Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In an odd warped battlefield a lone inkling lands gracefully onto the spawn point. His orange tentacles bobbed with the landing. He looked up to see the Great Zapfish hovering directly in front of him; awaiting him. He calmly scanned the area around him before proceeding.

“Stay back Agent 3! It’s a trap!” said the familiar elderly man. The inkling boy known as Agent 3 directed his gaze towards the man. It’s Cap’n Cuttlefish, he’s tied to a chair on top of some weird floaty ball thing. Agent 3 frowns a bit as two voices ring through his headphones.

“Figures…” Agent 1 says.

“But we don’t have a choice!” says Agent 2.

Agent 3 lets out a long sigh and proceeds to the zapfish. As soon as he got close to it, a green light shines down and promptly sucks the fish up into it, with a loud rattling noise. After a few seconds a big spaceship thing floats down in front of the kid. Inside, is a giant octopus with two of its tentacles crossed over his chest. Agent 3 looked up at him with a bored expression as a daunting tune plays to the entrance of the octopus. Suddenly the octopus whips out two wasabi sticks and slams them on the turntables in front of him as another noise plays. The octopus starts scratching on his records making a nice beat and bobbing his head to it.

“Gyah ha ha! I’ma remix your face!” he snarls

“I’m. so. scared.” Agent 3 flatly said as he readies himself for the oncoming battle.

The octopus’s ship starts firing missiles towards the inkling, this unphases the little agent as he shoots down the missiles and pushes the spaceship back with his approach. The Dj octopus resorts to shooting big fist missiles instead to try to squish the inkling, but to no avail. Agent 3 swiftly dodges the first fist, but then shoots the second one sending it back at the Dj, punching him in his own face.

“Ghaaargh!!!!” He screeched. As his whole spaceship flips upside down. “Slimy little hipster!” He spats as he flies over to another part of the battlefield. Agent 3 watches his attempt to flee and squid jumps.

“After him!” Agent 1 squeaked into his headphones.

“Right!” Agent 3 pursued his target and the battle continued. Unbeknownst to the hero someone was watching them. Near the end of the track of the battle, three Octolings were lurking by awaiting a chance to strike at the little inkling to aid their master in the battle.

“Ready your positions!” A taller dark looking octoling ordered the two smaller ones. She had black tentacles that were dyed pink at the ends and was wearing the normal octoling attire. A black tank top with metal plates on the chest as armor. With black shorts and some metal plated goggles. She carried around her octoshot on her back. “We must ambush this little pest and rid the squids of our domain!” At her command the first smaller octoling nodded and jumped over to another floating tentacle pedestal in the arena her tentacles are all red and curl up at the ends. The last octoling closely watched the battle between the agent and Octavia. Her blue tentacles flowed down her head. She frowned at how easily the inkling is handling the boss. The missiles, the octarians, even the killer wail has no effect on this kid.

“How is he this good?” She questioned. “I mean, Octavia is giving it everything he has and this kids brushing it off like it’s nothing?” The taller Octoling shook her head, her tentacles flapping from side to side.

“I don’t know junior, but follow my instructions for now and we’ll show that squid that were not to be taken lightly.” She clenched her fist and scowled down at the inkling. The younger Octo nodded.

“Yes, Captain Iida!” she saluted and jumped to a nearby tentacle pedestal, awaiting her next order.

As the battle between Agent 3 and Dj Octavia continued, they slowly got closer and closer to the three Octolings.

“Do you even know who you’re messing with!?” yelled the giant Octo. Agent 3 didn't reply and instead shot another fist back into his face and leapt after him onto the final set of platforms. As he went in for his landing however a huge missile with sunglasses on suddenly appeared and slammed into him before he could gather his bearings.

“Augh!!” He yipped as it knocked him flat on his back, shattering his armor.

“Agent Three!!” squealed the two other agents.

“GYAAHAHAHA! How do you like that squiddo!” cackled Octavia.

“Dirty...trick Dj…” Agent 3 muttered as he got back to his feet. He prepared to fire back at the Octopus, but realized his Hero Shot was gone. Panicking slightly he quickly searched for it dodging the new barrage of missiles.

“Three behind you! Your weapon I mean!” Said the second voice through his headphones. The inkling looked behind himself and quickly sped over to his weapon. He dove for it, but was stopped by a sudden foot on top of it.

“Is this what you're looking for?” said the new presence. Agent 3 looked up into the eyes of the Octoling Captain. She saw a perfect opportunity and took it. The other two Octolings joined their Captain on the battlefield, surrounding the little agent. He quickly got to his feet and put up a guard.

“Oh no!” Agent 2 nervously said.

“Get out of there Agent 3! They’re all gonna fire on you!” Agent 1 hollered into the mic making Three flinch from the sudden volume. He started searching for an escape route, but couldn't find one as the octolings slowly close in on him.

“Ha! Not so tough now little squid. You got nothing without your little weapon huh?” Said the Captain as she picked up the Hero Shot and spun it on her finger. She smirked at the Agent. He frowned back at her.

“You guys are just full of little tricks today huh…” He huffed. Then he adjusted his headphones and spoke into them. “One, Two I’m trapped there’s no way to get around them.” Then he took a quick glance behind him. Almost forgetting about Dj Octavia. “And that guys an even bigger problem.”

“Gyahaha! How about that! Aren’t my comrades so loyal to me! I commend you on your interference Captain Iida! You will be rewarded greatly when this is over!” Octavia cackled. In response Iida bowed.

