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“If you can’t commit, just walk out that door right now.”
Standing in the middle of your living room in front of Peter, who was sitting on your couch, you sternly pointed a finger towards your apartment door.
Peter stared at you in disbelief from the words trickling out of your mouth. Although his elbows comfortably rested on his thighs, his body tensed with agape lips.
It’s been about eight months for the two of you and he thought things were going well. He had committed everything he had, all for you.
Or all he could, anyway. Truth be told, it was difficult to upkeep a relationship when his alter-ego was saving New York whenever he had the chance. Peter knew he wasn’t there all the time, but you always seemed to accept it, or so he believed.
Could Peter truly commit himself entirely to you, even if he couldn’t be there all the time for you? Maybe it was truly impossible to commit to you.
Maybe Peter really didn’t deserve you.
Maybe he really should walk out.
All the maybes echoed endlessly in his mind, but Peter wasn’t going to give this up without a fight. He loved you too much to simply let you go.
“You don’t understand—I need you.” The brown-haired boy stood up from the couch and stepped towards you, maintaining eye contact, now only being about an arm’s length away. He anxiously grabbed your hands and placed it against his beating chest.
“I need you in my life. I need—” You felt Peter’s heart thumping for you with every beat. All for you. Every. Single. Beat. Peter broke the eye contact, looking away dishearteningly down at the floor. He exhaled and you noticed his body shaking.
“I need you to not give up on me.”
His eyes still didn’t meet yours. However, you knew he was on the verge of tears and it pained you to see your love like this, but this ultimatum was necessary.
“Peter,” you let go one of your hands out of his grasp and caressed his cheek, tenderly rubbing your thumb against his face. Your love still kept his gaze towards the ground. Soon after, something slightly wet slid against your hand on his face. An ache in your chest began to grow and tightened from within.
“I’m not giving up on you. It’s just…” Another tear slid between your hand and his face. You gulped, trying to make sure your dry throat could continue.
“It’s just hard to be in this relationship when it feels like you’re the only one putting in any effort.”
You noticed Peter’s eyebrows crinkling more and more while his face drooped further into your palm. Both of you knew this was the truth and it hurt to be in this situation.
For Peter, he enjoyed all the little texts and banter every other day or so. For you, it was becoming dreadful because you could never see him, and when you did, it would only be for a few hours at most. For Peter, you were his light when things became dark, even if you couldn’t be physically there with him. For you, Peter made your stomach do backflips, but him putting off dates and meet-ups pushed yourself further and further away from him.
“Look, I understand you’re busy. You have school, the Stark Internship, May… I get it, Peter. I really do. It’s not like I’m not busy as well. But how come…” You sighed in frustration as you looked towards the ground, mirroring Peter’s body language, except your eyes focused on him seconds later.
“How come it feels like you never make any time for me? Am I not important to you?”
Your bitter questions flowed and more tears fell from Peter. You hesitatingly let go of his face and his hands, stepping back and away from him.
Peter didn’t want to endanger you and get you tangled up in his world. He never told you his secret to keep you safe and thought he was doing the right thing, but perhaps it was only causing more harm than good. In that moment, Peter wanted to get on his knees and confess to you that you were important—so much that he’d give up anything for you.
Instead, Peter bit his inner cheek while he stood there foolishly in your living room, crying softly to himself.
The knife in your heart twisted more and more as you watched the sight unfold in front of you.
“I love you, Peter,” you whispered with your eyes tightly shut. You’ve said it only a few times to each other and you meant it every time. This time was no different.
“But if you’re unable to commit to this relationship and can’t put even a little more effort to see me more often, then I won’t stay. I can’t.”
You shook your head along with your words. You opened your eyes to see Peter standing there, trembling silently, except for his faint sobbing. You took his silence as incapability to commit to you and to promise more one-on-one time.
“Fine, if you won’t go, then I will. You can show yourself out.” You gave one quick glance at Peter, waiting for a response, but as expected, he didn’t say a word, so you grabbed your keys and phone from the living room table and walked towards your apartment door until you heard him speak up again.
“Please save me…”
His words were as quiet as a mouse, but you heard it crystal clear. You slowly turned around and faced him once again.
“What did you say?” Your voice came out just as quiet as his.
Peter spoke with his eyes glued to the floor still, unable to stare you in the eyes.
“I’m sick and tired of saving everyone, for being there for everyone, for doing everything, when no one is there for me.”
That was partially a lie, since he had May, Ned, and Mr. Stark, but you were on another level for Peter. Something between the two of you clicked, as if the stars aligned and destiny paved a path for the two of you. It was an indescribable feeling for him, but he felt it deep within his bones and knew you felt something too. You wouldn’t stay in the relationship this long if you didn’t.
“I’m sick of it and if I lose you, then I don’t know what to do with myself.”
Peter dragged his feet towards you and collapsed onto you, crying into your shoulder. You couldn’t help yourself but hug him tightly while petting his hair gently.
“No matter what happens to us, I’ll always be there for you.” You whispered into his ear before you carefully pushed him away with your hands on his shoulders. “I hope you know that, Peter.”
After a few moments of sniffling and shuddering, Peter decided he had to tell you the truth. “I think it’s time to tell you why I’m always busy.”
You tilted your head to the side like a lost puppy. “What do you mean? You’re usually just busy with the Stark Internship.”
“That’s the thing,” Peter looked at you with his cried-out bloodshot eyes. He began to walk around your apartment to figure out the right words to say. “The internship isn’t real, well, I mean, it kinda is, but…” He finally stopped pacing in between your kitchen and living room. When he turned to face you, something in you knew this would be a life-changing moment.
“When I said I save everyone, I meant it literally. I’m actually Sp—”
Peter never finished his sentence as a bright flash occurred in front of his and your eyes.
