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Renjun wasn’t given the nickname ‘Golden Hand’ for no reason. The boy was a wizard with pencils and brushes. When he was a kid he asked for paint sets instead of toys and he was more excited about a new arts and crafts store opening rather than an amusement park. It was because of his skill that he won a scholarship to study art at SM U.
“If you need a model I would be happy to pose.” Donghyuck smirked as he and Renjun walked down the campus hallways together. “Mark hyung told me I have the perfect male form.”
“Uh huh, and Michelangelo’s David penis.” Renjun rolled his eyes. He avoided a rough slap from his best friend and giggled. “As charitable as it was for you to offer, I think Yuta hyung is volunteering to be our nude model.”
“And Sicheng hyung is okay with that?” Donghyuck raised an eyebrow.
“It was his idea.” Renjun made a face. “Said it would keep him occupied for a bit.”
“Who knew that the star varisty soccer player in our university has an exhibitionist kink?”
“I did. His dorm is right opposite my dorm.” Renjun shuddered at the memory of Yuta walking stark naked in his apartment with the curtains open, hopping onto Sicheng’s lap.
“Hey Jaemin.” Donghyuck smiled before giving Na Jaemin’s friend a kiss. “Hey Mark, how’s my favourite basketball player?”
“I’m the only basketball player you know babe.” Mark laughed. “Hey Renjun.”
“Hey Mark.” Renjun fist bumped him. “Hi Jaemin.”
“Hey Injunnie!” Jaemin smiled brightly. “How’s class coming along?”
“It’s fine.” Renjun smiled shyly. “We have a nude portrait assignment coming up soon. Yuta hyung is volunteering.”
“Of course he is.” Mark rolled his eyes.
“Isn’t it weird to just stare at someone’s naked body for hours and hours?” Jaemin asked Renjun.
“No.” Donghyuck shook his head, his eyes never leaving Mark’s face. Renjun slapped his side again.
“Well not if you really like him,” Jaemin said. “I just mean in general, like what if you aren’t attracted to him? Isn’t that just weird?”
“It’s a little awkward at first.” Renjun explained. “But we have our assignment to think about so we don’t bother that much about it.”
“I bet your drawing will be awesome.”
“No,” Renjun shook his head, blushing a little. “I’m just an okay artist.”
“Yeah and I’m Janet Jackson.” Donghyuck stuck his tongue out. “Bitch please. Everyone knows you are one of the best artists this campus has ever seen.”
“Actually you could pass for Janet. Just a bra with some cotton…”
“Not now Mark.” Donghyuck snapped at him and the varsity athlete kept quiet. “I’m just saying maybe you should show Jaemin…” Donghyuck didn’t even get to finish that sentence as Renjun lunged at him and covered his mouth.
“Show me what?” Jaemin asked. “Show me what?”
“It’s nothing!!” Renjun shook his head.
“His sajhfdaldhfkja…” Donghyuck tried to talk but Renjun put him in a chokehold.
“It’s nothing.” Renjun laughed nervously. “Don’t listen to him. He hasn’t had his morning coffee yet so he’s not in the right frame of mind.”
“Okay…” Jaemin shrugged. “Mark come on. We better go to class.”
“Alright. See you guys for lunch!”
“Bye!!” Renjun waved, one hand still putting Donghyuck in a chokehold. Once the two boys were out of sight, Renjun finally let the other go and he fell to the ground, gasping and wheezing.
“Don’t do that!” Renjun stomped his foot.
“Do what? Tell Jaemin you have been drawing his portrait secretly for the past two years?”
“Shhh!!!” he shushed him, looking around to make sure no one else was paying attention to him.
“Seriously, this crush is getting pathetic. For the love of God, and I mean me, please tell him.”
“Firstly, you are not God and never will be, and secondly Jaemin doesn’t like me back.”
“Firstly, fuck you, and secondly how do you know that?”
Firstly, fuck you too, and secondly why would he ever like me back?” Renjun sighed, leaning against the wall. “He’s Na freaking Jaemin. Mr Sunshine and Sunflowers. He can have his pick of any male or female in this campus.”
“Which includes you.”
“No it doesn’t.” Renjun shook his head. “He only sees me as a bro.”
“So what are you going to do? Fill your notebook with drawings of him and never tell a soul?”
“That sounds about right.”
“You know you need to stop inhaling paint thinner. I think you’re losing your mind.” Donghyuck sighed. “Look you need to tell him how you feel, that’s the only way you’re ever going to move on. If I didn’t make the first move I would have never gotten together with Mark.”
