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daehwi misses jinyoung so much. it has been weeks since they last saw each other. daehwi knows how hard college can be so he’s trying really hard to distance himself from jinyoung because he’s scared that he’ll just end up distracting him from studying.
it was friday night and jinyoung doesn’t have any classes for the weekend, and also, he’s finally done with his exams. with this thought, daehwi decided to call jinyoung, thinking he’s free and that he can finally see the young boy again.
daehwi called jinyoung for only-god-knows how many times but still got no response.
he was hurt. usually, it wouldn’t even reach 3 rings before jinyoung answers his call.
he already had everything pictured out in his mind. jinyoung and him cuddling in bed while watching their favorite netflix series, how i met your mother, until 5 in the morning.
daehwi decided to send his boyfriend a message that says ‘hyung, why aren’t you answering my calls? :(‘.
he waited and waited but still got no response. it was just 8 in the evening, and he knows that jinyoung isn’t the type of person who would sleep at 8pm.
‘hyung, i miss you so much. are you free tonight? or maybe tomorrow? can we please meet?’, it was daehwi’s last draw.
he waited for an hour with a hopeful spirit but still, jinyoung didn’t reply.
daehwi would be lying if he says he wasn’t hurt. he was sad and disappointed at the same time.
daehwi ended up sleeping with a heavy heart and a wet pillow.
saturday came, and daehwi’s first reflex was to reach for his phone and check it. just a few instagram and twitter notifications from his friends. and nothing from jinyoung.
daehwi let out a heavy sigh and snuggled his head onto the white pillow of his bed while wrapping himself up with the comforter like a burrito. it’s what he always does when he’s upset.
he decided to get up from his bed because he realised sulking will not do anything. he went to the bathroom to take a long shower and groomed himself very well. he wore a tattered tight skinned black jeans with a top of a simple beige-colored sweater pairing them up with a white sneakers.
he was gonna go to jinyoung’s condo. he couldn’t take it anymore, he wanted to see and feel his boyfriend’s presence so bad.
jinyoung’s condo was an hour long ride from his. throughout the ride, he felt extremely giddy inside knowing he will finally see jinyoung after weeks of suffering. he longed for his warmth way more than he expected himself to do so. he realized how hard life would be without jinyoung on his side. he purposely didn’t tell jinyoung he was coming because he wanted to surprise the boy.
surprisingly, the ride to jinyoung’s place didn’t even took an hour long. maybe because it’s still early in the morning, daehwi thought, considering it is only 7am.
daehwi is already in front of jinyoung’s condo. he felt butterflies in his stomach as he inputted jinyoung’s passcode. he felt a tint of happiness when jinyoung’s passcode is still the same. 090317. their anniversary.
jinyoung’s condo was quiet. he went through the living room and everything is clean. just like how it has always been. jinyoung wasn’t exactly a fan of disorganised stuffs. daehwi liked that about him.
jinyoung’s condo was simple yet elegant-looking. everything is either white or gray. he had two rooms. one for his own, and the other one served as the guest room. jinyoung’s condo wasn’t exactly big but daehwi could say it was hella spacious considering the fact that jinyoung lives here alone.
daehwi kept on tiptoeing, seemingly afraid of making any noise. finally, he reached the front of jinyoung’s room. he was kinda hesitating whether he should open it or not.
at the end, the younger decided to open the door and a sleeping puppy greeted him. and yes, that sleeping puppy is jinyoung.
jinyoung’s body was facing the bed while his head was placed on his right side, giving daehwi a good look of his face. his mouth was slightly open and his hair was disheveled that just made him looked cuter.
he was wearing a white shirt and a gray sweatpants. he looked so peaceful. daehwi let out a tiny ‘aw’ before closing jinyoung and his distance.
daehwi crouched in order to take a closer look of jinyoung’s face.
his eyelashes are very long, which daehwi is very jealous of by the way, and he had this really cute pointed nose and a pink plump lips. daehwi was able to notice the dark eyebags that jinyoung has. he sighed, thinking that jinyoung shouldn’t overwork himself and that he should take care of himself more.
daehwi touched jinyoung’s hair strand that was falling onto his eyes and as soon as the younger held the older’s hair, jinyoung’s eyes opened. daehwi forgot his boyfriend was a light sleeper.