“Anything for you Dj. Now Octo’s! AIM!” she held up her arm, ordering the smaller Octolings. They point their guns at Agent 3 ready to fire on command.

“I really need an out here guys!” Agent 3 yelled into his mic. He quickly put up a Bubbler to protect himself from the oncoming attack.

“Hang on Three we got you!” Agent 1 yelled back.

Suddenly a familiar song kicked in and knocked out the Dj’s tune.

“W-What’s this?” He shouted as he tried to scratch on his disk, but nothing was happening and the new song continued. “Where mah beats?!” The new song blared through the whole battle arena. Quickly catching everyone's attention. The three Octolings looked around in confusion.

“W-what’s happening?” asked the blue haired Octo as she frantically searched for the source of the song.

“?gons ruo raeh uoy nac !3 tnegA” Agent 1 excitedly said.

“Y-yea!” he replied. His bubbler slowly faded away as he returned to his calm state. “How did you…?”

“Radio Override activated!” Agent 2 announced.

Back on the floaty ball, the Cap’n managed to break free of his restraints and start dancing.

“That heavenly melody… It’s the one and only Squid Sisters!!!” He cheered. Agent 3’s jaw dropped at the realization.

“T-the squid sisters...You mean.. Callie and Marie?” he stuttered

“Don’t you ever worry your granddaughters like that again!” Shouted Callie.

“G-Granddaughters!?” Agent 3 fell backwards at the conversation that was transpiring. Not only has he been talking, and arguing with The Squid sisters this whole time, but they're also the granddaughters of the old man who dragged him into all of this.

“Agent 3! Take care of Gramps for us. Kay?” Marie said. Agent 3 shook his head then stood back up.

“Wait a minute don’t I get an explanation first! You could have told me that you guys were the Squid sisters!” He started flailing his arms in agitation.

“No time right now!” Marie quickly countered.

“We’ll explain everything when you finally kick this goons butt!” Callie shouts. Agent 3 frowns, but agrees. He doesn't really have the time to question the girls in this predicament he’s in right now. First on his list is to get his weapon back. He glanced back at Octavia to make sure he could get away with getting his weapon. The Dj is blissfully dancing to the new song. Completely ignoring his surroundings.

“Perfect.” Agent 3 turned his attention back to the Octolings who were also trying to restrain themselves from dancing. However, one in particular wasn’t moving at all.. Captain Iida had her head down and stood still. Agent 3 slowly approached her to take his Hero shot back, but before he could get it Iida suddenly moved.

“...T-this changes everything!” She shouted as she dropped both the hero shot and her Octo shot and ran past Agent 3. She turned into an octopus and super jumped off the stage, vanishing from sight. Agent 3 snatched his hero shot from the ground and aimed at the other two Octolings. The red one noticed and ran over to the blue haired Octo and grabbed her wrist.

“Change of plans, Ara! Let’s go!”

“W-wait!!” The blue haired one shouted as the red octoling grabbed her and super jumped away. Agent 3 watched them leave, then turned his attention back to Octavia.

“Alright 3, all that’s left is the Boss! Final push! Chaaarge!!” Callie gleefully shouted. At Callie’s shout Octavia finally noticed his henchmen dipped and growled at the little squid.

“How dare you!” He began his assault again, but even faster as he sent two fist at the Agent along with five missiles at a time and the Killer Wail.

“As they say-sometimes the best offense...is running for your life!” Marie yelled into the mic. Agent 3 took her advice and quickly swam away from the wail with his refound strength from the Squid sisters latest hit. Then he sent both the fist back at Octavia to push him back again and jumped into an inkrail to follow suit.

“Just a little farther, Agent 3!” The Cap’n shouted upon seeing the Agent. Agent 3 smiled at the thought of almost being done.

“I’ma dubstomp you into Oblivion!” Octavia screeched in desperation as he’s been pushed back into a corner. He begins to fire another one of those big missiles with the sunglasses on at the Agent.

“Bring it old man!” Agent 3, fired up and now ready to actually return the missile, volleyed it right back at Octavia. It knocked him out of his spaceship and into the air.

“Now! Finish Him!” Called the Cap’n

“Right!” Agent 3 replied as he threw a burst bomb directly into the cephalopod’s face sending him flying right back into his spaceship.

“Oh no… So sad…” The Dj mumbled to no one in particular. “Cross-fade to black….” He says as his spaceship flew backwards and exploded into a huge ball of purple, orange and pink ink. Agent 3 just watched as the ink slammed onto everything around him and drooped down into nothing. He let out a sigh of relief as the Great zapfish is now floating where the spaceships was, completely unharmed.

“You did it sonny!!!” Cried the Cap’n in glee as he jumped up and down.

“Great job Three! I’m so proud of you!” Callie also cried. Agent 3 blushed and rubbed the back of his head.

“It was nothing…” he shrugged.

“Aw who would have thought that Agent 3 was bashful?” Marie said in a mocking tone.
“After all that arguing with us through the last few stages…” She sourly added on. Agent 3 flinched at her tone. Callie chimed in real quick as to not start another argument.

“Hey Marie, take it easy on him. I’m sure it was just stress. We were kinda asking a lot from him since the beginning.”

“Y-yea… sorry about that.” Three quickly added on. Marie sighed.
“Apology accepted. Why don’t you grab the Great Zapfish and our Gramps and get out of there.” Agent 3 nodded and went to touch the fish. On contact the fish shined brightly and vanished into thin area. Agent 3 furrowed his brow in confusion.

“Wha?”

