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Chapter Text

“Listen up fives, a ten is speaking.”

Kurt rolled his eyes as the first meeting of the Adam’s Apples for his sophomore year was called to order.  They were NYADA’s premiere a capella group. Well, currently the only a capella group, considering the unfortunate situation around the Clefhangers and their RICO charge last semester.  At an arts school like NYADA, another group would be popping up any minute now to take advantage of the smoldering rubble of the Clefhangers, but until then the Adam’s Apples were going to enjoy their default position at the top.  

Adam Crawford, the group’s leader, founder, and namesake, stood at the front of the room waiting for everyone’s attention.  And their laughter at his joke, which… was minimal and obligatory. He was still so attractive, Kurt mused as his eyes traced the lines of his jaw as Adam revelled in the attention of the group.  He was a ten. A solid ten. Kurt knew it last year when they got together after a drunken night episode at a bar after his freshman orientation campus tour. He thought it when Adam made an exception after that night to let Kurt audition for the Adam’s Apples as a mere freshman.  He thought it when they’d dated off and on throughout the rest of the school year.

He still thought it now that they were definitely off and Adam had replaced him with a shiny new freshman straight off the campus tour.

“With the demise of the Clefhangers, we have an automatic bid for the New York City Manhattan Song Slamfest City Competition this month,” Adam announced.  “Which, as we all know, is just the first step on our way to our long overdue national championship title.”

“Do we know who called the authorities on the Clefhangers?” one of the guys in the back asked.  “Like, did they really conspire to launder money through a Colombian coffee cartel?”

Adam waved it off.  “Unimportant. And it definitely wasn’t me who called the anonymous tip line.  But as I was saying, we may have an automatic bid since we don’t have to compete with the rest of NYADA, but that doesn’t mean we can rest on our laurels.  I have it on good authority that the Vocal Effects have a new secret weapon this year.”

Ugh, the Vocal Effects.  The male a capella super group from NYU.  Kurt wanted to spit just hearing their name.  Just because they had weren’t named after a guy in the group, had more than $300 in their treasury, and came with the prestige of a well-known university like NYU didn’t make them any better than the Adam’s Apples.  NYADA needed this win. NYADA needed this national championship.

Adam pulled up a picture on his phone and texted it to everyone in the group.  “This is Blaine Anderson. Freshman and apparently new secret weapon of Vocal Effects.”

Kurt ended up staring at the photo longer than he intended.  Oh, he was cute. Like, in that sort of non-threatening, probably brought your parents flowers when he came over for dinner after helping out at the old folks home kind of cute.  Not the same as the rugged handsome-ness of Adam, but… cute. Definitely cute.

“If we have any hope of making it all the way to a national championship and defeating Vocal Effects once and for all, we’re gonna have to take care of this guy.”  Adam crossed his arms and looked out over the group. “I’m not gonna lie. I want this. I want this bad. This is my senior year and I refuse to lose at nationals yet again.”

This was it.  This was the way to make Adam forget all about his new guy and come back to Kurt.  

Kurt would single-handedly get him that national championship.

“Just leave it to me,” Kurt announced.

Everyone turned to look, and Adam smiled as he asked, “And how do you plan to ensure that?”

It was simple really.  Nothing that a single-minded organizer motivated through the power of love, or at least lust, couldn’t handle.

“Easy,” Kurt replied.  “Sabotage.”

Chapter Text

Kurt adjusted the sleeves of his best ‘I’m not skulking around campus, I actually go here’ camo short sleeve button-up.  If he folded and tucked just right, it would highlight the biceps that he worked so hard to get. Gotta appreciate a mixture of a required stage fighting course and Adam unceremoniously dumping him over the summer after spending a week giving tours to incoming freshmen.  Also two months of revenge weightlifting back home at Lima Power Thrust, but that was neither here nor there. According to the intel he’d gathered, the Vocal Effects would be getting out of practice within a couple minutes. Kurt could slip into the room undetected and enact his devious scheme to sabotage the group and ensure that Adam got his national championship before he graduated.

He would steal the Vocal Effects’ setlist.

Without their setlist they would be lost.  The New York City Manhattan Song Slamfest City Competition was only two days away -- not enough to completely rework a setlist from scratch.  They’d be lost. They’d be frightened. They couldn’t cope, just couldn’t cope.