“You literally yelled at Mark Lee during a basketball match and said ‘listen you piece of shit if you don’t score this three pointer I am not going to ask you out’.”
“Yeah well it worked didn’t it?”
“It was during the regional finals!” Renjun exclaimed.
“To which they won. He got the Golden Ball award, I got the golden boy.” Donghyuck grinned proudly.
*********************
Nakamoto Yuta was honestly way too confident in himself as he sat on a chair in his birthday suit, posing for the art students. Professor Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, or simply known as Ten to the whole campus, rolled his eyes when Yuta tried to shift into a more ‘prominent’ position. He took his ruler and snapped it on his shoulder.
“Move again and I’ll snap this somewhere else.”
“Sorry sir.”
Renjun wasn’t very interested. He was working on the outline of Yuta’s figure but to be honest he was still thinking about that joke Jaemin told him at lunch about a frog and a turtle.
He thought about Jaemin’s smile. Jaemin’s laughter. Jaemin’s eyes.
The way Jaemin’s arm brushed against his.
The way his newly dyed pink hair looked like pink poofy cotton candy.
The way he smelled of lavender and honey.
“Huang Renjun.” A stern voice came from behind him.
“Oh.” Renjun jolted when Ten appeared by his side, glaring at the student through the thick lens of his glasses.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine sir.”
“Get back to work. No more day dreaming.”
Renjun bit a lip and nodded. He tried to refocus on Yuta and his drawing.
“I got you your favourite dessert.” Renjun said, handing over his chocolate brownie to Jaemin. He knew how much the sports science student loved sweets.
“Thank you! You know me so well!” Jaemin grinned happily. “See? Injunnie knows me best!”
“I’m sorry I don’t risk my life to fight for the last brownie in the cafeteria.” Mark rolled his eyes.
“I’ll buy you tea after this.” Jaemin smiled, digging into the brownie. “Here, you should have some.”
“Oh no it’s okay.”
“Come on.”
“Really it’s fine.”
“Say ah.”
“I’m not a baby anymore!” Renjun whined.
“Say ah.” Renjun pouted before opening his mouth and letting Jaemin feed him. His mouth clamped down on the spoon, lips dragging against it until it was out of his mouth.
It was the same spoon Jaemin was using. His lips touched it so ergo he kissed him. It was an indirect kiss. They have had so many indirect kisses that if Renjun had a dollar for each one he could retire in the Maldives by now.
“Don’t pretend you don’t like it.” Jaemin teased.
“It’s not the brownie I like.” Renjun mumbled absentmindedly.
“Say that again.”
“Professor Ten!” Renjun got a shock when Ten’s face appeared in front of his. “I…uh…”
“You just wasted 15 minutes by staring into space.” Ten shook his head. “You’re not leaving this room until you finish this portrait.”
“But sir…”
“Not even to go the bathroom. Do you understand me?”
“Yes sir.”
Renjun finished it as fast as he could and up to the quality that he was promised to deliver. It was half an hour after class was over and Renjun had barely finished the drawing. Ten came up from behind him to check on him.
“Nicely done, considering your head was on Andromeda all this time.” He nodded. “Although the model doesn’t really look like Yuta.”
“Huh?” Renjun turned back to his drawing. It was only then he realized what he had done. In his absentminded half-drawing half-fantasy, he had drawn Jaemin’s face instead of Yuta’s. Actually it was more like half-Jaemin and half-Yuta, making him look like a weird Caucasian but he had drawn Jaemin’s eyes clearly. And Jaemin’s lips too.
Oh fuck.
“Seems like you’re not doing so well in facial portraits?” Ten raised an eyebrow.
“I can do this again sir.”
“It’s too late. Hand over the drawing.”
“But sir, this really isn’t up to standard.” Renjun stammered. “I should be handing in a better drawing to you.”
“And you will. Tomorrow it’s Hyuna’s turn to model and you will do a better job than what you did today.” Ten scolded him. “But in the meantime, all drawing assignments are kept here in my office.”
“Yes sir.” Renjun handed the drawing to him. He felt horrible. He really should have been paying attention but rather than feeling guilty he was just embarrassed that he had ACTUALLY DRAWN Jaemin’s face mixed with Yuta’s on a NUDE MODEL drawing.
Maybe it was because he has drawn Jaemin’s face so many times he knew it like the back of his hand.
Maybe it was because he can’t stop thinking about him.
Maybe it was because he has been in love with Jaemin since high school, when he was just quiet, nerdy Huang Renjun who just moved from China to Seoul and Jaemin was the star track and field athlete of Dream High.