“Don’t worry sonny! He just teleported back to inkopolis plaza, so you won’t have to lug him all the way there.” The Cap’n cut him off, then jumped over to the Agent. “Now lets be on our way.” Before Agent 3 could even take a step a sudden shadow appeared and rushed at him. Knocking them both off the stage.

“Agent 3!!!” Everyone yelled. The inkling tried to pry off his attacker and kicked them away. He landed roughly on a ufo several feet under the main stage, and slammed his head on it knocking off his headphones.

“Owww…” He slowly sat up and rubbed his head. He looked around for the person that just tackled him. “What did I just get hit by… A truck?” He got to his feet and walked towards his weapon he managed to drop again.

“HEY, YOU! THE LITTLE AGENT THAT TOOK DOWN OUR WHOLE ARMY!” a sudden voice started hollering. Agent 3 quickly put his guard up and searched for the owner of the voice. “DOWN HERE!” It called. He looked over the edge of the Ufo he was on and saw a lone Octoling glaring back up at him. It was the blue tentacled one from earlier. “YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST STRUT IN HERE AND TAKE DOWN ALL MY BRETHREN LIKE THAT AND LEAVE!!! HOW ABOUT NO!” She pulled out her Octoshot and readied for battle, pulling down her goggles over her eyes. “COME DOWN HERE AND FIGHT ME ONE ON ONE! MONO ON MONO! OCTO VS SQUID!!” She pointed her gun at Agent 3 in a very challenging way. In response the inkling just furrowed his brow at her and frowned.

“And what if I say no… I could easily jump back to the surface and leave you here to rot.” He retaliated. The Octoling just smirked at him.

“Then I guess you’re only half the man I thought you to be! Guess we finally know that your just a kid!” Agent 3 scowled at her and without another word backflipped off the Ufo and onto her playing field. On his way down he flipped a switch on his ink tank and whipped out an Inkzooka and fired at her, trying to finish this little “battle” quickly. To his surprise the Octoling actually dodged out of the way. Normally they just stand there and take it or look the other way and don't even notice his approach. “That all you got!” She yelled as she ran around, dodging every single one of his tornado attacks. His special ran out and he went back to using his normal Hero shot. He decided to just rush her and take her out the normal way, but again the Octoling dodged him, and to add on to the problem she managed to get a hit on him.

“Ok! No more mister nice guy.” Agent 3 growled.

“Oh! I finally got your attention, huh?” She climbed to the top of one of the pedestals in the arena they’re in and started shooting at the kid wherever he went. Agent 3 tossed a bomb on the pedestal, causing the octoling to leap off of it to avoid the blast. As she leaped she shot at Agent 3 again and hit him directly in the chest, knocking him onto his butt. Immediately the Octo rushed him to deal the final blow, but Agent 3 dropped another bomb and watched as the Octo ran right into it face first. It sent her flying backwards making her armor break off and smoke a little. Agent 3 frowned at the sight.

“Of course you’re wearing armor…” he sighed. Agent 3 gets back to his feet and walks over to the Octo, now sprawled out on the floor. As he approached she sat up and searched for her gun. It’s on the other side of the arena. She tried to make a dash for it, but because her armor broke off she’s super slow. Agent 3 held his gun to her face. “Any last words…” The Octoling looked him in the eyes and smiled.

“What??? Your not gonna compliment me on my battle skills?” She questioned.

“Sure. You weren’t a bore to fight.” He flatly said as he pulled the trigger to his Hero shot. Right before she was hit the Octoling threw a bomb at the Agents head knocking him to the ground. The bomb went off simultaneously as the shot from the Hero shot smacked her in the chest splatting the both of them, rendering them unconscious since they didn't have a respawn point to go back to.

The Squid Sisters music died out and an ominous silence passed over the arena. The red tentacled Octoling returned to the scene to find her runaway partner. She found the blue tentacled Octoling out cold next to the orange haired inkling and jumped towards them. She quickly scooped up her partner and scowled at the inkling and jumped away. The Cap’n looked over the edge of the stage he was on and saw the unconscious agent.

“Girls? Your grandpapi is gonna need some help lugging three back home…”

Chapter Text

Pale summer moonlight shimmers on the seafloor. An octopus, unaware that dawn will bring capture. Rests within a trap, dreaming fleeting dreams…

A familiar tune can be heard, but where is it coming from. You hum along to it trying to remember, but nothing.

“Ahoy! Octoling!” A sudden voice yelled in my ear. I jumped at the sound and slowly opened my eyes.

“h..Huh? WHA!?” I’m fully awakened to the sight of two big beeding eyes staring directly at me.

“Up and at ‘em, ya lazy whiffle-whaffle!” The old man that is too close for comfort said. “This fight ain't over! Prepare for a royal whoopin’!” He hollered at me. I stayed silent and just stared back at him. “Hmmm… But there's no honor in defeating an unarmed opponent… and you seem to have lost your weapon somewhere around here.”

The old man looked away from me and around the surrounding area. Then he turned back to me shoving his face back into my personal bubble. “And where is..here..anyway?” I blinked in response. Still dumbfounded by this man. “Last thing I remember, you were battling my protege, Agent 3, in Octo Valley…when both of you were suddenly attacked by someone.” I raised an eyebrow at him.

Agent 3? Octo Valley? What are those or them…? Who? What in the world is this old guy talking about?

“And somehow we got marooned here… So, uh… hows about we call a temporary truce while we find a way to escape?” He questioned. I just nodded carefully, still confused about the whole situation. The man, still hunched over me began to talk again. “Oh! Where are my manners… I haven't even told you my name! I’m Cap’n Cuttlefish, leader of the legendary New Squidbeak Splatoon! And you are..?” He waited for my answer. I opened my mouth to say something, but stopped.

