some taller than Nagisa was, with broad shoulders and lean, muscular arms, a trim waist, and long legs. Nagisa had been informed that the man was many years older than him—was it seven years? Eight? The stranger looked youthful—but then again, he could only be in his mid-twenties at the oldest, so perhaps it was to be expected, although Nagisa knew many men in their twenties looked much older as they began growing beards. Apparently, this man preferred a clean-shaven look—the only significant amount of hair he had sat atop his head under a turban, a crop of rich, dark blue locks that framed his high-cheekboned face in an almost equal part.

What briefly caught Nagisa’s curiosity—before the blonde immediately reined it in—were the odd silver spectacles sitting atop his nose. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been aware of the existence of glasses before, but it was the first time that the blonde youth had seen them in real life. To be honest, it was a little unexpected—even if the man was a royal guard, one that worked for the Prince, he was still supposedly a guard and not a scholar, the only people that Nagisa knew to need such accessories.

But what caught the blonde’s attention the most were the man’s eyes. They were an iridescent shade of violet, one that Nagisa did not remember seeing before in his life, but felt strangely familiar—and as the blonde met the man’s gaze, they flickered with a series of emotions: surprise, then nervousness, then…had that been a flustered look just now? Before the blonde could observe the emotion in detail, the man had averted his gaze—and as the officiant called for a token of affection that would seal the promise of marriage, all other thoughts fled from the boy’s mind as his body immediately stiffened up. As his betrothed leaned down towards him, the blonde flinched instinctively, expecting a kiss on the mouth—

And was surprised when he felt a calloused hand gently take his own smaller one. As the blonde’s burgundy eyes flickered open and blinked owlishly, he felt the dry sensation of slightly chapped lips on his knuckles as his betrothed gave his hand a chaste kiss. Two things rippled through Nagisa at once—relief at the more tolerable form of physical contact, and a strange flutter that came out of nowhere and traveled down his spine. But before he could ponder over the sensation, the officiant was declaring them man and husband, the celebratory music resumed in the background, and the guests in the garden were already clapping.

…

During the reception banquet that followed, Nagisa returned to avoiding his now-husband’s gaze. Throughout the event, the blonde caught glimpses of his sisters here and there—each time they made eye contact, the three Hazuki women threw their brother warning looks, as if telling him to warm up to the blue-haired man. But Nagisa choose to ignore their telepathic advice—after shooting each of them pointed glares, the blonde redirected his gaze back down towards his red slippers—curse these shoes, he was positive that at least one of his heels were bleeding now. Because they were naturally seated next to each other and the guests kept approaching them to offer their congratulations, the blonde had to remain by his husband’s side at all times—but while he put on a polite façade in front of the guests, Nagisa did not try to initiate any conversation with the blue-haired man or even turn and face him. And whether it was because the man sensed Nagisa’s purposeful efforts or because he was too busy with the events going on around him, the blonde was unsure—but the brunet also did not attempt to initiate an interaction with him. And as a result, despite the numerous conversations both of them held with the guests, the only information related to the dark-haired man that made a firm impression in the blonde’s head was his name, repeated so many times by the people at the wedding: ‘Ryuugazaki Rei’.

By the time the banquet ended, Nagisa was feeling exhausted to say the least. All throughout the procession back to the royal palace, where the man named Rei lived, his eyelids felt heavy against his tired eyes and he thought that his legs would give out from under him any minute. At the palace gates, the guests finally left the couple, and they were escorted inside by a few other members of the royal guard and a small train of palace servants. Any other day in any other situation, Nagisa would have been thrilled to be inside the palace and run around marveling at its beautiful architecture and gardens—but by the time they finally reached Rei’s living quarters, all the blonde wanted was to drop down on the floor and give himself up to slumber.

But as a few servants escorted him to the baths to ‘prepare him for his wedding night’, as one of them said with a good-natured smile, all thoughts of sleep immediately disappeared from Nagisa’s head and was replaced by panic and dread. He could not even bring himself to be embarrassed about having his body stripped and washed by strangers during the bath, because why had this not occurred to him before?

In all seventeen years of his life, Nagisa had never lain with a man, or even a woman before. And although he knew boys and girls younger than him got married all the time and even had children before they turned seventeen, the blonde felt too young, too underprepared physically AND mentally, and definitely too scared for such an event. Feeling his stomach churn as he was cleaned and dried and polished with scented oils, he considered the wild option of running away from the palace, or maybe simply drowning himself in one of the large marble tubs in the chamber.

But before the blonde could do either, he was whisked away to the dressing room, where another group of servants draped his body with silks and adorned his ears and neck and wrists and ankles with tinkling gold jewelry. And when another royal guard, a tall man with orange hair who was even taller than Rei and just as muscular, came to escort the blonde to Rei’s bedroom, Nagisa knew there was no longer any hope of escape. Trying to swallow his fears and nervousness, the boy followed the guard down the hall, the cheerful chatter from the guard’s lips entering through one ear and going out the other. It didn’t help that the oblivious guard winked at the blonde and ‘wished him good luck’ before leaving him at the door. By then, Nagisa was a bundle of nerves—his body started quivering as he turned with dread towards the bedroom.

Thankfully, the room was empty. As he let out a relieved sigh, Nagisa’s shoulders relaxed for the moment, his burgundy eyes traveling around the space. Even for a guard’s room, he thought, the bedroom seemed modestly furnished, considering that it was a room in the royal palace. The furniture was simple without much decoration, the drapes were velvet but of a subdued color, and there were none of the expensive-looking ornaments that Nagisa had seen around the palace. In the center was the bed—and while the presence of that particular piece of furniture had the blonde’s stomach churning again, he noticed that it was also not as big as he had expected, with a frame that was about the size of a middle-class double bed and a simple canopy with plain white sheets draping the mattress. Nagisa was pretty sure Rei was a high-ranked official in the royal army, although he was not sure of his exact rank, so he was surprised that the room was not as lavishly decorated as he had expected it to be.

As he felt a yawn escape his lips, the boy remembered just how tired he was at the moment. His eyes swiveled over to the bed, which was modestly furnished but looked comfortable—but the context of the particular evening kept him from approaching it. He saw an armchair in the room and settled for that instead, folding his knees and drawing them up to his chest, bringing his feet up on the cushion after freeing them from his silk slippers. Propping his chin on his knees, he wrapped his arms around his legs and looked down at his feet, which were still slightly swollen from the uncomfortable wedding slippers he had worn for the majority of the day. Seeing his feet and seeing the unfamiliar room before his eyes suddenly made the blonde feel a strong pang of overwhelming homesickness.

The small servants’ room that he had shared with his sisters back at his uncle’s house had been much more cramped, with only a single hay mattress and a tiny widow in one of the crumbling walls to let in sunlight during the day. It had been dusty, dark, and small, but Nagisa thought that he would gladly be in that room instead of this unfamiliar one in the palace. Sure, it had been uncomfortable, sharing that small mattress with his sisters every night—but at least he had had them next to him in that room, giggling and chatting and gossiping about what had happened that day, teasing him and attacking him with tickles, the four of them huddling together during the colder nights. Now, he was alone in the room of a man who was a stranger—and the thought that his sisters, nor anyone he even knew for that matter, would be there for him, to listen to him and comfort him through his fears and sadness and bad days, made him feel small and lonely. All of a sudden, he felt tears prick the back of his eyes—and he almost gave in and let them spill from his eyes. But knowing that this was not the time to be crying, that this was the time to be strong and get through what he had to get through, to follow through on the choice that he had made, the blonde bit his lip and stubbornly blinked those tears back.

No matter that he was scared. No matter that this man, Rei, might be just like the other palace guards he had met in the streets, who had used to treat him like a street prostitute and tried to harass him, who were crude and violent and treated the poor of the kingdom like livestock. No matter that the man might be rough with him that night, might not care about his feelings at all. No matter that Nagisa had never even lain with the person he loved—that he had never even gotten to experience falling in love in the first place. No matter that he had had dreams for his life, wanted to travel the world and see its many sights. No matter that his sisters had given him up, that they were no longer by his side now. He could get through this. He would. And as the blonde was stubbornly gritting his teeth, he heard the sound of the door opening, and that snapped him out of his determined thoughts and brought back the panic to his heart.

In came the stranger, Rei. It seemed that he too had been in the baths—the faint smell of soap and oils surrounded the man, who had changed out of his wedding clothes into more comfortable garments. His violet eyes took in Nagisa, sitting curled up on the chair, his face looking pale and his burgundy eyes frozen with terror. As the man stepped slightly forward, opening his mouth, the blonde flinched and instinctively drew back his body. Squeezing his eyes shut, Nagisa waited to hear the continued footsteps towards him, waited for the touch of that calloused hand to graze his skin…

But the next thing he heard were the sound of footsteps distancing away from him. Puzzled, the boy opened his eyes just in time to see the door of the bedroom shutting. Blinking, his wide burgundy eyes took in the emptiness of the room that had been unexpectedly restored.

Seized by relief, Nagisa’s body relaxed, slumping against the chair. It then stiffened once more when he considered the possibility that the brunet man might enter again anytime soon and continue whatever his intentions towards the blonde had been. But as the minutes passed and not a single soul entered the room, Nagisa began to doze off on the chair, his head nodding off towards slumber.

In the hazy subconscious of his sleep, he thought he felt gentle arms lift him up and carry him somewhere. When he woke up to the rays of sunshine filtering through the bedroom the next morning, he found that he was lying in the bed, alone—still clothed in the same garments and jewelry that he had been dressed in the night before.

When a week’s worth of nights had passed much the same as the first, Nagisa began to wonder.

He rarely saw the man that became his husband during the daytime. The only times he saw Rei was at breakfast and lunch, and then dinner later in the night. And even during those times, they kept dining in silence, their eyes rarely meeting across the table if meeting at all. Even after dinner, the royal guard still had duties to carry out and only returned at a late hour in the night. It seemed that he was even called out for duty sometimes in the middle of the night—and the only way Nagisa had found out was because he had heard the servants gossip about ‘His Honor’ being summoned before dusk once again, that he was being worked all too hard even for his rank. A little curious about what exact rank that was, Nagisa had wanted to ask the servants about it—but whenever they caught the blonde looking at them, they cast him knowing glances before distancing themselves from him. It had the blonde frowning, because he didn’t know what he had done to deserve such treatment from them. The only one who seemed even remotely sorry among them was a grey-haired servant who seemed to be around Nagisa’s age, with his large sky blue eyes flickering apologetically before he turned and joined the rest of the group.

Cold treatment from the servants aside, Nagisa hardly felt like he was married. It felt like nothing was expected of him, not during the day as a conversation partner, not during the night as—well, as a husband. He spent most of his days wandering aimlessly around Rei’s living quarters, with nothing to do and no one to talk to but the walls themselves. The boredom was not-so-slowly starting to wear on him, as well as his grudging curiosity about the blue-haired man who hadn’t spoken a single word to him since they had been wed. And on the morning of the eighth day, when he yet again woke up to an empty bed in an empty bedroom, Nagisa finally decided that he had some finding out to do.

The routine of the eighth day went a little differently—though Nagisa had expected to see Rei at breakfast and dinner, the blue-haired man was absent from the table for both meals. It was the grey-haired servant who had informed him politely that ‘His Grace’ was occupied with his guard duties and could not join him for the meal. The boy had quickly disappeared before Nagisa could ask him any questions, and as only the sound of his own cutlery echoed through the dining room, the blonde’s determination to confront Rei only grew stronger. So that evening, when the blue-haired man finally sat down at the table across from him, Nagisa took a resolute deep breath before opening his mouth.

“Why aren’t you doing anything to me?”

Admittedly, for being the first sentence that Nagisa had spoken to the man ever, the phrasing of the question had been a little blunt, to say the least. But still, he wondered, did that really warrant the stricken look that crossed the man’s face? The next second, Rei was coughing violently, having choked on a portion of his dinner—his tan face now beet-red. After hastily grabbing a glass of water and downing his meal, the brunet’s wide violet eyes swiveled back towards Nagisa as that deep voice stuttered out a word, the tone two octaves higher than usual.

“Pardon…?!” The blonde wondered what the brunet was looking so flustered for—wasn’t he a full-fledged adult man, and a royal guard at that? Nagisa knew what the average royal guard did for leisure, and more often than not those ‘leisurely times’ involved the whorehouses in the back alleys outside the palace. But perhaps that was beside the point—realizing that his question sounded like it only addressed part of the issue between them, the blonde felt his own cheeks coloring in embarrassment as he rephrased his inquiry.

“I mean—why aren’t you doing anything with me?” That didn’t sound much better, the blonde realized, but before Rei could return to panicking, he hurriedly went on. “What I mean is, I know I haven’t really spoken to you either, but I thought by now you might’ve actually tried to have a conversation with me—or at least said ‘Good morning’ or ‘Good afternoon’, or anything.” In the back of his mind he briefly wondered if it was all right to address a man seven years older than him—he had picked up the brunet’s exact age from overhearing the servants’ gossip—in such an informal tone, but the thought passed through his head and vanished as he looked at Rei expectantly for a reaction.

“—I, that is—“ Rei’s cheeks were burning as his eyes took on a somber look. “—I’m sorry. I thought—that you did not wish to talk to me, or be spoken to—“ Nagisa heard him clear his throat nervously. “I truly did not wish to be rude—I do apologize…” Not having expected this reaction, all Nagisa could do was blink his eyes owlishly at the man.

Truthfully, he had started to think that it was because the brunet did not like him, whether it was because of his less than friendly attitude towards Rei or because of some other reason—but the man had acted distant just to give him some space? When they were married and their culture and customs dictated that Rei had every right to pretty much do anything he wished to him? The blue-haired man had just been respecting his apparent wishes? Feeling a little stunned, the blonde opened his mouth.

“But—why?” Noting that Rei looked confused, Nagisa elaborated on the question. “I mean, why do you care? You could do anything you wanted to me—you’re in that kind of position, after all!” Hoping his flushed cheeks were not too obvious and gave away the fact that he was young and scared and all too inexperienced in many ways, Nagisa went on. “I mean, I’ve been on the edge ever since the first day, but you won’t even make me talk—“ Suddenly, a possibility occurred to Nagisa, and he wondered why he had not thought of it before.

“Is it because you have a secret lover or something?” he asked before he could stop himself. If that was the truth, then that would explain everything—after all, the blonde realized with a start, their marriage had been arranged by each of their guardians, and Rei had probably not had any say in the matter either. Perhaps the brunet hated this arrangement as much as he himself did—but before the blonde could continue his speculations, he noticed Rei frowning from across the table.

“I most certainly do not have an external lover—Hazuki-san.” The man’s words were still polite, but his voice was firm, taking Nagisa aback slightly. Rei must have noticed the look on the blonde’s face, because he let out a sigh while adding in amendment, “Well, perhaps the way I’ve been acting towards you lead you to draw such conclusions.” Clearing his throat, Rei hesitantly met Nagisa’s eyes with his violet ones, which were flickering with an emotion that the blonde could not put his finger on.

“I just…I do not wish to force you—to do anything that you are not willing to do.” Despite his cheeks flushing a little at the implication, the man’s voice was every bit sincere, his violet eyes glowing with all seriousness. “I realize that—that you did not have a choice in this marriage. And since you did not choose for this to happen—it is the least I can do in this situation, to respect your wishes—as I believed I had been doing.” With every unexpected word, Nagisa’s burgundy eyes grew rounder and rounder—and after Rei’s last words, his mouth fell open in a slight gape.

“…Oh.” The word fell softly from his lips, the only response that the blonde could think of at the moment. For the remainder of their meal, a less-than-comfortable silence settled over the two of them, only disturbed by the awkward clacking of silverware on ceramic platters and the faint sounds of chewing.

To be honest, Rei’s response at dinner that evening had thrown Nagisa for a loop. Really, everything that had happened since their wedding day had thrown the blonde for a loop—so far, nothing had gone the way that the boy had expected them to in their marriage. And although he did not want to admit it, the semblance of a conversation they had had at the table that night had caused a marked change in the blonde’s perspective of Rei and of their situation.

It seemed, Nagisa realized with guilt, that he had been a little unfair towards the man, to say the least. He had been so preoccupied with his own feelings against this marriage that he had not considered the fact that it had also been arranged for Rei as well. It was the old friend of Nagisa’s father who had offered his son in marriage, not the brunet himself—but somewhere between having the news broken to him and having the late conversation with Rei, Nagisa had forgotten that fact. Perhaps that was what had caused the blonde to project his own not-so-great assumptions on the blue-haired man’s character, instead of waiting to see what he was really like. And so far, the blonde had gotten the impression that, at the least, the brunet did not seem like a bad man.

Now feeling sorry about his behavior, Nagisa decided that he would try to make amends. Neither of them had had a choice in this arrangement, but the wedding had already been done, and there didn’t seem to be any going back—so he thought that at the present they should just make the best of the situation. Having reached this conclusion, Nagisa took a deep breath as he knocked on the door of Rei’s study three days later.

“Come in!” Straightening his shoulders up a little, the blonde took in another breath as he grasped the door handle and pushed it forward. And in an unexpected moment, Nagisa was taken aback by the sight that greeted him.

The study was beautiful, arguably the most beautiful room in all of Rei’s living quarters. It was also the largest room, Nagisa realized, with its tall marble walls lined with elegant mahogany bookcases, the shelves lined with what seemed like millions of books, bound in crimson and navy and forest green and a whole multitude of other rich colors. In addition to the many books, there were also tables full of many curious instruments and models and maps and diagrams full of illustrations, some of the latter two also covering the walls of the study. Against the middle of the back wall stood a desk, made out of the same rich wood as the bookcases, its surface overflowing with books and stacks of parchment and writing quills and pens, accompanied by some more of those odd instruments Nagisa had seen throughout the room. One particular instrument caught his attention—the blonde’s eyes widened when he recognized the rotating globe in its copper frame, the orb gold and bronze with shapes of the world’s continents and oceans and their many names etched across its surface—an object he had only before seen at the annual international bazaar. With shining burgundy eyes, the blonde had momentarily forgotten the reason he had come to the study in the first place and had been about to step towards the desk to take a closer look—

“Ah—it’s you…!” The surprised voice of Rei brought Nagisa back to his present situation. Jumping a little, the blonde’s wide eyes swiveled towards the brunet, who had emerged from behind one of the movable bookcases with a stack of books in his arms. “I apologize for making you wait, I had to climb back down from the ladder...” Having seen the blonde stare at the globe with wonder, the blue-haired man cleared his throat. “Would you like to take a closer look?” he offered, gesturing to the globe. When Nagisa looked a little startled at the question, Rei hastily tacked an explanation onto his words. “I mean, that is, you seemed interested in it, so—“

“Let’s stop this.” The words promptly flew out of Nagisa’s mouth, almost surprising the blonde himself as much as they did Rei. As he saw the blue-haired man’s face fall a little, Nagisa quickly revised his words. “I mean, let’s stop walking on eggshells around each other,” he said, his voice earnest. “You were right about me not having a choice in this marriage—but you didn’t, either.” He thought he saw Rei’s eyes flicker a little at this last remark—thinking the emotion was something like agreement, the blonde continued. “And since we’re here like this, now, we might as well make the best of it. So…what I’m saying is…” Feeling a little shy, Nagisa said the next words a little grudgingly.

“I’d really like a little more company from you, at the least.” At the blonde mumbled these words, the brunet’s violet eyes widened with surprise. “I don’t really know anyone else in this palace—and I’m feeling a little lonely here, you know?” Nagisa’s fingers fumbled with the shawl wrapped around his waist, his eyes resolutely pointed down at his feet. “Just…talk to me a little more now and then. Otherwise, it’ll be too quiet around here…”

“…Do you mean that…?” At the question, the blonde blinked and turned his eyes back towards Rei—the brunet was staring at him, those odd violet eyes glowing with…was that hope? “You—you would not mind if I spoke with you…?” At this question, Nagisa’s mouth began opening in protest, as if to say that he had made his point on that issue clear. But he felt strangely nervous under that violet gaze, and he closed his mouth, simply nodding in response.

What he saw next almost blew the blonde away. As the rays of golden sunlight filtered through one of the tall study windows, they highlighted the side of Rei’s face—just as the blue-haired man smiled before Nagisa for the first time. The smile stretched his thin lips, the corners of his mouth curving up gently, lifting his slightly flushed cheekbones and reaching those iridescent violet eyes behind those silver frames, eyes that crinkled up in a way that Nagisa could only describe as beautiful. The moment that his own two eyes captured that expression, the blonde felt as if his heart had stopped beating.

Then, as if had been told to go in reverse, it suddenly started to beat, thumping harder and faster than ever before. The sensation startled Nagisa—it was the first time that it had ever behaved this way. He knew it wasn’t fright he was feeling, because that quickening of the heart was different—but before he could reflect upon it further, Rei spoke up again.

“If…if you would like, then…” His voice was quiet as usual, but it seemed a little happy. “Would you like to take a look around the study?” The blue-haired man readjusted his glasses with one hand as he smiled again, a little shyly. “You did seem interested in it, so…” Somehow, the gesture also brought a smile to Nagisa’s face as well. Not noticing the startled look on Rei’s face, the blonde chirped back an answer.

“Yes! This place looks amazing!” His burgundy eyes sparkled. “But first, show me the globe!”

…

Of all the afternoons Nagisa had spent at the palace after the wedding, that afternoon had arguably been the best. Of course, considering what those long, boring afternoons without any companionship had been like for the blonde, it was hardly surprising—but nevertheless. The study was a treasure trove of items that fascinated Nagisa, from the bronze globe that his gaze had first landed on to all the curious scientific instruments lining the desk and shelves to the pieces of yellowed parchment on the walls containing maps, diagrams, and illustrations—to the hundreds of colorful bound books that the blonde gleefully pulled off the bookcase shelves. When he was young and his parents had still been alive, they had taught him letters and how to read and write them. However, it had been many years since then that he had read or written anything, and he found that he had forgotten most of what he had learned. But as he found, Nagisa felt content from just looking at the various illustrations that the books held, and as he greedily flipped through the pages, Rei watched from behind, a small smile on his lips and a gentle glow in his eyes.

It was after two hours of running around looking, pointing, exclaiming, and touching that Nagisa heard a knock come from the study door.

“Come in!” After Rei called out to the inquirer, the door opened and the face of the grey-haired servant peered in.

“I apologize for interrupting, Sire. His Majesty has sent for you.” At that, Rei immediately straightened up.

“Not at all, Nitori. I will be out to see His Highness shortly. Thank you.” Bowing, the boy called Nitori retreated, closing the door behind him.

Somehow, watching this interaction had made Nagisa calm down from his excitement. It was only when he heard the grey-haired servant address Rei politely that he realized how casually he himself had been addressing the brunet the whole time he was going through the study. In fact, the blonde realized with a start, he had completely let the childlike side of his personality surface—something that he had never expected to happen around the stranger who was his husband. And the man was seven years older than Nagisa, seemed so quiet and serious from what he knew about him so far, that the blonde wondered whether it was acceptable for him to be so…less-than-polite around the brunet. As the two of them exited the study, signaling the end of those two lighthearted hours, the blonde hesitantly turned towards Rei, who opened his mouth.

“I will see you later then, at dinnertime, Hazuki-san. Until then—“

“Is what I’m doing all right?” The blonde’s hesitant voice interrupted Rei’s words, making the man blink his violet eyes in confusion. “He—that servant—he seemed about my age, and…well, I was just wondering if I was being too informal with you…” As understanding registered in the brunet’s violet eyes, Nagisa swallowed a little and waited nervously for his answer. He had heard tales of husbands reprimanding their spouses when they were ‘disrespectful’—more often harshly than not. But Rei had not seemed to mind before when they had that short conversation at dinner previously…

“It’s perfectly fine.” As the brunet’s voice rang firm and earnest, Nagisa looked up at Rei in surprise. The man was smiling down at him, his eyes gentle and sincere. “You are free to address me however you would like—“ He scratched one cheek with his finger, as if being slightly bashful. “In fact, I would honestly like that very much.” As if to cover his face up, he reached up with a hand and readjusted his silver spectacles, the gesture coming off as a little flustered. And while Nagisa was puzzled at the small warmth that shot across his heart, he smiled in delight at the slightly blushing older man.

“Then I’ll keep doing that from now on!” he chirped. “I should warn you, considering how I am, it’ll be too late to change your mind later!”

He had exchanged farewells with Rei and was just about to turn the corridor when a thought occurred to him. Turning around, he called out to Rei, who was headed in the opposite direction.

“And call me ‘Nagisa’!”

It was only natural, after all. ‘Hazuki-san’ was too stiff for Nagisa to get used to, and since they were married, it seemed pointless to address each other with those titles. Oblivious to a blushing Rei who had stopped in his tracks, the blonde hummed in his footsteps as he reminded himself to call the brunet ‘Rei’ from now on.

Chapter Text

After their conversation in the study, the days that followed became a lot less boring for the blonde and a lot more tolerable than before. Although the number of hours that Nagisa spent with Rei varied throughout the week, the times that the blonde could usually count on Rei’s presence were at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and these hours they shared at the dining table were no longer just filled with the sound of tableware scraping against wood. At first, they started off with small talk—about how the weather was or how the food served for that meal tasted, and from those casual conversations they could slowly begin gauging things about each other from a few words here and a mannerism there. Now that the silence between the two of them had been lifted, Nagisa found his mealtimes a lot less uncomfortable and a lot more engaging. And it was through these hours that the blonde slowly began to learn things about his new husband.

Rei was a royal guard with long hours of duties—but in his private time, he was also a scholar, and it was the second aspect of the man that the blonde got to see most of the time. Nagisa had initially gotten this impression when he saw the brunet’s study for the first time, but as the blonde interacted with Rei, saw the way the man carried himself and heard the way he spoke, it became increasingly obvious. If Nagisa had to describe his first impression of the brunet, he would have said that he was a man of few words, either due to his serious nature or his shyness.

But calling the brunet ‘quiet’ or ‘shy’ or ‘serious’ was not enough to describe his character—as Nagisa listened to Rei talk, he increasingly began to think that there was more, much more. Every word that the man spoke in that voice of his, sometimes low, sometimes a little louder and clearer, seemed thoughtful and earnest and considerate—qualities that the blonde had rarely seen in other men before. And though the blonde had seen how the men of Iwatobi demanded complete, submissive respect and obedience from their spouses, it was vastly different with Rei. With the blue-haired man, Nagisa never felt that he had to put up a polite front—he felt comfortable with being his own person, with speaking the way he was used to speaking around Rei, even if the man was seven years older than him. Maybe it had something to do with the brunet’s aura—although strangers could easily call him ‘stiff’ upon first glance, there was a subtle feeling of tolerance beneath the surface, something that told the blonde that it was all right for him to relax and be himself around Rei.

And so he did. Bit by bit, Nagisa released the cheerful, bubbly, straightforward personality that he had expected to shut away for the remainder of his life around Rei. But in contrast, the blonde felt that the older man was still keeping some of his walls up—although he was always respectful and kind towards Nagisa, that was exactly what made the blonde feel somewhat dissatisfied. As the days continued to pass with little change, Nagisa began to wonder how he could get the man to loosen up and stop being so polite towards him all the time.

Little did the blonde know how rewarding it would be, when he began bringing more of his own personality to the dining table the two of them shared. Nagisa had always loved food and he had always been a messy eater, so when he started feeling more comfortable around Rei, he began abandoning the silverware and stuffing his face with his hands as he had been used to doing all his life.

At first, Rei seemed slightly taken aback, from the surprised flicker that Nagisa caught in the man’s violet eyes before it was quickly concealed. As the sounds of the blonde’s chatting and chewing and gulping and swallowing echoed through the dining room, the brunet continued to say nothing about the unexpected behavior. But when the blonde stuffed a particularly large piece of lamb in his already soup-filled mouth while talking at the same time, the silverware dropped from the brunet’s hands and clattered against the tabletop. Seeing Rei with his head hanging down and his shoulders shaking, Nagisa blinked with concern as he stopped chewing his food and cocked his head quizzically.

“Rei? Is something the matter?” That simple question was all it took to trigger one of the most passionate responses that the blonde had ever seen from Rei.

“Is something the matter—is something the matter?!” As Nagisa drew back in surprise from Rei’s sudden shout, the man suddenly shot up from his chair and threw his hands up in the air, where they ended up clutching the sides of the brunet’s head as it was thrown back in dramatic despair. “That way of dining is most certainly not beautiful at all!!!”

“…Eh?” It took a couple of seconds for what Rei had said to sink in, and before the blonde had registered what had just happened, the man went on rambling in a fuming voice.

“I mean, first of all, you are picking up meat with your hands, for god’s sake—there are utensils there right in front of you! Humans were born to use their hands with grace, not bury them in greasy meats and sauces!” While the nobility of the kingdom liked to eat with expensive imported silverware from the West, the commoners hardly had the money to afford such utensils, and most just ate with their hands (although admittedly they probably ate more cleanly than Nagisa did). Not realizing for the moment that he was pretty much defying a long-held custom of dining that was deeply embedded in their culture, the blue-haired man went on with his tirade. “Not to mention that you are consuming preposterous amounts of food at once and chewing with your mouth open and talking, all at the same time! And there is an unreasonable amount of sauce and food all over your face, and an actual piece of lettuce stuck in your hair—! It is completely and utterly undignified!”

Perhaps the rant should have offended Nagisa more than it did—and perhaps, if he had not known Rei, the blonde would have reacted more angrily. But the more he listened, the more he stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the usually calm and composed adult with an almost comically indignant look on his face as he continued to lecture Nagisa on what became a comprehensive rant on eating, from dining etiquette to eating habits to the optimal calorie intake to maintain a healthy balanced lifestyle—the more the blonde grew intrigued with this new side of the brunet. Maybe it was because it was Rei who had said it, but it didn’t even feel like the man had made a class discrimination, and the blonde instinctively felt that Rei had probably not meant to do such a thing—rather, he seemed to be focused on the value of silverware to mankind in general, from what Nagisa could understand of his rant. And the more that the older man’s face contorted in funny ways and the more his arms and hands gestured wildly as he was making his several points, Nagisa could not help it.

A trickle of laughter stopped Rei in the middle of his lecture, had his violet eyes blinking in a puzzled way. As the sound pealed out from his lips, the blonde doubled over in his chair, clutching his stomach and laughing harder. Rei’s eyes widened as the pleasant sound filled the room, his body frozen in his current stance as he saw the boy laugh for the first time since their marriage. Then, as if catching himself, the brunet quickly turned his face away, his palm flying up to cover his mouth, his cheekbones dusted pink. Just as the man made this reaction, Nagisa finally calmed down, wiping a tear of laughter from his eye as he turned his attention back towards Rei.

“That was—hahaha—awfully unexpected!” With a wide grin and twinkling eyes, the blonde asked in a teasing voice, “How long have you wanted to burst out about the way I’m eating? Don’t tell me you were holding yourself back the entire meal!” Seeing Rei’s ears turn scarlet upon his playful accusation delighted Nagisa even further.

“That—that is not true!” the brunet protested. “It was just—the thought occurred to me just a few moments ago—it was simply that your manner of dining was not exactly refined—“

“Oh, really? I‘d very much like to see this way of ‘refined dining’ then!” Nagisa’s eyes sparkled mischievously as he aimed an innocent smile at the older man. “Please do demonstrate, sire!” Hearing the teasing challenge in those words, Rei frowned slightly as he sat back down at the table.

“As a matter of fact, I most certainly will!” With a determined air about him, the older man picked up his utensils and began to go through the motions. But as he felt Nagisa’s burgundy stare concentrating on him, the brunet soon began to grow self-conscious. As a result, his hands started to fumble and he began dropping the silverware, clacking the utensils against the ceramic plates, spilling water from his cup and food from his plate. When he finally dropped fork and knife and dropped his head against the tabletop, his entire face was burning from mortification, his ears following in a close shade of scarlet. Feeling as if he was seeing a pouty child who had failed in an attempt to prove himself, Nagisa could not help but giggle quietly behind his hand. Despite his effort to stifle it, Rei caught wind of the sound, and upon hearing it he immediately sat up, wringing his hands.

“This is not—that was not how it was supposed to—did you have to stare so fixedly…?!” Sighing, he dropped his hands in defeat and lowered his head in a somber manner.

“…I apologize.” The weak murmur that escaped Rei’s lips made Nagisa blink. “I’m aware that no man likes to be nagged at—you surely must find me bad company now.” The blonde’s eyes widened in surprise as the older man covered his red face with one hand. “I realize that I may have been acting immature—my uncle always told me that a truly mature man knows when to let these ‘small issues’ go. I apologize for offending you…” As the man trailed off, the blonde observed him thoughtfully, and soon, he opened his mouth.

“Don’t apologize.” As Rei looked up in surprise, Nagisa looked back at him with a sincere smile, one without any teasing in it. “I didn’t mind at all. I’m happy that you’re being honest with me—and I find this new side of you extremely fun,” he added, with a giggle. “You don’t have to be so polite and mature around me all the time!” Somehow, the way that those wide violet eyes stared at him with—was that hope?—made Nagisa feel strangely happy.

“And also—I don’t really mind your nagging.” At this admittance, the blonde’s smile turned a little shy. “It feels like I am being looked after—it’s quite nice, actually.” Feeling a bit of heat prick his cheeks, the blonde felt an inexplicable urge to change the subject, which he quickly did. “Besides, you are good company—even though you’re pretty much the only company I have!” he added a bit laughingly. Upon hearing this piece of information, Rei blinked.

“Do you not talk with the servants?” he inquired. “They are in and out of my quarters, but they are around the vicinity for most of the day…” At this question, the blonde’s face fell a little.

“…Actually, none of them will talk to me,” he admitted, upon which Rei’s face was taken with surprise. “I’ve tried the first few days, but whenever they see me approaching, they turn silent and walk away from me. And I don’t understand why…” By this point, the blonde was starting to think he had wronged them in some way that he wasn’t aware of.

“…Is that so?” Now there was a frown on Rei’s face—quickly drawing himself up, Nagisa shook both of his hands as if to wave away the man’s concern.

“It’s all right—if they don’t wish to speak to me, they don’t have to!” he said hastily. “And I already have your company, so it’s fine, Rei!” Upon hearing his name fall from the blonde’s lips, the older man’s frown loosened a little, replaced by a slightly bashful look as he looked away from Nagisa towards his side. It was not the first time the boy had called the man by his name—but it seemed that the brunet was still feeling shy about it. The thought made Nagisa’s skin tingle and a smile come onto his face, although the blonde could not fathom why.

“All…All the same, I am not here for most of the day. I would rather that you are not left on your own so often, Nagisa—” As if he had just let a secret slip, Rei stopped short in his words—his mouth hanging open slightly in surprise before his cheeks began to flush. From across the table, the blonde could also feel his own face warming up slightly as his burgundy eyes widened.

It had been five days since their conversation in the study, but it was the first time that Rei had called Nagisa by his first name, as the blonde as told him to. And almost immediately, Nagisa thought he understood why Rei had been so shy all the times he had called the brunet by his name. After five days of wondering if he would ever hear it, it was strange, finally hearing his own name fall from the brunet’s lips. It just felt—different, somehow. And as Rei hurriedly moved on in the conversation, pretending as if nothing significant had happened, the blonde decided how he felt about it.

He couldn’t wait to hear it again. That deep, beautiful voice saying his name. Nagisa blinked.

He wondered when he had started thinking that Rei’s voice was beautiful.

When the servants began speaking to him the next day, Nagisa was startled. Then baffled. The first few times he had genuinely thought they were accidental slipups—but when the fourth servant started talking to him, casually commenting on the weather and asking what he would like to have for lunch that day, he barely stopped his eyes from bulging out in surprise as he stuttered out a startled response. When the fifth servant that day, the grey-haired boy with sky blue eyes, greeted Nagisa with a cheerful smile and a basket of fruit, the blonde strode towards him and, taking the boy by the arm, dragged the startled servant to the sitting room and sat him down on the couch.

“Will you please explain to me what is going on?” the blonde asked urgently, his eyes furtively looking over the couch towards the door where any of the other servants could walk past any minute. “Why are you all being friendly to me all of a sudden? None of you would even talk to me on your own just yesterday!” At that question, the grey-haired boy looked both sheepish and apologetic as he bowed his head towards Nagisa.

“About that—I apologize for us acting so distant before.” The boy fidgeted a little uncomfortably in his seat. “The other servants—well, they did not have a very…favorable impression of you until recently, Your Grace, and since I am the youngest of them, I had to follow along with their intentions—but I realize that that only sounds like an excuse, so I apolo—“

“Just call me Nagisa,” Nagisa interrupted. “And wait, what? So their impression of me changed recently? Why?” His face formed a puzzled frown. “Actually, what was their impression of me before in the first place? Did I do something wrong to get on their case?”

“Ah—well, it’s not so much that you did any wrong towards us, Your Gra—Nagisa-sama.” The servant’s sky-blue eyes shifted a little nervously as he continued. “I—I hope you will not be angry with us—“

“It’s fine, Nitori!” Nagisa said impatiently—he was pretty sure that was this servant’s name, since he had heard his name being called a few times. “I won’t get mad, I promise! So can you please just tell me the reason?”

“…Well, you see, Nagisa-sama…” Nitori began hesitantly. “It was not that we had anything against you personally—it was more due to the fact that we hold high admiration and respect for His Honor Rei. And, with all due respect, Nagisa-sama, your…less-than-favorable attitude towards him before displeased some of the other servants.” As the blonde’s mouth dropped open slightly in surprise, Nitori fidgeted once more before continuing. “I did think that it could be because you were not used to the new environment and your marriage, and I tried to reason with the others that it was probably so, but they would not hear of it. They could only see that you were acting…distant towards His Honor, and they were upset…please do not take their actions to heart. They are good people, it is just that they have been with His Honor for many years—to some of the older servants, he is like their son—so I hope you understand.” And as he stared back at those apologetic sky blue eyes, the blonde did not know what answer to give to that explanation. Eventually, he hesitantly opened his mouth once again.

“But…but still. If…if that was the reason for them avoiding me, then why are they speaking to me again? Why so suddenly?” In the back of his mind, he wondered if a certain blue-haired man had anything to do with the change. As if on cue, Nitori smiled apologetically at Nagisa.

“We saw that the two of you were getting along better as of late, so we had been planning to amend our ways—it’s just that His Honor Rei beat us to our reforms.” He scratched one side of his cheek sheepishly. “After dinner, he called us to his study and scolded us for our behavior towards you, Nagisa-sama. And you must understand, His Honor has never once scolded us servants before—so all of us were very surprised.” Seeing how Nagisa’s burgundy eyes grew wide at this revelation, the grey-haired boy hastily clarified his words. “Please do not receive our actions the wrong way—the others are not acting out of grudging compliance to any orders. Nor are they upset that they were scolded—in fact, I think they were rather happy about receiving complaints from his Honor.” When Nagisa shot him a puzzled look, Nitori explained.

“I have heard that his Sire has always been selfless and undemanding, so it made the others happy when he requested something of them for the first time. And one way or another, the person who influenced him to do so was you, Nagisa-sama. So they are thanking you. I understand that it might seem fickle of us—but please accept our gratitude.” The blue-eyed boy smiled at Nagisa—who suddenly did not know how he should feel about the situation. What the blonde did feel, however, was that strange, warm sensation again, as it enveloped him in way that made his heart feel fuzzy.

‘I would rather that you are not left on your own so often, Nagisa.’ The thought that Rei had scolded the servants for Nagisa, and the fact that he had never done something like that before the blonde came along—how was he supposed to feel?

Perhaps ‘happy’ was a close word. And as he saw the blonde’s cheeks turn rosy and a wide smile spread across his face, Nitori chuckled quietly as he got up, leaving the basket of fruit on the sitting room table and his master’s husband to his own thoughts.

Although he wasn’t sure since when, Nagisa found that he had started to miss Rei’s company during the hours he was away for duty. It wasn’t so much an issue of boredom, since now the servants were being perfectly friendly and kept him company through most parts of the day. Weeks had passed since the blonde first came to live at the palace, and after some time he had made friends with the servant Nitori, who he found out was the same age. And they had spent some afternoons talking about their pasts—Nagisa found out that he and Nitori shared a similar social background. The grey-haired boy had also been orphaned at an early age and lived in the slums until one of the royal guards took pity on him and brought him to work at the palace. Now a youth of seventeen years, Nitori seemed obedient and well-behaved on the outside, but he also had a degree of mischief in him—he had snuck Nagisa around the palace a few times at the blonde’s request and even gave him a tour of the royal kitchen, which was now the blonde’s second favorite place in the palace (the first being Rei’s study). And besides Nitori, the other servants were also quickly starting to warm up to the blonde and his winning personality. Most of them were around the age where they could be Nagisa’s parents, so once they started interacting with their new master it was as if they had gained another son to take care of, and they did so with great pleasure.

But still, it wasn’t the same. Those few hours of the day that Nagisa spent with Rei were different, somehow held a whole other meaning for the blonde. And when his husband was not next to him, the boy found himself specifically missing the older man’s company. So when Nagisa talked with Nitori, they often talked about Rei—there was still so much that the blonde didn’t know about the brunet, so many things that he was curious about.

And one of those things included what Rei was like while on the job. One afternoon, as Nitori folded the laundry in the sitting room, Nagisa had sat down next to the grey-haired boy and was swinging his legs back and forth on the couch in a bored fashion, cheeks puffed out.

“I just don’t understand—why does he have to work all the time?” the blonde complained. “I only ever see him during meals—and even after dinner, he goes out to work! It’s not fair!” Upon hearing this complaint, Nitori laughed good-naturedly as he stacked the last piece of laundry on top.

“If only you’d let His Honor hear you complain—I gather that he’d be very pleased to hear you miss him,” he said teasingly. Although he did not understand the full implication behind those words, Nagisa’s ears began turning pink for a reason that he could not fathom.

“That’s—I never said such a thing!” he muttered stubbornly. “It’s only that—well, it’s strange, don’t you think? Not being able to see someone I’m married to for more than an hour and a half a day!”

“Well, it can’t be helped, Nagisa-kun,” the grey-haired servant replied in a placating voice as he lifted the stack of laundry off the couch and into the basket. “His Honor is the General of the Royal Army, after all. It’s a position that calls for a great amount of responsibility—“

“Wait, what?” The blonde’s eyes widened as he cut in. “He’s the General? As in he commands the entire army? Rei is?” What Nitori returned was a gaze full of disbelief.

“Are you being serious, Nagisa-kun? You are not suggesting that you didn’t know that? After all this time that you spent married to him?” His sky-blue eyes blinked quizzically as the next thought occurred to him. “Actually, would you not have been informed about that sort of thing the moment you were informed of your marriage arrangement?” Feeling overwhelmed, the blonde shook his head in a dazed way, his wide burgundy eyes blinking slowly.

“My sisters told me he’s a royal guard—but I wasn’t told anything besides that,” he admitted. “And whenever I asked Rei about his job, he would always change the subject—“ The blonde’s brow knitted as he thought back to their conversations on the topic at the dining table—the older man had always been evasive when Nagisa asked how work had gone that day, quickly diving into an alternate conversation topic. “I don’t understand—why didn’t he just tell me outright?” For a moment, Nitori’s eyes sparkled with realization. Then, a knowing smile crossed his face and he giggled slightly.

“Considering that he is a modest man, perhaps he simply didn’t want to sound as if he was bragging of his rank.” The grey-haired boy thought for a moment, then carefully added, “And perhaps he knew that you already had a bad impression of the royal guards that you met outside the palace—it’s quite possible that as the General in command, he feels responsible for their uncouth behavior. In fact, it’s quite possible that he thinks you don’t like royal guards in general—they are not all bad, but there are some who go around harassing the kingdom’s citizens, from what I’ve heard—and although the Sultan himself is loved by his people, the royal army is a different matter.” Nagisa’s mouth fell a little open at this suggestion.

“That’s not—I wouldn’t—he’s not like them!” he protested. “I mean, I’ve never seen how he works before, but it’s Rei—I’m positive he’s nothing like those corrupt guards I met in the streets! And even if he commands them, he can’t possibly control everything they do—“

“But actions speak volumes more than words, Nagisa-kun,” Nitori commented wryly. “There are servants’ eyes everywhere you think there are none watching—you must admit that when you were first wed and came to live at the palace, you were wary of His Honor. We caught sight of him leaving the bedroom twice the first night—and from the looks of things, it still doesn’t seem as if there has been any intimacy in the chamber since then.” At these words, the blonde’s face flushed a deep scarlet, the color traveling quickly to his ears.

“Th-that’s none of your business, Ai-chan!” he stuttered, turning his face stubbornly away from Nitori. Along with embarrassment, the blonde suddenly felt a twinge of guilt at how he had flinched away from Rei so directly that first night. “A-and besides, you can’t entirely blame me for that! Rei never spends his nights in that b-bedroom, he always has work during the night!” Once again, Nitori cast the blonde a look of disbelief before he shook his head at his friend.

“I am starting to marvel at your lack of perception, Nagisa-kun. You can’t honestly believe that His Honor doesn’t return to his bedchamber because of his duties—even the General of the royal army must rest at least some nights a week!” At the implication of these words, Nagisa’s burgundy eyes blinked in confusion.

“But—but if he is getting rest during the night, then why—“ The grey-haired servant sighed.

“Ever since the night of your wedding, his Honor has been sleeping in a different room,” he explained, watching surprise flood the blonde’s face. “Please don’t tell me you cannot fathom the reason why.” His sky-blue eyes studied Nagisa as a pink color flooded the blonde’s cheeks.

“I—I never thought of things that way—“ He fumbled with the shawl around his waist. “But I never meant to chase him out like this! If anything, I’m the one who should leave—it’s his bedroom, it’s unfair…” As his voice grew small and trailed off, Nitori’s eyes softened.

“Perhaps you should have a talk with His Honor, then,” he suggested in a gentler voice. Then, as if he had thought of something, the boy smiled as he opened his mouth. “In fact, would you like to go and see him now? I believe this is the time when he is on break—“ Immediately, Nagisa’s burgundy eyes lit up.

“You would take me to see him? Now?” Hearing the enthusiasm in the blonde’s voice, Nitori gave a good-natured laugh.

“I take that as a yes, then?” The grey-haired teen smiled as he picked up the laundry basket from the floor. “Just let me put away these garments first!”

…

Ten minutes later, the two boys were weaving through the arcade that lined the hall next to the guards’ quarters. More guards roamed about the place than Nagisa had ever seen elsewhere, some of them patrolling the halls while others were practicing their fighting skills in the adjoining courtyard. As the blonde’s curious burgundy eyes wandered around the place, Nitori looked towards the far end of the courtyard and spotted the blue-haired man. He tapped the blonde on the shoulder and pointed him in that direction.

“There he is!” Turning his head, Nagisa saw Rei leaning against the column under one of the arches. His arms were crossed and his keen violet eyes were surveying the activity in the courtyard, where two of his men were in the middle of their sparring practice.

Suddenly, the brunet’s eyes flashed, as if he had caught sight of something alarming. In what seemed like a split second, he was in-between the two guards, his bayonet out and resisting the pressure of their sabers as the blades dug into the wooden handle.

“I thought I expressly told you two to resolve your arguments verbally?” Rei’s voice was calm but firm. “Why are you dueling once again? I expected you to practice sparring, not fight each other to the death.”

“But General—!“ “This bastard has insulted my pride yet again—!” Both guards’ protests fell on deaf ears, as the brunet’s violet eyes shot them an intimidating look of sternness that made them quail.

“I will not have my finest guards kill each other off for petty reasons—not under my watch.” His voice was equally intimidating, a tone that Nagisa had never heard from Rei before. “And do not argue with me—there is no reason that is good enough to justify comrades taking each other’s lives. Not when the kingdom needs both of you—do you understand?” At his reprimand, both guards fell quiet, dropping their sabers at last, their heads now bowed down in shame. Sighing, Rei put the end of his bayonet down on the ground, his tone softening as he said his next words.

“You should be protecting lives, not trying to take them. That is what it means to be a guard, a soldier.” At that moment, Nagisa thought that a somber look briefly crossed the brunet’s eyes—but just as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone. “Now, can I trust the both of you to go to the fountain and cool your heads in peace?”

“—Yes, sir.” Hearing the two guards respond, Rei nodded at them dismissively.

“Good. Now go and take a break—and if I ever see or hear of this happening again, you will both be dismissed from your positions immediately. Understand?”

“Sir, yes sir!” Saluting, the guards collected their sabers from the ground and sheathed them, walking away towards the arcade to enter the inner hall. Letting out another small sigh, Rei turned, his eyes incidentally falling on a spot on the opposite side of the courtyard—

When his eyes took in a wide-eyed, slightly open-mouthed Nagisa, the blue-haired man nearly jumped out of his skin. Registering Rei’s surprise, the blonde also started slightly, realizing that his presence had been noticed by his husband. From across the courtyard, he thought he saw Rei hesitate—then, the older man was striding forward, crossing the square in his direction. Starting to panic a little for some reason, the blonde turned to hide behind Nitori—but he found that the servant was suddenly nowhere to be seen. Cursing the grey-haired boy for his untimely disappearance, Nagisa began fidgeting as Rei drew closer, his burgundy gaze fixed on the ground. When the brunet was about four steps away from the blonde, he stopped, clearing his throat slightly.

“What—what are you doing here, Nagisa?” Rei’s voice sounded worlds different from what it had sounded like when addressing his guards—nervous, and a little anxious as well. “Did something happen?”

“Eh? Ah—uhm, no! It’s nothing like that, really! I was, um, I was just talking to Ai-chan and he, um, said that you might be on break right now, so he guided me here—“ Wondering if he was getting the servant in trouble, the blonde gulped and hastily continued. “But it wasn’t his fault, I swear! I asked him to take me to see you, so—“

“You…you wanted to see me…?” Hearing Rei’s surprised question, Nagisa felt the urge to clap his hands over his mouth. Ears flushing pink, the blonde quickly averted his eyes, the rosy glow starting to spread to his cheeks for some reason.

“I-I—w-well, I was just curious about what you’re like on the job! Since you never mention anything in detail at dinner—“ Remembering what Nitori had told him about Rei’s position, Nagisa quickly turned back towards the brunet with reproachful eyes. “And speaking of which, you never even told me you were the general of the army! I only found out about it from Ai-chan today!” At this last comment, Rei’s face fell slightly.

“You…found out?” His tone was hesitant as he addressed Nagisa. “…Well, I suppose that it was inevitable…although I did not wish for you to see me like this…” Hearing the brunet’s voice droop made Nagisa recall Nitori’s earlier speculations about Rei, and the blonde’s eyes softened as he regarded he man before him.

“…It doesn’t change anything, you know?” The boy’s voice was quiet, but earnest. “I wouldn’t change my attitude towards you just because of a title—maybe in the past I would have, but not now.” Remembering Nitori’s comments about his prior attitude towards Rei, the blonde hesitantly stepped forward a little towards a surprised Rei. “I—I’m sorry, Rei. Before, I assumed too much about your character and judged it poorly—that must be why you’re still walking on eggshells and hiding things from me.” Feeling the flush return to his cheeks, the blonde opened his mouth to say his next words. “I, I even heard that—that you use a separate be—“

“General Rei!” The familiar cheerful voice that boomed from behind Nagisa startled him and made him jump. Whirling around in surprise, the blonde saw that it was the orange-haired guard who had escorted him to Rei’s quarters on his first night at the palace. “I heard that those two sergeants of yours were dueling again—do you need me to knock some sense into them?”

“Officer Mikoshiba…!” Snapping out of his momentary surprise, Rei shook his head with a rueful smile. “Thank you, but that won’t be necessary—I believe I have put a stop to the worst of their disagreement.” Upon this response, the guard named Mikoshiba flashed a cheerful grin back at Rei.

“Now, that’s the General I know. Capable as always!” The orange-haired man then noticed Nagisa’s presence. “Ah—if it isn’t the General’s beloved! Good afternoon, sire—it has been a while!”

“Ah—good afternoon, sir,” Nagisa replied politely. “Thank you for escorting me on the first day.”

“You are most welcome!” the guard replied cheerfully. “Pardon me for not realizing your presence—I would hope that I was not interrupting your moment with your husband! Especially since you are still newly-wedded—I can imagine what happy times these days must be for the two of you!” He grinned knowingly towards Rei, whose face promptly flushed. “You must take great care of your husband, General—you are fortunate to have wedded such a becoming person!” As Nagisa also began to blush, the orange-haired guard let out a last booming laugh before saluting Rei. “My best wishes to you both! This soldier shall retreat!” With that, the guard walked away, leaving the awkward couple behind.

“—Ahaha—“ It was Nagisa who first broke the awkward silence with his awkward laughter. “That officer—Mikoshiba, was it?—he seems quite friendly!”

“—Yes. He has always been quite—forward.” Rei’s ears were still pink as he responded. “Please do not let his comments unsettle you—he means no ill will or discomfort.” Clearing his throat, Rei continued. “He used to rank right above me in my days before I assumed the General’s position—that is why he addresses me with such familiarity.” Upon hearing this new piece of information, Nagisa’s brow furrowed quizzically.

“He ranked above you in the past? Then shouldn’t he rank above you now?”

“He has, actually. Officer Mikoshiba—he is currently a lower officer, but until about a year ago, he was the General of the army before I rose to the position,” Rei explained. “Ever since His Highness Rin inherited the throne, the rank system in the military has changed. The General changes every five years, and after his term ends, he returns to being a lower officer in the royal guard.” The brunet’s eyes returned to the orange-haired officer as he stopped in the courtyard to slap some of the soldiers on the back good-naturedly, his violet irises glowing with respect.

“He was a good General. He was friendly to his men, but at the same time he was strict—he had both their admiration and respect.” And again, Rei’s voice grew somber, in a way that Nagisa felt reflected the look in the man’s eyes that had appeared earlier as he was reprimanding the two sergeants. “If he had still been General now, those two soldiers from earlier would not have dueled twice. I only know how to be a scholar—he is a much better man for the position than I am.”

In truth, Nagisa did not know a lot about Rei as a royal guard—this was the first time he had even seen Rei at his job, and then again, while the man was on his break. But one thing the blonde knew was that he hated the somber look on the brunet’s face—one that seemed to say that he was not good enough, not worthy enough. Before he knew it, Nagisa had drawn himself up with earnest indignation as he opened his mouth.

“That’s not true, Rei!” His burgundy eyes shone fiercely as they bore into Rei’s startled violet orbs. “You know that isn’t true—even I can tell it isn’t! So what if those two guards fought before and fought again today? You were able to stop them from killing each other, weren’t you? And I know that doesn’t happen easily, I’ve seen duels happen before on the streets and none of them ever being stopped!” His hands tightly gripped the edges of the shawl around his waist as he went on furiously. “And I heard what you told those soldiers—every word you said was right! I don’t know how Officer Mikoshiba would have said those things, but you were right in being strict, in being serious—what you were saying was important and it was the right moment to come off that way! And if your words didn’t reach them, they would have continued fighting as they’d been doing—so have some faith in yourself!” Biting his lip, he looked down at the ground, the grip on his shawl loosening.

“Although—although I don’t know everything about your actions as the General, I know—you would treat them fairly, just like how you have treated me ever since I first came to the palace. I just—I know that’s the kind of person you are, Rei. So don’t think so poorly about yourself—there’s no reason to…” Not knowing how to wrap up his jumbled words, all the blonde could do was stare down at his feet while blinking furiously—he himself was just as taken-aback at the sudden vent of emotion that had come from within him.

But all other thoughts faded when that familiar calloused hand, those two hands gently took his own away from the shawl around his waist. As his large burgundy eyes blinked at the sudden warmth, Nagisa looked up in surprise at the older man, who was smiling down at him. It was no longer a somber smile—but a sincere one, with what felt like all the thankfulness to be given in the world—and it was aimed at no one else but him, that soft smile and those deep, gently-glowing violet eyes that held the blonde’s reflection in them.

“Thank you.” His voice was quiet but every bit sincere. “You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you, Nagisa.” When he heard his name fall from the brunet’s lips—somehow carrying so much meaning that the blonde could not fathom—it sent a flurry of shivers down Nagisa’s spine and a series of flutters through his heart. Suddenly, he had a powerful urge to bolt from the courtyard, away from Rei—he was sure that the flush was traveling down his neck now, and his hands were beginning to sweat in the older man’s gentle hold.

“—I, I uhm, I think I’ve gotta go now!” He heard his voice squeak a voice two octaves higher. “To the toilets, yes!! That’s it!! See you later!!” With that, he tore his hands away from Rei’s and really bolted from the courtyard, his entire body starting to turn red, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

What in the world was wrong with him?

Chapter Text

By the time he finally snapped out of his daze, Nagisa realized he had wandered back to his and Rei’s quarters on his own. When Nitori arrived minutes later and apologized for disappearing suddenly, said that he had only meant to give the two of them some time alone and did not know that the blonde would run off on his own, that he had worried Nagisa would lose his way in the palace, the blonde only nodded absently in response with a dazed “It’s okay, Ai-chan.” As the grey-haired servant observed him with puzzled eyes, the blonde wandered through the rest of his day as if he was in a trance—the hands that Rei had held knitting themselves together and breaking themselves apart, over and over.

It had just been a gesture of thanks—so why was it making him so restless?

He was almost relieved when Rei could not make it to dinner that day. But at the same time, he could not shake off his disappointment, knowing that he would probably not see the brunet again until breakfast the next day. For the rest of the evening, he played Rei’s grateful smile, that meaningful look in his violet eyes in his mind over and over. And when he found himself continuing to do so in bed, he found that he could not fall asleep. Feeling slightly frustrated with himself, the blonde kicked off his blankets and jumped off the mattress, trotting over to the bedside table and lighting the lantern. As the flame of the candle inside lit the dark room with an amber glow, the blonde walked over to stand in the middle of the bedroom.

It had been a long while since Nagisa had danced—it had hardly occurred to the blonde to try dancing in Rei’s quarters, since he was surrounded by furniture and the servants were always around. But in the bedroom, where it was just spacious enough, he decided to try—before, whenever he could not fall asleep, dancing had helped soothe him into a sleepy state. Picking up his folded shawl from the nearby chair, the blonde held both ends in his hands as he stood still for a moment, going over the steps of one of his favorite dances in his head. Although it felt slightly odd to dance in such a place, his foot took a step forward—and everything that followed fell in place.

But even as he danced, the blonde found himself thinking about the older man with that crop of royal blue hair, those unique violet eyes that pulsated a glow, those thin lips that could smile the gentlest of smiles. He could feel a shiver run down his body as he danced, starting from his fingertips as he remembered how Rei had taken his hands in the courtyard, traveling down his arms and his back to his swaying legs and light feet. Although the blonde himself wasn’t aware of it, the unfamiliar emotions swirling in him brought out a whole new side to his dance, one that he had stepped through a countless number of times before. The candlelight moved over his body like a liquid, brushing the bobbing golden locks of his hair and his lashes, the contours of his face which held a faraway look of entrancement, briefly highlighting his filmy shawl and garments and jewelry as well as his smooth limbs and lithe torso, catching the outlines of his nimble feet—as the blonde lost himself in his familiar, yet unfamiliar dance.

It was only when he heard the sound of an object dropping to the floor with a clatter that he realized someone else had entered the room.

“!” Immediately, Nagisa stopped short in his next step and whirled around. His burgundy eyes widened when he saw Rei standing there, mouth dropped slightly open, those violet orbs glowing with a look of captivation. When the older man realized that Nagisa was facing him, he quickly averted his eyes and snapped out of his trance, dropping to the floor and scrambling to recollect whatever item he had dropped before quickly shooting up again.