It was a pathetic and terrible cliché to fall in love with the most popular boy in school but he couldn’t help it. Jaemin was one of the few kids in high school who openly welcomed him. They were from different classes (maybe even different planets considering the structure of high school) but Jaemin always smiled at him and said nice things. They became even closer when they were in university and Jaemin has been nothing but sweet and attentive towards him.
Renjun used (and still is, to some extent) to be teased about being an ‘oddball’ in school. He was highly creative, no doubt, with an overactive imagination. He believed in ghosts and aliens and had a fond affinity for Moomin, so people made fun of him for being ‘childish’ or being ‘immature’. Jaemin never made fun of him, in fact he often defended him to his friends. Jaemin was always around to listen to him, no matter how wild his theories or how fanatic his imagination was. Once Renjun spent two hours talking about stars, the universe and aliens to Jaemin and the other didn’t complain at all.
It was one of the many reasons why Renjun couldn’t confess to him. He had grown so fond and attached to him that he just couldn’t risk breaking that bond. If he confessed and Jaemin said no, he would lose not only a lover but a friend, and Renjun couldn’t do that. He couldn’t lose him.
Renjun left the art studio feeling dejected. He was disappointed in himself and needed a tea break. Just as he was moping around the hallways, the voice of an angel appeared from behind him with a hot beverage in his hand.
“For you.” Jaemin smiled, handing him the cup.
“What’s this?” Renjun asked.
“I told you I would get you tea didn’t I? During lunch?” Jaemin said. “I recall jasmine being your favourite.”
No. You are my favourite.
“Thank you.” Renjun sipped the tea and felt his tense muscles relax. “I just had a bad day today.”
“Why? Did something happen?”
“I busted up my nude model drawing.” Renjun shook his head. “I even got yelled by Ten about it.”
“Ouch, I’m sorry to hear that.” Jaemin made a face. “It’s fine. You’ll do better on the next assignment. The Renjun I know is no quitter.”
“The Renjun you know is also very down and upset now.”
“Then I know the perfect remedy.” Jaemin grinned. “Let’s grab the guys and go to the arcade!”
Honestly if I had my way, I would just want to spend time with you. Just talking to you, holding your hand and listening to you. Just… just being with you.
“Sure but we are not letting Donghyuck hog the basketball machine again.”
“Of course. Once he starts there’s no way he’s leaving.” Jaemin chuckled.
It wasn’t what he had in mind but it was a start. Time with Jaemin was better than none at all.
*********************
The next day Renjun arrived for class he was shocked to find that the students were outside the studio instead of inside. He turned to one of his classmates Chaeyoung.
“Chae, what’s going on?”
“Someone broke into the art studio and stole all of our art supplies.”
“WHAT?!?!” Renjun dashed to the front of the crowd and stared at the studio in horror. It was a mess. Paint was spilled on the floor, easels knocked over, rolls of canvas had fallen from their place and the shelves, which used to store their drawings, were completely empty. Ten and his fellow colleague Professor Song Minho was assessing the mess and taking down what went missing.
“Professor.” Renjun called.
“This is a disaster.” Ten threw his hands in the air. “Every single one of those portraits. Missing! Even the ones from yesterday!”
“We have to cancel our classes from now on until we can recover what has been stolen from us.” Professor Song said.
Wait, every single portrait stolen?
Even…
Holy shit.
Holy fuck.
Renjun felt his blood travel south and his knees weak. Somewhere out there, there was a thief with his drawing. A drawing of Jaemin’s naked body.
Well actually it was Yuta’s and really only the eyes and lips were Jaemin’s but STILL.
Renjun ran away from class and dashed across the campus to Donghyuck’s music class. He stormed into the music room and grabbed Donghyuck away from the piano.
“What what?! What’s wrong?”
“It’s horrible! Someone stole all the supplies from the art studio!!” Renjun panicked. “They took everything, including my portrait!”
“You mean the nude one you hated so much yesterday?” Donghyuck made a face. “So some thief walked away with 20 badly drawn dick pics. It doesn’t sound so bad.”
“It’s not…well…”
“Why? What else was wrong with that portrait?” Donghyuck crossed his arms and stared at him suspiciously.
“I…may or may not have fused a couple of…things…”
“Like what?” Donghyuck cupped his hand at his ear and leaned closer to Renjun.
“I drew half of Jaemin’s face in that drawing okay? Are you happy?!”
“Shit.”
“Hyuck you have to help me. If that drawing gets in the wrong hands I’m dead!!”
