Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Being a single parent was just awesome.

Or, more specifically, being a single parent slash older brother. Because yeah, Dean loved his little brother more than anyone else on the damn planet. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for Sam and no one he would ever put before his brother. But really, when your father accidentally up and impregnates a one-night-stand and then decides to fuck off at the mere prospect of raising his own kid after screwing up with the first one, you’ve kind of got a right to be pissed when you’re stuck raising your baby brother on your own.

So, yeah. That was the situation Dean had found himself in for the past four years. Again, not that he would put anything in front of Sam or ever choose to give the kid up, but surely he deserved to feel resentful at his situation sometimes. He hadn’t been LARPing with Charlie or out for drinks with Benny in…god knows how long. It wasn’t that getting a babysitter was hard, but rather there were no sitters who were good enough for Sam. And yeah, maybe Dean was being a picky asshole, but he wasn’t just gonna leave his brother with anyone. Linda Tran had been the best one he’d found, and he would’ve chosen her if not for her sharp tongue and ‘no bullshit’ attitude, because the last thing he needed was for sensitive Sam to burst into tears as soon as Linda so much as looked at him. You had to actually be reasonable with Sam and talk to him to get him to see how he’d messed up and why he needed to apologise for something, and so many people were just too quick to treat Sam like a baby and snap at him when he refused to listen.

Sam was gonna be a fuckin’ genius when he was older.

Oh, and Dean’s love life had also pretty much shrivelled up like the Sahara, because who the hell wanted to date a twenty-five-year-old with a kid? Most people his age wanted to go out partying or drinking or even having a movie night, not accommodating their date’s kid brother and signing on for co-parenthood. Hell, he’d even tried to be there for Lisa and her own kid last year, but the fact that his brother had been a year off elementary school age while Ben was fourteen had apparently been a deal-breaker. Dean couldn’t really hate her, but the hypocrisy still ate at him some nights when he laid in bed unable to sleep. ‘Didn’t sign up to raise another child’, she’d claimed. But apparently Dean was supposed to be the Good Dad for Ben, never mind his own baby brother.

And now he couldn’t even be a Good Dad for Sam because the little shit was gone. He’d let go of Sam’s hand for two goddamn seconds to grab a box of Lucky Charms to placate the kid, since Dean had refused to buy him some twenty-dollar toy he wanted (because hey, as smart as Sam was, he’d never heard of a budget and bills), and now Sam had vanished into thin fucking air. Oh yeah, Dean was definitely winning that Father of the Year award. Just change his name to John Winchester and be done with it already.

“Sam?” Abandoning his cart, Dean sprinted up to the end of the cereal aisle and looked around wildly, turning on the spot. He was greeted with no one except some giggly older teen couple, who side-eyed him as he pushed past to get to the next aisle. Again, no Sam. Well, fuck. How the hell had he lost his brother in two goddamn seconds?

Standing there in the middle of the aisle, his mind spiralling from ‘what if Sam leaves the store and gets lost’ to ‘what if someone kidnapped him and I never see him again’ because his anxiety-ridden brain was awesome like that, a sudden realisation pierced the haze of panic settling on him. On a complete hunch, he stalked a few aisles over and peered down it and, sure enough, Sam was right next to the toys. Because of course when you tell a child no, they go and do it anyway, just to further fuck with authority figures and prove Just How Independent they are. Standing next to him was a man with messy dark hair, holding the hand of a boy about Sam’s age, and Dean thought at first that they were just looking past Sam at the toys until he drew closer and realised that Sam was actually talking to them.

“…and I really, really want this Spider-Man toy, because I really, really love Spider-Man,” Sam was babbling. “Dean even took me to see the new movie! Home – Home –”

“Homecoming?” the man supplied. His voice was rich and gravelly, and if Dean hadn’t been working himself into a near-anxiety attack over losing Sam, he might have stopped and appreciated it. As it was, the only reason he wasn’t dashing over and punching the man in the face was because Sam seemed to have taken a liking to him, and Sam was notoriously picky when it came to liking people. He liked Charlie well enough – when she could come over – but Benny was still a work in progress.

“Yes!” Sam said. “And it was so cool! They blew things up and Spider-Man fought the bad Vulture and saved the boat and – and Iron Man was so cool and – Dean!” Having caught sight of Dean, Sam bounded over, beaming so widely that he showed off his missing canine tooth. “Dean, this is Mr Cas! He’s Jack’s dad!”

Dean really wanted to share in Sam’s enthusiasm, but Parenting™ demanded that he properly discipline Sam first. “Sam, what did I say about running off on me?” he said. Sam’s smile vanished.

“That I should always tell you where I’m going, and I shouldn’t disappear,” he said, visibly wilting. Dean knelt to be on eye level with Sam, clapping the kid on the shoulder.

“And do you know why?” he said.

“Because you worry about me.”

“Damn right.” Dean ruffled Sam’s hair, earning a squeal as Sam ducked out of reach. “You know I worry about you, kiddo. If you want me to treat you like a big boy, you gotta act like one.”