“I-I’m sorry!” the brunet said hastily. “I did not know you were—I thought you would be asleep—I didn’t mean to interrupt anything!” As he heard the older man stutter, Nagisa began to flush a deep red as he dropped the shawl he had been holding to the floor.

“I-It’s all right!” he squeaked, quickly averting his eyes back to his feet, his hands bunched up in the fabric of his pants. “That was just—I couldn’t fall asleep, so I was just—“ All of a sudden, he felt hyper-aware of himself, and all he wanted to leap under the covers of the bed and bury himself out of sight. Panicking slightly, he wondered how long Rei had been standing there—how much of his dancing the older man had seen—if he had not messed up on his steps or had not moved in a funny way. He then blinked owlishly as he realized something.

Rei was here. In the same bedroom. When he had never shown up there before, at this hour. Looking back up at Rei with confused eyes, the blonde opened his mouth.

“But what brings you here, Rei? You never come here in the evening—” Something Rei had said also occurred to Nagisa. “And if you thought that I would be asleep, then why—“ At this question, the brunet’s face burst into flames as he quickly drew himself up and hastily shook his hands as if to dispel any misunderstandings.

“I-It’s not what you might be thinking—I had no improper motives in mind, I assure you!” The panicked look on the older man’s face might have made Nagisa laugh if the blonde had not been busy flushing at the implication of Rei’s words. “I just—I had something that I wanted to give you—but I could not make it to dinner and I will probably not be able to make it to breakfast tomorrow, so—I was going to set it on the bedside table—“ The mention of his predicted absence in the morning made Nagisa frown immediately.

“You aren’t going to be there at breakfast?” he cut in. “But why?” Although he already knew the reason, the grip on his pants tightened as his eyes swiveled to the ground. “You missed dinner as well—and I barely see you during the day as it is…” Suddenly realizing that he had simultaneously admitted he missed Rei’s presence during the day and probably sounded selfish, he hastily opened his mouth. “B-but if it’s for your duties, then I guess it can’t be helped! Haha—I’m sorry, I don’t know what got into me—“ A twinge went through his conscious when he saw Rei’s face take on that somber look again.

“I’m sorry, Nagisa.” Even his voice was somber—it made Nagisa want to slap himself for complaining. “I realized how dull every day must be for you, even with the servants around—they have their own duties to go about, and in my quarters you would hardly have anything to occupy yourself with. My duties have kept me busy most days, and the thought did not occur to me until much later—I apologize for my shortsightedness.” It seemed as if the older man thought Nagisa just wanted his company to keep himself amused—and that was not what the blonde had meant at all. Sensing that his words had been taken the wrong way, Nagisa drew himself up impatiently.

“No, that’s not it, Rei! It’s just that I—“ ‘It’s just that I want to see you more!’ But for some reason, the words stuck in his throat, and all of a sudden, his cheeks felt hot with embarrassment. “…It’s just that…mealtimes are lonely when I have to eat on my own,” he managed to mumble out, feeling afraid to be honest for some reason. “And I do wish that…that you were around more often.” As Rei’s violet eyes widened, a blush bloomed across Nagisa’s cheeks—he felt that was the closest he could get to expressing the extent of his feelings. “But I’m not trying to blame you for it…honest…” As his voice grew smaller, a look of determination crossed Rei’s violet eyes.

“…I understand. I promise that I will not miss any more mealtimes,” he replied in a firm voice. “And I will try to see what I can do about finishing my duties faster during the day.” Hearing these promises, Nagisa looked up, burgundy eyes glowing with hope.

“You would really do that, Rei?” The blonde’s gaze made Rei avert his own as his cheeks flushed.

“O—Of course. If it can reduce your loneliness, I…I would do so gladly.” The admittance sent a warm flutter across Nagisa’s heart and made the blonde’s lips curve up in a soft smile—one that made the breath hitch in Rei’s throat.

“…Thank you.” At the soft-spoken words, the older man turned away once more, readjusting his glasses in a flustered way.

“It is nothing.” He raised his other hand to run a hand through his hair—and remembered the object that it held enclosed in its fingers.

“That’s right—I wanted to give you this.” He unfolded his fingers to reveal the object in his hand. The blonde blinked curiously when he saw a bronze key lying in the older man’s palm. “It’s a key to the study,” Rei explained. “It is kept locked during the day, and I remembered how much you seemed to enjoy looking through the place—so I wanted you to have this.” He smiled at the wide-eyed blonde. “It is not much—but I hope you will be able to keep yourself better occupied during the day—“

“I can use it during the day?!” Nagisa’s excited squeal pierced through Rei’s words. “I can use all the instruments and look through all the books?” His boyish burgundy eyes sparkled as they looked up at Rei with delight. Seeing the childlike look on the blonde’s face made the older man chuckle.

“Of course you can. I have kept the study for my studies, but I rarely get to use it—it is locked up for so many hours of the day. It would make me happy if you used it.” He held the key out towards Nagisa. “Please take it.” Feeling touched, Nagisa shyly accepted the key from Rei—a slight shiver running down his arm when their hands brushed slightly. To dispel his own embarrassment, he opened his mouth and piped up in a playful voice.

“So I can draw on the parchment on the walls? And spin the instruments around and play with them?” Not fully gathering these words, Rei smiled and nodded.

“Yes, that would be—wait, ‘draw on the parchment’?! You absolutely cannot! It would be one thing for you to draw on empty parchment but to scribble things on the walls—that would most certainly not be beautiful! And what do you mean by playing around with the instruments?!” The apparent alarm on Rei’s face made Nagisa burst into laughter.

“It was just a joke, Rei! Of course I won’t do anything like that!” Though he had once done something similar to his uncle’s study when he was younger—but the blonde chose not to mention the fact to his husband. “I promise not to destroy anything!” Realizing that he had been played, Rei sputtered wordlessly before letting out a sigh of defeat.

“I must say, I cannot tell when you are joking and when you are being serious,” he grumbled. In response, Nagisa hummed pleasantly.

“My sisters used to say the same about me—but they are just as bad in that respect!” As the blonde let out a yawn at the end of the sentence, Rei blinked as he remembered the hour.

“It seems your sleepiness has returned. I shall see you tomorrow at noon, then.” He smiled at Nagisa, whose eyes sparked as if remembering something. “I wish you a peaceful slumber, Nagisa.” He turned and was about to leave the room when a hand shot out and grabbed him by the wrist.

“Wait!” The sound of the blonde’s nervous but earnest voice pierced the air. Surprised and a little flustered at the contact, Rei turned around to face Nagisa. The blonde was biting his lip as he averted his eyes for the moment, his cheeks flushed red—the grip around Rei’s wrist still tight.

“You—You should sleep here, Rei.”

Rei would not have been surprised had his glasses cracked at that statement. Choking on his own breath, he coughed once and twice violently before he gasped out an answer.

“Pardon…?!” As if sensing the underlying context, the apparent flush on Nagisa’s cheeks spread to his ears as he hurriedly went on to explain.

“I, I heard from Ai-chan—that you’ve been retiring to a different chamber to sleep ever since I came here.” Releasing Rei’s wrist, Nagisa’s hands fumbled with the fabric of his shirt as the boy spoke in a small voice. “He said it was out of consideration for me—b-but it doesn’t make sense, Rei. If anyone should sleep in a different room, it’s me, not you—this is your bedroom in your quarters.” His face turned a darker shade of red as he stuttered out his next words. “I—I don’t feel r-ready for—for consummation. At, at the least, not yet—b-but I would not mind you sleeping by my side. Your bed is larger than what I am used to…” As his mind considered another possibility, his voice hastily added, “And if you’d rather sleep alone, I’ll more than happily use another chamber—“

“That won’t be necessary.” As Rei’s words cut in, the brunet’s violet eyes widened—almost as if he had not know his own lips would speak these words. Flushing, he quickly explained, “I mean, I would not mind if—if you slept beside me…as well…” As if on reflex, the older man quickly reached up to straighten his perfectly-positioned spectacles, trying to hide his burning face. “I…I promise that I will not try to do anything…untoward to you. You are good company, and I do not wish to tarnish our relationship as of now.” The tone in his voice as well as Rei’s actions before told Nagisa that the man truly meant those words. “That is, if you really are all right with me being by your side—“

“I am.” The blonde’s voice was also equally earnest—although he still could not bring himself to meet Rei’s eyes. “Please—please stay. It gets a little lonely, in that big bed by myself…and I think you would be good company, too.” His hands wove themselves together shyly behind his back.

“If…if that is what you want.” Rei’s voice was small, and nervous. His cheeks still pink, the blonde only nodded twice in response. “Very well…then I will return here…after changing, that is.”

Only after the brunet closed the door behind him did Nagisa’s legs give out from under him. Falling to the floor in a nervous heap, he buried his burning face in his knees, nuzzling them furiously as he let a drawn-out wail of embarrassment escape his throat.

“What have I done?!” he said to himself, clutching his burning cheeks with his hands. “Did I actually say all those things out loud?!” Rei was not even back in the room yet, and Nagisa was already starting to regret his actions a little. If just the thought of sleeping in the same room was making him this nervous, how bad would it be when the brunet was actually in bed with him?

As Nagisa found out, it was about ten times worse. When Rei reentered the room in his sleeping garments, the blonde was already lying on one side of the bed, his back turned towards the man’s eyes. He felt his blush increase by tenfold when the brunet hesitantly sat himself down on the mattress and lay down, sliding the other half of the covers over his body. Feeling extremely conscious of the new weight beside him, Nagisa could not bring himself to turn his head around, his heart thumping hard in his chest. But he did not want Rei to feel as if he was rejecting his presence all over again—so he gathered what was left of his courage and nervously uttered a few words.

“Good night—Rei.” The blonde’s soft voice rang in the air between them. Again, Rei’s eyes widened before a small smile graced his face.

“Good night, Nagisa.” Reaching over to the lantern, the brunet blew out the candlelight, and the room darkened. For the rest of the night that the two of them were awake, they did not exchange any other words—even when they were facing opposite directions, Nagisa felt strangely nervous, too nervous to even turn over on the mattress to find a comfortable position. But at the same time, as he felt Rei’s presence next to him, a familiar warmth reproduced itself in his heart. Although the blonde thought he would never fall asleep at this rate, he eventually dozed off, giving himself to slumber that night.

…

It was unusual for the servants to find that Rei had not woken up early the following morning. When they did not find him at the extra bedchamber, they exchanged knowing glances with each other before heading over to the main bedroom in the quarters. When they entered to wake Rei, they found a sight that made them smile. Deciding to let their master sleep in some more, they quietly closed the bedroom door behind them.

In the chamber, Nagisa had rolled over to Rei’s side of the bed sometime during the night. One of the boy’s hands clung to the slumbering man’s nightshirt as he slept, his cheek pressed against the brunet’s back as he snored softly. In his sleep, the blonde smiled happily, as if he was in the middle of a pleasant dream.

When Rei joined Nagisa for his meal at lunch, the blonde found that the man was being oddly shy. While it was not as if Nagisa himself was feeling entirely un-shy—they had shared a bed for the first time since their wedding, after all—he found that the brunet was averting his eyes and readjusting his spectacles too much—a habit that Nagisa discovered the brunet showed when he was feeling embarrassed or nervous. What the blonde did not know was that when Rei had woken up from his slumber first, he had found the boy clutching his nightshirt with his cheek pressed against his back. Nagisa himself knew nothing of how he had slept during the night, as Rei was already gone when he had woken up from his sleep. Feeling a bit curious about the situation, the blonde spoke from across the table.

“How were your duties this morning, Rei?” he asked conversationally, trying to fill the slightly nervous silence between them. “I saw the weather outside—it was magnificent, there was even a slight breeze blowing. It was a good morning!” At Nagisa’s words, Rei blinked as if coming out of a trance.

“Y-yes, it was. My duties—nice weather—yes. Very nice.” The man cursed himself silently for his twisting tongue. Upon hearing his jumbled words, Nagisa giggled slightly.

“You seem a bit off today, Rei. Why?” he asked with a smile. Upon seeing it, the brunet man blushed slightly.

“It—it is nothing!” he said quickly. “Just—my mind was elsewhere for a moment, that is all—“ Wondering if he should change the topic for now, Nagisa opened his mouth again.

“I actually visited the study while you were gone!” he said, beaming. “It was just as wonderful as last time—and don’t worry, I did nothing to damage the instruments or the parchment on the walls!” he added teasingly. For hours until noon, the blonde had immersed himself in the numerous books in the room, especially those with many pages of illustrations. Taking in the blonde’s smile, Rei’s violet eyes softened. Then, they noticed a cord hanging around Nagisa’s neck—he recognized the bronze key that he had given the blonde last night attached to the leather string.

“You are wearing it,” he commented, surprised. “The key I gave you.” The blonde nodded cheerfully.

“Ai-chan found a cord for me and made it into a necklace!” he explained. “This way, I won’t ever lose it!” Seeing the blonde’s sparkling eyes look down at the key made Rei smile. “After all, I had fun looking at all the pictures—it was almost as fun as dancing!” Hearing the last comment suddenly caused something to occur to Rei.

“Nagisa. Would you mind finishing lunch a little quickly?” As Nagisa blinked curiously, the older man pushed up his spectacles with a smile. “I have a place that I would like to show you.”

Roses and other exotic flowers surrounded the small, hidden courtyard in the palace. Their blossoms were like bright jewels against the emerald leaves of the brush that lined the square. The tiles were not as fancy as some of the ones that lined other courtyards in the palace—but all the same, they were a warm rosy color that Nagisa found to his liking. There were even a few palm trees that rose out of the grass against a corner of the square, their shade looking cool and inviting. And there was also a small marble fountain in another corner, full of fresh, flowing water. As Nagisa looked around the area with shining eyes, Rei smiled from behind him.

“There are not many who know about this courtyard,” he told the blonde. “I first discovered it when I was fifteen—every time I was not feeling well or needed a moment by myself, I would come here and spend some time alone. This place was always my secret refuge.” At this information, Nagisa raised a puzzled brow.

“But if it was your secret place, then why did you bring me here?” he asked curiously. Rei blushed at this question.

“I simply thought that you might like this place,” he replied a little shyly, rubbing the back of his head with one hand. “I am sure that you would also need your moments alone—please feel free to come here when you do.” His violet eyes glowed as he said his next words. “And also—I thought you could come here and dance, when you want to. It is much more spacious here than in the bedroom or in my quarters—and you would not have to worry about any eyes watching you.” Even without realizing it, a quietly captivated smile had formed on his face. “I only glimpsed a few moments of it last night—but your dance was beautiful. Just as before…” Hearing these words made Nagisa turn scarlet, the bright blush accompanied by a pronounced skip of his heartbeat.

“That was just—I was only playing, not dancing seriously—you don’t have to flatter me!” he protested, flustered. “And what do you mean by ‘before’?” he asked in a more confused voice. “You’ve seen me dance before that night?” As if he had suddenly realized something, Rei started, his eyes growing wide and a little shifty.

“N-no—I must have mis-phrased my words!” he replied hastily. “I, I only meant that you must have danced beautifully before, as well! That is, with your three elder sisters on your dance troupe!” Slightly puzzled at the brunet’s reaction, Nagisa shrugged off the feeling that he was missing some context in their conversation. As he did, Rei continued in a sincere voice. “And I meant what I said about your dance—it was truly beautiful, whether you were just improvising or not. It was not empty flattery.” Flushing slightly, he turned his head away from Nagisa, readjusting his glasses. “I, I must admit that even though I admire the beauty of the dance, I myself cannot dance well—that is why I admire your talent.” The remark made Nagisa’s heart flutter once more, and he let out a nervous laugh as he quickly dropped his eyes towards the ground.

“W-well, I’ve been dancing almost all my life—ever since I first learned to walk, in fact! It would be stranger if I couldn’t dance well!” Stepping out towards the center of the courtyard, the blonde toed his way around the space, seeming to glide through the air in a way that captivated Rei. “And there’s no rule to a beautiful dance—it’s as easy as one, two, three. I think you would be able to fly if you tried, Rei!” Twirling around airily on his feet with the veil on his head billowing around him, the blonde turned and smiled at the older man.

“Thank you for sharing your secret place with me!” Rei’s eyes widened. Then, he returned the smile with one of his own, one that glowed with a hint of nostalgia.

“You are welcome.” As Nagisa moved around the courtyard with grace, the brunet’s reverent eyes followed the blonde. “You are always welcome,” Rei murmured quietly to himself, the edges of his expression softening even more.

It turned out that Rei did hold himself to his words, and Nagisa could only feel happy about the fact. Every day after his promise, Rei surely and regularly joined Nagisa at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He even completed his duties ahead of time—Nagisa found out that most of his evening duties consisted of paperwork—and returned to his quarters about an hour or two after finishing dinner with the blonde.

They spent much of their time together in the study, where Rei had started to teach Nagisa his letters once more, and where Nagisa was finding that the brunet was an obsessed man when it came to theories and calculations. Sometimes the blonde found that he could not understand what Rei was saying—and sometimes he asked Rei to clarify himself, while other times he just left the older man to his passionate rambling, just enjoying the sound of his excited voice.

During his lessons, Nagisa found that Rei was a good teacher—he never used overcomplicated words when it came to teaching Nagisa his letters, and he was never prideful about having had more education than the blonde. He was self-confident in other things, like his understanding of theories and equations—but he was never prideful, unlike many of the men Nagisa had known in his life. And Rei was a patient teacher—Nagisa knew that he was not exactly the model student, because he tended to throw his hands up many times during their learning sessions and drop his head onto the parchment in frustration. And yet, Rei never abandoned him—the brunet did chide the blonde on continuing his efforts, but it was never done out of impatience or genuine anger. Nagisa had heard stories about how strict teachers could be at the schools that only those of the middle class and above had the luxury to attend—that they could be extremely intimidating and merciless and flag their students with their pointers. But Rei was never like those rumored teachers—and it was because he was just the right balance of lenient and strict that Nagisa revived his efforts over and over during their lessons. And perhaps a small, tiny part of his efforts had to do with wanting to hear Rei praise him. Whenever the brunet said he was doing well in that warm voice, one that made Nagisa’s skin tingle with pleasure, the blonde could not help but smile foolishly as if he was a man who had struck gold. Hearing those praises always made him oddly happy, made him want to strive harder just so he could hear them again and again.

Sometimes, Nagisa arrived at the study a little late and would find Rei sitting at his desk, his violet eyes emanating quiet focus as he read a book. Sometimes, he would approach Rei immediately and surprise him with a shout in his ear, and other times he would have to wheedle the brunet for his attention when the older man told him to give him just five more minutes so he could finish the passage. Other times, Nagisa quietly hung back and watched Rei, running his eyes over the brunet’s profile, entranced by the graceful arch of his forehead and nose, the curves of his lips and the line of his chin. It was in these moments that the blonde finally became consciously aware of how handsome Rei was—these moments and others as well, such as the times when he visited Rei at his station in the palace during his breaks, when he saw some of the female courtesans stop by and chat with him, fluttering their fans and tittering with high voices as they laughed superficially in high falsettos.

And when Nagisa saw them flirt with Rei, a flare of anger welled up in his stomach for some reason. Telling himself that it was probably just social indignation, that Rei was his husband after all and even the most detached spouse would feel displeased when others made passes at their husband, he would diffuse the situation by casually approaching Rei and greeting him, thus casually getting in the way of the courtesans’ conversations with the man. The courtesans looked ruffled every time, but at least Rei didn’t seem to notice anything strange—he was probably not even aware that the women were trying to flirt with him. And that had the blonde wishing the brunet was a little sharper in those kinds of situations—but then, as he caught himself wishing these things, he also began wondering what exactly he wanted from Rei.

Though they were married, it was not as if they were…in love with each other, Nagisa thought. They acted like friends around each other, and that was probably the closest word to what they were at the moment. In fact, the blonde realized, a good part of the better arranged marriages probably ended up that way—the two people becoming good friends and partners in life, but not really loving each other romantically. Considering what the less happy arranged marriages ended up like, the blonde supposed that he had been lucky—at the present, several weeks into his own marriage, he had no doubts about the fact that Rei was a good man. But what happened between such couples in the end? He had heard many stories of married men having external lovers—even the kindest of husbands had their love affairs. And while most spouses tolerated them—either grudgingly or out of understanding—Nagisa wondered whether he could do the same for Rei. The strong, cold sensation that flooded his heart at even the thought of Rei having a lover startled him. He wondered if it was his sense of pride that was responsible for this feeling.

But then again, Nagisa thought that something had been wrong with his emotions, probably ever since he had first spoken with Rei in the study. He had no idea what caused them to become so…strange, as they were now. All it took was Rei’s hand brushing against his, or Rei leaning in from behind his shoulder to correct one of his letters, or any sort of physical contact at all from the brunet—in a matter of fractions of seconds, the sensation shot something like electricity through the blonde, making his heart beat erratically and causing a shiver to run down his spine—and the place where Rei had touched him felt significantly warmer, almost as if he had been burned lightly. Not knowing what was wrong with himself, Nagisa grew uncharacteristically flustered each time—all he knew was that, somehow, the feeling that accompanied these reactions was not an unpleasant one. In the few initial moments, it had him panicking—but in the following moments, it enveloped him in a pleasant warmth that the blonde had never before felt in his life.

What was stranger was that Rei did not even have to touch Nagisa for these sensations to occur. All it took was the man’s violet eyes watching him, or a smile on those thin lips, or a quiet laugh or word of praise in that deep voice, and all of those sensations would be reproduced within the blonde in a heartbeat. It was especially problematic when Rei was just looking at him, because in all other situations, Nagisa could hide his sudden bouts of embarrassment and blushes as they came, but he could not when Rei was actively watching him. Just feeling that violet stare on him made Nagisa feel shy, feel oddly conscious of the man.

Once, he had been dancing in Rei’s secret courtyard—the blonde liked to think it was their secret courtyard now—when Rei unexpectedly stopped by for a breather. The man had asked if he could linger for a while and watch, and Nagisa had let him—and the whole time during the dance, he had kept making mistakes where he normally never made them. He even tripped over his feet at the finale—and yet, when Rei extended a hand to help him up, the brunet had said his dancing was beautiful, with that captivated look in his eyes that always made Nagisa want to squirm and dig himself a hole to hide in.

When the blonde hesitantly took Rei’s hand, there they came again—those shivers down his back, the heat in his cheeks, the hammering of his heart. And perhaps he had been imagining things, but Rei’s hand had seemed to linger around his own for a while, before releasing it.

The warmth in Nagisa’s hand seemed to remain there through the whole day, as if it had imprinted itself into his skin.

One day, he told Nitori about his strangeness around Rei. When he heard about it, the grey-haired boy’s sky-blue eyes began twinkling as a knowing smile formed on his face.

“Are you sure that is such a bad thing, Nagisa-kun?” he asked teasingly. Nagisa frowned slightly, his chin propped up on his knees as he sat with his arms wrapped around his legs on the couch.

“Yes—well, yes, and no. Actually—I don’t know,” he murmured, unsure of himself. “It’s strange, Ai-chan—I’ve never felt like this around anyone else before. I don’t understand it—I’m positive that Rei didn’t do anything wrong, and yet—“ Seeing his master and friend scrunch up his brow, Nitori giggled softly as he set aside his broom for a moment.

“His Honor has waited long enough, that is for sure,” he murmured, half to himself.

“Hm?” Nagisa blinked his eyes. “Did you say something, Ai-chan?” Smiling, the servant shook his head.

“It’s nothing, Nagisa-kun. Perhaps you should embrace those feelings and figure out what they mean yourself.” Seeing the knowing look in those sky blue eyes mad Nagisa frown once more.

“You know, don’t you, Ai-chan? About why I am feeling this way?” he demanded. “Why will you not tell me the reason?” At this accusation, Nitori laughed.

“But Nagisa-kun, there is no point of me telling you what it is!” Thinking of a certain red-haired ma who was close and yet far away, the grey-haired boy’s eyes softened. “When you find out what it is for yourself, you’ll understand why.” Seeing the soft smile on Nitori’s face made Nagisa blink—he had never seen his friend with such an expression before. But the boy’s expression quickly slid back into its usual cheerful look as he added,

“Don’t forget to tell me what it is when you find out!”

Chapter Text

When he felt a weight slide onto the bed next to him in the middle of the night, Nagisa awoke from his sleep. Rubbing his eyes, he turned his head and made out the silhouette of Rei’s body as the man lay back on his pillow. Feeling his husband move, the older man’s voice rang out quietly in the dark.

“Ah—did I wake you, Nagisa? I’m sorry—I went out on the balcony to take a breath of fresh air and I—“ At his apology, the blonde sleepily shook his head.

“It’s all right—I don’t think I was that deep in slumber to begin with.” His thoughts about the very man sleeping next to him had made him restless that night, and he could not remember when exactly he had fallen asleep. “What about you, Rei? Did you have trouble falling asleep?”

“Well…yes.” Rei cleared his throat. “I was…just thinking about a few things.” Again, that somber look that Nagisa hated seeing crossed the brunet’s eyes, which he briefly could make out under the ray of moonlight that was streaming in through the bedroom window. Now concerned, the boy sat up, looking down at Rei.

“What’s the matter, Rei?” he asked, his own worries vanishing for the moment as he worried about the brunet next to him. “You don’t look like you were ‘just thinking’. Did something bad happen today?” Hearing the concern in his voice, Rei quickly spoke up.

“No, nothing of the sort happened today. It is not what you are thinking, Nagisa. There is no need to sit up—please lie down, and I will tell you about it.” As Nagisa reluctantly lay down again, Rei began his story.

“It is just that…today is the day that my parents passed away, ten years ago. That is why…I was just thinking about them while I was at the balcony.” Upon hearing this unexpected information, Nagisa’s burgundy eyes grew wide.

“Your parents…are deceased?” he asked in a soft voice. “But wait—wasn’t our wedding held at your parents’ house?” The blonde frowned slightly as he tried to recall the face of his father’s old friend, who he had assumed was Rei’s father. All he could remember was that the man had goldenrod hair and a booming, cheerful voice. “I was sure that the host there was your father—“

“He is my uncle.” Rei smiled in the dark. “He took me in when I was orphaned. Until I left to work at the palace, I was under his and his wife, my aunt's care—I am extremely indebted to them for their kindness. By now, I consider them as my parents.” His smile saddened slightly. “But my biological parents died when I was fourteen. They were run over during a civilian riot in the district where the nobility live—you must have been quite young when it happened, but you may have heard the news back then as well.”

True to Rei’s words, Nagisa thought that he could recall the event—it had happened back when his own parents had still been alive. Heralds had been running all throughout the streets of the kingdom, shouting news of many deaths in the nobles’ district. His father had come home that day with a piece of parchment clenched tightly in his hand and his jaw set tersely, with a stormy look on his face. He remembered overhearing his mother comforting his father that night, whispering soothing words of consolation as she rubbed circles on his back.

So Rei’s parents had been among some of the less fortunate nobles—the blonde grew somber at the thought. The time had been one of Nagisa’s happiest in his life, before his own parents had passed away barely a year later—it made him feel sad to think that it must have been one of the worst times in Rei’s life. Forgetting his shyness for the moment, the boy found himself reaching out with a hand and gently touching Rei’s cheek in the dark.

“I do remember—I’m sorry to hear about your parents, Rei.” His voice was soft and sincere. He heard Rei draw in his breath slightly—before he felt that familiar calloused hand overlap his own in the dark.

“Do not be. It has been ten years already—I have been sad for enough time.” Something in Nagisa’s heart softened as he heard these words, said in a tone that did not convince him at all.

“There’s no time limit for such sadness.” The blonde’s voice was quiet, but understanding. “And there is no need for one.” He remembered the overwhelming sadness he had felt when his own parents had died—he knew that the sadness had never truly vanished over all these years. But he had had his sisters—and even if they had stopped crying in front of him, they had let him cry for as long as he wanted. It was because they had been there to share his sorrow that he had made it through all those long years. “I would know—my parents also died, the year I turned eight.” At these words, Rei drew in his breath.

“I heard from my uncle. About…about the fire.” His voice was hesitant. “I am sorry…” Upon hearing the apology, Nagisa laughed quietly from beside the brunet.

“Didn't just tell me there’s no need to be sorry?” he teased. “It’s all right. Even though the sadness will always stay, it’ll be one of the ways I can remember them.” His burgundy eyes grew reminiscent as he looked back on his past.

“Did you know, Rei? I always had dreams of traveling the world. And my father the one who gave me those dreams.” He smiled as he began to remembering . “My father used to belong to a family of wealthy merchants once. Before he met my mother, he used to go traveling, selling his merchandise and seeing foreign places outside Iwatobi—before the drought came upon the world.” Sensing that Rei was listening intently, the boy went on.

“When he met my mother, who was a dancer in a caravan, he broke his ties with his family to marry her—and when they returned to Iwatobi, they had to start out with nothing, without a cent to their name. But they always did seem happy—and my father would always tell my sisters and I stories of their travels together. Of all the curious, exotic sights that they saw—ostriches, miles of great stone walls that stretch endlessly, frozen rain and polar bears, whole cities half-submerged in water—“ Nagisa’s eyes sparkled as he recalled his favorite part of his father’s tales. “And the place called an ocean—a never-ending expanse of blue—where creatures called dolphins dive in and out of the water.” He recalled something that his father had always reminded him of. “Did you know, Rei, that my name means ‘beach’ in an ancient language? It’s a word for the golden sand that is the border between land and sea.” Rei smiled as he nodded.

“I did, actually. If I recall correctly, the language was that of a nation called ‘Japan’.” At this revelation, Nagisa’s eyes widened.

“You…you looked up my name?” he asked shyly. As if he had let a secret fall from his lips, the brunet’s breath caught in his throat.

“I-I—well, I just happened to be curious, so—“ Hoping his cheek did not feel hot against Nagisa’s palm, Rei admitted, “I did…find it in one of my old dictionary manuscripts. It…it is beautiful, your name.” Now Nagisa was the one whose cheeks felt hot. Heart thumping in his chest, he stammered out a ‘Thank you’ as he quickly changed the subject.

“Anyhow, my parents were always looking back on their travels together—and when they did, they were always smiling.” The blonde’s eyes took on a fond look as he remembered how happy they had seemed to be with one another. “They loved each other a lot—even when my eldest sister turned fourteen, they wouldn't stop flirting with each other. Even though my sisters protested that it was embarrassing.” He giggled softly. “I always liked seeing them like that, though. I thought that when I grew up, I also wanted to fall in love like that.”

When he felt Rei going very still beside him, Nagisa suddenly wondered if he should not have said these words. But it had already happened—laughing forcedly in an attempt to dispel the awkward silence that had settled over them, the blonde pulled his hand away from Rei’s cheek and nudged him in the arm.

“There’s no need to go silent like that, Rei! It was only a silly dream of mine when I was little,” he said hastily. “And besides, neither of us could help our situation—“

Neither of them had chosen for this marriage to happen. Suddenly, the memory of Rei chatting with the female courtesans emerged again in Nagisa’s mind.

For some reason, he felt terrified to ask the question. Night’s darkness was his only refuge at the moment—but when would he ever have any other refuge to take? Swallowing, the boy opened his mouth once more.

“I’m…curious, Rei. Did you…were you all right with this marriage?” His voice was small, even for the late hour, but lying beside the blonde, Rei heard his words perfectly clearly. “Did you…didn't you have someone else you love? Or maybe, something else that you wanted to do instead?”

He held his breath as he waited for an answer. For a long stretch of silence that felt like eternity, none came.

Just as Nagisa was wondering if Rei had fallen asleep, he heard the brunet reply.

“I…didn’t really.” Nagisa blinked—wondering if he was imagining that Rei’s voice sounded strangely distant. “And it could not be helped—our marriage. To be honest, I cannot say—whether I was ‘all right’ with it or not.”

“…Oh. I see…” When the man finished his answer, Nagisa felt a slightly sinking feeling in his heart—the feeling of disappointment. He had wanted—the blonde blinked. What had he wanted to hear in the first place?

He thought that he had decided the way things were now was enough. They would most likely stay good friends and partners during their marriage, hopefully for the rest of their lives. Wasn’t that the best Nagisa could hope for?

Did he want something different?

For the rest of the night, after the two of them drifted off into silence, the question ate at Nagisa. At some point, the boy had turned his body over to face away from Rei. He was so distracted with his own questions and doubts that he did not notice the absence of steady breathing from next to him.

He did not know that Rei was also having trouble falling asleep. In the dark, the blue-haired man’s eyes held a troubled glow to them as they stared at the wall opposite them.

Their breakfast together the next day was quieter than usual. Nagisa tried to fill the air between them with forced bouts of chatter, which fell short of their purpose as Rei only returned short responses, keeping his eyes on his own plate. He did not catch the way that Nagisa’s face fell repeatedly whenever this occurred. For once, the servants were looking daggers in Rei’s direction—the several weeks Nagisa had lived in the palace had been enough time for the blonde to win their hearts over, and this time they were upset at their older master for seemingly making their younger master upset. Next to them, Nitori looked upon the scene with more neutral eyes, though they were also filled with worry as they flickered back and forth between the two husbands.

When the servant found Nagisa alone in the living room instead of where he usually was in the study, curled up on the couch without the usual sparkle in his miserable burgundy eyes, he set down his basket full of food and supplies on the floor and quietly approached his friend.

“What happened last night, Nagisa-kun?” Nitori asked as he seated himself next to Nagisa. “You and His Honor were both perfectly content before retreating to the bedroom. Did the two of you have an argument?” At his question, Nagisa just shook his head.

“I think…I think I may have asked him something I shouldn’t have.” The blonde’s voice was small, and Nitori could hear a slight tremor at the end of it. “I thought that things would return to normal at breakfast—I tried to lift the mood, but it was no use—“ As a wet sensation pricked at the back of his eyes, the blonde blinked furiously as if to fight it back. “What will I do, Ai-chan? I think I might have made him upset—all throughout the meal, he wouldn’t look at me once—“ Seeing that his friend’s shoulders were hunched, the grey-haired boy wrapped a comforting arm around them.

“Why do you think that? What exactly did you ask him?” Nagisa did not know, but weeks ago, the servant had overheard the boy asking Rei if he had a lover already—wincing mentally at the memory, he fervently hoped that what the blonde had asked the night before had not been something along the lines of that question.

“I…I asked him…if he was all right with this marriage.” As Nitori blinked with surprise, Nagisa continued on in a shaky voice. “I wanted to know whether—whether he had someone else he loved before—or whether he wanted something else for his life—“

As he said these words, Nitori actually did wince a little—although it was leagues better than questioning Rei’s fidelity, the servant was sure that the question had been stumbling on sensitive territory all the same. Sighing inwardly, he gently prompted, “And his answer?”

“…He said that he ‘didn’t really’…but I have no idea what that means, Ai-chan…! His answer was so vague—and after that, he just fell silent—and the next thing I know, he won’t meet my eyes at the table in the morning—“ Nagisa buried his face in his knees. “What if he really is unhappy with this marriage—what if he never speaks to me kindly again? What will I do then?” While seeing his friend so small did make Nitori feel bad, he also felt that something was a little off—soon, his sky-blue eyes sparked as if catching something.

“Nagisa-kun—how did you happen to arrive at that question?” he asked. “What were you discussing before that?” Nagisa looked up, blinking his slightly glistening eyes.

“I—I said that I always wanted to travel the world. And—and fall in love…like how my parents did…” As his voice grew small, the connection clicked in Nitori’s head. The boy carefully asked the next question.

“How did your parents meet, Nagisa-kun?”

“They—they met when my father was traveling. He proposed to my mother—they eloped and ran away to Iwatobi—“

So their marriage wasn’t arranged, Nitori thought in his head. Sighing inwardly, he studied the miserable blonde, a new impatience in his sky blue eyes. For one tempting moment, he considered just spelling out the entire truth for his friend—or perhaps it would be easier to just tell Rei instead. But he knew that he was in no position to do so—so the boy set aside his personal frustration and patted Nagisa’s shoulder.

“Please don’t jump to conclusions, Nagisa-kun. From what I saw, His Honor did not seem mad—a little somber, perhaps, but not angry. I believe he is the type to fall silent when he is pondering over something—so please don’t despair.” As Nagisa propped his chin back on his knees, Nitori continued. “Besides, His Highness’s ball is to be held in three days—this is no time to be mulling over uncertainties. If you want to accompany His Honor to the grand hall, you must reconcile with him soon.” When he heard the news, the blonde blinked.

“There’s going to be a ball? That’s the first time I’m hearing it.” Nitori blinked back at Nagisa.

“Did His Honor not tell you yesterday?” He then remembered what had happened yesterday—and sighed. “Perhaps he just missed the chance to tell you. There is to be a ball held in three days, and as General of the Royal Army, His Honor is required to attend it, of course.” He fingered his cheek thoughtfully. “Now that I think about it, it will be the first public event that you will both attend as a couple…” His face brightened as he turned his eyes towards Nagisa. “Just leave the preparations to us servants! We will ensure that you look amazing before His Honor!” Without really knowing why, the blonde blushed at his comment.

“That’s…that’s all good and well…but how do I make up with Rei?” The blush vanished from Nagisa’s face and was replaced by a look of worry. “I’m not even sure if what we had was a fight…” The grey-haired boy studied Nagisa thoughtfully.

“Perhaps you should call His Honor out to a private place?” he suggested. “To be honest, the rest will be entirely up to you. If it is His Honor, he is sure to come—I’m sure he will gather that you want a serious discussion.” Frowning slightly, the boy tapped his feet. “But where to arrange such a meeting? There are servants around these quarters all the time—“

“…Ah!”

Blinking, Nagisa realized in that moment that he already knew the perfect place.

It was in the middle of his morning duties that a soldier approached Rei and told him he had been summoned by the Sultan. Thanking the man, Rei placed another guard on watch and headed up the stairs, climbing three flights total before he reached the top floor of the palace.

When he had first met Rin, Rei had been seventeen and the sultan had been fourteen. Back then, the sultan had not been the sultan, but the crown prince, who would take over the throne when he turned sixteen two years later. Now, the red-haired man was twenty-one, and the five years that he had ruled had earned him the respect and admiration of his people. The sultan had a fiery personality, but he also had a strong sense of justice and, despite all his complaints in private, truly cared about his subjects. Of course, there was still a huge gulf between the rich and the poor—the gap could not be bridged overnight, as much as some wishful men hoped. But still, there had been marked progress—under Rin’s rule, water and resources were rationed out proportionally and in order of those who needed them most, and he had successfully passed reforms to the laws that had previously favored the nobility, increasing their taxes and making sure that the revenue went to the poor.

While both acts made the sultan fall out of favor with the nobility, they earned him staunch admiration from the greater portion of his people—and they had earned Rei’s respect as well. Even before Rin had risen to the throne, he had had the brunet’s respect—although their personalities initially clashed somewhat, they had eventually formed a friendship that strengthened over the years.

But that was a tale for another time—and as the twenty-four-year-old guard climbed the last flight of stairs, he wondered what the sultan had summoned him for. Approaching the hall where Rin held his audiences, Rei lifted his hand and knocked on the tall ivory doors.

“Your Majesty, it is I, Rei!” he called. “I request your permission to enter!”

“Granted!” As the sultan’s voice boomed from inside the room, Rei pushed open the tall doors and stepped into the audience hall—a vast room with a high ceiling, exquisite tiles, rich tapestries and mosaics, and a grand marble arcade that opened up to the balconies and sky gardens of the palace. Rei’s eyes traveled towards the far end of the room, up the flight of stairs towards the platform that held a tall gold throne cushioned with red velvet and embedded with rubies. On the throne sat a man in his early twenties with wine-red hair and scarlet eyes, who was looking half bored and half thoughtful with his chin resting on one palm. When he saw Rei in the room, the man’s eyes lit up and he grinned, revealing a row of sharp teeth that reminded Rei of the fabled sharks that were illustrated in his old biology books.

“Finally, you arrive! I was starting to think you’d dried up of thirst, Glasses!” Knowing that they were alone in the room, Rei openly rolled his eyes at the sultan.

“Please do not exaggerate, Your Majesty. You would do best to recall that your audience hall is on the top floor of the palace—even a member of the royal guard takes time to climb three flights of stairs.” Hearing this retort, the sultan laughed.

“You’ve grown a little flabby, haven’t you, Rei?” The redhead smirked down at the guard. “In the olden days, when you were summoned, you used to run up those stairs and reach the hall much faster. Maybe it’s time that I lit a fire under your ass again!” As the sultan laughed again, Rei sighed in resignation.

“From your demeanor, it seems that it was not for an emergency that I was summoned here. But if it makes you content, I may consider running from now on.” He was not General of the Royal Army for nothing—the years he had spent training his physique had made it so that he could run up all fifteen flights of stairs in the palace without breaking sweat. The only reason he didn’t was because he thought that running up the stairs was not very becoming—in fact, he preferred to keep the running inside the palace to a minimum, since the action conflicted with his ideals of etiquette and social grace.

“Now, now, now, why so serious?” the sultan drawled in an amused voice. “I thought that tying the knot would loosen up a man like you, and from the way you’ve been floating around the palace with that gross smile on your face, I thought that my prediction came true. But what’s this? You don’t look all that up in the clouds anymore—“ His lips smirked. “Is your other half refusing you in bed?” At this question, Rei’s face promptly reddened.

“Th-that is none of your business, sire! And please refrain from making such crude comments!”

“Right, right—His Majesty apologizes!” Clapping his hands together, Rin stood up from the throne. “I suppose since you’re an old fart and you don’t feel up to climbing these stairs, I should join you at the bottom.” In a series of breezy leaps, the sultan landed at the foot of the stairs before Rei, with the cocky grin still intact on his face. “How’s that for speed, old man?” The brunet huffed in response.

“I am only three years older than you, Your Highness—calling me as such only demotes your own worth. If there was anything degrading about aging in the first place—which there isn’t, sire. From my perspective, it only adds to your wisdom and experience as your years increase—”

“So that’s why you went ahead and married a kid a decade younger?” Rin guffawed at the stricken look that crossed Rei’s face. “I see that age has upped the level of your perversion as well—would aging still sound all that grand if he called you an old man?” At these teasing words, Rei’s face promptly turned beet-red once more, the prominent color spreading to his ears.

“Your majesty! We arenot a decade apart—he is seventeen, not fourteen!” the man sputtered. “And his age is most certainly NOT why I—“ His flush darkened as he stopped short of admitting anything vastly—and scarily—important. “A-Anyhow, he has not called me that even once! So please refrain from making such baseless conjectures!” Rolling his eyes for the third time, Rin clicked his tongue dismissively.

“Whatever—your responses are always so predictable.” Ignoring Rei’s glare, the redhead moved on to another topic. “Anyways, the reason I summoned you up here was exactly that.” He grinned toothily as Rei’s face changed from one of indignation to confusion.

“…You summoned me up here to talk about aging?” Rin snorted at this response.

“No, Glasses—I’m talking about you and your new wife!” he replied.

“’Husband’, sire.” Brushing aside Rei’s insistent words, Rin went on.

“Husband, whatever. Anyhow, the ball that I’m throwing in three days—that’s a celebration party for you and him.” Noticing the surprised look that traveled over Rei’s face, Rin rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Just because I’m Sultan, like that’s something so damn big, I wasn’t able to attend your wedding—so I’ve been planning to make it up to you somehow.” He grinned. “You and your bride’ll be the center of attention, so enjoy it! Have fun with your stiff self for once—and let that blonde kid loosen you up!”

“…Your majesty…” Rei simultaneously looked touched and uncomfortable at the same time. “I…I am grateful that you would throw a ball in our honor, I really am—but you know how I feel about such public events. And I am not sure if Nagisa would enjoy the attention as well…” When he remembered the conversation he had with the blonde in bed the night before, Rei’s face turned somber once more. Having noticed both Rei’s discomfort and his change in mood, Rin let out a sigh as he clicked his tongue.

“Fine, fine—I won’t announce that it’s in your honor. Just bring the kid and have fun—and I’m not even going to invite any of those high-class snobs that hate your guts. I’ll just invite the snobs that don’t hate your guts. And your uncle and aunt’ll definitely be on the guest list, too.” As Rei heard Rin mention his family, an idea occurred to him.

“Would—would you invite Nagisa’s sisters as well, Your Majesty?” he asked in an earnestly hopeful voice. “He has not seen them since the wedding—if you invited them, he would be able to reunite with them again.” As if Rei was being ridiculous, Rin rolled his eyes in response.

“What are you talking about? Of course the bride’s family’s invited as well!” “’Husband’, sire—“ “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyways, I thought that was a given—I mean, at least ask for things you know aren’t obviously going to be granted! As always, you’re terrible at bargaining!” The redhead then grinned in satisfaction. “But that does mean you’re coming to the ball, doesn’t it? I knew you wouldn’t disappoint, General!” He slapped Rei on the back cheerfully. “And if things aren’t going so peachy with the blonde, then impress his ass off at the ball! If you do it right, he’ll probably warm up to you again in no time—even if you are an old fart!” he added teasingly.

“Your majesty…” Rei sighed out in a voice that indicated he was halfway to giving up. But he smiled sincerely at the redhead. “Thank you—for everything.” He knew the sultan was a good friend—not only had he offered Rei his congratulations, but he had also tried to comfort the brunet and lift his mood. Clicking his tongue, Rin turned his head to one side, his hand mussing up his hair in a gesture that Rei knew only surfaced when the redhead was embarrassed.

“Yeah, yeah—save the thanks for later. Now scram—get back there and light a fire under your men’s asses. Someone’s gotta make them work for me, after all!” Rei laughed slightly.

“If I were to only light fires under them, they would not happily work for you, sire,” he replied. “It is both the carrot and the stick that makes the soldier.” Rin rolled his eyes.

“Maybe, but on some days I’d wager you can ditch the carrot, and the world would become a better place much faster, all right.” He waved Rei off. “Now go! I’ve got thirty minutes to take a nap before my next audience.” He grinned at the older man. “And tell the blonde kid that His Majesty says hi!”

“Yes, your Majesty. I wish you a good day.” Bowing, Rei retreated towards the doors and stepped outside the audience hall.

Traveling down the three flights of stairs, he soon returned to his station. Seeing that the guard on shift had changed, he realized that it was time for his break. Just as he was about to go relax in the courtyard, a familiar voice piped up from behind him.

“Your Honor!” Turning, Rei saw Nitori with a rolled scrap of parchment in his hand. The grey-haired boy smiled at his master as he handed the guard the parchment. “It is from Nagisa-sama!” the servant explained. Rei blinked in surprise.

“…Oh, I see. Thank you, Nitori.” Bowing, the grey-haired boy retreated with a smile, disappearing down the bend in the corridor. Feeling curious and slightly nervous, the guard slowly unrolled the scrap of parchment.

There, unmistakably printed in large, clumsy letters, was Nagisa’s handwriting. The note read,

{Dear Rei, Please come and see me at the secret place during your break. Sincerely, Nagisa.}

Even though the handwriting was messy, he had spelled everything correctly. This detail did not escape Rei’s notice.

Carefully rolling up the note and tucking it under his waistband, Rei immediately turned and made his way down the corridor, wondering why Nagisa wanted to see him at the hidden courtyard.

He was at once relieved and terrified when Rei emerged from the colonnade of the small courtyard with rose-colored tiles and jewel-colored flowers. He grew hesitant when he saw the same emotion in the brunet’s gait, as the older man slowly approached Nagisa. There it was again, the distance—except that at the moment it was written all over his face instead of his voice.

“You…wished to speak to me, Nagisa?” It pained the blonde how far away Rei’s voice sounded—he was positive he never wanted to hear the man’s beautiful voice speak in that tone again.

Perhaps he needed to use a different approach. Perhaps he never really had an approach to begin with. But as much as actions spoke volumes more than words, he was at least sure that words still spoke volumes more than none at all—at least in this situation. Clearing his throat to steady his voice, Nagisa met Rei’s eyes head-on and nodded.

“So, I heard His Highness is to hold a ball in three days.” Seeing Rei blink, as if he had not expected to hear those words from him, the blonde propped his hands on his hips with an energetic determination. “And I’m to join you at that event for the first time. Is that right?”

“—Yes. You are.” The boy didn’t know whether to feel relieved when Rei started looking less distant and more apologetic. “I meant to tell you yesterday—I apologize, I must have forgotten—“ At this response, Nagisa tutted.

“No, no, that’s not the point, Rei! There’s no need for apologies—moving on!” He smiled at Rei as he continued. “Now, at this ball, this very public event, where you will no doubt attract great amounts of attention because of your position in the royal guard—what will you absolutely have to do?”

“—I…would have to introduce myself? To the guests?” Rei asked in a confused voice.

“That’s right—you will have to dance!” Nagisa answered, ignoring Rei’s actual response. “And as I recall, you said you aren’t very skilled at dancing. So I propose a solution!” He clapped his hands together loudly. “I‘ll teach you how to dance after your hours of duties—and you’ll impress all those fancy-pants courtesans at the ball! And you can have fun dancing with me!” Smiling, he extended a hand out towards a startled Rei. “What do you say to that, Rei?”

“—I—“ As Rei faltered, it took great willpower for the blonde to maintain the smile on his face. “It, it’s not that I do not want to, Nagisa—but…” As a somber look crossed the man’s face, the smile did fade from Nagisa’s lips.

Courage, courage! Chiding himself in his head, he stepped forward, just enough so that his fingertips touched the back of Rei’s hands. As the man looked startled from the cool touch, Nagisa spoke.

“The ball’s in three days, Rei. And it’s my first time attending such a splendid event. So…I'd rather that we go together smiling.” The blonde looked up at Rei with a slightly sad smile. “If…if I’ve fallen out of your favor, I wish that I could regain it in that time. Is…is that not possible?” As if he had been struck by lightning, Rei gave a start as he drew himself up quickly.

“That is not true at all!” he exclaimed in utter surprise. “What in the world made you think that you had fallen out of my favor? That cannot be further from the truth! It is I who thought—” As if catching himself, he quickly stopped in midsentence, surprising and puzzling Nagisa.

“…But you refused to meet my eyes at breakfast—and you wouldn’t give anything but short replies to my words,” the blonde said, his brow furrowing slightly in confusion. “I was sure that it was because of something I’d done…that you were upset with me.”

“I—I was not—“ Rei sputtered, his ears starting to color red. “I did not mean to give such an impression…! I—“ He stopped short when he felt those cool fingers wrap around his wrist.

“You say that you aren’t angry at me.” Nagisa’s voice was quiet. “If that is true…then please smile. I don’t like seeing you so distant, Rei. It makes me feel lonely.” He looked down at his feet with a flush in his cheeks, his heart pounding in his chest. “Just…keep being yourself—please…?” When he was met with a period of drawn-out silence, Nagisa began to fear that he had said something wrong once again.

But in the following moment, it was the blonde’s turn to be startled—when the brunet gently pulled his wrist out of Nagisa’s hold and took that cool hand in his own calloused one. Eyes widening, the blonde looked up at Rei, who had a soft smile on his face as he regarded the boy.

“Only if you will do the same, Nagisa.” His violet eyes flickered with that one emotion again, as they took in the boy before him. “I’m sorry for making you misunderstand—you won’t have to walk on eggshells around me either, ever again. I promise.” Upon hearing this response, Nagisa’s entire frame bounced up slowly, his golden locks lifting in the air with the movement as a bright smile lit up his face and his burgundy eyes.

“Of course!” he replied happily. “Rei!” The whole time, he made no move to dislodge his hand from Rei’s—the cool fingers unconsciously grabbing on more tightly.

Chapter Text

“One, two, three—step, two, two, three, step—“

“One, two, thre—ah! Did I step on your foot? I’m so sorry!”

“No, that was a pebble, Rei—relax, relax!”

The first time Nagisa had been taught how to dance with a partner was when he was five years old. His mother had taught him and his sisters in the yard of their small home, and he had paired up with his mother and each of his sisters to learn how. She had told them they would need to know for the future, when they would attend formal events and parties as grown-ups. But after his parents died and he and his sisters were cast into the slums, Nagisa had doubted that such a fancy occasion would ever come in his life.

And yet, here he was now, within the grounds of the very palace he had never dreamed of entering, teaching the general of the Royal Army how to dance. During Rei’s breaks in-between duties, they practiced in the open courtyard. Some of Rei’s servants knew how to play instruments, and they had enthusiastically offered to provide the music, tapping the drums and strumming the stringed instruments in the background as the awkward pair made headway during their practice sessions. It was a good thing that Nagisa’s body remembered the steps he had learned twelve years ago—a good thing that they came to him naturally with just a little practice.

In comparison, Rei lacked experience—Nagisa even heard from the servants that he had often declined offers to dance at balls before because of his ‘lack of finesse with the sport’, as the brunet called it. And Rei was initially very embarrassed about it—his ears and face were a constant red throughout their practice sessions, and every time he missed the beat and trod on Nagisa’s foot or caught his heel on a stone and staggered in mid-dance, the man either began to apologize profusely or sank to his knees on the ground in despair, or both. Although Rei lamented that his mistakes were ‘absolutely not beautiful’, Nagisa found them quite adorable—it was different from the elegant, precise finesse he showed with the sword or the rifle as a soldier, but all the same this side of him was endearing to the blonde. And despite all the bouts of despair, each time that Nagisa extended a hand towards Rei, coaxing him into reviving his efforts, the brunet stood up with a new determination in his violet eyes and asked the boy to continue teaching him.

Once, Nagisa had heard his sisters say that one of the quickest ways to become closer to someone was through taking part in a physical activity together. Naturally, dancing had first come to his mind—it was his specialty, had been his whole life, and the King’s ball was coming up—all the conditions had been optimal for the choice. But all the same—although he was glad that they had made up, Nagisa soon began panicking about what he signed himself up for.

Teaching Rei how to dance for the ball meant that they would need to practice dancing together—as a couple. And while Nagisa had taught some of the children he had known in his neighborhood how to dance—well, that had been leagues different from his current experience with teaching Rei. It was not because of any differences in skill between the two different pupil groups, because for all his talk of dance theories that he had found time to read in advance, the older man was quite stiff and clumsy when it came to actually going through the moves. Rather, it seemed that the children in Nagisa’s neighborhood had learned faster than Rei was learning now. But those children had been taught how to dance individually—and what Nagisa was teaching Rei was how to dance with another person. Namely, himself.

Frankly, all the physical contact was threatening to make his heart burst. But strangely enough, it was not a bad feeling at all—having Rei’s awkward hands brush against his waist, his shoulders and arms, and his own hands, their bodies brushing together as they danced. It made shivers and flutters run down his spine, caused his cheeks to flush, his skin to feel warm, and his heart to pound. But none of it was unpleasant—not at all.

It made him feel rather happy. Although Nagisa still could not fathom why.

…

On the night before the ball, because they had not had enough practice time during the day, the two husbands practiced dancing in the bedroom before retiring to sleep. By then, Nagisa felt that Rei had improved a reasonable amount—despite his initial clumsiness, the brunet did indeed have the good memory he prided in, and it was only a matter of time and practice before he could move more smoothly than before.

Despite this marked improvement, however, Rei did trip during one of the steps, falling against Nagisa and inadvertently making his back land on the bed behind them. At first, Nagisa began to giggle from the unexpected mistake and Rei’s face, which looked positively aghast at the small mishap. Soon after, the brunet had also joined him in his laughter, the two of them filling the room with the pleasant sound. But once both of them calmed down and realized the position they were in, the atmosphere quickly got awkward—in a heartbeat, Rei shot up and away from his husband while apologizing furiously, and the blonde’s face quickly flushed as well. Along with the embarrassment, something uncannily like disappointment welled up in Nagisa’s heart—even as it disappeared, it left him blinking in puzzlement.

Needless to say, they were quiet in bed that night—both hyper-aware of each other’s presence, while anticipating the ball that was to come the next evening.

“Finally, it is done, Nagisa-kun!” In the midst of the changing room, the boy let out a sigh of relief as he moved around in his new attire for the royal ball.

“Do…do I look all right…?” he asked uncertainly, feeling the unfamiliar fabrics swish against his body. The sound of jingling jewelry tinkled from his movements, the pure metals catching and releasing the candlelight in the room. In front of him, Nitori nodded cheerfully in response.

“You look amazing!” the grey-haired boy chirped. “It will definitely please His Honor!” At the last comment, Nagisa’s cheeks flushed pink, and he knit his hands together before his waist in nervousness. Before the other servants had left the room after leaving the finishing touches to Nitori, they had also exclaimed that he looked ‘stunning’ and ‘charming’ and ‘just like a desert flower’—but he had yet to see his reflection in any mirror, so he himself could not tell how he appeared at the moment. It was not as if he had never been dressed up for fancy occasions before—there had been his own wedding, for one thing—but it was the first time that Nagisa felt so self-conscious about it. As if sensing his friend’s uncertainty, Nitori smiled and gave his friend a reassuring pat on the back.

“Let’s go out to the hall,” he said. “His Honor awaits you!”

…

Rei stood against the wall just outside his quarters, leaning against the space next to a column as his fingers fidgeted nervously against his folded arms. Having finished dressing for the ball earlier, he had been waiting for about ten minutes for Nagisa to finish his preparations. As the door of his quarters clicked open, the brunet jumped slightly, his head swiveling in the direction of the sound.

“Excuse us for making you wait, Your Honor!” he heard Nitori’s voice chirp. “Here is Nagisa-sama!” As Rei’s eyes took in the blonde behind the servant, they widened in awe before being arrested by a captivated glow. Seeing that Nagisa still had his eyes on the floor, with his feet fidgeting nervously and his cheeks glowing under the man’s stare, the grey-haired servant chuckled to himself as he bowed towards Rei. “I shall excuse myself, Your Honor. I wish you both the best of enjoyment!” With that he retreated, leaving the couple by themselves in the hall.

It was Rei who broke the silence first.

“You, er…” The blue-haired man coughed as he cleared his throat, cheeks slightly flushed. As Nagisa looked up hesitantly, Rei smiled softly at him.

“You look lovely.” At this compliment, Nagisa’s face blushed even brighter as he quickly dropped his eyes back to the floor, heart tapping out a quick rhythm in his chest.

“Th-thank you.” Trying to steady his heartbeat, the blonde looked up again at Rei, taking in his husband’s own handsomely-dressed figure. “You look nice, too.” He returned the smile shyly, this time causing Rei to avert his eyes in embarrassment.

“A-Ahem. Let’s go then—shall we?” He held out an arm to Nagisa, who took it with only a moment’s nervous hesitation. The two of them proceeded down the hall towards the marble staircase that would take them to the top floor in the palace.

…

In honor of the ball, the Sultan’s grand audience hall had been decorated splendidly to fit the occasion. Although Sultan Rin usually kept the area free of them, now there were exquisite vases full of exotic plants and ivory sculptures lining the arcade, glowing in splendor under the golden light of the hall’s many torches. Instead of the usual ones, there were new brilliantly-colored tapestries hanging on the mosaic walls and the white marble columns, and a bountiful number of savory-looking dishes seemed to overflow on the tables, where the guests dined and made conversation with each other. In one corner of the hall, the court’s musicians had already started to play a festive tune, their stringed instruments and flutes and drums creating a lively harmony of sounds.

It was to this marvelous scene behind the tall ivory doors that Nagisa and Rei entered. As the doors opened and their arrival was announced, Nagisa’s burgundy eyes sparkled as they took in all the beauty and splendor of the audience hall. Next to him, Rei smiled at his husband’s childlike amazement, his violet eyes softening at the edges.