“Okay okay calm down.” Donghyuck grabbed the smaller boy’s shoulders. “Just breathe, did your professors say anything about who might have done this?”
“No.”
“Okay, I’ll pass the word around and tell them that if they hear anything they should let Ten know.” Donghyuck said. “I can ask Yeri as well. That girl is like Karen Smith, she knows everything about everyone and sometimes a little too much.”
“Oh my god if Jaemin finds out about this I’ll be dead, okay? Dead.”
“What flowers would you like at your funeral?”
“Nothing. Just bury me in an unmarked grave so no one can find me.”
“It’ll be fine.” Donghyuck assured him. “We’ll get your portrait back.”
They definitely did not get his portrait back. It turned out that a group of seniors had smoked a little too much weed and broke into the art studio. They swiped everything and drew a giant painting of a weed leaf on the side of SM U’s parking lot. Needless to say, they were suspended until the moon turned purple and was ordered to scrub off the weed leaf.
The art supplies could not be recovered, so Ten and Professor Song had to purchase new ones. The crackhead seniors apparently dumped the portraits in a nearby trash can and they managed to get most of it back, at least the ones who weren’t covered in vomit or scratched by cats.
Renjun’s portrait however was nowhere to be seen. Chaeyoung said it was probably buried under layers and layers of trash or possible dropped somewhere else. Renjun was worried but after three days of no new updates, he figured the portrait was truly missing and would never show up again.
Which was perfect because he never, ever wanted to see it again.
*********************
“Thank you so much Renjun!” Chenle smiled at the finished portrait of him and his partner Jisung.
“That’ll be twenty bucks.” Renjun pocketed the cash and gave the two freshman a wave as they left his booth. It was the annual Fall Fest and students were setting up booths to raise money for charity. Renjun and some of his classmates volunteered to set up a portrait booth to raise cash at twenty bucks per portrait.
“How’s business?” Donghyuck asked him, wiping his sweat as he rubbed his hands against his apron.
“Nice. How’s the barbeque business going?”
“I’m beginning to think it was a bad idea.” Donghyuck sighed.
“But there’s so many people rushing to your stall.”
“That’s the problem. There’s too many orders and not enough cooks.” He huffed. “I’m all out of meat. I have to close down.”
“Lucky you.” He laughed. “Do you want to sit here and get your portrait done?”
“No thanks.” Donghyuck smiled a little. “Someone else will come and get their portrait done though.”
“Who?”
“You’ll see.”
Renjun rolled his eyes and ignored him. He waited a couple more minutes for his next customer and smiled when Jaemin appeared.
“Want a portrait?” he asked.
“Is it free?”
“Of course not! Not for the diuretic children!”
“It’s diabetic but sure.” Jaemin laughed. “I’ll finally get my portrait done by our school’s Picasso.”
“Oh please,” Renjun rolled his eyes. “It’s Vincent Van Gogh.”
Renjun knew how to draw Jaemin from memory. He could probably do it with his eyes closed but he didn’t. He focused on the soft curve of Jaemin’s nose, the way his lips curved upwards so adorably. His pencil followed every curve and ridge of the outline of his face. There was not a word between them except for the sound of Renjun’s pencil scraping against the paper.
“That didn’t take long.” Jaemin’s eyes widened when Renjun handed him the finished portrait.
“Oh well,” Renjun gulped. “I get faster with practice.”
“So you’ve been practicing me?”
“Er no, I mean drawing people in general.”
“That’s beautiful.” Jaemin said. “I can’t believe I look like that.”
“You mean you don’t?” Renjun raised an eyebrow.
“I just thought I was kind of average looking.”
Average? Nothing about you is average. You are the literal sun in the sky, the snow during winter and the blooming flowers of spring. You are everything and more.
“Yeah well as an artist I like to inflate my customer’s beauty.” Renjun teased.
“Can you leave your signature here?” Jaemin pointed to the edge of the drawing.
“Sure.” Renjun signed on the spot.
“And one more.” Jaemin pulled out a piece of folded paper from his pocket. Renjun stared at the familiar material and dropped his pencil in horror as it slowly unfolded before him.
It was his nude drawing. Jaemin has his nude drawing.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK ABORRRT MISSSION!!!
“Oh my god.” He gasped, clutching his chest.
“Was this the portrait you said went missing?”
Renjun stared at it. He had left his signature at the bottom, just a few feet away from Yuta’s feet. The face was staring back at him, an ugly mix of Yuta and Jaemin’s features. He could feel the shame and embarrassment creeping up and swallowing him whole.
“Wha…what are you doing with it?”