Dammit, now was not the time to get distracted by the sweet sweet melodies of Andrew Lloyd Webber.  Now was the time to take action. And maybe get your man back. But definitely take action. He slipped on his sunglasses and perfected his casual ‘I’m paying attention but not too much attention because I’m cool’ lean against a light pole.

He perked up once he spotted the Vocal Effects leaving the building.  He recognized a few of the guys from the competitions last year, and definitely recognized the sky-brightening smile from the guy Adam deemed the biggest threat.  Blaine Anderson. He looked even nicer in person. Like, the type of nice that would hold a door open for you and help you bring groceries up to your seventh floor walk up just because he saw you struggling kind of nice.  

With the guys gone, Kurt slipped into the building unnoticed.  He needed to figure out which room was their practice room.

...probably the one with the giant ‘Vocal Effects’ sign on the door.

Wasn’t that a surprisingly convenient stroke of good luck?

The door wasn’t locked -- yet another stroke of good luck -- and Kurt found himself in the middle of a room with a few dozen chairs, a piano, a white board, a bookcase full of trophies, and… nothing else.  There wasn’t a paper to be seen. Not a single binder lying around. Not even a gum wrapper with a note to look up the chorus to the unheralded classic ‘Call Me Maybe’.

Where the hell would they keep their setlist?

Then he saw it.  The notebook sitting under a chair off to the side.  It was almost too easy. He’d take the setlist and surely Adam would...

“Can I help you?”

Kurt whipped around.  Blaine Anderson was standing in the doorway, looking as sweet and lovable as apple pie at a country fair.  Only dressed better than a country fair. He looked as sweet and lovable as Prada shoes at Fashion Week. “Oh, hi, I, ah…”

“Practice just ended if you were looking for someone in Vocal Effects,” Blaine offered.  

“Sure, yeah, sorry…” Kurt stumbled.  Why was he stumbling, he was a better spy than that.  Channel your inner Jason Bourne. No, don’t do that, don’t throw yourself out a window.  Channel your inner Natasha Romanov. Yes, that’s more stealthy. “No, I think I had the wrong room.  Sorry. It’s been a long day. You know how it is.”

Blaine chuckled.  “Yeah, definitely.  I was just coming back for my notebook.  Been that kind of day.” He crossed the room as grabbed the notebook on the ground.  “I think I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached to my body.”

Dammit.  The setlist.  “Yeah, definitely want to keep that setlist close.”  

Blaine looked at him curiously.  “Nah, this is just my Intro to Italian notes.  Who would keep a setlist on paper nowadays?” he laughed.  “Sorry, I’m Blaine by the way.”

“Kurt.”  The setlist was digital.  Of course it was digital. It’s the 21st century.  Why would he think they would type it on a sheet of paper and only have that one sheet of paper.

“It’s nice to meet you, Kurt.  Well, I’ve gotta run to class. See you around.”

Kurt lifted up a hand to wave as Blaine exited the room.  

This was going to be more difficult than he thought.

Chapter Text

Kurt wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck to block out the late October chill as he walked through downtown.  He’d made no further progress in his attempts to beat Vocal Effects at their own game. His sabotage kept getting sabotaged.  Blaine and the Vocal Effects killed their set at the Manhattan competition, and with the New York State Acafestival a week away, they’d surely be ready to kill it at the state level too.  Not that the Adam’s Apples weren’t ready too. Their a capella blues rendition of ‘In Da Club’ was sure to wow the judges. Even if one of the prominent solos was given to stupid Jeremy, Adam’s current freshman flame.  Didn’t Adam see how much Kurt was trying to do to ensure he graduated with a national championship under his belt? Why couldn’t that get Kurt under Adam’s belt again?

“You look deep in thought.”

Kurt turned at the voice on the sidewalk and smiled.  Blaine Anderson. He’d recognize a voice that melted like honey over his very soul immediately.  “Hi. Yeah. Can’t help it. Deep in thought.” Way to sound like an idiot, Kurt.

Blaine just laughed.  “Sorry. I don’t know if you remember me.  We met a couple months ago. In the Vocal Effects room.  I didn’t mean to startle you, but… I just wanted to say hi.  You’re Kurt, right?”