With their arrival the guests in the hall grew quiet, as all eyes turned towards the couple. Realizing that all the attention had shifted towards them, Nagisa blinked, suddenly feeling nervous. There were so many people present in the hall, and although he had performed at parties held by the nobility before, none of them rivaled the Sultan’s ball in the scale and number of guests. It was a royal ball, he suddenly realized—with not only all the courtesans of the palace present, but also the Sultan himself. What if he made a mistake and shamed Rei’s reputation? Suddenly, Nagisa wished he could remember all the lectures his sisters had given him on proper etiquette for situations like these.

Just as he was thinking this, a warm hand landed on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Startled, the boy looked up at Rei, who smiled at him comfortingly.

“It is only a party,” he said in an undertone so that only Nagisa could hear. “Please relax and enjoy yourself.” And maybe Rei had only said that to reassure him—but somehow, all of the blonde’s worries disappeared in that moment. Smiling back at Rei, Nagisa gave the brunet a small nod.

“I will!” They then linked arms once more and proceeded towards the grand platform, where the Sultan and his sister, the royal princess, sat on their thrones. As they stepped through the hall, the guests bowed towards them with respect, and again Nagisa was reminded of how high Rei’s position in the palace ranked. And yet, there was no trace of haughtiness or snobby pride in the man’s face—nor in his character, Nagisa knew. Yet again, the blonde silently marveled at the fact—but before he could continue doing so, they were at the foot of the stairs. The boy then turned his focus to not tripping over the vast amount of steps, as he climbed towards the platform with Rei. When they were finally standing before the Sultan, the guard knelt down and bowed his head towards Rin, and Nagisa did the same.

“Good evening, Your Highness,” Rei said solemnly. “Thank you for gracing us with your invitation—“

“Aw, come on. Drop the formalities!” Nagisa blinked as he heard the Sultan’ voice. “Get up, the both of you. What are you getting on your knees for? Tch.” At this, Rei lifted his head to throw the Sultan a look of protest.

“But Your Majesty, this is a formal occasion! And there are eyes watching—“

“Who cares? I don’t need you kneeling at my feet like beggars. Get up!” As Rin barked back, a third voice giggled to his right.

“Don’t mind my brother, General, he is only being shy about receiving respect from an old friend.” As Nagisa also looked up, he saw that the teasing voice had come from the royal princess, who had the same red hair and eyes as the sultan and looked to be around his own age. Noticing that he was looking up, the princess stepped towards him with a friendly smile.

“So you’re the ‘Nagisa’ I have heard so much about. I was looking forward to meeting you! Brother told me you are the same age as me—I hope we can become friends!” She extended a hand for a handshake, which Nagisa took hesitantly. “I am Matsuoka Kou, Rin’s sister—it’s a pleasure to meet you!”

“Oi, Gou—who said you could go around befriending men at your age?” Rin growled. Immediately, Princess Gou turned towards her brother with an annoyed face.

“It’s ‘Kou’, onii-chan! Kou! And I am seventeen already—I’m old enough to befriend who I choose to befriend, regardless their gender! Besides, Nagisa-kun’s already married!”

“Princess Gou—I would have to say I agree with His Majesty,” Rei spoke up in a manner that exuded brotherly protectiveness. “Regardless of age or status, there are many vile men out in the world—not that Nagisa is one of them,” he added, with a slight affectionate glance at his husband before continuing. “But it would be best for you to be careful—“

“Geez, not you too, Rei-kun!” Gou let out an exasperated sigh. “With the two of you being so overprotective, I’ll never make any friends, much less any male friends!” Rolling her eyes, she turned towards Rei with a pointed look. “And it’s ‘Kou’, Rei-kun! ‘Kou’!”

“Yeah, yeah, Gou—anyways, it’s final. I won’t have you befriending any predatory men, with or without muscles!” As Gou pouted, Rin turned his attention back to Nagisa. “But since you’re already married, maybe I’ll think about it—tch.” He smirked at the blonde, who had silently been watching the interaction for a while with surprised eyes. “So you’re Nagisa—I was wondering when I’d get to see what you look like up close.” His red eyes swiveled over to Rei, glinting with mischief. “After all, I’ve only ever heard this bastard here talking about you all the damn time—“

“Your Highness!” Rei promptly cut in, his voice two octaves higher than usual and his face red. “You exaggerate—and there are many ears present, please do refrain from using such inappropriate words!” Next to him, Nagisa blinked curiously at Rei.

“You talked about me, Rei?” he asked, cheeks slightly rosy. He also wondered about Rei’s relationship with the Sultan—he was still using polite speech, but the way he interacted with Rin and Princess Gou seemed to indicate that the three of them shared a special bond. At his question, Rei started to turn even redder while his violet eyes furtively darted everywhere that wasn’t where Nagisa was standing.

“I—I have—“ he stammered. “It was only a few times! Not…not as often as His Majesty suggests…”

“Oh really, now?” Rin drawled. “I’d like to hear how often you think ‘often’ should mean—“ He stopped short when Gou elbowed him in the arm.

“You tease too much, onii-chan—you should just excuse these two to enjoy the ball already!” She threw a wink at the blushing guard. “Go on now—please enjoy yourselves tonight! And it was nice meeting you, Nagisa-kun!” Clicking his tongue again, Rin waved the couple away with one hand.

“Go dance your asses off, then! And if anyone gives you trouble, just give me the signal and I’ll have them kicked out. All right?”

“…Yes, Your Highness.” Sighing, Rei smiled at the royal siblings. “Thank you. And thank you also, Princess Gou.” As if reminded of his situation, Nagisa also quickly opened his mouth.

“Thank you, Your Highness!” he said in an earnest voice. “It is my first time at a ball, and everything looks amazing—so thank you for having me!” Dipping one knee forward, he bowed towards the Sultan and his sister.

“Nagisa…” As Rei murmured his husband’s name, both Rin and Gou smiled.

“Anytime, kid.” “You’re very welcome!” Just as they responded, the music playing in the hall suddenly changed tune. Noticing this, Rei turned to Nagisa.

“Shall we—“ He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the stares of the royal siblings. “Shall we dance?” At this question, a wide smile broke out on the boy’s face.

“Yes!” After paying Rin and Gou their greetings, the couple descended the stairs towards the floor of the audience hall. Next to her brother, Gou let out a chuckle.

“I’ve never seen Rei-kun look like that before,” she said to Rin. “He sure looks happy, doesn’t he?”

“Well, it’s the first time he’s actually asked someone to dance. Let that little fact do the math for you,” Rin replied, smirking. “Let’s see how well he does on the floor.”

When Rei and Nagisa reached the floor, the musicians’ tune changed once more, one with a slower, steady beat. As if sensing their consideration, Rei’s ears flushed slightly as he stepped onto the center of the hall with Nagisa. Giggling, the blonde extended his hand out towards his husband.

“Shall we?” he asked. The brunet stared at Nagisa for a moment before smiling. He took the boy’s hand gently in his own.

“Of course.” And as the music played, they began to dance.

Aligning their palms together, they circled each other in step with the beat. After the fourth round, Rei took Nagisa’s other hand as well and they stepped, forward and back, left and right. Keeping both of the boy’s hands in his, the brunet twirled his husband around so that he was facing his back and his arms were wrapped around Nagisa’s front. Both shivered slightly at the contact before unwrapping themselves in another twirl in the opposite direction. In a smooth movement, Rei released one of Nagisa’s hands to place his own on the boy’s waist, while Nagisa placed his free hand on Rei’s shoulder. Like this they circled around the floor a few times before Rei twirled Nagisa again and dipped the blonde down by the waist.

Despite all their practice, it was not the smoothest or most elegant or skillful dancing. But as the two of them moved together, Nagisa found that he was enjoying himself more and more. A bright smile broke out onto his face as he danced with Rei, and although the brunet himself had looked a little awkward at first, he eventually began to smile throughout the dance.

What was more, Nagisa felt safe in Rei’s arms. Even when the blue-haired man dipped him or lifted him by the waist, he felt as if he had nothing to fear. Somehow, Nagisa knew that even if Rei messed up, the man would never let him drop to the floor. And for once in his life, Rei actually felt comfortable dancing with someone—he knew that Nagisa would guide him through his clumsy steps, would not judge him for his awkward form and movement.

As the tune reached its climax, Nagisa felt playful enough that he did something unplanned. Breaking away from Rei, he unwrapped one of the filmy shawls from around his waist and, grasping both ends in his hands, unfurled it and twirled around. He then began to dance around Rei, at first at an arm’s distance, then drawing closer as the tune progressed. At a point, he danced so close that his body and shawl brushed lightly against Rei’s skin. And perhaps it was his imagination, feeling Rei shiver from the subtle contact—but for some reason, the reaction delighted Nagisa. At one point, he stepped back and tossed his shawl so that it looped around Rei’s waist. Pulling on the cloth, the blonde drew the blushing brunet closer to him until they were about an inch away from making body contact. And then he tugged on one end, unfurling the shawl from the man’s waist, the filmy fabric swishing against Rei’s tan skin. Laughing in a tinkling voice, Nagisa was about to dance away from the older man, feeling shy all of a sudden, when that calloused hand caught his own and pulled him back towards a firm body.

“Not so fast,” Rei’s voice said firmly in the blonde’s ear. A series of flutters ran down Nagisa’s spine as a strong blush hit him. Before he could snap out of his surprise, Rei twirled him around and placed a hand on the boy’s waist, dipping him down again. Reflexively, Nagisa’s arms wrapped around Rei’s neck, which brought the two of them closer together. Now their foreheads were touching—and both of them stopped moving, frozen in the moment, their eyes holding each other’s gaze—Rei’s eyes slightly lidded and Nagisa’s eyes wide with a wavering glow.

And then, the music stopped, and applause sounded from everywhere in the audience hall. As if a spell had been broken, Rei’s eyes snapped wide open. The man immediately released Nagisa and jumped away from him, his face stricken with surprise. Feeling more than a little surprised himself, Nagisa just stood still where he was, his feet planted to the floor, his cheeks starting to flush as his senses returned to him. His burgundy eyes began wandering around the hall randomly as they did, and coincidentally fell on three women with strangely knowing looks in their eyes—

His sisters. They were here. Blinking, Nagisa rubbed his eyes before he took a look at the women again—there was no doubt about it. All three of the Hazuki women stood next to one of the refreshment tables, dressed for the ball, meeting Nagisa’s stare with smiles—and maybe he should have felt angry at them. Maybe he shouldn’t have wanted to see them again. But it had been months, and he had not seen them since his wedding, and—

He had missed them. He had missed them so much. Swiveling around, he turned towards Rei with hopeful eyes.

“Rei—my sisters—they’re here—!” His voice grew emotional as he spoke. “Can I—can I go and—“ Upon seeing Nagisa’s glistening eyes, Rei’s own violet ones softened.

“Of course,” he replied gently. “Go ahead.” At this, Nagisa threw Rei a quick, brilliant smile before turning and rushing towards his sisters. It was only in the middle of his dash that he remembered the setting he was in, and that he should probably not run in front of so many courtesans. So he purposely slowed his step down to a more dignified walk as he continued towards the Hazuki women. And in the middle of approaching them, some of his previous anger started returning to the boy, who eventually stopped before his sisters with a stony look on his face. As if sensing the change in his mood, the eldest Hazuki sister stepped forward, with a placating expression on her face.

“Nagisa—my dear little brother. Have you been well?”

And that was all it took. Hearing his sister’s voice for the first in so long cracked through Nagisa’s stony mask, and he grudgingly opened his mouth to reply.

“I’ve been fine—“ He tried to keep his voice calm, but it wasn’t working so well. “Perfectly…fine…” Suddenly, his eyes started to swell with tears—and noticing this, his eldest sister smiled as she reached over and patted her brother on the head.

“It’s good to see you at last—we’ve really missed you, Nagi-chan.” As she said this, the two younger Hazuki sisters jumped forward from behind their older sister.

“Nagi-chan!” “Thank god you look all right!” On the verge of bawling themselves, the sisters threw themselves at their younger brother and hugged him tightly, while Nagisa blinked back his tears as he finally smiled.

“You’re all idiots…” he sniffed. “If you were going to miss me, why did you send me off to get married? Stupid sisters…” At this, the two younger Hazuki sisters drew themselves up indignantly.

“What did you just say, brat?” “When we came all the way here to see you—show some respect, little boy!” “Excuse me? I’m married now, I’m not a kid anymore!” As her siblings bickered for the first in a long while, the eldest Hazuki sister laughed good-naturedly.

“You don’t seem that opposed to the idea of being married anymore.” At this comment, Nagisa looked up at his sister in surprise. Then, a grudging look took over his face as he opened his mouth.

“Well…I most definitely did not appreciate you marrying me off without my consent—“ he began grudgingly. “…But it’s not like I don’t understand…why you did it. So…I don’t blame you as much…I guess.” ‘We were poor, and we were about to be thrown out of our uncle’s house—it couldn’t be helped.’ All three sisters understood the unspoken implication of his words, and a slightly odd look crossed their faces as they exchanged glances with one another. Not noticing their actions, Nagisa went on speaking.

“And besides…I couldn’t continue to be sullen all the time. He…Rei is kind to me. He has been, from the start—“ And as he said this, Nagisa suddenly remembered—that he had ultimately married Rei for his status. And his money.

That didn’t sit well with him at all. Suddenly, the boy felt a twist of guilt in his stomach. His hands clenched into fists at his sides as he bit his lip.

For the first time, he wondered if he deserved to stay at Rei’s side. And he didn’t think he liked the answer he had for that question.

“I’ll—I’ll definitely find a way to stand on my own someday.” A determined look formed in Nagisa’s eyes. “I’ll become an adult—I’ll pay back everything that I owe him, somehow. So just wait.” Seeing the look in their brother’s eyes, the Hazuki sisters exchanged knowing looks with each other. Then, the eldest sister smiled at him.

“Congratulations, Nagi-chan.” Hearing these unexpected words, Nagisa blinked.

“For what?” he asked. “The wedding was a long time ago.” At this innocent comment, the other two Hazuki sisters giggled.

“Oh, you’ll understand eventually. Maybe soon.” Remembering the look in her brother’s eyes as he had danced with the blue-haired guard, the eldest sister’s eyes sparkled as she patted Nagisa on the shoulder. “Perhaps you should go and greet the other guests with His Honor for now. It seems like he’s already making rounds in the hall.” True to her words, Nagisa turned his head and saw Rei speaking with the guests on the floor, a cordial smile on his face as he addressed each of them.

“Ah, you’re right—I should probably go—“ The blonde turned back to his sisters, eyes flickering.
“You…you guys are going to stay longer, right?” At this question, the second and third Hazuki sisters ruffled his hair and pinched his cheeks affectionately.

“Of course we’re staying longer!” “Yeah, it’s not often that we’re invited for an event inside the palace like this, after all—not to mention the lovely banquet feast!” Upon hearing their teasing voices, Nagisa rolled his eyes at his sisters— in a good-natured way, however, because he knew they were joking,

“On second thought, you should just leave early!” He stuck out his tongue at them. “Don’t hog all the food and embarrass me, okay?”

With that, Nagisa turned and strode through the hall past the numerous guests. He was about to join Rei in greeting the invited when he bumped into one of the guests in the hall.

“My, my, who do we have here?” Upon hearing a familiar sleazy voice, Nagisa froze slightly before quickly backing away on instinct. When he stepped back, his instinct was proven spot-on—the man that stood before him was a fat man in his forties with oily skin and beady eyes that glinted with poorly concealed desire as they skirted Nagisa’s form from head to toe. “I see you’re still looking fine as usual—just like a freshly picked desert flower.”

“…Good evening, sire.” Fighting to keep his tone polite and calm, Nagisa reluctantly responded to the man with a slightly forced smile. “What a coincidence it is, seeing you here.” At this, the man laughed—even his laugh sounded oily, as if there was too much phlegm coating his throat.

“Why, it should not come as such a surprise, my flower. Have you forgotten who you used to serve?” True to his word, the man was a wealthy merchant of high social status who had frequently hired the Hazuki troupe to dance at his parties. Ever since he had first laid eyes on Nagisa, the merchant had persistently tried to cavort with the blonde, cornering him after his dances, showering him with words of praise about his looks and even inviting him to ‘a more private place’, which Nagisa knew were essentially invitations to bed. Thankfully, he had always managed to turn down the merchant’s unwanted advances and make his escape, whether by himself or with the aid of his sisters.

But now, instead of the merchant’s private home, they were at a public event—at a royal ball held within palace grounds, no more or less—and there were many more eyes around the vicinity than before. And evidently, the fact that Nagisa was married now was not enough to deter the merchant from making his advances. Knowing that he had to be careful for several reasons, the boy made sure his smile was still pasted on his face before opening his mouth.

“Why, indeed. Forgive me for my foolishness, sire. I hope you enjoy the rest of the ball tonight—my husband has called for me, so I’m afraid I must leave your company. I wish you the best of festivities.” He was just about to leave when a meaty hand grabbed him by the arm.

“Come now—must you leave so quickly?” Suddenly, the merchant was right behind Nagisa, his sleazy voice whispering in his ear and causing the hairs on his back to rise in displeasure. “Surely, your husband will allow you some time to catch up with an old acquaintance—for old time’s sake?” To his horror, Nagisa felt the motion of the merchant’s other hand reaching for his waist. Squeezing his eyes shut, he was debating whether to wrench out of the man’s grip or aim a kick backwards to his groin—when a third person stopped the merchant’s hand in midair. The next second, Nagisa felt his arm being released from the merchant’s grip and a familiar calloused hand tugging him away by the arm. Suddenly, he was shielded by a tall form as a polite but cold voice with a razor-sharp edge addressed the startled merchant.

“With all due respect, sire.” Rei’s violet eyes were hard and narrow as he faced the man. “I believe you are overstepping boundaries with my husband. Please do not touch him so familiarly.” At the moment, the guard was keeping his voice down, so that the only people who could hear him were the merchant and Nagisa. As Rei’s hand tightened slightly around his wrist, the blonde’s face flushed, the feeling of disgust from the merchant replaced by a series of warm flutters in his stomach. Meanwhile, the merchant’s beady eyes also narrowed as he regarded Rei, his expression darkening as he opened his mouth.

“Is that jealousy I sense from you, General?” the man sneered. “He may have said his vows before you, but his heart belongs to me. You cannot keep him tied to you like a cow, even if you tried!” At this false claim Nagisa’s mouth dropped open in indignation. Stepping forward, he was about to set the merchant straight once and for all when he felt Rei’s hand fall from his wrist and into his own hand, squeezing it gently.

“Although it is a man’s liberty to dream, I recommend that you do not let it cloud your judgment of reality, sire,” Rei said coolly. “Even a fool can see that you are making my husband uncomfortable with your advances.” His eyes turned stony and his voice icy as he said the next words. “And never, never refer to him as livestock, ever again.” His grip on the merchant’s forearm turned vice-like, as if it would break the man’s arm in two. “Do you understand?” Intimidated by both Rei’s frightening glare and his strength, a flash of fear crossed the merchant’s beady eyes. Ripping his arm away from the guard’s grip, the merchant threw Rei one last glare and spat on the floor before turning and storming away. As soon as Nagisa regained his senses, he tugged on Rei’s hand to gain the man’s attention.

“Rei—I’m sorry—“ he began in an apologetic voice, cheeks still flushed. Immediately, Rei turned around fully to face the blonde, his expression softening from the intimidating mask it had been.

“Whatever do you have to be sorry for, Nagisa?” he asked, his voice much gentler than before. “It is not your fault—that man came onto you first.” As he mentioned the merchant, the guard’s eyes momentarily darkened again, causing Nagisa to shiver slightly, but not in an unpleasant way. “In fact, I should be apologizing—I should have been more watchful of your surroundings. I am sorry I intervened late.” At this, Nagisa shook his head with a smile.

“No, you came just in time, Rei.” His smile softened as he looked up at the older man. “Thank you.” Blushing, Rei promptly turned his head in the other direction, straightening his silver spectacles with one hand.

“I-It was nothing worth thanks,” he murmured bashfully. “I—I am only glad that—that you were unhu—“ Before Rei could finish his sentence, however, a loud rumbling sound came from Nagisa’s stomach. Immediately, the blonde’s cheeks turned pink as he let out a laugh.

“Hehe—it must be from all the dancing!” he said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. Both of them then remembered that they had not eaten anything since lunch that noon—and by now, the sky had long been dark outside. Grinning, Nagisa asked, “Will you come and dine with me, Rei? The dishes smell wonderful even from here!”

Smiling down at his husband, Rei was about to respond when he caught sight of a person from across the room. It was Nagisa’s eldest sister—and she lifted a hand casually, in a way that could be interpreted as a stretching motion. But Rei knew better—understanding the signal, he turned back to Nagisa with an apologetic smile.

“Actually, Nagisa, I would like to excuse myself to the washroom for a while. But you seem hungry, so I do not want to keep you waiting—“ As he said this, the man’s violet eyes wandered around the hall until his eyes fixed on two familiar faces.

“Ah, there they are!” Lifting a hand, Rei waved towards Officer Mikoshiba and Nitori, who had been chatting by one of the refreshment tables. “Officer Mikoshiba, Nitori!” When they heard Rei, both his servant and the officer left the table and approached the couple. “Would you do me a favor and accompany Nagisa to the dining table? I shall return quickly after dropping by the washroom.”

“Yes, Your Honor!” “With pleasure, General!” Smiling gratefully, Rei looked towards Nagisa again. “I shall be back soon—please enjoy your meal.” With that, he slipped away, and Nitori placed a hand on Nagisa’s arm. “Let us go, Nagisa-sama—this way!” As the two boys proceeded towards the refreshment table, Officer Mikoshiba followed behind them—stopping once to suddenly turn and shoot an intimidating smile at the sleazy merchant, who had been lurking behind one of the nearby pillars. As the merchant quailed and immediately retreated elsewhere, the orange-haired captain sighed, the smile on his face sympathetic.

“Although the general is lucky, it must also be hard, having such an attractive husband,” he murmured. Knowing that was why Rei had called him over, Officer Mikoshiba turned and quickly trailed after Nitori and Nagisa once more, joining in on the two boys’ conversation about the food available at the ball.

…

It was in an obscure corner of the audience hall where he was sure that Nagisa would not notice them that Rei met with the eldest Hazuki sister. Bowing his head in respect, Rei greeted the woman politely.

“Good evening, Hazuki-san. I hope you and your sisters have been faring well these past months.” In response, Nagisa’s sister also bowed, dipping one knee down in a curtsy.

“Thank you, Your Honor. We have been faring just fine—thanks to the help of your uncle.” Looking up, the Hazuki sister continued. “We spoke to our brother just some minutes ago—and it relieves us to see that he seems well.” At the mention of Nagisa, Rei’s smile softened.

“At first, I was afraid that he would never…grow used to his new situation,” he admitted. “But…although I doubt that any place can substitute for his true home—he seems more at ease than before. And I am glad for that.” As he said this, Nagisa’s sister studied Rei with keen burgundy eyes before opening her mouth.

“We saw what you did for Nagisa. With that disgraceful excuse of a human being some call a merchant—had our father been alive, he would have been extremely disgusted.” Remembering that Nagisa had mentioned how his father used to be a merchant, Rei silently understood and continued to listen. “Thank you for protecting him. As a matter of fact, you have much gratitude from all three of us.” Immediately, the guard lifted his hands up in protest as he shook his head in modest embarrassment.

“It is not something deserving of your thanks, Hazuki-san. It was only natural for me to do so—in fact, I am ashamed that I let the man put his hand on him.” For the second time that day, his eyes briefly turned stormy before clearing up again in the face of his husband’s sister. “I truly apologize for my carelessness.” Shaking her head, Nagisa’s sister chuckled.

“You are humble to a fault, Your Honor. It never ceases to surprise me that men like you exist.” The Hazuki sister smiled in a way that reminded Rei of Nagisa’s smiles. “I have always taken pride in my good judgment of people. Once again, I see my eye for personalities has not failed me.” Hearing the praise, Rei flushed as he readjusted his glasses in embarrassment.

“You—you praise me too much, Hazuki-san.” Again, the eldest sister studied Rei silently.

“…May I ask you something, Rei-san?” she said solemnly. “What are your intentions towards our brother?” At this question, Rei’s eyes widened. At his side, one of his hands slowly began to curl into a fist.

“They have not changed from the beginning, Hazuki-san.” Facing the burgundy-eyed woman, the brunet forced himself to smile. “I hope that he will be happy. That is all that I wish for.” For a while, a silence settled between the two adults as Rei’s words hung in the air.

“…I apologize,” Nagisa’s sister finally murmured. “My sisters and I—we were so set on saving our brother, that we did not consider your feelings. Nor his, for that matter—“ Her eyes dropped to her hands, which were knit in the shawl tied around her waist. “Had there been any other way that we could have let him meet you, we—“

“It is fine.” The smile stayed on Rei’s face. “Had he still—disliked me, it would have been fine as well. As long as he was safe—it would not have mattered.” At this, something in the Hazuki sister’s eyes softened.

“He takes to you well, Rei-san. My sisters and I, all of us can see it.” She thought of her brother’s smiles that she had seen that night. “You have a greater chance than you think you do. We—“

“He wished to fall in love of his own will, Hazuki-san.” Rei’s voice was quiet. “I cannot give him what he desires. There is no chance anymore. And I am fine with that.” For another long moment, the Hazuki sister stared at Rei. Then, she let out a sigh.

“I will not argue with you, Your Honor. You have done too much for us—it would be insolent of me.” She paused. “But please…keep your eyes open. And look.” With that, she bowed her head towards Rei. “I shall not keep you any longer, Your Grace. I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.” Turning, she retreated to the hall floor, disappearing into the crowds of guests. It was only when she disappeared that Rei’s shoulders slumped against the nearby column. Sighing, he leaned back on the marble and tilted his head up, taking off his glasses and putting the back of his hand over his eyes.

“I could not even greet her back…” Pushing his hair out of his eyes, he heaved another sigh before placing his spectacles back on his face. With a last straightening of his turban and vest, he emerged from behind the column and made his way across the hall, to where Nagisa was dining with Nitori and Officer Mikoshiba. Upon spotting Rei, Nagisa’s face brightened, and he quickly swallowed the mouthful of food that had made his cheeks bulge out.

“Rei! Finally, you’re back!” He patted the empty seat next to his own with a smile. “Hurry and eat with me! All the food tastes fantastic—Rei?” The boy’s smile faded as he observed Rei’s expression. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“No…nothing happened.” Rei blinked. “What are you speaking of, Nagisa? Anyhow, the food does smell marvelous. I shall also help myself—“ As he murmured his words, the brunet sat down next to a puzzled Nagisa, who was frowning slightly with worry as he looked at Rei from the corner of his eye. As there were no other people sitting around the four of them, Nitori and Officer Mikoshiba exchanged looks before getting up from their seats.

“We will excuse ourselves then, General!” the orange-haired officer said cheerfully. “We’ve had enough to fill ourselves up, have we not, Nitori?”

“Yes, Officer!” Nitori threw a look at Nagisa before smiling. “May the both of you enjoy the rest of the evening!” With that, the two left the table, which was now empty save for Nagisa and Rei. Setting down the dining utensils he had been using, the blonde was still frowning as he stood up from the table.

“Rei. What is bothering you?” he asked, voice concerned. “You’re smiling but—but you aren’t. Did something happen on the way to the washroom?”

“…Nothing happened, Nagisa.” Rei’s voice was calm. “I am just…feeling a little exhausted, that is all. Dining will help fix it—“

“Your face doesn’t look like a hungry man’s, Rei,” Nagisa pressed, the furrow between his eyes deepening. “You hardly look like you’re in the mood to eat. Something did happen, didn’t it?”

“No.” Rei closed his eyes tiredly. “Please do not assume such things about me, Nagisa. I said I am fine—“

“Well, you’re obviously lying!” Nagisa replied, starting to become a little impatient. “This won’t do—come with me to the roof gardens! We can get some fresh air—“ He reached out to grab Rei’s hand—but before he could, the man reflexively pulled it back. Seeing shock spread across the blonde’s face, Rei started—he had not even realized that he moved his hand at all. His face startled, he immediately straightened up in his chair.

“I—I’m sorry, Nagisa—I did not mean to pull away—“ He forced an apologetic smile that made Nagisa feel as if he were miles away. Again, those violet eyes took on a distant look, one that the boy had seen from three days earlier.

For the millionth time, it felt as if Rei was backing away from him. And Nagisa hated it. Feeling as if he would burst from frustration and something else that burned in his chest, he drew himself up to shout at Rei—

“LOOK OUT!!”

Suddenly, Nagisa felt Rei’s strong arms encircling him and turning him away in the opposite direction. In the split second that Nagisa’s eyes widened, he heard the whizzing sounds of some keen objects flying through the air—followed by the sickening sounds of them being stopped by flesh. At that moment, he heard Rei let out a few rough gasps as his arms tightened around Nagisa’s shoulders, burying the blonde’s head deeper in his chest. Then, his arms slowly loosened and he began to droop against the boy, shoulders sagging.

Instinctively, Nagisa reached under Rei’s arms to hold the man up from crumpling to the floor. Just then, the last of the objects whizzed right past Nagisa’s face, one of them grazing his skin slightly. From the stinging sensation on his cheek, the blonde could tell what the objects had been—knives. Freezing in horror, he slowly looked down at Rei—

And saw the knives that had hit Rei’s back. There were several of them—and pools of red had already begun to stain the back of Rei’s vest as well as his skin. All the blood drained from the boy’s face. His body starting to quake violently, Nagisa slowly lifted one trembling hand—

And saw that his palm was stained with blood.

At that moment, his world seemed to spiral to a stop. Even as the guests in the hall began breaking into panicked shouts, he could hear nothing, could only see Rei bleeding before him. Just as his mind threatened to turn white, Rei looked up weakly from his strained state at Nagisa, with blood dripping from his mouth. Immediately, his violet eyes widened and he immediately snapped up, taking the blonde’s face in his hands with a panicked look in his eyes.

“Nagisa! Oh gods, you’re hurt—you’re bleeding, oh god—are you hurt anywhere else?!” Hurriedly, Rei began turning Nagisa around, lifting the blonde’s face and arms for further inspection. “Oh gods, oh no—I am so sorry, I could not keep you from getting hurt—and it’s your lovely face, oh gods—does it hurt?! We must get you treatment, immediately—! I cannot believe I let such a terrible thing happe—“

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!!” The blonde’s sudden screaming filled the air, startling Rei.

“WHY ARE YOU WORRRYING ABOUT ME?!! DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF RIGHT NOW?!!” His voice was full of hysteria and panic as he shouted at the brunet, his chest heaving violently. “WHY AREN’T YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOURSELF?!! YOU HAVE KNIVES IN YOUR BACK, REI, KNIVES!!! YOU ARE BLEEDING, YOU COULD HAVE DIED, WHY, WHY DID YOU DO SOMETHING SO STUPID, WHY, WHY, WHY—”

He couldn’t stop himself from shouting. Rei was hurt, he had been stabbed by knives and they were making his back bleed and Nagisa couldn’t think straight, the rims of his eyes were reddening and his heart was thudding with terror, terror that he could have lost Rei for good, could lose him for good soon if something wasn’t done, and—

And then, it finally hit him. The realization came to Nagisa during what felt like one of the worst moments of his life. He could not lose Rei, could not lose this kind, gentle, beautiful, clever, funny, dorky, wonderful man—he could not bear it, would not be able to bear it if he left him, just like his parents had left for heaven without him—he felt as if his heart would be torn in two and ripped out of his body—

Because he was in love. He was in love with Rei. He had fallen before he had even realized it. And now, Nagisa prayed with what little there was left of his sanity, prayed hard to God that he had not realized it too late. Forcing himself to gather his wits, he shouted across the hall at the startled guests.

“MY HUSBAND IS WOUNDED!!! IS THERE NO ONE THAT CAN HELP?!! PLEASE!!!” His voice carried itself across the room and towards the platform, where a frozen Rin finally snapped out of his state of shock. With a commanding voice, he bellowed,

“Bring the medics in!!” At his call, all the servants in the hall dispersed to fetch the castle’s medics. “And find the rat bastard who dared to try and knife my guard!! NOW!!!!” At his order, Mikoshiba immediately straightened up and banged his spear on the ground.

“Those on the right side of the hall, go after the intruder!! Those on the left, stay behind and guard the guests!!” “Sir, yes, sir!!” With a rallying shout, the royal guards hurried to follow their orders. Not waiting for the medics to arrive, Nagisa immediately tore his clothes into strips, pressing as many as he could to Rei’s wounds, struggling to stall the blood from flowing as much as possible, his voice babbling almost incoherently as he strived to hold Rei’s growing-faint attention.

“Oh Rei, Rei, please, please—don’t close your eyes, not now—hold on, just a little bit longer, hold on now—the medics are coming—oh please, Rei, please, please, please—!” He did not even realize that there were tears streaming down his cheeks until Rei weakly reached up to wipe them with his thumb, a faint smile on his face.

“It…s all right….it will be all right…Nagisa…” As the doors banged open and the medics flooded in, the brunet’s eyelids began to flutter. “Do not….cry…”

The last thing Rei remembered before losing his consciousness was Nagisa’s warm hand overlapping his own, and the boy’s panicked voice shouting his name.

Chapter Text

When his eyes fluttered open, he saw a white ceiling, and he realized that he was lying on a mattress. The smell of herbs and salves drifted into Rei’s nose, as the man groggily tried to sit up. The stabs of pain that the movement sent down his back stopped him, and the brunet jerked back down on the mattress, wincing. As his eyes came to clear focus, he realized that he was lying in a ward of the palace’s private hospital. Just as he did, he felt a weight shifting from beside him on the bed.

He looked in the direction of the movement and saw a crop of disheveled blonde hair with a familiar pale green veil draped over it, the head nestled in folded arms, heard the sound of soft breathing. Realizing that it was Nagisa, and that the boy was sleeping as he knelt beside his bed, Rei blinked his violet eyes a few times. He then remembered what had happened, and he sat up again, this time gingerly so as to not strain his back wounds.

Carefully reaching out with his right arm, he began to stroke Nagisa’s hair gently with his hand, his violet eyes far away and lost in thought. In his sleep, the blonde shifted his head slightly so that his face was visible to Rei, and continued to sleep as he softly breathed in and out. Rei then could see that there were dark bags under the boy’s eyes, and his skin looked pale under his disheveled locks. Biting his lip, the guard began to wonder if he had been the cause of such a condition—when he heard the door of the ward open and someone’s footsteps coming in.

It was Nitori, with a basket of fresh towels and garments in his arms. When he saw that Rei was awake, his sky blue eyes shone in relief as he approached the bed.

“Your Honor, you are awake at last!” Setting down the basket next to the bed, Nitori looked down at Rei. “We have all been worried about your condition—thank goodness that your wounds were not fatal!”

“…Thank you, Nitori.” Rei smiled apologetically at his servant. “I must have troubled many people—I apologize for the commotion.” At this, Nitori shook his head.

“No man blames you at all, Your Honor— it is no trouble to us servants or the medics. We are simply relieved that your recovery is possible.” His eyes darkened as he said the next words. “Officer Mikoshiba and the royal guards have tracked down the man responsible—he was an assassin, sent by one of the nobility to randomly target guests at His Highness’s ball. They are still working to identify the employer, but at the moment the scoundrel is behind bars.” At this, Rei’s brow knit into a frown.

“That is just…” His eyes clouded with guilt. “That was entirely my fault—I did not notice his presence at all. Although I am in command of His Highness’ guard—“ His hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I am a disgrace—it is only fortunate that none of the others were harmed—“ His eyes traveled to Nagisa’s face, where the slight sliver of a cut from one of the assassin’s knives was visible, and they darkened visibly. “No—Nagisa was also harmed. If only I could have stopped that last knife—“At this remark, Nitori’s expression grew somber.

“Please do not say such a thing in front of Nagisa-sama, Your Honor.” His voice was quiet but solemn. “It has been three days since you have lost consciousness, and he has been tending to you without much food or sleep all the while. Even though we servants and the medics said we would tend to him, he would not leave your side—he was very worried about you.” As Rei’s eyes widened, he suddenly remembered how Nagisa had been shouting hysterically at him before he lost his consciousness at the ball. From next to Rei, Nitori sighed slightly and continued. “He already seems to think it is his fault that you took the knives in his stead—so when he awakes, please reassure him that that is not true.” Just as the grey-haired servant said this, the blonde began to stir in his position, his arms shuffling on the bed as his head began to lift.

“And there he awakes—“ Grinning encouragingly at Rei, Nitori turned towards the door to leave the ward. “Good luck, Your Honor!” As Rei flushed slightly, the servant closed the door behind them. And then, the man heard a voice to his right.

“Mm…have I fallen asleep…?” Rei’s attention returned to Nagisa, who was still kneeling at the foot of the bed and rubbing his eyes. “I…yawn…better go and get fresh bandages…” Taking his hands away from his eyes, Nagisa finally looked up towards the bed—

And when he saw that Rei was awake, his sleepy eyes snapped wide open.

“Rei!!” Jumping up onto his feet, the blonde slammed his palms down on the mattress with surprise. “You’re awake!! But when did you—!”

“I actually awoke just a few minutes ago,” Rei replied, smiling apologetically at Nagisa. “I heard that you tended to me for these past three days. I’m sorry for worrying y—oof!!” The man gasped when fifty-five kilograms of blonde boy barreled into him, knocking his back down onto the bed. Flushing and wincing at the pressure to his wounds, Rei tried to draw himself up to protest—when he felt Nagisa’s arms wind tightly around his waist as he buried his head in the brunet’s bandaged chest.

“Rei—Rei—you’re awake!” Rei’s startled eyes swiveled down to Nagisa, whose shoulders were shaking as he clung to the blue-haired man. “You’re awake—you’re fine—I’m so glad…!”

“…Nagisa…” Feeling a little overwhelmed and touched, Rei looked at Nagisa with soft eyes as he lay a gentle hand on the blonde’s back. “Thank you...your concern makes me very happy…” He winced slightly as his back brushed against the mattress due to Nagisa’s weight. “...But if you could let me lie down, I would appreciate it…” As if on a magic spell, the boy jumped away from him so quickly that Rei thought he had vanished and reappeared at a distance from thin air. Hands fidgeting and face blushing madly, Nagisa squeaked out a response, his eyes darting everywhere in the room except Rei.

“S-sorry!!” The boy’s hands knit together and pulled apart as he laughed awkwardly. “I must’ve been straining the wounds on your back—it was thoughtless of me, ahaha!” Blinking, Rei shook his head with a slightly puzzled look on his face at the blonde’s sudden change in demeanor.

“It’s fine. I have rested well for three days—the wounds should heal well enough from here forth.” He examined the bandages wrapped around his torso with a smile on his face. “They are well-wrapped, these bandages—I feel no strain on my wounds from them, nor are they too loose. As always, His Highness’s medics are skilled—“ He looked up to see that Nagisa was pointedly looking away from Rei, his cheeks turning scarlet as he looked at the floor, his hands bunched up in the shawl around his waist.

“That, actually…I, I wrapped them…” As Nagisa’s small voice drifted off, it took Rei a few seconds to comprehend what he had said. “I…I learned from the medics…they taught me how…I mean, I know I’m not as skilled as they are…but…”

“…Oh.” Mouth dropping open slightly, Rei blushed as well—finding at the same time that he could not help but feel happy. “I…well…I suppose I should be thanking you instead, then.” In the same way that he had smiled in the study before Nagisa for the first time, the older man gave him a quietly radiant smile. “Thank you, Nagisa.” He could see the blonde’s mouth dropping open in surprise—then gaping open and closed soundlessly. A brilliant flush traveled across the boy’s body as he stammered out a reply.

“Y-you’re welcome!” Now that Nagisa knew he was in love with Rei, all of the brunet’s actions had ten times their original impact on him. All of a sudden, he felt like a baby fawn stumbling into unfamiliar territory—in all seventeen years of his life, he had never before felt this way until now. Starting to think Rei’s smile would be the death of him, Nagisa shuffled his feet restlessly as he tried to channel all his nervous energy into them, hoping Rei would not notice that he was acting strange. Just when he was getting lost in his own thoughts, Rei’s quiet, solemn voice cut through them like a knife, causing him to immediately turn his head around.

“Your cheek…does it still hurt?” His words were soft, his tone slightly somber. Quickly and firmly, Nagisa shook his head.

“Not at all. It’s only a scratch—it’ll vanish in no time!” He bit his lip. “But your wounds…they’ll leave scars…” Hesitantly, he continued.

“I’m…I’m sorry, Rei—I was so busy getting angry at you, and you…you shielded me from those knives…” Nagisa’s voice began to tremble slightly as his grip on his shawl tightened. “And I could only shout at you after you got hurt…” ‘You must not see me favorably anymore.’ A pang went through his chest, and he found that he could not bring himself to utter these words out loud. As he stood there with his voice stuck in his throat, Rei’s voice spoke softly from behind him.

“I’m glad that you’re safe.” Eyes widening, the boy looked up to see Rei smiling that gentle smile at him once more. “You were only getting angry on my behalf, and that makes me happy. And I am fine. To a guard, his scars are his honor. I’m glad that I was able to protect you—so please don’t look so somber.” The edges of his eyes softened as he said his next words.

“I would much prefer to see your smile, Nagisa.”

All of a sudden, a strong warmth filled Nagisa’s heart, traveling all throughout his body and almost burning it with its force. A rosy hue spread across his cheeks as well as a glowing smile. His lidded burgundy eyes shone as they looked at Rei, the way that they had looked at the brunet many times before, but was at the same time vastly different.

“Thank you…!” His voice, usually so loud and cheerful, murmured the words with an unadulterated sincerity that made the breath catch in Rei’s throat. “Rei…!”

“…I…” All of a sudden, the brunet’s tongue felt dry as his heartbeat fluttered nervously. “Nagisa—I—!“ But before he could finish his sentence, the sound of the door opening interrupted Rei, followed by the oblivious head medic strolling into the room.

“Good morning, your honor—or should I say ‘afternoon’?” the middle-aged man said cheerfully. “Your servant Nitori told me that you regained consciousness, so I came to check on your wounds—dear heavens, have you caught a fever upon your waking, Sire? Your face resembles a tomato!” At that, Rei choked on his breath and collapsed into a fit of coughing. Concerned, Nagisa immediately walked over to the man and placed a worried hand on his back.

“Are you all right, Rei? Should I get you some water?”

“I’m—cough cough—I’m fine—cough cough!” The flush spread to Rei’s ears as he tried to calm down, trying not to be too conscious of the blonde’s warm palm between his shoulder blades. Cursing himself for his earlier impulse to blurt out his feelings, the man managed to recompose himself, managing a weak smile at the medic. “Thank you for taking care of me these past three days, Doctor. All of you must have gone to a lot of trouble—“ At that, the medic laughed and shook his head good-naturedly.

“Oh, we medics hardly did much—it was your husband who went to the most trouble! Asking us to teach him how to clean wounds and wrap bandages—and he only ever left your side to get a fresh basin of water or a change of gauze these past three days. Isn’t that right, Nagisa-sama?” This time, it was Nagisa whose face turned red as the medic winked at him. “You are fortunate to have such a caring husband, General—I myself only have a cranky old wife to return to every night!”

“…Yes. I certainly am.” Although his cheeks turned slightly pink as well, Rei’s smile broadened slightly. “Thank you.” Seeing this reaction made the flush travel to Nagisa’s ears as he again shuffled his feet in a flustered way, trying not to read too much into Rei’s words.

He’s only responding politely! It’s just etiquette! he scolded himself in his head. And yet, he could not help but feel happy about the simple response, said in such a quiet but sincere-sounding voice…realizing that he was grinning foolishly, the boy shook his head as if to dispel his thoughts.

By now, the whole situation seemed helpless. Or perhaps, it already had been since quite a while ago. But either way, Nagisa decided with only a little guilt, that he would allow himself to feel that happiness just a little while longer.

When Nagisa took it upon himself to continue being Rei’s primary caretaker, however, ‘a little while longer’ ended up extending into almost a month. During Rei’s weeks of recovery, the blonde kept him company every day for almost the entire span of the time, leaving the ward only when Rei fell asleep at night and returning early in the morning with breakfast when Rei woke the next day. To Rei’s not-so-slight embarrassment, Nagisa firmly insisted on feeding him, since moving his arms would pull on his back muscles and cause the injuries there to sting. He even brought Rei occasional treats from the palace kitchen—Rei wondered when Nagisa had even made friends with the palace cooks—despite the man’s protests that he should really ‘maintain a balanced diet for optimum health recovery’ (to which he received a firm ‘A single confection now and then won’t kill you, Rei!’ in response).

In addition to these treats, Nagisa also brought books from Rei’s study to read to Rei, and through their constant afternoons of reading, his literacy skills improved steadily. When both of them tired of looking at books, Nagisa would set them aside for a while and tell lively anecdotes, either stories that he had been taught by his sisters or stories about his own past. Whenever he managed to make Rei smile or laugh, which was happening more often day by day, the blonde felt as if he was dancing on air each time, as if he held the whole world in his hands.

Even when visitors came to see Rei, Nagisa remained by the man’s side—the visitors ranging from Officer Mikoshiba and other members of the royal guard to Sultan Rin and his sister Gou, to Rei’s uncle and aunt, whose faces he only barely remembered from his and Rei’s wedding months ago. It had been the first time that the blonde had really had a moment to get to interact with them, the cheerful, tan elder with goldenrod hair and brown stubble who had been old friends with Nagisa’s own father, and his slightly queer but kind brunette wife who quoted vague lessons from several dubious sources with a good-natured smile on her face. Rei had said that they would be at the ball, and due to a prior engagement they had arrived late that evening, just in time to see Rei being carried out by the medics. Considering the grief and worry they must have gone through, the couple had been kind to Nagisa upon their visit, both of them expressing relief that he had not been badly injured during the assassination attempt and thanking him for taking care of Rei during his recovery. It had made Nagisa feel more than a little guilty, when he remembered all the times he had resented his father’s old friend for arranging his marriage with Rei. Even now, the blonde did not exactly feel grateful towards Rei’s uncle, but when he thought that he might never have met Rei otherwise, Nagisa found himself feeling thankful that the arrangement had brought him to the blue-haired man.

When the head medic declared that Rei would only need a few more days to recover, Nagisa was at once glad but, to his guilt, slightly disappointed. He knew that full recovery would mean Rei returning to his full-time duties as a royal guard, and that he would not be able to spend as much time with the brunet as he had this past month. The morning before Rei finally was able to leave the ward, the blonde found himself taking longer to change Rei’s bandages, his hands lingering on the man’s back as he rubbed salves onto his now-hardened scars and wound the gauze around them for the last time. Noticing that Nagisa was a little quieter than usual that day, Rei carefully opened his mouth as the blonde tucked the end of the gauze in.

“Is…is something the matter, Nagisa?” Clearing his throat, Rei explained himself. “You are speaking less than you usually do.” At this, Nagisa blinked his eyes a few times before he smiled brightly at Rei.

“Whatever do you mean? Nothing’s wrong!” he chirped in response, masking his truer feelings. Embarrassment aside, how could he tell Rei that he wished they could stay like this at the ward longer, when he should be happy that Rei was nearly fully recovered? “You’ll finally be healed fully by the next day. What can possibly be the matter? I was only thinking how happy I am that you’ll finally be completely recovered.” At this comment, Rei flushed slightly, a smile forming on his face.

“Thank you.” The brunet did not mention that a part of his heart wanted to keep Nagisa by his side longer, that wished the days they had together at the ward could continue. He was a fully grown man of twenty-four years, and he did not feel that it was in his place to say such childish things when Nagisa had spent close to a month taking care of him in his wounded state. Realizing this, Rei opened his mouth.

“I…I know that it must have been troublesome, being by my side and tending to my recovery these past weeks…so, thank you. Without you, I doubt I would have healed as quickly.” He smiled at Nagisa. “You did not even have a chance to spend time in the study or dance in the courtyard...you will finally have time for yourself now, and I’m glad.” Something within Nagisa unfurled itself at this point, and he drew himself up in protest.

“It was not troublesome at all! After all, I—“ He stopped short in his sentence when he realized what he was about to admit. Flushing, Nagisa averted his eyes way from Rei as he continued. “Just…I never once thought it was trouble. At all…” His voice grew smaller and eventually trailed off into a moment of awkward silence. After a while, Nagisa coughed and hastily said, “I should fetch more water from the fountain. Be right back!” With that, he was out of the ward in a flash, leaving behind a puzzled Rei in his bed. Darting through the halls of the palace as if to throw off the strong blush that was creeping over his entire body, he barely avoided the palace personnel as they each sidestepped him just in time.

You are an idiot, idiot, idiot!!! he told himself furiously as he ran, eyes squeezed shut in embarrassment. He’s just about to recover from his injuries, and he returns to work tomorrow! What were you thinking? This is no time to trouble him with these feelings!!

In fact, Nagisa was not even sure if any time would be a good time to make his feelings known—whether he should even let Rei know of his feelings at all. He knew Rei probably didn’t feel the same—what were the odds of both persons in an arranged marriage falling in love with each other? It sounded too good to be true—and Nagisa did not feel as if he had done anything to win Rei’s heart over the months that he had known the man. Well, he had only become aware of his feelings a month ago, and he had been taking care of Rei the past month, but he had only been focusing on Rei’s recovery—although he ended up enjoying his time with the man perhaps much more than he should have. He had hardly paid attention to his own countenance during those weeks, instead thinking solely of improving Rei’s welfare—when Rei had first regained consciousness, Nagisa realized in dismay, he had not slept or bathed for days, there had been heavy dark bags under his eyes, his hair had started to look like mangy straw, his skin had been pale and his clothes heavily wrinkled.

After seeing him in such a condition once, how would Rei ever think that he was attractive? The brunet himself was a very put-together man in that sense, his clothes always neat and his hair perfectly brushed, his insistence on maintaining the most beautiful form for his daily life always staunch. Rei loved beauty in things and in people, and Nagisa was sure that he had looked nothing close to beautiful in Rei’s eyes. Wondering if he even had a chance to anymore, the boy slowed his pace as he walked to the fountain, feeling a dull ache starting to form in his heart.

It seemed now that his views on love had always been naive. From the beginning, Nagisa was starting to find, the emotion was filling his heart with fears and doubts and insecurities. He thought of his parents, who had always seemed happily in love, and wondered if either of them had ever felt this way before.

“Tell him.”

Upon hearing these two words from his grey-haired friend, Nagisa nearly dropped the basket of oranges he held in his arms. Quickly balancing the basket again, the blonde stammered out a response as his face erupted into flames.

“B-but Ai-chan! I, I don’t even know what Rei feels—and he’s only just now recovered—“ Hearing these protests, Nitori let out a sigh as he took the basket of oranges from Nagisa’s arms and set them down on the table. It was nighttime, and after Rei had fallen asleep Nagisa had returned to their living quarters to talk to Nitori about his new feelings for the man, which he had come to ascertain during the near month that he had spent by Rei’s side. And now, turning towards the blonde, the grey-haired boy sighed as he gave him an exasperated look.

“So His Honor is recovered, is he not? Your confession would not shock him into illness or injury once again.” He crossed his arms with a touch of impatience. “You are usually so bold and do not hesitate in anything else—why do you hesitate now?”

“Be-because—“ Nagisa faltered, cheeks still red. “I—I’m childish and I’m not as intelligent or orderly or mature—everything that he finds beautiful, I’m not. And all this time, in our marriage, all I’ve done was depend on him…” His hand clenched into a fist at his side. “I…I’m scared, Ai-chan. I’m scared that he won’t want someone like me…he didn’t choose to marry me, and it is a miracle that we’ve even become friends. If…if my feelings are one-sided…I don’t want them to destroy what we have now. If…if he stops seeing me favorably because of them—I wouldn’t know what to do…!” His hand clenched the edge of his vest right under his chest. “I’m scared…” Seeing the sad look on his friend’s face made Nitori’s eyes soften.

“Why can neither of you see it, I wonder?” he murmured, half to himself. “You spent all these past months with His Honor, Nagisa-kun. He has changed because you came into his life, and for the better—everyone who has known him for long can see it. You are married to him, for crying out loud—no matter that it was arranged, you still have more of a chance with His Honor than anyone else in the whole world.” The servant’s voice softened as he continued. “He took ten knives in the back for you—would have taken all eleven, if he could have. That alone speaks volumes about how much he cares for you—if he can do that for you, he would never judge you badly for being honest with your feelings. Not for something like that.” He took one of Nagisa’s hands in his own encouragingly.

“You have more of a chance than you think, Nagisa-kun. You have a chance—so take it. Or do you plan on going your whole life hiding your feelings from His Honor?” The last question caught Nagisa off-guard, and he thought about it. Could he keep his love a secret from Rei? For the rest of his life, which he was sure to spend by Rei’s side?

He reached an answer in less than ten seconds. And when he did, he also reached a conclusion.

“…I’ll do it.” Nagisa’s voice held a slight tremor, but also held a sort of determination in it. “I’ll tell Rei.” Upon hearing this response, Nitori’s smile widened and his sky blue eyes sparkled.

“Now, that sounds more like the Nagisa-kun I know.” He slapped Nagisa lightly on the back, causing the boy to jump in surprise. “I won’t try to rush you into doing it, but don’t lose courage for good!” Nagisa smiled slightly at his friend’s encouragement, the smile tinged with nervousness.

“Thanks, Ai-chan.” When he realized just what he had decided to do, the rhythm of his heart sped up, the anticipation making the beat stronger with every second.

As he went through the first day of his return to duty, Rei wondered why Nagisa had been so fidgety that morning. When they had breakfast together, the blonde had constantly been averting his eyes from Rei’s, twiddling his thumbs under the table and squirming in his seat nervously. When the brunet attempted to ask him what was wrong, Nagisa had immediately steered the conversation elsewhere, still not meeting Rei’s eyes. And now, at the present moment, Rei didn’t even realize he was frowning until a cheerful voice interrupted his thoughts from his left.

“General Rei! Why the frown on your face?” Turning, Rei found Officer Mikoshiba grinning at him with a salute. “It’s your first day back on duty, fit as a fiddle—ah, is that the reason?” The orange-haired man raised one eyebrow with a knowing smile. “Already missing your husband’s care?” Blushing, Rei opened his mouth in protest.

“That is most certainly not it!” Admittedly, his response was only half-true—and he had been thinking of said blonde before the interruption, but there was no way that he would admit this to the officer. Laughing good naturedly, Mikoshiba slapped Rei on the shoulder good-naturedly, making the man wince only slightly—thankfully, his wounds had had a month to heal and they did not sting as much.

“His Highness has summoned for you, General. Perhaps he wants to check your state of health. He shall see you in the audience room, as usual!”

“Ah—I see. I shall go see His Majesty, then.” Giving Mikoshiba a thankful smile, Rei saluted back at the officer. “Thank you, Officer—there is no man more reliable than you are.” The whole month that Rei had been absent from his duties, Officer Mikoshiba had taken over as general of the guard—and while Rei had already thanked the man several times, he felt like offering a last simple thanks. As if sensing Rei’s purpose, the orange-haired officer flashed a grin at him.

“I have served His Majesty for fifteen years now—if I’m still not reliable, I don’t know what I would be!” Slapping Rei on the back once more, Mikoshiba waved him away. “Go now, General—His Majesty awaits!” Coughing slightly from the slap, Rei smiled back weakly before making his way towards the stairwell.

…

“Well, there you are, you reckless piece of camel dung!” As Rei approached the platform, Rin didn’t bother letting him get to the foot of the stairs. Just as he had done before, the Sultan quickly hopped down the steps and tread across the floor to meet Rei halfway. “How does your back feel now, hero? Still stings?”

“Just a little, Your Highness,” Rei admitted. “But the wounds have fully closed up, and soon the pain will disappe—ouch!!” He jumped slightly as Rin slapped him in the back before he could even finish his sentence. Looking satisfied with himself, the red-haired sultan grinned at Rei as he stood back and observed the brunet’s reaction.

“Hm, it does seem like you’ve recovered. All is well, then, isn’t it?”

“Ouch—Your Majesty!!” Rubbing his back gingerly, Rei threw a reproachful glare at the redhead. “What in the world was that for?!” The sultan shrugged casually.

“Punishment? For taking ten goddamn knives to your back when you could’ve easily avoided them?” He rolled his red eyes at the guard. “You and Blondie, in fact—you put the General of my army out of duty for a goddamn month.” Flushing slightly, Rei averted his eyes and muttered out a response.

“I…I did not have leisure to think ahead, Your Highness.” Just the possibility that the knives could have hit Nagisa instead still chilled him to the bone, even a whole month after the incident had occurred. “I would rather that they hit me than harm Nagisa, any day.” At this unadulterated display of affection, Rin rolled his eyes again before tsking.

“Yeah, yeah—you should probably teach your spouse some self-defense techniques. Since he’s as good as a palace courtesan now—and you know we aren’t exactly short on enemies.” Letting out a snort of laughter, Rin continued. “By the way, that’s why I called you over here today. Now that I’ve made sure you’re not on the verge of starting your next life anymore, I want to make an offer through you for Blondie.” Rei blinked curiously.

“An offer, Your Highness? For Nagisa?” Rin nodded, his red eyes looking thoughtful.

“When I saw you two dancing at the ball, I remembered that I’ve seen him somewhere before. He and his sisters, weren’t they part of a dance troupe?” Rei nodded, a little surprised. “I knew it—I’ve seen them perform once when I was little. I was at some noble’s boring party, and I was just about to sneak out of that mansion when I saw them starting to dance. I remember they were pretty good—and Blondie was only a little brat back then, but he was pretty darn good for his age, too. How do I say it—“ Rin rubbed the back of his head a little awkwardly as he tried to think of an appropriate description. “They dance like they’re breathing—nothing looks practiced or unnatural at all. And they look like they’re enjoying the hell out of it. The court dancers I have now don’t hold a candle to them—they always look too formal and stiff, almost like they’re scared of being executed if they don’t do a good job or something.” Sighing, he returned his attention to Rei. “Anyways, I’ve seen Blondie dance at the ball—he’s obviously still got it in him. Do his sisters still dance?”

“…Yes, Your Majesty.” Slowly, a cold feeling started to well up at the bottom of Rei’s stomach. “I believe they are still working as a dance troupe.” In the back of his mind, he started to hope that Rin would not say what he thought the redhead would say.

“I’ve been thinking,” Rin said, “That I want to hire them to be my court dancers. And the offer extends to Blondie as well. With you away for duty all the time, he must be more than a little bored—it’d give him a job, something to occupy himself with.” Seeing the look on Rei’s face, Rin added hastily, “I wouldn’t do a single thing to him, of course, or his sisters—you know I don’t do anything funny with my dancers. It’s fine that he’s married, and I’ll make it clear that no one but you is ever to lay a hand on him.” In fact, it was a strict rule that no one could touch the palace dancers against their will, with the punishment being execution—Rei knew that Rin was making a special exception for Nagisa, because usually court dancers could not be married and had to retire once they did. And he knew Rin would not lay a hand on Nagisa—they had been friends for years, and Rei knew the Sultan was no such man.

That was not the reason for his sudden change in expression. Quickly pasting a smile on his face, Rei opened his mouth.

“I…I believe Nagisa would be happy to accept your offer, Your Highness.” His voice was cheerful, but to himself, it sounded hollow. “I shall deliver your message to him when I next see him. And I will ask him to consult with his sisters on the matter.” At this response, Rin looked relieved.

