Archive of Our Own ^beta

John: not typing like a professional author? Im so proud ;;

Ben: bc im in class what do u want

John: im boreed

Ben: thats not my problem

John: :,(

Ben: go bother someone else im busy

John: aw

John: but i wanna bother you

Ben: Sorry, just got out of school.

John: I missed you!

Ben: You don’t know even know me!

John: im lonely :,(

John: i kno u missed me 2

Ben: Not particularly.

Ben: So, John... I have a question.

John: knew u missed me ;)

Ben: How so?

John: u texted me first for once

Ben: That doesn't mean anything, I’m just curious.

John: y the sudden interest??

Ben: Shut up.

Ben: I need a distraction from my friend, who keeps babbling in my ear.

John: ask away lmao

Ben: If you’re so lonely why are you homeschooled? Can’t you just ask your parents to switch to a public school if you want it so bad?

John: well im currently living with foster parents

John: ive been in and out of foster homes so many times, so i figured whats the point? why get settled into a school and make friends when ur just gonna move the next day, u know?

Ben: Oh... I’m sorry, for bringing it up.

John: its alright im used to talking about it lol

Ben: I’m sorry that you’ve been through all of that.

John: its fine

John: huh

Ben: THAT WASN’T ME, IM SO SORRY!

Ben: MY FRIEND LESLIE TOOK MY PHONE, AND YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON IN MY CONTACTS AND HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO EMBARRASS ME. 

John: im the first person in yr contacts? Im honored

Ben: Don’t flatter yourself.

Ben: The only people in my contacts are my dad, Leslie and you. 

Ben: I realize that makes me sound a bit like a loser. 

John: if it makes u feel any better u already seemed like a loser to me <3

Ben: You’re such a charmer. 

John: at least he didnt text ur dad lmao

Ben: You have an excellent point there. 

Ben: If my dad ever got a message like that he would have personally strangled me with his bare hands. 

John: thats not good

Ben: No, it isn't. 

John: does leslie have a phone number or snap or something

Ben: Seriously?

John: Jealous?? ;3c

Ben: No.

Ben: Just surprised that anybody would want to willingly talk to him.

John: u do

Ben: Neither of us have any friends at school, I pity him.

John: u sound like a bond villian

Ben: YO WHATS POPPIN ITS LESLIE MY SNAPCHAT IS @lez.arzt AND TWITTER IS @spiderfucker

John: okay, just a sec

PROFILE

ARZT ☆

(@spiderfucker)

whaddup im leslie im gay & i like bugs, worm. 

Location: hell

___________________

ARZT ☆ (@spiderfucker)

@pacez ur music taste is trash

ARZT ☆ (@spiderfucker)

@BunnyBoy who the fuck still has caps in their username

 ARZT ☆ (@spiderfucker)

@BunnyBoy ur a twink & you know it.

ARZT ☆ (@spiderfucker)

@BunnyBoy Shut up, Twink. 

ARZT ☆ (@spiderfucker)

why do so many people hate bugs, bugs r good u fucking cowards

Ben: I’m sorry you had to deal with him.

Ben: HEY ITS LESLIE AGAIN. IF U WANT MY TUMBLR OR INSTAGRAM ITS STILL @spiderfucker

John: cool url

Ben: i know

Ben: you’d be surprised with what 8 legs can do

John: gross

Leslie: ur names john

Johnny: pls no

Leslie: Johnny Johnny

Johnny: yes papa

Leslie: eating sugar

Johnny: no papa

Leslie: telling lies

Johnny: no papa

Leslie: open ur mouth

Johnny: hahaha

Leslie: i cant believe you went along with that

Johnny: iconic 

John: benny boyyy

Ben: Hm?

John: no sarcastic remark about ur new nickname?

Ben: I’m too tired to come up with a witty remark. 

John: u know

John: we’ve been best friends

Ben: Debatable.

John: & i don't even know what you look like

Ben: Why should you?

John: i just wanna know what my best friend looks like :,(

Ben: I barely know you, you could be a predator. 

John: dude I’m 16

John: I’ll even send you a picture of me

John: [image attached]

Ben: Oh.

Ben: Your eyes are cool, and your hair looks soft. 

John: Come pet it ;)

Ben: Shut up.

Ben: What does your shirt say?

John: oh

John: it says you all everybody, its from this obscure band you’ve probably never heard of it

Ben: Driveshaft, right?

John: woah u know driveshaft??

Ben: Seriously? Charlie Pace and the rest of his crew goes to my school. They never shut up about their gigs. 

John: no fucking way, thats sick!

John: dude you should see if we could go to one of their gigs! Maybe we could meet up!

Ben: I’ll think about it, it’s not really my type of crowd. 

John: we should totally go! You need to loosen up a little

Ben: I said, I’ll think about it. I don’t know if my dad would approve. 

John: you always do what your daddy tells ya?

Ben: If you knew my dad, you would do the same thing. 

John: he sounds like a douchebag

John: no offense

Ben: None taken. Also, what happened to your nose?

John: wdym?

Ben: In the picture, your nose looks bruised.

John: oh

John: its not important.

John: && u still owe me a pic dont ya?

Ben: Fine, don’t laugh.

Ben: [image attached]

John: OMG

John: UR ADORABLE

John: UR MESSY HAIR IS SO CUTE,, MY HEART

Ben: Hush!

John: IS THAT A BUNNY??

Ben: Yeah.

John: THEY’RE SO CUTE, WHATS ITS NAME??

Ben: Her name is Snowball, I’ve had her since I was about nine. 

John: How did you get her??

Ben: A hunting trip.

John: please elaborate.

Ben: Okay, it’s a bit of a long story. 

John: I have all the time in the world.

Ben: Okay... So, I was about nine years old when my dad decided to take me on a hunting trip. While we were out in the middle of the woods, he got hammered and was trying to shoot a rabbit. I started bawling my eyes out and tried to convince my dad not to shoot her, I told him “It’s a white rabbit, wild rabbits aren't white! Somebody released it into the wild, it’s not hunting game.” He lowered his gun and basically told me to stop being a pussy. I walked up to the rabbit and she let me pick her up and everything without running off. Needless to say, that hunting trip was cut short. 

John: thats kind of adorable

John: and your dads an asshole

Ben: Tell me something I don’t know.