“No! I definitely remember you.”  Because I was stalking your group.  “And yes, I’m Kurt. I heard you guys at the Manhattan festival.  You were excellent.”

“Oh really?  What were you doing there?”

Why does Blaine sound like he’s teasing?  Doesn’t matter. “Just went for the music,” Kurt covered.  Smooth. Very smooth. Blaine doesn’t suspect a thing. “I like the music.  And you were excellent. I’ve heard there’s another Acafestival up in Albany next week.”

“Yeah, we’re really excited.  Going up against some of the best guys from around the state.”

Kurt considered.  If he couldn’t steal the setlist and sabotage them that way… maybe he could flirt his way into getting them to change the setlist at the last minute.  No time to practice, no victory! Everyone knows that the only way a group is able to legitimately win a highly competitive competition is through diligent and methodical practice.  “I bet. Are you guys doing your same set?”

Blaine nodded.  “It’s good and we have it down to a science.”

“I don’t know…” Kurt trailed off, reaching up to playfully tuck a lock of hair behind his ears before he realized his hair wasn’t long enough to do that.  “I’ve always heard that judges really respond to the new and the different. And I saw this Ted talk where the guy, I think he was a brain scientist from UCLA or something impressive, was talking about how the human body thrives on the challenge of the unexpected.  Like, sure you can be okay if you practice like an Olympic athlete or something, but to really excel you should fly by the seat of your pants… like on America’s Got Talent and stuff. Maybe you guys should just, I dunno, ditch your set and try something new. For brain science.”

Blaine laughed again.  Dammit, he had such a nice laugh.  It was the type of laugh that made Kurt want to tell him a real joke and see just how long he could make that wonderful sound.  The type of genuine laugh that could soothe even the grumpiest of customers at a Starbucks that had run out of pumpkin spice mix.  

“It’s science,” Kurt tried again.

Blaine’s laugh trailed off but his smile remained.  “I’m sure it is. But I think I’m just a creature of habit and prefer good old fashioned practice.  Besides, I’m the newest guy in the group. If I came in there and suggested that we ditch the set, I think they’d ditch me.”

Of course, why would they listen to the new guy with a weird idea like that?  What made Kurt think that would work?

“Anyway, I’ve got a paper that isn’t gonna write itself,” Blaine continued.  “I’ll see you around campus.”

Kurt waved as Blaine continued down the street.  He was going to need to come up with something better than ‘flying by the seat of his pants’ if he was going to stop the kindness, no… talent…. The talent onslaught of Blaine Anderson and the Vocal Effects.

Chapter Text

Kurt stomped through the slushy December snow.  It was almost the end of the semester and he’d still had no luck in stopping the bullet train of talent that was Blaine Anderson and the Vocal Effects.  Sure the Adam’s Apples came in third at the New York Acafestival, ensuring their advancement to the Eastern Regional A Capella Slamplosion right before Christmas, but Vocal Effects was first place.  As always. And there was Blaine Anderson front and center side-stepping his way right into Kurt’s heart. No, his head. Blaine wasn’t in his heart. He wasn’t developing a crush on a singing dreamboat who when asked about his contributions to the group’s win reminded everyone that it was a team effort and he was just happy to be involved.  He absolutely wasn’t. This was just because Adam had moved, ugh, Jeremy , into his apartment a couple weeks ago.  Not that that was a real impediment to Adam coming back to Kurt.  Jeremy could be out in under 24 hours. Look at how quickly Kurt got out of Adam’s apartment when he got dumped at the end of last year.  Easy.

But what wasn’t going to be easy was figuring out a way to sabotage the Vocal Effects.  He knew the key was Blaine. He had to get Blaine out of the picture. That was mission number one.  And if he couldn’t get Blaine to sabotage his own set, he would just have to remove Blaine from the process.

Since Blaine seemed under the impression that Kurt was an NYU student, he’d taken the liberty of stopping by the Office of International Student Affairs before planting himself once again outside the building where Vocal Effects practiced.  This was foolproof. He’d thought everything through this time. He’d get Blaine out of the way and Adam would fall over himself in gratitude when Kurt handed him a national championship.

“Hey Kurt!”

Kurt looked up as Blaine walked past him.  Wow, he hadn’t realized it was already time for practice to let out.  “Hey Blaine. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Yeah, just got out of practice.  What are you doing standing outside like this.  It’s freezing.”