“I know,” Sam said in that cutesy, defeated five-year-old voice that kids use when they know they’ve lost the battle. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

“Apology accepted.” Dean pushed himself to his feet with a groan. “Now, how about you put that toy back and come back so we can get your Lucky Charms?”

“But Dean –”

“No buts, Sammy. You know we can’t –” His eyes darted to Cas, who was rather tactfully occupying Jack’s attention with some Captain America toy but who was totally listening in, if he was anything like Dean.

“But Dean, Mr Cas offered to get me this toy!”

Dean’s head whipped around so he could stare at Cas, who had now given up the pretence of not listening in to Dean’s attempt at being a Good Parent. “That’s very nice of Mr Cas,” Dean said, a hard edge to his voice that he knew an adult would pick up on where kids wouldn’t. “But you can’t expect strangers to buy you things, Sam. Put the toy back.”

“Dean –”

“Sam, please put the toy back, or you won’t get Lucky Charms.”

“My apologies for interrupting,” Cas said, leaving Jack to look at the toys as he approached. “I did offer to buy Sam that toy, and it wasn’t my intention to overstep any boundaries –”

“Well, we ain’t a charity case,” Dean snapped. “Thanks for the offer, but we don’t need your help. We can do just fine on our own.”

“Dean, please,” Sam begged.

“If you think I offered out of pity, you’re sorely mistaken,” Cas said rather pleasantly for someone who’d just been dragged for being kind. “I offered because I’ve taken a liking to your son.”

“Brother,” Dean said shortly. Cas’ eyes widened slightly as he stared from Dean to Sam, obviously doing the mental math.

“Ah. My apologies for assuming. I found Sam a very bright and intelligent young boy to talk to, especially when he engaged my son Jack in conversation about superheroes. I thought that perhaps if I offered –”

“What, you’re buyin’ my son’s friendship? Like I said, we ain’t a charity case.”

“If you’ll let me finish,” Cas said, now looking slightly ruffled. “I’ve been in your position before. Jack’s mother…died in childbirth, and I was left to raise Jack by myself. I know what it’s like to have to deny your child something because your budget is unaccommodating. Even now that I’m lucky to have a decent wage and my sister living with me to split bills, I still remember my days of forgoing meals in order to ensure that Jack was fed and clothed.”

“Shit,” Dean said, because what else could he say to a confession like that? Maybe he’d been too harsh on the guy – though in his defence, better to be overly defensive than overly lax. “Sam, go play with Jack or something.”

“Okay.” Sam ran over to Jack and immediately engaged the other boy in conversation about the Captain America toy that Jack was holding.

“My apologies.” Cas’ cheeks flushed, and he looked away. “I’ve been told that I’m utterly incapable of regulating what’s considered ‘too much information’. I have no filter in my brain whatsoever.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Dean said. “I get it, man. The number of times I’ve gone days surviving on scraps just to keep Sam happy. Sometimes I wonder if he knows more than he lets on. Kid’s fuckin’ smart as shit.”

“So is Jack.” Cas looked back at Jack with a fond smile. “Part of the reason I took such a liking to Sam is because he’s the first child who Jack’s actually shown interest in. Jack finds it very difficult to socialise with children his age.”

“Bit of an introvert already?” Dean said with a smirk. “Careful. Next thing you know, he’ll be stuck in the corner reading a book a day. Sam’s already reading way above his level.”

“Not quite.” Cas paused, as though choosing his words carefully. “Jack’s autistic. Not only does he find it difficult to interact with children his age, but he also has…special interests, they’re called. While someone like Sam might be very interested in something like superheroes, Jack…takes it to an extreme. And it’s not a bad thing in any way – his enthusiasm is beautiful for me to watch – but even other superhero fans grow tired of talking about nothing but superheroes for hours on end. Sam hasn’t been talking to Jack for quite that long, but I can sense that there’s something…different about your brother.”

“I mean, Sam gets shit all the time ‘cause he’s not too good with other kids either and he’s a huge bookworm,” Dean said while he absorbed this new information. Jack was autistic? Huh, he’d never have guessed. Then again, his only exposure to autism had been those shitty Autism Speaks ads that went on about some huge, invisible monster that tore families apart and made a huge deal about how autistic kids were ‘others’, so he couldn’t really talk. “And I mean, he’s not autistic or anything as far as I know, but he does get what it’s like to be treated like shit for bein’ different. I ain’t surprised he’d take to someone like Jack.”

A wide smile spread across Cas’ face and holy shit, one man did not have the right to be so goddamn gorgeous. Dean wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to hit on someone after such an emotional moment, otherwise he’d already be trying to charm this guy’s number out of him.

“May I have your phone number, Dean?” Cas said suddenly, as though reading his mind. When Dean just blinked, trying to fight off the impending blue screen of death in his brain, Cas let out a nervous little laugh and shook his head. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to – to come on to you or anything. I just thought that even if you weren’t interested in being friends with me, it would be nice if Sam and Jack could be friends. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen Jack this happy to talk to someone else…oh, not that I’m trying to manipulate you or anything –”

“Shut up,” Dean grinned. “Course I’ll be your friend. And it’ll be nice for Sam to have a friend as well. Maybe now he’ll stop harpin’ on about superheroes to me and do it to someone who actually wants to talk about Spider-Man for four hours.”