“There’s two things I have to confess.” Jaemin said. “I lied to you when I saw I didn’t know who took your drawing. I was the one who took it.”
“Wha?!? You broke into my art studio!?!?” Renjun screeched.
“I didn’t break into it. I was at the library studying for my quiz and I saw the ragtag group of seniors inside the studio stealing paint. I chased them out before they could cause anymore damage and then,” he pointed to the portrait. “This fell out from the bundle they were holding.”
“Okay…”
“I saw your signature and decided to keep it. I was going to return it to you but…” he looked at the portrait one more time, scanning it carefully.
Shit he knows it’s him. Shit shit SHIT!!
Renjun snatched the portrait back and tore it up. The loud shredding sound caught everyone’s attention as he tore the portrait into pieces and curled it up into a ball.
“Renjun! Why did you do that?”
“It’s a bad drawing. It’s embarrassing.” Renjun huffed, tossing the ball behind him. “I hated it.”
“But…” Jaemin said. “It’s me, wasn’t it?”
“No, it was Yuta.”
“But it looks nothing like Yuta.”
“That’s why it was so bad.”
“Renjun.” Jaemin sighed. He looked at him with those eyes that Renjun could not resist. He shifted closer to him, gripping his thighs with his hands.
“Do you want to know what my second confession is?”
Renjun gulped thickly. “What?”
“How do you want me to tell you? With my words or my lips?”
“What are you…” Jaemin shut him up as he leaned forward and pressed his lips against his. Renjun squealed into the kiss, hands flailing about before landing on Jaemin’s shoulders to steady himself against him. Jaemin’s kiss was light and feathery, sending jolts of static down his spine. It was everything he ever dreamed of and more. By the time Renjun started kissing him back, Jaemin had peeled away slowly.
“Jaemin?”
“I like you silly.” Jaemin smiled. “I have for a very long time.”
“You… you knew about me all this time?”
“I had… guesses.” Jaemin shrugged. “But nothing was certain until I saw that portrait.”
“Oh.”
“Was it…really me?”
Renjun blushed. “Half of you.” He admitted. “That’s why it was so bad. It should have been you.”
“So you want to see me naked?”
“What?! Er no…I…uhm…”
“God you’re so cute when you blush.” Jaemin teased, pulling Renjun closer to him. “You’re as pink as my hair.”
“Stop that!” Renjun pushed him. “We’re in public!”
“Can I at least kiss you again?”
Renjun smiled and leaned towards him, kissing him this time. He closed his eyes and let Jaemin’s hands wrap around his neck, caressing it lovingly.
“Thank you for the portrait.” Jaemin winked. “I’ll talk to you again later in a while. Mark is going to be all over me if I don’t head back to the dunk booth.”
“Okay.” Renjun waved at him. He could feel the widest possible smile creep up on his cheeks and it drove him wild.
Wait a minute.
“HEY!!! NA JAEMIN WHERE’S MY 20 BUCKS?!?!?!?!” Renjun screamed after Jaemin but the other just flashed him a smile and a heart symbol and walked off. Renjun shook his head in realization at what he had just done but he didn’t wipe the smile off his face.
Fine. That one is on the house.
*********************
“Do art models get paid?” Jaemin asked Renjun as he rolled over on his bed, dressed carelessly in a plain muscle tee and sweatpants.
“Sometimes. Most of them in campus are volunteers.” Renjun said, focused on his sketchbook.
“Then I demand to be paid. You just sat there for an hour trying to draw me.”
“I’m actually done with the first one, I’m just trying to solve sudoku now.” Renjun smiled.
“Come here.” Jaemin patted the bed and Renjun dumped the sketchbook aside to climb back into bed with him. “I demand a payment of twenty kisses for each portrait you do of me.”
“I have better things to do with my lips than kiss you.” Renjun stuck his tongue out playfully. “Like eat! I’m going to make a snack. Hungry?”
“I’ll be with you in the kitchen in a minute.” Jaemin said. Renjun nodded and left he bedroom. Once he was out of earshot, Jaemin darted for Renjun’s sketchbook and flipped the pages. He had seen some of Renjun’s sketches of him before, but the latest one took the longest time. What was he trying to draw?
It was a pencil sketch of Jaemin and Renjun cuddling in bed. Renjun’s face was buried in his chest as Jaemin’s chin rested atop his head, eyes closed as they held onto each other.
Renjun had drawn a lot of portraits, but never of the two of them. Until now.
“Do you know why I drew that?” Renjun said, appearing by the door way.
“Why?”
“Because I can finally see myself with you.”