“Tell him everything I told you—and tell him he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to. It’s just an offer, is all.” The redhead frowned uncertainly as he looked at Rei. “And, well, if you don’t like the idea, then…” At this, Rei quickly shook his head.

“I would be very happy if Nagisa decides to accept, Your Majesty. He loves dancing—and I am sure the job would make him feel happy and fulfilled.” The brunet smiled sincerely at Rin, masking the hollow feeling in his heart. “Thank you, Your Highness.” Rin tsked as he looked away in embarrassment, waving his hand as if to wave Rei away.

“Tch, it’s nothing to thank me for. Go back to your duties now—and don’t get stabbed on the job again!” Maintaining the smile on his face, Rei bowed his head down at Rin.

“Yes, Your Majesty.” He turned around and walked towards the ivory doors of the audience hall. As the doors fell shut behind him, they made a heavy sound that rang hollow in Rei’s ears. Immediately, the smile vanished from his face and was replaced with a somber expression. The man’s eyes closed tiredly as he leaned against the ivory doors, his heart feeling heavy.

During the next few days, the servants noticed that both of their masters were emotionally occupied in one way or another. While the younger continued to be just as self-conscious and fidgety as he had been since Rei’s recovery, the older seemed far away in his thoughts, his eyes tinged with conflict and his lips heavily set in a straight line. During their meals, they dined in almost complete silence without even realizing it, each of them buried too deep in their own thoughts to notice the other’s troubled look. Seeing both his masters acting this way made Nitori want to throw his hands up in exasperation and force the both of them to talk to each other—but remembering that he had promised Nagisa that he would watch from the sidelines, the servant pressed his lips together and let the couple be.

On the third night since Rei’s recovery, when he heard that the blue-haired guard had returned to his quarters and was working in the study, Nagisa finally decided that it was time to tell Rei. Mustering up what courage he could, he fidgeted nervously with the shawl wrapped around his waist as he made his way down the corridor, reciting the words in his head over and over, his heart threatening to burst out of his ribcage and up his throat as each step took him closer to the study. Stopping in front of the ebony doors, the blonde took a deep breath before he knocked, once and twice.

“Come in.” Hearing Rei’s voice, Nagisa gulped slightly before he opened the door and stepped in.

“It’s…it’s me.” His voice came out soft, a little higher than he had intended it to sound. Closing the door behind him, he looked forward and saw Rei, sitting at his desk as he had done so many times, his eyes on a manuscript as he took careful notes on a piece parchment, his quill poised elegantly between long, tan fingers as they made a scratching sound on the paper. The man did not turn around as he answered.

“What is it, Nagisa?” The grip around his quill tightened as the he pressed it harder onto the parchment. Rei briefly wondered if his voice had not sounded stiff, but that thought vanished as he heard Nagisa speak.

“I…I was…” His heart suddenly jolting with panic, Nagisa said with a too-cheerful voice, “I was just wondering how your back is feeling! You’re not straining it too much on duty, I hope!” Inside, he cursed himself for his cowardliness, biting his bottom lip as he began sinking into self-deprecation.

“…My back is fine.” Rei continued to write with the quill, still not turning around.

“O-oh…that's good to hear.” Now starting to notice that Rei was being a little short with him, Nagisa’s face fell as his hands fumbled with the shawl around his waist. “Should…should I leave you alone? You seem busy now…” Hearing the hesitant tone in the boy’s voice, Rei let out a quiet sigh before he inserted the quill into his ink bottle.

“…Wait, Nagisa.” You have to tell him sometime. He slowly turned around in his chair to face his husband. “I…I have something…that I want to discuss with you.” This can’t continue on forever. “I meant to tell you before…but I…” Stopping his own words from coming out his throat, Rei paused before starting anew.

“His Majesty has made an offer the other day—and he wanted me to deliver it to you.” As Nagisa’s eyes blinked curiously, Rei pasted a smile onto his face. “When he saw you dancing at the ball, he was impressed with your skill and talent—and he recalled that he has seen you and your sisters’ dance troupe perform in the past.” Keep speaking. “He remembered that he enjoyed your dancing very much—and so, he told me to ask you, if you and your sisters would like to become his court dancers.” At this news, Nagisa’s burgundy eyes widened with surprise as he stepped forward.

“My sisters and I? Palace dancers?” His heart started to thump with excitement as he approached Rei. “His Majesty wanted us to…?” The smile faltered on Rei’s face, but he fought to keep it on.

“…Yes. He asked me to ask you what you thought. He did expressly say it was your choice—and you would have to consult with your sisters…”

“I would love to!” Rei’s heart sank as Nagisa’s burgundy eyes shone with eagerness. “I’m sure my sisters would accept, too—this is wonderful!” I can finally stand on my own…! he thought happily. I can earn my place here at the palace…here next to Rei…! He was so overcome with his own excitement that he did not notice the smile beginning to fade from Rei’s face. “Oh, I can just imagine the look on their faces when I tell them! Speaking of my sisters, Rei, may I invite them over here? I would love to tell them in person!“

“Of course you can, Nagisa.” Rei felt something withering within him as he fought to keep his voice cheerful, or at least acceptably so. “In fact…why don’t you ask them to come tomorrow?” If it has to happen…better that it happens soon. “It would be good to give His Highness an answer soon.” At this, Nagisa clapped his hands in delight.

“I will send them a message, then! Rei, this is wonderful—I can’t believe such a fortunate thing could happen!” He turned his sparkling eyes toward the brunet. “Now I can finally put myself to work—Rei?” Finally noting that the man looked a little subdued, the cheer in the boy’s eyes was immediately replaced with concern. “Is something wrong? You don’t seem very cheerful…” At his observation, Rei quickly shook his head, with a gentle smile on his face.

“I am fine. It makes me happy to see you so excited.” He fought to keep his voice steady as he said the next words.

“In fact…I wanted to discuss something else with you.” Now, Nagisa’s eyes turned curious as they blinked at Rei. “Will you wait awhile? I must gather something from the back of the study. Excuse me.” Leaving behind a curious Nagisa, Rei strode towards the movable bookcases at the back and slid them away, disappearing into the space behind them.

In a few moments, he emerged with a scroll of parchment in his hands, closed with a red and gold seal. It took a while for Nagisa to recognize the seal as that of the officiant who had married the two of them, but when he did, he immediately became confused.

“Rei…? Is that…?” As he spoke, Rei quietly undid the seal and unrolled the parchment. Nagisa’s guessing had been right—the top of the parchment read “Marriage Certificate”, and it had his and Rei’s names written underneath. When his prediction was confirmed, the blonde’s confusion doubled, and he looked back up at Rei with puzzled eyes. “But why…why do you bring it out now?” he asked.

“…Look at the bottom.” At Rei’s direction, Nagisa looked. There was his name again, his initials signed in his handwriting along with his sisters’ signatures to one side. And next to Rei’s name…there was no signature. Not that of Rei’s uncle…nor Rei’s own, in fact. As the blonde’s eyes widened with confusion, the brunet spoke.

“I did not sign it.” His voice was soft. “I’m sorry I did not tell you. You seemed so upset about the arrangement before…I was afraid to reveal the truth to you.”

“…What does this mean…?” Slowly, Nagisa looked up at Rei, his eyes now tinged with disbelief. “It’s unsigned…you never signed it?” In his mind, a thousand different voices spoke, all of them arguing about what this meant—he struggled to shake off those voices as he looked into Rei’s eyes, almost pleadingly, as he waited for an answer. “Why?”

“…I was waiting for the right moment to let you go.” Rei’s voice was quiet. “I never intended to bind you to me for life—not when you wish for a different future.” He smiled ruefully as he continued.

“You will become a palace dancer now—you and your sisters will remain under His Majesty’s protection for the rest of your lives. You will never have to worry about food or shelter or harassment ever again.” As Nagisa’s eyes widened with disbelief, Rei continued. “His Majesty is kind to his dancers—he never forces them to keep him company, and he will release them if they ask to be released. You will be free to leave the palace as you wish—you can go and travel the world as you always wished to. See the places you have always dreamed of seeing from your father’s stories. And find someone…who you can truly give your heart to.” He fought to keep the smile on his face as he said the next words.

“Please…go out there, and find happiness.” You are most beautiful when you are free.

He looked down at Nagisa, expecting him to look happy, or surprised.

What he saw instead were tears. Rei’s eyes widened as he took in Nagisa’s face—it was frozen with a look of shock, as if he himself didn’t even realize he was crying.

“…Nagisa?!” At once taken aback and concerned, Rei immediately reached out towards the blonde. “Why are you crying…?! What is wrong…?!”

“…You’re fine with it…?” Nagisa’s voice trembled slightly as he spoke. “You’re fine with letting me go…?” At the question, Rei’s breath caught in his throat. Struggling to breathe, he fought not to choke as he replied.

“…Yes.” His hands began to tremble at his sides as he responded. “I…I planned to do so from the start. If it means that you will be happy.” Even as his heart was slowly breaking, Rei hoped that his words would have the effect of reassuring the blonde.

But they didn’t. In the next moment, hurt crossed Nagisa’s face as his shoulders started to quiver. More tears started to fill his burgundy eyes, blurring his sight as they flowed out from the corners of his eyes. His teeth clenched beneath his trembling lips as a shaky hand shot out and snatched the certificate from Rei’s hand. In the next second, Rei heard the sound of parchment ripping lash through the room like a whip. The world seemed to come to a stop as Nagisa tore the certificate in half, right before his eyes. As the halves of the parchment dropped from the blonde’s hands and drifted towards the floor, Rei stood frozen still, unable to think clearly, unable to see anything else.

Then, he saw Nagisa turn heel and stride towards the study doors. Through the ebony doors the boy disappeared, the dark wood falling shut behind him, leaving the brunet alone in the empty study.

It was with the sound of the heavy doors slamming that Rei’s heart broke in half.

Chapter Text

He thought he could remember the way out of the palace. Nitori had taken him through so many corridors after all—the servant had even taught him where the secret passages that connected the palace grounds to the outside were. He only stopped to take a drape off a table to cloak himself with, so that he would blend in easily with the night.

Within thirty minutes, Nagisa was outside the palace and finding his way through the streets. In his hand was a slip of paper with a new address written on it—it was the message that his sisters had sent him before, telling him of the new place where they resided. There had also been a line asking after Rei’s welfare, and the blonde stubbornly avoided looking at it now as he glanced at the address on the message.

He navigated himself quickly through the streets until he arrived at the doorstep of a small, shabby inn. Had he been in a better emotional condition, he would have been puzzled by the state of residence that his sisters were in—with the support of Rei’s uncle, he would have thought that they were living in a much more nicely-furnished place—but at the moment he did not take much notice of the detail. Raising his hand, he knocked on the door a few times before the inn-keeper answered it, her face looking sleepy and a little irritated.

“If you are looking for a room, we are closed for the day, sire,” she said.

“I’m here to see my sisters.” Nagisa told the innkeeper his sisters’ names. “Please tell them their brother Nagisa is here.” At this request, the innkeeper cast him a suspicious look, but eventually responded with a ‘Wait here’ as she retreated back inside.

Minutes later, Nagisa heard footsteps creaking down the stairs inside. The door was thrown open and Nagisa’s eldest sister stood there, a lantern in her hand and a stern expression on her face.

“Nagisa! What are you thinking, coming here at this time of the night?! It’s dangerous—“ She stopped short in her words when she saw her brother’s swollen eyes, which were noticeable even under lamplight. “What happened?” she asked immediately, her eyes flickering with concern.

“…He never intended to keep me with him.” Nagisa’s voice was hollow as he responded. “He said he was letting me go—so I left.” At once, a look of realization crossed the Hazuki sister’s face, and she immediately put a hand to her temple as if she had a headache.

“…Come inside, it’s cold out. Hurry now.” Once Nagisa was inside, the eldest Hazuki sister quickly shut the door and locked it. Taking her brother by his hand, she tugged him up the stairs and down the hall of the second floor, stopping before the room at the far end.

Inside the room, Nagisa’s two other sisters sat atop a small shabby bed in the corner. Once they saw their brother’s face, they both jumped off the mattress and went to hug him. They pulled Nagisa towards the bed, where they sat him down and coaxed the whole story out of him. Once he finished, Nagisa was in tears once again, his shoulders trembling as he buried his face in his knees. As the younger two of his sisters stroked his hair, the eldest let out a quiet sigh before she spoke.

“I’m sorry, Nagisa. This is all our fault.” At this, Nagisa looked up from his knees as he sniffled.

“If it’s about arranging the marriage with the elder, then it’s all right…I already forgave you for that a long time ago, anyways.” His sister shook her head.

“No, it’s not just that—we have something else to confess to you. It’s about time you knew.” Upon hearing these words, Nagisa’s other two sisters retracted themselves from their brother to sit next to their older sister, guilt on their faces as well. Now a little puzzled, Nagisa blinked at them as he sat up.

“Knew what?” he asked, slowly sensing that something was amiss. He suddenly realized that Rei had not told him much about the circumstances behind his thoughts on their marriage—in fact, the brunet had not told him a single specific thing at all, not on how he had reached the decision in the first place.

Now that he thought about it, it seemed strange—why had Rei gone through all the trouble of marrying him, if he was just going to let him go? As if hearing the questions in his head, the eldest Hazuki sister spoke.

“Your marriage to Rei-san…it wasn’t arranged in the way that you thought it was,” she explained. “We weren’t approached by our father’s old friend, his uncle—he himself was the one who approached us.” At this revelation, Nagisa’s eyes grew to the size of goose eggs as he shot forward in his seat.

“What?!” His hands clenched the bedsheets on the mattress. “Then…Rei was the one who asked for my hand…?!” A look of disbelief crossed his face as his eldest sister nodded.

“Yes—and there were some circumstances behind it.” Again, the eldest sister let out a small sigh.

“You do recall our past patron—the one you ran into at the ball a month ago?” Remembering the sleazy merchant, Nagisa nodded. “When the previous Sultan was still ruling, his family had close ties to the royalty and wielded a lot of influence in the kingdom. Although they seem to have fallen out of favor with the current Sultan, that merchant’s family is still powerful. And that man—“ As she spoke of the merchant, the Hazuki sister’s eyes darkened with anger. “He planned on using his family’s influence to marry you—to make you his concubine. That bastard!” Not knowing whether to be more shocked at the revelation or the fact that his eldest sister had just sworn, Nagisa blinked in surprise. “You know his reputation as well as we do—he has forced many, many men and women to lay with him, and right before the eyes of his own wife—he beats everyone who displeases him, not just his servants, but his own spouse and children. He is scum that is not fit to be called a human!” The Hazuki sister’s hands clenched into fists as her younger sisters placed their hands on her shoulders as if to calm her down.

“When we caught wind of the rumors, we could hardly bring ourselves to sit still. We couldn’t let that man take you away from us, Nagisa.” The woman’s burgundy eyes softened as she reached out and took Nagisa’s cheek in one hand. “We were wondering how we could protect our baby brother—and we were on the verge of despair. His family is powerful, and we would not have been able to resist them had they wielded their influence—we thought about running away in the middle of the night, but where to? There was nowhere we could hide within the kingdom, and outside it, without any money or protection, we would have perished—our neighboring kingdoms turn away strangers, and there is no water that we know of outside Iwatobi’s borders. And the bandits…we would not have been able to survive. We felt as if we had been cornered by the gods.” She paused. “And then, we were approached by Rei-san.” At this point, Nagisa’s eyes blinked owlishly, realizing that one important detail was missing.

“Wait.” The blonde looked at his sister with puzzled eyes. “It just occurred to me now—but how did Rei even know who I was? I mean—I know his uncle was Father’s old friend—but we’ve never even met before our wedding—and even if he heard about me beforehand, why…why would he ask to marry me, when he didn’t even know me?” At this question, his three sisters all exchanged knowing glances before the eldest spoke.

“As I thought, you don’t remember. But then again, it was years ago…” She looked at Nagisa.

“It was about a year before Mother and Father died in the fire—he and his uncle visited our home once.” Nagisa’s sister smiled a little at the memory. “And I recall that you took to Rei-san so well. Calling him ‘onii-chan’ and tagging along after him everywhere—you were so upset when he left, and it took all of Mother’s and Father’s efforts to take the pout off your face.” Upon hearing this story, Nagisa’s eyes widened with surprise.

“I…I don’t remember that at all…” He furrowed his brow as he tried to recall the memory in his mind. “Why can’t I…”

‘Onii-chan! Smile!’

Suddenly, a memory of his own voice as a child shot across his mind, and Nagisa sat up abruptly, eyes widening. Slowly, faint images of a face began to flood his mind—a boy in his early teens, with a pale face and dark-blue hair with brilliant violet eyes—

“He didn’t have glasses,” Nagisa murmured with realization, half to himself. “He has them now, but he didn’t wear any back then…” Had he ever seen twenty-four-year-old Rei without his glasses on? Even before bed, the man had always blown out the lamplight before removing his glasses to set on the bedside table, and by then it had always been too dark for Nagisa to make his face out clearly. “And he wasn’t so tan…” At this, his two younger sisters laughed.

“Finally, you remember. You had such a crush on him back then!” “Yeah, you would start pouting if we took his attention away from you for even a few seconds!” “It was adorable, really—we wondered when we would hear you saying you would ‘marry onii-chan’ when you grew up!” As the two sisters giggled, Nagisa’s cheeks flushed pink as he pouted and looked away.

“Shut up…that was ages ago!” he muttered. He blinked as something important occurred to him.

“Wait…but Rei never once mentioned that we met before.” Greatly puzzled, he frowned, a deep crease forming between his brows. “Is it because he doesn’t remember either?” His eldest sister smiled ruefully.

“He probably didn’t want to use his past with you to his advantage,” she explained, pausing to knead her forehead slightly before continuing.

“We had a sense that he was a decent man, even if we also only met him before once on that day ten years ago—but just in case, we scared him a little. We made him swear that he would not do anything to you, that he would let you go when the time came—we even told him we knew someone inside the palace, that we would have him keep watch. And apparently, he adhered well to his promise.” As Nagisa’s eyes flickered with conflicting emotions, the eldest Hazuki sister took his hand and stroked it. “He said that he would protect you under a marriage for show—that you would be safe within the palace, under the status of his position serving the Sultan. And he promised to let you go, once the threat from that merchant’s family was out of the way. And it is now—no man can touch the palace dancers, no matter how high his rank—was that right?” The implication hung plainly in the air before Nagisa, who bit his lip as he stared down at his hands.

“I…I didn’t realize it was like that at all.” His hands fisted themselves into the cloth of his pants as he stared furiously at his knees. “He never said a word to me about any of this—and I ripped that marriage certificate in two before I left—“ As his sisters winced from beside him, his voice grew small and turned into a near-whisper. “But…why…? Why would he go so far for a person he only met once before?” The eldest Hazuki sister examined him for a moment.

“I meant to ask you during the ball—but with what happened then, I didn’t get the chance.” Her voice softened as she asked the next question.

“Are you in love, Nagisa?” She didn’t have to ask who he was in love with. For a moment, Nagisa met his sister’s eyes, his burgundy eyes wavering. Then, he nodded—once, twice, more times, he nodded his head frantically, his eyes starting to well up with tears.

“…Yeah, I am.” His voice cracked slightly as he admitted it. “I’m in love with Rei—I only realized it when he got hurt instead of me. I was so scared I would lose him then—and I’m scared of the same thing right now.” He buried his face in his knees. “What should I do…? No matter how I look at it, I hurt him with how I reacted—when he just wanted to do what he thought was the best for me.” The tears started to stain his pants, creating a damp spot under his skin. “I never even got to tell him thank you…or that I love him—what if he won’t want to see me anymore…?” The Hazuki sisters exchanged looks before they responded in a synchronization of voices,

“Then go to him first!” Startled at the shouts, Nagisa looked up at his sisters as they stared down at him with almost merciless determination.

“We’ll go with you and get on our knees to apologize, if that’s what it takes for him to listen to you,” the eldest sister said firmly. “But you must go and speak to him at all costs. Whether or not he accepts your thanks or even your feelings, one thing he deserves above everything else is an apology. It doesn’t matter that your actions were done out of ignorance—if you think he was hurt by you, then you should take the first step to remedy that.” Sighing, she crossed her arms.

“You are not completely an adult yet, dear brother, but neither are you a child. It’s about time you were honest with your feelings and face people you need to face. So do it.” With that, the burgundy-eyed woman turned to her sisters authoritatively.

“We’ll rise first thing in the morning and accompany Nagisa to the palace—any objections?” “None at all, nee-sama!” “Good. Then I suggest that we blow out the lantern and get some sleep while the night is still dark.” “Yes, nee-sama!”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Nagisa waved his arms before his sisters could put out the lantern. “What exactly are you planning to do? Barge into the palace and hunt down Rei so you can throw me at him?” When all he got in response were his sisters’ innocent stares, the boy threw his hands up in exasperation. “We can’t just go barreling in there without any sort of warning and attack him like that—I don’t want to scare him away!” His eldest sister frowned at him before relenting.

“Very well then—you might have a point there. So what do you suggest we do, then?”

“Well, first, we would have to find a way to actually get into the palace without causing a commotion.” Nagisa knew that they would definitely attract attention if they tried to slip in through one of the secret passages during the day—for one thing, it would be light and more guards would be around patrolling, and for another, there would be four of them instead of just Nagisa himself this time. The blonde frowned as he thought for a moment—then, he remembered something that his eldest sister had mentioned.

“Wait—you said you had someone you knew inside the palace watching Rei and me,” he said slowly, facing his sisters. “Which, by the way, I’m hearing about for the first time,” he added, raising an eyebrow. “Whoever that person is, can’t you contact them and see if they’d sneak us in?” At this suggestion, the Hazuki sisters’ eyes lit up.

“That’s right—we could send the dove to him right now! He could probably get us in during the day!” Again, Nagisa raised a brow.

“You have a dove?” As he said this, his second-eldest sister walked to the window and opened it. Leaning out the sill, she made a soft cooing sound—moments later, the sound of flapping wings could be heard as a dove landed on her wrist, cooing softly.

“It was the only way we could communicate with him without attracting attention,” Nagisa’s eldest sister explained, as she rummaged in the nearby chest of drawers for parchment and writing utensils. Finding them in the second drawer, she took them out and set them on the table. “In fact, we’ve been hearing all about your days at the palace through this dove.” Once he heard this, Nagisa’s mouth fell open in surprise and a little bit of indignation.

“’All about my days’—you mean you’ve been hearing about what I’ve been doing that often?”

“Yes, dear brother—we were told all the details about your developing crush on Rei-san.” The eldest sister rolled her eyes as she smirked at her youngest sibling. “As your older sisters, it is our responsibility to watch over your welfare—so of course we held a daily correspondence!” As Nagisa’s face and ears flushed red, the Hazuki sister started scrawling down a message on the scrap of parchment.

“And there—it is done. Bring me the dove!” The second Hazuki sister brought the dove to the first, and the eldest sister started attaching the message to the bird’s leg with a piece of cord. “Hopefully he will not mind being roused at this time of night. Now fly, dove! Deliver the message to the palace!” With her command, the dove flapped its wings and flew towards the window, exiting through the frame and disappearing into the black of the night sky. As Nagisa tried to calm down from his embarrassment, something occurred to him.

“So? Who is this mysterious spy in the palace?” He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his sisters. “Actually, how in the world would you know someone who lives in the palace in the first place?” Hearing his question, the eldest sister just smiled back knowingly.

“Oh, you will see who it is soon enough.” She cheerfully handed Nagisa a pillow. “Now go to sleep, dear brother! It’ll be more crowded than the poster bed you’re probably used to by now, but make do, make do!” With that, she blew out the lamplight, bringing darkness to the room.

…

As he slept that night, Nagisa dreamed. He dreamed of a beautiful boy with dark-blue hair and kind violet eyes tinged with sadness, of long pale fingers flipping through pages and a gentle voice reading words out loud. He dreamed of a protective warmth enveloping him, of a certain scent that he was sure he had used to love. He dreamed of all these things, only to forget them upon waking the next day.

But as it turned out, he would remember them again. And once he did, he would never again let himself forget that precious memory from the past.

-Ten Years Ago-

In all fourteen years of his life, Rei had never imagined that the hunger and grief of others would take his parents away from him.

Not his kind, caring parents, who had never done anything to deserve their fate. Not his quiet but compassionate father, who had taught him the joys of learning and had always believed that universal education would lead to peace and prosperity in the world, who Rei had always looked up to and aspired to take after. Not his cheerful, gentle mother who had not only taught him to have pride in who he was, but also to be humble in the face of others, who had always taught him money and status were not the keys to defining a person. Even in the face of adversity from the other nobility, not to mention the Sultan himself, they had always stood by their ideals, had strived endlessly to bring change to the kingdom despite the draught and hardships.

He had been sent away from home that day for a field study at one of the kingdom’s museums. It had been in the middle of his trip back home when he saw the heralds running through Iwatobi, announcing news of the civilian riots in the nobles’ district. The shouts of numbers, of numerous casualties and deaths, had made the teen go pale. He had been about to tell the driver to rush home when a messenger on a camel ran up next to his carriage, carrying a letter from his uncle. With trembling hands, he had opened the letter—and even before his eyes finished reading the words, the parchment dropped from his hands, drifting to the bottom of the carriage. It seemed as if the world before his eyes had darkened in a matter of seconds, as if all the warmth in his body was fading away.

Do not come home. Your mother and father—they are in heaven now. I am sorry.

-Your Uncle

As his blood ran cold, Rei felt as if these words marked the end of his happiness.

It was at his parents’ funeral that Rei reunited with his uncle. They had not met for three years, as his uncle had been away on business traveling throughout the continent. Sasabe Gorou had only just reentered Iwatobi’s gates when he heard of the tragedy that had occurred in the nobles’ district. He had received a telegram from one of his associates—and when he found out that his cousin and his in-law had died, he had for the moment set aside his grief and sent a message to his nephew, who the associate had confirmed to be alive. The moment that Gorou had seen Rei, pale, almost lifeless, and watching the funeral procession with dull eyes, he decided that he would take the boy under his own care.

And Rei’s uncle had been kind to him. Rei knew that Gorou also must have been grieving over his parents’ deaths, but the man had never shown his own sadness in front of his nephew. On the contrary, Gorou was cheerful around Rei, clapping the boy on the back and ruffling his hair jovially, telling his terrible jokes and laughing at them as well. Although he never pushed Rei to talk about his feelings, the brunet could tell his uncle meant well, that he wanted Rei to feel comfortable and gradually cheer up as well. And Rei was grateful, for everything his uncle had done, was doing for him—but still, the ache in his heart did not go away. He walked through his days almost like a zombie, only going through the motions of eating and sleeping, responding briefly and quietly to his uncle’s conversation attempts, his violet eyes dull with a perpetual hint of sadness to them.

In the past, when he felt down, Rei had always turned to his books to immerse himself in. But now—although his uncle had his own vast collection of books in his home study, Rei never even went near the room. He knew it would remind him too much of how his parents had used to teach him in their own study, how they had shown him the world through their many books and instruments and diagrams. Rei did not think he could even stand seeing a book ever again—the bundled manuscripts that had brought him such joy in the past would only bring him grief now, he felt. And so, he avoided them like they were a plague in his life. He was sure that he would no longer be able to feel the same happiness from them that he had been able to feel before.

It was about a month after the death of Rei’s parents when Gorou asked Rei to accompany him somewhere. The teen had been chewing listlessly on his food when his uncle’s cheerful voice caught his attention.

“I’m thinking of dropping by the house of an old friend tomorrow. You should come along with me, Rei!” Blinking, Rei looked up at his uncle with surprise.

For this past month, his uncle had gone out on his own many times, but never before had he asked Rei to accompany him. Partly because these outings had been for business, and partly because, Rei suspected, his uncle thought he needed time on his own inside the house. Perhaps now, he thought that Rei was ready to go outside again. Remembering what had happened the last time he left his home, Rei’s hand clenched the edge of the tablecloth under the table.

He did not think he was ready to face the world beyond the walls of his uncle’s home. No matter where he traveled, he knew he would see faces. Faces of the kingdom’s subjects, the vast majority of whom were poor and starving—and who probably shared the anger of the very civilians who had led the riots a month ago. He knew that the rioters had been arrested by the royal army, had been sentenced to death by the Sultan for their rebellion—but knowing that truth did not make him feel satisfied, or as if he had gotten revenge.

In fact, Rei did not even know whether he felt vengeance towards these people or not—all he knew was that his parents had been killed by the very citizens they had wanted to help. In the end, both his parents and those people had died—so many had died in those riots, which may or may not have been able to be prevented. And knowing this, the only emotion that Rei could feel was a hollow sadness, one that was slowly starting to eat his soul away.

The next day, as if he had read his nephew’s mind, Gorou gave Rei a gentle push. As they were riding through the streets of the kingdom in their carriage, the dark-blonde man turned to Rei and spoke.

“Look out the window, Rei. Take a look at the people in the streets.” Hearing these words made Rei’s own mouth drop open in surprise.

Suddenly, a clammy feeling of dread welled up in his heart—he knew they were now outside the district of the nobility, past the middle-class district, even. He did not want to see the faces he knew were waiting outside the curtain of the carriage window—he did not feel prepared. What would he feel when he saw them—rage? Guilt? More sadness? He thought he would see his own parents’ faces in the faces of these strangers, somehow, and he did not want to. As if sensing his distress, Gorou smiled encouragingly at Rei.

“The world is not all bad, Rei. And neither are its people. Give them a chance.”

“…Yes, sir.” Rei’s voice was a bare whisper.

Slowly and reluctantly, he raised his hand towards the curtain—and pulled it open. Immediately, he shut his eyes as the rays of sunlight came streaming through the window—it made his eyes twinge, even though they were safe under his eyelids. Gingerly, the brunet opened his eyes—and the scenery of the neighborhood that he was seeing for the first time greeted him.

The streets were dusty with desert sand carried by the wind, and unpaved. They were lined with the small, shabby structures of houses, some with tiny yards that were reserved for what few livestock the residents owned. There was laundry hanging on lines draped over the roofs and windowsills, the clothes full of holes and tears, some still stained even after washing. There were a few flies that darted about the air, their buzzing combining with the unpleasant smell of goats and chickens and cattle and their dung. The scent made Rei’s nose wrinkle as he clapped a hand over his nostrils and mouth.

And there were the people. There were many more of them than Rei had ever seen in the streets of the nobles’ district, where the residents rarely walked the paved streets and instead traveled inside carriages. They were dressed in worn-out clothing, with tears and patches covering them up, the cloth dusty from the sand in the air. Some of them cast curious glances at the carriage Rei and his uncle rode in—others just went about their daily routine, the men feeding the livestock and bundling up their stock for trade as they prepared to leave for the market, the women cooking or doing laundry or cradling their infants in their arms as their older children assisted with the chores or ran through the streets with each other as they played. It was a peaceful scene of daily life that presented itself outside the window, and to Rei it felt surreal.

A part of him had almost expected them to look angry, or to look as if they were in hunger or pain, or even sad. But they did not—the people looked happy, the men giving their wives a quick peck before setting off for the fields or the market, the women cheerfully humming their tunes as they looked after their children or did their housework. And the children—they looked as if poverty was the last thing on their mind, as they ran around the streets playing tag and kicking a ball around. As if sensing Rei’s surprise, his uncle opened his mouth from beside him.

“They have less than what we ourselves take for granted,” he said. “But they make do with what they have—and they do not lose hope or feel shame for what they do not have. All the while hoping for a future where their children can be happy.” Rei turned to see his uncle smiling. “They are the people that your parents wanted to help—it is those hopes and futures that they wanted to protect.” As his uncle’s words sank in, Rei blinked a few times before turning to look out the window again. But before he could observe further, the youth felt the carriage rolling to a slow stop. Rei turned towards Gorou in confusion.

“We’re...we are making a stop here, Uncle?” He had thought they were only riding through the commoners’ district in the middle of their trip. In reply, Gorou’s smile split into a cheerful grin.

“This is where my old friend lives. He invited the both of us to his home today—and I hear he has three daughters now—one the same age as you, in fact!” The man clapped Rei cheerfully on the shoulder. “Let us go and meet them!”

…

The door of the house they called upon was already open, as if it had been waiting for visitors to arrive. As Rei and his uncle neared the small house, which seemed to be in better condition than others on the street, they heard a woman’s scolding voice from within.

“All of you, my dears, behave! Didn’t I say we have important visitors coming here today? Now just stand still—“

“Who are they, Mama? We never had visitors before—what do they look like? Where are they from? Are they bringing any treats?” The voice of a little child—Rei wasn’t sure whether it was a boy or girl—piped up eagerly. As it did, Rei blinked quizzically—hadn’t his uncle said his friend’s daughters were around his age? Meanwhile, a girl’s voice could be heard next, responding with disdain in her voice.

“Calm down, Nagi-chan~! They’re going to think we’re crude and uncivilized if you keep blabbing like that!”

“I am not—cr…crood and uncivi—civi—“ The sounds of girls’ voices giggling could be heard, along with the little child’s frustrated whine. “Mrrr~~!! Stop laughing, nee-chan!!”

“Now, now, girls, stop teasing your brother—let’s all just calm down and—“

“Ah! I see a carriage outside the door, Mother—have they arrived?”

“A carriage?! Where, where? I wanna see!” Rei could hear the light skitter of footsteps getting closer to the open door. Before he could even make out the face of the child, the flash of blonde hair and brightly colored clothing barreled into him, nearly knocking the blue-haired teen down. Staggering back while barely regaining balance, Rei’s startled eyes looked down at the child, who had fallen back and landed on his bottom with an “Oof!” He started to wonder whether he should help the child up when the little boy—Rei was pretty sure he had been referred to as a ‘brother’—looked up at him. The first thing the teen noticed was the boy’s eyes—they were large, round eyes of a jewel-like shade of burgundy, framed by blonde lashes, and they were fixed on Rei and widening, glowing with curiosity and wonder.

Then, a bright, toothy smile broke out on the boy’s face. Taken aback by the sudden cheer in it, Rei blinked—before the boy’s high-pitched voice broke through his confusion.

“It’s an onii-chan!!” As he happily squealed, the smile on the little boy’s face widened. “With really pretty eyes!” And even though the compliment was from a child, Rei found himself flushing in embarrassment—he had never been good with handling this sort of attention from others, regardless their age. Next to Rei, Gorou looked down at the boy with surprise.

“Why, hello there—just who might you be?” He scratched the back of his head in puzzlement. “I thought there were only three daughters—“

“He is my most recent child,” a second man’s voice said from behind him good-naturedly. “It has been years since we lost contact—I must have forgotten to mention my youngest in my message to you.” Turning, Rei and his uncle saw a dark-haired man with keen eyes that twinkled with good humor—and welcoming. Upon seeing his old friend, a wide grin spread across Gorou’s face, and he stepped forward to crush the man in a hug, slapping his back jovially.

“Hazuki!! It’s been ages, you rascal! And you’re still the same as ever—except your face looks like it’s filled out a little! I see getting married has done you some miracles—you were a sack of bones when I last saw you!”

“And I see you’ve also changed little, Sasabe,” the man named Hazuki replied with a touch of cheerfulness to his composed voice. “Perhaps you’ve gained a wrinkle or two—and you’ve finally abandoned your attempt at a full-on beard, I see!” As the two men exchanged greetings, Nagisa looked curiously from Rei to Gorou and back.

“Is that your papa, onii-chan?” he piped up. “You two don’t look alike at all!” At this innocent observation, a twinge of pain welled up in Rei’s heart—but he knew it wouldn’t do to dwell on the matter. His own father was not alive anymore, but this little boy could hardly know that. As if they sensed what Rei was thinking of, both Rei’s uncle and his old friend looked up from their conversation. A somber look briefly crossed Mr. Hazuki’s eyes before the man smiled at Rei.

“Ah—yes, this must be your nephew. Ryuugazaki’s son…” Suddenly hearing his mother’s voice in his head reminding him of his manners, Rei quickly bowed his head politely towards the dark-haired man.

“Good evening, sir. My name is Ryuugazaki Rei—thank you for having me over today.” As he quietly greeted Mr. Hazuki, the man’s young son spoke again from beside him.

“Ryuuga…Ryuugaza…” He stumbled over the name while frowning slightly in concentration. “Gaza…” Sensing the child’s difficulty in pronouncing his name, as well as the expectant stares and chuckles of his father and Rei’s own uncle, Rei hesitantly opened his mouth.

“Uhm…’onii-chan’…would be fine,” he offered quietly. “If…if it is too difficult…” At this, the child blinked his wide burgundy eyes a few times before his face lit up again, not unlike a lantern.

“Really?! You’ll be my older brother?!” he asked excitedly, bouncing on his feet. “Then I’ll just call you ‘onii-chan’!” Rei found his mouth dropping open slightly as he tried to find a response for that.

“I—I only meant that you could address—“ Before he could clarify himself to this small child, however, the boy piped up again with a cheerful voice.

“I’m Nagisa!” he said brightly, extending a hand towards Rei. “I’m so happy you came, onii-chan!” Not waiting for Rei to grab his hand, the child grasped the older boy’s hand on his own, tugging the startled brunet forward. “Let’s play together!”

And at that moment, Rei more or less had a feeling that those three words would seal his fate for the day.

…

His instincts had been correct. Although the little boy—Nagisa’s attempt to drag Rei along on his playtime adventures had been stalled when Mr. Hazuki’s wife and daughters came out to introduce themselves, the blonde took to following Rei around everywhere as he was given a tour of the Hazuki household, somewhat like a puppy. As soon as Rei had finished his portion of the lunch Mrs. Hazuki had prepared for all of them, Nagisa had shot up from the table and tugged Rei away by the hand again, with a cheerful “I’ll show you all of my favorite places, onii-chan!”

Frankly, Rei felt a little awkward as he was being dragged around by this…energetic child. The brunet had always been an only child, and he had rarely been around children Nagisa’s age—and as he had never taken care of younger children before, he was not sure how to deal with the lively seven-year-old who seemed to have, for some reason, taken a shining to him. In fact, being a little overwhelmed by both the boy’s lively pace and the unfamiliar surroundings of the neighborhood, Rei was fully occupied with just keeping himself from tripping over his feet as he was tugged from place to place, so he had not spoken much the whole time.

But as it turned out, little Nagisa did not seem to mind—in fact, it seemed as if the little boy was perfectly happy just pulling Rei around to his favorite places and talking about them nearly nonstop. Such as the corner of the fence between the Hazuki home and the one next door, where he demonstrated to Rei how a loose plank could be removed to spy on the neighbors. Such as the small plot of land behind the chicken coop in the Hazukis’ yard, where the boy claimed he had secretly buried his treasures. Such as the lone swing hanging from the dried up tree that stood in a vacant plot within the neighborhood, where he asked Rei to push the swing as he rode it (the ambitious child had even offered to push the brunet on the swing but Rei had refused, for fear that the boy would fall over from his weight). Such as the abandoned hare’s burrow next to the nearby dried-up riverbank, where Nagisa said he liked to go and hide when his sisters teased him too much or when he got scolded by his parents. It was after he had been shown this burrow that Rei heard a question being directed at him.

“Hey, onii-chan—why are you so quiet?” Blinking, Rei looked down at Nagisa, whose forehead was scrunched slightly, his small mouth making a thoughtful pout as he studied the older boy with those large eyes. “Are you not having fun…?” Seeing the child’s expression grow disappointed, Rei hurriedly replied to ease his conscience.

“I—it’s not that I’m not—“ The words stumbled out uncomfortably from his throat—it had been a long, long time since he had said any words to a child. Growing up, Rei had rarely even interacted with the children his own age—he had always been the type of child to sit quietly in the corner with his nose in a book, and although a few children had initially tried to approach him, they had eventually formed groups on their own and had ultimately left him alone, and that had suited him just fine.

To be completely truthful, Rei had not even been comfortable with the idea of meeting Mr. Hazuki’s daughters, who were much closer to him in age. Not unlike their brother, the Hazuki sisters had been chatty all throughout the visit so far—the girls had tried to corner Rei several times with their playful questions and teasing, and the only thing that had kept them from successfully doing so was their own brother, who consistently seemed to pop up out of nowhere to drag him away somewhere else.

And while on one hand Rei had been grateful for these interruptions, a part of him had felt…disoriented. The more time he was spending with this child, the more Rei felt that he did not belong in this place, in a neighborhood he never thought he would set foot in, with a little boy who was lively and energetic and content with the small treasures and places of his daily life—whose innocent cheer was frankly starting to wear on Rei’s nerves. And Rei felt bad—he knew the child had not done anything wrong, had just been welcoming him and trying to befriend him in a way befitting his young age.

‘The world is not all bad, Rei. And neither are its people. Give them a chance.’

He wondered if that was why his uncle had brought him here—to show him the friendly, likeable Hazuki family, to let them cheer him up, to let him befriend the Hazuki children. To cure Rei of his complicated sentiments towards people like the Hazukis.

Rei was starting to think his uncle had overestimated him, when the bright voice of Hazuki Nagisa piped up once more.

“It’s okay! If onii-chan wants to do something else, let’s do that!” Feeling a tug on one leg of his pants, Rei looked down to meet the child’s anticipating eyes. “What do you like to do, onii-chan? How do you usually play?” Taken aback by the question, Rei let his mouth hang open dryly until he mustered up a response.

“I…don’t really…play, per say…” His mind thought of the books that had lined the walls of his study at home—the home that had been ransacked by the rioters, the books that had most likely been ripped apart, their pages torn amidst the chaos and outrage. The collection that his parents had taken pride in—and one that neither his parents nor Rei would ever see again. It pained him when he thought of the hobby that had accompanied him his entire life.

And yet. He heard the answer slip out of his mouth before he was even aware of it.

“…I like to read.” Rei was sure his voice had almost cracked at the end. “I…aside from that, I don’t really…I’m sorry—“

“Eh~~? Onii-chan likes to read?!” Startled at the delighted squeal that came from below, Rei looked down at the blonde with surprised eyes. The child’s eyes were sparkling, his hands curled and drawn up enthusiastically before him as he spoke. “Then you know how to read letters? And books? Can you read really well?!” Overwhelmed by all the questions, Rei could only bring himself to nod with each one.

“That’s great!” Again, Rei felt that small warm hand tug at his own—the temperature of that hand made his own skin feel cold in comparison. “Let’s go do that, then!”

…

Once they were back inside the Hazuki household, Nagisa had seated Rei at the head of the stairs with a firm “Wait here, onii-chan!” before disappearing down the hall. Soon, the child came running back with a stack of bound books in his arms, an anticipatory smile on his face.

“These are all the picture books I have at home!” he said proudly, holding his arms out as if to show the books off to Rei. “They used to be my sisters’ when they were little, but they said I could have them now!” His smile turned into a pout as he continued. “Even though they know how to read, cause Mama taught them when they were little, they never read to me when I ask them to—and Mama and Papa have to work when the sun’s out, so they can only read to me at bedtime. Mama is teaching me my letters now—but I haven’t learned a lot yet, so…” Nagisa looked up at Rei with hopeful eyes.

“Can we read these together, onii-chan?”

With apprehensive eyes, Rei took in the picture books in Nagisa’s arms. He could recognize some of the titles as ones his own parents had read to him when he had been younger. Knowing that he would see books when he returned, he had still followed the little boy back to his house—but would he really be able to stand looking at them now? He had avoided looking at them for so long…

“Onii-chan…?” Hearing Nagisa’s voice, Rei snapped out of his thoughts to see that the boy’s face had fallen slightly. “Do you not want to…?”

“I…” Rei hesitated. All throughout the day, he was sure he had not been much company for the child—and the seven-year-old had even tried to take his own interests into account. If he were to refuse him now, Rei was sure that he would hurt Nagisa’s feelings—and that would weigh on his conscience perhaps more heavily than he would like to admit, with the kicked-puppy expression that the boy had on his face now. Reminding himself that he was at the home of his uncle’s friend and that he should be a pleasant guest to have, even towards the youngest member of the Hazuki family, Rei swallowed slightly as he held his hands out towards the blonde.

Immediately, Nagisa’s face brightened, and he quickly chose a book out of the stack before putting the rest down next to the stairs, then held out his choice for Rei to receive. The cover read “Hansel and Gretel”—one of the many fairy tales that his mother had read to Rei when he himself had been little. But before Rei could begin dwelling on his past memories, he was distracted by the sensation of a warm weight crawling into his lap. The next thing he knew, Nagisa was seated on his thighs, his head poking out between Rei’s arms, face tilted up towards Rei with sparkling eyes.

“This is my favorite story, onii-chan!” he said happily. “Because there’s a whole house of sweets in it! Isn’t that nice?” Not seeming to register Rei’s surprise, the child nestled himself against the teen’s stomach as he made himself comfortable on the older boy’s lap. “Let’s read it together!”

“…Okay.” Taking a silent breath inwards, Rei opened the cover of the book and flipped through the first few pages, before he arrived at the beginning of the story and its accompanying illustration. His violet eyes took in the words, his mouth empty and his mind full, and only when Nagisa looked up at him quizzically did Rei remember that the little boy had not fully learnt his letters yet. Cracking his dry lips open, the brunet began reading the story out loud.

“’Once upon a time, next to a great forest, there lived a poor woodcutter with his wife and his two children. The boy’s name was Hansel and the girl’s name was Gretel’…”**

And as Rei went on reading the story out loud, he saw Nagisa’s expression change frequently—a deep pout on his face when Hansel and Gretel were abandoned in the woods, a look of hope that replaced it as the brother and sister began to follow the bread crumbs home, his eyes shining with delight when Rei described the house made of confections that the duo stumbled upon in the story. And as Rei read the part about the witch, Nagisa’s hands clenched into fists, his brow furrowed and his eyes glowing with focused determination as if he was silently cheering the two children on. Suddenly, as Rei saw the little boy experiencing these emotions, he remembered a conversation he had with his mother in the past.

-Flashback-

“Why is it a house made of confections, Mother? It is hardly practical—the materials would perish in a short time, either by rotting or by the crows nibbling on it, and the parts must constantly be restored. I understand that the witch probably wanted to attract children she could prey on, but it is such an inefficient way of designing a trap—“ Seeing the frown on her young son’s face, Rei’s mother laughed, her violet eyes sparkling with amusement.

“You do take after your father an awful lot, Rei—seven years old and already applying logic to fairy tales!” She poked gently at the wrinkle in her son’s brow. “It is maintained by the witch through her magic, and so it should be easily repairable for her as well. And Hansel and Gretel have wandered through the forest in search of their home for so long—they should be rewarded for their efforts.” At this, Rei sniffed slightly.

“But it is a trap the witch set up to catch the children—and to eat them, nothing more or less. Setting aside the point that cannibalism isn’t beautiful at all, the house made of confections can hardly be called a reward in a long-term standpoint! And magic does not exist—as much as the other children like to believe in djinn and magic carpets, they are not real.” The frown remained on Rei’s face as he mumbled, “I don’t understand—why are fairy tales loved so much? They are so different from reality, with all their magic and their happy endings…they give false hopes…” For some seconds, Rei’s mother silently studied her son, before opening her mouth.

“Perhaps you are right. Reality is rarely as pretty or grand as fairy tales are.” She reached up and stroked Rei’s hair gently. “But they give people hope—sometimes, when it is much needed. Whether they are real or not, they can become a person’s strength—and perhaps that is why they are loved so much.” Meeting her son’s eyes, Rei’s mother smiled affectionately. “It pains me to imagine that such a time would ever come—but if I were to ever lose you, like Hansel and Gretel’s father did, I would hope that you would find your way back to me just as Hansel and Gretel did. And in that way, perhaps the story would give me strength.” She planted a kiss on Rei’s forehead. “That does not sound too bad now, does it, dear?”

“…Perhaps. I would have to consider it.” As a flushing Rei grudgingly mumbled his answer, his mother laughed once more.

“It is perfectly all right to prefer books on theories and equations, Rei. After all, they provide a different kind of hope all on their own, painting possibilities for the future. One man’s banes can be another man’s dreams—whether they may be science books or fairy tales.” She ruffled Rei’s hair affectionately. “That is why your father and I like to read so much—and why we love reading to you even more. Books are our second greatest hope—and you are our first, Rei.” The woman smiled into her son’s hair. “And I hope they can become your hopes and strength as well.”

…

Rei blinked. It had been years since that conversation had taken place—and he was only remembering it now, as he was reading aloud to Nagisa. His eyes falling back on the last page of the picture book, the teen read the words aloud in a faltering voice.

“The woods grew more and more familiar to them, and finally they saw the father’s house in the distance. They began to run, rushed inside, and threw their arms around the father’s neck. The man had not had even one happy hour since he had left the children in the woods…”

‘If I were to ever lose you, like Hansel and Gretel’s father did, I would hope that you would find your way back to me.’

“…’Now all their cares were at an end’…” Drip. In Rei’s lap, Nagisa blinked as he felt a drop of liquid land on his hair. “’And they lived together…’” Drip, drip. “’Happily ever…after…’”

“…Onii-chan…?” Upon hearing the boy’s small voice, Rei blinked—feeling the water in his eyes. Through his clouded sight, he could just make out Nagisa’s wide, concerned eyes as the child stared up at him. “Why are you crying…?”

It was only then that Rei realized he had been shedding tears. As more dripped down from his eyes, his mother’s words from the past repeated themselves in his head.

‘They give people hope—sometimes, when it is much needed. Whether they are real or not, they can become a person’s strength.’

‘Books are our second greatest hope—and you are our first, Rei. And I hope they can become your hopes and strength as well.’

“Onii-chan…?”

Rei had not cried once since his parents’ death. The shock of the loss had been too great for him—the sadness too overwhelming. He was their only son—he had not wished to break into tears at their funeral. He had wanted to stay upright—shoulder the pain as best as he could—be the son that his parents would be proud of—

But all those thoughts disappeared in the matter of a second. The moment Nagisa placed his small hand on his arm, Rei tugged the child close to him in a tight hug. As Nagisa’s eyes grew larger, the brunet buried his face in the child’s hair—and he started sobbing uncontrollably. He clung to Nagisa, clung to him as if that small warm body was all he had left to take comfort in. Somewhere in his heart, a stopgap was pulled out, letting his feelings overflow and breach the surface, break the outer shell of numb acceptance he had clung to so desperately. As he felt Rei’s form convulse against his cheek, Nagisa’s eyes were wide, their large burgundy irises wavering as he sat in Rei’s tight hold. Falling silent, the little boy stayed still and let the teen who was at least twice his own size cling to him.

For the first time since his parents had left him, Rei felt his heart unclench, could feel it beating again once more.

Footnotes

* The Sultan that is mentioned in this part of the chapter is Rin’s father, who was a despotic ruler in this AU (sorry Rin’s dad ;A;)

**The narration for Hansel and Gretel in this chapter (between double quotations) was quoted from this source. I claim no credit for any part of the narration, and of course, all rights to the original fairy tale belong to the Brothers Grimm. (And although this AU has an Arabian setting, let’s assume that the storybook was imported from somewhere before the world-wide drought in this AU occurred ^^;;)

Chapter Text

{You look so unhappy. Why?}

...

The sun had just started to peek out from behind the horizon when Nagisa felt a hand shaking him awake. When he groggily opened his eyes, he found that it was one of his sisters, with an urgent look on her face.

“We received a response from our contact—there is a carriage outside waiting for us now. Hurry and get up!” Stifling a yawn, Nagisa rubbed his eyes as he stumbled off the bed after his sister.

…

Some minutes later, they were riding in the back of a carriage full of goods for trade. Apparently, the merchant who was driving the cart was headed for the palace, and had agreed to sneak the Hazuki siblings through, no questions asked. Now growing increasingly curious about the palace spy who had procured the arrangement, Nagisa turned a suspicious eye towards his eldest sister, who was seated next to him.

“Seriously—who in the world is this contact? Do I know him—or her?” His sister only grinned secretively.

“Like I said, you will find out soon enough. For now, just sit tight—we are to arrive in about thirty minutes, I think.” Sighing, Nagisa turned to face the wall once more, many different thoughts going through his head. When one of them grabbed his attention, he turned back to his sister with questioning eyes.

“That inn—it looked like it could collapse anytime soon.” With the light of dawn, he had been able to see just how shabby the structure was, its wood stained and rotting with many holes, and spider webs hanging in every corner of the ceiling. His sister hummed in response.

“It hasn’t yet—and there is a bed for us to sleep in. That is good enough.” When Nagisa thought of how he himself had been sleeping in the palace all these months, his heart clenched slightly with guilt. With his marriage to Rei, the blonde had been certain that his sisters would take advantage of their connections to wealth and start a more comfortable life. Apparently, they had left their distant relative’s house since then—but it didn’t seem like their living conditions had improved by much. With a frown, Nagisa spoke.

“You didn’t ask Rei’s uncle for help.” To that statement, his sister said nothing. “You could have—I thought that was why I was—“ The boy bit his lip. “Why couldn’t you have just—“

Why couldn’t you have just thrown away your pride? He remembered the time at his wedding, when he had thought that the Hazuki pride had finally started to crumble—and his hand curled into a fist next to his thigh.

Had that been why his sisters had not tried to contact him much all these months? Because they had wanted to keep everything a secret—keep their situation a secret from their little brother? He had thought he was sacrificing his own happiness for his sisters’ sake—but all this time, he had been the one who was being protected. He felt so foolish for not having realized it all this time.

When he felt his sister’s hand on his cheek, Nagisa looked up.

“It wasn’t a question of pride, Nagi-chan.” His sister’s eyes were gentle as she looked at him. “To take advantage of people when they are genuinely trying to help you—it would not only have been selfish of us, but also cruel. And although we are bold, we are not cruel.” She reached up with her hand to stroke Nagisa’s hair as the boy bit his lip, as if trying not to cry. “And although there’s nothing wrong with asking for help, it’s also important to do what we know we can do ourselves. It was something that Mother always taught us—wasn’t it? And it wasn’t like we did not ask for help at all. We asked the elder where we might find work, and he has linked us with many new patrons. And we may just be starting out now, but we will get back on our feet soon enough.” Sniffing, Nagisa thought for a moment before speaking.

“Rei…he would have offered to help. I know he would have.” His sister tutted in response.

“Whether or not he returns your exact feelings, it was as plain as day how much he treasures you,” she replied, nudging Nagisa in the arm. “How could we take advantage of that honest man’s feelings? We are not like those court vixens that prey on men like him.” Hearing this comment, Nagisa bit his lip softly.

“…I thought that was what I was doing.” Thinking of Rei’s kind smile made his heart hurt. “In the beginning, at least…and then, I forgot all about that…” Next to Nagisa, his sister smiled gently.

“You know it’s really love, then.” She patted her brother on the head. “And if everything goes well, you will have all the time in the world to prove it. You said you would stand on your own someday—and now, you have the opportunity. So you don’t have to cling to the past—better to think of what you will do in the future. After all, no man’s past is ever perfect.” Slowly, Nagisa raised his head to look at his sister.

“…Did I ever tell you that you sound exactly like Mom sometimes?” he mumbled. Laughing, his sister ruffled his hair with her hand.

“That’s the best compliment I’ve heard you give me, Nagi-chan. Not that there were very many—you were always the name-caller in our family after all, a complete brat!” At this, Nagisa stuck out his tongue at his sister.

“I take it back—Mom was never so evil!” he retorted. “I must’ve been half-asleep just now, to compare you to her!” His sister just laughed some more.

“We Hazukis have our ways—if we choose to be, we can be completely angelic before others—or the opposite. And Mother was the same.” Nagisa’s sister smirked slightly. “You should have seen her winning arguments over Father—after that, you would not be able to claim the same thing, dear brother.” Letting out a hmph, Nagisa pulled away from his sister and turned to face the wall.

“Maybe the angelic part doesn’t exist for you, then!” Before he could continue, the blonde felt the carriage roll to a stop as a familiar voice spoke from outside.

“—Yes, I will be driving the carriage now. Thank you for the trouble, sir!” Nagisa’s eyes widened as he heard the voice, one he had heard within the palace during the past months.

“And there is our contact,” his sister murmured with a smile. “Sit tight, little brother—he’ll personally take us inside the palace himself!” Next to her, Nagisa’s mouth dropped open as the sound of the voice giddy-upping the camel could be heard from the front of the carriage.

-Ten Years Ago-

It was only after the sun had started to set in the sky that Nagisa approached Rei once again. Once the teen had calmed down and released him, the boy had skittered away somewhere with a look that Rei thought was somewhere between hurt and shocked on his face. Immediately, Rei had felt a twinge of guilt stab him in the heart—he had not meant to cry so hard in front of the child, who had been trying to cheer him up. Wondering if he had scared the boy away with his sudden actions, the teen was worrying over what he should do about the situation—when he felt a hand tug on the leg of his pants once more.

Looking up, he saw a resolute Nagisa staring up at him with determined-looking eyes. Under the reddish-orange light of the evening, the burgundy orbs glowed not unlike the flame in a lantern.

“Come with me, onii-chan!” Reaching up and tugging on Rei’s hand, the child smiled up at the older boy. “I have one last thing to show you!”

…

Nagisa’s small hand led Rei out once more to the Hazukis’ backyard. Once they got there, the blonde released Rei’s hand and stepped back, the corners of his small mouth curved up in a slightly shy smile.

“I know something that might cheer onii-chan up!” he said, rocking back and forth slightly on his heels. Surprised, Rei only blinked in response before Nagisa went on.

“Papa said that it always cheers him up when he sees Mama dancing! Although I’m not as good as Mama, or even my sisters yet—“ Laughing a little nervously, the child fidgeted with the shawl around his waist. “But I always have fun dancing—and it’s always more fun when the audience has fun too—“ Releasing the shawl, the boy smiled at Rei.

“So Onii-chan—smile! I’m sure you’ll look a lot prettier that way—and it might help you cheer up if you do!” At these words Rei flushed with surprise, staring at Nagisa with slightly widened eyes. So the boy had dragged him out here to cheer him up? After the un-beautiful, quite possibly disconcerting actions he had shown before?

“I…” Feeling a little touched, Rei was about to formulate a response—when he heard those small hands clapping out a rhythm, that cheerful voice humming the notes of a lively tune, those small heels tapping the ground with the beat. And then, before Rei’s eyes, Nagisa seemed to spring to life as he began to dance.

Being the son of nobility, Rei had seen many professional dancers give performances at parties and celebrations. He had seen their technique, the grace and agility with which they moved, and in the back of his mind he had always thought they were beautiful. But never had any of those dancers made Rei feel what this little blonde boy was making him feel now. Nagisa’s movements had none of the finesse or precision of those professional dancers—he was only a child, so it was to be expected. And yet…he moved so freely, with such a joyful smile on his face, his burgundy eyes glowing happily as his feet sprang around airliy, his arms swaying the air lightheartedly. Under the golden-orange light of the evening sky, the small boy looked as if he was a firefly dancing in the air, enveloped by an aura that made him glow in Rei’s eyes.

And that was when Rei thought he had found it—what there was left to protect in the world. To him, this joyful child seemed to represent all the hope that could be found in this world—hope for the present, and hope for the future. This was what his parents had been trying to protect—as he watched Nagisa dance in the small backyard that day, Rei thought that he finally understood. He continued to watch in captivation as the child moved happily, the tinkling laughter that spilled from his lips flowing through the air and seeping warmth into Rei’s heart. j

“Onii-chan!” The brunet snapped out of his trance when Nagisa suddenly turned on his heel and flashed a joyful grin at him. “Smile!” he chirped.

And Rei did. For the first time in weeks, when he thought he would never smile again, his lips curved up gently into a smile tinged with true joy and hope—one that made little Nagisa stop short in his turn and almost fall over. But before Rei could step forward in concern, the boy quickly regained balance and…was running towards Rei with full speed, his eyes shining.

