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I can’t stop staring at him. I can’t breathe in enough of his scent or whisper how much I love him nearly enough. I can’t help myself from wrapping my arm around his waist and pulling him closer for me to snuggle into his chest.
His breathe is steady in his sleep and his features are relaxed which is a refreshing change. Sure, I do absolutely adore his fierce expressions that make my heart flutter helplessly, but watching his skin free of crinkles from a scowl or an extra toothy smile makes my heart stop all together.
I think the only thing I could say I don’t like about him when he sleeps is that I can’t devour those eyes of his. I don’t think that I could ever quite describe them. They are a extravagant ocean blue but mixed with a forest green to make the most wonderful of colors. It’s a combination so perfect, I don’t think he is real sometimes. He’s so perfect.
I sigh and tear my eyes away from his face. He really isn’t perfect. I chuckle lightly at the thought.
Eren truly is perfect, I smile larger than I would ever let anyone know I could. Eren really isn’t perfect. He is argumentative, stubborn, and so god damn persistent. He is hot headed and is easily offended. He is annoyingly enthusiastic about things and he smiles way too often which I always complain about but secretly cherish.
But then I guess he is perfect. He’s perfect for me. Though Eren can annoy the shit out of me, he is always so determined and puts his everything into every single thing he does. He is caring and always knows when to hug me or kiss me or hold my hand. He tells me I’m beautiful which I punch him for because I am not a woman but it makes my heart do somersaults.
There’s also something about Eren that I still can’t figure out which draws me to him. Just like the first time he walked into my literature class, I felt my heart start thumping erratically. It was utterly ridiculous and I scrutinized what so special about him for so long before I approached him and even now I still question. What about him catches my attention so much so that he gets my blood pumping so fast?
I don’t know if I will ever figure it out. All I know is that I love the way he makes me feel and I love that I make him smile and laugh and that he still wants to kiss me even after all these months of being with me. I love that he drags me to his dorm every night, leaving my dorm empty for Erwin to do god knows what with Armin. I love that he tells me he loves me on occasion because it makes it special. It’s not every day but he never forgets to tell me and it makes absolutely no sense but total sense at the same time.
I don’t know. I unwrap my arm from his waist and shift slightly away from him. He overwhelms me sometimes. I get so caught up in my love for him that I will stumble and fall just to look up and realize where I stood and still stand, hypothetically. I always ask myself what I’m doing, getting so close to someone.
What am I doing? Eren is so amazing and beautiful and he is a strong person so what is he doing with a grouch like me. Sure, he tells me I’m smart and unlike anyone he has ever met. I get his heart pumping every time I say his name, he says. He tells me I am so precious to him and that he never wants to let me go. But I am so sure he can do so much better.
When I tell him this he always gets really angry and tells me that he is the one who doesn’t deserve what he has gotten. He says he doesn’t understand how he could get someone as unique as I just as he asked. He says I am the someone he was looking for.
“Levi, where’d you go,” I hear Eren grumble in his sleep and I watch as he reaches his arms out, searching for my warmth. When his hand finally grabs onto my waist he tugs me towards himself and snuggles his nose into my hair. He thinks I’m asleep.
“Levi, I love you, “ he hums and I instantly grab onto his arm that is wrapped around him.
“I love you, too, Eren. I love you so much,” I tell him and I just know he is smiling sleepily.
I am being happy, I answer my own question. That is what I’m doing. I am being happy while making this boy that I love way too much as happy as much as I can. I hope he will be mine forever.