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At seventeen, you remember a lot of things. You remember those friends that you made in freshman year, that weren't quite friends once you made it to your sophomore. You remember your first kiss with the girl under the bleachers, and how her lips were sweet but not sweet enough to call your own. You remember your family, the goods and bad parts of growing up in a broken household and trying to get by, with a struggling mother and hope of better days...
And you remember him.
He was your best friend. Your confidant, your keeper.
Your lover.
It wasn't always supposed to be that way, ya know. At least not for Taehyung. He'd known Jeongguk all his life. Saw him in and out of diapers and bad haircuts. Saw him on his good days when he became Mr. Popular at school and stayed by his side on his great days of becoming captain of the football team.
Even the bad days weren't as bad with Taehyung around, Jeongguk used to say. Those bad days when Jeongguk's father would yell at him for any particular thing while Taehyung was around. He would sit in the living room and the shouts would be followed by slaps, and all Taehyung could do was wince as he heard the pain. Then moments later his broken best friend would come out with a handprint or redness and his eyes far away. Taehyung would grab his hand and there Jeongguk found true comfort. Hope.. and love.
It started out with hand holding.
One day they were in Jeongguk's bedroom after a particular screaming match with his father and this time, Jeongguk sported a new bruise under his eye. Jeongguk wanted to ignore it just like he usually does but Taehyung wouldn't let him. Not this time. He reached over and gently held his hand. Jeongguk sorta just looked at him oddly at first. Dudes didn't hold each other's hands. Taehyung remembered Jeongguk saying. But it didn't stop his friend from lacing their fingers together. Taehyung held it as long as he could and surprisingly... Jeongguk didn't pull away.
Then came the kiss.
Ever had a really good kiss? Not the movies type of kiss where somehow the world stops spinning and the camera manages to zoom in on just the right moment between actors playing pretend.. no.
A real kiss happens suddenly. Without warning. The world is still moving, people are still breathing, but somehow it feels like only you and him. Jeongguk did it suddenly. Video games and bullshit talk about your day wasn't supposed to turn into, "Do you like me?" The question was from Jeongguk. And a small snort was Taehyung's reply.
He didn't understand what he was asking. An "Of course you idiot." Was released from his lips, but Jeongguk just shook his head and asked him again, this time more seriously. "Do you like me?" Jeongguk asked him now as he turned on his bed, stomach facing Taehyung. Those brown eyes were wondering if he meant it how Taehyung hoped he meant it and before he got another word out, the kiss.. it happened suddenly.
Jeongguk's lips were softer than the fantasies he used to have but never managed to tell his best friend. He owned Taehyung's mouth, pressing soft and passionately against his own. He didn't dare touch Taehyung, but his lips.. oh lord.. his lips said everything Taehyung ever needed to know. Supple, warm, wet.. inviting. His first kiss was with a girl underneath the bleachers after school, but his best kiss was the secret one he shared with his best friend.
They didn't talk for a month after the kiss.
Jeongguk started dating Nikki Bella. Resident head cheerleader who didn't have a mean bone in her body. And Taehyung? Taehyung met a guy, a sweet nerd named Bo who took the place of Jeongguk as his best friend but.. not his heart. Jeongguk already owned that.
Sometimes in the lunchroom Taehyung would catch Jeongguk staring at him, those big doe eyes would capture his and Taehyung would let him stare. He wanted to say so many things. He wanted to tell him how much he missed him, how much he just wanted their friendship back. But in those eyes all he found was sadness. Nothing more.
Prom was around the corner.
Jeongguk was going with Mina. Taehyung was planning on going stag because Bo was going with Yuri. Or maybe he just wasn't gonna go at all. He couldn't bare seeing him happy with her. He couldn't bare seeing him right now. But Bo convinced him to go, and as they were all piled up on the limo, Taehyung couldn't help but to feel empty.
Jeongguk promised once that if they didn't have dates to prom they would go together. Just the thought now made Taehyung shiver. Imagine him going to prom with his dream guy, dancing all night long.. just the two of them. Then he could get a kiss. One that was better than the first. One that meant,
I want you too, Taehyung.
I need you too.