Kurt shrugged.  “Oh, I’m from Ohio.  This is nothing. I just thought I might run into you.”

“You’re from Ohio?”  Blaine got excited. “I’m from Ohio!  I grew up in Westerville.”

“Really?  Lima,” Kurt replied, genuinely surprised.  “I wouldn’t have pegged you for an Ohio boy.”

“I wouldn’t have thought you grew up anywhere other than here.  You just… have that cosmopolitan air about you.”

Kurt felt himself flush.  Was Blaine flirting with him?  This was good. This could work.  It was easy enough to flirt with Blaine, because who wouldn’t want to flirt with god’s perfect precious muffin who would probably give you the coat off his back in a snowstorm just because.  But if he was flirting back… why, this could work even better. “Thanks. I try. I was never a good fit for Ohio. My soul was always here in New York, it just took my body some time to catch up.”  Wait, no, don’t forget where you’re going with this. “But New York isn’t the only place my soul could fit.” Smooth save, Kurt. Smooth save. “I was thinking of studying abroad next semester. You know, Paris, London, Milan… so many other places to see, right?  Have you thought about studying abroad?”

Blaine pulled gloves out of his coat pocket.  The chill was getting worse the longer they stood there so of course Blaine would want to cover his beautiful hands.  “Yeah, of course. Who wouldn’t want to see the world?”

“You should go next semester,” Kurt said quickly.  “What better time than right now? You never know what next year will bring.  If you wait you might never go.” He pulled out a stack of tri-fold flyers from his bag.  “I was just in the office and grabbed some. You should definitely think about going.”

“Oh, are you studying abroad next semester?”

“Me?  Oh… I don’t know.  Probably,” Kurt stumbled.  “Yeah, I mean, I totally should.  Like I said, no time like the present.  I mean, who wouldn’t want to spend three months in sunny…”  He glanced at the top flyer. “Tanzania. I’ve always wanted to go to Tanzania.”

“Really?  What is it about Tanzania that got you interested?”

“They have… really good… food…”  Way to go, Kurt. The Black Widow would be proud of your spy skills.  “And I’m a really big fan of food.”

Blaine smiled.  Kurt felt warmer just looking at his smile.  “I think that’s as good a reason to go as any.”

“So, do you think you might go next semester?”

Blaine shook his head.  “I think my Mom would kill me if I tried to suggest I was leaving the country as a freshman.  Besides, I’m pretty sure the deposit was due a couple months ago.”

Dammit.  A deposit.  Of course a school program would need a deposit and prior planning.  Why did Kurt think otherwise?

“But,” Blaine continued, “since you’re such a big fan of food… I was thinking about grabbing some sushi before heading home to work on my music theory final.  Do you want to join me?”

Kurt froze, and not just because the wind seemed to have emerged from the arctic to blow straight against the back of his uncovered neck.  Blaine was asking him… on a date? “Yeah, I love sushi,” he said before thinking of it. But this could work. Blaine liked him. And he could get closer and figure out exactly how to get Blaine out of the way.  He could pretend to like Blaine for Adam and the Adam’s Apples. Not that that would be hard. Blaine was so likable. And cute. And kind.

“Great.  Let’s go before it starts snowing again.”  Blaine offered the gloves he’d pulled from his coat to Kurt.  “Here. Your hands look cold. Wouldn’t want you to get frostbite.”

Kurt took the gloves and fought back a blush.  But it wasn’t really a blush. It was just the rush of cold wind, of course.  He wasn’t falling for Blaine Anderson. Not at all. This was just an excuse to get closer and really discover his weakness and finally defeat the Vocal Effects.  

He absolutely was not falling for Blaine Anderson.

Chapter Text

Kurt was dying.  He was 100% dying and there was no other explanation.  He was at the end. The finish line of life. About to shuffle off this mortal coil and join the great a capella group in the sky.  Because if there actually was a heaven, it would be a stage and definitely not fluffy clouds full of winged babies. An eternity surrounded by babies flying around his head like mosquitos?  That would be the worst.

And that was something he was sure to find out soon.

He coughed again, sure that each jerk of his chest would be his last.  This was the end. There was no way that he could survive the six days until the US National A Capella 2018 Wall of Sound Championship.  No way. He’d made it all the way to the end of March with perfect health and now. Now he was going to die without ever winning a national championship.  