“hey,” daehwi said with a soft voice and a small smile. no matter how upset he is, just one look from bae jinyoung and he’s already held captive again.
“wait, are you real?” jinyoung said with his hoarse voice as he touched daehwi’s face, looking hella confused.
daehwi couldn’t help but to let out a chuckle.
“ofcourse i am dumbass. i missed you,” daehwi caressed jinyoung’s face as if it was some artwork that he’s too scared he might destroy with a simple touch.
jinyoung got up quick and enveloped daehwi for a very warm hug.
it felt like home. not only to daehwi, but also to jinyoung. they were each other’s home.
both of them snuggled their heads onto each other’s neck. they stayed in that position for only-god-knows how long until jinyoung felt a warm water on his neck.
he pulled out of the hug just to see a sobbing daehwi. he looked cute, but jinyoung’s heart ached so much knowing he’s the reason of daehwi’s tears. he’s the one hurting daehwi. he’s the one making daehwi suffer.
“hey, hwi, i’m so sorry, please stop crying. baby please,” jinyoung pleaded. he couldn’t bare to see daehwi cry. he hates seeing his boyfriend cry.
“this is all your fault! i haven’t seen you in weeks and i couldn’t contact you as much as i want to because i didn’t want to distract you from studying and i tried contacting you last night but you didn’t respond and i was so sad because i miss you so fucking much and i cou—“ daehwi’s rants were cut off when he suddenly felt jinyoung’s warm and soft lips onto his. he was taken aback but he was able to respond to jinyoung’s kiss quick.
jinyoung held daehwi’s head softly, not wanting to hurt the younger, he made the kiss deeper and more passionate because god he missed daehwi. he missed his daehwi so much.
jinyoung pulled out and rested his forehead on the daehwi’s. he was still catching his breathe and so was the younger.
“i love you. so much. please never forget that, hwi. no matter what happens. okay?”
daehwi let out a small smile and nodded, “okay.”
the day went by fast after that, all they did was catch up with each other and cuddle all day long.
but then, that’s it. it went back to what it was again. jinyoung barely contacts daehwi anymore. they haven’t seen each other in days, turned weeks, turned months.
daehwi, on the other hand, never gave up. he always made sure he sent jinyoung a message everyday.
but daehwi was a student, just like jinyoung. he had a lot of things going on on his shoulder.
daehwi gets tired too.
and at some point, they just stopped talking. both of them became busy with their own lives. not realizing that both of them are now slowly drifting apart from each other.
daehwi woke up with the sound of his alarm. sigh, just another day to go to school. he thought to himself. he quickly got up from his bed and took a quick glance on his phone before going to the bathroom.
he was stopped on his track when he saw a familiar name pop on the screen.
멍멍이
:hey, daehwi. i think we need to talk. let’s meet later at the playground in your subdivision. after school.
daehwi’s heart skipped a bit when he saw jinyoung’s saved contact name. puppy.
but the thing is, jinyoung wanted to talk. he wanted to sort things out.
daehwi felt his heart race. he already know what’s about to happen. and he’s not sure if he’s ready to face the truth yet.
the day passed by in a blur, without daehwi noticing, school’s already over and for the first time, daehwi wished it didn’t.
daehwi’s school is only a few blocks away from the subdivision so he decided to just walk on the way. because this way, time will technically be slower.
he knew it was about to end. he knew it too damn well. daehwi didn’t want it too. but they both had to. his relationship with jinyoung isn’t that health anymore. hell, they even seemed like they’re worst than strangers.
daehwi felt like his heart was about to get out of his rib cage as he saw a back of a man seating on one of the swings at the playground.
it was jinyoung.
daehwi’s hand were sweaty as hell. his mind went blank and he didn’t know what to do. what will he say once jinyoung breaks up with? how will he react? will he be sad? daehwi had lots of thought in his mind when an awfully familiar voice called him.