Actually...What is my name…? I go into deep thought searching through my memories, but I realize there's nothing…. I don't remember anything about myself. I widen my eyes in shock at this realization. “W-who am I?”

“Psst.” The man caught my attention again. “This is the part where you tell me your name.” He whispered at me. I shook my head and sat up. Causing the man to move away from my face. Thank God

“Uh… I’m sorry, but I don't remember…” I moved my hand to the back of my head and rubbed it. There is a medium sized bump there.

“By kracken...You lost your memory!?” He shouted. I nodded solemnly. “You can’t remember anything about yourself? Nothing at all!?” I brought my hand to my forehead and shook my head.

“Nothing.” The old man started rubbing his beard.

“Most interesting…” He walked to the left side of me with his cane and watched my every movement. “I noticed you were humming the Calamari Inkantation right before you came to…” I smiled at the man.

“Is that the name of that song!?” I shouted. “I was trying so hard to find it in my dream!” I started humming it again. “It’s so lovely.”

“Could it be? Has this heavenly melody been etched into your very soul?!” I stared at him funnily and raised an eyebrow.

“Um… I mean I wouldn’t say that much. I just really like the song.” I finally replied.

“Whatever you say kiddo, but I’m gonna take your initial stunned silence as a YES!” He closed his eyes and started reminiscing. “I’ve heard tell of Octarians whose souls were etched by those squidtastic grooves. But that was a couple years back, during Agent 3’s battle with Dj Octavia.” I looked down.

The name Octavia sounds really familiar, and so does the Agent 3 name, but who? “Um..Cap’n-”

“Still, I can't shake the feeling...”

The captain completely cut me off. Like I wasn’t even trying to talk. I just sighed and let him continue.

“that this is related somehow. In any case, sorry for siccing Agent 3 on you back there. Any fan of the Squid sisters is a friend of mine! I mean that with all my hearts.” He held out a hand to me and kindly helped me up. I dusted off my skirt and shook the last bit of fog out of my head. “Let’s get movin, and find a way out of here!” He pointed his cane into the sky victoriously. I smiled at him and nodded.

“Sure thing Cap’n!” I saluted him and walked forwards.

I finally take in my surroundings and notice we’re in like an abandoned train station? I walk through a broken ticket booth and catch a glimpse of myself through a passing mirror. My pink tentacles flow down to about my shoulders and curl up at the ends. I’m also wearing this weird outfit. With my stomach showing off and my left arm out, but the right one has a sleeve. Also I’m wearing a mini skirt and knee high boots. “I mean… Aren’t I a soldier or something. Why am I in a mini skirt?” There's also these weird bands around my left wrist and right ankle…. “Was I hospitalized at some point?”

I force myself to ignore my attire for the moment and press on. There's a train stopped in front of me so I step inside. I look down one way and I see some ink on the floor that matches my color. “I guess I’ll just follow that for now then…” I mutter. Before I head down the path, however, I turn back to the entrance of the train and call Cuttlefish. “Hey! I found a way out over here!”

“Well then get a move on there young’un! An exit isn’t gonna find itself!” He struts over to the train and follows me down the hallway, after the pink ink.

1 hour later

So… I’ve suddenly found myself admits a fake forest with a small weapon and a Sea Cucumber instructing me what to do.

“Agent 8 proceed through this….arena and make it to the goal to pass.” Instructed the cucumber. I nod in response.

It’s funny, that one moment I'm being yelled at. In one ear by some maybe senile old inkling to find an exit. Then screeched at by some old fashioned Telephone to go fine some Thangs? To then being shoved into a train and taken to this trial just so I can get to this so called Promised Land. I let out a long sigh and proceed forward. Trying my best to focus on the situation of now.

There are plastic looking trees all around with wrapping at the bottom of them. I keep going until I see some boxes and a large pillar surrounded by more boxes. I shoot the boxes hoping that something is inside when I suddenly hear a gurgly voice.

“Target Acquired,” It says. I back away into a battle stance looking for whatever said that. I look up and notice another Octoling looking down at me from a tall brick pedastal. She looks kinda like me, except her tentacles are a weird blueish green color and her skin is super pale. I furrow my brow at her, trying to understand what’s happening.

“Aren’t Octolings your friends?” Questions the Cap’n into my new earpiece. “Maybe try talking to her?” I frown.

“Umm.. I don’t think she’s in the mood to talk Cap.” I flatly reply. On que the New Octo starts firing at me.

“Destroy.” Is all she says as she jumps off her pedestal to try and land on me. I swiftly dodge backwards and toss a bomb to where I was, splatting the Octo on the spot. I let out a small sigh of relief and relax a bit from the sudden encounter. Until the Captain startles me again as he blares into my earpiece.

“EGAD!” He shouts. “Are they really going to attack a fellow Octarian?”

“Considering they already have Cap, Imma say yea…” I sigh, and proceed through the newly opened gates.

“Octo’s attacking Octo’s. What is this world coming to?” Grumbles Cuttlefish. I ignore his comment and continue.

In this new area there are still trees everywhere and boxes, but now there are two pedestals and considering what just happened. I think It’s safe to assume that more Octolings are gonna appear.

“Seek out and Destroy!” Says two more gurgling voices. I look up at the pedestals and see the Octo’s spawning on them. The one on the left pedestal has an umbrella, and the one on the right has a roller. Even though I have amnesia, I remember how to fight, and the names of all these weapons.