Well, this wasn’t his last chance to win.  He was only a sophomore. But it was Adam’s last chance to win.  And he’d been dropping hints for months referencing Kurt’s promise to finally take down Vocal Effects.  Not so much hints as, “When are you gonna get Blaine Anderson out of the way?” and “Hey Kurt, have you guaranteed me my win yet?” and “I’d spend a lot less time with Jeremy if I had a national trophy on my mantel and the chance to share it with you”.  He was running out of time to get Adam his win, and to get Adam himself. Even if Adam was being a jerk. And being a jerk to Jeremy. Jeremy was actually kind of nice. Sweet guy, from Delaware, hopefully realized he was gonna get dumped as soon as Adam won.

Ugh, did Kurt actually want a guy back who would ditch a sweet guy like Jeremy for a trophy?

...of course he did.  That was the whole impetus for the plan.  That’s why he’d been skulking around NYU all of last semester.  And why he’d accepted Blaine’s dinner invite. And why they’d been spending so much time together.

Of course, it wasn’t like he and Blaine were actually dating.  They just spent most of their free time together. And went to dinner when they were both free.  And watched pirated movies that his roommate was so good at finding. And sure, it took him another month to admit to Blaine that he actually went to NYADA, but Blaine was fine with that.  Honestly, he brushed it off like NYADA wasn’t even a real school, but that’s neither here nor there. Blaine didn’t see the threat Kurt posed. He was completely in the dark. He was like Snow White and Kurt was the evil stepmother…

...wait, why was he assuming that being the evil stepmother in this scenario was a good thing?

He coughed again and felt himself lurch closer to death’s doorway.  

If he was going to go down before Nationals… there was one play that might still work.  

He grabbed for his phone, missing it twice before finally wrapping his fingers around it.  Damn depth perception. He tried to text but the letters were coming out in a jumble. “Siri, call Blaine,” he croaked.

“ Hello?”

“Blaine,” Kurt groaned.  “Can you bring me soup?”

“ Are… Kurt you sound like death. ”

“I’m dying and I want soup.  Can you bring me soup?” Yes, Blaine, can you come into this house of death?  And also soup.

“ Sure.  I have to submit my homework first but I can be at your place in… 30 minutes? ”

“With soup,” Kurt repeated.  He wasn’t sure if he mentioned that before.  He really did want soup. And Blaine over. In this house of death.

“ With soup.  I’ll be over there as soon as I can. ”

Kurt dropped his phone on the floor as Blaine hung up.  It was diabolical and fool proof. Blaine would walk into this house of death.  He would catch this crud and no longer be able to sing. And without Blaine, Vocal Effects would be ruined.  And also soup. Cause soup sounded really good. He’d just rest his eyes for a few minutes…

...because a few minutes was all he needed.  He opened his eyes and saw Blaine sitting at his kitchen table typing away on his laptop.  “Blaine?”

“Hey.”  Blaine closed his laptop and smiled.  Oh, that smiled made Kurt’s chest feel warm.  How did Blaine get such a nice smile? “I let myself in and you were dead to the world so I put the soup in the fridge.  You want me to warm it up for you?”

“How… did you get in?”  Kurt was groggy. All he could seem to think of was how happy he was that Blaine was here.  That’s not what he should focus on.

“You gave me a key a few weeks back, remember?”  Blaine moved from the table to sit on the edge of the couch with Kurt.  “When my roommate was having that awful breakup and I needed somewhere to crash?  You never asked for it back, so I just kept it. Is that okay?”

Kurt nodded.  “Of course. You’re always welcome here.  I like having you around.”

“I like having you around too.”

“But how did you get in?”

Blaine reached over and placed a hand on Kurt’s forehead.  “Yeah, you’re burning up. Did you go to campus health and get a z-pack or something?  Does NYADA have a campus health?”

“We’re a real school,” Kurt insisted, although the words sounded totally false coming out of his mouth right now.  “And yes, I have pills in the bathroom. I’m not due to take more until 5.”

“Well, it’s 6:30, so I’m gonna get you your next dose.”