“lee daehwi,” daehwi felt shivers down his spines when he heard jinyoung call his name. it has been months, and jinyoung still has the same effect on daehwi. he makes daehwi weak.
daehwi gave him a small smile and walked closer to him. he sat to the swing next to jinyoung’s.
“hi,” the younger awkwardly let out while looking at jinyoung.
the older just chuckled and gave daehwi a small smile (that seemed kinda fake) and looked at him intently.
there was a long silence after that. no one wanted to talk. or maybe they were both trying to absorb what was happening to them.
why did it have to come at this point?
they were happy, they were sad. there were ups and downs but they didn’t let those be in control of their relationship. they held on strong, because they love each other.
but what happened?
“so, how are you?” jinyoung blurted out of the awkward silence.
“do you want an honest answer?” daehwi asked jinyoung as he looked at him.
“i’m not okay, i’m not doing fine. i’m hurt. and i’m fucking breaking, jinyoung.” daehwi’s smile was no longer visible. his eyes glistened as his tears were building up.
jinyoung’s face softens. god, he didn’t want this to happen. he never wanted it to come to this point.
jinyoung looked away. he hates to see daehwi hurt. ironic, considering the fact that he’s always the reason why daehwi’s hurting.
“i’m sorry. this is all my fault.” jinyoung felt a lump on his throat as he said those words.
daehwi stood up and went infront of jinyoung.
“hey, look at me,” daehwi’s voice was like a lullaby, it was like he was talking to a kid.
to match daehwi, jinyoung stood up from his seat and looked at the latter.
jinyoung couldn’t help it anymore. the tears he’d been trying to hold finally went out.
they were both vulnerable. they were both hurt.
“look, it’s nobody’s fault, okay? it’s just universe fucking with us with all its wrong timing and stuff.” daehwi cupped jinyoung’s face and removed the tears rolling down from jinyoung’s cheek.
“i’m sorry i wasn’t the boyfriend you deserved. i’m sorry i was lacking in so many things. i’m sorry i kept on hurting you. i’m sorry i made you feel like shit. but please know that i love you so fucking much, daehwi. i love you so much that this thing happening right is making me go crazy. i don’t want to let you go— god i would never,” jinyoung stopped as he tried to get a deep breathe because everything was just too much to take. he was now a crying mess. he‘s still in disbelief that this is happening right now. “—b-but i have to. i don’t want to be selfish. i want you to be happy, daehwi, because you deserve that. you deserve to be happy.”
jinyoung held daehwi’s face like he was fragile. he looked at every single detail daehwi has. this might be the last time he can see these details, and he’s making sure he doesn’t forget them. because he’s about to let go of his life. and he’s not sure if can take that yet.
“baby please don’t say sorry, you’re the best boyfriend someone could ever wish for. you made me happy. very. and you deserve to be happy too, jinyoung. i love you. so much.” daehwi was choking in between his words.
jinyoung closed their distance with a slow yet very meaningful kiss. it might be their last kiss. ever.
daehwi was the one who pulled out first. it was silence for a second, the only thing you can hear are them trying to catch their breathe.
“so, this is it, huh?” jinyoung bitterly uttered in which daehwi nodded in response.
this is it.
they finally broke up.
the thing both of them have been trying to avoid for months, finally came.
daehwi and jinyoung loved each other. that is, no doubt. but when the universe gets in the way, then it’s inevitable, they were both bound to break up.
because sometimes, love isn’t enough to keep a relationship going.
“but hey, daehwi, you know what?” jinyoung sprouted when daehwi was already a meter away.
“yeah?” daehwi looked back.
“fuck the universe, i’ll get back to you someday. i will find you and ask you to be my boyfriend and we’ll start all over again, i will marry you. if it ain’t you then i’d rather choose not to be married.”
daehwi gave him a grin and nodded, “i’ll look forward to that.”