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In the whole 8 years of his life, Seokmin had believed that Minghao was nothing short of magical.
That’s why when the button-nosed boy told him that he could perform magic, one that could make Seokmin’s nervousness go away, Seokmin didn’t doubt him.
They were in a toilet right next to the school auditorium. Seokmin had his king outfit on, complete with the crown and golden staff. His best friend had a green coat with tails and pointed elf ears. They were supposed to be back stage by now, but the nervous worms got into Seokmin’s stomach, wrecking him until tears fell from his eyes.
“Here, it’ll go away,” said Minghao before leaning towards Seokmin.
When Seokmin registered the softness of Minghao’s lips against his right cheek, he felt warmth spreading all over his body.
Going up the stage didn’t seem that scary anymore.
**
What if they were lying? thought Seokmin, immediately followed with a sense of guilt.
Seokmin had heard many people in his life telling him what a good singer he was. His music teacher at junior high, the nice old Mrs. Jimin next door, his own parents. It was nice to hear all those praises, and Seokmin did like his own voice.
But to be confident about it? That’s quite a reach.
So he panicked when he found out that his mother registered him for a local singing contest, held by the town’s government to celebrate its anniversary. He told his mother no, again and again, but now here he was, at the waiting room next to the stage, dressed in a simple black suit that his mother tailored especially for this occasion.
His mother had left to the audience seat with his father and little sister, ready with their old digital camera for pictures and father’s smartphone for videos. It was nerve-racking to be in a room filled with talented teenage singers from all over the town, but it’s good that his family was not here with him. They would probably just make Seokmin even more nervous. Besides, he had Minghao by his side.
Minghao sat next to him at the back row of the waiting room, letting Seokmin grip the end of his favorite jacket. Seokmin had pulled on the blue fabric for almost an hour now, it probably got stretched, but Minghao didn’t even scold him.
“We’ll be calling the first contestant in 2 minutes,” a woman said from the front side of the room. At the words, Seokmin shrunk to his left towards Minghao.
“Uuu....” He let out a muffled cry and gripped tighter on Minghao’s jacket. He felt Minghao leaning and their bodies were pressed together, sharing the warmth. But the nerves were still winning over Seokmin.
So he twisted his neck, Minghao’s calm face now inches in front of him, and said, “Minghao, can you—um, you know.” Seokmin glanced at the row of contestants in front of him before going back to look at Minghao.
”Please?”
A small smile appeared on Minghao’s face, and Seokmin managed to capture the beautiful sight before Minghao’s face came closer and a peck landed on his right cheek.
“There.” Minghao pulled away and looked at Seokmin. “How about now?”
Seokmin gave Minghao his best smile.
**
Seokmin knew he was being ridiculous. He’s a high schooler, for God’s sake. A full 17-year-old, almost an adult. And yet he’s sobbing at the city library’s cafeteria.
He couldn’t see his surroundings with his body trembling and eyes muddled with tears, but he knew he was getting the stares. He was being embarrassing. And yet Minghao didn’t leave his side.
It was Saturday afternoon and they were studying. Exam was in two months, so it’s their last painful sprint to get passing grades and enter their target universities. Seokmin didn’t hate studying, but he was not exactly good at it. Chemistry and History were okay, while Physics kept kicking his ass so he barely survived.
In the middle of lunch break, Seokmin suddenly burst into tears. He’s no psychologist but it’s probably the built up stress. Stress that he brought on his own. No one, not even his parents, had been pressuring him. His homeroom teacher said that he needed to work on some things but overall, he could get into his target university by keeping his performance from almost the last 3 years. But Seokmin still worried. He had been crossing off the days on his calendar every night and his dreams had not been pretty.
That’s most likely the source of these tears. Seokmin let them all out while Minghao rubbed his back. When his crying had subsided, Minghao took him outside through the back door. There’s a water tap behind the cafeteria building, and Minghao told Seokmin to wash his face.
After doing as he was told, Seokmin had his face cupped by Minghao’s lanky hands. Minghao’s right hand had a handkerchief and it slowly wiped the water from Seokmin’s face.
“Minghao...” Seokmin felt like crying again. He’s not the strongest person and couldn’t help but indulging himself in Minghao’s kindness.
“You’ll be fine,” said Minghao with a chuckle. He was still cupping Seokmin’s face after he’s done wiping. When he pulled Seokmin with those hands, Seokmin let him.
One peck to his right cheek, one to left cheek, back to the right cheek, and more, and more. It was getting ticklish and Seokmin struggled out of Minghao’s hold halfheartedly. He giggled and he heard Minghao laughing too.