“Maybe I was a top class soldier in my life?” I said to myself. “Anyway I need to focus on the battle right now.” “Bring it you fakes!” I shout as I pull out a bomb and throw it at the roller wielding Octo. She rolls right into it splatting herself and fading to nothing. I then target the umbrella and rush at her. She opens the brella and blocks all my shots. Then swims behind me to try to take me out from the back, but I make a path in front of me and swim forward. Then quickly turn around and shoot her in the face knocking off her goggles. “U-um…?” My mouth drops at the sight of her eyes. The whites are pitch black and her irises are glowing a neon blue. Her facial expression looks completely blank as she raises her umbrella to continue to attack me.

“GOOD GRAVY!!” Yelps the captain into my poor ear. “She looks utterly heartless.” I dodge out of the way of the Octolings assault. She fires her umbrella at me and then quickly swims around it to try and surprise attack me.

“I saw that coming from a mile away!” I say as I swim away from her and toss a bomb. Without her umbrella she couldn’t block it and was splatted. I let out a long sigh of relief as her body turns into digital bits. “Cap, I don’t think these are normal Octolings…” I mutter.

“You may be right there lass. I say first you should figure out a way out of this crazy place then we can figure out what’s going on.” He says. I nod in agreement and walk over to the gate that’s opening since I splatted that last Octo. I notice the goggles that she dropped earlier and pick them up. I slip them into my boot and continue. Beyond the gate there’s a weird glowy thing? I slowly go to touch it…

BZRT!

“Ow!!!” I quickly retract my hand and shake off the pain. The stupid thing zapped me!

“Agent 8. Shoot the data point with your ink and then touch it to complete the level.” C.Q Cucumber suddenly speaks up making me jump at his voice.

“Oh! Uh ok.” I step back and fire at the data point… As it takes damage it slowly fixes itself into a stick thing and slams down into the pedestal. When I go to touch it this time it fully falls into the pedestal and a really loud tune plays throughout the whole area.

“You passed the test.” The cucumber casually says. “Proceed to the launchpad and jump back to the station.” I furrow my brow, confused.

“Launchpad? What launchpad!?” I look around me for said pad, but see nothing and frown. “Aw come on! C.Q Where is it!?”

“Agent 8 try looking below you.” He says back. I look down and see the launchpad right under me.

“Ah..Oh! Yea I knew that!” I nervously say and rub the back of my head. To avoid any other embarrassing comments from either Craig or that slug I quickly turn into my octo form and jump all the way back to the station and land in the weird mechanism that gave me the weapon for this mission. It takes back the weapon and hands me this weird little squishy toy? Maybe, and forces me back into the train. “So...um… what’s this?” I hold up the little toy the Equipper gave me. Craig looks at it curiously, but just shrugs. I frown at him.

“It’s called a Memcake. They’ll be awarded to you for each test you pass” The slug chimes in.

“Memcake?” I question as I examine the thing. It looks like a little squid girl. She’s wearing a blue shirt.

“Memcake. They’re formed by compressing memories into physical form. Specifically your own memory.” I blink in confusion at his words.

“So… my memories that I lost...You guys have them!!?” My voice rises sharply in anger. “What kinda sick place is this!!!? How dare you tamper with my mind!” I stomp my foot at the sea slug. Cap puts a hand on my shoulder to try and calm me.

“Now, now lass. Let’s here the little critter out, ok?”

“What do you mean? I wake up with no memory of who I am or why I’m here and this guy tells me that to get all my memories back I gotta take every single test!? How many are there anyway!?”

“They’re 80 levels in total.” The cucumber answers. I raise my eyebrows in shock.

“80!!!” I screech. “OMG OMG OMG! What am I going to do!?” I start to panic and pace back and forth.. “To get to the promised land I just have to find the Four Thangs, but to get all my memories back I have to go through all 80 levels to find the Memcakes,”

“Agent 8.” The slug tries to cut in.

“but that’ll delay me from getting to the Promised land and escaping this place, but I really really want my memories back.”

“Lass!” Craig gets up and grabs me by the shoulders, snapping me out of my panic. “Breathe Agent, breath.” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Good now let’s sit down and listen to the rest of what C.Q Cucumber has to say.” I just nod in agreement and slowly sit on the bench of the train. Cuttlefish sits down next to me and puts his hand on my lap to keep me calm.

“Hmm..” C.Q finally says after I’ve calmed down. “First. Kamabo Co. is the one who rewards you with these Memcakes. I do not know their motives for taking away the contenders memories, and I apologize for making you so upset. It is a terrible thing that they have done, but I must abide by their rules.” I just nod again and stay quiet. My eyes fixated on the little slug. “You are now able to freely go to any missions you want. Two new ones have opened up for you.” I open my CQ-80 and see the two new missions they lead into two different directions on my map.

“Ok.” Is the only thing that comes out my mouth.

“I wish you safe travels Agent 8.” That’s the last thing he says before he slugs away back to the front of the train. I watch him slowly leave and then let out a sigh.

“Don’t worry 8! With the battle skills you showed me in that last mission. I’m sure you can blow through those missions in no time! We’ll be out of here and back home likety split!” Cap cheers. I smile at him and lean back into the bench.

“Thanks Cap. I’ll do my best.”

Chapter Text

It’s been about three days since I first woke up in this underground train station. I’ve made a lot of progress! Including, finishing off the first line and getting all the Memcakes for it, and finding two other lines! I also met some more people, like this big Isopode appropriately named Iso padre. He’s pretty chill and just kinda sits in the same spot on the train and waits for me to complete a train line so I can show him the many Memcakes I've gotten. He also says a lot of deep nonsense that either makes no sense to me or makes waaaayyyy too much sense.