Kurt watched Blaine duck into the bathroom and couldn’t help but smile.  Blaine was such a great guy. Such a great guy. Too bad he was the mission.  Mission like the Black Widow. Kurt was a spy that was going to finally succeed in taking down this sweet, kind, gorgeous, lovable, talented guy who wanted nothing more than to spend time with him and take care of him when he’s sick and send funny memes to throughout his history class.  That would show him. That would show Adam too. Kurt was a spy. He was gonna sabotage this guy right in the kisser.

He wondered what Blaine’s kisser tasted like?  Probably honey. Blaine probably tasted like honey.

“Well, I don’t know how I taste, but you should taste these,” Blaine responded, offering Kurt his pills and a glass of water.  “Sit up, I don’t want you to choke.”

Kurt let Blaine wrap his arms around him and pull him up into a sitting position.  “What did you say about taste?”

Blaine just laughed.  “Don’t worry about it.  I think the fever is making you say things you’re not gonna remember.”

Kurt took the pills dutifully and swallowed the full glass of water.  Blaine definitely probably definitely tasted like honey. He’d probably kiss him if Blaine asked.  Just to keep him unsuspicious. Was that a word? Unsuspicious? Totally a word. Time to go in for the kill.

Kurt coughed, but ducked his head onto Blaine’s neck instead of covering his mouth.  “Oh, sorry,” Kurt mumbled. “I’m probably gonna get you sick. That would be terrible.  Then you couldn’t compete.”

“Don’t worry about it -- I had a cough a couple of weeks ago.  It’s definitely a crud that’s going around. I don’t think I’ll catch it.”

“You won’t?”  Kurt tried to lift his head in frustration that yet another plan was thwarted, but it was too much effort.  Much more comfortable just to drop his head onto Blaine’s shoulder. And accidentally nuzzle next to his neck.  His neck was so soft. How could someone with such a soft neck keep evading Kurt’s brilliant plans?

“I’ll be fine.  You should focus on you getting better.  Here, lay down and I’ll go warm up the soup.”

Kurt let himself be folded back down flat onto the couch and cursed silently as Blaine stepped away.  How was he supposed to successfully get him sick and thwart the rise of Vocal Effects if Blaine was all the way in the kitchen lovingly making him soup?  It would be much better if he was back on the couch, close enough to sabotage. Better yet, get close enough to cuddle. Put his arms around Kurt and let Kurt use him as a pillow.  That would be close enough. Then he’d really show him. He’d really trip him up something good. Really get him out of the way so he could get back together with… what’s his name…

He just needed a few more minutes to come up with a really, definitely foolproof plan.  Just a few minutes. He’d close his eyes and really come up with a foolproof…

Chapter Text

Nationals.  

Everything they’d been working toward.  Here. Now. St. Louis was buzzing with the anticipation of who would finally be crowned the US college a capella champions.  Well, maybe the whole city wasn’t buzzing with anticipation. But what else could St. Louis buzz about? This had to be the highlight of the entire year in Missouri.

Kurt popped a cough drop into his mouth as the Adam’s Apples finished filling out their registration paperwork.  He’d returned to full form a couple days ago, which wasn’t a moment too soon. Their grand finale was highlighted with a Kurt solo that was sure to bring the house down.  It was part of the winning strategy to finally, finally take down Vocal Effects as national champions.  If Kurt couldn’t get Blaine out of the competition, he would just wow the judges with his voice.

Which, now that he thought about it, was what the competition was actually supposed to be about.  Good singing. Why did he think he’d need to sabotage the competition when he could just out-sing them?

He caught Blaine waving at him from the corner of his eye.  Oh no. Blaine knew he was here. He’d told Blaine he wasn’t an NYU student a while ago, but had never found the right moment to tell him that he wasn’t just a NYADA student, but an Adam’s Apple to boot.  His sworn enemy. He would finally discover Kurt’s grand plan. He would think that all of the time they’d spent together was a ruse. Which… which of course it was. But was it really? Kurt didn’t want Blaine to think he was only spending time with him to sabotage him.  And he would never actually use the word sabotage. Even if that was the plan all along. What a horrible plan. Why would he do something like that? He glanced over at Adam, who winked at him, and then turned back to Blaine.

“Hey, Kurt, glad you guys made it,” Blaine said brightly.  

“Blaine, look, I need to explain…”

“Blaine, we’re on in twenty,” said one of the guys in a Vocal Effects blazer.

