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English
Series:
Part 1 of adventures of the showroom dumbasses
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Published:
2018-09-13
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908
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1/1
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They are Showroom Dummies

Summary:

i have no idea how to write so this looks like shit sry
the dummies come to life cause idk
an into to a collection of mini stories about various mishaps they encounter but oops i'm lazy so that's gonna take forever

(thanks to my bud fearfulharmony on tumblr for the idea)

UPDATE 11/8/20 this will never be added onto or revised/fixed up because frankly i don't care enough about kraftwerk to write fanfics about it anymore however i'll keep it up as is since it ain't harming anyone
also... intro* jesus christ

Work Text:

It was two AM, at the designer studio hired by Kraftwerk to create the mannequins. The lead designer walked into the room, holding the final mannequin head, in Wolfgang's likeness. The director sat in his chair, legs crossed, holding a half empty cup of coffee. He grumpily began to twitch his top foot and glared at the designer, lowering his head. "Well? What took so long?”

“It took so long because I didn't like having to stare at his dumb lookin’ face..." The designer nonchalantly said, flicking off some dust from production off of the head's eyes and nose. The director chuckled slightly and looked away. "Fair enough. The band wants these by tomorrow morning, so let's get on with it and get them assembled." He slowly got up, yawning. They made their way to the assembly room to find it was blank. Three lazy, sleepy workers sat in their chairs, and boxes of plastic-rubber arms, legs, and torsos still sat mixed up in their boxes.
"Don't tell me you guys didn't even assemble their bodies yet!!" He boomed. A sleeping, snoring designer immediately jolted and snorted awake. "Dammit! I fell asleep waiting for the final head!"
"Wait! Who's body is who's?" another shouted, getting worked up.
"This wouldn't have happened had you idiots just been more productive!! There was no reason to have to wait for all of the heads?!"
They all began to pettily bicker, the sleepy one too tired to participate. The sleepy one hazily looked at the box of disassembled mannequin arms.
He blinked and rubbed his eyes.
Did that one's finger twitch?
No.. I'm just hallucinating because I'm tired.

Three AM now, after much petty bickering, the mannequins’ bodies were finally assembled, all neatly lined up left to right, Ralf, Florian, Karl, and Wolfgang. One of the workers delicately placed the head in Ralf's likeness onto the headless torso. He positioned Ralf's hand onto his hip, and stepped back and looked the mannequin over before getting interrupted.
"Hey, this one's nose is weird. And so is his forehead." The sleepy one muttered, poking at one of the mannequins’ noises. The worker rolled his eyes. "That's Florian... He's just like that."
"Huh..."
"Hey, Karl's head wasn't at that angle before. I didn't place it there like that." another butted in, adjusting the head ever so slightly.
"You're tired. You must've messed it up. Where did you guys put their clothes? You need to get them dressed." The director said.
"Um... Shoot."
"You had one job."
The designer darted into the storage room to look for their clothes. After about a minute of noisy clanking and rummaging in the room, she walked out holding a giant ball of their signature red shirt and black slack attire in one hand, and their black neckties in the other. After dressing the four of them, she prestigiously put on and neatly tied their neckties. "There. They're all done now... Now when can we go home?"
"Did that one blink?!" the sleepy one suddenly exclaimed.
"Don't be ridiculous. You all just need sleep. We'll ship them off tomorrow."
The workers walked out of the room and into the hallway, on their way to the door of the building. The director stayed after them to shut off the lights in the building, then left himself, leaving the dummies alone. The building was dead silent after he shut the main entrance door.

About an hour had passed, nothing but an eerie silence. The assembly room was dark, the only light was from a large window, one that walking passersby could see in through. The dummies didn't move, until Wolfgang, at the far right of the line, blinked. His head slowly and stiffly turned, ever so slightly to the left, looking at the other three. He did nothing else, more eerie silence followed.
Karl's entire body wobbled ever so slightly, as if he was trying to move as well. His calf twitched, then his entire leg. Ralf and Florian stayed still, they did nothing but turn their stiff heads and watch the other two twitch about, trying to "free" themselves. Wolfgang managed to move his torso forward, his back bent slightly and awkwardly. Karl proceeded to twitch his head and limbs a bit more vigorously now, seemingly jealous of Wolfgang. But Wolfgang was actually stuck again, in that awkward position.

A few minutes of awkward twitching passed, but slowly and gradually, they started to move... The four of them looked around the room, being able to freely, albeit slightly clunkily move their heads.


Karl, still a bit stiff, made his way to the door, but it was locked from the outside. He looked back at the other three, the three then looking at each other. Florian looked around, and he pointed to the window. The four of them slowly walked to the window. They all stood there frozen, not moving, staring out the window for an awkward amount of time.

-CRASH!!!-

In a matter of milliseconds, Ralf swiftly swung his arm up, and dropped it onto the window with considerable force, instantly shattering the glass. None of them flinched, and Ralf's hand didn't move as the glass shattered. Wolfgang only turned his head, looking behind him.

They calmly stepped out, onto the sidewalk of the city as if nothing had happened, slowly, and casually yet awkwardly, walking single file down the sidewalk in the dark of the night...

They are showroom dummies...!

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