“Oof!” Now it was Rei who nearly toppled over, as his arms instinctively reached out and caught Nagisa in his arms. The child’s arms and legs wrapped around the older boy’s torso as he clung tightly to Rei, his voice laughing with childish delight.

“Onii-chan! You finally smiled!” Hearing these words made Rei’s violet eyes take on a soft glow, as he looked down at the hope he held in his arms.

“Yes, I did.” Once again, his lips curved up into a soft smile. “Thank you.”

Thank you…Nagisa.

It was an hour after dinner at the Hazukis that Rei’s uncle came and told him they were leaving. Until then, Rei had been reading Nagisa more picture books out loud—the child had just fallen asleep on the older boy’s lap, his cheek nuzzled against Rei’s chest and his mouth snoring softly. Gorou’s eyes twinkled as he chuckled quietly at the sight.

“He sure has taken a liking to you, hasn’t he?” he said in an undertone, so he would not wake Nagisa. “Although I meant for you to make friends with Hazuki’s daughters, I see that you’ve gained a cute little brother instead.” In response, Rei smiled up at his uncle.

“Thank you, Uncle. For bringing me along with you.” Gorou’s eyes widened. “I had fun today.” Eventually, a toothy grin broke out on the man’s face.

“No problem, my dear nephew—no problem at all!” he replied enthusiastically—and only remembered to lower his voice when Rei hurriedly put a finger over his own lips.

“Hazuki said we could visit as many times as we wanted—but we’d best return home before it gets too dark. Wouldn’t want to overstay our welcome, would we?” He winked at Rei. “Best hand the little rascal over to his mother to tuck into bed—he sleeps soundly, just like his old man!” As he said this, Rei heard the sound of footsteps approaching—looking up, he saw that they were Nagisa’s parents. With a thankful smile at Rei, Nagisa’s mother quietly stepped forward and gingerly picked her son up with her arms. When she saw how the little boy clutched at Rei’s shirt before being removed from the teen’s lap, Mrs. Hazuki laughed quietly, her burgundy eyes looking back at Rei.

“You are welcome at our home any time, Rei-kun,” she murmured, with a smile that reminded Rei of Nagisa’s. “Thank you for keeping our son company.” Blushing slightly, Rei quickly dipped his head in a bow towards the woman.

“It…it was no trouble at all, ma’am. It…it is your son who kept me company.” At this response, the Hazukis exchanged looks before they smiled at each other. As Nagisa’s mother retreated into the bedroom with her son, Mr. Hazuki stepped forward towards Rei.

“There is a reason I asked your uncle to bring me here today, Rei-kun.” As curiosity crossed Rei’s eyes, the man reached into his robes and took out a long wooden case. The breath caught in his throat when he saw the name carved on the lid, and the teen stood up from the step he had been sitting on.

“That…that is my father’s name…” His questioning eyes swiveled back to the dark-haired man. “But how…”

“I used to know your father, back in my days as a youth,” Mr. Hazuki replied quietly. “He was an intelligent man, and a compassionate one—I regret that I lost touch with him in the middle of my travels.” As if sensing Rei’s silent anticipation, the man held the long wooden box out towards Rei.
“He entrusted me with this before I left—and I would like you to have it.” With a trembling hand, Rei took the box from Mr. Hazuki’s hands. It was light but at the same time felt heavy, as if it held all the weight in the world.

“Your father—I believe he never intended to make you follow in his footsteps. He always wished for you to find your own happiness—but I thought you would want to know what he was thinking, what he was working towards when he was alive. You are welcome to open it at home, if you would like.” Mr. Hazuki smiled at Rei.

“Your father has always been proud of you—and it was always evident how much he loved you. If nothing else—please remember that.” Reaching out, he put a hand on Rei’s shoulder. “It was a privilege, having known him in my life.” As he said this, Rei felt the corners of his eyes starting to water—ducking his head quickly, he bowed towards Mr. Hazuki, responding in a choked voice.

“Thank you.” Although his voice was shaky, his words were sincere and heartfelt. “Thank you so much, sir.” The man’s eyes glowed with compassion as he looked at Rei.

“You are welcome here anytime. If you would like to talk about your father—or for any other reason.” With a last smile at Rei, Mr. Hazuki nodded towards Gorou. “Your uncle knows where to find us.” At that, the goldenrod-haired man smiled back, with a grateful look in his eyes.

“I’ll bring him over often—your youngest seems to have taken a shine to him. Can’t let the boy down after all!” Remembering Nagisa, Rei opened his mouth.

“Sir…may I…may I see him once more? Before I leave?”

…

He pushed the door open as quietly as he could, and crept into the room. On the straw mattress in the corner lay Nagisa, curled up under a blanket and fast asleep. Sitting down on the floor next to the mattress, Rei reached out and carefully stroked the boy’s blonde locks. In his sleep, the child leaned his head into Rei’s palms, as if finding comfort in those long, pale fingers threading through his hair.

“…read me the next one….onii-chan….” As Nagisa happily murmured these words in his sleep, an affectionate smile settled on Rei’s lips. In a quiet voice, he murmured back an answer.

“It’s ‘Rei’,” he said. “You can just remember that—that would be perfectly fine.”

“…Rei…nii…cha…” Rei blinked when Nagisa responded to him in his sleep. “Smile…onii…cha…” And once again, Rei smiled.

“I will.” Giving the child a last pat on the head, Rei stood up quietly and left the room, the smile still remaining on his face.

When he arrived home, Rei went to his uncle’s study and opened the box there. Inside were several rolls of parchment—letters, documents, diagrams, and papers. It was through these contents that Rei learned more than he had ever known about his father—that he had used to be a soldier in the royal army as a youth, that he had seen how the army oppressed the people of Iwatobi under the Sultan’s authoritarian rule and had quit his post, that he had been petitioning against the Sultan’s policies and had been writing treatises on different forms of government, along with papers on how to better the kingdom’s economy through education and the development of technology, ever since he was a youth.

The letters that his father had written to Mr. Hazuki held similar ideas, as well as details of his personal life—how he had met his wife, how she had given birth to Rei fourteen years ago, how his son was growing up over the years. Just from the words that had been used in the letter, Rei could sense that his father had loved him and his mother—and although seeing his father’s handwriting had brought tears to his eyes, it had also brought a quiet smile to his face.

When he saw his uncle at breakfast the next day, Rei had been the first to initiate conversation, bringing up his father and asking what he had been like in the past. Pleasantly surprised, Gorou had launched into a series of animated stories about his cousin, and Rei had laughed as he listened, eating more during the meal than he had in weeks.

A week afterwards, Rei met Mikoshiba Seijuurou, a guard in the royal army who had also known his parents in the past. He had been invited by Rei’s uncle for dinner, but once Rei showed up in the dining room, the orange-haired man abandoned his seat and knelt before the teen with his forehead touching the floor, apologizing for the fact that his men had been incompetent in dealing with the civilian riots, that it was his fault his parents had died. And although Rei had not known at first how to respond, seeing the guard kneeling before him sparked the beginnings of both a determination and a plan in his mind. Stepping forward, Rei had asked how he could join the royal army—and a year of hard physical training and studying later, he became a soldier serving under the Sultan. Over these years, he became taller, more muscular, and much tanner—and thanks to the long nights of studying that he put in along with his physical training and duties, Rei also gained glasses, silver spectacles that were a birthday gift from his uncle.

In the same year he joined the royal army, Rei also saw Gorou get married to his aunt, a lovely brown-haired woman with a slightly quirky philosophy and a kind smile whom his uncle had met at one of the Sultan’s balls. Rei had attended the wedding in his soldier’s uniform, and when he arrived his uncle had smacked him on the back jovially with a proud look on his face. Although he had left Gorou’s house to work at the palace, Rei visited the mansion often to see his uncle and aunt. Over the years, the brunet grew to think of them as parents, just as much as they thought of Rei as their own son.

It was during his third year of working as a royal guard that Rei met the crown prince. In the beginning, Rin had sought him out first—the fourteen-year-old redhead had told him that he had known Rei’s parents, said with a grin that he had liked them and Rei would do well to ‘get in with his favor’ as well. In the beginning, Rei had not known that the prince was offering to cooperate together, to combine their strengths to change the state of the kingdom—thinking that Rin took after his despotic father in his haughtiness, the brunet had bristled, and even when the misunderstanding was cleared, their personalities had initially clashed for some time.

But eventually, as Rei discovered that the prince shared his intelligence and the same ideals for the future of the kingdom, they became good friends. When the previous Sultan died and Rin stepped onto the throne, Rei worked hard to support the fifteen-year old ruler, both through his activities as a royal guard and by being one of Rin’s closest advisors on matters concerning the kingdom. He also became a second older-brother figure to Princess Gou, keeping an eye on her for her brother and seeing to it that she got no trouble from overly zealous courters within the palace. Although he and Rin argued about many things, the ‘safety’ of the red-haired princess was one thing they always saw eye-to-eye on.

And Nagisa…a few weeks after his initial visit to the Hazukis, Rei had asked his uncle whether it would be all right to pay the family another visit. But when he asked this question, his uncle’s expression had grown slightly grave—and he had told Rei that the Hazukis went into hiding, that he was not aware of where they might be at the moment. But he had reassured Rei that they were doing fine, that he was still getting messages from his old friend.

It was about a year later that his uncle came home with a telegram clenched in his fist and red-rimmed eyes, and had informed Rei that Nagisa’s parents had died in a fire, leaving their four children behind in the world. It had made Rei feel terrible—he was all too aware of what the pain of losing one’s parents felt like. It had taken a whole year for Gorou to track the Hazuki siblings down, and once he had, the Hazuki sisters had refused the man’s help, insisting that they had gotten back on their feet and would support themselves and their brother. Although it had eaten at Rei’s heart that he could not help the siblings somehow, he had taken comfort in finally seeing Nagisa again—not face to face, as it seemed the Hazuki sisters seemed to be against meeting his uncle, and probably himself as well in relation, but on the streets that he patrolled throughout the kingdom. Although the blonde had seemed sad, it relieved Rei greatly to see that he had not lost his smile for good—and from then on, he had kept watching over Nagisa from a distance during the years, making sure that he was healthy and seemed reasonably well.

When he realized he had fallen in love with the blonde somewhere along the way, it had taken Rei some time to accept the truth. He had mulled over the issue helplessly for days—he had always held Nagisa dear in his heart, as the little boy who had given him hope and brought the warmth back into his life, long ago. Never had he expected to develop romantic feelings for the boy he had always seen as somewhat of a little brother, could have been a friend perhaps—who Rei had seen growing up since his childhood days. They were seven years apart—and Rei had not even approached Nagisa once since his first visit to the Hazukis—how could he have fallen in love with the boy? It made no sense, should not have made any sense—and he had spent over a year denying his feelings, while still watching over the cheerful boy as he blossomed into an attractive youth.

And then, there had come the point where Rei could no longer deny his feelings. Once, he had been invited to the party of a powerful old merchant family, by relation to his uncle, and he had walked into the mansion’s dining hall to see none other than Nagisa and his sisters dancing on the hall floor. Used to hiding himself on the streets during his patrols, Rei had out of habit hidden himself from the Hazuki siblings, his eyes secretly following Nagisa as the he performed, and even after the performance was over.

Catching himself in the act, Rei had forced himself to exit the dining hall for a breather—but then had overheard a man’s voice saying that he would take Nagisa as his concubine ‘by all means necessary’. Instantly, his throat had gone dry, and Rei had recognized the owner of the voice—he was the son of the merchant who had hosted the party, a man lacking in morals and kindness who were persistent with both men and women that attracted his attention, forced his advances on them despite already having a wife and children, and beat not only his servants but his own family. Without a doubt, Rei knew what Nagisa’s fate would be, if he was taken as this man’s concubine—and it had made his blood chill, because he knew that with the backing of the man’s family, it was not at all impossible for the blonde to end up as the man’s concubine.

It was then that Rei realized it. He loved Nagisa—not as a friend, or an older brother, but as a man. He could not let Nagisa be taken away by that unscrupulous merchant. He would not. And with the last thought the beginnings of a plan crossed his head—a way that he could still prevent this horrible fate, could protect the boy as he had sworn to do ten years ago. And only a week later, Rei found himself on his knees before the Hazuki sisters, begging them to allow him to protect Nagisa, promising that he would release their brother once he knew that the boy would be safe.

-Ten Years Later, In the Present-

“Onii-chan! Smile!”

All through that night Rei could not sleep. Whenever his mind replayed the image of Nagisa in tears over and over, his heart ached and he was jerked away even further from a state of slumber.

It didn’t occur to him back in the evening—he had only thought about revealing the truth to Nagisa and setting him free. He had not thought of the possibility that Nagisa might be hurt by the truth—that Rei had in effect deceived him all this time, kept from him the true purpose of their marriage. They had grown close over these months, and Rei dared to think that Nagisa at least had grown to see him as a friend—of course he would feel betrayed. He could not have known about the truth behind their marriage, had probably gone through much distress and self-compromise in order to accept what he thought was reality. Sighing quietly, the man closed his eyes and rubbed his temple tiredly with his hand.

Months ago, he had only thought of saving Nagisa from that corrupt merchant. He had not thought about what the end consequences of the situation might be. And as he sat on his bed and thought of Nagisa ripping their marriage certificate in half, Rei wished that he had thought more about the situation before going through with his decision.

What a fool I’ve been. Thinking I was protecting him. As he thought this, his eyes took on a somber look. I should have searched for another way…I could have…I… His hand clenched the vest that hung above his chest.

The memory of a little blonde boy with a bright smile and tinkling laughter rose to his mind. Rei’s eyes grew far away as he thought of the past, when they had first met each other as children. Nagisa had not seemed to remember—or if he did, he had not seemed to recognize Rei from that time. And it was understandable—they had only met once, ten years ago, and the boy had only been seven—Rei had not expected him to remember.

He himself had been fourteen, a pale youth with sad eyes and few words who had just lost his parents in the civilian riots. It was thanks to meeting seven-year-old Nagisa that he had started to think that he could still find hope in the world. It didn’t matter that Nagisa himself didn’t remember—Rei had wanted to protect his happiness. All he had wanted was to preserve that bright smile—because to him, Nagisa was a precious person who deserved the world.

He wished that he had never fallen in love with Nagisa. Because he realized it now—that was the point when he had started to grow selfish. Perhaps that was when he had no longer been satisfied with just watching over the boy—perhaps that was what had caused him to approach Nagisa’s sisters in the first place. And despite all the promises he had made them, Rei knew—he had wanted to keep Nagisa by his side, had not wanted to let him go.

But in the end, guilt had gotten the better of him. Even if he had hurt him in the process, Rei had let the blonde go. All he could hope for now was that Nagisa would find happiness for himself—even if Rei wasn’t included in that happiness.

Just as he was thinking this, a knock sounded on the door of his bedroom. Rei blinked—wondering who was asking to enter at this early hour, he opened his mouth.

“Come in!” With his call, the door opened and Nitori entered with a lantern in one hand and a slip of parchment in the other. He smiled understandingly at Rei, as if he already knew the whole situation at hand.

“You are still awake at this hour, Your Honor. You do not look well.” At this, Rei smiled back weakly.

“I…have not been able to sleep well. But it’s nothing serious—I will try to get at least a few hours of rest in before my duties. Did you have something you needed to tell me?”

“It is Nagisa-sama, Your Honor. He has asked to see you. He said you would know where to find him.” At this notice, Rei immediately straightened up in bed, his posture anxious but a flash of hope traveling across his eyes.

“Nagisa—he asked to see me?” he repeated hesitantly. Nitori nodded.

“Actually, Your Honor—I saw him leaving the palace last night,” he said softly. At this, the color drained from Rei’s face as he turned pale with worry—the kingdom was a dangerous place to roam about at night. As if reading his thoughts, the grey-haired servant quickly added, “He went to see his sisters, Your Honor. And he has returned safely—so please do not worry.” From Rei’s balcony, the sound of a dove cooing could be heard, along with the flapping of wings. Although Rei’s shoulders relaxed with relief, the man’s face soon fell into a somber expression, as his eyes dropped towards his hands. The thought of the blonde calling him out to end things for good pained him—but Rei knew he had to face Nagisa’s feelings, even if they were anger or even hate towards him.

“…I see. I shall go see him immediately.” He was about to rise from the bed when Nitori spoke again.

“Also…I have something to show you, Your Honor.” Here the servant unrolled the piece of parchment he had been holding—which turned out to be many pieces of parchment that had been rolled together. The majority of them looked as if they had been crumpled and smoothed out again.

“I was cleaning in the study the other day and found these under the desk.” Walking across the room, Nitori handed them to a puzzled Rei. “I thought about throwing them away, but…I thought you might be interested in seeing them.” Bowing his head, the servant said, “I wish you the best of luck, Your Honor.” As he retreated and left the room, Rei looked down at the piece of parchment that was at the front.

Immediately, he recognized the clumsily written letters of Nagisa’s handwriting. The first line read:

Dear Rei,

I have something to tell you. I have kept it hidden for a very long time but I

That was all that Rei could make out. The next few phrases had been scribbled over with a frustrated scrawl over and over, as if the boy had been searching for the right words to write without much success. Carefully, Rei set the parchment down on the bed and picked up the next one. It started out the same as the first page.

Dear Rei,

I know that this letter might surprise you, but I thought I should

Again, the rest of the words were crossed out. His curiosity now growing, Rei went on to the next piece of parchment. And the next. And the next.

Dear Rei,

I don’t know how to say this properly, but I

I only realized it a few weeks ago, but for you I

Why is it so hard to say this? When I think of your face i

I have never had anyone like you in my life before

I know that I’m probably not what you were looking for, but still, please give me a chance

To be honest, I’m scared of your reaction. But still I

What I’m trying to say is that I

With each letter that was written and crossed out, Rei’s heart started to thump more quickly in his chest. He did not realize that he had been holding his breath until his hands held the last piece of parchment. On it the same three words were printed and crossed out over and over again.

Rei,

I love you

I love you

I love you

I love you

I love you

At the end of the page, in the neatest handwriting that Rei had ever seen from Nagisa, the three words stared the brunet in the face.

I love you.

Suddenly, Rei remembered one afternoon, when he had been teaching Nagisa how to write his letters. He had been lecturing Nagisa on the importance of good calligraphy skills.

‘While the content is also important, the elegance of beautifully written words always makes it a pleasure for the scholar to read!’

‘Ehh~~? But it’s so hard to write neatly, Rei! I’m just barely remembering what each character looks like as it is!’

‘It will come along with practice, Nagisa. For the meantime, you should not abandon your efforts! The satisfaction one can get from writing each letter with the perfectly matched x-height cannot be described—‘

He felt the breath stick in his throat as he stared down at the piece of parchment. At the three words written carefully at the bottom of the page. Suddenly, he felt more foolish than he had ever felt in his life.

To Rei, Nagisa’s handwriting was the most beautiful in the world, neat or messy. To Rei, Nagisa was the most beautiful person in the world. And he had made that person cry.

Getting up from his bed, Rei carefully tucked the piece of parchment into his vest. Then, he bolted out of his bedroom, his heartbeat quickening with each step, letting them take him closer to the person he loved.

He waited in the small courtyard within the palace, surrounded by flowers and ivory pillars and the rosy light of dawn that colored the sky. One hand was clutching the edge of the shawl around his waist—the other rested on the bronze key that hung around his neck. When he left the palace, he had not even realized that he still had it on. Now, Nagisa found comfort in the coolness of the metal against his collarbone—his fingers closed around the key as he waited, heart thumping nervously in his chest. He had started to rock back and forth on his heels when he heard the sound of some bushes rustling behind him.

“Ah—!” Started, he flailed his arms wildly as he lost balance and fell backwards—

And felt a pair of strong arms catch him from behind. Startled, the blonde looked up to see who his savior was, and saw a shock of dark blue hair and the flash of silver spectacles.

“Rei!” His voice came out in a surprised squeak as he immediately flushed pink. He had not expected the man to appear from behind him—flustered, he yelped out a “Sorry!” as he tried to step forward out of Rei’s arms—

When he felt them tighten around his waist, Nagisa froze, his pink face quickly turning scarlet. His heart beat furiously in his chest as he felt Rei bury his face in his hair. Amidst the pounding of his ears, he heard Rei take a deep breath inwards, before the brunet spoke.

“Please don’t leave.” His voice held a slight tremor to its end, something that Nagisa had never heard before. “I know you didn’t come to me because you wanted to. I know you envisioned a different future for yourself. But please—give me a chance. Please look at me.” Nagisa’s eyes widened as Rei said his next words.

“I love you, Nagisa. I have loved you for a long time.” Rei’s hold around Nagisa tightened as the brunet buried his face deeper into the blonde’s hair. “Let me become part of your happiness…please.”

His hands were shaking against Nagisa’s sides. Nagisa had only ever seen them being steady, firmly gripping the bayonet on duty, gracefully using the silverware during meals, posing his quill over parchment as he wrote down neat and fluid rows of notes on them. And yet, they were trembling now. As Nagisa felt tear well up in his eyes, he thought that they were the most beautiful hands he had ever seen. He reached down and placed one of his hands over Rei’s, his lips quivering as he opened his mouth.

“I’m a lot younger than you, you know?” he said, voice small. “I’m going to be childish—I’ll dance around laughing when I’m happy—I’ll throw temper tantrums when I’m mad and storm out like before—and I’ll be a crybaby when I’m sad.” He took a deep breath. “I’ll be selfish sometimes—and I’ll probably end up hurting you again. I’m not good at studying or writing—I’m not tidy or elegant or sophisticated or mature. I’m loud and can’t sit still and I’ll probably be a messy eater no matter how hard I try not to be. And…I’ll keep getting jealous of all those stupid courtesans who keep flirting with you.” He bit his lip as his cheeks flushed slightly. “Will you be all right with someone like that?”

“…More than all right.” As Rei spoke, he lifted his hand from Nagisa’s waist and took the boy’s overlapped hand in his own. “I love all those things about you—and I will continue to do so, as long as I live.” Hearing this, Nagisa turned around, his mouth falling open in the midst of swallowing back his tears.

“You love me because I’m much younger than you?” he asked, appalled. At the implication of his words, Rei flushed a bright red.

“That is not how I meant those words at all!!” he yelped in response, the blush spreading to his ears. “I simply meant that I care for you exactly as you are!” In the moment of his embarrassment, Rei pushed up his glasses in an attempt to hide his flaming face. “Please do not make me into a man without any sense of morals!” At this, Nagisa frowned, lips pouting slightly.

“You mean you thought marrying me was immoral?” At this question, Rei’s face turned an even darker shade of red as he sputtered out a flustered response.

“What in the—that isn’t what I said at all!” He was wringing his hands in exasperation when Nagisa spoke again.

“You’re so cruel.” His burgundy gaze was reproachful as they looked at Rei, who gaped back at him with shock. “You led me on all these months, being all kind and dorky and adorable and gentlemanly in front of me, when you were just going to make me leave—how could you do such a thing to me?” At that Rei could only gape soundlessly for a few seconds before he recollected his mind.

“That is—I thought—I only wanted you to be happy!” he sputtered helplessly. Before he could continue, Nagisa barreled on.

“And you even made a deal with my sisters behind my back! I mean, so you wanted to stop that perverted merchant from making me his concubine, but why couldn’t you have gone about it a different way?!” The boy’s pout deepened as he crossed his arms. “You could have started out by approaching me yourself and courting me! Then things wouldn’t have gotten this complicated!” At this suggestion, Rei’s face flushed once more.

“N-Nagisa—! That is—all I could see was that that merchant was getting more persistent every day!” he protested. “There was no time—and all I wanted to do was protect you! I—I didn’t feel as if that was the appropriate time to—to impose my affections on—“ He stopped short when Nagisa placed one of his palms over Rei’s lips.

“Admit it.” Suddenly, the boy’s face was closer to Rei’s, his eyes still looking peeved but his cheeks tinged pink. “You were scared to try and court me, weren’t you? That’s why you cheated and went along with the pretense of an arranged marriage instead!” He felt his heart flutter with pleasure when he could feel Rei’s face turning even hotter under his hand. Pulling away, Rei replied with a flustered voice.

“I—I was not—I would not have done such a cowardly thing as to—I just…!” When Nagisa aimed his peeved eyes straight at Rei’s, the man finally broke down, burying his burning face in one hand. “…I did…enjoy…spending these months with you…but, but that was…not part of my original…intention…” His voice grew smaller with each word as the flush spread to his ears once more. “…Please stop looking at me with those eyes!” he finally stuttered out, averting his violet ones away. Seeing Rei so flustered made Nagisa’s heart flutter, and he reached out to gently grab the man’s hand in his own.

“You could have tried to court me, you know,” he repeated softly. “You could have won me over.” At the touch, Rei turned his violet eyes towards Nagisa once more, cheeks still flushed.

“It was not the right time. And you did not know me—I would have been a stranger showing up out of the blue.” He sighed as he ducked his head in embarrassment. “And I am much older than you—I did not want to come off as a perverted old man, not when I wished to save you from one.” At this, Nagisa frowned.

“You really are conscious of our age difference, aren’t you?” he pointed out, much to Rei’s chagrin. “Ours is not the worst of them—there’s plenty of old men these days who take girls—or boys—half their age to be their spouses.” At this comparison, Rei choked on his breath and started to cough violently.

“Please—cough cough—refrain from comparing me—cough cough—to those men—cough cough!”

“Is that why you didn’t tell me? That we met once before, ten years ago?” Looking up with surprise, Rei’s eyes widened as they landed on Nagisa.

“—You remembered?” The boy nodded.

“Not on my own,” he admitted, a little guiltily. “My sisters told me—when I snuck out of the palace to see them last night.” Seeing Rei’s brow furrow as if he was about to launch into a lecture on the dangers of going outside at night, Nagisa hastily continued. “And when I was trying to sleep last night—I started remembering some parts of that day.” His hold on Rei’s hand tightened slightly. “You looked really sad when you visited us—and in the beginning, you would hardly say a word. I remember myself wishing that you would cheer up.” Taking in Nagisa’s somber face, Rei smiled down at him with quiet affection in his eyes.

“It was a short time after my parents died that I visited your house with my uncle. He said he was visiting an old friend of his, and wanted me to come along and pay my respects—but inside, I think he wanted to cheer me up by introducing me to some children around my age to make friends with. Namely, your sisters—I believe your eldest sister and I are the same age?” he asked, and Nagisa’s brow furrowed slightly as he began to pout. His eyes twinkling, Rei continued with a humorous touch to his voice. “But neither he—nor I—expected a little boy to be part of that equation. As it turned out, we were both in for quite a surprise.” At this, Nagisa let out a slight huff as he let go of Rei’s hand and crossed his arms.

“Well, you’re lucky that I took to you first! My sisters were absolutely vicious even back then—they would have teased you to an early grave!” Laughing, Rei responded in a teasing voice.

“Well, I wager you would have tackled me to an early grave—or talked my ear off to it. Or both. You were very, ahem, energetic as a child. That is one thing about you that hasn’t changed.” At this, Nagisa’s pout deepened.

“Well, you said you love that part about me, didn’t you?” As he said this, his puffed-out cheeks flushed. “So deal with it!” Caught off guard, Rei returned the blush tenfold as he coughed to change the subject.

“A-anyhow…to be honest, I did not quite know what to do with you at first.” His eyes glowed with nostalgia as he remembered the little boy from his past. “I was an only child, and I had never interacted much with younger children before—and I was not used to being, ahem, followed around and spoken to so persistently.” Nagisa blushed as he remembered how his younger self had taken to Rei—he recalled seeing the teen’s face and somehow sensing that he was beautiful, in a way that he had never before seen in others.

“But before I knew it, you were dragging me everywhere—saying that you would show me your favorite places in the neighborhood…that you wished to play with me…” The edges of Rei’s expression melted with even more affection, which made Nagisa want to hide in a hole as he fidgeted. “I remember first seeing you dance. It was not perfectly skilled or elegant—but you looked so joyous and light-stepped and free…it touched my heart in a way that no professional dancer could have.” He reached out and stroked Nagisa’s hair, making the blonde shiver slightly in pleasure. “And to this day, your dancing has the same effect on me. It changed my world then, and it changes my world now, every time.” At this confession, Nagisa’s heart fluttered once more, an even brighter flush blooming on his cheeks.

“…Then why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, feeling shy before Rei. “I could have remembered so much earlier…”

“…Given the situation, I did not want to tell you,” Rei admitted quietly. “I felt that by reminding you of the past, I would be trying to bind you with it. And although I may have been tempted to…I could not. I thought that it would be best for you to see me as a stranger—and forget me as one, when the time came to let you leave.”

So his sisters’ predictions had been right. Feeling a little frustrated, Nagisa reached out and grabbed Rei’s vest tightly with one hand. Stubbornly looking at the ground, he muttered,

“You keep too many secrets, old man.” Hearing the last two words made Rei sputter in indignation.

“’Old ma’—Nagisa—!”

“I love you.” The blonde’s soft voice stopped Rei in mid-protest. As the brunet looked down at Nagisa with wide violet eyes, he continued his words, looking anywhere but Rei, his cheeks coloring redder. “I’m sorry for hurting you—for tearing up the marriage certificate and storming out. I…I was planning to tell you how I feel for days…and I was going to tell you when I showed up at the study yesterday. So when you…told me the truth, I reacted badly.”

“…Nagisa…” Rei’s voice was tinged heavily with apology. “I…I did not know. I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s fine. I should have told you earlier…I just, I was feeling nervous…so I ended up delaying and delaying it, until then. And you didn’t know I was about to confess, so it isn’t your fault.” Gathering courage, Nagisa finally looked up at Rei with hope in his eyes.

“Now that all the misunderstandings and confusion are behind us—will you give me another chance too?” As he asked the question, he released Rei’s vest and took his hand in his own. “You keep saying you want me to be happy—but I want to make you happy too.” He looked up at Rei, his burgundy eyes shining beneath blonde lashes, his cheeks glowing and his lips curved up in a smile that took Rei’s breath away. “Would you let me stay by your si—“

His eyes shot wide open when a pair of slightly chapped lips cut off his words, sealing his own lips shut. At the same time, he felt an arm wrap around his waist and tug him close to a firm body, his cheek being caressed by a calloused hand as Rei kissed him. At once, he felt a series of warm flutters travel through his body and his heart beginning to beat with a happy rhythm. Eyes fluttering shut, Nagisa wrapped his arms around Rei’s neck and kissed him back, melting into the warmth of the man he loved.

It was then that he realized, with happiness, that one of the dreams that he had thought were futile had been attained. When they finally broke apart, they held each others’ gaze at a close distance, their noses touching and their lashes almost seeming to brush against each other’s, their lips slightly apart and catching breath.

“Yes,” Rei whispered happily. “Of course…!”

It was then that Nagisa’s face broke into a radiant smile. Without warning he threw himself at Rei, knocking him down onto the nearby grass, his arms wrapping around the man’s torso in a hug.

“Rei…! Rei…Rei…Rei…!” Laughing and crying at the same time, the boy squeezed Rei tightly as the man immediately began turning red, struggling under Nagisa’s weight.

“Nagisa—I can’t breathe—this is highly inappropri—please get off me!” Ignoring his protests, Nagisa held Rei even tighter, delighting in the flustered reaction that it was getting out of the man who was seven years older, who could kiss him without warning one moment and be completely flustered the next. As he lay sprawled on the grass with Rei, Nagisa wondered, in the back of his mind, if this was the kind of happiness that his parents had felt when they had found each other.

But if there was one thing he knew for sure, he decided, it was that there was no comparison to the happiness he was feeling right now, here by Rei’s side.

Chapter Text

“Rei. Can I ask you something?”

It was night, and they were sitting together on the balcony of Rei’s bedroom. The stars were out and shining in the sky, and their light was reflected in Nagisa’s eyes as he looked up at them, with his head nestled against Rei’s shoulder. Next to their knees, their hands were cradled together, with their fingers intertwined.

“What is it, Nagisa?” As Rei squeezed his hand, Nagisa smiled.

“You said that you were already in love with me before you came and asked for my hand—but since when? It wasn’t from that day ten years ago, was it?” Rei raised a brow.

“Nagisa. I always held you dear in my heart, but I did not hold romantic feelings for you when you were merely seven—just what would that make my character?”

“Hmm…a shota-con?”

“Nagisa!!” Hearing Rei’s flustered response, Nagisa giggled playfully against the man’s shoulder.

“I’m just joking! …But really, when did it start…?” Lifting his head, the boy turned towards Rei with his burgundy eyes full of curiosity. “Or actually, how did it start, even? I’m positive that I didn’t meet you once between ten years ago and our wedding—“ He could see Rei’s eyes growing a little shifty as he turned his head away slightly.

“…I…I did…watch over you during the years.” At this reluctant admittance, Nagisa’s eyes grew wide.

“…Eh?! You did?! When—actually, how?! I never even noticed you were stalking me—“ he babbled excitedly—the last claim to which the older man balked, as he nearly choked in embarrassment.

“Nagisa!! I was most certainly not stalking you!!” Coughing to recollect himself, Rei continued.

“You do recall that I started working at the palace when I was fifteen? My work as a royal guard began in that year, and throughout the next several years I patrolled many of Iwatobi’s streets on my shifts. And while on duty, I was…able to catch glimpses of you quite often.” Puzzled at the revelation, Nagisa sat up a little.

“Wait—How come you never came and said hello to me then?” he asked. “And how come I never noticed you? If I’d seen a fine-looking guard like you around, I’m sure I’d have noticed!”

“…Thank you.” Ears flushing at the compliment, Rei coughed again and readjusted his glasses. “As a guard, I was trained to stay out of sight unless there seemed to be trouble, so that is what I did. And besides…” His tone turned hesitant. “Did you not…dislike palace guards back then?” These words and what Nitori had mentioned in the past clicked in Nagisa’s head.

“—Ahhhh, ah! But that was before I met you, Rei! And besides, the only palace guards I knew in the past used to harass me on the streets all the time, so that’s why I had a bad impression back then!” Hearing the last comment, Rei’s eyes darkened.

“…Speaking of those guards, what did they look like, Nagisa? …Have you seen any of them around the palace?” he asked casually.

“Huh? Nope, don’t think I’ve ever seen them since I came to live here—“ Nagisa blinked. “Wait. You’re not thinking of tracking them down and punishing them, are you?” At his question, Rei only hummed a little too casually in response, his hold on Nagisa’s hand tightening slightly. “…Rei? Why are you averting your eyes…?”

“…It is nothing…Actually, they can be punished by the law for harassing the kingdom’s citizens. I believe the penalty was ten years of incarceration and hard labor—“ Sensing how the man was fighting to maintain composure in his voice, Nagisa laughed and nudged Rei with his elbow.

“You’re getting that furrow between your brows, Rei. Calm down! It was a long time ago, and I kicked them in the balls and ran away all the time, anyways! And besides, now I have you with me, so there’s no need to worry!” he added cheerfully, making the guard blush.

“…You certainly are resourceful,” Rei replied eventually. “But if you ever see them again, tell me right away, all right?” Nagisa nodded with a smile in return.

“Okay! Anyways, Rei—just when did it start? Continue on with the story!” he prompted. Flushing some more, Rei cleared his throat.

“…All right. Well, I am not sure if this was when I actually started to…but I suppose it was something like a turning point…in how I saw you.” On a sudden whim, Nagisa cut in with a question.

“How old was I, Rei?” he asked, making sure that he had his most innocent look on his face. As if on cue, Rei chocked on his spit and started coughing. He wheezed slightly before finally calming down, an apprehensive look on his face.

“Eh?! Wh-why do you ask that, Nagisa…?” Hearing the man’s voice falter, Nagisa’s smile widened.

“Just answer me, Rei!” he insisted. “How old was I?” Unable to resist the boy’s doe-eyed stare, Rei helplessly responded.

“…Well, based on the fact that your birthday that year had not passed yet…as you were born in August and this event happened around June—“ Sensing that the man was stalling for time, Nagisa pouted as he whined,

“Re~i~~!!” The brunet then threw his hands up in the air, as if in defeat.

“All right, all right! When it happened, I believe you were…fifteen.” Rei’s voice grew smaller as he reached the end of his sentence. ‘Fifteen’—so it had been around a whole two years ago, Nagisa thought with glee. Almost too happily, the boy nestled himself closer against Rei’s side as he looked up at the man.

“Hm~? Fifteen, huh~?” As if he thought he was being teased, Rei stiffened slightly as he quickly responded.

“Na-Nagisa!! Please don’t stare at me like that!! …I knew it, I should not have told you—“ In despair, Rei clutched his head and threw it back dramatically. “I am a disgrace, an insult to the morals of human society—“ Half-startled and half-amused, Nagisa placed a comforting hand on Rei’s shoulder.

“Rei, Rei! Calm down! It’s fine, boys and girls aged fifteen get married all the time in our kingdom, you know it!” he chirped. “Sometimes even younger—and back when I was fifteen, you must’ve only been twenty-two, righ—“

“Please don’t say it out loud!!” the man wailed, before plopping his face down between his knees. Next to him, Nagisa raised a brow.

“…Rei, there’s no really need to bury your face in your knees, you know. You’re starting to make me feel bad.” At this, Rei raised his head slightly in apology.

“…I’m sorry.” Shaking his head, Nagisa smiled encouragingly at Rei.

“It’s all right. So…what happened when I was fifteen?” he asked. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath until Rei finally answered.

“…You were in an empty plot of land within the marketplace. I was patrolling nearby, and I saw you teaching a few little children how to dance.” At this description, Nagisa’s eyes lit up in memory.

“Ah! That must’ve been when I was still giving the kids in the neighborhood lessons!” he said.

“Hm. I see.” Eyes twinkling, Nagisa looked at Rei expectantly.

“So? What was it about me teaching the children? Did you start thinking I’d be a good father or something like that, hm~?” he asked flirtatiously. Turning slightly to hide his blush, Rei let out a soft snort.

“…Actually, Nagisa, you were pinching the cheeks of one of the children when I saw you. You looked quite peeved with the child when I saw your expression.” It took a while for Nagisa to remember the child Rei was talking about.

“…Oh. Well, that kid was a brat. I think I remember his face…” Amused, Rei raised a brow in the boy’s direction.

“Nagisa. You are not getting angry at a child from two years ago, are you?” This time, it was the older man’s voice that sounded teasing. In response, Nagisa whistled innocently.

“Hm? I have no idea what you’re talking about, Rei—of course I wouldn’t get mad at a little kid!” He was trying his best to sound sincere—that was what he told himself, as he plopped his head back against Rei’s shoulder to avoid the man’s eyes.

“…Right.” Voice still sounding amused, Rei went on.

“So, as I was saying—you were pinching that child’s cheeks. And that was when there was a commotion in the marketplace. There was a bandit—he suddenly appeared with a knife and stole one of the gold vases from one of the wares merchants’ stalls. And then, I saw you…grabbing an apple off another merchant’s stall and running after him.” Nagisa blinked as he recalled the event from the past.

“…Oh yeah! That happened—I remember now! Though I had no idea you were around then!” the boy added, peering at Rei. “At least, I don’t remember seeing you around!” The brunet cleared his throat.

“As I said, I was trained to stay hidden—well, until a commotion happened,” Rei explained. “When the bandit started running, I started to chase after him—but you had started to chase after him before me, so you probably did not notice me behind you.” At this revelation, Nagisa’s eyes grew round with surprise.

“Ah—so it was actually a three-man chase, huh? I had no idea!” he said.

“Indeed—you were quite occupied with going after the man at the time,” Rei recalled. “I remember that you ran after that bandit until you both reached an abandoned square. And you threw the apple at the bandit. It hit him on the head and he fell unconscious. After that, you took the gold vase away from him and the knife, and you threw the knife into the sewer. Then you…slapped him awake with your hands.” Coughing slightly, the brunet went on. “Once he tried to take the golden vase from you, you, er, kicked him in the groin. And he crumpled to the ground again.” Feigning confusion, Nagisa blinked up at Rei with wide eyes.

“Are you sure you’re remembering this right, Rei? I’m sure there was supposed to be a thrillingly dangerous fight with the bandit’s knife and my prowess with hand-to-hand combat—“

“Oh hush, Nagisa.” Letting out a good-natured snort of laughter, Rei nudged Nagisa in the side affectionately. “Anyhow, I saw you pick up the apple and hand it to him. And I heard you tell him that if he was hungry, he could have the apple instead. After you picked up the vase and left the square, that bandit started crying.”

“…Rei, are you sure this is the right story?” Nagisa asked finally, still feigning ignorance. “You make it sound like I was bullying that bandit!” He wasn’t exactly sure how the situation called for romantic feelings to develop—but Rei nodded his head firmly.

“I am quite confident in my memory, Nagisa. Especially when it concerns you—“ As if he had caught himself in the middle of an embarrassing confession, the man flushed and cleared his throat.

“A-Anyhow—on your way back to the marketplace, I saw you helping an old woman with carrying her baskets. You paid the owner of the apple stall what you owed him for his apple—and it was from the old woman who you helped. Then, you returned the gold vase to the wares merchant, and you returned to teaching the children how to dance. And you pinched the same child’s cheeks some more.”

“…You fell in love with me because I’m an honest, law-abiding citizen? Who can be strict sometimes?” Nagisa suggested helpfully, wondering if Rei was close to making his point. In response, Rei shook his head

“Hold on, I am still getting there.” A reminiscent smile came upon the brunet’s face.

“While you were teaching the children, I saw the bandit appear in the marketplace again. I thought that I would have to restrain him from committing another crime, so I was about to approach him—but there was no need. He went around each stall that he stole from and apologized to each merchant—and what was more, each merchant forgave him. The weaponry merchant he stole the knife from even gave him a scythe, saying he should go and farm a plot of land with it. And after that, the bandit disappeared peacefully, as if he had never attempted thievery in the first place. It was an outcome that I had never before seen in my life.” Hearing about this for the first time, Nagisa’s eyes grew round with surprise.

“…I had no idea any of that was happening. I guess the children were taking up all of my attention back then.” Nodding, Rei continued.

“Afterwards, I kept patrolling the marketplace until the sky turned dark. And then the parents of the children you were teaching came to pick them up—and I recognized each of them. One was the merchant who had the golden vase on display, the other was the owner of the apple stall, and the third was the merchant from the weaponry stall. I remember they were picking up their children, the ones that you were teaching to dance.” Thinking of the merchants and their children, Nagisa smiled.

“Hehe, yep! They knew me from around the neighborhood because of our dance troupe. They were looking for someone to look after their kids while they were doing business, so they hired me to teach them how to dance!”

“I see.” Rei smiled down at Nagisa. “I was certainly surprised to see them go up to you at the end of the day—that explains why the apple stall owner didn’t stop you from snatching the apple before.” The boy nodded against Rei’s shoulder.

“Mm. I think the kid I kept pinching was the last to go,” he recalled. “Come to think of it, his father was a little late picking him up that day. I wonder why?”

“He was the masked bandit, Nagisa.” At this revelation, Nagisa sat up, burgundy eyes widening.

“Eh?! …Really?! But how come—how did you—“

“He was hiding it with a turban, but I saw it—there was a bruise on his forehead, where you hit him with the apple. And he had an apple seed stuck in his teeth. During my days in the royal army, I was trained to have a sharp eye for such details, even from far away.” Noting that Rei’s voice grew a little proud upon the last sentence, Nagisa grinned.

“Wow, Rei, it’s like you have a magical eye! I never noticed those things, even up close.” Clearing his throat modestly, the guard continued his story.

“I remember hearing the last child’s stomach rumbling, even from where I was hiding. And I saw you reach in your pocket and take out an apple. You split it in half and handed one to him, and the second half to his father.” Rei smiled softly as he recalled the blonde’s words. “You said that sharing food was like sharing happiness, before you bid the father and son good bye. What you said was simple, and yet…somehow, it left an impression on my memory.” Next to him, Nagisa blushed slightly.

“…I knew that kid lived in the slums,” he explained, looking away shyly. “See, he was always grumpy and wouldn’t listen to me. His family was always struggling to get by, so…” Rei’s eyes softened as he looked down at Nagisa.

“I saw the man give his half to his son later. He was crying, and he was ruffling his son’s hair.”. Hearing this, Nagisa smiled.

“…I see. It’s a good thing they both had something to eat that day!” Rei nodded.

“About a month later, I saw the same man selling crops at a different marketplace. His son was helping him out with business. He looked happy.”

“Really? That makes me relieved.” The blonde’s smile widened as a look of gladness crossed his face. “I always wondered what happened to them, after they stopped showing up at the marketplace.” Humming in response, Rei continued.

“And well…after that…when I was patrolling the other marketplace again, I saw you teaching some other children how to dance.”

“Mm—“

“And I saw you there again the next day, and the next, and the next…” Noticing a change in the tone of Rei’s voice, Nagisa looked up, just as the brunet looked away bashfully. “…And somehow…one day…I realized something had changed about the way I saw you.” His voice had turned into a soft murmur that made Nagisa feel shy and warm and giddy all at once.

“…Rei…” Swallowing a little nervously, the man turned to look Nagisa in the eye as he continued his confession.

“I found my eyes searching for you at the marketplace—searching for you outside the marketplace, even. They were always following you before I knew it—when I should have been paying attention to patrolling the streets. And whenever you seemed happy, I found myself smiling. Whenever you seemed sad, I wished that I could make you smile again. And whenever I saw you talking with others...I wished that I could approach you and talk to you as well,” he said. “But I could not—I was a royal guard on duty, and I was to only appear if there was a commotion—“ Hearing this, Nagisa pouted.

“You should’ve came and talked to me!” he insisted. “I could’ve gotten to known you, little by little…” Perhaps he shouldn’t have been the one lamenting over lost time, but all the same, he couldn’t help but imagine. All the days they could have shared together…

“I thought…that I could be satisfied with just watching you from afar, like before.” Rei’s quiet admittance brought Nagisa back from his thoughts. “And I did just watch over you for another year and a half. But then…I started hearing rumors about that merchant. How he wanted to take you as a concubine.” Once more, Nagisa felt Rei’s hand take his own—its hold just a little tighter than before. “And after hearing that…I found that I could not just stand by and watch you being taken away.” Feeling the warmth in his hand spread to the rest of his body, Nagisa smiled softly as he stared down at their intertwined fingers.

“...I’m glad, then.” Hearing the boy’s murmur, Rei blushed slightly.

“Hm? Of what?” he asked, voice feigning casualty. In response, Nagisa turned towards Rei with an impatient pout.

“That you didn’t just stand by and watch forever, silly! Obviously!”

“Because you didn’t have to marry that merchant?” Rei’s eyes twinkled as he proceeded to tease Nagisa.

“No—well, yes, I’m glad about that too—but because I finally got to meet you again, one way or another!” the blonde declared huffily, causing Rei to become flustered in the end.

“…I see. Well, I’m glad it pleases you.” A cat-like grin spread across Nagisa’s lips as he noted Rei’s embarrassment.

“Rei, you’re blushing—how adorable!” he crooned, giggling. The older man drew himself up indignantly, his blush turning darker and spreading to his ears.

“’Ador’—will you not point it out so blatantly?! It—it is just the heat in the air, that’s all! Do not laugh!” His protests only caused Nagisa to giggle some more.

“Hehehe—sorry, sorry, I couldn’t help it! You looked so flustered!” For a moment Rei sat with his own lips in a pout, until a question occurred to him.

“…What about you, then?” Nagisa blinked. Eyes fixing resolutely on the boy, Rei asked, “You also told me you love me, did you not? Since when?” Not having expected such directness from Rei, Nagisa flushed hard as his mouth dropped open in panicked surprise.

“—E, eh~? You want me to talk about that?” he stammered. “It, it isn’t that interesting! You won’t hear anything new—“ Hearing the nervousness in his voice made Rei grin, as he silently reveled in the rare moment where he had the upper hand over the blonde.

“Nagisa. I would very much like to hear about it,” he insisted, in an all-too-sincere voice. “And there is no way I will find it uninteresting. Please, do tell.” As if to make his point, he leaned in towards Nagisa, who backed away from him while flushing harder.

“W-wait! Your face is too close, Rei!” he squeaked. “…All right, I’ll tell you!” Sitting up a little, he hesitantly began his words.

“…I realized it during the ball.” His voice was a little quieter than before. “When you got hurt…it scared me out of my wits, when I thought that I might lose you…that I might never see you smile at me again. After something like that happened, I didn’t want to leave you…so I decided I would stick by your side until you recovered.”

“…Nagisa…” Not having expected this answer, Rei’s face grew a little somber—but at the same time, his chest tingled with warmth, remembering how the boy had tended to him during his recovery. Misinterpreting Rei’s response, Nagisa hurriedly put up his palms.

“Don’t get me wrong—that isn’t when or the reason I fell for you!” he explained hastily. “I…I don’t really have an answer for when. Since I wasn’t even aware…that it was those kinds of feelings, until what happened at the ball. I just…” He fidgeted slightly in his seat as his voice grew small. “You were kinder than I expected you to be, and just when I started to think you could only ever be quiet and serious, you were absolutely ridiculous and nerdy and obsessed with beauty…and you could also get flustered and laugh and smile…it was completely unfair! You knew all about me, so I couldn’t surprise you, but you surprised me all the time…it wasn’t fair…” Not for the first time, Rei felt his heartbeat speed up as he stared at Nagisa speechlessly for a while. At last, he opened his mouth, hoping his tone wouldn’t betray the blush on his face.

“…Well, perhaps it’s a good thing I surprised you, then,” he said. “And in no way did you not surprise me, Nagisa. Just watching you from a distance and interacting with you were two completely different things. There was much to be learned from keeping you company—like the fact that you eat five times more than the average person your age and build,” he added in good-natured humor. To that Nagisa let out a hmph.

“I don’t see what your point is—and if there’s good food in front of you, of course you would eat it! It is completely logical!” he declared matter-of-factly, mimicking Rei’s speech at the end.

“Yes—was that supposed to be an imitation of me?—but you could also enjoy it in reasonable amounts, as most people do,” Rei replied, his tone indicating that he was about to launch into a lecture on eating habits. “And it would most likely be beneficial to your health as well—“

“Oh, hush!” Nagisa cut in. “It’s because you’ve grown up with tasty food your whole life—you wouldn’t understand how I feel!” Seeing the boy pouting with his arms and legs crossed, the edges of Reis’ expression softened with affection.

“—But I do like watching you enjoy your food.” His voice was gentle, and sincere. “I believe the sight would bring smiles to the cooks in the kitchen as well. So please, do not change.” Looking up, Nagisa saw Rei’s expression and the pout began to fade from his face.

“…I’ll be holding you to that request, you know? You can’t take it back!” In response to his childish remark, Rei laughed a little.

“I know. I mean what I said. Please do as you wish—it would make me happy.” He gave Nagisa his trademark loving smile, one that Rin and Gou had grown to tease him about lately—one that Nagisa was sure would make every female courtesan swoon at his feet. Flushing, the boy bit his lip before muttering back an answer.

“…Rei. Are you sure you haven’t courted anyone before?” Taken aback, Rei’s mouth fell open slightly.

“Whatever do you mean by that, Nagisa? Before you, there was no other…or are you still suspecting me of having an external lover?” he asked, with a frown. “I told you many times, that is not the case—”

“It—It’s not that, just—forget it. It’s just a silly thought!” The blonde avoided Rei’s eyes as his hands toyed with the bronze key that still hung around his neck. Seeing the key to his study, Rei suddenly recalled something important.

“…I just remembered, Nagisa. I have something I wanted to ask you about.” Nagisa looked up.

“What is it?” he asked curiously. Rei hummed in response as he began searching himself for something, scooting closer to the lamp that he had lit and placed on the balcony.

“Hold on, let me take them out. Ah—that’s right, I have them in my vest…” Carefully, the brunet drew out a bundle of parchment and unrolled it. Immediately, Nagisa recognized his own handwriting on the papers, illuminated by the lamplight. Jumping up from his seat, his face turned bright red and his mouth fell open in surprise.

“—!! Those are—but how did you—!” he squeaked nervously. Blushing slightly, Rei smiled at the boy.

“Nitori found them while cleaning in the study and gave them to me.” Hearing Nagisa curse his friend under his breath, Rei chuckled slightly. “You seemed to be frustrated in your attempts to write…” Feeling extremely embarrassed, Nagisa buried his burning face in his hands as he wailed.

“Re~i!! You weren’t meant to see them—I hid them away under a desk—you already knew how I felt then—I…ugh! Stupid Ai-chan!” As the boy stomped his feet, Rei’s lips fell into a gentle smile.

“…I saw them before I came here today. When did you write these?” Peeping out from an opening between his fingers, the boy reluctantly mumbled out an answer.

“…A few days ago. I, I was thinking that…I might not be able to tell you properly face to face. So I…tried writing it down. But that didn’t work out that well either…” As he trailed off, Rei’s smile softened even more.

“You were trying to write neatly. I could see your efforts on the parchment—there were so many crossed-out lines.” The man’s observation made Nagisa’s ears turn pink.

“I—well—you were the one who said neatly-written words were more beautiful!” he replied, somewhat accusingly. His voice grew smaller as he made his next admittance. “I thought…I thought that if I tried hard and wrote beautifully…I’d have a greater chance of winning you over. Although my writing turned out messy no matter how many times I tried…”

“It looks beautiful to me, Nagisa.” Rei’s voice was quiet but sincere. “All of it—even the crossed-out lines. And you had already won me over so long ago…there was no need for the additional effort.” Just when Nagisa was thinking he couldn’t flush any harder, his face turned an extra shade of red as he waved his arms about wildly.

“~~~! You, you really shouldn’t flatter me like that, Rei!” he stammered. “And give me those—I’ll throw them away for good!” His hands reached out for the letters but were blocked in the air by Rei’s. Grasping both of Nagisa’s hands in his left, the older man met his eyes resolutely.

“No—I am most certainly not handing them over. They are all addressed to me, so they are mine now.”

“Re~~i~~!!” Despite Nagisa’s drawn-out wail, Rei did not release his hands.

“I’m afraid you won’t be able to wheedle me out of this one, Nagisa,” he said firmly. “They are staying with me for life—I refuse to let you discard them.” Looking slightly to the side, he added in a murmur, “Not when they are from you.” Both embarrassed and at a loss for words, Nagisa gaped slightly at Rei before blushing even harder.

“~~You’re being too sly!” he protested, but made no move to remove his hands from Rei’s. “How can I argue with you if you say it like that?”

“You say it like I am the only one who is sly, Nagisa,” Rei commented, his own face turning warm. “You excel much more at that game than I do.” In that moment, Nagisa’s ears perked up as he thought of a way to turn the situation around.

“…Oh, really? And do you like that?” he asked innocently.

“—! Excuse me?!” was all Rei was able to sputter in response as he coughed.

“Did you like me being sly?” Repeating his question, Nagisa batted his lashes at Rei. “Like—when I danced around you at the ball, for example?” Reminded of the memory, Rei’s face erupted into flames.

“Th-tha—I could hardly keep myself from—you were doing that on purpose?!” he croaked. Nagisa blushed slightly.

“Well…I do think I was trying to flirt with you,” he admitted. “Although I didn’t realize what I was doing then—“ In response, Rei’s mouth gaped open and shut repeatedly as he turned an even darker shade of red.

“I—I do not—I have no idea what to answer to that—“ he faltered.

“It’s easy—just say yes or no!” He aimed his large burgundy eyes at Rei, the orbs shiny and uncannily resembling those of a puppy.

“Nagisa—! I—do not look at me with such eyes!” Turning away, the brunet stammered, “I—w-well, I—…..if I had to choose…between those two options, I…“

“Re~i.” The guard attempted to shield his face as he made the pretense of readjusting his glasses.

“…Yes. I did…not find it unpleasant…” he slowly admitted. “And, yes, I…like it when you…are being affectionate...” In response, Nagisa giggled.

“Rei~! Now you’re really red! Just like a tomato!“ The blonde’s teasing made Rei throw his head up in embarrassment.

“Aghh! Just what have you made me confess? Now I really do sound like a man with indecent motives!” he wailed, making Nagisa raise a brow.

“Hm? What’s wrong with liking to flirt with the person you love? My parents flirted all the time, and there was nothing indecent about it!” Flushing from this remark, Rei gestured helplessly with his hands in response.

“B-but Nagisa—! That is—that is so forward—and to do so in public, no less—“ In response, Nagisa clicked his tongue.

“Geez, Rei, you are twenty-four!” he reminded Rei. “Why are you so embarrassed? Surely you must’ve…had some people flirting with you before…hmph. You jerk.” As the blonde turned away pouting, the older man drew himself up with a startled expression.

“What?! I have never—if it’s that sort of experience, I daresay you must have had more of it!” At this claim, Nagisa frowned as he retorted.

“Well, obviously you never noticed how all those courtesans bat their eyelashes at you—and I did not flirt!” he insisted. “There were some who tried to get my attention, but I didn’t invite them in any way—it wasn’t my fault they became so persistent!” The last remark made Rei frown as well.

“Persis—that’s just—“ He sighed. “…Why are we fighting over this in the first place, Nagisa? Were we not just discussing our verbal courtship towards each other?” Nagisa blinked.

“…Yes. You make flirting sound like something so formal, Rei. Like it’s a ritual!” he teased with a chuckle, making Rei flustered.

“D-don’t laugh, Nagisa! I just prefer to refer to it by its proper name, that is all—“

“But in essence it’s the same thing, isn’t it?” Placing his chin in one hand, Nagisa pretended to look thoughtful. “Hm. Perhaps the only way to solve the problem of fending off others’ advances…is to flirt in front of them all!” he declared, causing Rei’s mouth to drop open in embarrassment.

“Fli—Nagisa! That would most certainly be improper—displaying such behavior in public would not be—“

“So you don’t want to make verbal courtship to me, Rei?” The blonde’s brow knit together as his pout returned to his lips.

“That is not—do not get that pout on your face! That is not what I meant—“ Rei sputtered helplessly. In response, Nagisa cocked his head to one side.

“But I don’t understand? We both love each other, so what’s wrong with showing a little affection in public?” he asked. “Just enough to keep the others away would be fine! We are married, after all! …Well, kind of…” Rei blinked as he took in Nagisa’s expression, which looked unsure and a little somber. Immediately, he remembered the marriage certificate that was only half-signed—which was now torn in half as well.

‘If we aren’t married, then, what are we now?’

As the unspoken question hung in the air, an answer began formulating itself in Rei’s head. Slowly, he opened his mouth and spoke the words carefully.

“…Nagisa. Actually, I have something I would like to suggest to you.” Looking up curiously, Nagisa blinked.

“Hm? What is it, Rei?” The older man cleared his throat.

“…You did say that I should have come to court you first, did you not?” The blonde blinked.

“Hm? Yeah, I did. What about it?” Reaching out, Rei gently took Nagisa’s left hand in his.

“Well—I love you. And you said you love me as well. So…” As the stars shone overhead, he asked,

“Would you like to make a promise?”

-Three Years Later-

“I don’t get it. Why go through all this trouble all over again? They were already in the same place three years ago.”

“Onii-chan! Three years ago and now is totally different—you heard the story from them! This time it will truly be their own wedding!”

“…Oi, Gou. Why are you so into that idiot couple’s story, anyways? You’re not having delusions about them or—god forbid, you aren’t thinking about their muscles, are you?!”

“Geez, Onii-chan, calm down! What in the world is wrong with you? And besides—there’s nothing wrong with admiring muscles now and then!”