Blaine nodded.  “Yeah, hey I’ll catch up with you guys I just need a second.  We’re in Green Room C?”

“Yep, we’ll see you there.  Don’t be late.”

“I won’t.”  Blaine turned and smiled again at Kurt.  “Sorry… what were you saying?”

Kurt felt his heart drop.  How was he supposed to shatter the ideals behind Blaine’s beautiful Bambi eyes?  He was going to crush him. But… that was the best kind of sabotage, right? He was going to destroy Blaine, and then he’d go on, and be too upset to sing and he’d flub everything and Vocal Effects couldn’t come back from it.  That was a brilliant plan. He should do it. He should do it. He…

He couldn’t do it.

“I’m sorry, Blaine, I lied.  I don’t know why I did it.”

Blaine, for his part, looked utterly confused.  “Lied about what?”

Kurt thought his heart was going to break standing there.  He grabbed Blaine’s hand and pulled him down a hallway into an empty office off the corridor.  With the door closed behind him and he took a deep breath. “I know you must be wondering why I’m here.”

“...no?”

“What?”

“I mean, I know why you’re here.  NYADA qualified for nationals, so you’re here to compete with the Adam’s Apples.  What, were you guys thinking about not coming?”

Kurt’s mouth dropped.  “Wait, how did you know I’m a member of the Adam’s Apples?”

Blaine just stared at Kurt.  “What do you mean? Did you think I didn’t know you were an Adam’s Apple?  Kurt, we’ve been at competitions together all year. I’ve waved at you.”

“No, but you didn’t see me,” Kurt tried.  “I hid behind taller guys.”

“You’re not short,” Blaine laughed.  “Of course I saw you. And you’re not the type of guy who goes unnoticed.  I always notice you when you’re around.”

Before Kurt could respond -- why was his heart so light at the idea that Blaine had seen him all year -- the door opened and Adam’s head popped in.  “Oh Kurt, here you are.”

“Yeah, I know, we’re about to go on, I’ll be there in a --”

The door slammed shut and Kurt heard a fiddle with the doorknob.  “Hey! Adam! What…” He tried the door, but it was locked. “Adam!  Turn the knob, you accidentally locked me in.”

“You did it, Kurt!” Adam called back.  “You finally got him out of the way! I’m forever grateful!”

“Unlock this door right this minute!” Kurt yelled.  “I have a solo!”

“Yeah… I’m gonna sing that.  It’ll sound better in my register anyway.  Thanks so much Kurt, way to take one for the team, we can definitely have sex once I get the trophy.  I’ll come get you out once the show is over.”

Kurt continued to bang on the door but it was no use.  “Let me out of here you fucking creep!” But there was no one listening.  No one, except for Blaine. “Blaine, I can explain,” he murmured.

“I… think your group captain is a dick who wanted your solo,” Blaine replied.

“Yeah.  Yeah, looks like it.”

“What did he mean by you finally got me out of the way?”

Kurt shoulders slumped.  “We knew that you were the guy to beat on Vocal Effects this year and I thought… if we got you out of the way, we could win nationals.  And if we won’t nationals, Adam would want to date me again.”

“You went out with that creep?”

Kurt shrugged.  “Yeah… yeah I did.  Last year. Which, now that I think about it, he dumped the guy he was dating before me for me as soon as I got to campus.  And then he did the same thing to me to get with the guy he’s currently sleeping with. Ugh, he really is a creep.”

“A creep who likes to date freshmen guys who don’t know any better?”

“Oh my god.”  Kurt was furious now.  “What a fucking creep.”  He took a deep breath. “Why aren’t you mad?”

Blaine shrugged.  “Because… I’ve known what you were doing since October?” he said sheepishly.

“...what?”

“When you showed up in the practice room I googled you, and you popped up on one of the show choir blogs,” Blaine explained.  “A guy named Kurt on the Adam’s Apples who looked like you so I figured… you were coming to size up the competition. And then you tried to get to go to Tanzania in the middle of the school year and… well, it wasn’t hard to figure out,” he chuckled.  “But you were hot and I liked running into you.”

“So you… you knew who I was when you asked me out?”

“Yeah.”

It was Kurt’s turn to look confused.  “But if you knew, why didn’t you say anything?”