“Oh, I’m afraid that if Jack has his way, Captain America and Bucky Barnes will be the main topic of conversation,” Cas said, pulling out his phone. “He does like Spider-Man, especially after Homecoming, but the conversation always seems to return to Steve and Bucky.”

“Good thing Sammy’s a huge fan of ‘em too.” Dean took Cas’ phone and punched his number in. “And I’m more of a DC kinda guy, especially Batman, but Iron Man’s my Marvel weak spot.” He eyed Cas for a moment after handing his phone over, deliberating, before coming to the conclusion that from what he knew of Cas so far, the guy probably wouldn’t flip out over something like this. “And if I’m honest, I had the biggest fuckin’ thing for Bucky once I saw that first Cap movie.”

“Bucky? Really?” Cas raised an eyebrow. Before Dean could start going on a mental anxious trip about the guy turning out to be a dick, Cas continued, “I find Loki to be much more to my taste. Tom Hiddleston has a certain…charm about him. My sister Hannah never fails to make ‘horny’ jokes because of Loki’s helmet and my love for Loki.”

“Guess we’re both into the dark, tortured type,” Dean said, shoulders sagging in relief. “I dunno, man. Bucky had the shit tortured outta him for seventy years. And he’s so fuckin’ gay for Cap.”

Cas snorted loudly into his hand. “I have to agree with you there. And I’m so sorry but, as much as I’m enjoying talking to you, I have to go. I promised Hannah this would only be a quick run to buy some milk –”

“Nah, you’re cool,” Dean said. “I gotta get back to our shopping before someone pinches it or they think I abandoned it. I’ll text later so we can sort something out for Sam and Jack, yeah?”

“I’d much appreciate that,” Cas said with a smile. “I’m also autistic and I find the thought of starting non-professional conversations so daunting that I’m also rather lacking in friends. Once you start the conversation, I’ll feel comfortable enough talking to you because I’ll know that you want to talk to me.”

“Is that every conversation or just the first one?” Dean said.

“Most of the time, it’s the first few ones,” Cas said. “It just makes it rather difficult for me to walk up to someone and introduce myself and start things that way. I end up waiting for people to come to me but…well, not many seem to want to.”

“Can’t imagine why,” Dean said. “You seem cool to me. So I’ll text you about Sam and Jack first, right?”

Castiel smiled widely. “Yes, that would be helpful. Otherwise, I’ll spend an hour looking at my phone and panicking because I don’t know what to say. Jack!” Cas looked over his shoulder at Jack, who was bouncing on his feet and flapping his hands as he told Sam some story that Dean couldn’t quite make out. “We have to go now.”

“But Daddy!” Jack’s blue eyes, identical to Cas’, crinkled in the same puppy dog shape as Sam’s. If Sam had taught another kid the Trick of the Puppy Dog Eyes, Dean was going to have Serious Words with him. “Want to keep talking to Sam!”

“You know we don’t have the time, Jack.” Cas approached Jack and did Dean’s trick of kneeling so that he was level with the kid instead of looming over him. And that was one point in Cas’ favour. ‘I know better than you because I’m an adult’ parents never failed to piss Dean off, because most kids were super intelligent if you knew how to talk to them. Case in point, Sam. “But Mr Dean promised to let you see Sam again if you’re a good boy and say goodbye to Sam nicely.”

“Really?” Sam’s face lit up and he bounded over to Dean, hazel eyes shining.

“When?” Jack stuck his bottom lip out.

“I’m not sure yet,” Cas said. “But Mr Dean and I will talk and agree on a time.”

Jack considered this for a few moments. “Okay,” he finally said. Cas smiled.

“Good boy. How about you say goodbye to Sam?”

“Goodbye, Sam,” Jack mumbled, though he was still looking at his dad instead of at Sam.

“Bye, Jack!” Sam waved with the hand still holding the Spider-Man toy, and he blinked and stared at it as though seeing it for the first time. The last thing Dean needed was a repeat of last time Sam had forgotten he was holding a toy when they left the store; hell, he was pretty sure the manager was still convinced he’d hijacked an innocent kid into a life of thievery and crime, if the stink-eyes he got every time he went into that particular store were any indication.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” With a nervous little chuckle, Cas pulled out his wallet and extracted a twenty. “I don’t want you to think I’m trying to bribe you into anything, so you’re welcome to reject it –”

One look at Sam’s pleading face and Dean was powerless to say no. And really, it had been so long since Sam had had a new toy. The kid deserved it. “Just this once,” he said, accepting the twenty from the Cas. “I ain’t a charity case.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to imply –!”

“Relax,” Dean grinned. “I’m kidding.”

“Oh. My apologies. I can’t always tell when someone is joking. My brain tends to interpret things very literally unless I have a very clear indication otherwise.”