I also got to meet these two other people named Pearl and Marina. They suddenly hijacked Craig’s walkie talkie one day and we’ve been talkin ever since. They say they want to help me get to the Promised Land. Why? I’m not sure, but I’ll take any help I can get. Especially since Craig isn’t that helpful to be honest…

“You ready for this Eight!?” Pearl suddenly shouts into my earpiece. Marina shushes her.

“Pearl not so loud. Are you really going to blow out Eight’s ears?”

“Psh! I’m not that loud am I, Eight?”

“...I mean… a little bit.” I awkwardly say as I walk into the Equipper for my next mission. I hear Pearl shuffle in her seat and Marina giggling.

“Geez you guys got baby ears… Man up Eight!!! You can’t be wimping out like this on the mission.” She shouts. I sigh and nod, hoping they can see me. Craig decided to take a nap, so Pearl and Marina are going to coach and encourage me instead. They make test funnier so I’m all aboard this train.

I choose the charger from the Equiper and proceed to the turnstyle and scan in my CQ points, opening the gate. I casually walk out to the challenge awaiting me, not realizing the horrors that will ensure.

“Woah…” I say as I take in my surroundings. There’s nothing but a launchpad and a grind rail with balloons littered around them C.Q Cumber speaks up to explain the rules to the test.

“Agent 8, to pass this test you must pop all the balloons as you ride along the rails. Miss even one balloon and the next rail wont activate. Got it?”

“Yes sir.” I reply a little nervously.

“You can do it Eight!” Pearl and Marina say in unison.

I hop onto the launchpad and let it fire me onto the first rail. I quickly charge my charger and aim at the first few balloons. Luckily, they line up right behind each other so I can swiftly pop them all at once, causing the next rail to activate. I jump from the one I’m on onto the next one and am bombarded with balloon after balloon after balloon. I somehow manage to pop them all, but when I reach the next rail its not activated for some reason…

“You missed one.” Pearl nonchalantly says.

“Oh crap!!!” I scream as I ride off the rail and down into nothingness. I immediately respawn back by the launchpad. I pull out my CQ-80 and notice that one of the five lives I was given is missing. I sigh and stand back up.

“Eight, what the heck was that? You totally had that, but then you rode right past that balloon!” Pearl said.

“I didn't see it.” I state and jump back into the launchpad. Marina hums into the mic.

“Um...You can do it for sure this time Eight!! I believe in you!” She cheers.

“Same.” Pearl says. I sigh again and focus back on the task at hand. Falling back into my pattern of popping balloons one after the other until the rails activate and I can jump to them.

“That’s half of them.” Marina says as I round the rail and turn into an Octo to pass through the fence.

“Sweet.” I mutter under my breath. I turn back into my kid form and raise my charger to take out the next set of balloons.

Suddenly…

“AACHOO!” Blares through my earpiece scaring the life out of me and making me fall off the rail.

“No no no no no no no!!!” I shout as I fall into the abyss. Once again I find myself at the beginning of the test, glaring at nothing in particular. On the other end of my earpiece no one is making a sound. “So...Who just sneezed as loud as a Beluga Whale into my ear?” I hear nervous laughter on the other side of the connection.

“S-sorry...Pearl was spraying this cologne and it went up my nose…”Marina says.

“Sorry bout that Eight that was all me..” Pearl says. I hear a crash in the background and assume that she threw the cologne behind her somewhere. I stand up and put my hands on my hips.

“You guys… I really need to focus here. This test is actually harder than I thought it would be, and if I miss any of my shots I’ll have to start over again.”

“We completely understand Eight. We’ll keep quiet, ok?” Marina assures me. I nod and jump back on to the first rail and ready my charger again. I focus back into my rhythm of popping balloons, but maybe I was a little too focused… When I suddenly find myself back at the beginning of the level again. Even faster than the last two times.

“...Eight? What just happ-“

“Don’t even say it! Nothing happened…” I quickly hop back into the launchpad and send myself off again. Ignoring anything Pearl and Marina try to say to me or even laugh at that last failure.

After about a dozen or so balloons later I make it back to the halfway mark and continue forward. I notice that Pearl and Marina are dead silent on the other end of the connection and I silently thank them for that. Of course though, I spoke too soon.

BANG CRASH BOOM!!!

Echoes through my earpiece startling me and almost making me fall of the rail again, but I forced myself to keep balance.

“PEARL GIVE ME BACK MY HEADPHONES!!” Marina blares through my earpiece. I hear her running around and Pearl in the background cackling at her.

“HAHA! Make me!” She hollers as I hear another crash.

“Hey could you guys keep it down!” I shout into my earpiece. It didn't help at all as Pearl keeps laughing and Marina keeps chasing after her and knocking stuff over. I huff into my mic and try to tune them out and continue.

VRRRRR!!!

I, however, failed to notice the Octowash approaching me at high speeds as it tears right through me.. “AUGH!” I yelp as my armor flies of, and I go crashing to the abyss once again. When I respawn back at the beginning I glare at the launchpad in front of me and don’t move an inch. My earpiece is still ringing in my ear as Pearl and Marina play around. I slowly take it out of my ear and hold it in front of my mouth and take a deep breath.

“YOU GUYS!!! CHILL OUT!!!” I scream at the top of my lungs into the piece. Then after a moment of silence I slip it back into my ear and wait for their responses.