“So you WERE looking at their muscles after all! I forbid you to look at them as of now—“

“How can you forbid me from looking at them, Onii-chan? They show from their daily dress—it’s impossible for me to not look!”

“Gou—!!”

As Iwatobi’s royal siblings argued amongst each other, a small snort of laughter came from behind them. Turning, the two of them found a smiling Nitori with a plate of confections in his hand.

“Would you like some refreshments, Your Majesties?” he asked in a polite voice that retained only a small touch of laughter in it, his sky blue eyes twinkling merrily. “If you wish to have something else, I could also get you that as well.”

“…Hah?” Suddenly rendered incoherent, Rin blinked once or twice before cracking his mouth open. “Ah, no—it’s fine. We’ll heat—eat. Later.” Smiling amicably, Nitori bowed at Rin with respect.

“Yes, Your Majesty. And you, Princess?”

“Nope—I’m good for now, Ai-kun!” Gou said cheerfully. “Go and see to the other guests!”

“Very well, then. If you have anything you need, please feel free to ask!” As Nitori retreated to the other guests, Rin turned to Gou with surprised eyes.

“You know that servant? I’ve never seen him around before.”

“Ah—that’s Nitori Aiichirou-kun! He used to serve Rei-kun a few years ago, but he was promoted to the royal kitchen last year. He’s also good friends with Nagisa-kun!”

“…Really. And how do you know him?” Gou giggled.

“He helped me out of a difficult situation once. And he’s been keeping me updated on how Rei-kun’s and Nagisa-kun’s relationship is going!” Rin frowned slightly.

“You really do care too much about that idiot couple,” he muttered. “And what’s this about a difficult situation? …It didn’t involve any bastards trying things with you, did i—“

“Speaking of Ai-kun!” Gou cut in innocently, her voice sounding a tad too cheerful. “He’s an attractive man, isn’t he, Onii-chan?” Her voice was teasing as her brother started to blush. “Apparently, enough to make you stumble over your words. Why not try asking him for refreshments later? You’ll have a chance to talk with him more, then!”

“What the—why are you—I wasn’t stumbling—!” As Rin protested, Gou caught Nitori staring curiously at them from the refreshment table—his eyes specifically seemed to fix on Rin. When the servant met Gou’s eyes, he blushed slightly and turned away, as if to hide the fact that he had been staring. Knowing that Nitori had had a crush on her brother for years, Gou smiled and whistled cheerfully as her brother continued to stutter next to her. Perhaps, she thought, this wedding would not only seal an old romance, but be the start of a new one as well.

Her thoughts were interrupted when a booming voice came from behind her.

“Your Majesties! It is an honor to be in your presence this fine day!” Turning, Gou and Rin saw a middle-aged man with goldenrod hair and brown stubble, standing arm-in-arm with a brown-haired woman wearing a cheery smile. “Thank you for personally attending my nephew’s wedding—I’m sure he’s very pleased to have you both here today!”

“Ah—Sasabe-sensei!” Gou greeted Rei’s uncle with a smile of her own. “Thank you for having us both!” Next to her, Rin let out a tsk.

“We couldn’t show at his wedding before—of course we’d show for this one,” he said, rubbing the back of his head. “Back when you used to teach us, you were always going on about friendship and all that—I came so you wouldn’t show up at my audience hall and nag me about it.” At this comment, Sasabe Gorou’s eyes sparkled as he let out a cheerful laugh.

“Rei certainly is a lucky lad—he has the Sultan of Iwatobi as a fast friend and ally. It was a good thing he got to meet you—and you as well, Princess.” As the music started to play in the background, the smile on Gorou’s face widened. “And now he’s found the love of his life and is getting married—children sure do grow up quickly!”

“He already got married once, three years ago,” Rin pointed out. But Gorou waved it away cheerfully.

“It’s always nice to have a courting period before marriage! That way, the young people in question can get to know each other better—and it’s one of the flowers of youth, after all!” Rin rolled his eyes.

“You’ve always been liberal beyond belief—but then again, I suppose Rei’s got it lucky that you do.” Next to him, Gou nudged her brother with her elbow.

“Now, now, be nice, Onii-chan—let’s go and seat ourselves down! It seems like Nagisa-kun’s sisters have started dancing!” In the center of the Sasabe estate’s garden, the Hazuki sisters had started to perform a number for the wedding celebration. As the guests watched the dancers, Gou and Rin seated themselves on the cushions under a specially designated tent and watched the event. For some of the guests, it wasn’t often that they had a chance to watch the Sultan’s royal dancers perform, and they were clapping and laughing with delight as they enjoyed the performance. As the music came to an end minutes later, the Hazuki sisters bowed with the applause before joining the guests and sitting down.

“Where’s Rei?” Rin asked no one in particular as his eyes searched for the guard. “And Nagisa?” Spotting the couple in question, Gou nudged her brother and pointed in a certain direction.

“There they are!”

They saw the couple emerge from the arcade surrounding the garden. They were clad in light layers of white and violet and golden yellow, and their hands were already joined together as they stepped down the stairs and into the garden. As the guests clapped, Rei and Nagisa smiled at each other, making their way to the other side of the garden, where a cheerful Officer Mikoshiba waited at the foot of the arcade stairs with a scroll in his hands. As he unfurled the scroll and started conducting the ceremony in his booming voice, Nagisa squeezed Rei’s hand affectionately and spoke in a low voice that only Rei could hear.

“We’re finally getting married, Rei,” he said with a warm smile at his lover. “After three whole years—I thought you’d never ask for my hand!” Rei blushed as he squeezed Nagisa’s hand back.

“I was waiting,” he admitted. “Until you turned twenty—it only seemed right.” Slightly peeved, Nagisa shot Rei a pointed look while keeping the smile on his face for the guests.

“Why? You thought I was still a child until now?”

“No—that is not it!” Rei protested quietly, as if he sensed Nagisa was pouting inside. “I never saw you as a child during that time—it was just—I wanted to let you enjoy your years as a young adult, before today. And your sisters were quite…adamant that I allow you to do so.” His cheeks began flushing as he murmured, “Although I was...tempted quite often to break that promise.” At the implication of these words, Nagisa also flushed as well, but at the same time his eyes darkened slightly as he batted his lashes at Rei.

“Well, you won’t have to hold back anymore, Mr. Soldier,” he said flirtatiously, his smile taking on a deviousness that made Rei flush darker. “I’ll be dancing only for you tonight!” At this comment, the brunet nearly choked on his spit—swallowing hard, he quickly averted his eyes away from Nagisa as the hand holding the blonde’s grew sweaty.

“They are totally flirting,” Rin drawled from his seat amongst the guests. “Nagisa must’ve said something provocative again—and they think we can’t tell they’re having their own little conversation.” Over these past three years, the redhead had become friends with Nagisa through acquaintance with Rei, and because he was the same age as Gou, Rin had also grown to think of him as a somewhat of a little brother. But of course, the redhead knew by now just how mischievous Nagisa could be, and the only thing that’d kept Rin from knocking him one on the head for calling him ‘His Highness Rin-Rin’ was Rei getting between the two of them. At Rin’s remark, Gou laughed and nudged her brother in the arm.

“Oh, Onii-chan. I know you love them both—just watch them being happy without grouching for once! Just because you’re feeling lonely doesn’t mean you have to hate on them!”

“Wha—where the hell did that come from, Gou?! Who said anything about being lonely?” Giggling, Gou turned her eyes back to the wedding, where Officer Mikoshiba was wrapping up the official ceremony. As he neared the end of his speech, Nagisa met Rei’s eyes and smiled tenderly, his own burgundy eyes twinkling from beneath his lashes.

“Marry me?” he mouthed, as he took Rei’s left hand in his own. Simple golden bands shone on each of their fourth fingers as their hands intertwined together. His eyes melting at the edges with fondness, Rei smiled back as he squeezed his hand.

“Of course,” he breathed back with happiness, meaning every word.

“—I declare you man and husband. Now, you may present a token of affection that will seal the promise of eternal love and faithfulness—“

“Ah—!” A cry of surprise escaped Rei’s lips as he was suddenly tugged forward by the hand. He then felt a soft pair of lips land on the back of his hand. It was Nagisa’s—the blonde was kissing Rei’s hand gently, just as Rei had done for Nagisa at their wedding three years ago. Somehow, the gesture made Rei blush harder, as a wave of warmth gulfed up in him at the same time. Just when he thought he would melt into a puddle, he felt his hand being tugged forward, and this time felt the soft pair of lips over his own. As he heard the guests clap in the background, Rei let his eyes fall closed as reached up with his ringed hand to caress Nagisa’s chin, kissing the blonde back. When they finally broke apart, Nagisa’s burgundy eyes were lidded and brimming with affection as he stared up at his now-husband.

“I love you,” he told Rei, in a voice that only Rei could hear. At that moment, Rei could see no one but Nagisa standing before him. “I’ll make sure you smile for the rest of your life.” For a moment, the brunet’s breath caught in his throat as his eyes widened. Then, just like he had smiled at the seven-year-old boy thirteen years ago, just as he had smiled at the seventeen-year-old boy in the study three years ago, Rei smiled. All the warmth and genuine happiness in it took Nagisa’s breath away—but he found that he was absolutely fine with that.

“Please take responsibility, then.” Rei leaned forward to gently touch Nagisa’s forehead with his own. “Because I love you as well.” The both of them then leaned forward, their lips meeting again in a tender dance as they kissed once more.

Perhaps the world around them was not an entirely kind place. And more likely than not, there would be bad times waiting for them as well. But in the same cruel world, they had found each other—and as they stood in the garden in each other’s arms, both Nagisa and Rei felt that, finally, they had discovered their happiness.

Throughout the years of draught and hardship, Hazuki Nagisa had always dreamed about the future. He had dreamt of joining a caravan, of dancing freely as he traveled the world. He had dreamt of falling in love, of starting a life together with his beloved. And the very moment that Rei suggested they go and see the world together, Nagisa felt as if both of his dreams had been fulfilled at last.

Perhaps going around the neighboring kingdoms as part of Sultan Rin’s peace negotiation efforts did not count as ‘traveling the world’. After all, they did not need to travel beyond their continent to reach these kingdoms, and as no oceans were crossed, the only way they traveled was on carriage or foot. But they had their adventures together along the way—meeting Prince Nanase Haruka of Iwami for one thing, and helping him reclaim the throne from Iwami’s despot. They also met the kind traveling merchant Makoto and his endearing younger twin siblings, who helped guide the Sultan’s procession through the different kingdoms and told tales of his travels every night as they sat around the fire. And along with the vast expanses of desert land, they also saw some grand mountains, came across tall baobabs and majestic canyons, discovered colorful fields of desert flowers and palm trees and even oases. It had been fun, teaching Rei how to swim in them—the guard aghast and panicked as he struggled not to sink in the water, and Nagisa laughing as he helped Rei stay afloat, their hands entwined together the whole time.

But for Nagisa, the favorite sight he had seen on the trip had been the ocean. Seeing the emerald waves of foamy water lap against the expanse of golden sand for the first time in his life, feeling the salty sea breeze that brushed against the beach, his namesake—it had made him feel as if he were seeing the whole world before him. That day he had returned to being the energetic and giggling seven-year-old he had once been, running around the beach and collecting seashells, building various structures out of sand, jumping into the ocean water (and being restrained by an aghast Rei from wading in too deep), splashing Rei and tackling the older man onto the sand, kissing him breathless with lips that tasted like saltwater.

During the night, the Sultan’s procession had camped further up on the beach, and Nagisa had danced around the campfire, following the rhythm of the ocean waves as they lapped up the shore, catching the golden light of the flames with his form as he stepped gracefully on the sand. He had seen Rei watch him with captivated eyes, as if he could not bring himself to turn his attention away. As they lay together in their tent that night, Rei had told his husband that he was beautiful, just like the beach he had been named after. And it was then that Nagisa thought he truly understood the happiness of seeing new sights while traveling with his beloved.

…

When the time came for the Sultan’s procession to return to Iwatobi, the members packed up their belongings and loaded them on the camels and carriages to head for home. At one point on the trip back, Rei and Nagisa took their turn riding on one of the camels together. As Nagisa sat sideways between the camel’s humps, he leaned his side against Rei’s back, nuzzling his head against the nape of his husband’s neck. When Rei hummed contentedly in response, the blonde spoke, his eyes suddenly thoughtful.

“Rei—remember that night when we were married before—when I told you about how my parents met?” Rei blinked, and in a few seconds remembered which memory Nagisa was referring to.

“…It was the night I told you about my parents, as well,” he recalled. “I could not fall asleep because it was the anniversary of their death—and after I told you about them, you told me about your parents.” Nagisa nodded against Rei’s back.

“Do you remember how I told you about my dreams?” he asked, leaning his cheek against Rei’s back. “That I wanted to go traveling—and that I wanted to experience falling in love like how my parents did?”

“…Yes,” Rei replied softly. “When I heard about them, I was paralyzed with guilt—I thought that I had gotten in the way of both your dreams…and I thought that I could never become part of your happiness.” Immediately, Nagisa reached forward and found Rei’s hand, intertwining their fingers together in a tender web.

“Well, now I’ve seen what the world is like outside of Iwatobi. I’ve seen the minarets of Iwami, the maze of Tottori’s streets and cubic buildings, the hills and straw huts of Hamada—I’ve seen canyons and flowers and palm trees and oases. And I even saw the ocean—and the beach. You were there with me all along. And you were watching over me since much, much before that.” He gave Rei’s hand a warm squeeze before continuing.

“And I was just thinking…how it was all thanks to you.” From the front of the camel, Rei’s eyes widened slightly. “So…thank you. For being with me now—for appearing in my life.” As he squeezed Rei’s hand tighter, Nagisa smiled into Rei’s back. “For giving me happiness.” He could hear the breath catch in Rei’s throat as the man took a while to respond.

“…You did not see the world yet. And…I don’t know if I will ever be able to take you out of the continent. And I put you through much grief before I could bring myself to be honest with you. I never…I never thought that I would…” Rei’s hand shook slightly in Nagisa’s.

“My dreams already came true, Rei.” Nagisa’s voice was sincere, happy as he reached out with his other hand and lay it over Rei’s, cradling the calloused hand in his own. “You might have been hesitant and clumsy—but so was I. And you were always there—even when I wasn’t aware of it.” Releasing Rei’s hand, Nagisa’s hands snaked around Rei’s waist, his arms hugging the man tightly, burying his face in Rei’s back. The scars from over three years ago still remained, and he could feel them through the thin cloth of Rei’s upper garment. “It doesn’t matter if I never see what’s beyond that ocean. You’re my world, Rei—and my happiness. Don’t ever forget that—all right?”

“…All right.” Rei’s voice sounded a little choked as he placed his hand over Nagisa’s. “All right,” he whispered. The warmth of the man’s hand made Nagisa’s heart dance. He thought he could feel Rei’s own heart beat under his hand, as if it were saying unspoken words in Rei’s stead.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

It was the rhythm of Nagisa’s happiness, and he knew that he would hold it close to his heart, so long as he lived.

-Fin.

Chapter Text

01. Voices from the Past

Time Setting: Ryuugazaki Rei, age 22/Hazuki Nagisa, age 16

“Youth is great, eh?”

Startled by the voice, Rei whirled around to see General Mikoshiba standing before him with a cheery grin on his face.

“While there’s no harm in having an eye on that lad, remember to keep your eyes wandering on duty, soldier! After all there’s been reports about a group of troublemakers around here recently—can’t leave the kingdom’s young ladies to their harassment now, can we?” Flushing and promptly straightening up, Rei saluted Mikoshiba and gave him a sharp bow.

“G-general Mikoshiba! I-I apologize for my inattention, sir!” Laughing good-naturedly, the tall orange-haired man clapped a friendly hand on his underling’s shoulder.

“It’s no problem, Lieutenant! Just remember to be vigilant—though there’s nothing wrong with keeping an eye out for that boy as well!” He winked at Rei, who blushed harder.

“I—it’s not like that, sir! I—“ Chuckling, General Mikoshiba waved a hand before he resumed his own patrol around the streets. Soon after, Rei slumped to the ground, hiding his eyes with one hand in embarrassment, his ears red as he sighed in defeat.

Had he really been staring so obviously at Nagisa? Now that he thought back on it, he had been so lost in observing the blonde manning a crop stall part-time that he had not even sensed Mikoshiba approaching. And for Rei that was saying something—he had trained in the Royal Army for nearly eight years and had developed a keen ability to sense the human presence. To think that he had been so distracted…the brunet sighed as he stood up and straightened his glasses, redirecting his eyes on the street in the marketplace where he was stationed.

It was early in the afternoon, just around the lunch hour when customers were fewest in number. Most of the vendors and merchants were having a quick bite behind their stalls, some of them sitting together and chatting as they did. Rei’s eyes traveled down the street, examining the state of affairs—children running past an apple stall, a woman bargaining with a cloth merchant for lower prices, a vegetable farmer and flour merchant discussing their sales as they ate, Nagisa joining them—

“Hey, guys! Can I eat lunch here?” The boy’s cheerful voice rang in Rei’s ears like a wake-up chime, startling him. As the brunet blinked, he heard the farmer and merchant welcome Nagisa, and in a moment the three of them were sharing the same spread as they ate and chatted. Groaning slightly, Rei averted his eyes and tried to refocus his attention on the vicinity, reminding himself that he was on patrol duty. He would switch with another guard in an hour, so he only had to hold out until then—

“—Is it just me or have there been more guards patrolling around here lately?” And there he went, tuning into the conversation. Stiffening self-consciously, Rei tucked himself further behind the wall where he was stationed, making sure he was properly out of sight.

It was protocol for all guards on patrol that they keep their presence as unnoticed as possible, save for times when intervention was required. The rule had been enacted by the Sultan—because while the redheaded ruler himself was loved by his people, his soldiers were a different matter. There were too many bad memories from the previous Sultan’s authoritarian rule—during that time, there had been many guards who took advantage of their authority and terrorized the subjects while on patrol. And while four years had passed since Sultan Rin inherited the throne, many people still hated the royal guard—the fact that they still talked bitterly about the soldiers was proof enough.

Knowing this, Rei frowned—there had been more guards patrolling the marketplace in particular because there had been reports of rising thefts and harassment in the area. But if the guards had been properly alert, their presence should still have gone unnoticed by the civilians—had the soldiers been lax on duty? Making a note to mention this to General Mikoshiba later, Rei returned his attention to the street before him—

“—wish they would go away. I absolutely hate royal guards.”

And took a stab to his heart, figuratively. Nearly falling over from shock, Rei hastily steadied himself as Nagisa’s voice continued to voice complaints.

“—they start fights out of nowhere, going around drunk. They know they can’t harass the richer merchants because of their status and money, but they think it’s nothing to snatch apples from farmers and bread from bakers. I’ve even seen some of them bullying children once!” At this Rei frowned—while General Mikoshiba’s discipline was in no way lax, there were many guards in the royal army, and he knew there was still a handful who resented the restrictions on their authority after Rin came to power. These guards tended to abuse their authority in places where they knew their superiors weren’t watching. At the least, Rei hoped that they weren’t the soldiers under his command.

“It’s true, there have still been incidents like that—but don’t you think they’ve decreased in number recently?” As the flour merchant spoke, Rei couldn’t help but feel a surge of gratitude towards the man. “Seems that the current General’s got a pretty decent head on his shoulders, actually—and the Sultan is pretty tough on those guards, from what I hear. And you know there’s been more delinquents around the marketplace recently, so maybe that’s why there’s been more patrolling around here?”

“But still—I’ve never met one who’s actually halfway decent,” Nagisa muttered, frown still on his face. “I’ve dealt with more of them than I ever wanted to, to be honest—I’ve had enough of their stupid catcalls and advances.” Upon hearing this, something snapped in Rei, as his eyes darkened and the grip on his bayonet tightened significantly. There had been guards harassing Nagisa? Just the thought sent a flare of protective anger through his stomach as he began muttering the extensive 100-penalty code for the royal guard under his breath to calm himself down. He was starting to recite the tenth penalty as the vegetable farmer patted Nagisa on the back sympathetically.

“Getting a lot of trouble from them lately, hun? God knows you deserve a good lad or gal instead—it’s a shame, with how lovely you are.” The blonde cracked a smile at the woman.

“Well, it’d be great if I could meet someone nice—but for now, I’m fine on my own! And don’t worry, I can fend off those annoying guards on my own.” With a spark in his eye, Nagisa flexed one arm, a smirk forming on his face. “I was taught by the best, after all!” Somehow Rei had a feeling he was talking about his older sisters. Sighing quietly, the guard wiped his brow and let his eyes wander back around the vicinity.

‘Well, it’d be great if I could meet someone nice!’

He tried not to ponder over the statement for too long. After all, what was the use of him out of all people over-thinking things? It wasn’t as if being a royal guard was the biggest obstacle. There was also their age gap—and the fact that the Hazuki sisters had made it clear that they did not want to be approached by his uncle (who had offered them help after they were orphaned) made Rei sense that this wish also applied to himself as well.

That was not all—although Rei had watched over Nagisa for several years, Nagisa had only met Rei once, nine years ago. It was likely that he had forgotten about Rei, having only been a child at the time—and even if he did remember, what would that say about Rei’s character? If he were to say that he—that he was suddenly attracted to Nagisa now after only meeting him once when he was seven, that would no doubt call for misunderstandings—and if Rei were to reveal that he had watched over Nagisa for the majority of those years, that would likely invite even more misunderstandings. Not that Rei had exactly followed the boy everywhere—he had just seen him during his patrols, his duty as a royal guard. True, he may have specially kept an eye out for the blonde, might have stared after him from time to time, sometimes to the point that his own general had to tell him to keep his vigilance while on duty…

Was he no better than a stalker? Rei was starting to fear that this was the truth. Groaning, he took off his glasses and pressed the back of his hand to his eyes for a moment in despair.

For a brief moment he thought of Nagisa, how he had seen the boy earlier as he sold wheat and potatoes at the crop vendor’s stall, charming customers with his bright smile and cheery demeanor. He was only sixteen—but in their kingdom it wasn’t strange to start courting and even marry at that age. Over the years he had grown into an attractive youth, and Rei knew others were not blind to the blonde’s charm either. It would only be a matter of time before Nagisa found someone—and as much as the thought pained Rei, he knew the best thing he could do for the boy was to stand back and watch him find his happiness. He had sworn to protect that smile after all, no matter what.

And who was to say that Rei’s own feelings would not change? Even now, the guard was not sure—was deathly scared of being sure—that what he felt towards Nagisa was romantic love. Maybe with time the feelings of attraction would go away—after all, it could just be that he was seeing the blonde in a new light because he was on his way to maturing into an adult. To Rei that theory made more sense than the speculation that he had somehow fallen in love with a boy who he hadn’t even spoken to for nine years. If time was given…Rei hoped that would be the case. Sighing, he placed his glasses back on and resumed patrolling the area discreetly.

He just had to give it time, he told himself. With time, these confusing emotions would go away.

…

It was thirty minutes into his patrol when Rei heard disruptive voices coming from the direction of a nearby alley. He could not clearly hear the remarks being made but could make out bits and pieces, with bouts of crude laughter in-between.

Immediately, Rei frowned—he thought there was a good chance that the voices belonged to the delinquents that had been cornering girls around the marketplace recently. Hand tightening around his bayonet, the guard hastened his steps as he stealthily ran through the narrow alleys.

Soon, he caught sight of torchlight—even in the daytime, the back alleys near the marketplace were fairly dark. Coming to a sharp halt before turning the corner, Rei flattened himself against the wall and carefully peered out, observing the situation.

He could make out four figures surrounding a fifth, who was backed up against the wall. The light from the torch—which seemed to have fallen from the cornered figure’s hand—highlighted the face of the victim…

In a split second, Rei’s heart nearly leapt out of his throat. It was Nagisa—the boy was glaring fiercely at the men who were surrounded him, his body tense against the brick wall.

“Aw, why the frown, lovely? When you’ve got such a pretty face?“

“Such pale skin too—just like a whore’s—“

“Let us take a closer look, won’t you? We’ll treat you really well—“ As the men sniggered, the blonde opened his mouth.

“Actually, I don’t have time to waste—I’ve got a part-time job to get back to and I don’t have any moments to spare on scum like you. So if you could just get the hell out of my way, please?” Upon hearing the boy’s cool response, Rei froze with worry and dismay. There were four men backing Nagisa up against a brick wall, all of whom were taller and more heavily built than the blonde himself—just what was he thinking, provoking them with such language? True to his expectations, the delinquents’ voices sounded a little angry as they responded.

“Oh really? Getting a little mouthy, aren’t we?”

“Maybe we’ve been playing nice a little too long? We can play rough if that’s what you’re into—“ From the shadows Rei saw one of the delinquent’s hands reach out towards Nagisa’s face. Hands tightening around his bayonet, the guard stepped forward to intervene—

“Oof!!” When he saw the man crumple to the ground, Rei stopped short, barely muffling a squawk of surprise. Within seconds, he saw the blonde’s leg aim swift kicks between the men’s legs—all he could do was watch stupidly as the three other delinquents were also felled to the ground. As they clutched at their groins and moaned in pain, Nagisa huffed slightly while dusting his hands off.

“Oh please—like I haven’t dealt with the likes of you before!” Picking up his torch, he turned to leave the alley—

“Not so fast, you little wench!” From the ground, one of the men’s hands shot out to grab Nagisa’s ankle. As the blonde cried out in surprise, he dropped his torch and began falling forward—

When a sudden thumping sound was followed by a cry of pain, and his ankle was released. Nagisa barely registered the sound of a rock falling to the ground before a calloused hand grabbed his wrist.

“Run!” Before Nagisa could fully understand the situation, or even respond, the hand pulled him through the dark alleyways, its owner seeming to navigate them effortlessly. Startled, the blonde dazedly allowed himself to be pulled forward—with only the sounds of short breaths and footsteps and the warmth of that hand guiding him through the darkness. And yet, somehow—

Somehow, Nagisa felt safe. Even if he could not see the face of his savior, nor knew who he was—the sensation of that hand wrapped around his wrist felt strangely familiar. As they neared the brighter streets, he was able to make out a violet vest, white pants, and a red turban—

And suddenly, they broke into the main street. Bright light flooded Nagisa’s eyes as he was suddenly swept up in the marketplace crowd. Now that it was past lunchtime the influx of customers was back, with vendors and merchants’ calls filling the air. Stumbling to a stop, Nagisa barely regained his balance as civilians pushed past him towards the stalls.

Only when he finished catching his breath did he realize that his wrist had been let go. Blinking, Nagisa looked up to scan the crowd for the stranger—and caught the flash of a red turban slipping into the opposite alley. Gathering his wits, the blonde quickly ran after the guard.

“Wait!” Although he was running at full speed, Nagisa found he could not keep up with the anonymous guard. Despite his calls, the man would not slow down, and soon the boy had to give up, leaning against one of the walls as he caught his breath.

“Mr. Guard!” he called out as a last attempt. He heard the footsteps come to a stop a distance away.

“Thank you! For helping me out!” Nagisa’s fingers clenched the edge of the shawl around his waist in earnest. “I didn’t think there was a decent guard out there—but you seem like a nice person! That’s all I wanted to say!”

He only received silence in response—hoping that the guard had stayed to hear his words, the blonde turned and left the alley, walking back towards the marketplace.

Behind a nearby wall, Rei’s knees gave out from under him. Sinking against the wall, he blinked his widened eyes, releasing the breath he had been holding, heart doing somersaults in his chest.

“God heavens—what did I just do?” he whispered to himself. His eyes traveled down to his hand, the one that had touched Nagisa’s cool wrist, pulled the boy through the back alleys and back to the marketplace.

‘Thank you! For helping me out!’

‘I didn’t think there was a decent guard out there—but you seem like a nice person!’

A bright blush spread across Rei’s face as he let his head drop onto his knees, a new hope starting to stir in his chest. The voice at the back of his mind seemed to rebuff all the logical reasons he had given himself, all reasons against why he should give up, why he should let these feelings pass and move on.

At that moment, Ryuugazaki Rei was quite sure that he was doomed.

02. A Stranger’s Kindness

Time Setting: Hazuki Nagisa, age 16

As Nagisa walked back to the crop stall to collect his part-time wages, he found himself staring at his wrist. When the stall owner paid him, she asked if something was wrong with it. Blinking, the blonde smiled and said “It’s fine!” before thanking her and leaving.

‘It’d be great if I could meet someone nice!’

He heard word spreading through the marketplace that the recent troublemaking delinquents had been arrested. On his way home he whistled a cheerful tune, making sure to avoid shortcutting through the alleys this time.

Chapter Text

03. Object of Affection

Time Setting: Hazuki Nagisa, age 17/Ryuugazaki Rei, age 24

When news got out that they were no longer wed, there was much talk throughout the palace for a while. But once they began courting, it was only a matter of time before Rei and Nagisa gained a reputation throughout the palace as ‘those fools in love’. And there were many reasons why. One of them was jealousy—or more so, how each of them dealt with it.

After all, it was not on just a few occasions that Rei had to stand back and watch the men and women of the court aim mesmerized glances at Nagisa as the boy danced on the floor of the audience hall with his sisters. Of course, Rei himself never failed to be mesmerized by the beauty, both of Nagisa himself and his dance. But as a royal guard, he had his duties—his eyes had to keep wandering around the hall at all times—

During which he ended up seeing the audience’s enraptured faces. Some of them being younger—and older—men whose gazes skirted Nagisa’s form up and down, with poorly concealed desire in their eyes. And although the rational part of Rei told him that casually jabbing each and every one of them in the ribs with his bayonet as he patrolled the hall was not the right way to deal with the flares of irritation in his stomach, that didn’t stop him from throwing a few glares here and there—mostly aimed at the guards under his command, who quickly averted their eyes with guilt. A few tight-lipped smiles might have been directed at some of the court nobles, who also gulped and looked the other way—because many of them knew Rei was not General of the Royal Army for nothing.

What he didn’t realize was that Nagisa noticed these warning looks of Rei’s—the blonde looked as though he was concentrating on his dance, but oftentimes his gaze searched for his lover in the crowd. It didn’t take him long to figure out why Rei was glaring, and it made Nagisa’s heart dance and the smile on his face widen. Sometimes Rei would break one of his glares and turn his eyes away to coincidentally meet Nagisa’s, and these times the brunet would flush and look away in embarrassment, as if he feared that his lover saw right through him. Truth be told, Nagisa loved it—loved the fact that Rei was jealous and that he himself was able to notice it now. He had been oblivious to it before they confessed to each other, but now—he delighted in the perks of knowing his feelings were returned by Rei, loved that they were courting now.

And he had no problem with letting the whole palace know. On the fifth night that he caught Rei intimidating the court with his expressions, he did something that became somewhat of a tradition for the both of them.

“Rei!” It was immediately after the dancers’ performance that Nagisa wound his way over to the guard. Startled, Rei felt a blush creep into his cheeks as the boy neared him.

“Nagisa?” Usually, the blonde bowed and left the hall with the other dancers to change, before returning to the banquet. As some curious eyes in the hall followed him, Nagisa stopped before Rei and looped his arms around the man’s neck, a playful smile on his lips.

Before Rei could even register what was going on, the boy went on tiptoe and gently pressed his lips to Rei’s. In front of everyone. It was not long before the guard’s face erupted into flames, the flush quickly traveling down his neck as well. Breaking contact after a good ten seconds, Nagisa released his arms and stepped back, rocking on his heels casually with a wide smile and rosy cheeks.

“See you later!” With a light laugh, he was weaving his way through the crowd once more, this time headed for the dancers’ dressing rooms—leaving behind a beet-red, gaping Rei. As he heard the courtesans start to whisper—with some of them casting the guard envious looks—his brain processed what had just happened, and his ears turned an even darker shade of red.

Afterwards, they had a talk, in Rei’s words, about ‘the proper extent of affection to be shown in public’. After compromising, Nagisa would come to Rei after his dances and kiss his lover on the cheek instead. And while he still felt somewhat embarrassed, Rei did not try to stop the boy from thereon. When they had been courting for a while, the brunet even leaned down first to kiss Nagisa on the forehead sometimes—despite the fact that his ears still turned a nice pink under the eyes of the court. And Nagisa certainly had no protests against that, none at all. Eventually even the court got used to it, and the scene became like one of daily life.

And after all, it was not on just a few occasions that Nagisa caught sight of courtesans trying to flirt with Rei. They were not so bold about it during public events like the Sultan’s balls, but in daily life they would pop up in the palace hallways and start chatting with Rei, throwing him compliments while batting their eyes, barely trying to keep a polite distance from the guard. This would happen now and then, especially during the times that Nagisa went to visit Rei during his breaks from duty. Because he didn’t want to seem childish or do something to ruin Rei’s reputation, he initially tried to be mature about the situation and let it pass. After all, Rei had chosen him, loved him over everyone else, and Nagisa wanted to trust the man he loved.

On one such occasion, however, when a particularly persistent gaggle of courtesans had Rei closely surrounded, with one of them actually brushing their fingertips across his shoulder, Nagisa decided he’d seen enough. Emerging from between the columns behind Rei, he put a bright smile on his face as he casually barged in on the conversation. Wrapping his arms around Rei’s and casually leaning on the slightly flustered guard’s shoulder, the blonde chirped,

“Hello, there! May I join in on the conversation?” As most of the courtesans stiffened, one of them blinked her light turquoise eyes in genuine confusion.

“Excuse me? Just who might you be, sir?” At this question Rei and Nagisa exchanged looks—it seemed as if the courtesan was new to the palace. Next to her, one of the courtesans nudged her in the waist with poor discretion.

“Shh—be quiet, cousin—“ Before the lady could finish her warning, however, a bright voice cut in.

“I’m Hazuki Nagisa, Rei’s fiancé! It’s a pleasure to meet you!” As he heard Rei’s breath catch, Nagisa made sure his smile was extra sparkly—his hold around Rei’s arm tightening. As the courtesans stared in bewilderment at the pair, the brunet fought the urge to gawk at Nagisa, his cheeks heating as he rapidly tried to figure out how to react. Eventually, he composed himself enough to smile at the courtesans, albeit with a still-red face.

“We are courting, miss,” he said—the look in his eyes softening. Nagisa’s eyes widened when he felt Rei’s arm wrap around his waist and tug him closer. “We have yet to become engaged—but I would gladly be his fiancé in the future, if he would have me.” And now it was Nagisa’s turn to flush—as the blonde’s cheeks turned scarlet to match Rei’s, the courtesans seemed to visibly deflate before them—all except the girl with turquoise eyes, who actually seemed to sparkle as she smiled back at the couple.

“That’s just lovely! You make quite the picture together!” she piped back enthusiastically, surprising the couple. Before she could say more, however, her cousin pinched her in the arm, silencing her.

“We will be excusing ourselves then, General Ryuugazaki—and Hazuki-sama.” Bowing stiffly, the courtesans quickly shuffled away, dragging their cousin along with them.

“What in the world were you blabbing back at them for, Cousin? You humiliate us!”

“But they do go well together! Just because you have your eye on the General—and you said he wasn’t seeing anyone!” As the gaggle of courtesans furthered away, it was Rei who cleared his throat first.

“Nagisa—“ Ears still red, the brunet attempted to take on a scolding tone as he turned towards Nagisa and released his waist. “Why—“

“You would?” The blonde’s small voice made Rei’s stick in his throat. “You’ll become my fiancé?” For a moment, Rei gaped slightly at Nagisa, his mouth opening and shutting wordlessly. Face slightly pink, he eventually turned his face the other way in embarrassment.

“Why would you ask that, come now?” His voice was soft. The calloused hand that took Nagisa’s was warm, its hold gentle yet firm. “The answer is obvious. You are still young—and it may take some time before I ask you—but if you will have me…” As he trailed off, a flustered silence fell between them for some time.

This was ridiculous. They had been married before, even if it had been a temporary one for appearances—there was no reason for either of them to be so…

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Nagisa tugged him by the hand behind a pillar and kissed him.

“I wouldn’t have anyone else.” Rei barely caught Nagisa’s murmur before the boy stepped back with a soft smile on his face. “I’m sure of it.” Still feeling flustered, the boy turned on his heel and scampered away—leaving Rei to gape like a fish out of water for a few seconds before turning a brilliant shade of red. Slumping to the bottom of the column, he buried his face in his hand, ears quickly changing color to match his face.

So there may have been a few palace servants who witnessed the whole scene. And spread some gossip. And maybe that was why the pair ended up with the reputation they did. But maybe more of the fault lay on Nagisa, who continued to ‘politely’ join Rei’s conversations with the courtesans by sidling up to Rei. And maybe it was also Rei’s fault, for wrapping an arm around Nagisa each time to tug him closer.

It was only a matter of time before Rei and Nagisa gained a reputation throughout the palace as ‘those fools in love’. And while there had initially been talk about their marriage annulment, it was quickly replaced with the question of why they did not just stay married in the first place.

Not that either of them were exactly unhappy with the turn of events. Not at all.

Chapter Text

04. The Steps to Reconciliation

Time Setting: Hazuki Nagisa, age 18/Ryuugazaki Rei, age 25

“Well, you’re just a stuffy old man!!”

“And you are an utter child!!”

Stomping out of the study, Nagisa slammed the doors behind him. He brushed past Rei’s servants, who cast their master’s lover worried looks as he stormed away, teeth gritted and eyes threatening to water with angry tears.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Rei! Striding out of Rei’s quarters, the blonde barely avoided bumping into some palace personnel, walking quickly past the arcade and stomping down a flight of stairs towards the dancers’ quarters. I’m never talking to him again! he fumed in his head as he turned the corner in the hall. That stupid insensitive jerk!! I hate him!! I hate, hate, hate—

…

“He hates me now! What’ll I do, Ai-chan…?!” As Nagisa sat curled up in the kitchen storage room thirty minutes later, face buried in his arms and sniffling, Nitori sighed and set down the basket of carrots he was holding.

“This is the fifth time you’ve come crying to me this month, Nagisa-kun.” Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, the grey-haired boy walked over to stand before his friend. “What was the argument about this time?”

“I…sniff…I don’t remember…” And there it was again, the déjà vu. Now letting his eyes roll, Nitori sighed again as he sat down next to the blonde.

Around a year had passed since Nagisa and Rei had started courting, and while things were usually—sometimes overwhelmingly—sweet between the couple, it was a different story when they fought. When they were mad at each other, it was just as obvious to the whole palace as when they were sweet with each other—Nagisa stomping around the halls with a pout on his face, Rei with a stormy look in his eyes and being tougher on his men than usual.

Nitori had overheard some of their fights, and sometimes they made him a little astonished. Never had the grey-haired boy expected to see such childish behavior from Rei—after all, Nitori’s former master had always acted composed and mature before Nagisa came along. He supposed that because of Rei’s age and outward personality, he had forgotten—that like Nagisa, the older man lacked experience when it came to romantic relationships. Not that Nitori himself had much experience, but with these two it occasionally got to the point that he was wringing his hands in frustration.

Then again, perhaps he was being unfair—compared to the beginning, it did seem like they were learning from their past experience. After all, Nagisa curling up in the kitchen storage room had happened ten times the month before. Nitori supposed he should be glad for the progress—

“Sorry, Ai-chan—“ Hearing Nagisa shift on top of the carton, the grey-haired boy looked up from his thoughts. “I know I’ve been bothering you a lot recently—even though you must be busy with your apprentice work and all—“ It was nearing two months since Nitori had been reassigned to the palace kitchens—Nagisa had initially been stunned to find out that his friend had cooked some of the meals that he and Rei shared. Although he no longer lived in Rei’s quarters, the thought that his friend would no longer be there when he visited had made Nagisa feel a little lonely. Not that that had stopped him from seeing the grey-haired boy—he stopped by the royal kitchen regularly to sneak some treats and chat, not just when he fought with Rei and wanted to vent. Knowing this, Nitori sighed and smiled at Nagisa

“It’s all right, Nagisa-kun. I’m getting used to it, at least,” he responded teasingly. When Nagisa still didn’t smile back, he patted the boy on the back.

“You know Rei-san can never hate you. After all, he made up with you for the last...how many fights has it been?” Nagisa threw Nitori a look as he jabbed him lightly in the ribs.

“Oh, shut up!” As Nitori laughed, Nagisa ended up laughing as well. Hearing the boys’ laughter from the storage, the head chef could not help but smile, deciding he would let them talk just a little longer. When they calmed down, Nitori noticed the leather cord around Nagisa’s neck—the one that he had fashioned for Nagisa to hang his key to Rei’s study. Now alongside the bronze key, there was also a silver key, one that could unlock the door to Rei’s quarters as well. Rei had let his lover keep both, so that Nagisa could come and visit him freely—which the blonde did with liberation, as he was in and out of those quarters often.

“—he always comes and apologizes first, you know?” Nagisa’s voice brought Nitori back to the present. The boy looked guilty as his fingers gripped the edge of his shawl, eyes on the floor. “I, I guess that says something about our age gap—no wonder he thinks I’m a child.” Seeing Nagisa’s shoulders droop, Nitori’s eyes softened with sympathy for a moment. Then, remembering the keys around his friend’s neck, the grey-haired boy had an idea.

“Wait, Nagisa-kun—I have something to give you.”

“?” As Nagisa looked on curiously, Nitori slipped out of the storage room. When he returned, he was holding a strawberry tart in his hand with a mischievous smile on his face.

“Eh? You’re actually sneaking me a treat, Ai-chan?” As Nagisa’s eyes widened, Nitori’s smile widened as well.

“It’s a new desert I created!” he explained cheerfully. “And actually, it’s more for Rei-san!” At this, Nagisa’s eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“Are you saying I should take this to him? But Rei doesn’t like sweets—“

“Oh, trust me—he will like this one!” Nitori replied cheerfully. “Now, here’s the plan—“ Leaning over, he began whispering into Nagisa’s ear.

…

‘Well, you’re just a stuffy old man!!’

Stab. As he recalled Nagisa’s heated words, Rei nearly tripped from their staggering weight. Steadying himself by grabbing onto a column, the man sighed dejectedly. As he walked back to his quarters from his day of duties, each echo of the words in his head stabbed his heart a little.

“’Old man’…” Sighing once more, the twenty-five-year-old stopped at the door to his quarters. Taking out a silver key from his pocket, he turned the lock and walked in, closing the door behind him.

Indeed, he was the older one in their relationship—and not by just a few years, either. After every fight with Nagisa, Rei always found himself regretting his actions in the end. As the adult, he told himself, he should have been more patient, had the sense to lose the fight once they got themselves into one. It had been easier towards the beginning of their relationship, when both of them had been more careful about arguing with each other. But as they grew closer over the months and grew more comfortable with each other, the fights grew more frequent as well.

It wasn’t as if he was falling out of love. On the contrary, Rei’s feelings for Nagisa were growing stronger by the day. Maybe that was why the blonde’s actions had such an effect on him—they caused him to lose his rationality, react more spontaneously with his emotions—

‘Not that that’s a bad thing, Glasses. But when it’s during a lovers’ quarrel and both of you behave like brats, that’s a different story.’ Remembering Rin’s ‘friendly’ advice, Rei sighed once more as he rubbed his temple tiredly. Though he hated to admit it, Rin was right. The hour was getting late, so he would have to put it off until the next day, but Rei decided that he would go to Nagisa and apologize first. He had done so many times before, and thankfully Nagisa tended to relent after the first few apologies. Shuddering to think what would happen if they were ever to have a big fight, Rei proceeded to his study to do his paperwork as usual.

What he did not expect when he unlocked the study door was to see the lanterns in the study already lit. Blinking in puzzlement, Rei looked around the room, which seemed to be empty at first glance.

“Is anyone in here?” he called. Some of the few people who had access to his study were his servants, who unlocked the room to clean it during the day. But it was evening, and long past time for any servants to be cleaning his quarters. Rei blinked—that left just himself, and one more person—

“Rei.” The brunet jumped in surprise as he turned towards the source of the voice. It was Nagisa—he had slipped out from behind the moveable bookcases in the back of the study. Unlike his usual self, the blonde looked timid—his hands fumbling with the edge of his shawl as he bit his lip uncertainly. Startled to see his lover again, and sooner than he had expected, Rei stared at Nagisa with wide eyes.

“Nagisa—what are you—“ He blinked, thinking that maybe he should be saying his apologies first. “No—wait. Nagisa, about this afternoon—“

“I’m sorry, Rei!” The brunet stopped short when he heard the blurted apology. “I—I’m sorry.” As Rei stared at Nagisa with surprise, the boy continued, burgundy eyes glowing with sincerity. “I—I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to say it. You always find me and apologize first—and you shouldn’t have to. I was being stubborn and stupid and uncompromising and I know you always try to give in first because I’m younger than you—but you shouldn’t have to. I was being a brat, shouting and stomping away like that—and by the time I went to Ai-chan I didn’t even remember what we were fighting about in the first place.” As Nagisa paused for breath, Rei took the time to register all that he had said.

“Nagisa—“ As he took a step closer to Nagisa, Rei smelled it—a sweet scent that was coming from the boy. Blinking, Rei’s eyes coincidentally landed on Nagisa’s lips—

Even under the lamplight, they seemed red—redder than usual. The color stood out against the boy’s creamy complexion, an accent to those burgundy eyes framed under long blond lashes, eyes that glowed ruby as they reflected the flame in the nearest lantern. Noticing Rei’s stare, Nagisa blushed as he hesitantly said,

“Rei?” The short utterance of his name was enough to send that sweet smell towards Rei once more. In a slight daze, the brunet thought he could tell what the scent was—

Strawberries. It suited him, the scent. The color that it left behind on his lips—that suited him as well. It was sweet—fragrant—attractive—

Hypnotizing. Before he knew it, Rei’s throat had turned dry. Before he could stop himself, he spoke, voice coming out hushed and slightly hoarse.

“May I kiss you?”

When Nagisa’s eyes flew open a little, Rei started to panic—they were in the middle of reconciling, for God’s sake, what had he just said out loud? But when he saw his lover’s cheeks flush darker, followed by a few short nods, all other thoughts flew from his head once more. Reaching Nagisa in one stride, Rei took the blonde by the shoulders and kissed him—deeply. As their lips connected over and over, warm and soft and wet, the scent of strawberries flooded Rei’s senses again. Somewhere in the middle his hands dropped from Nagisa’s shoulders to his waist, and Nagisa had looped his arms around Rei’s neck. Somehow, within the next five minutes, Nagisa’s legs were wrapped around Rei’s waist, the blonde perched on Rei’s desk, with his back against a bookcase—both their bodies growing warmer as they made out.

Truth be told, it was not the first time that this had occurred. There had been several instances where Nagisa had been seated in Rei’s lap to be read to, or in the middle of a lesson with Rei, or when they were just talking and laughing—and one thing had led to another. Sometimes they were even caught making out in the study by the servants—they always knocked before coming in, but at times both of them were too occupied with each other to hear the sound.

But this time, it was different. It was the first time that they were doing this after a fight—and an apology. As Rei began to trail kisses down the side of Nagisa’s neck, he replayed his lover’s words in his head once more. The blonde shivered slightly as Rei paused his lips over a sensitive spot on his neck, gently applying pressure on his skin with them. Between his kisses, the brunet paused to speak, his voice soft as he showered his lover with physical affection.

“I’m sorry.” A gentle hand tilted Nagisa’s head up as Rei proceeded to kiss his Adam’s apple. “I was not entirely mature about the situation either.” He heard Nagisa let out a small sigh as he trailed his lips down the blonde’s neck. “I should have yielded—but when it comes to you—“ He pressed his lips to the boy’s collarbone, sliding them along its ridge. “—I lose control of my emotions.” As he said these last words, Rei looked up to meet Nagisa in the eye—the fierce glow in those violet irises taking his breath away.

“If nothing else, then please—remember that it’s because you mean the world to me.”

At these words, Nagisa suddenly felt tears prick the back of his eyes. Blinking furiously, he leaned forward to brush his lips against Rei’s again, three times. When they parted, the blonde opened his mouth.

“Even if I’m a bratty child?” Under the lamplight, Rei’s eyes grew slightly dark as he held Nagisa’s gaze.

“I would never do this with someone—“ His hand went up to Nagisa’s shoulder, his long fingers lifting the vest off, sliding it down the blonde’s arm. “—that I saw as a child.” He then proceeded to press kisses down Nagisa’s shoulder, making the boy shiver again.

“…It’s the same…with me.” Rei looked up when he felt a cool hand on his face. “I would never do this with you if I…if I didn’t see you in that way.” Here, the blonde’s murmur took on a teasing tone. “Even if you are an old man!” At this, Rei flushed as his brow furrowed.

“Nagisa—!” Laughing at Rei’s reproach, Nagisa leaned over and pecked the guard on the forehead.

“Sorry—I’m just teasing.” Under the lamplight his burgundy eyes twinkled. Sighing in resignation, Rei straightened up, looping his arms back around the blonde’s waist and receiving a contented hum in response.

“You really don’t remember what we fought about?” Rei murmured. He received a sheepish grin in response.

“Not really—do you, Rei?” The older man sighed.

“Do you really want to know?” Just thinking of what they had started fighting about made Rei feel embarrassed. Nagisa giggled as he placed his hands on Rei’s shoulders.

“Maybe later?” As he spoke, the scent of strawberries wafted towards Rei once again.

“Did you already have dinner?” he asked curiously. When Nagisa just stared at him for a moment, Rei blushed, hastily explaining himself. “I mean—just, you tas—smell like strawberries—“ Rei had thought the scent was from having after-dinner desert, since it was late into the evening…was it just his imagination, or did Nagisa’s eyes look a little shifty? Cheeks pink, the boy finally said,

“It’s a treat that Ai-chan gave me.” He really was avoiding Rei’s eyes. Thinking that he might be onto something, Rei decided to press the blonde further.

“And…?” Blushing harder, Nagisa finally replied in a small voice.

“He said—that it would help us make up.” As Rei’s eyes widened, Nagisa continued with embarrassment. “That it’d—makeyouwanttoeatme.” As he said the last words in a rush, he ducked his head—a prominent flush spreading to his ears.

“…Eh?” It took Rei some time to process Nagisa’s words—and when he did, his face and neck erupted into flames.

Now that he thought about it, Nagisa usually wore jewelry around his neck—as well as a veil over his head. But now—both of those items were missing. And Rei had not realized this earlier because he had been surprised to see Nagisa at the study, trying to reconcile with him—

So from the beginning—his lover had come to him with this whole scenario in mind?

Nagisa squeaked with surprise when Rei buried his burning face in the crook of his neck.

“R-Rei?!”

“—That’s just—“ As the lamplight flickered overhead, Nagisa caught sight of Rei’s brilliant red ears. Turning a matching shade of red himself, the boy sat still for a while, feeling warm and bashful in Rei’s arms.

“—Are we going to continue?” When the blonde’s small voice spoke at last, Rei slowly raised his head from the crook of his neck.

“Do I have a choice?” He leaned forward and Nagisa closed his eyes.

Just as their lips were about to meet, the door swung open and Officer Mikoshiba entered the room.

“General Rei! His Highness has invited you to dine with hi—“ When his eyes fell on the startled couple, the orange-haired man paused for a moment before laughing cheerily. “No worries! I’ll tell his majesty that you two are busy!”

“Wait—General Mikoshiba!” Before Rei could sputter out an explanation, the door closed—leaving the red-faced couple to gape at it for a few seconds.

“—Pft!” It was Nagisa who started to laugh first. And although Rei was flustered, he soon joined in. As the two of them laughed, a rumbling sound came from Rei’s stomach, making the guard blush.

“I, uhm, I have yet to eat dinner,” he said sheepishly.

“Me too.” Now that Rei mentioned it, Nagisa was feeling a little hungry himself. “How about we continue this later? After dinner with Sultan Rin-Rin?” he added, with a cheeky smile. Blushing a little, Rei smiled back.

“That sounds agreeable.” And with that, Rei backed up so Nagisa could hop off the desk. As they headed out of Rei’s quarters and towards the top floor of the palace, their hands naturally linked together, their fingers intertwining. When they entered the royal dining room with joined hands, Rin took one look at them and groaned.

“You idiots made up already? And just when I was looking forward to seeing you bite each others’ head off at dinner!”

“Your Majesty!” As a blushing Rei exclaimed in protest, Nagisa burst into laughter.

“Aw, it’s nice to know you care, Your Highness Rin-Rin!”

“DON’T CALL ME THAT, BRAT!!”

Needless to say, dinner was a livelier hour than Rin had expected. When dessert came out, however, the redhead noted the conspicuous blushes on the couple’s faces and decided that he would keep it in his memory to tease them later.

Chapter Text

05. Blinding Sun

Time Setting: Nitori Aiichirou, age 19 / Matsuoka Rin, age 23
Flashbacks of Nitori Aiichirou, age 8~9/ Matsuoka Rin, age 12~13

‘Only a pinch more of salt, my darling! Then you have the perfect dish!’

Clang. Nitori snapped out of his thoughts, jarred by the sound of the pan that had dropped from his hands. Fortunately, he had emptied the contents onto a dish before accidentally dropping it. Hastily bending down, the grey-haired boy picked up the pan from the floor and placed it on the pile of cookware to wash. From his station in the royal kitchen, the head chef raised a brow at his apprentice.

“Why don’t you go and take a break, Nitori? If you work too long at the furnace in this heat, you’ll get a stroke.”

“Ah—I’m fine, sir!” Nitori replied quickly. “I was just—“

“Daydreaming?” The head chef smiled understandingly at him. “Take some time off to daydream then—and wipe the sweat off your brow. It’ll get in the food, and His Majesty wouldn’t be too happy about that.” At the mention of the Sultan, Nitori blushed a little—before quickly willing it away.

“—Yes, sir. Then I will excuse myself.” Taking off his cap, the grey-haired boy left the kitchen through the back door, walking out into the hall. He began passing the shadowy arcades, the pillars silhouetted by the blinding sunlight—until he came to a stop next to one pillar.

Laying a palm on the warm marble, Nitori turned to look out the arcade. The summer sky nearly matched the color of his eyes—a blue so bright that it dazzled him. There was so much sunlight pouring from the sky that it even seemed to make a sound, a small buzzing noise that stirred in the boy’s ears. And then, there were noises of metal clinging against metal coming from the courtyard. Nitori’s eyes took on a faraway look as the sound echoed in his head.

‘That’s how you parry! Now thrust!’

His eyes snapped wide open as the sound of a saber dropping to the ground brought him back to the present.

“Rei~~!” Hearing a familiar voice from the courtyard, Nitori blinked. Squinting his eyes in the sunlight, he strained his eyes to see who was sparring—and recognized a familiar crop of blonde hair. In the courtyard, Nagisa pouted as he shot the blue-haired man above him a reproachful look. “You’re so mean—you really aren’t going the slightest bit easy on me!” Nitori could see Rei smile as he reached down and helped his lover up.

“It is only logical, as an opponent in real life would not go easy on you either, Nagisa.” For a moment the boy’s pout deepened—which soon reverted to a mischievous grin.

“Really?” Suddenly, he tugged Rei closer by the hand until their faces were barely an inch away, batting his eyelashes. “Even if I did this?” Rei momentarily froze—and only the gentle touch of a blade’s flat against his neck brought him back to the present. The brunet sputtered slightly as he pulled away from Nagisa and readjusted his glasses.

“Y-you know that would not work on everyone!” he stuttered. Laughing, Nagisa tucked the dagger back into his belt and turned around to pick up the saber—and saw Nitori standing under the arcade.

“Ah—it’s Ai-chan!” Raising an arm, the blonde waved energetically at his friend. “Ai-chan~! Over here~!” Learning that they had an audience, Rei blushed slightly from behind him. Nitori smiled as he waved back.

“Nagisa-kun, Rei-san, good afternoon!” he called. As if on second thought, Nagisa asked,

“What’s the dessert for today’s banquet~?!” From beside him, Rei rolled his eyes good-naturedly, with an affectionate smile on his face.

“That’s a secret~!” They were strawberry tarts—Nitori was sure Nagisa would remember them, as would Rei. Back then he had added a special ingredient to empower the fragrance—but to this day he had kept it a secret from the unknowing couple. “See you both later!” With that, the grey-haired boy waved again and left the arcade. As he watched his friend go, the smile slipped from Nagisa’s face and was replaced with a slight frown. Noticing this, Rei asked,

“What is wrong, Nagisa?” The blonde’s brow smoothed a little as he looked up at his lover.

“Just—it seems like Ai-chan’s always a little off in the summer,” he explained, his eyes traveling back to the now-empty arcade. “Usually he stays and chats a little longer—not that I’ve seen him for many summers but…” As he trailed off, an understanding formed in Rei’s head.

“He was first brought to the palace during the summer.” As Nagisa turned towards him with surprise, Rei explained. “General Mikoshiba found him and brought him here to work, many years ago. He was around your age when I first met you. It was just as hot as it is now.” Remembering what Nitori had told him about using to live in the slums, Nagisa blinked with realization.

“Oh…” His eyes grew a little somber. “Did something happen to Ai-chan back then?”

“…It is something that happened to us as well.” Rei’s voice was quiet as he looped an arm around Nagisa’s waist. “From what I know, he was an orphan since the beginning—but he had someone that was like a mother to him.” Nagisa blinked.

“’Had’?” he repeated.

“…When the General found him, he was alone.” Rei’s eyes took on a somber look as he thought of his own parents at the same time. “So I cannot be sure when…but perhaps…”

‘Perhaps she passed away during the summer.’

When he was found on the doorsteps of a noble’s house as a newborn nineteen years ago, with only a note spelling his name and the cloth wrapped around him, Nitori’s fate had been sealed. It had marked the beginning of the first eight years of his life spent in slavery. And the female slave who had first discovered him had been in charge of raising him. These years were both some of the most hellish, and happiest, years of his life.

Under the rule of the previous Sultan, slavery had still been very much legal in Iwatobi. The slave trade fed the kingdom’s economy—it fed the pockets of the slave traders, as well as the mouths of the nobility. Because of his biological parents and the slavery laws of the kingdom, Nitori spent every year from the moment he could walk being worked to the bone. During these years he carried the belongings of other people, cleaned dishes that others ate off of, worked in his master’s fields to harvest crops that would feed other people’s mouths. If he was slow or disobedient—often the former—he was beaten by his master. If he was in sight, he was bullied and kicked and hit by his master’s sons. Sometimes he felt tears prick the back of his eyes at night, as he shared the cramped straw mattress with the other slaves. But when he felt her comforting arms wrap around him, he could forget about his hardships.

She was also a slave, but she was strong. She could lift twice the load as the male slaves in the fields, could beat all of them at arm wrestling and sparring. And she was a good cook—the master had his hired chefs, but she had been the only slave that was allowed into the kitchen, to make food for the other slaves to eat. She found Nitori on the doorstep nineteen years ago, and for eight years she taught him things—how to fight with his hands and a sword, how to cook, and how to laugh in the face of hardship.

She was the closest thing Nitori had ever had to a mother—or perhaps, it was more fitting to say she had been like an older sister to him. She had always called him ‘little brother’, after all—even though they had no blood ties to each other. After all, she said, she wasn’t that old yet. She was young—she had dark skin and freckles and dark hair, and eyes that always sparkled when she smiled. Nitori always thought that she was beautiful.

It was in the summer, when the truth reached their mistress’s ears. Their master blamed her with lies, calling her a siren, a seductress, a whore—and many other things that did not fit her at all. And that summer was the last time that Nitori would ever see her.