“I mean, I didn’t know there was a plan to use me to get back at your ex-boyfriend…”

“...he wasn’t really my boyfriend, we just had sex and lived together and spent all our time together…”

“...but I knew you were trying to get info on the group.  And you’re a terrible liar so it was kind of funny watching you try to cover it up.”

“I am an excellent spy…”

“And then we got sushi and you have the best commentary on everything and I just wanted to spend more time with you.  I figured you’d tell me when you were ready and done with the charade.”

Kurt’s breath caught in his throat as Blaine reached over and took his hand.  “Why didn’t you… I mean, if you knew… why didn’t you say anything?”

Blaine was quiet for a moment.  “If I said something, I was afraid you’d go away.  And I wanted you in my life. Even if you were doing a really bad James Bond impression.”

Kurt heart was shattered and rebuilt at the same time.  “Black Widow, but still…” Blaine knew it all along. Blaine didn’t care if he was trying to spy his way around a competition.  Blaine didn’t care about the competition.

Blaine only wanted him .

Kurt pressed Blaine up against the wall and kissed him before he realized what was going on.  He was right -- Blaine tasted like honey. Honey and sweetness and warmth and kindness and not at all like the kind of person who’d lock their ex in an office in an attempt to steal a solo at a national competition.  

The competition.

Kurt pulled back with a start, ignoring how swollen Blaine’s lips were and how mussed his hair was now.  “Blaine… the competition. You always sing a solo. We have to get you out before Vocal Effects go on. It’ll ruin your set.”

“I’m not singing a solo here,” Blaine said, trying to catch his breath.  He shrugged at Kurt’s confusion. “We gave the solos to the seniors.”

“But you’re the best guy they have.  Why would you do that?”

“Because it’s their last year.  They deserve to have the spotlight.  I have next year.”

“So… we don’t need to…”

Blaine pulled Kurt back into his kiss, and Kurt figured someone would find them and let them out eventually.  

Chapter Text

Kurt adjusted the sleeves of his best ‘I’m not skulking around campus, I’m waiting for my boyfriend’ camo short sleeve button-up.  He leaned against their light pole as he tried to look casual and not like he hadn’t seen Blaine in almost two months. Nationals was too close to the end of the school year to get much time together once he’d finally come clean about his plot, and then Blaine turned around and spent the summer with his brother out in LA.  But classes were back on and Blaine was back in New York again. And Kurt, well, Kurt was… here.

Everyone was where they should be.

He waited another twenty minutes until Blaine emerged from the building with a few of his Vocal Effects teammates.  Kurt’s heart leaped up into his throat when Blaine caught sight of him, and he thought he might just burst when that sweet sweet smile got even brighter as he told his friends he’d catch up with them later.  How could he have ever thought this was a guy he’d want to sabotage? How could anyone want to make Blaine sad? It was like… mowing down a field of wildflowers or kicking a puppy.

“You’re back!” Blaine exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Kurt and squeezing him tight before going in for a kiss.  “I thought you weren’t getting back to town until tomorrow.”

“I had an earlier flight,” Kurt answered.  “So, was that… Vocal Effects practice?”

Blaine nodded.  “Yeah, just getting ready for auditions next week.  Gotta see if we can trick anyone new into joining since a whole bunch of guys graduated.  But a national trophy always helps the recruiting process. Why, you know anyone who might be interested?”

“I might,” Kurt said with a shrug.  “Perhaps a transfer student who’s looking for ways to get involved.”

“A transfer student?”

Kurt reached into his pocket and flashed a NYU student ID.

Blaine sucked in a breath.  “Did you… did you transfer for me ?”

“Not really.  Turns out that NYADA wasn’t actually certified as a school as much as a multi-level marketing educational scheme, and they got caught when they tried to enlist us all to sell protein shakes over the summer,” Kurt explained.  “It was a whole thing, but it meant that I needed to find somewhere new to go and…” He trailed off with a grin.

“Kurt.”

“Do you think Vocal Effects could use a countertenor?”

Blaine leaned over to kiss Kurt again.  “I think anyone would be lucky to have Kurt Hummel.  I won’t even try to sabotage your audition to keep you out so I can keep all the solos.”

Kurt groaned and dropped his head back against the pole.  “I’m never gonna live that down, am I?”

“Nope.”