“....uh, um sorry Eight.” Pearl meekly says into the mic. I let out a sigh to try and calm down, but kinda fail at it.

“Guys I was so close to the end, but you distracted me and hear I am at the beginning again! Great job team, and now I only have one life left and if I fail this time I’ll have to pay again and I don’t even have that many CQ points to begin with, because I suck at these stupid test an this is seriously stressing me out!!!” I start to panic talk, and rub at my tentacles. Until Marina speaks up.

“Eight! Eight! It’s fine! Everything’s ok! Ok?” I hear her start tapping on her keyboard. “Here! We can do this. Since you’re having such a hard time with this mission I can mess with the station and make it think you actually passed the test instead of failing it. See? Everything’s a-ok!” I look up from the ground that I was apparently staring at. Then I furrow my brow.

“You mean cheat?” A silence washes over all of us.

“I mean…” Pearl speaks up. “Technically yes, but you could call it strategically knowing when to call it quits.” I frown at the sky and start shaking my head.

“No! I can’t cheat! That’s cheating! I can't do that!” Pearl clicks her teeth at me.

“Eight, you said yourself that you suck at these missions. How are you gonna get to the surface if you keep panicking and shutting down like this?”

“I-I could just keep trying, and I’m sure eventually I’ll beat it!” I freeze then frown again at the sky. “And it’s not even my fault why I keep failing this mission! You guys keep distracting me!”

“Yea, you right, but!” She pauses for dramatic effect. “Aren’t you the trained soldier who should be able to work in any condition? This should be child’s play to you.”

“Girl I don’t know! I woke up in this place with no memories and a skimpy outfit to an old man yelling at me about how I’m an Octoling or whatever and I don’t even know my own name!” I point at the sky hoping that they can see me glaring at them. “And you just said I suck! Stop going back and forth on me!” Pearl clicks her teeth again.

“I didn't say you sucked. You said you sucked and I just repeated it!”

“You repeating it means you think I suck!”

“You saying you suck means you suck!”

“AUGH! I was just saying it to get support! You didn't have to agree with me!”

“Well if you would have just said that then-MMPH!!!” Pearls words turn into nothing but mumbles as I assume Marina covers her mouth up.

“Ok calm down you two. This is getting us nowhere.” Marina sighs loudly into the mic. “Agent 8 we won’t help you cheat if you don’t want to, and I promise we’ll stay quiet this time so you can concentrate. Ok?” I let out the breath I just noticed I was holding and nod. “Great! And Pearl apologize to Eight! She does not suck!”

“Yea..sorry about that Eight. That was uncool.” I slowly stand up and shake my head.

“I’m sorry too, you guys are here to help me and I’m just taking out my frustrations on you.”

“Apology accepted Eight!” They both say. I look back at the turnstyle and station. “Maybe I should just go take a break and come back to this test.” I hear them shuffle in their seats.

“Well you could, but you also still have one life left. You could just use that up then head back if you really want.” Pearl says. I look back at my charger that’s still laying on the ground after my mini breakdown. I bend down and pick it up then walk back over to the launchpad.

“That’s smart. Ok wish me luck guys.”

“Good luck!” Marina shouts.

“You got this Eight!” Pearl says. I nod and smile as I turn into an Octo and shoot off to the grind rail again. Ready to do my best!

Chapter Text

Today was not a day that I was ready for, and I mean I really wasn’t ready for this.

“Agent 8. I’m sorry to inform you, but you must wait your turn for this test. An applicant is already currently taking it.” The slug announced to me as he slowly slithered over to my feet.

“Another applicant?” I smile widely and start to bounce a bit. “You mean there’s someone else taking all these stupid test like me!?”

“Lass..Don’t call the test stupid. I’m sure C.Q has worked really hard on them.” Craig interjects. I frown at him, but decide not to retort back and instead just sigh.

“You're right. My bad.” I look back towards the slug. “So..who's this other applicant, and why am I just now hearing about them?” C.Q. clears his throat.

“User 10007 Is currently taking test Io1/Go1. When they complete said test, or quit you will be able to enter and take it.” The slug says as he waves his long arms all in my personal space. I just pout and sit down on the bench next to Craig.

“Aww man, but I wanna take it now. I’m so close to my first Thang.”

“Again my apologies.” The slug retracts his arms and turns to go back to the front of the train. “I will call you when 10007 is finished.” He says as he slithers away. I watch him leave and let out a long sigh.

“Well, I guess I’ll go occupy myself. What you gonna do Cap?” He starts to rub his beard and looks up to the ceiling.

“Hmmm..Nothing I guess, or maybe I’ll message Pearlie and Marina while I eat my Krabby cakes!” He digs into his pocket and pulls out a packet of just Krabby cakes and I gag a little.

“Yea, uh ok Cap. I’m gonna go somewhere far away from here…” I hop off the bench and head for the front of the train.

“Be careful Lass! Don’t let anyone pocket pick you or anything!” He waves after me.

“Pickpocket, Cap.” I say as I wave back and disappear beyond the door. In the next train car it's pretty crowded as it’s filled with several sea angels who are just sitting around either on their cellphones or talking amongst each other. I politely squeeze past them and head straight for a bench near a window to sit at. I plop down onto it and bring my legs up to my chest as I look out the window. We pass several different test that I’ve either yet to unlock or haven't even tried yet. My eyes droop at the sight, wishing that there was some way I could speed past these test quicker. I mean it’s already been a week since I first woke up down here and I’ve completed only one line, and struggled through two others. How am I supposed to complete 80 levels all by myself? That’s insane, or maybe even impossible… Maybe I’ll just have to go to the promised land without all my memories. Who knows it probably won’t be that bad. I’ve already made it this far with little to no memory of the past me, I’m sure I’ll be fine!