The night of the day that he lost her, he ran away from his master’s house. He spent about a month wandering through the slums until he was caught by General Mikoshiba while trying to steal food. The orange-haired man brought him back to the palace, and since then, Nitori continued to do the same things—carry loads, do the laundry, clean the halls, wash the dishes. However, he was no longer beaten or bullied for no reason, and he would forever be grateful to the General for his kindness.

But she was no longer there. And he missed her—missed her every summer, when the sunlight became so bright that it nearly blinded his eyes. She had always said that she loved his eyes—eyes that reflected the summer sky, she had used to say.

Since then Nitori had never once spoken her name. Since then, he had hated the color of the summer sky. It reminded him too much of the time she had been taken away. He never wanted to see the sky in his eyes again.

Until one day—when he saw red with the blue.

“I wonder how we can cheer him up.”

They were sitting together in their secret courtyard, resting from their sparring session. Under the shade of the palm tree, Rei looked down at Nagisa, whose brow was furrowed thoughtfully.

“Do you mean Nitori?” The blonde nodded as he swung his legs back and forth on the grass.

“Ai-chan’s always helping me out, you know?” He smiled at Rei. “Back when you were being an idiot and hiding your feelings from me, he always gave me encouragement—and even after that, sometimes.” Humming while trying not to blush too much, Rei casually reached over and took Nagisa’s hand.

“I suppose I should be grateful to him for that as well, then,” he murmured. Laughing, the blonde cradled closer against Rei’s side, leaning into his shoulder.

“You know, I think Ai-chan likes His Highness Rin-Rin.” At this, Rei looked up with surprise.

“You noticed, Nagisa?” Hearing the question, Nagisa blinked as well.

“You too, Rei?” The brunet looked a little abashed as he nodded.

“I—noticed it some years ago.” He didn’t mention the fact that he noticed Nitori’s feelings for Rin because…well, because Rei himself had been in the same situation just some years ago. “I thought—since you didn’t mention it or tease him about it at all, I thought you were unaware.” Nagisa pouted a little.

“Geez—do you really see me as that tactless?” Rei chuckled in response.

“You always struck me as the type to tease, Nagisa. And you do tease—to a great extent.” Seeing Rei laugh, Nagisa let his pout slide off and relented.

“Okay, so I might have—but he’s really careful about it, you know?” He cupped his chin in one hand thoughtfully. “About not letting it show, I mean—I only caught him looking at Rin-Rin during all the banquets when he thought no one was watching. Whenever you or I mention His Highness in front of him, he never even blinks an eye.” He started to trace circles in the grass with one finger as he spoke.

“And well, it’s not like I don’t get why—I mean, Rin-Rin’s the Sultan and all—I get it, you know? That’s why I never said anything about it. But still…” He recalled the faraway look Nitori got in his eyes each time he looked at Rin from afar. “I just wish—that they had a chance to meet somehow, you know?” His gaze softened as he looked up at Rei. “Just like how you came to me—even if it wasn’t exactly ideal for us.” Hearing this, Rei blushed—leaning over, the man pressed a soft kiss to Nagisa’s hair.

“I understand.” He more than understood—he did not want to imagine what his life would be like now, if he had not acted on his feelings two years ago. On one hand, Rei did not think it was exactly in his place to do something about Nitori’s one-sided love—but on the other hand…

“There’s nothing wrong with creating an opportunity—is there?”

But on the other hand, his lover was fixing a doe-eyed gazed on him. Which may have partly motivated Rei to respond the way he did.

“I—I suppose not.” When Nagisa let out a cheer, Rei immediately dropped his face in his palm, as if knowing that he was doomed upon agreeing.

“All right! Now it’s time for us to play the cupids!” Pumping an energetic fist in the air, Nagisa stood up, tugging Rei off the grass as well. “Let’s get to it!”

It was a month after his arrival at the palace when Nitori was first sent to the top floor.

One of the servants who worked at the top floor had fallen ill, and most of the other servants were busy preparing for the banquet that was to be held that night. In an especially busy and stressful moment, the head servant had taken one look at the grey-haired boy, who was very young but known to be diligent and good at his work, and sent him up as a replacement.

‘Just stop by the laundry room on the thirteenth floor, request five freshly ironed towels, make sure they are folded neatly, head to the bath chamber with the rose doors—here are the keys—enter quietly, place the towels at the far edge of the bath, and leave. Quietly. You must make sure your presence remains absolutely unnoticed—do you understand?’

Remembering the instructions, Nitori swallowed nervously as he traveled up the steps, a basket of towels in his arms. He found his way to the baths, spotted the marble doors with roses carved into them, and stopped. Taking the key out of his pocket, he inserted it in the keyhole and turned the lock, which opened with a heavy click. Taking a deep breath, the boy slowly grabbed the handles and pushed the doors open.

Immediately, he was blinded by the bleached white of marble—the stone reflecting the strong rays of the summer sun. Hastily tucking the towels under one arm, Nitori shaded his eyes with one hand, squinting at the scene before him. Once his eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight, he noticed that the pillars did not rise to a ceiling, but towards the open sky. From the outside, he had not realized that the chamber was an open bath. Averting his eyes, Nitori looked back at the chamber itself and saw it.

The tub in the middle was a square one, filled with clear water—the surface glassy and reflecting the bright blue sky overhead. But that was not all. There were things floating on top of the water—

Petals. Rose petals. They floated atop the glassy expanse of sky-blue, their hue a rich red. It took some time for Nitori to register what they were. Blinking, he began to wonder how they had gotten there when a sudden SPLASH snapped him out of his thoughts.

A streak of panic traveled through him—remembering the instruction that he was to strictly remain out of sight, Nitori quickly ducked behind one of the pillars. Thankfully, his stature was small and the pillar wide enough to hide his entire form.

He heard more splashes, followed by the sound of a contented sigh. Cautiously, Nitori peered out from behind the pillar—

“Ahhh~~! As expected, this is nice~!” When he heard the voice, the grey-haired boy jumped with surprise before ducking back behind the pillar.

“Swimming in a bath full of rose petals—that’s the life!” Hearing these words, Nitori slowly peered out with curiosity. When he saw who was in the bath, his eyes widened.

Floating in the middle of the bath was an adolescent boy, his eyes closed as he seemed to lie atop the sky. His wine-red hair pooled around his head as he floated, with a broad grin on his face that exuded confidence. Blinking his eyes in fascination, Nitori continued to observe the boy, who—to his surprise—suddenly snapped his head up in the water.

Again, Nitori nearly had a heart attack as he jumped further behind the pillar. His heart beat wildly in his chest as he gripped the marble, hard. That had been close—too close. He really should set the towels down, he thought—he really should leave—

Scarlet. He thought he had caught a flash of scarlet eyes before he hid himself.

Red, white, and bright blue. The colors nearly hurt Nitori’s eyes. And yet—

Somehow, he could not move. From his position behind the pillar, Nitori peered out and watched—as the boy waded around in the bath, with that spark in his red eyes and that cheeky, confident smile on his face.

That was the day that Nitori first lay eyes on Rin, eleven years ago.

Eleven years later, the summer sky that hung over the palace was just as blue. Nitori only realized that he had been staring at it for a long time when a voice called out to him.

“Ai-chan!” Recognizing the voice as Nagisa’s, Nitori turned to find his friend standing behind him under the arcade. “What’re you doing?”

“Ah—“ Blinking, Nitori smiled up at Nagisa. “I was just admiring the sky, Nagisa-kun.” As he said this, Rei came up from behind Nagisa, clearing his throat.

“Nitori—the head servant has informed me that there is a special guest bathing in the lilac baths today, who needs tending to. They are short on servants today because of preparations for tonight’s banquet. He has asked that anyone who is free go and serve him.” Immediately, Nitori stood up with an understanding smile.

“Then I shall go and tend to the guest—thank you, Rei-san.” Eleven years of serving on various floors had made Nitori able to do pretty much anything that might be a servant’s duty in the palace. Knowing his skill, the head servant often tended to ask him for favors like these. “See you both later!” With that, the grey-haired boy was headed for the laundry room to gather fresh towels. When he was safely out of sight, Rei sighed in relief and Nagisa grinned triumphantly.

“I knew it would sound more convincing coming from you, Rei!” In response, Rei readjusted his glasses—a habit that also surfaced when he felt guilty about something.

“I do hope we do not lose his trust later on.” Nagisa laughed.

“Oh, it’ll be all right. He’ll thank us later!” Linking arms with Rei, the blonde said, “Let’s drop by the kitchen now and see what the dessert is!” Sighing in defeat, Rei let himself be tugged forward by his lover—wishing Nitori luck in his mind.

After that day, Nitori took all the opportunities he had to travel to the top floor. Under the previous Sultan’s rule banquets were held frequently, and the head servant was often asked to send replacements there. And every time the head servant would be met with the wide blue eyes of the young boy, which sparkled as they stared up hopefully at him, small hands clenched into anticipating fists at his sides. Sighing, the head servant had then sent Nitori up—there were no complaints about his service after all, even if he was just a child.

Sometimes he was sent to the baths, where he saw the Prince lie on the sky’s surface, sometimes with the rose petals that matched his eyes. Other times he was sent to leave snacks or books by the royal playroom, where the Prince and the Princess, his younger sister, spent much of their afternoons. The rules were always the same—he had to keep his presence unseen and unheard. Leave the towels, the books, the snacks—then leave quietly. And he did—but he allowed himself to linger longer than he strictly should. As long as he kept himself hidden, he reasoned, there would be no harm done.

His first impression of Rin was that he was bold, cheerful and confident. Whenever he was in a good mood, there were rose petals floating in his bath, and he dived in with a jubilance that made Nitori want to smile and laugh as well. The way he swaggered about, held himself with pride, a confident grin on his face as he declared what was on his mind—it was not only funny and endearing, but even admirable at times. But after watching Rin take care of Gou, spoiling her to her heart’s content and struggling to cheer her up—Nitori knew there was more. During these times his confidence faded and was replaced by brotherly love—whether it was a doting smile for his sister or a look of panic when she burst into tears every so often. Sometimes Nitori found himself envying Gou—but most of the time, he envied the relationship that the royal siblings had. He had never had siblings, after all—and the person who came closest to one for him—

Was no longer here. Each time he remembered this, a hollow pain stirred in Nitori’s heart—and each time it did, he would leave the books and snacks and leave quietly.

There were also days when Rin was not his usual self. Days when he did not splash around in the bath, and there were no rose petals floating around him. Days when he would sit with a moody look on his face as Gou tried to cheer him up. They worried Nitori—and the next time he made his deliveries for the Prince, the boy would ask for an extra book or snack, ask for extra fluffy towels from the laundry room. He never got to see the Prince’s face as he used them, but Nitori hoped that they would make his day better, even by a little.

Stopping by the laundry room, Nitori smiled amicably at the launderer.

“May I have towels for the baths?” The launderer smiled back at him and grabbed some from a stack.

“Here you go, dear—the head servant sure likes to ask for your help, doesn’t he?” Nitori laughed.

“It’s no problem—thank you!” Taking the towels, the grey-haired boy left the laundry room to head for the lilac baths. He hummed thoughtfully as he passed the arcades, turning the corner and heading up the stairs. Wiping the beads of sweat that were forming on his brow, Nitori reached the foot of the stairs and headed down the first hall to the right.

Once in front of the doors with lilac carvings, he stopped and balanced the basket of towels on one arm. Quietly, he grasped the handle and pushed the door open, as he had done so many times in the past.

He was nearly blinded by the marble, which reflected the strong summer sunlight on its creamy surface. Feeling a strong sense of déjà vu, Nitori shaded his eyes with one hand as he looked up and saw the open sky. He had forgotten that the lilac baths was an open bath—straining his eyes, the boy looked past the first few pillars towards the bathtub—

And nearly dropped the basket of towels in shock.

It was on a summer day, one year later, when he heard those fateful words.

As nine-year-old Nitori climbed the stairs to the top floor, basket of towels in one hand, he wiped the sweat on his forehead with the back of his arm. It was that time of the year again, when the unforgiving rays of sun asserted their presence, announced the beginning of a scorching summer. He tried not to think too much about her as he passed by the arcade, ignoring the blue sky between pillars, and stopped in front of the rose door. Taking the key from his pocket, he unlocked the door and pushed it open.

Just as before, the marble was blinding. He squinted his eyes as they got used to the sun, walked towards the tub with his towels. He thought that he would have to hide himself behind the pillar again—but this time, the tub was empty. No rose petals, no red-haired boy to be seen. Blinking in puzzlement, Nitori wondered if he had been sent to the wrong chamber—

“AHHHHH!!!!!!”

When he heard Rin’s voice give a full-throated yell, Nitori nearly dropped the towels as he gave a startled jump. Scrambling to catch the basket, his wide eyes turned in the direction of the voice—and found the redhead standing at the arcade to the far side of the chamber. Immediately, Nitori ducked himself behind the nearest column—as Rin continued to shout.

“I CAN DO IT!!” Blinking, Nitori peered out from behind the column. The angle made it so that he was able to see Rin’s face—his cheeks were flushed slightly, his eyes glowing with determination as he belted out his words towards the sky.

“I’LL BECOME SULTAN ONE DAY!!” he continued to yell, his hands cupped around his mouth. “I’LL CHANGE THIS SCREWED-UP KINGDOM!!! I’LL BE IN CHARGE OF THE WATER!!! I’LL GIVE IT TO THE THIRSTIEST OF MY SUBJECTS AND NO ONE WILL STOP ME!!!” As Nitori’s eyes widened, the Prince continued to shout.

“I’LL WIPE THOSE SMUG GRINS OFF THOSE RICH COURT SNOBS!!! I’LL BEAT DOWN ALL THOSE BASTARDS IN THE ROYAL ARMY!!! AND I’LL MAKE SURE EVERY SERVANT GETS A DAMN WAGE—I’LL FREE EVERY SINGLE SLAVE UNDER MY RULE, DAMMIT!!!”

The breath caught in Nitori’s throat as he remembered. Eight years he had spent, carrying the belongings of others, cleaning dishes that others ate off of, worked in the fields to feed others’ mouths. Eight years he had spent with her—and lost her to the chains of slavery. He felt tears prick the back of his eyes as Rin continued.

“I’LL DO IT ALL, GOD DAMMIT—SO WATCH ME, MOTHER!! I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO MAKE UP FOR EVERY SHITTY THING THAT’S HAPPENED IN THIS KINGDOM BUT I’LL DIE TRYING, AND SO HELP ME!!!!” He squeezed his eyes shut as he yelled,

“THIS SKY IS TOO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL FOR THIS HELL!!!!!”

Nitori stood behind the pillar, his eyes reflecting the sky, glassy and full of tears. And then, suddenly, a flurry of red flooded his sight.

Rose petals. They floated in the air before Rin, who had thrown them in the air. His arm was extended in the air, palm open as they drifted down towards him. Some of them landed on his wine-red hair, which began to flutter as an almost miraculous breeze traveled through the arcade.

‘Your eyes are lovely, Ai. Just like the summer sky!’

It was beautiful. The red, and the sky blue—blinding, but beautiful. The sky was finally beautiful again. He held back a sob as he saw Rin making his confident grin.

To Nitori, he was blinding. Just like the summer sun.

“? The hell? Who’s there?”

As nineteen-year-old Nitori stood frozen behind the pillar, twenty-three-year-old Rin looked up from under an arch in the bath chamber. He stood at the arcade with only a towel around his hips, the bright blue sky outside framing his silhouette, making his wine-red hair and scarlet eyes stand out. Blinking quizzically, Rin shrugged, wondering if he had imagined the sound. Yawning, he stretched out his arms and gave his neck a few cracks before walking back towards the tub. As he heard the Sultan slide into the water, Nitori sank quietly to the floor behind the pillar, eyes wide and face completely flushed, heart beating wildly.

‘There is a special guest bathing in the lilac baths today who needs tending to.’ Remembering Rei’s words and Nagisa smiling from behind him, Nitori’ frowned as he blushed harder.

Nagisa-kun, I’m going to kill you!! In the tub, Rin sighed contentedly as he leaned his arms back against the tub.

“A bath full of rose petals, eh?” Chuckling, he sank deeper into the water. “The things I used to do as a kid.” Tilting his head back, he closed his eyes as he sat in the tub.

Overhead, the sun shone bright like a new coin in the summer sky.

Chapter Text

06. Family Dinners and Private Conversations

Time Setting: Hazuki Nagisa, age 18 / Ryuugazaki Rei, age 25

“After all, it is the early bird that catches the worm!”

Both Rei and Nagisa nearly spat out their drinks as the brunette woman across from them said these words. Noting that his lover was on the verge of choking to death, Nagisa quickly whacked him in the back, his own face still a bright red. Blinking her hazel eyes quizzically, Sasabe Miho looked back and forth between her nephew and his lover.

“My, my—are you all right, Rei dear?” As she tilted her head in puzzlement, Sasabe Gorou reentered the dining room, oblivious to the turmoil that his wife had caused.

“Sorry to keep you all waiting!” he boomed cheerfully. “It was just a telegram from an old client—oho, Rei! Did you choke on a piece of lamb? You sound like you’re coughing for your dear life, my nephew!” The innocent question just made Rei and Nagisa flush harder—seeing that Rei was still having trouble regaining his breath, Nagisa quickly grabbed a glass of water and handed it to him. After the older man gulped down his water, he said a croaky “Thank you” to Nagisa, who just nodded, ears pink.

Dinners with Nagisa’s and Rei’s respective family members followed a similar pattern. When the couple occasionally dined with Nagisa’s sisters, things took either of two routes—the mischievous sisters flirting with Rei and teasing him to flustered shambles while Nagisa sat at the table with a deep pout on his face, or the sisters teasing BOTH of them at once, asking ‘how far along’ they were in their relationship, making both of them blush madly. (And yet, they were extremely protective of their little brother when they were alone before Rei—not that Nagisa had any way of knowing the difference.)

It was relatively more peaceful when the pair dined at the Sasabe estate with Rei’s uncle and aunt, in the sense that they were not teased mercilessly as they tried to eat their food. But instead, they were embarrassed in other ways—mainly by Rei’s aunt, who did love her nephew and genuinely wanted ‘the best’ for the two of them, and so tried to show her good will through various forms of advice concerning their relationship. This advice often came in the form of various proverbs that originally had no such context—phrases like ‘A golden key can open any door’ and ‘Strike while the iron is hot’. And Nagisa knew that she probably genuinely wanted to help them out—but sometimes her sayings had the pair nearly weeping in embarrassment and awkwardness.

But the subject being what it was, Nagisa was more than hesitant about bringing it up with Rei, and he feared that he would be rude and embarrass Rei’s aunt if he were to bring it up with her himself. He did not know what Rei’s thoughts on the subject were, but god be damned if he were the first to ask his lover. His heart was not prepared for asking such questions—or hearing the answers to such questions. Not at all. Nagisa had never even seen anyone before courting Rei—he had been ‘marriageable’ for years, according to the laws and customs of their kingdom, had even been married once, but he had no such experience. The most intimate he had been with Rei so far was making out, and even then they held an unspoken agreement that nothing would happen below the belt. At least, not yet…

And as embarrassing as it was, Nagisa sometimes found himself wondering about Rei. Perhaps more than before, with the subjects that were being thrown around at their family dinners. He knew he loved touching Rei, loved feeling the older man’s touch on his skin as well—they had had quite the number of make-out sessions in Rei’s study, after all. And it was not like Nagisa didn’t want to go further, exactly—just that he was not mentally prepared for it at the moment. But he wondered what it was like with Rei—whether he wanted things to go further sooner, or if he was holding back because Nagisa was young. Rei was a grown man after all—and Nagisa knew all too well how boys in their kingdom celebrated their coming of age by heading over to the red light district. He had never asked Rei about whether the man had such experiences himself—and although he was sure he would not love Rei any less if the answer was ‘yes’, he was sure that he would have mixed feelings about it. For one thing, some jealousy would definitely be there, and for another…pressure. Nagisa knew Rei would hardly be one to put pressure on him—it would come from himself, the pressure that he somehow would have to...be better than whatever previous experiences Rei might have had.

But maybe, Nagisa thought, as he stood in the Sasabe estate garden after dinner, taking a fresh breath of air and a moment alone, it was time that he asked Rei. They had been courting for a whole year now—and if his lover was holding himself back in any way, Nagisa wanted to know. He had no idea how they would go about compromising if he did…but all the same, Nagisa felt that it was better to talk about the issue rather than sidestep it even longer. He thought he was met with the perfect conditions when the mansion’s back door opened—knowing that Rei’s aunt and uncle had left the mansion for a public event, Nagisa turned around, expecting to see Rei…

And saw his lover without anything clothing his upper body. He froze in surprise, face flushing as Rei walked out into the garden, unaware of Nagisa’s presence. When he turned the bend in the garden path and spotted his lover next to the fountain, Rei also froze, his face immediately coloring as he staggered back in surprise.

“N-Nagisa!!” Immediately he backed away, scrambling to explain himself. “I did not realize you were—it is because I spilled lantern oil on my upper garment! I was heading to my chamber to get a fresh shirt, and cutting through the garden is the fastest way to—!!” Before he could finish his scrambled words, however, Rei stepped back and stepped on a pebble. A startled look crossed his face as he fell backwards.

“! Rei—!” As Nagisa called out in alarm, his voice was followed by a SPLASH! Blinking his eyes in the darkness, the blonde realized after some seconds that Rei had fallen into one of the garden fountains. When he saw a dazed Rei sit up in the water, sopping wet and glasses askew on his face—

Nagisa started laughing. Clutching his stomach, he bent over giggling—given the situation he had been so nervous to see Rei half-naked, but that stunt had blown away whatever nervousness he had felt. In the fountain, Rei frowned when he heard his lover laughing. But soon, his frown gave way to a reluctant smile, then laughter of his own. Calming down first, the blonde wiped a tear of laughter as he walked over to the fountain and held out a hand.

“For all the beauty and grace you talk about, you sure can be clumsy, Rei!” The brunet then stopped laughing, giving his lover a pointed look before taking his hand.

“It was accidental this time—and accidents should be accounted for!” With Nagisa’s help, he stood up, stepping out of the fountain. “But now, my pants are wet as well…” Sighing, he reached down to bunch some material in his hands and squeeze the water out. And as he did, Nagisa found himself staring at his torso—the bobbing Adam’s apple on his long neck, the fluid line of his collarbones, those broad shoulders and sculpted arms, the outline of his firm chest and abdominal muscles, and the beads of water that dripped off his skin, catching the moonlight—

“…Nagisa…” The embarrassed cough that Rei made snapped Nagisa out of his trance. “…I do not think you mean to stare, but…” Immediately, Nagisa flushed hard as he jumped an arm’s length away from Rei—great. Now all the previous nervousness came flooding back to him, along with the embarrassment. As if sensing this, Rei gave the blonde an embarrassed, yet understanding smile as he scratched his cheek with one finger.

“I should go and get changed—and dried off. I will join you again shortly.” Turning, he was about to leave when a hand shot out and stopped him by the arm.

“Wait!” Nagisa’s heart beat frantically in his ribcage as he blurted out the next words. “You can sit out here and wait for your bod—pants to dry!” It was still summertime in the desert, and as the air was dry and quite warm, he knew Rei would not have to wait long. He didn’t want Rei to go out of his way to make him comfortable—it was not as if he was fully unclothed. And there were things Nagisa wanted to talk about—he feared that if he waited for Rei to resurface from the mansion, he would lose his courage in the process.

He could see a faint blush spreading across Rei’s cheek as he stared back with uncertainty. After a few seconds, he gently pulled away from Nagisa and nodded.

“—I suppose that would do as well. If you are fine with…” Catching himself, Rei coughed awkwardly. “Anyhow—let’s find a seat far away from any fountains, shall we?” Sensing Rei’s attempt to lighten the situation, Nagisa laughed a little awkwardly as he nodded.

“Sure!” And a minute later, they were seated on a bench in the garden, with a person’s distance between the two of them.

Nagisa was wondering how to bring up the subject when he heard Rei’s voice speak first.

“Did you have something you wanted to tell me?” With surprise, the blonde looked up at Rei, who was staring at him curiously. “I mean—it seemed from your expression that you were pondering over something…” A nervous blush spreading through his cheeks, Nagisa turned his head away as he began twiddling his thumbs in his lap.

“I-It’s not really that important…” No, that was a lie—it was kind of important. To Nagisa, anyways. “…Okay, scratch that. It is sort of…a big deal…” At this Rei frowned with worry, unconsciously scooting closer to Nagisa.

“What is it, Nagisa? Did something happen?” As their bodies grew closer, it made Nagisa even more nervous—and although he had wanted to gradually approach the subject, all thoughts close to rationality flew from his head.

“I just wantedtoknowwhetheryou’vesleptwithanyone!!” As he blurted out these words, Nagisa saw Rei freeze in his position. And as soon as Nagisa realized what he had said, he wanted to bang his head on a brick wall over and over. That was not the question he—well, it was one of the questions he had wanted to ask, but definitely not one that he had wanted to start out with.

Under the lamplight, he could see Rei’s face turn a brilliant red—and when his mouth finally opened, it gaped open and shut for more than a few times. Just as Nagisa was thinking that he should really dig himself a grave to bury himself from the mortifying silence, he received a reply in a quiet voice.

“…No.” As Nagisa’s head flew back up, Rei coughed with embarrassment, his face still very red. “I...would understand if you had thought that I—had such experience. I am well into my twenties, after all…” The flush spread to his ears as he continued in a nervous voice. “And, well—it is not as if I do not have the same…needs, but…” As his blush darkened, Nagisa’s darkened along with it as well. “It just—was never in my interest to—visit those sorts of places.” He scratched his cheek with embarrassment. “Such actions go against my moral standards—and moreover…” He averted his gaze from Nagisa.

“I preferred…watching you in my spare time instead.” At this confession, he dropped his head, his blush intensifying tenfold. For the millionth time since he had met Rei, Nagisa’s heart fluttered in his chest—his own cheeks turning warmer as well.

“…Does that disappoint you?” Blinking, Nagisa refocused his attention from his heart to Rei. “That I—that I am inexperienced…?” The brunet looked absolutely embarrassed, but at the same time he looked uncertain. “I mean—if the time should ever come that we—not that it should be anytime soon!!” he added hastily, before continuing. “If the time should ever come…I cannot say for sure that I would…be able to meet any…expectations you may have of me.” A surge of emotions ran through Nagisa’s heart as he immediately drew himself up.

“Of course not!!” His hands clenched into fists at his sides in earnest as he spoke. “Why would I be disappointed about you not—“ Stopping short of himself, he shook his head to clear his thoughts before continuing. “I mean, why would I feel that way about it? It’s obvious that—that I would be happy about it—that I could be your first—not that I would love you any less if I wasn’t!” he added hastily. Face positively flaming, Rei sat in silence for a few moments before responding.

“I—I see…” He buried his face in his hands as he mumbled the next words. “I—I am glad.”

To say that this was embarrassing was an understatement. Nagisa felt like his entire being could combust anytime soon. This was utterly and stupendously embarrassing—they were embarrassing, awkward, stumbling into entirely new territory—

And that was when he realized that he had not asked the important questions. Just as he thought this, he heard Rei clear his throat nervously from beside him.

“May…may I ask…what prompted you to ask that?” When Nagisa blinked at him, Rei hastily clarified himself. “I mean, it’s not that I mind at all—but it does seem a little sudden…” Then, as if something clicked in his head, the brunet turned beet-red all over again.

“It was because of Aunt Miho, wasn’t it?” Groaning, he buried his burning face in his hands once more. “I—I’m sorry, Nagisa—she is a very liberal person, and she genuinely means well—I, I know I should have talked with her earlier about—about her advice, but—“ As he watched Rei being flustered over the same issue he had been embarrassed over, a mixture of empathy and affection welled up in Nagisa’s heart.

“It’s not that, exactly,” he said softly, making Rei fall silent. “Well, I admit, that’s how I might have started thinking about this but…” As the blonde drew his knees up to his chest, Rei looked at his lover with full attention.

“I just wondered…whether you’re holding yourself back because of me.” The words came out in a small voice, but Rei caught every word. As his lover’s eyes widened, Nagisa flushed, continuing. “You’re older than me, so you always try to match yourself to my pace—and I wondered, if that’s not the way it is with…well, with you and that, too.” In the drawn-out silence that followed, he couldn’t bring himself to look up at Rei, his eyes glued to his knees instead. Then…

“I do want to be with you in that way.” Nagisa’s eyes flew open, heart beating more quickly as he looked up at Rei—who for once was not looking away. His spectacles were off and set to the side to dry, and without them his violet eyes looked bigger than usual. They held all the solemnity one’s eyes could hold, offset by the light of the lantern overhead. “And I do wish I could share that with you someday—“ Reaching out, he gently held Nagisa’s hand in his own. “But not until you are ready—whenever that may be. I…” He looked away with shyness. “When that time comes, I wish to make you happy as well. It would be meaningless if I couldn’t do that.” He ducked his head once more, still not letting go of Nagisa’s hand. “And, well…if I were to be very honest with you…I am not sure that I feel completely ready myself.”

For a long while, Nagisa stared at Rei in silence. In the distance, he could hear two birds chirping as they made their mating calls. Under the lamplight, he noticed that Rei’s ears had turned red once more—they peeked out almost timidly from the fringe of his dark blue hair.

The hand that held his was a little sweaty. Nagisa thought it was adorable.

“…Rei.” The brunet looked up hesitantly when his name was called. “Turn around?” Rei blinked in puzzlement.

“Turn around? On this bench?” Nagisa nodded. “…All right?” Still puzzled, the man turned to face the other way on the bench—

And felt a pair of arms wrap around his torso from behind. He froze slightly as the breath caught in his throat.

“N-Nagisa?!” The blonde’s face was pink as he pressed his cheek against Rei’s bare back. He scooted forward to close the space between them on the bench. His heartbeat sped up as he sat there like this, feeling Rei’s skin, his warmth.

“…Mm. This…actually feels kind of nice.” Catching Nagisa’s murmur, Rei’s blush darkened by tenfold as he sat there, at a loss for words.

“…Rei? Am I making you feel uncomfortable?” Snapping out of his daze, Rei gaped for a moment before shaking his head.

“No, it is fine—“ Hesitantly, a hand reached up to overlap Nagisa’s hands, which lay right under his chest. “It…is pleasant for me as well.” The words made Nagisa blush harder, but his arms didn’t release Rei. In the silence that followed, Nagisa’s attention refocused on Rei’s back. He could feel the scars on it—ten of them, all from the royal ball they had first attended together. While the assassin had been caught and imprisoned that same night, it had taken half a year for the employer to be tracked down. At the time he had been immensely relieved to hear the news—it turned out that the noble ordered the assassin to target a random guest at the ball, as a show of threat to the Sultan and his rule. While he was still infuriated at the criminal, Nagisa was glad that Rei was not being targeted specifically—the thought that it might be otherwise had terrified him those six months.

“…Your back. It doesn’t hurt anymore, does it?” Rei blinked—then smiled softly.

“It stopped hurting a long time ago. Rather, it tends to itch sometimes,” he said, laughing. When Nagisa didn’t respond, Rei paused for a moment. “Do they bother you…?” Nagisa didn’t need to clarify what he meant by ‘they’.

“No.” The blonde shook his head against Rei’s back—feeling one of the scars against his cheek. “Your back is beautiful,” he whispered. In front of him, Rei’s eyes flew open a little—before becoming slightly lidded.

“…Thank you.” They sat there for a long time in silence, feeling each other’s warmth. After a while, Rei coughed slightly, cheeks pink.

“Nagisa…It is getting late. We should head back to the palace now.” At that, Nagisa reluctantly released Rei’s torso, his own cheeks still flushed.

“All right.” Together they stood up—Nagisa reaching over for Rei’s hand. As they walked back towards the mansion, the blonde spoke.

“Rei?” The brunet hummed in response.

“Yes, Nagisa?” The blonde smiled—both shyly and mischievously.

“Just so you know…” He swung on one heel towards Rei, bumping gently against his side. “I want to be with you like that too—someday.” As he physically felt Rei blush, Nagisa laughed—swinging himself back upright. He had always felt uncomfortable about breaching the subject—and it wasn’t that his embarrassment about it had completely disappeared. But now that he knew Rei was just as nervous and embarrassed about it, Nagisa felt a little reassured.

Whenever it would happen, he was sure that it would be beautiful, if it was with Rei.

…

“—after all, you shall sow as you reap!”

Both Nagisa and Rei spat out their water once more. As the two of them coughed to regain their breaths, Miho looked over at the two with a curious smile on her face.

“My—did you know that you two are very much in sync?” she commented. “You do get along very well—it’s a lovely sight to see!” With that, Nagisa and Rei exchanged looks at the table before bursting into laughter. As they laughed, Miho blinked her eyes in puzzlement. Wiping a tear of laughter, Rei smiled at his aunt.

“Thank you, Aunt Miho. But we’ll be fine from now on.” As Nagisa’s eyes widened from beside him, he felt Rei’s pinky slipping under his own. Their fingers linked together under the table, and Nagisa slowly smiled as well.

“Oh—!” Miho smiled back at the two. “I see—congratulations to you both!” When she saw her nephew and his lover nearly fall out of their chairs, Miho laughed pleasantly.

It seemed, Rei thought, that he needed to have another talk with his aunt in the future. He exchanged embarrassed looks with Nagisa once more, before the two of them smiled at each other again.

At least, he thought, they were in this embarrassment together. And Rei knew he would not change that for the world.

Chapter Text

07. In Sickness and Health

Time Setting: Hazuki Nagisa, age 18/Ryuugazaki Rei, age 24

“…Rei…”

When he heard his lover’s voice from beside him, Rei looked up from his book. Although he was worried, he smiled when he saw that Nagisa had woken up. The blonde’s cheeks were flushed from his fever, his eyes slightly lidded and damp, a wet towel on his forehead

“How are you feeling, Nagisa?” As he asked this, the man reached for one of the fresh towels he had stacked on the dresser. He doused it in the pan of cool water that was also on the dresser, squeezing the water out once it was soaked enough.

“…Better…I guess…” His voice was hoarse. “What time is it?”

“Very early morning,” Rei replied, wringing out the towel and folding it. “If you still feel drowsy, you should go back to sleep.” He reached over and gently removed the old towel before replacing it with the new one. The blonde’s eyelashes fluttered slightly as he felt the coolness of the fresh towel.

“You should…go to bed too…” Nagisa replied, coughing in the middle. “I’ll be fine…and you have…cough…work tomorrow…”

“I will be fine. I have gone with much less sleep before.” Rei set the old towel back on the mattress. “Are you feeling hungry? I can bring soup from the kitchen if you are.”

“Maybe later…” The blonde cracked a smile at Rei. “I could use some water though...”

“All right.” Rei reached for the pitcher of water on the dresser and poured some into a glass. He then set the glass down and reached over to help Nagisa sit up. When he was leaning his back against the pillows, Rei handed Nagisa the glass. The blonde gulped half of the water down before handing the glass back.

“Thank you.” Nodding, Rei took the glass and set it back down on the dresser.

“If you don’t feel like sleeping, shall I read aloud to you?” he asked. Nagisa shook his head with a smile.

“No…let’s just…cough…talk…” At the suggestion, Rei frowned with concern.

“But your throat…you shouldn’t strain it too much…” The worry in his voice warmed Nagisa’s heart, made his smile wider.

“Then…cough…you should talk to me, Rei…” Lying back down, he wiggled over on the mattress so that he was closer to Rei, eyes sparkling despite his fever. “I missed you all day, stuck here in bed…cough…I’ll just listen, I love hearing your voice!” The older man blushed slightly, readjusting his glasses before coughing.

“If…if that’s what you wish…” His eyes softened when he saw Nagisa perk up to pay attention. “I’ll tell you about what happened today…” He went on to describe the events of his day—his duties with the royal army, how Officer Mikoshiba had wrestling matches with some misbehaved soldiers (and won every single one), how he had lunch with Rin and Gou (and listened to them arguing about muscles), how he met Nitori in the halls and was informed that the boy had set aside a little of every dessert that week for Nagisa (“You’ll hurt your stomach if you eat them all now, Nagisa!”), how his uncle and aunt had visited the palace and asked after the blonde’s welfare (“Aww, I wish I’d been awake to see them, Rei!”). Rei also mentioned how beautifully his sisters had performed at the banquet that night—which had Nagisa puffing his cheeks out.

“And I practiced so hard for that performance—it’s not fair!” he whined. “All my sisters got the spotlight instead!”

“You were dancing in the courtyard at night, Nagisa—and when you know you get cold easily,” Rei scolded, sighing. “Not that practice is anything to knock on, but please keep your health in mind as well.” Reaching over, he stroked Nagisa’s hair gently. “Otherwise, a lot of people will be worried, you know?” Hearing Rei’s softened voice and feeling his warm fingers card through his locks made Nagisa’s heart warm once more. In a moment of tender silence, the blonde just stared at his lover silently—his eyes sweeping over the man’s richly dark-blue locks, hair that fell slightly over the silver spectacles that framed his violet eyes, ones that reflected the candlelight of the lantern on the dresser. He was beautiful—for the millionth time, Nagisa wondered why it had taken him some time in the beginning to realize that.

“…Nagisa?” Suddenly feeling self-conscious, Nagisa hesitantly opened his mouth.

“…Hey. Do you remember when I tended to you after you…after you got hurt?” It only took a moment for Rei to realize what Nagisa was talking about. A small smile formed on his face as he brought his hands down to rest on Nagisa’s cheek.

“Yes. I was very grateful to you…and I still am. And…” Blushing slightly, Rei coughed. “I remember thinking how nice it would be if…well, if I could continue to stay in your company for so long.” The confession made Nagisa’s heart flutter, and heat that was unrelated to the fever flooded his cheeks.

“It’s something silly, but…when I first realized I was in love with you, I…I started worrying about my appearance, you know?” As Rei looked on with surprise, Nagisa continued. “I remembered how you like beautiful things and…well…I was a mess back then. I couldn’t sleep that well at night because I was worried about you, so I had bags under my eyes—and I barely took any time to wash or change my clothes…” The blonde sank deeper under his blankets, covering up half of his face. “And, well…I’m a mess right now, and…even though I’m super happy you’re taking care of me…” The blonde made a conflicted sound in his throat. “Sorry…I know it’s silly but…” As Nagisa mumbled these words, the corners of Rei’s eyes softened even more.

And then, he laughed. Upon hearing this sound, Nagisa flushed. Jumping out from the bedcovers, the blonde frowned at Rei.

“Y-you don’t have to laugh about it, you know?!” Pausing in his laughter, Rei smiled as he looked at Nagisa.

“That is rather silly of you, Nagisa. I myself must have been a mess, if I must remind you—all pale and bandaged up, and unable to wash at all—I was the one who was not beautiful at all!” He shuddered slightly before going on.

“And to be completely honest—you looked nothing but beautiful to me.” As Nagisa’s eyes widened, Rei reached out again to cup his lover’s cheek. “How could I think anything but, when you stayed by my side all those days, keeping me company and nursing me back to health?” His smile softened to match his eyes. “To me, you will always be beautiful—even now, even if you have a fever, even if you haven’t washed or slept for years. That will never change.” He delighted in the fact that Nagisa’s cheek grew heated under his touch. As if reading his mind, his lover quickly ducked away from Rei’s hand, burying his face back under the covers.

“…Really?” A muffled voice came from under the blanket. “Really really?” Rei stared at the lump under the covers before laughing.

“Isn’t it the same for you?” Scooting closer to the bed, Rei said, “Come out from there, Nagisa. It is hard for you to breathe like that, is it not?”

“No!” the voice replied stubbornly from underneath the covers. “I look so embarrassing right now—like I’m ever coming out from here, ever!” The edges of Rei’s expression softened even more.

“...Pretty please?” He murmured, in a voice that he knew was Nagisa’s weakness, though he had picked up the behavior from Nagisa himself. After a moment of silence, the crop of fluffy blonde bedhead reemerged, followed by Nagisa’s eyes, then his whole face. He was pouting and his cheeks were flushed—Rei thought he was adorable.

“That’s unfair—you know I can’t say no to th—mrf!” He let out a squeak of surprise when a pair of lips pressed against his own. After staying for a good five seconds, Rei pulled back, a smile on his face.

“I only learned from the best, Nagisa.” When the blonde’s face turned an extra shade of red, Rei couldn’t help but feel some victory along with adoration.

“Y-you idiot! You’re going to get sick too, you know!” The brunet laughed in response.

“Please—I go to great lengths to maintain a peak condition of health!” Readjusting his glasses, Rei puffed up his chest proudly. “It is not possible for me to get sick from just this!”

…

-A Few Days Later-

“It defies all logic!” As Rei wailed in a hoarse voice from his bed, Nagisa laughed, squeezing the water from the towel in his hand. “I have tended to people with colds, and I myself never caught it before!”

“Yeah, but you never kissed any of those people, did you?” Voice teasing, the blonde leaned over and placed the fresh towel on Rei’s forehead.

“I must appear horrible!” Rei said in despair, ducking his face under the covers. “This is absolutely not beautiful!” Staring at the lump under the blanket, Nagisa sighed.

“Rei, you do know you’re being awfully silly right now?” he said. “And you were the one who told me I looked beautiful even with a cold just a few days ago.” At that, Rei slowly reemerged from the covers, a pout on his fever-flushed face.

“That is unfair, Nagisa. To think you would use my own logic against me—mmf!” The man’s words were cut short when Nagisa pressed his lips against his. After ten seconds, Nagisa pulled back from a stunned Rei, winking.

“But I don’t play fair, remember?” Laughing, he stood up. “I’ll grab some fresh towels from the laundry room—don’t miss me too much while I’m gone, okay?” As his lover left the room, Rei turned a darker shade of beet-red, before collapsing forward on his covers, burying his face in them.

He almost regretted kissing Nagisa during his fever. Almost. But not quite.

Chapter Text

08. Radiant Moon

Time Setting: Nitori Aiichirou, age 20 / Matsuoka Rin, age 24

They stood under the pavilion in the rooftop gardens, looking up at the stars in the night sky. To be exact, Nitori stood—Rin sat next to him on a chair as the grey-haired chef served him after-dinner dessert. In the background, they could hear Rei and Nagisa talking about—they were not sure what the newlywed couple was talking about. Words like ‘penguins’ and ‘strawberries’ and ‘the perfect form’ were being thrown about as the pair chatted animatedly—Rei making various flashy poses (supposedly to show off ‘the perfect form’) while Nagisa was doubled over and laughing at his husband. Clicking his tongue, Rin sighed as he rubbed the back of his head.

“God, they’re noisy—why can’t they go and have their constant honeymoon somewhere else?” At this sarcastic comment Nitori laughed, setting down the jam pitcher on the side table.

“They have always gotten along very well, Your Majesty—they are known throughout the palace for it.” The redhead snorted in response.

“I’d have a pretty stupid court if they weren’t.” He watched as Rei gave his laughing husband a disgruntled look, before looping an arm around the blonde’s waist and pulling him into a kiss. That was effective in silencing the laughter, although to be honest Rin might have preferred the noise to this public display of affection. Rolling his eyes, he turned them away from the couple—they proceeded to unconsciously wander towards Nitori. When their eyes met, however, Rin quickly averted his own, the tips of his ears turning red in the dark.

He supposed that he wasn’t really annoyed at Rei and Nagisa for being affectionate. Rather, he might even be a little envious of them, Rin thought—there they were, able to talk and laugh like best friends, hug and kiss like lovers, like spouses. And then, there was Rin himself—unable to even meet the eyes of the attractive chef who had caught his eye recently. Heck, he couldn’t even think of a decent conversation topic, so he had latched onto the nearest topic that caught his eye—which happened to be Rei and Nagisa. Rin usually had no problem with silences, but in Nitori’s presence they made him nervous—so in order to clear the silence, he brought the two up once more.

“I can imagine what you must’ve put up with, serving those two—you used to work at Rei’s quarters, didn’t you?” Well, at least now he had brought up a question about Nitori himself—although Rin already knew the answer to it, strictly speaking. Gou had mentioned it when she first told Rin who Nitori was, for one thing. And ever since Nagisa had noticed Rin staring after the grey-haired man at his and Rei’s wedding, he hadn’t stopped teasing the redhead about it. He would even casually-not-so-casually bring Nitori up and drop some details about him for Rin to hear.

Never in a million years would Rin admit that he took care to remember everything Nagisa told him. And each time Rei caught him listening intently, the guard would smirk in a knowing way that made Rin want to take Nagisa aside and casually talk about all the times he had come to Rin for romantic advice.

“Yes, Your Highness.” Nitori looped his arms back behind his waist, a habit that surfaced whenever he was feeling a little nervous—although Rin had no way of knowing this. “I served under His Honor Rei for about three years—and I met Nagisa-kun when he first came to live at the palace.” In fact, Nitori had met Nagisa’s sisters before he met the blonde himself—but that was a story for another time. Being indebted to the Hazuki sisters, he had agreed to act as a spy to make sure that Rei did nothing ‘inappropriate’ towards their little brother—although Nitori had doubted that such a thing would occur, having known Rei longer than Nagisa.

“Hmm. You must’ve only served on the lower floors then?” Blinking, Rin wondered if he was being rude. “I mean—I’ve just never seen you around the top floor, is all.” He knew that servants were sent up the floors as their work experience increased—but from what Nagisa had told him, Nitori had worked at the palace for almost twelve years now. Rin wondered why he had never caught sight of Nitori around his quarters. Next to him, Nitori was silent for a moment—before responding.

“I asked to apprentice at the royal kitchens before I could reach the top floor.” He didn’t mention all the times he had gone up there as a child, to catch secret glimpses of Rin. “I felt that I would be of better use to the palace there, Your Highness—not that I mean to come off as haughty, sire,” he quickly added.

“No, I get it,” Rin replied, sensing the man’s modesty. “Why not do what you do best? Seems like the efficient way to live, anyways—and besides…” He coughed slightly, a blush creeping into his cheeks. “You...your food is pretty good.” In response, Nitori returned the blush tenfold. Thankfully it went unnoticed, as the night was dark—save the few lanterns hanging around the garden.

“Th-thank you, Your Majesty. Though I am not worthy of your praise.” As the chef bowed towards him, Rin frowned slightly.

“There’s no need to bow—and I meant what I said. I don’t do empty flattery.” Turning away in embarrassment, he looked towards the side table and saw a few round pies sitting on a plate. “Speaking of food, what’re those? I’ve never seen them before.” At this, Nitori perked up.

“They are moon pies, Your Highness!” he replied. “I—I came up with the recipe recently. The guests seemed to like it earlier, so…” He was looking at the ground and smiling shyly, albeit a little nervously. Hastily shoving aside the thought that he looked cute, Rin coughed, straightening up in his chair.

“Well, let’s have some then!” Grabbing one of the pies from the platter, the redhead took a bite out of it—and his eyes widened slightly.

“Hey, this is pretty good.” While he didn’t particularly like sweets, this dessert was not too sweet—it even had a slightly spicy aftertaste, which was surprising. Hearing Rin’s response made Nitori’s face light up as he abruptly bowed towards Rin once more.

“Thank you, Your Majesty!” Startled and a bit flustered, Rin jumped slightly in his chair while nearly dropping the moon pie.

“I said, you don’t have to bow!” he protested. At this, Nitori snapped up with attention.

“Ah! My apologies, Your Majesty!” As he bowed again, the redhead let out a defeated sigh.

“You know what, forget it for now.” Leaning back in his chair, Rin’s eyes wandered towards the night sky once more. Overhead, the moon shone against its black canvas, full and golden.

“The moon is full tonight.” As Nitori spoke, Rin look up at him. “Is it not beautiful, Your Majesty?” The moonlight highlighted the soft curves of the younger man’s face, his sky blue eyes glowing gently, a soft smile on his rosy lips. There was a black dot under his right eye—Rin had noticed it there before. But all of a sudden, he felt the urge to place one hand on that soft cheek, run his thumb over that birthmark—

When Nitori turned back towards him, Rin nearly fell out of his seat. Giving himself a mental slap in the face, the redhead coughed as he straightened up.

“S-S’ppose it is.” Goddammit—! This was ridiculous. Rin had barely even spoken with this man, and just because his looks happened to appeal to him, his mind was turning to mush. He was not some hormonal teenage boy who was just starting to show an interest in girls—or, in his case, girls and boys. The only other time Rin had been so attracted to a person based on looks was when he was ten, and had been invited to the neighboring kingdom of Iwami, where he met one of the princesses at a ball…

Now that he thought about it, that princess also had blue eyes, though they were a darker shade than Nitori’s. Was that why Rin was attracted to him? Because he might have been all love at first sight when he was ten, but he thought that he had long outgrown that phase by now. Sure, he was still a romantic, but Rin had his limits—he should not be this affected by a person he had first lain eyes on only a few weeks ago. He was a grown-up, for Pete’s sake…

Sighing mentally, Rin turned his attention back to the moon and tried to think about other things. He took a thoughtful look at the golden circle in the sky—and then his mind really did recall other things.

Now that he recalled, the moon had been full on that night as well. The night that his father, the previous Sultan, had been assassinated, nine years ago. The light in Rin’s eyes flickered as he recalled the events that had followed—the assassin being tracked down and killed the same night, his father’s advisors trying to stage a coup de tat before being banished from the kingdom, his own rise to the throne at the age of fifteen.

Back then, Rin remembered, he had trusted almost no one—only Mikoshiba and Sasabe Gorou, both whom he had known since childhood, and his younger sister, Gou. There had been one more person he trusted, but he had died years before Rin rose to the throne. A year after his coronation, Rin was able to meet that noble’s son—and now, Rei was one of his closest advisors, as well as a trusted friend.

It was with the help of these people that Rin became the ruler he was today—loved by his people, all except the nobility. With the exception of a few, of course—the Hanamuras and Amakatas among them, to name some. Now his people were fed better, granted their fair shares of the limited water supply, and were generally more prosperous than before. They admired him, and Rin supposed that he should be happy about that. As much as he pretended that it didn’t matter, it was better than being a hated ruler, after all—like his father had been.

Come to think of it, Rin had not even shed a single tear at his father’s funeral. Seeing the usually strict man’s face look so ironically peaceful in his coffin had produced mixed feelings in his heart. He had always held mixed feelings towards his father—in the beginning, he had denied feeling anything more than anger and hate towards the man. But he was twenty-four now, and past the bitterness for the most part. Now Rin knew—that his feelings were more complicated than that. He had always wanted to become a better ruler than his father, had always sworn to make things better--but once he actually sat atop the throne, Rin had discovered that it was not as easily done as said.

“Am I a better ruler than that old man?” It was only after a few seconds that Rin realized he had said these words out loud. Blinking as he returned to the present, he jerked slightly in his chair, his eyes looking up at Nitori. The grey-haired man was still looking up at the moon, and for a moment Rin thought that he hadn’t heard him. Sighing in relief, the redhead leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes.

“I was once a slave, Your Majesty.” At once Rin’s eyes flew open. Sitting up, he turned his face towards Nitori, who was still looking at the moon. “I was eight when I ran away from my master’s house, and wandered the slums for about a month. I was fortunate that General Mikoshiba found me, and brought me to the palace to work. It was better being an unpaid servant than a slave, after all.” Remembering the past, Rin’s face grew slightly dark.

“There’s no difference between the two,” he muttered. ‘Unpaid servant’? Who had his father been trying to fool? To him, the only difference between the slaves outside the palace and the ‘servants’ within was that the latter was part of his grand scheme of keeping up appearances. The residents of the palace had smiled and laughed—but out of terror, not true happiness. It had not taken Rin long to realize this. As if hearing Rin’s thoughts, Nitori’s face grew somber.

“Perhaps not—but you changed that, sire,” he said. “I still remember the day that I received my first wage. I remember turning those gold coins over in my hand—they were so shiny, and cool to the touch.” His face brightened a little at the memory. “It felt like I held small moons in my hands.” When Rin still didn’t look up, Nitori paused for a moment.

“I lost an important person to slavery, Your Majesty.” Startled, Rin looked up at the younger man, who looked solemn. “When summer arrives, I often think of her. For the longest time, my eyes hurt when I looked at the sky, because it reminded me of her.” His eyes turned towards Rin, and the redhead thought that he could see the sky in them. “But you freed the thousands who could have shared her fate. And after you did, it didn’t hurt to look at the sky anymore.” Backlit by the moonlight, Nitori smiled at Rin.

“Thank you.” As Rin’s eyes grew wide, a voice called from the background.

“Ai-chan! Is there any dessert left?”

“Ah—hold on, Nagisa-kun! I’ll bring some from the cart!” Turning towards Rin, Nitori bowed his head slightly. “If you’ll excuse me for a moment, Your Highness.” He was about to leave the pavilion when a hand shot out and grabbed his.

“…Ah…” With wide eyes, he stared back at Rin, who looked just as surprised with himself.

“…Hah?” Rin blinked—took a look at their joined hands—and flushed so hard that his face matched his hair. Shit…! Just as his hand flew off Nitori’s like it had been burnt, Nagisa’s cheery voice chirped once more in the background.

“Ah~! It’s okay, Ai-chan! I’ll get it myself, keep talking!” At this, both Rin and Nitori’s face erupted into flames.

“NAGISA!!” “W-WAIT, NAGISA-KUN, I’LL GO AND GET IT!!” And with that, the grey-haired chef was gone, scrambling towards the arcade where the cart stood. Under the pavilion, Rin’s face was rapidly turning darker shades of red as his mouth opened and closed like a gaping fish.

“—Dammit!” Dropping his head, he buried his burning face in one hand. Great—now things were going to be awkward, at least for himself. Rin was sure Nitori was at least a little puzzled by his actions—and he sure as hell hoped his gesture hadn’t come off as creepy.

“It is all right, Your Highness—he is too kind and dutiful to avoid you,” a teasing voice said from beside him. Rin looked up as a smug Rei patted him on the back. “Even if you have no delicacy.” At this, the redhead’s face distorted into a deadly frown.

“Would you kindly get the hell out of my face before I banish the two of you?” Rei laughed in response.

“That might actually be quite romantic, Your Highness. Thank you for offering.” Rin groaned—so this was how Rei had felt whenever he was teased about Nagisa. Thanks for the heads-up, Glasses.

Meanwhile, as the two friends bickered under the pavilion, a still-flustered Nitori stood under the arcade, leaning against one of the pillars. His face was a brilliant red, his wide eyes staring down at still-warm hand.

‘Hey, this is pretty good.’

‘There’s no need to bow—and I meant what I said. I don’t do empty flattery.’

“~~~!” As he held his hand to his chest, a voice spoke from beside him.

“It’s a good thing, huh?” Looking up, Nitori saw Nagisa smile at him. “That you decided to approach him.” Before, the two of them had had a talk—the blonde making Nitori promise that he would serve Rin something at his and Rei’s wedding. Besides feeling happy for his friend that day, Nitori had felt nervous—but now…

He nodded, squeezing his eyes shut, his hand grasped in his other hand, held to his chest.

“Yeah…!” Seeing his friend’s reaction, Nagisa laughed cheerfully, patting Nitori on the back.

“The moon sure is pretty tonight!”

And indeed, it was—prettier than the gold coins from a certain boy’s first wage.

Chapter Text

09. Heaven-Bound Vows

Time Setting: Hazuki Nagisa, age 19/Ryuugazaki Rei, age 26

“Rei.” Hearing his name, Rei looked down at the fluffy crop of blonde hair that was visible under the familiar green veil. They were in their secret courtyard, Rei seated under the palm tree with Nagisa seated in his lap. The blonde had a cheerful sparkle in his eyes as he smiled up at his lover—and as much as Rei liked seeing Nagisa smile, he knew that the boy often got that look in his eyes when he was up to mischief. Groaning mentally, Rei raised a suspecting brow at his lover.

“And just what might you be up to this time, Nagisa?” Giggling, Nagisa turned in Rei’s lap to face him.

“You got me—I just thought of something fun that we could do!” His burgundy eyes grew extra sparkly—they looked at Rei with a broad smile that made the man feel divided between wanting to kiss him and putting out whatever scheme he had in mind this time. Sighing, the brunet decided to first hear him out—he had always been a good listener, after all.

“And what might that be?” Please tell me it doesn’t involve swiping desserts from the royal kitchen again, he pleaded silently. Or freeing the messenger doves from the apothecary. The last thought nearly made him shudder, but he caught himself just in time. Oblivious to Rei’s worries, Nagisa chirped back a response.

“Why don’t we go on a date?” As Rei looked down at Nagisa with surprise at the fairly normal suggestion, the boy added with a smile, “A special one!” Somehow, the word ‘special’ had Rei’s flags rising again. Eye starting to twitch slightly, he tried to keep as calm as possible as he asked,

“’Special’?”

…

“Is this absolutely necessary, Nagisa?”

Was Rei’s question for the tenth time, as he stood in front of a wall with Nagisa standing on his shoulders. He grunted slightly as his lover grabbed a hold of the top of the wall, hoisting himself up.

“Geez, Rei—you asked that like ten times! Like I said, it’s for setting the mood! Mo~od!”

“But this only makes things more difficult—I don’t mind all the other things, but would it really hurt to get permission for leave first?” Rei made sure Nagisa was safely atop the wall, before he began scaling it himself.

“But that would take forever, Rei—and I want to go now!” Holding out a hand, Nagisa helped Rei atop the wall. When they were both standing, he placed both hands on his waist and triumphantly smiled down at the scenery.

“Good! We’re just one leap away now!” They were standing atop the palace’s outermost wall—Rei marveled at how they had managed to remain unnoticed by the guards. If they saw their own general sneaking out of the palace…Rei sighed. He was currently on leave from work—but nevertheless. If anyone else caught them…Rei felt a tug on his sleeve, and his train of thought broke.

“Come on, Rei—what’re you waiting for?” Seeing Nagisa smile with anticipation as he extended his hand, Rei let out a small sigh. With one smooth motion, he took his lover’s hand and picked him up, one arm wrapping around the blonde’s back and the other behind his legs. As Nagisa squealed with surprise, Rei bent his knees for the leap before jumping off the wall. Once he landed, the brunet placed Nagisa back on his feet, proceeding to dust his pants off.

“Let us go, then.” Turning, he threw a questioning look at Nagisa, who stared at him with his mouth slightly open. “Well?” With that, the boy smiled widely. Laughing in delight, he jumped towards Rei, throwing his arms around his lover. As he staggered forward from the weight, Rei’s eyes coincidentally fell on a corner of the wall—and froze. From the corner, Officer Mikoshiba grinned knowingly at him as he mouthed the words ‘Have a good time.’ As Rei’s mouth dropped open, the orange-haired guard disappeared around the corner.

“Rei?” Snapping out of his stupor, Rei turned back to Nagisa, who held a hand out towards him once more. “Where should we go first?” Not being able to help himself, Rei smiled back slightly as he took his lover’s hand.

“Perhaps, the marketplace?” Their fingers intertwined together as they made their way from the palace.

As it turned out, the ‘special date’ that Nagisa had in mind was a walk through the rest of the kingdom. They were even dressed to blend in with the common folk—Rei had no idea how Nagisa had secured such clothing, but he suspected that his own servants probably had something to do with it, since they doted on him greatly. The only conspicuous part of their outfits were Rei’s glasses, which only the scholars and the nobility tended to wear, but as Rei could not see without them it could not be helped. They probably would have been granted leave from the palace, but Nagisa had insisted that they sneak out to have their ‘secret date’. Although ‘secret dates’ were more associated in Rei’s mind with forbidden lovers and the like, he supposed that he could go along with Nagisa’s wishes once in a while—not that he didn’t get looped into going along with them on a regular basis. As it turned out, the Sultan was not the only romantic in the palace—much to Rei’s simultaneous worry, amusement, and endearment.