“Ah. Sorry, then. Didn’t mean to –”

“Don’t worry about it. Come on, Jack, we should go and get our milk.”

“Daddy, can I get this Captain America toy?” Jack said as Dean walked off with Sam, who skipped with each step while staring down at his new toy with shining eyes.

“When can I see Jack again?” Sam demanded as soon as they were back at their cart, which was thankfully untouched. “Can it be tomorrow? Please, Dean, please? I promise I’ve done all my homework exercises!”

“Settle down, kiddo,” Dean said. “‘S not up to me. We gotta wait and see what Mr Cas says.”

“If he says yes, then can I? Please? Please?”

“If you pipe down and stop nearly knocking all this cereal off the shelves, then yeah.”

“YES!”

Chapter Text

Dean didn’t get a chance to text Cas at all for the rest of the afternoon, since he had to rope an overenthusiastic Sam into putting his new toy down for five damn minutes to help carry the groceries in. Sam was usually so keen to help that Dean had to make sure to pack certain bags lightly for Sam to carry but give a kid a toy and suddenly helping you out around the house is way too much to expect. Hell, Dean had to put all the groceries away himself, rather than Sam bouncing around his feet and demanding to ‘help’, which usually resulted in spending more time fixing Sam’s packing than actually putting things away properly in the first place.

It wasn’t until that night, after Sam had put his toy down for two minutes to help Dean clean up after their dinner of homemade mac and cheese, that Dean could finally slump on the worn green couch and think about what was appropriate to text someone he’d bumped into in a grocery store, especially someone who’d bought his brother a toy out of seemingly nothing but kindness. Speaking of, Sam currently had his meagre stash of toys spread out on the floor in the tiny space that apparently qualified for an apartment living room, and he was ‘introducing’ his new Spider-Man to his other toys. If it wasn’t a Saturday night then he’d be in bed, but Dean couldn’t see any harm in letting him stay up slightly later on a weekend night.

“Oh, no! The building’s falling!” Sam cried. His worn Barbie doll – found in a second-hand store, and Dean couldn’t say no to Sam’s puppy dog eyes, even if Barbies were girly as fuck – was being held in the air, as though at the top of a tall building. “Spider-Man, you have to save Barbie! Boom!”

As if on cue, something exploded on the movie that was on TV. It was completely indistinguishable from every action movie ever, but it was background noise and so at least it was serving some kind of purpose, because Dean couldn’t imagine doing this in silence. It wasn’t that Cas was intimidating. No, far from it. More like the guy was so awkwardly adorable that Dean was caught way out from what he knew. Shit, he was infatuated already, but he couldn’t do anything to mess this up because Sam had finally made a friend and Dean wasn’t going to fuck that up by coming on too strong to Jack’s dad and being a dick. The last thing he needed was to hit on Cas, make it awkward, then have to explain to Sam why he couldn’t see his new best friend anymore. Sam would quite literally hate him forever.

Alright. Objective: make friends with Cas. Never let it be said that Dean didn’t know how to use his brain. And speaking of said brain, it was on such a convoluted train of thought that Dean had pulled out his phone and sent a hello text to Cas before he was even aware of what he was doing. Why the heck was he being such a teenage girl about this? Before he could work himself into a state, his phone pinged with a reply.

Hello, Dean

Dean couldn’t help the small snicker that escaped him because, from what he knew of Cas after their short meeting, the formal way of texting was just so…Cas.

whats goin on?

I just read Jack to sleep

I have a feeling that Harry Potter will quickly become a special interest of his, since he loves it when I read the first book to him

sammy loves hp

already reckons hes a ravenclaw

smart little shit

I fancy myself very Hufflepuff. Jack wants to be a Gryffindor like the heroes, but I don’t think that’s his true nature

idk what id be

so u wanna meet up tomorrow?

I feel that if I said no then Jack would refuse to talk to me for a long time

So yes, I would love to

Not just for Jack’s sake but also to get to know you better. Where would you like to meet?

In the middle of getting the warm and fuzzies about Cas wanting to be friends, an icy chill settled in Dean’s stomach. He snuck a peek at Sam, who was curled up with his toys and hugging his new one to his chest as he half-snoozed, and he bit his lip at the realisation of just how tiny their home was. A cramped living room, a kitchen with a leaky tap and two stove elements that didn’t even work, a bathroom where you were lucky to fit two people, and two surprisingly decent-sized bedrooms. Of course Dean took the smaller room, with just enough room for a queen bed and a bedside table, and gave Sam the slightly bigger one. No way was Sam going without if Dean could help it.

Okay, so the place wasn’t that bad, even if they had to share a laundry with everyone else in the complex. The point was, it wasn’t exactly an apartment to bring guests to if you could help it. Especially since Cas had mentioned having a decent income, which probably meant a house that at least resembled a house. And yeah, Cas most likely wasn’t a snob…but still.

would ur house b better?

Truthfully, I was hoping you would say that. It would be far better for Jack to be in a familiar and comfortable environment until he knows Sam better

what time?