An explosion set off, causing both of you to fall unconscious on your apartment floor.
Several minutes later, Peter woke up on his back, dazed and confused from the explosion. He coughed among the thick smoky air and picked himself up. Thankfully nothing fell on him during the explosion. When he noticed you lying flat on your stomach with your face on the floor, Peter immediately darted to your aid, ignoring the sharp pain in his lower back.
Partially from being temporarily deaf, but mostly because he feared the worst, Peter screamed your name over and over while caressing your cheek and pulled your body into his lap on the floor among the fallen furniture and objects.
“Are you awake?! Please, please wake up…”
Your eyes still didn’t open. A million thoughts were running through his head, with one thought echoing prominently:
Not again. Not again. Not again.
The scared boy gulped nervously, tears hinting at his eyes again, then held two fingers against your neck and became relieved to find a weak heartbeat pulsing against his touch. Peter coughed again and heard the sirens in the distance, realizing he needed to get you and everyone else out of the building.
He got up and placed you back on the floor gently to quickly get into his iconic suit. Once he pulled his mask completely over his face, Peter could breathe properly again. In Peter’s ear, Karen spewed the breakdown of the damage and analyzed how many others were in the building, all while he tried to figure out the best way to get you safely out of the apartment.
Peter carried you in his arms over to your living room window and managed to get the two of you onto the fire escape. He looked down at the fearful civilians three floors below, witnessing the smoke and beginning flames from the apartment complex.
Spider-man glanced down at the beauty in his arms. “I’ll be with you soon, okay, honey?” Peter promised before giving you a kiss on your forehead.
The hero couldn’t bear to leave your side, but his rightful duty ran through his veins. Sometimes, Peter wished he could give up this life—to lead a simple life with you.
But Peter was torn to do what was right. He vowed to save everyone, including you, before he could save himself. It was only the right thing to do.
Peter then threw you into mid-air and webbed a safe hammock which caught you in between two trees below, near street level.
The courageous figure went back into the burning building with you on his mind.
Arriving to the hospital a few hours later, Peter ran frantically to your hospital room, where he saw you lying peacefully in bed with your parents by your side. Your mom was sitting in the bedside chair while your father was standing. Both of them looked up at Peter with weak smiles and strode towards him.
Out of breath, Peter began to explain his lateness. “I would’ve came sooner but—”
Your mom held a hand up and shook her head lightly. “It’s okay, Peter. We understand—don’t worry. We’re just glad you’re here.” Her eyes glanced back at you on your bed. “The doctors told us the explosion only gave her a slight concussion and some fractures. She’s stable right now and should wake up soon.”
All three of them stared at you on your bed silently for a few moments; all were glad that you were going to be okay. Assuming you two would need some time alone together, your father told Peter, “We’re going to go for a little walk. We’ll be back soon.”
Both of them walked out soon after and Peter took the seat that was just occupied by your mom. Peter reached for your hand and held it tightly in his. He managed to save mostly everyone from the explosion, but some he couldn’t. It was inevitable as they were right next to the source of the gas pipe which exploded. Usually, Peter would mourn for those he couldn’t save, but today, all he could think about was making sure you were okay.
Peter glanced back and forth between you and the mute TV for several minutes until he noticed you slowly opening your eyes.
“Oh, my God. Hey…” Peter called your name softly and gripped your hand even tighter than before. “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit, but I’ll be okay,” you attempted to adjust yourself more comfortably in your bed, but seethed from the fracture pains. Peter hastily explained what happened and you asked him why you were in a hospital bed from the blast and he wasn’t.
“Well,” he glanced around nervously to make sure no one was listening. Continuing when he saw the coast was clear, he whispered lowly, “I was about to tell you before the explosion, but I’m actually—”
“Spider-man,” you groaned as you kept adjusting your position in your bed. Peter’s eyes widened from the truth slipping off your tongue, unsure of how you figured it out since you were unconscious after the explosion.
“I remember now. It’s a bit fuzzy, but I wasn’t totally knocked out after the explosion. I could hear your voice and I saw a glimpse of the red and blue suit. I guess it makes sense why you aren’t in the bed next to me; you probably don’t feel any pain.”
“Not true. I do feel some pain.” Peter chuckled softly and remembered the tingling in his back from the explosion. Heartache was also possible for him to feel, but Peter hoped he didn’t have to go through it, especially with you.
“Well, just because you’re Spider-man,” you remarked in a hush tone, unfazed from the new truth. “It doesn’t get you off scotch-free for needing to put more time and effort in this relationship.”
Peter nodded fervently, still holding your hand in his. “I know. I’ll try my best to see you more often—I promise.”
“It’s okay, Peter.” Your eyes look away, defeated. You glanced up at the brown-haired boy, then towards the door. “You can still walk out if you think you can’t do this.”
Being Spider-man made sense to you as to why Peter was never able to see you, and you didn’t need to hear why he kept the truth a secret from you. It was obvious and being a superhero was definitely more important than a girlfriend.
You would understand if Peter chose his other life over you; you’d never make him choose between being Spider-man or being with you.
Your boyfriend used both of his hands and gingerly lifted your hand up to his face, kissing your knuckle and lovingly rubbed his face against it.
Shaking his head, Peter whispered, “I’m not walking out of here unless it’s with you.”
You smiled, causing him to smile too.
“Give me another chance to prove myself to you, okay?”
You nodded weakly, saying, “I guess I’m kind of obligated to give Spider-man a chance.”
You were too tired to chuckle, so you closed your eyes and continued to rest in bed, while Peter held onto your hand throughout your sleep until Aunt May peeled him away from your bed and dragged him home to let him rest.