After one last kiss to the forehead, Minghao let him go. With a bright smile, he asked, “You’re going to be fine?”
It didn’t take a lot of thinking for Seokmin to nod.
**
He had been changing his top more than 10 times in the past 30 minutes and it’s—HOLLY SHIT IT’S 6.
Looking at the clock on his desk, Seokmin mentally slapped himself and grabbed the very first shirt he tried, squishing himself inside it in as fast as he could because he was going to be late. He’s having his first date with Jaehyun and he’s going to be late. Unbelievable.
“Seok, you’re gonna be late,” said Minghao from the next room. Seokmin didn’t reply until he opened the door of his room and stumbled out.
“I know, I know. Oh my God, I’m going to mess this up. I can’t believe it. Finally, a date, and I’m going to ruin it. How can I—I mean, it’s probably what it’s meant to be. I’m not—I can’t date Jung Jaehyun, this isn’t going to work. Like—“
“Seokmin.”
Minghao’s voice brought him back to reality and Seokmin sighed.
“I’m just... nervous...”
Minghao looked at him from the sofa and smirked. “When are you not.” It was free from all seriousness and Seokmin faked a pout.
“Please, Minghao. I need your magic, pleaaase.”
For a split second Minghao’s face seemed to tense. It piqued Seokmin’s curiosity but Minghao had already regained his usual composure and stood from the sofa to walk towards Seokmin.
Minghao stopped when they were a step apart, and Seokmin was once again surprised by the change in his best friend’s face. There was something sad and dark in those eyes as they looked at Seokmin’s and then traveled downward.
What came after was not the usual warmth of Minghao’s lips against his skin. Seokmin felt the hand first, touching his nape and pulling him forward. Next was Minghao’s lips, but it wasn’t touching either of his cheeks.
The soft lips were pressing on Seokmin’s own. Not exactly harsh, but there’s some kind of desperation that made it less than gentle. At first Seokmin was surprised, but his head quickly told him that he didn’t mind this at all. Unfortunately, the kiss stopped when he was starting to reciprocate.
Minghao pulled away and gave a somehow stiff smile. “There. Now you’re fine.”
Something filled Seokmin’s chest with a nagging discomfort. But he only said his thanks and walked out of the apartment.
**
Seokmin absentmindedly said “I’m back” as he opened the door to his apartment. It was sometime after 9 and Seokmin’s head was still occupied by what happened the past few hours. His first date with Jung Jaehyun, a fellow sophomore he’d been crushing on since their college entrance ceremony.
It was so mind-blowing that he hit his toes at the edge of the door frame heading to their living room. He let out a small “Ouch!” and that made Minghao turned his head. His best friend was sitting on the sofa with his legs stretched and foot resting on the arms.
Minghao only gave him a glance before his gaze went back to the book in his hands. “How was it?”
“Hmm.” Seokmin mumbled as he walked towards the sofa. He didn’t say anything else until he arrived and pushed Minghao a bit to the back, making a small space for him to sit near Minghao’s hips.
“Disaster.”
Minghao finally looked up from his book. He had a frown on his face. “Was he a jerk?”
Seokmin shook his head. “No. I was.”
Minghao raised his eyebrows and waited. It was the most nerve-racking silence of Seokmin’s life, he needed time to gather his courage.
Eventually he had to grab the edge of Minghao’s shirt before saying, “I was with him, but all I thought of was you.”
Minghao’s beautiful eyes widened in surprise, and he looked so stunned that he’s not moving a muscle. Seokmin took a deep breath and spoke again.
“I’m very nervous but I’m going to do it.”
Seokmin placed both of his hands on Minghao’s shoulders. He knew that he was trembling and his shaking travelled to Minghao’s body. Really, nothing in his 20-year-old life had made him this nervous. But then he saw the flicker of hope and doubt in Minghao’s eyes. More than ever, Seokmin braced himself.
He leaned towards his best friend and pressed their lips together. A million of thoughts flew through his head, starting from ”I must be the worst kisser in the world” to “What if he doesn’t want this and hates me?” He persisted through it and tried to convey his feelings with each movement of his lips.
The discouraging thoughts faded away as he felt Minghao responding to the kiss, and it somehow relieved him to know that Minghao was also shaking a bit.
When they pulled apart for air, Minghao rested his forehead against Seokmin’s.
“Are you still nervous to do it again?”
“I should be asking you that.”
They both laughed before meeting each other halfway.