Around twelve or so? I don’t mind making lunch for you and Sam too

right

c u then

***

“Come on, Dean!” A hyperactive Sam bounced all around Dean, who was trying to get out of the damn car but was being obstructed by said hyperactive brother. “Come on! It’s eleven fifty-nine!”

Had the kid snuck a butt-load of sugar when Dean wasn’t looking? Lucky Charms couldn’t be that sugary.

“Chill out, you weirdo,” Dean grumbled, locking the Impala and grabbing Sam’s hand firmly to lead him up the path to Cas’ house. The house was small and fairly modest – not overly expensive-looking – but it was a house. Man, Dean had dodged a bullet by having their first meeting at Cas’ house.

When Dean knocked on the door, the sound of a small crash immediately reached his ears. Before he could begin to wonder what the hell was going on, the door was swung open by a woman with long dark hair, which hung around her face in a frazzled mess, and the same bright blue eyes as Cas. But despite having the same colour, her eyes were just…different to Cas’.

“Hello,” the woman said breathlessly. “Dean, right? And you must be Sam?” She gave Sam a strained smile. “I’m Hannah Novak, Cas’ sister.”

“You look like shit,” Dean said. Hannah gave a strained little laugh and stepped aside to let them in.

“Jack,” she said, turning the corner into the modest living room. She gestured at the couch and Dean sat down, patting the seat next to him for Sam to follow suit. “I’ve never seen him this excited. And trust me, autistic kids aren’t the best at regulating their emotions. Cas was exactly the same when we were kids.”

“So that crash –”

“Jack was hanging around in the kitchen with Cas. As soon as he realised that you were here, he knocked a stool over and started running around shrieking until I put him in his room and asked him to try and calm down for Sam.”

“You don’t gotta force him to suppress his emotions,” Dean said, ruffling Sam’s hair. Sam cried out and ducked away. “Sam can take the hyper. Hell, I reckon Sammy got into the sugar before we got here.”

Hannah laughed and tucked a lock of dark hair behind her ear. “Trust me, it’s not about not scaring Sam. It’s more like I don’t think I could handle two hyperactive children screaming and not regulating emotions.”

“That’s fair,” Dean said.

“Although to be fair, I don’t think it’s necessarily hyperactivity,” Hannah added. “The only time Jack gets this hyper is when he’s excited and his emotions are overwhelming. I think it’s a way for him to regulate those emotions, by letting them explode out.”

Over Hannah’s shoulder, Dean caught sight of Cas appearing in the doorway between the living room and kitchen, and his stomach suddenly twisted into a tight knot. Jesus, Cas had no damn right to look that good, especially clad in the same beige trench coat he’d been wearing at the supermarket. Upon catching sight of Dean and Sam, a small smile spread across Cas’ face.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas said. “Hello, Sam. Jack’s currently changing his shirt, so he’ll be out in a minute.”

“What did he spill this time?” Hannah sighed, though the smile that made her lips twitch had a very fond feel.

“One of the glasses of juice I had prepared for lunch when he ran right back to the kitchen to yell at me that Sam was here, despite the fact that you put him in his room to help him calm down. He’s lucky he didn’t need a shower because I don’t think his patience could have lasted that long.”

As if on cue, Jack appeared from the hallway that clearly led from the living room to the bedrooms. When he realised that his visitors had arrived, his face positively lit up.

“Sam! Sam’s here!” Jack sprinted over to the couch and grabbed Sam’s wrist, trying to pull him off. “Hi, Sam! You’re here and I feel so happy and now we can play with our toys and talk about –”

“Jack,” Cas said sternly. “What did we say about touching others without asking?”

Jack drooped, and he let go of Sam. “That I shouldn’t do it.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I don’t like it when people touch me without asking. It feels wrong and bad. So I shouldn’t do it to others.”

Cas smiled and crossed over to run a hand through Jack’s pale brown hair. “Good boy. You’re very smart, Jack. You just often act without thinking.”

“Sounds like someone I know,” Hannah teased. Cas just stared at her until she sighed and rolled her eyes. “Okay, I know when I’m not wanted. I’ve got a long shift today, so I’ll leave you to it.”

“Of course you’re wanted,” Cas frowned as Hannah grabbed the black coat hanging on the back of her armchair and shrugged it on over her red uniform shirt. “We always want you with us, Hannah.”

“Literalisms, Cas,” Hannah said with a smile and a long-suffering sigh. “I’m joking with you. I’ll be back at ten tonight.”

“You don’t start work for another hour,” Cas said.

“I’ll go hang out with Dan and Adina until then. And I’ll get to use their bathroom to do my hair and make-up for work.” Hannah weaved around the furniture to kiss Cas on the cheek, then snatched up her keys and handbag from the end table near the front door and left.

“Come see my room, Sam!” Jack reached out to grab Sam, but he remembered and withdrew his hand in time and settled for bouncing on the spot. “I have so many toys!”

“I brought my Spider-Man!” Sam held out his toy and Jack’s eyes lit up. “Thank you, Mr Cas!”