Lousy dancing. Even louder music, Taehyung hated it all. He had a nice red solo cup in his hands and a wall to lean against. His idea of a perfect night. The couples danced and he couldn't find Jeongguk anywhere. He must be off with his beautiful girlfriend, making love to her. Pretending that he didn't give Taehyung the best kiss he's ever gotten. Pretending that there was nothing between them. Taehyung watched Bo slobber down Yuri and he realized he should go.
He threw his cup away and then walked out of the gym, through the corridor and outside. The fresh spring air hit his face and as he tried to think of a legal way to get home, he saw him.
"Hey." Jeongguk said as he stood there near his limo in his tux, black and white, classic. Although still one size too small for him, but it didn't matter cause he still managed to be gorgeous.
"Hey." Taehyung said quietly. His body moved closer to him almost involuntarily, like Jeongguk's had cast a spell or something. But there was no spell. Just gravity. The gravity of Taehyung's emotions pulling him towards a guy he shouldn't want. A guy once considered his best friend in the entire world.
"Can we talk?" Jeongguk's plea was almost as quiet as Taehyung's greeting. Taehyung should've said no. He could've and then just walked away. But he didn't want too. he had to be honest with himself and honestly he could forget about everything that happened between them if it meant being friends again. He nodded and Jeongguk opened the limo door for him, letting Taehyung in.
They drove in silence for a long time. Jeongguk didn't know what to say. Taehyung didn't know either. The driver had the partition up so they could have some privacy in the back but it's not like they needed it because well.. silence.
"Where's Mina?" The words came out jealous and Taehyung didn't care. He watched Jeongguk smile at him, then slowly he licked his lips. "I came alone. Turns out she was into someone else and I'm..." Jeongguk cut his own words off and stared at Taehyung. He ran his fingers through a soft lock of blond hair, and he watched Taehyung bite his lip at him. "I'm scared, Taehyung." It was the honest truth. He was scared. Scared of the unknown, scared of what could happen if they pursued this relationship. They could lose everything, including their friendship.
"I'm scared too." Taehyung admitted, stopping Jeongguk's hand from going any further into his hair. "But I want you." His own hands were shaky as he told Jeongguk the truth. "And I know you want me too because you kissed me first..." They looked at each other and he could see the admittance flash across Jeongguk's eyes. "You kissed me, Jeongguk. Not the other way around. And I know you're scared but if you want me.. you gotta say so or.."
"I want you." Jeongguk told him, cutting him off.
Best friends weren't supposed to look at each other the way they were looking at each other now. Scared. Happy. Terrified.
Best friends didn't touch like they were touching now. Soft, gentle, exploring.
Best friends weren't pulled into Jeongguk's lap like Taehyung was, and best friends sure as hell didn't kiss the way Jeongguk just kissed him. But this time was different though. His hands were all over Taehyung. Grabbing his ass, and squeezing it as they made out. This time he wasn't holding back. This time he was planning on driving Taehyung wild.
He never thought his first time would be in the back of a limo. Slacks on the floor, and riding Jeongguk's dick like it was some kind of porno. Actually, he pictured candles, and roses and admitting that they loved each other. But this.. this was just as good. Just as meaningful. It hurt like hell because they had no condom, prep or lube but it didn't matter because they needed each other right now.
Grunts and moans filled the back of the car as Taehyung locked his hips down on Jeongguk and that thick cock came inside of him. They kissed sloppily and decided to stay like that.. wrapped in each other's arms. They panted and came down from their high, with Taehyung's hands buried in Jeongguk's hair as they kissed, sweeter this time, making it last forever. Even if forever meant a few more minutes.
Your first time isn't supposed to be this good,
Taehyung thought. But it was. Just short of a bedroom, candles, roses and I love yous.. it was some kind of wonderful.
At seventeen you remember a lot of things. Family, friends, school, and your first love.
"Babe?" Jeongguk got out of bed to see Taehyung looking idly out of the window. He came up behind him wrapped him up in his arms, kissing the shell of his neck. "You okay?"
Taehyung turned his head and smiled at him, kissing his husband. "Yeah, just couldn't sleep that's all. Happy 10 year anniversary baby."
"Happy ten years to you too babe." A soft kiss, a hug and his love.
Things about his man since seventeen, that would always drive him wild.