And as he watched Nagisa skip forward through the marketplace, peering at items that caught his eye and laughing as he chatted with the merchants—some of whom were surprised to see him again—Rei thought about it. They had been courting for over two years now, but as they lived in the palace their ‘dates’ had mostly happened in Rei’s study or their secret courtyard. Whenever they did leave the palace together, it had been in a carriage—and although Nagisa did not say anything about it, he would often peer out the window with thoughtful eyes as they rode.

He remembered Nagisa telling him that he wanted to travel the world someday. And yet, he had not even been able to take him out of the palace often. Feeling guilty, Rei stopped in his steps, looking at his grinning lover ruffle a child’s hair on the street.

It was not that he did not fit in with the palace—as a royal dancer, Nagisa was beautiful on the court floor, and as a person he had many friends throughout the palace—even some admirers, to Rei’s slight protective dismay. But he also fit in with the world outside the palace—Rei knew it well. He had watched the blonde for years, after all—the kingdom outside the palace had been Nagisa’s home for seventeen years, despite the hardships he went through after his parents died. It was to be expected…

“Reeeeeiiiii~!” It was only when Nagisa shouted his name in a loud voice that Rei stopped short in his thoughts. Looking up, he saw the boy pouting as he waved towards him. “Are you listening? Come over here!” A little dazed, the guard quickly jogged towards Nagisa, who stood before a vegetable stall. Taking Rei by the arm, Nagisa turned to the vendor standing behind the stall.

“This is Rei!” he told her cheerfully. “Remember when you said you hoped I meet someone nice? Well, here he is!” Immediately, Rei blushed. Those words sounded incredibly familiar—and upon a thorough glance at the vegetable farmer, he thought he remembered seeing her with Nagisa before. Just as he started to recall a particularly memorable episode from the past, Rei noticed the vegetable farmer’s eyes light up.

“Oh~! But aren’t you that guard—the one who kept watching this dear from a distance?” At this question Rei’s mouth dropped open with surprise. Before he could even turn a darker shade of red, the farmer took his hands in hers with a broad smile.

“Congratulations! You finally confessed, didn’t you? I always worried about him when I heard he was going to marry a royal guard, but it was you all along! Good for you!” And that was when Rei started turning red, frozen to the spot. He thought that he had kept well out of sight during his patrols—just when had she seen him, staring after Nagisa no less? Just as he thought he couldn’t become more embarrassed, the farmer called out to the rest of the vendors in the marketplace.

“Oi, you all! That guard with the glasses is back! And he finally confessed!!” As soon as she said this, the whole marketplace started to chatter excitedly, as many faces peered over at Rei. As he felt their curious stares fix on him, Rei very much wanted to dig a hole and bury himself on the spot. How in the world…the whole marketplace had known about his feelings for Nagisa, all this time? Face burning, the brunet dared to glance down at Nagisa—and was surprised to find the boy with flushed cheeks as well.

“…un.” Rei blinked, not quite catching Nagisa’s murmur.

“...Huh?” He then felt a hand tugging his.

“Run!” And suddenly, he was being pulled forward, his steps hastening into a run to match the blonde’s pace. In the distance, Rei heard the vendors calling after them.

“Good for you, Mr. Guard!” “Make that boy happy, you hear?!” Feeling a second wave of embarrassment, Rei hurried his pace until they were outside the marketplace. Only then did he feel Nagisa slow down, and he slowed his steps as well. Once Nagisa came to a full stop, he stood still for a moment, not turning around, not letting go of Rei’s hand. The tips of his ears were pink—wondering what this reaction meant, Rei nervously opened his mouth.

“Nagisa…?” Had what happened back then made Nagisa think Rei was a creepy stalker, or something along those lines? If his watching from afar had been obvious to the extent the whole marketplace had noticed…

“Geez!” Hearing Nagisa’s voice yell out suddenly made Rei flinch. Just as he was about to apologize, the blonde turned on his heel, face still flushed. “Just how much did you stare at me back then?!” Not knowing how to receive this reaction, Rei immediately fell into panic as he scrambled to respond.

“I—I’m sorry, Nagisa! I—I thought I had hidden myself perfectly—I’m sorry, I must have been careless—“

“Why was I the only one to not notice?!” The outburst effectively cut Rei off, and he stared down at Nagisa with wide eyes. “If everyone else noticed, why in the world didn’t they tell ME about it?!” The blonde had a deep pout on his face as he continued. “It’s not fair—if they’d told me about you, then I could’ve approached you myself!” Now Rei felt his cheeks heating up for a different reason.

“You…would have approached me?” In the shadow of the nearest wall, he could see Nagisa’s cheeks dusting pink.

“Well, yeah!” As Rei’s heart skipped a beat, Nagisa went on. “I mean, maybe at first I might have thought you really were stalking me—“ The comment dealt a blow to Rei, nearly making him keel over.

“—But then, I’d have gotten curious about why you were just staring—and I probably would have confronted you, sooner or later!” Picking himself back up, Rei looked down at Nagisa. His lover looked quite cute as he stood there, blushing and pouting. “And then I’d have gotten to know you…went on street dates with you…and I would have fallen for you.” The last words were said in a softer voice, but Rei heard them perfectly clearly. Slowly, a soft smile spread across his face, the expression reflected in his violet eyes.

“Is that your way of confessing to me?” Heart warm, he reached over and gently caressed Nagisa’s cheek with one hand, delighting in the additional warmth it drew.

“Idiot. What’s the use of confessing to you, when we’re already like this?” And yet, Rei could feel Nagisa lean into his touch. Smile softening even more, the guard leaned down and kissed his lover on the forehead.

“Isn’t that why we’re having a street date right now?” he said gently. “It is better late than never, don’t you think?” In fact, Rei wanted to take Nagisa further than just the streets in the kingdom—he wished he could take Nagisa to see the world, just as the boy had dreamed of doing. But in the present, he had his responsibilities—they both did. Before Rei could dwell on the thought longer, however, Nagisa spoke.

“To be honest, I’m kind of happy.” Rei’s eyes widened as the blonde looked off to one side, cheeks pink. “That they all like you—I mean, that’s sort of the reason I wanted to come out here with you. So I could show you off to everyone.” His hands were bunched up in the cotton of his pants—to Rei it was one of the most endearing sights he had ever seen. “It feels like I’m connecting the part of my life before I met you, and the part after. And it makes me happy, you know?”

Hearing his lover say such things had Rei at a loss for words. So instead, he acted on his feelings and pulled Nagisa into a crushing hug. He heard a surprised squeak from Nagisa, before he felt the boy wrap his arms around his back as well. As they hugged, Rei spoke into Nagisa’s hair in a muffled voice.

“One day, I will tell you about what happened in that marketplace. I will tell you about all the times I saw you, everything I can remember that made me fall harder for you.” He said this, recalling the day that he had been chased by Nagisa, had been thanked by the blonde for helping him. He felt Nagisa’s heartbeat flutter against his ribcage as his lover’s arms tightened around him. “We have all the time in the world to learn about each other now—and nothing brings me greater joy than that.”

“Me too.” Something glinted in the dark, a flash of metal. “Me too, Rei.” Rei smiled into Nagisa’s hair, eyes twinkling in the shadows.

“So…would you like to continue our date?” Nagisa nodded, finally pulling away—a slightly shy smile on his face.

“Of course!” He reached over and took Rei’s hand once more. “Let’s go back to the marketplace—after all, I haven’t introduced you to everyone yet!” Rei hummed in response—he thought he would probably be facing a lot of firsthand embarrassment. But Nagisa was next to him, so it would be every bit worth it, he knew.

…

They spent the afternoon visiting various places. In the marketplace, they talked with many of Nagisa’s friends, ate snacks, looked at interesting items—Rei had to physically restrain Nagisa from buying a peacock headdress at the international bazaar with his hard-earned wages—laughed, bantered with each other, and had fun. They dropped by the public square as well, where some dancers and theater troupes were performing—and although Rei was a little flustered when Nagisa spontaneously pulled him into a dance as well, he enjoyed the experience as well.

Before they left the city square, they stopped at a flower stall in the corner. Rei only blushed a little as he presented Nagisa with a single desert flower, one that matched the shade of his eyes. Smiling, Nagisa pulled Rei down for a quick peck on the cheek before tucking the flower behind his ear. Then, he proceeded to buy a whole bouquet of the same flower. At first, Rei had insisted that he pay, thinking Nagisa wanted the flowers for himself—he was puzzled when he was informed that they were for someone else.

“Come on, Rei—there’s two more people I want to show you off to!” Blinking quizzically, Rei proceeded to follow Nagisa out onto the residential streets.

It was not long before the neighborhood around them changed. As they grew closer and closer to their destination, Rei thought he knew where they were headed. The smile still stayed on Nagisa’s face, but the air about him grew quieter as they walked through the commoners’ district.

They entered a street lined with small, shabby houses, some with tiny yards that were filled by livestock. Lines of laundry hung over the roofs and windowsills, the clothes full of holes and patches silhouetted in the evening light. It was dusty with desert sand that had carried over in the wind, but peaceful. They stopped before a conspicuously empty plot of land at the far end, where the ghost of a house seemed to linger.

The fire from eleven years ago replayed itself in Nagisa’s mind. He remembered his younger self, next to his sisters outside their already-collapsed house—the tall flames burning high and scarring bright, the smell of wood burning, the embers that flew through the air. He remembered the screams of his sisters as they tried to rush inside, their neighbors restraining them with all their might, the tears streaming from their eyes. He remembered standing still before the raging fire, the monstrous flames seeming to consume his voice and even his sobs, how dry his eyes had felt from the heat. He remembered being too shocked, too confused, too terrified to even start crying. He remembered the loss finally hitting him at the funeral—when his world had seemed to come crashing down in one swoop.

Even to this day, Nagisa missed them very much.

“Nagisa…” Before Rei could speak further, Nagisa opened his mouth.

“Do you remember?” he asked, his voice affectionate—his eyes reminiscent. “It’s that onii-chan who came over twelve years ago, Mom and Dad.” The breath caught in Rei’s throat, as his lover continued to speak. “The one that I used to follow around when I was little—I bet you never expected us to end up as lovers, huh?” As he spoke, he intertwined his fingers with Rei’s, squeezing his hand.

“Did you know? When you guys left, he kept watching over me—it took a long time for him to come around, but he really loves me a lot, you know?” He laughed softly—Rei unable to tear his eyes from him. “So much that he proposed to me twice—“ From his left hand’s fourth finger shone a gold band—one that matched the ring on the Rei’s fourth finger. “—And this time, I actually said ‘yes’ for the right reason.”

“Nagisa…” The blonde’s eyes were growing a little moist as he kept his eyes forward, on the empty plot of land.

“I really love him. And I know you both would’ve loved him a lot too. Even if you won’t be able to come to our wedding—even if you aren’t here—he’ll look after me, and I’ll look after him. Just like how you both looked out for each other.” Kneeling before the ground, Nagisa placed the bouquet of desert flowers on the plot of land. “Be happy for us…all right…?” Quickly dabbing at his eyes with the back of his hand, the blonde turned to Rei.

“Let’s go, Rei—it’s dinnertime soon. We should get back to the palace—“ As he stepped back towards the street, he heard Rei’s voice speak.

“Thank you.” Eyes widening, Nagisa turned to see Rei, kneeling before the plot of land. “Thank you for having me over—for showing me kindness that day, when I needed it most.” His fiance’s voice was slightly choked as he said the next words. “And most of all—thank you for giving birth to Nagisa.” His violet eyes shone with a fierce sincerity that touched the blonde’s heart. “He means the world to me, and I swear that I will make him happy, as long as I live.” As Nagisa’s eyes started to water once more, Rei stood up and bowed towards the plot of land. “You have my eternal respect and gratitude.” Straightening up, he turned towards Nagisa, who was wiping the tears from his eyes once more.

“Now, let us go.” His violet eyes were gentle as he looked upon his fiancé. “And next time, please let me provide the flowers.” Sniffing, Nagisa nodded.

“Yeah…!” As they walked away from the plot of land, their hands linked together once more, almost naturally—the rosy light of the sunset reflecting off the gold bands on their fingers.

“Rei.” When Nagisa spoke after a long silence, Rei replied.

“What is it?” He squeezed his fiancé’s hand lightly.

“Let’s visit your parents, too. Before the wedding.” Rei looked down to see Nagisa smiling, with red-rimmed eyes. “It’ll be your turn now, to show me off to them!” The brunet smiled.

“Of course.” He thought of the plaque that stood in the garden of his uncle’s home—one with his parents’ names carved into them. And Rei knew, without a doubt, that they would have loved Nagisa very much as well.

Chapter Text

10. Stars in the Desert

Time Setting: Nanase Haruka (25), Tachibana Makoto (18), Matsuoka Rin (25), Hazuki Nagisa (21), Ryuugazaki Rei (28)

“It’s a wonderful night, isn’t it, Your Highness?”

Interrupted from his thoughts, Haruka looked up to see Makoto, the traveling merchant. The tall boy smiled at the prince as he sat down on the sand near him. Before the two of them crackled a fire, the light illuminating the group of tents that were set up not far away. Most of Rin’s caravan had retired to their tents for the night—Makoto himself had just put his younger twin siblings to bed.

“—You can just call me ‘Haru’,” the raven-haired prince said, after a while. “I was banished from my own kingdom anyways—what use are titles when we’re in the middle of nowhere?” At this Makoto’s smile grew sympathetic.

“But we are accompanying you back, are we not? So you can reclaim your rightful throne, Your Highne—you are eating mackerel jerky again?!” he exclaimed, as he caught sight of the dried fish in Haruka’s hand.

“It’s important to take in a constant supply of DHA to survive in the desert,” Haruka replied seriously, while munching on his dried fish.

“It’s not DHA, it’s water~!” Makoto protested with exasperation.

“But there is little water—here in the desert, and back in Iwami.” Haruka’s voice was solemn as he stared at the fire. “And that is why my kingdom is at the throne’s mercy.” Noticing how the prince’s hand clenched into a fist, Makoto’s eyes glowed with sympathy.

“Your Majesty…” Before he could continue, however, a hand casually slapped Haruka on the back.

“Hey, hey, no need to brood over politics now, is there?” Rin’s voice drawled, as Haruka choked on his mackerel jerky and Makoto looked on worriedly. “Everyone’s off to dreamland at this hour—why not go to sleep instead of depressing yourself? And giving off that fish stink, by the way.” Coughing, Haruka shot Rin a glare.

“Lay off, redhead, or I’ll dispatch a messenger to your boyfriend back home about how you tried to flirt with me at that ball.” Rin’s face colored a bright red.

“What the—that was fifteen years ago already!” he sputtered. “And how the hell’d you know about—I mean, I don’t have a boyfriend—“

“Aww, Ai-chan would be so sad if he heard you right now, Rin-Rin!” As a light wave of dread ran down his spine, Rin slowly turned around to see Nagisa—the blonde’s burgundy eyes were a little too sparkly for Rin’s peace of mind, with a curious smile growing on his face as well. “And did I hear something about flirting at a ball?”

“Oh god, it was you…” The words that Rin muttered under his breath seemed to excite Nagisa even further.

“Ooooohh, so Prince Haru-chan was your childhood crush? Awwww, that’s so sweet, Rin-Rin! Just let me drop a quick dove to Ai-cha—“

“DON’T YOU DARE!!” “Don’t put a –chan on my name!” Deflating at these near-synchronized responses, Nagisa’s cheeks puffed out.

“Eh~? You guys are no fun!” he whined. “Just like a certain somebody—“ As he muttered these last words, a voice came from behind him.

“Are you implying that I am no fun?” As Makoto, Haruka, and Rin looked up, they saw Rei emerge from behind Nagisa, a slightly disgruntled expression on his face. “That is rather unfair of you, Nagisa, don’t you think?” Before the pouting blonde could respond, Rin spoke first, his eye twitching.

“—Rei. What the hell are you wearing?” Blinking, Rei turned his attention towards Rin.

“Ah, this? It is my newest nightgown, Your Majesty.” He puffed his chest up proudly, placing his hands on his hips and showing off his garment. “I purchased it at the traveling bazaar a few days ago—not only does it provide psychological benefits, but it is also beautiful, don’t you think?” The nightgown Rei wore was black with large purple butterflies embroidered all over it, the edge reaching the man’s ankles. As Haruka just stared and Makoto tried his best not to laugh, Rin turned to Nagisa and deadpanned,

“If that’s why you’re pissed at him, I understand completely. Want me to help burn that for you?”

“What in the—just what do you mean by that, Your Majesty?!” As Rei drew up in protest, Nagisa spoke, his pout deepening.

“Would you listen to this, Rin-Rin?” he grumbled. “Out of all people, my own husband is denyi—mrf!” His words were cut short when Rei clapped a frantic hand over his mouth

“W-we simply had a small quarrel, that is all! It is nothing to be concerned over, Your Highness—nothing at all! Ahahaha!” Rin quirked a brow at Rei as the man proceeded to laugh awkwardly.

“Yeah, whatever you’re denying the kid, I don’t want to know—and I think these two are in the same boat, am I right?” he added, turning to Haruka and Makoto.

“Ah—well, I—“ Makoto’s ears began turning pink as he attempted to respond—but in the end, Nagisa shook Rei’s hand off and cut in.

“I’m not a kid anymore—that’s so mean, Rin-Rin! I’m actually older than Mako-chan over there, you know?!” Suddenly, the area around the fire fell silent, and three pairs of eyes turned towards an uncomfortable-looking Makoto.

“—Ah. Now that you mention it—“ Haruka stated.

“Well, if this world isn’t full of surprises,” Rin drawled.

“To be completely honest, I had forgotten myself,“ Rei added thoughtfully.

“YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST!” As Nagisa stomped his feet, Rin burst into laughter and Rei patted Nagisa on the shoulder comfortingly, a placating smile on his face. Looking embarrassed and sorry at the same time, Makoto rubbed the back of his head self-consciously.

“I-it isn’t all about looks, though, is it?” he said quickly. “After all, looks don’t exactly attest to maturity—it’s all about what’s on the inside!” As he said this, another silence fell over the area. It was Rin who spoke first, a smirk on his face.

“I’m not sure if that’s exactly making things better, kid,” he joked laughingly.

“You just admitted that you look mature,” Haruka observed from the side, making Makoto blush harder.

“Hmph! You guys all suck!” Still pouting, Nagisa stomped to the other side of the fire and sat down, sending some sand flying as he did.

“Now, now, Your Majesty, please stop poking fun at Nagisa,” Rei said, as he walked over to join his husband. When he sat down next to Nagisa, however, the blonde scooted away, face still pouting.

“I hate you too, Rei! Go away!” The phrase seemed to shock Rei, who froze momentarily. Recovering in the next moment, the man huffed as he stood up from his spot.

“Is that so? I shall leave for my tent then—“ Before he could leave, however, Makoto spoke up hurriedly.

“Actually, Rei-san, why don’t you join us for a while before going to bed?” He gave Rei his best peacemaker smile, catching the brunet’s attention. “It’s actually been a long while since—well, since I’ve traveled with friends like this. I’m always traveling because of work, and even when I meet people near my age I don’t really stay with them for very long, so…” He smiled shyly, scratching one side of his cheek. “I thought it would be nice if we could sit and talk for a while.” At this the four others exchanged looks before turning back to Makoto.

“I…I don’t see why not,” Rei finally said, sitting down—after putting some distance between himself and Nagisa. He didn’t notice that the blonde seemed to deflate a little at his actions.

“Sure thing, kid—if you want me to stick around that much, guess I’ll have to!” Rin commented, grinning as he sat down next to an embarrassed Makoto.

“I’m not sleepy,” Haruka said simply. “Nagisa?”

“…I guess I’m not, either,” Nagisa mumbled. “Since Mako-chan wants a slumber party, I’ll stick around some more too.” At this, Makoto smiled in relief and Rin rolled his eyes.

“Thanks for pinning Rei down, by the way,” he murmured to Makoto, cupping his mouth with one hand. “If these two don’t make up soon, they’ll be driving us all crazy the next day.”

“Aha…” Laughing awkwardly, Makoto turned his attention back to the group. For a moment of drawn-out silence, there was only the sound of the fire crackling, along with the howl of wind in the distance. After a while, it was Haruka who finally spoke.

“So? What are we going to do?” As he said this, Nagisa suddenly shot up from his seat.

“A talent show!” he yelled energetically, eyes sparkling. “Or truth or dare! Or both!”

“That was quick,” Rin observed, as Nagisa continued to speak excitedly.

“Oh, and we could even have an advice session! Get our troubles off our chest and have guys’ talk while we’re at it!”

“How many cliché sleepovers have you been to, kid?”

“Now, now, Your Highness,” Makoto spoke up, his voice placating.

“I can do the rain dance,” Haruka declared solemnly.

“Are you serious?” Before Rin could continue, Nagisa cut in.

“That’s the spirit, Haru-chan! You’re the best!” As the blonde threw his arms around Haruka, Rei’s eye twitched.

“Immature. Only children would think to do something like a talent show,” he grumbled. Catching his husband’s words, Nagisa turned to shoot Rei a glare.

“Just because you don’t have any talents to share doesn’t mean you have to ruin my—I mean, everyone else’s fun!” he retorted.

“Get off me, Nagisa,” Haruka grunted, back bending under Nagisa’s weight.

“Oi—did he just say ‘my fun’?” Rin asked no one in particular, his eye starting to twitch.

“Aha…” As Makoto let out a helpless laugh, Rei drew himself up indignantly.

“If you must know, I have many talents!” he said huffily. “After all, I have mastered the theory on several subjects—“

“Oh god…” Rin muttered, as Rei went on embellishing his self-declared talents. “I have a bad feeling about this…”

…

-5 minutes later-

“Ahem!” Clearing his throat, Rei stepped up in front of the fire. “Introducing myself!” Straightening his body, he sharply placed his hand over his forehead in a salute—one that had been like a habit for him back in his days as an underling soldier. “Name, Ryuugazaki Rei! Age, 28! Serving as General of the Royal Army under the Sultan of Iwatobi!” With a flourish of his hand, the man readjusted his glasses in a sharp movement, the lenses glinting as he did. “My charm point is my dual possession of flawless intellect and physical capabilities! My firm belief in life is that once a theory is mastered—“ As the brunet went on, Rin sighed under his breath.

“How did it get from just doing a talent show to doing everything on the list?” He gestured to Rei as the man continued his lengthy self-introduction.

“I’m not sure…” Makoto smiled good-naturedly. Next to him Haruka yawned, then returned to chewing on his mackerel jerky.

“—and an endless quest for beauty!” Rei finished triumphantly, hands on his hips. Rolling his eyes, Rin opened his mouth.

“So? What’s the biggest thing on your plate at the moment, Glasses?” he asked, catching Rei’s attention. “Doesn’t have anything to do with why this midget’s pissed at you, does it?”

“Your Highness!” “I’m not a midget!” When they realized they had spoken at nearly the same time, Nagisa and Rei stopped short of themselves, meeting each others’ eyes before looking away. As Nagisa continued to pout, Rei sighed.

“—That is not my greatest trouble, Your Majesty.” As Nagisa looked up slightly, Rei cleared his throat before continuing. “I would never be so simple-minded as…as to name our quarrel as such. We…” A slight blush dusted his cheeks as he turned his head away in reluctant embarrassment. “We…have many years to spend together, so…if I were to call that my greatest trouble, that would be…inaccurate. It…is but a small thing…so…”

“…Rei…” Nagisa’s eyes widened slightly—and when he realized he had said his husband’s name out loud, he quickly averted his eyes. However, none of the other three missed the hopeful glimmer that passed through Rei’s eyes. Sighing, Rin clicked his tongue.

“You two are beyond ridiculous. Whatever, just move on to the talents part already!” He smirked mischievously at Rei. “Heard you’ve been taking musical theater lessons from Nagisa, by the way—let’s see how much you’ve learned, soldier!” At this Rei colored a bright red.

“Th-that was only one time, Your Highness! And it was to assist Nagisa in preparing for his performance at the ban—wait, just how did you find out about that in the first place?!”

“How do you think, Glasses?” Rin replied, rolling his eyes.

“Nagisa!” As Rei wailed with reproach, Nagisa turned his head away, pouting.

“I only mentioned it once to Rin-Rin—and don’t talk to me, I’m still mad!” he added childishly.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake—“ Before Rin could continue, however, Makoto hurriedly cut in.

“Now, now—why don’t we watch Rei-san give his performance?” As he saw Rei pale, he quickly added, “Of course, that is if he wants to give a musical performance in particular—“

“Just do it,” Haruka said stoically. “It seems like it’ll be fun.”

“Your Majesty~!” Rei wailed. Both Haruka and Rin looked up at the same time.

“Just do it,” the two rulers commanded, their voices in sync. Overwhelmed by their authority, Rei eventually dropped his head in defeat.

“A-All right! Just, don’t laugh, understand?” Clearing his throat, he suddenly straightened up, legs planted together and arms planted firmly at his sides.

“’I-I believe I can fly!’” The others stared as Rei sang in a mechanical voice—his expression sharpening into one of confidence as he changed his pose, flapping his arms in overly flashy movements. “’I believe I can touch the sky—‘” As he sang this line, he jumped into the air and made a pirouette, his arm thrust out towards the sky, nightgown billowing around him.

“Oh god…” Rin murmured as Rei continued.

“’—think about it every night and day~!’” Folding his arms over his head, Rei dramatically threw his head back. “’Spread my wings and fly away~!’” Throwing his arms back, he leapt into the air with almost needless elegance, one knee up and the other straight at an angle. “I believe I can so—“

“BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!” When Rei heard laughter, he immediately dropped to the ground, whirling around.

“I said, don’t laugh!” he protested, face red—then stopped short when he saw Nagisa rolling on the sand, laughing and in tears. Shortly after, Rin broke out into guffaws as well, and as Haruka watched quietly from the sidelines Makoto clapped a hand over his mouth, trying not to laugh. For a moment, Rei stood with a stunned expression—then, a chuckle broke through his lips and he also joined in on the laughter.

“Ahahaha—ahhh, that was the best!” Nagisa gasped, wiping his tears. “When I didn’t think it could get any funnier than last time—“

“Haha—wait, what do you mean by ’last time’?!” As Rei responded indignantly, Rin spoke up.

“How can it be anything but hilarious when you’re in that getup?” he laughed, doubling over. “And that singing and dance routine, are you kidding me right now? Just how wrapped around Nagisa’s finger are you, Glasses? Bwahahaha!”

“Your Majesty!” As the three of them bickered amongst each other, Makoto turned to Haruka with a smile.

“They sure get along well, do they not, Your Highness?” Observing the lively trio from Iwatobi, Haruka continued to chew on his jerky.

“I suppose.” He tried not to think about his own family as his eyes moved to the fire.

“It would sadden me to part with them,” Makoto continued thoughtfully. “When my business takes me on a separate path, that is.” He shyly scratched the back of his head. “It may sound silly, but I already feel a kinship with them—though only a month has passed since we first met.”

“…As long as people are individuals, their paths will always diverge,” Haruka replied evenly. “It can’t be helped.” Makoto observed Haruka for a moment.

“Perhaps not—“ He smiled slightly. “But we can always hope that they converge again, can we not?” Upon hearing these words, Haruka stirred slightly in his seat—blue eyes flickering for a moment.

“—I suppose.” They turned their attention back to the Iwatobi trio, who seemed to have calmed down in their discussion.

“—was the last thing? Truth or dare?” Rin was saying, as he raised a brow at Rei. “So? Which one is it, Glasses?”

“I—“ Rei hesitated. “Truth, then, if you would, please.” As if he had expected this, Rin smirked.

“All right then. What were you saying about Nagisa to me yesterday?” Immediately, Rei’s face colored a bright red, as he quickly began looking at everywhere but Nagisa. The blonde himself perked up curiously, looking over at his husband. “And don’t try to fib anyone, I remember pretty well what you said.”

“Th-that’s—then why are you asking me this question, Your Highness?!” Rei sputtered.

“Hey, hey, I can ask any question I want to, can’t I?” Rin said smugly. “It’s your husband who decided the rules, so if you’ve got a problem just take it to him!” The rule was that all five of them would go in order from oldest to youngest, with the next in line able to command the person on the spot.

“I—that is—“ Rei hesitated. “Fine! I changed my mind, I would like to do a dare!” he shouted finally, the tips of his ears turning red. Letting out a tsk, Rin cupped his chin thoughtfully.

“Wow, what a bore you are—tch. Let’s see, dares, dares….” Soon, his eyes sparked with an idea, and the smirk returned to his face. “Oh, I’ve got one!” As Rei started to get a bad feeling about his choice, the redhead spoke his command. “I dare you to kiss any one person sitting around this fire!”

“E-eh?!” As Makoto reacted with a startled expression, Rei’s face began turning a brilliant red once more.

“B-but Your Majesty!” he protested. “I—“

“No ‘buts’,” Rin cut in. “And no going back this time, either.” He smirked. “Now get to it!”

“—All right!” As Rei finally gave in, all eyes turned expectantly towards Nagisa, who was looking away and trying very hard to seem like he was uninterested in the situation.

“Eh—he’s coming over here!” At Makoto’s surprised statement, the blonde finally looked up, eyes widening. He saw Rei march towards Rin, who also had a startled look on his face.

“Oi, Rei—the hell are you coming over here for?!” As a flustered Rei grabbed Rin by the face, Nagisa straightened up, a shout escaping his lips.

“Wait, Rei—!”

BUMP! In the next moment, Rei banged his forehead on Rin’s, making the redhead yelp out in pain.

“What the—the hell was that for?!” Ignoring Rin, Rei quickly did a 180 degree turn and stomped towards a startled Nagisa. Before the blonde could even react, Rei tugged him forward by the arm and planted a rough kiss on his cheek. As Nagisa’s eyes widened, Rei let go of his husband’s arm and turned on his heel, stomping back to his seat. He plopped himself down, face red, as he tried to speak in a calm voice.

“For revenge, Your Highness.” A few feet away, Nagisa’s mouth was opening and closing, his eyes looking dazed as his hand reached up to touch his flushed cheek. As Haruka looked on stoically and Makoto gaped with slightly pink cheeks, Rin frowned as he rubbed his forehead.

“Tch, the both of you are such a handful—“ Before he could continue, however, Nagisa’s slightly high voice cut in.

“Never mind that—it’s your turn now, Rin-Rin! Step up, step up!” In response, Rin cringed.

“Do I really have to do this—“ Haruka raised a brow at Rin.

“Who was the one talking about the rules just now?” Something like a smirk passed through Haruka’s face before it turned smooth once again. “Now it’s my turn to order you around.” In response Rin’s eye started twitching.

“Oi—you better not ask for anything screwed up!” Haruka only shrugged before smirking briefly again.

“We’ll see about that.”

“Ahh, they’re at it again…” Makoto murmured helplessly. Standing up, Rin cleared his throat.

“Matsuoka Rin. Age 25. Sultan of Iwatobi. Charm points are—oi, you brat, don’t laugh!” he snapped at Nagisa, who was already starting to giggle.

“Hey, Sultan of Iwatobi, I have a question for you,” Haruka cut in, raising a hand. “Was I really your first love?”

“Wha—I’m not even at that stage yet!” Rin sputtered, turning red.

“Ooh, never mind the other stuff, Rin-Rin!” Nagisa piped up from the side, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “What’s this about you and Prince Haru-chan? Tell us, tell us!”

“I admit that I myself am growing a little curious, Your Majesty,” Rei said, the hints of a smirk on his face as he readjusted his glasses. “Depending on the details, I may or may not mention this to Aiichirou-san as we—“

“Don’t you dare speak one word of this to him!” As Rin snapped at Rei, Haruka raised a brow.

“What’s the big deal? It’s something that happened when you were ten—and it’s not like much happened anyways.”

“It’s because he hasn’t confessed yet, Haru-chan!” Nagisa explained cheerfully. “They’ve been flirting for about a year now, but neither of them did anything about each other yet!”

“Nagisa—!” Rin growled.

“And to think you did nothing even before you embarked on this journey, Your Majesty,” Rei added with a slight sigh, readjusting his glasses. “I feel sympathy for Aiichirou-san—“

“Says the guy who spent ten years stalking and cockblocking himself before making a move,” Rin retorted, making Rei flush.

“I-It was not stalking, Your Majesty! And technically, it was only for two years, not ten!”

“So the exact number of years is that important to you? Way to be a stickler for details,” Nagisa muttered, pouting.

“Nagisa!” As Rei looked helplessly at his husband, Rin sighed.

“It’s precisely because we were going on this trip that I didn’t.” His eyes were solemn as they stared at the fire. “It might be a peace-making mission in name—but it’s going to be tricky, bargaining with those old geezers on the throne. What’s more, we’re going to be in their territory.” He cast a sidelong look at Haruka. “And especially for this guy’s kingdom, we’ll really have to go all out.” He turned to look at Makoto, Rei, and Nagisa. “That’s why I asked you all to come with me.”

“Rin-chan…” “Your Majesty…” A solemn look traveled over Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei’s faces as they also stared at the fire. From his seat, Haruka frowned slightly.

“I said that you don’t have to accompany me,” he said. “You can pretend you don’t know me—and I can get back in there on my own.” In response Rin raised a brow, his lips quirking up slightly in a smirk.

“You do realize that’s asking me to turn a blind eye to your plans? That already makes me in cahoots with you—and we’re not even at Iwami’s gates yet. You sure you want me to blab about you once I’m there?” At this Haruka’s frown deepened, before he turned his face away.

“That’s my problem, not yours,” he muttered.

“Untrue.” Rei readjusted his glasses as he spoke. “It is what we collectively decided to do—thus, it is most certainly our problem as well.”

“Yeah, Prince Haru-chan! If we combine our strengths, nothing’s impossible!” Nagisa piped up enthusiastically. “I’ll do my best on the court floor, and everywhere else too!”

“I will also do my best to support you, Your Highness,” Makoto added with a smile. “I’m sure it is meaningful that our paths crossed, after all.”

“Hear that?” Rin said, grinning triumphantly. “Setting me aside, these three won’t let you go stomping in there on your own. It’s too late to play the lone wolf now, Prince of Iwami.” Hakaru’s eyes widened for a moment—before he turned away, a blush forming on his cheeks as he frowned.

“Suit yourselves, then.” As the raven-haired man muttered these words, Makoto, Rei, and Nagisa shared happy looks between the three of them. Chuckling, Rin plopped back down on the sand.

“For being a prince, you sure are one tsundere,” he commented. “Aren’t princes supposed to be more charming or something?”

“Ah, but Rin-chan shouldn’t be the one to talk!” Nagisa piped up from his seat.

“What—the hell d’you mean by that?!” As Nagisa giggled, Haruka shot Rin a look.

“You seemed charmed enough when we first met, fifteen years ago.” The redhead immediately stiffened, and Nagisa’s ears perked up.

“Ahh, that’s right, you didn’t tell us about it yet, Rin-Rin!” he chimed. “How you met with Prince Haru-chan!”

“Th-that’s—“ Flushing, Rin hastily said, “Wait up a second! Who said anything about doing ‘truth’?! I pick da—“

“He mistook me for a girl,” Haruka spoke, cutting Rin off. “I used to cross-dress back then because of political reasons—and this guy fell for it at my father’s royal ball.” He directed an amused glance at Rin. “He was so persistent about wanting to dance, calling me ‘Princess’ over and over—I remember he even propo—mrf!” He stopped short when Rin clapped a hand over his mouth.

“Aww, so that’s how Rin-Rin met Haru-chan!” Nagisa clapped his hands in delight. “That’s so cute! Now all you gotta do is apply that aggressiveness to Ai-cha—“ “Can it, midget!” “Eeeh~? So mean!” As Rei and Makoto laughed at the banter, Rin let out a tsk before turning back to Haruka.

“Oi. It’s your turn now, loudmouth.” He gently elbowed Haruka in the ribs, a tight smile on his face and a vein popping out on his forehead. “Get up there and embarrass yourself!”

“Sure—not like I can embarrass myself more than you did.” Haruka glanced at Rei. “And him.”

“Your Highness~!” As Rei wailed and Rin gave him a look, Haruka stood up.

“Nanase…Haruka. Age 25. Iwami’s second prince. Charm points are—“ He closed his eyes before he answered with solemnity. “My ability to sense water.”

“Oh god, he’s really not embarrassed,” Rin murmured laughingly, and Makoto laughed good-naturedly from beside him.

“My greatest troubles are—“ Swallowing, Haruka grabbed his throat. “The lack of water. Especially for swimming.”

“Shouldn’t it be taking your kingdom back?” Rei commented incredulously.

“And now, I will do the rain dance.” Taking a deep breath, the raven-haired man started dancing.

“Wow—is that needlessly professional or what?” Rin commented, as Haruka moved gracefully with his eyes closed.

“Hehe—but he seems to be enjoying himself!” Nagisa commented.

“That is rather beautiful,” Rei commented in awe, readjusting his glasses.

“He really is graceful, isn’t he?” Makoto smiled. “It’s like he’s dancing in water.”

“Too bad it’s not actually bringing any rain,” Rin said, yawning. “The heat really is brutal out here.”

“But it’s kinda chilly at night, don’t you think?” Nagisa said, clutching his arms as he shivered slightly. At this, Rei looked up as if to say something, but closed his mouth again as if he caught himself. Noticing this, Rin grinned and called out to Haruka.

“Oi, you’ve done enough now. Sit down so Nagisa can go.”

“Eh? But Haru-chan still hasn’t—“

“I don’t mind.” Haruka retook his place near the fire, sitting down. “Go ahead, Nagisa.”

“Ehh~?” As Nagisa stood up, Rin turned to Makoto with a grin and whispered,

“You better make the truth or dare part good, Makoto. I’m counting on you.”

“E-Eh?” As Makoto blinked a little nervously, Nagisa spoke.

“Ahem! Hazuki Nagisa! Age 21! Iwatobi’s royal dancer! My charm points are—“ He winked at the others with a grin. “My winning smile and my bubbly personality!”

“Where do these people get their confidence,” Rin murmured dryly.

“Now, now, Your Highness,” Makoto said.

“And right now, my troubles are—“ Nagisa faltered slightly when his eyes happened to land on Rei, who averted his eyes hesitantly. The blonde’s cheeks puffed out before he shouted towards the sky.

“MY OWN HUSBAND WON’T MAKE LOVE TO ME EVER SINCE THIS TRIP STARTED!!” As he yelled out these words, Rei’s head snapped up, his face turning a beet-red in the matter of a second. “JUST BECAUSE WE’RE CAMPING WITH OTHER PEOPLE! AND EVEN THOUGH I SAID IT’D BE FINE IF WE MOVE OUR TENT AWAY A LITTLE BIT—mrf!” His shouts were stopped short when a scarlet-faced Rei clapped a hand over his mouth.

“PLEASE FORGET WHAT YOU HEARD!!” he yelped in desperation as Nagisa struggled in his grasp. “And Nagisa, p-people are sleeping right now! You’ll wake them up—“ Just as he said this, Rei could hear what sounded suspiciously like giggling coming from the tents nearby. As his face turned a second shade of red, Rin gave the both of them an unamused look.

“Why am I not surprised,” he deadpanned. “By the way, you better move your tent a good mile away, or I’ll banish the two of you for impropriety.”

“Your Majesty!” Rei wailed. As Haru watched stoically and Makoto watched with pink ears, Nagisa wiggled out of Rei’s grip, cheeks still puffed out.

“I’ll move on to my talents!” He held out his straightened arms at an angle from his sides, hands angled at his wrist, legs firmly planted together. “Guess what I’m imitating!” With that, he started waddling, lips puckered and eyes shining with concentration.

“…Oi, Rei,” Rin began, brow raised at the blonde. “What the hell is he doing?”

“…I actually have no idea, Your Majesty,” Rei responded, puzzled. Frowning, Nagisa continued to waddle even harder.

“Think harder! Can’t you tell what I’m imitating?” He turned his eyes towards Makoto, who looked unconfident.

“E-eh? Uhm—perhaps, a soldier’s march?” he guessed uncertainly.

“A puppet?” Haruka guessed.

“It’s a penguin! Geez!” Nagisa pouted at the others. “The birds that used to exist when there was ice around!”

“Ahh—!” Makoto’s eyes shone with understanding. “I remember my father telling me stories about them—they were flightless birds who could swim in water, was it?”

“The hell should I know?” Rin said, scratching the back of his head. “Sasabe never taught me anything like that during biology lessons.”

“It’s what Rei taught me, Rin-chan!” Nagisa said proudly, both hands on his hips. “So I’m smarter than the Sultan—haha!”

“What did you say, brat?” As the two of them bantered back and forth, Makoto noticed that Rei looked rather happy, a small smile on his face as he watched his husband. The sight made the teen smile as well.

“—Makoto!” He snapped out of his thoughts when Rin called his name. “Ask him a question!”

“Ah—“ Looking hesitantly at Rin, who was giving him a look that said ‘Ask something embarrassing!’ and then at Nagisa, who was looking pleadingly at him, Makoto started to sweat. “Uhmm….” Scratching his head uncertainly, he opened his mouth.

“I have been wondering this for a while, but…how come you don’t refer to Rei-san with a ‘-chan’ at the end?” Hoping that he had compromised between Rin and Nagisa’s wishes, Makoto looked at the blonde—to see him blushing.

“E-eh?” As Nagisa faltered in his answer, Rei perked up from his seat. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“Ah—“ Seeing the panicked glances the blonde was sending him, Makoto hesitated. “Well, you seem to call everyone else with ‘–chan’—even His Majesty Haruka, and it hasn’t been very long since you first met him, so—I got the impression that you were very friendly in that sense. But you always call Rei-san by just his name—“ He scratched the back of his head embarrassedly. “But I guess that’s natural—after all, you two are married, so—“

“Hey, Nagisa,” Rin cut in smoothly, a smile on his face. “You want to switch to dare?”

“Y-yeah!” Nagisa said too quickly—then, as if reading Rin’s mind, quickly did a backstep. “W-wait, no! Never mind, I’ll just—“

“Call him with a ‘–chan’ at the end,” Rin finished, grinning as he pointed a thumb back towards Rei. “If there’s no particular reason why you’re not, I dare you to.”

“W-wait, Your Highness!” As a blushing Rei stepped in to diffuse the situation, he heard Nagisa speak in a small voice.

“…i-chan….” As the surprised brunet turned towards him, Nagisa spoke again in a louder voice.

“Rei-chan.” He looked away, lowering his eyes shyly, cheeks burning.

“…Eh?” Rei blinked. “Ah—eh—uh—“ Immediately, his face turned beet-red, almost seeming to go up in smoke. “Y-yes?!” As he squeaked out his answer, Makoto gave them his mother-hen smile and Rin grinned triumphantly.

“You just shouted for the world to hear that you weren’t getting laid, and now you’re acting all blushy over nicknames? You’re ridiculous, the both of you.”

“Th-that was only Nagisa, Your Highness!” Rei stuttered defensively, ears red as he turned to look at Rin.

“Grrr!!! I don’t know anymore! I hate you, Rin-Rin!!” As Nagisa stomped over to sit back down, Rin laughed.

“’A real man never goes back on his word’, was it?” Sitting back, the redhead looked at Makoto. “You’re up next, big kid!”

“Is it just me or are you enjoying this more than Nagisa?” Haruka commented, a hint of teasing in his voice. “Who’s the kid now?”

“Oi!” As Rin glared at Haruka, Makoto shyly took the stand.

“Eh, uhm—Tachibana Makoto! Age, 18! Traveling merch—eh? Wh-why are you all staring?” he asked, as the four others studied him thoroughly.

“Eighteen, huh—“ “Amazing.” “Only person I’ve seen who’s taller than him is Mikoshiba.” “What a growth spurt—I’m so jealous~!” “Maybe he’s been eating different things?” “Like DHA?” “So mackerel is the key—“

“E-eh?!” Waving his hands before him desperately, Makoto said, “I-it’s not anything special! J-just, both my parents are very tall and—wait, what do you mean by mackerel?!” At his reaction, Nagisa, Rin, and Rei burst out laughing.

“For someone your size and build, you sure get embarrassed easily!” Rin said, guffawing. “Not to mention how you got scared by the wind howling at night, saying it was a coyote—“

“Your Majesty!” As Makoto shouted in protest, Haruka sensed a movement to his left. His eyes turned slightly to see Rei sidling closer to Nagisa, who was clutching his arms and shivering again. The brunet quietly put an arm around his husband, surprising the blonde.

“You should have brought a blanket with you,” Rei scolded, looking away with a faint blush on his cheeks. “You know you get cold easily.”

“Eh? …Ah…” Turning his own eyes towards the sand (but not moving away), Nagisa mumbled, “Thanks.” At this, a soft smile graced Rei’s face—before he coincidentally met Haruka’s eyes. As the man quickly averted his eyes, the blush on his cheeks growing darker, Haruka let out a small laugh before returning his attention to Makoto.

“—eh, what was I saying? Ahem—my charm points are…uhmm…” Makoto thought for a moment before his eyes lit up. “I’m good at looking after children—and cats, too!” He rubbed the back of his head. “Not that I mean to brag—“

“No one thinks you’re bragging, kid” Rin said offhandedly. “You could’ve even said ‘my height’ and still no one would think that.” Shyly, Makoto rubbed the back of his head.

“Thank you, Your Majesty…and uhm…I guess my biggest troubles are educating Ran and Ren.” A look of brotherly worry crossed his face as he continued. “Not just with studying, but with etiquette like table manners—and I think Ran is going through a phase with avoiding onions in her food…”

“Aww, you’d be such a good mother, Mako-chan!” Nagisa called cheerfully—now happily seated in Rei’s lap.

“Wow, when did they fuse back into one entity?” Rin murmured.

“Don’t be jealous, Rin,” Haruka said stoically. “It’s not their fault your boyfriend isn’t here—“

“Shut the hell up!” As they bickered in the background, Makoto scratched his cheek thoughtfully.

“Eh—what to do for talents—“ As he said this to himself, Nagisa raised a hand.

“Ooh, ooh! Tell us a story, Mako-chan! It is your specialty after all!”

“Nagisa—you nearly hit my glasses!” Rei scolded. “And actually, that would be wonderful. Your stories are always fascinating to hear, Makoto-san.”

“Ah—really?” Makoto scratched his cheek shyly. “Then I suppose I’ll go with that. Let’s see—what to tell…ah!” He clapped his hands together. “Here’s a story that takes place in the ocean!” When he saw that Rin and Haruka were also paying attention, Makoto began.

“Once upon a time, in the seven seas, sailed five pirates…” As the traveling merchant spun his tale, the four men listened, captivated by the story.

…

“…and each time they parted, they agreed to meet again, at the island of memories.” As Makoto finished his tale, he heard soft snoring. Looking up, he saw that Nagisa was asleep in Rei’s lap, cheek pressed against the man’s chest as he breathed in and out. Rei was looking down at his husband with a soft smile on his face.

“It seems that he was tired,” he explained in an undertone to the others. “We did walk a long distance today, after all.” As he said this, Rin yawned.

“Yeah, I should hit the sack, too.” He looked over at Makoto. “And it’s probably past your bedtime, kid. Thanks for the story, by the way.”

“Ah, you’re welcome,” Makoto replied, smiling. “We should retire to our tents, then.” The four of them stood up—Rei carefully lifting the sleeping Nagisa in his arms.

“Remember what I said, Rei—a mile away at the least,” Rin warned, making the guard blush.

“There is no need for such concern, Your Majesty!” he retorted in a whisper. As he said this, Nagisa shifted in Rei’s arms, flinging his arms around the man’s neck in his sleep.

“Rei…cha…” As the blonde unconsciously nuzzled his face in the crook of Rei’s neck, the brunet flushed harder.

“You sure about that?” As Rin smirked at Rei, Makoto spoke.

“The stars sure are bright tonight.” At his words, the three others looked up. True to the teen’s words, the stars shone a brilliant white as they dotted the night sky overhead.

“Indeed. They are beautiful,” Rei murmured. “I see them all the time up high in the palace, with the kingdom’s silhouette in the background—but here from a flat plain in the desert, they seem to have a whole other beauty.”

“…Yeah.” Rin thought about the open baths he had used to swim in as a child—how the water had reflected the blue sky overhead. “Might be nice to swim in a pool full of stars sometime.”

“Pft.”

“Oi! You just laughed, didn’t you?!” As Rin snapped at Haruka, Rei put a finger to his lips.

“Shhh, Your Majesty! People are sleeping!”

“Yeah, Sultan—don’t rouse your people so early.”

“Arghh!” As the three of them bickered amongst themselves, Makoto sighed.

“I don’t know just who the child is here,” he murmured. But eventually, he smiled, chuckling slightly to himself.

But it’s been a while since I’ve had so much fun. He stepped forward to join the others in their walk towards the tents—the stars looking on from overhead.

…

Needless to say, either Rin nor Haruka, nor even Makoto were surprised when a cheerful Nagisa showed up at breakfast wearing Rei’s nightgown. And none of them were surprised when a red-faced Rei avoided their eyes the entire time, silently eating his meal. After all, all three of them had noticed the lone tent standing a significance distance away from the others. Although it was hardly a mile away, Rin supposed he should be glad that he had not been woken up in the middle of the night.

At least the stars in the desert sky had been beautiful. And that was the only image Rin needed to associate with the night before, in his memories.

Chapter Text

11. A Fool’s Courage

Time Setting: Hazuki Nagisa, age 21/Ryuugazaki Rei, age 28
Flashbacks of Ryuugazaki Rei, age 24

-Four Years Ago-

“Please…!”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Rei could feel his knees starting to hurt. The sun-soaked pavement burned his skin, the heat from the rock seeping through the thin fabric of his pants as he knelt before the three women in dancers’ clothes. His large, tan hands were fisted in the white cotton, and trembling. He dared not look up, for fear that he might lose his courage.

“…Do you know what you are suggesting, Your Honor?” It was the auburn haired woman who spoke first, her burgundy eyes searching as she looked down at Rei, as if she were seeing right through him. “An act like that is not child’s play—you should not say such things lightly—“

“I am not!” Rei said earnestly, looking up to meet the woman’s eyes. “I know—I know it would be putting your brother’s honor on the line—and not knowing the truth will likely cause him grief—but even so…!” His hands clenched around his pants. “I just wish to protect him—so that he will be free to live as he wishes…!”

“…But why?” Nagisa’s sister stared down at him, burgundy eyes thoughtful. “Why would you go to such lengths to throw away your own honor—and why should we trust you? It has been an awfully long time since the two of you even met, Rei-san.” For a moment, a silence rang between the two adults—before Rei opened his mouth.

“—I love him.”

As the other two Hazuki sisters silently exchanged surprised looks, Rei looked up to meet Nagisa’s eldest sister square in the eye. “All these years I—I have seen him during my patrols through the kingdom. I have never approached him or made myself known to him since—since I believed you made your wishes on that matter clear, Hazuki-san. And somehow—I have grown to fall in love with him.” His brows furrowed in earnest as he continued. “I know, that it sounds suspicious and illogical, that it doesn’t make sense—but it is the truth, one I have come to terms with at last.” He bit his lip.

“That is why I am willing to do anything—anything if it means that I can protect his happiness. Even if he does not return my feelings, or even despises me—I am fine with that. So please.” Placing his palms on the scorching rock, Rei dropped his forehead to the ground and bowed, startling the Hazuki sisters. The skin under his bangs began turning red with the heat, his glasses hanging dangerously close to the pavement—his eyes shut tightly in earnest.

-Present-

‘Please entrust him to me…!’

With a start, Rei’s eyes flew open to a dark ceiling of canvas. While they readjusted to the dark, he realized that he was lying in the tent he shared with Nagisa. From outside, the faint sound of the ocean water lapping against the beach could be heard, the salty smell of the sea drifting in through the tent flap. Blinking, Rei remembered that he was currently traveling with Rin and his caravan—they were currently camping on the beach for the night. Which meant that he must have been dreaming about the past just now. The brunet took a moment to just lie there in the tent, staring at the canvas overhead, organizing the many thoughts in his head.

When he had first approached the Hazuki sisters, Rei recalled, it had been just one week before his first wedding with Nagisa was held. He had finally managed to speak to them at one of the nobles’ parties for which they performed—and thankfully (or not), Nagisa had not been present then. Even four years later, Rei remembered everything—his own shaking hands, the Hazuki sisters’ suspicious stares, and the scorching pavement that had burned his forehead as he bowed down before them, pleaded with them for the blonde’s hand in marriage.

He remembered having a serious talk with his uncle, the countless bouts of nervousness and stomachaches he had the week before their wedding. The twinges of guilt in his heart when Nagisa would not even look at him during the ceremony. The hurt he thought he did not deserve to feel, when the boy flinched away from him before their kiss, and on their wedding night. The surprise when Nagisa first spoke to him at the dining table, the worry that he had ruined any prospect of being on decent terms with the blonde—and the burst of happiness he had felt when Nagisa first visited his study and extended a hand of friendship.

Looking back on some of the events that had transpired afterwards, Rei knew that it had not been the best start for their relationship. But all the same, as he lay beside a sleeping Nagisa in the present, his arm around the blonde’s waist and the younger man’s head nestled against the crook of his neck, his chest heaving up and down as he lay in slumber, Rei was glad that he had finally reached out four years ago, had made himself known to Nagisa in some way. He wondered what he would have been doing now, had he never taken any action—somehow, he thought he would still be watching the boy from afar. Or worse, he could have been watching Nagisa from afar as he smiled for another man or woman…

Just thinking about the possibility made Rei’s heart clench, and unconsciously his arm around his sleeping husband tightened a little, as he drew the man closer to himself. Unfortunately, the motion caused Nagisa to stir in Rei’s arms, and it was not long before he was sitting up and rubbing his eyes sleepily.

“…Rei…?” Cracking his eyes open, Nagisa studied his wide-awake husband with sleepy surprise. “You weren’t sleeping?” His cheeks flushing, Rei leaned down and pressed a kiss to Nagisa’s forehead.

“I woke up just a moment ago,” he murmured against Nagisa’s hair. “I didn’t intend to wake you—I’m sorry.” With a smile that was now only slightly sleepy, Nagisa shook his head and wrapped his arms around his husband, snuggling back into his chest.

“It’s fine—my dream was just about to end, anyways.” He laughed, causing Rei to become curious.

“Dream? What is it that you were dreaming about?” he asked, snaking a hand up behind Nagisa’s head to stroke his hair gently. Leaning into the touch, the blonde nuzzled his head against those gentle calloused hands before responding.

“I didn’t really see anything in the dream,” he said, yawning slightly. “But there was this gentle voice ringing in my ears—and I was sitting in that person’s lap—I think he was reading me a storybook.” Nagisa smiled against Rei’s chest as he felt the brunet’s breathing stop. “It felt really nostalgic—and then, I realized that it was you reading to me. And that was when I woke up.”

“…You remember? From that time?” Rei asked with surprise. Nagisa giggled as he shifted closer to Rei on their blankets.

“Just recently—I remembered hearing your voice first. It was higher than it is now, but it’s still the same—so gentle and focused.” His ears flushing slightly, Rei let out what he hoped was a casual-sounding ‘hmm’ as he hugged the blonde close. “And then I remembered what it felt like, sitting in your lap—I remember it was warm, and really comfortable. You were just like an old comfy armchair!” As Nagisa teased Rei, the older man sat up with a slightly indignant look.

“I would appreciate it if you would not compare me to a piece of furniture.” Giggling, Nagisa reached up and gave Rei’s lips a quick, placating peck.

“It was meant as a compliment, silly! Don’t look so peeved.” Smiling, the blonde reached up towards his own head and took Rei’s hand in his own, their fingers intertwining together naturally. “The next thing I remembered were your hands turning the pages—they were different from now, paler and smoother—although they were long and thin back then, too.” Lifting Rei’s hand, Nagisa placed it on his own cheek, closing his eyes pleasantly at the warmth. “And they feel just as warm now.” At these words, the edges of Rei’s eyes melted slightly, taking in the face of his husband with unconcealed affection.

“That was before I joined the royal army,” he explained. “Before then, I used to stay inside the house most of the time—I was always in the study reading, and as I held no interest in sports or anything of the like at the time, I rarely ever went outside. It is a good thing that my priorities changed to include physical fitness as well—although without the goal of entering His Majesty’s forces, I may not have shown any interest at all.”

“Well, I do like how fit you are!” Nagisa said brightly. “Especially at times like this…” Flushing a bright red, Rei smacked Nagisa lightly on the head, and the blonde laughed. “But I liked how you looked back then, too—tall and slim and pale, with your dark hair and pretty eyes—the little me probably wanted to take you as a bride!” As Rei choked on his spit and started coughing violently, Nagisa laughed again and reached around to smack his husband on the back.

“A bride?” Rei finally choked out, when his coughs had subsided somewhat. “That is how you saw me all along?!” He received a playful wink from the blonde in response.

“It was only a silly thought—and I may or may not have actually thought it—but either way, you were a sight for sore eyes! You looked far prettier than my sisters, even!” Rei snorted in response, the sound failing to mask the flush in his cheeks.

“I am not sure whether you mean to flatter me or tease me.” Nagisa grinned in response.

“It’s a little of both!” he chirped cheerfully. “Take it any way you’d like!” With that, he started humming—and Rei thought that he could recognize the tune that floated out from between the blonde’s lips.

“Is that…” Before he could finish his question, Nagisa nodded.

“It’s the song I hummed when I danced for you back then! It was one of my favorite songs to dance to when I was little. I’m surprised you remember it!”

“…Of course I remember.” Rei’s eyes softened with nostalgia and more affection as he looked at his husband. “You said you wanted to cheer me up with your dance—and you did. The joy on your face as you danced—it gave me hope when I thought I had lost all of it. There is no way I would forget it.” He patted Nagisa’s head affectionately, taking pleasure in the way that the blonde’s face was warming.

“Well, you were hardly cracking a smile all throughout your visit—and I even made you cry somehow. I had to do something to fix it!” he mumbled, burying his face in Rei’s chest. “I thought reading might do the trick, since you said you liked it…so you can’t blame me for being shocked…” Surprised at how much Nagisa remembered about his past now, Rei reached down to stroke his husband’s cheek.

“It wasn’t you who made me cry,” he murmured gently. “It was remembering about my parents—how they used to seat me in their laps and read picture books aloud to me as well. And that was the first time I had cried since their death—so I must have startled you with my sobbing. I’m sorry for shocking you.” Nagisa shook his head.

“It’s all right—I’m just happy that you finally let your feelings out. And I’m glad I could at least let you hug me back then.” He hoped that his seven-year-old self had eased Rei’s pain that day, when the fourteen-year-old had clung to him like a child as he let his tears fall. “If I was able to comfort you somehow, then that’s fine with me.” With that, he reached up to kiss each of Rei’s eyelids affectionately. “Although I prefer to see these pretty eyes smiling!” At these words, Rei’s smile melted even more. The brunet pulled Nagisa back down so that they were eye to eye with each other.

“You have—and you will. How do they look now?” He received a smile in response from his husband before the blonde leaned forward, touching his forehead with Rei’s.

“Happily in love,” he teased in a soft, playful voice. “I would hope!” The emotions in his own burgundy eyes reflected that of Rei’s, the beautiful irises shining, making up the beginnings of a person who was Rei’s hope and future.

“You know so.” And with that, the two husbands leaned in, their lips meeting in a series of tender kisses. And as Nagisa lay nestled in his arms, Rei felt as if he held all of the world’s hope in those bright eyes and happy smile.

-Fin.