“You’re very welcome, Sam,” Cas said, while Dean beamed proudly. Damn, his brother was fucking awesome. “It makes me very happy to see that you enjoy it. Jack, I want you and Sam to bring your toys out here and play.”

“Why, Daddy?” Jack whined. “Wanna show Sam my room!”

“Because Mr Dean and I want to keep an eye on you and Sam. You can show Sam your room, but please come and play out here. Also, lunch will be ready in a few minutes, and you know you’re not allowed to eat in your room.”

Though Jack’s face twisted into a strong pout, he eventually gave in and led Sam to the hallway. Cas took Sam’s vacated spot on the couch, smiling at Dean.

“Thank you for this,” he said. “It makes me feel warm and good to see Jack like this.”

“Warm and good?” Dean raised an eyebrow, grinning. Cas’ smile faded, and he sighed and looked away.

“My apologies if I sound…juvenile. I sometimes struggle to properly realise and describe complex emotions, so I find that it helps to verbalise the physical sensations.”

“Oh, shit – no, I was just joking,” Dean babbled awkwardly. “Word of advice, Cas. I’m never serious when I tease. Trust me, I’m pretty sure you’ll know if I’m actually being nasty.”

“Thank you. That makes me feel a lot better.” Cas sighed again, his shoulders slumping. “I was…bullied a fair amount in school. I wasn’t diagnosed until a few years after I graduated high school, so I had no idea that I was autistic. I thought that I was just the weird freak who didn’t fit in with other humans. So…I tend to be rather sensitive to perceived mocking. I should have told you before.”

“Jesus Christ.” Dean reached out to clasp Cas on the shoulder before remembering Cas’ discipline of Jack and retracting his hand. “Uh, can I touch ya?”

“Of course.”

With that consent, Dean clapped Cas on the shoulder. “Well, if ya ever don’t want me to do anything, just tell me. I’m kinda new to this outside of those Autism Speaks ads –”

Cas snorted rather darkly. “Don’t even mention that – that hate group around me. How could they want to eradicate autism? Yes, I struggled a lot due to it, and so does Jack, but I look at Jack and it fills me with immense joy to see him so invested in his special interests, or even just how…unlike other children he is. He’s different and special and I love him with all my heart. And I – I wouldn’t be the person I am without it. I couldn’t possibly imagine living with an allistic brain.”

“Allistic?”

“Oh. Non-autistic.”

They lapsed into silence as Sam and Jack waddled out with armfuls of toys, just sitting there and enjoying each other’s company.

“I should make Jack eat lunch first,” Cas said, watching Jack use his Iron Man toy to battle the Hulk one he lent Sam. “He gets rather antsy if his routine is thrown off too much. But…”

“I reckon he’ll be grumpier if you make him stop playing,” Dean said. Cas chuckled.

“Yes, that’s what I’m thinking too. Would you like anything to eat in the meantime? I’ve made sandwiches and I have orange juice for Jack and Sam, but if you’d prefer a beer then Hannah has some in the fridge.”

“You don’t drink?” Dean said, following Cas into the kitchen. The kitchen wasn’t too big, but it was definitely bigger than the one back at the apartment, and it actually looked semi-new. A large plate of sandwiches cut in triangles sat on the white bench, along with three glasses of orange juice.

“I don’t like the taste of anything. Beer is disgusting, wine is even more abhorrent, and I don’t want to try the stronger drinks because I have a feeling that I would be a ‘lightweight’, as you drinkers say.”

Dean snickered and accepted the beer from Cas, cracking it open and taking a long swig. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Cas’ eyes fixed directly on his mouth, and he resisted the urge to smirk and crack a dirty joke. The last thing he needed was to pull a Dean Winchester and scare yet another person off, especially since Cas had just confessed that he often struggled to grasp teasing.

“You know what?” Cas bent down and opened a cupboard to pull out a plate, then transferred most of the sandwiches to it. “I never usually let Jack eat in the living room. Usually, I make him eat up here at the bench. But I think I can make an exception and let him and Sam eat as they play.”

“Here, I’ll grab the juice.” Dean put his beer down to grab two glasses of juice, earning a smile from Cas.

“Thank you, Dean. I’m afraid my hand-eye coordination is…rather appalling. I lack a lot of spatial awareness in terms of where my body is in relation to the world, so I find myself crashing into things a lot.”

Dean laughed loudly at that, following Cas out into the living room to set the juices down on the coffee table with the sandwiches. Jack’s eyes lit up at the sight of the food and drink, and he snatched up a sandwich and thanked his father profusely through a mouthful of bread and strawberry jam.

“Sam, what do you say for lunch?” Dean said. Thankfully, Sam had better manners and remembered to swallow his bite of PB&J before thanking Cas for the sandwiches and juice.

“If it means anything to you,” Dean said when he and Cas returned to the kitchen to collect their sandwiches and drinks, “I like your brain just the way it is. You’re way different to other people I know, in the best way possible.”

When Cas’ face flushed a dark red and he busied himself with a ham and cheese sandwich, Dean hurriedly took a large gulp of beer. Shit – quit being sappy with the guy – abort – abort –

“I – that means a lot to me,” Cas finally said, then drained half his glass of juice in one go. “Was that a flirtation, Dean?”

“W-What?” Mild nausea simmered in Dean’s gut. He grabbed a sandwich and shoved half of it in his mouth, then did the bravest thing in the world and bolted out of the kitchen to avoid having that conversation. He sagged on the couch, watching Sam and Jack play out a whole ‘Monster of the Week’ fantasy scenario in an imaginary city, and he stiffened when he felt Cas sit down next to him. Welp, score one for Dean Winchester and his ability to fuck everything up within two goddamn minutes –

“Dean, running away won’t solve anything,” Cas said. Was that a hint of amusement in his voice? Or was that sympathy? “Trust me, I used to hide from the slightest inconvenience. I still do, despite knowing that it’s futile.”

“‘M sorry,” Dean said a little hoarsely. “I’ve probably fucked it all up –”

“I only asked because I’m simply abysmal at detecting when someone is flirting with me or simply being friendly,” Cas said. “And I prefer to know –”

Dean swallowed heavily. “Look, I ain’t gonna ruin this just ‘cause of – of a crush. I really wanna be friends, and I don’t wanna screw Jack over by hitting on his dad –”

“Dean, you’re being ridiculous,” Cas deadpanned. “I’m finding myself attracted to you as well. I just wanted to make sure that you reciprocated so that I didn’t make a fool of myself like I did in tenth grade.”

“Why? What happened in tenth grade?”

“Boom!” Sam cried in the background. Jack half-bellowed heroic music as he wielded Captain America like the world’s bluest weapon. Cas watched his son with a fond little smile and shit, the way his blue eyes crinkled and the corner of his mouth turned up ever so slightly had Dean trapped under his spell in a heartbeat.

“I was crushing very hard on an absolutely beautiful girl in my English class,” Cas said. “Meg Masters, her name was. I was so scared to ask her out but I…eventually forced myself to blurt out the question while doing partner exercises with her. Of course, she rejected me. Thankfully, I made it home before I broke down in tears, because I really didn’t need to add to my reputation as a freak.”

“Hey, you’re not a freak,” Dean said rather chidingly, as though he was talking to his baby brother and not a grown adult. Part of him wanted to slap this Meg Masters around the head and make her see just what she was missing out on, because Cas was quite literally one of the cutest, most awkwardly adorable people he’d ever met. “And…yeah, it was kind of a ‘holy shit he’s gorgeous’ thing in the supermarket. Then you did that whole empathy thing and got Sam that toy, and I saw how happy it made him, and…yeah. Okay. I’m kinda – but we don’t have to –”

“Shut up, Dean.” Cas leaned in and brushed his lips against Dean’s in one of the softest, briefest kisses Dean had ever experienced.

And there it was, he was hooked.

“Uhh,” Dean said rather intelligently while his brain furiously worked to reboot itself. If that was from the bare hint of a kiss, he dreaded imagining what an actual kiss would do to him.

“Eww!” Jack cried in the background. “Yuck!”

“Dean, stop kissing people in front of me!” Sam added. Both children were ignored.

“I literally just told you that I’m attracted to you,” Cas said with what felt like slight exasperation. Then again, Cas was a different emotional book to others altogether, and the way he was both laid open for the world to read while also not revealing his true depths was an alluring siren song to Dean. He wanted to dive in, to read every page and know Cas by heart – and okay, that was enough creepy shit about the guy he’d only known for a day.

“You may have mentioned that.”

Cas snorted and looked down. “I’d just like to do this the right way.”

“What, you gonna draw up a date plan? Specific activities, goals by the end, third date expectations –”

“Actually, that sounds rather appealing,” Cas said thoughtfully. Dean was fairly certain that he failed to disguise his look of horror at the thought, but thankfully Cas didn’t pick up on it. “Look, Dean, it’s not just my ‘prudish nature’ that demands that I engage in proper courtship –”

“Oh, god, he called it courtship,” Dean mumbled.

“– and build our emotional intimacy before we become proper partners and eventually engage in physical intimacy.” Cas looked up at Dean. “Yes, I do prefer a build-up to something more casual, but it’s not just me I’m thinking of. I also have to consider Jack. I can’t allow myself to become attached to someone – because when I form a bond with someone, that bond is deep, and I fall very hard and fast – and introduce them to Jack’s life, then have them walk out and shatter both him and me like that. No one comes before my son.”

“Hey, that’s exactly how I feel about Sammy,” Dean said. He reached out and clapped Cas on the shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. “That’s why I’m tryin’ to hold off on this. I don’t wanna go bringin’ someone new into Sammy’s life, then dealing with his devastation if it goes sideways. That kid…well, he’s never really had proper parents. Just me, his older brother. And I didn’t exactly have a dad to be proud of either. So…I get it. I really do.”

The way Cas stared at him with a tilted head, blue eyes narrowed in a squint, might have been unnerving if it wasn’t so suited to his adorable awkwardness. When the other man eventually smiled, it felt like Dean had swallowed the sun and it was currently rising inside him.

“That’s approximately forty percent of why I’m attracted to you,” Cas said. “You understand my bond with Jack. It’s extremely difficult to find somebody who’s willing to accommodate him, and it’s even harder to find someone also willing to learn how to work with his autism, not against it, and who doesn’t treat him like a freak for not being ‘normal’.” Goddamn, those literal air quotes were adorable. “And yet…you’re both, and so is your brother, in a totally different way. It feels almost too good to be true.”

Dean smiled, his insides melting into goo and trickling out through his butt. Okay, he really needed to lay off the shitty metaphors, because there was a reason he sucked at English in high school. “I kinda feel the same way about you,” he said. “You get what it’s like to struggle, but you don’t…you don’t pity anyone for it. You get how it feels. How ‘bout we take it slow, yeah? Meet up, let Sam and Jack bond, see how it goes between us. Besides –” he winked at Cas, “– I doubt we could have proper dates with these two shits to look after, and it wouldn’t be fair to keep dumping ‘em on Hannah. Guess we’ll have to have double dates with the kids. Except, y’know, theirs are play-dates.”

“How unconventional,” Cas said, his smile widening ever so slightly. “I like the sound of that.”

“Daddy!” Jack cut through the atmosphere between Dean and Cas. “Come play with us!”

“Yeah, Dean!” Sam added. “I’ll even let you be Spider-Man!”

Dean grinned at Cas, who shrugged back and leaned over to peck him on the lips. Just like the previous kiss, it was barely a kiss – hell, Dean wasn’t counting either of these as their first kiss – but it was enough to make Sam gag and Jack wrinkle his nose.

“Alright,” Dean said. “You win. We’ll play with you.”

Dean had only planned on staying for a short while. After all, it was only their first visit, and he didn’t want to overstay his welcome. But by the time Cas noticed that the sun was setting, Dean was blinking and wondering how the hell time had flown so fast from just playing pretend with two kids and their dolls, especially since things had been ever so slightly quieter since Jack had gone totally silent a few minutes ago.

“We should go,” Dean said. Sam immediately began to protest, but he fell silent with just a look. “You already made us lunch, and Sam’s got school tomorrow, just like I’m sure Jack does.”

“Do you go to Sioux Falls Elementary as well?” Sam immediately asked Jack, who nodded silently. “I’ll find you tomorrow and we can play again! And we can be best friends and –”

“Sam,” Cas said gently. “Jack’s feeling a little overwhelmed right now, so he won’t talk. It’s what he does when he’s tired, so that his brain can cope and rest, and you two have had a very energetic afternoon.”

“Oh.” Sam deflated for the barest of moments. “Okay, I can go and let him rest. I’ll see him tomorrow!”

“Yeah, come on, squirt.” Dean pushed himself to his feet, groaning as his joints cracked. “Thanks for this, Cas. It means a heck of a lot to Sam.”

“It means just as much to Jack, believe me,” Cas said. “And…also to me. Thank you for agreeing to this.”

Dean couldn’t be sure if Cas was silently referring to the whole dating thing as well, so he kept silent on that and just let it be. Cas walked them to the door, then wrapped his arms around Dean and hugged him tightly, and it wasn’t a kiss but hey, Dean would take what he could get.

Besides, Cas gave the best damn hugs, so he wasn’t really missing out.

Before he could leave, Dean felt someone tugging on the hem of his shirt. He looked down to see Jack staring up at him with wide blue eyes, and the kid opened his mouth, then closed it and shook his head.

“What is it, Jack?” Dean said. Jack reached up to touch his own mouth, still staring unwaveringly at Dean.

“He’s saying thank you,” Cas said. “That’s how he says thank you when he’s non-verbal.”

“Oh, right.” Dean grinned down at Jack. “You’re welcome, buddy. And thank you for bein’ Sam’s friend.”

Jack beamed toothily, then turned and bolted back inside. Cas watched him go with a smile.

“Thank you for today, Dean,” Cas said. “I very much enjoyed it.”

“Same here,” Dean said. “I’ll text you, yeah?”

Cas nodded, then closed the door with one more smile. Dean sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wondering whether he was exhausted or infatuated. Probably both. To be fair, no one had ever claimed that life was easy.

“C’mon, Sammy,” he said, taking Sam’s hand. “Let’s order pizza for dinner, yeah?”

“Yeah!” Sam bounced on the spot. “Come on, Dean! Pizza, pizza, pizza!”

Okay, so this would probably break them for the week and Dean would have to live on his emergency stash of canned food in the cupboard to make sure Sam ate actual food. But hey, what was life without a bit of fun? Now he just had to hope that he got to see Cas and Jack again soon because honestly, they’d already started to carve out a tiny little niche in his heart. But he wouldn’t allow himself to entertain the notion of the four of them being a – a family. Nope, it was far too soon to be fantasising about that.

Christ, Dean was so screwed.