Suddenly one of the Angel fish comes over, and holds up his big jacket in front of me, gesturing for me to take it. I look at him questionably.

“Umm.. Can I help you?” I ask. He just keeps holding up the jacket, but leans into my left ear and whispers something. My face blushes a bright red and I take his jacket and lay it on my legs. He just reminded me that I’m still wearing this stupid uncomfortable mini skirt and since I sat down everyone in this cart has had a grand view of the moon! “T-thank you for the jacket.” I mutter as I look down at the ground in embarrassment. He just gives me a thumbs up and goes back to his seat. “*Sigh*… Somebody give me strength….”

1 hour later

“Ok! I’ve waited long enough!” I march to the conductors train and bang on the door. “C.Q.! It’s been an hour! Why isn’t the other applicant done already!?” I bang on the metal door about 5 times and then wait for the little slug to show himself. After about 5 minutes he opens the door and waves one long arm in my face in a disciplinary way. “Agent 8. It’s rude to bang on someone's door like that.” I frown and swat his tentacle away.

“C.Q. I've been waiting forever for this guy to get done with this test. It should not take this long to pass, or better yet, use up all your C.Q. points to even continue to take said test.” He brings his tentacle to his chin and hums.

“You maybe right. Ok. We will head to the test sight then.” He says. My frown immediately turns upside down.

“Yay! I knew you were my favorite slug/conductor!” I bend down and hug him, forgetting that he’s a sea cucumber and all his slimyness just got onto the only outfit I currently own and made it sticky. I try not to gag and just slowly put him back down. He then turns around and slithers back into his train.

“Yes, yes. Let’s be on our way.” He says.

“Cool and while your getting us there I’m gonna go bother Craig and Iso Padre for some napkins to whip my outfit off…” I turn around and speedily walk back to the end train. Trying as hard as I can to not panic as the slime oozes down my body. “Oh man, this is so gross…”

After about 10 minutes we arrive at the test site and C.Q. lets me go into the station with him to see what’s going on. I run over to the turnstyle and try to get a glimpse of this so called user 10007. However, I can't see much past the stupid ledge where the launchpad is.

“Hey Eight, Craig caught us up to speed. There’s another applicant besides you down there, and he’s blocking the test for you right?” Marina suddenly says through my earpiece.

“Mhmm. I’m tryna see who it is, but I can't see anything! Marina can you tell me what’s going on out there?” I hear some tapping in the background, keyboard tapping.

“Sure thing! Just give me a couple of seconds to access the cameras in this line, aannnd... got it!” There’s silence for a bit, but then a crash.

“WOAH!” Pearl and Marina say in unison.

“W-what!? What do you guys see!?” I shout excitedly.

“The”

“Saddest”

“Thing”

“Ever” they say one after the other.

“What do you mean sad? Come on I wanna see!” I quickly pull out my CQ-80 and swipe my way past the turnstyle. Ignoring whatever it just charged me and the slug telling me to come back. I run over to the edge of the platform and see the catastrophe unfolding.

There’s this giant oven thing chasing after this kid with an Octo brush. Every so often shooting out one of the loaves to stop him in his tracks or try to splat him. The kid looks completely worn out, like he could pass out at any second. “Oh...snaps…” I say under my breath, watching this one sided battle. There are even Octo Snipers on top of the oven firing at him from behind some splat walls.

“See what I mean? This is really sad.” Pearl says.

“And unfair...I feel really bad for that poor kid…” Marina adds. I just stay silent and continue to watch. The boy manages to dodge another loaf of bread, but gets shot by one of the snipers, causing him to be sent flying and shattering his armor, landing hard into the enemy ink that takes up pretty much the whole platform. He lays there for a long while trying desperately to catch his breath and push himself out of the burning foreign ink, but failing miserably. “Hey, now that I’ve gotten a closer look. He doesn’t look too good..”

“Well duh Marina! Can’t you see him failing out there. This is hilarious! Actually hold on let me get this on camera.” I hear pearl turn on her phone and I frown.

“No I mean when I zoom in on his face doesn’t it look flushed a bit? And he’s pale, and look at those wounds!” Marina asks. I watch the boy closely. He’s still just laying there after being knocked down. Not moving a muscle, maybe he gave up? The big oven starts to move closer and closer to him and prepares to strike the finishing blow. I want to go in to save him, but I probably shouldn’t make C.Q. madder than he probably already is. I decide to stay put and look away when the giant loaf of bread flies out of the oven and hits the boy. I hear him cry out in anguish and then nothing. I turn back and see him gone along with his weapon, and the boss oven heads back to the middle of the platform and waits.

“HAHA! Oh man did you see that!? That was awesome!” Pearl hollers into my earpiece causing me to flinch. “Ah and I caught it all on camera how cool is that!?”

“Dang pearl. I never knew you could be so cold.” I flatly say.

“That’s not me being cold! Come on did neither of you guys find that funny!?”

“Pearlie...maybe you should stop talking.” Marina politely says. I hear the boy respawning behind me and I watch him emerge from the spawn point. When he comes back he immediately falls back and just lays there, breathing heavily. I walk over to him and stare. He's wearing a leather outfit similar to mine, but instead of a skirt he’s wearing pants and instead of knee high boots, he’s wearing ankle boots. The hospital wrist bands around his leg and arm say 10007. His ear twitches with every step I take, putting him on edge.

“Be careful Eight. He could be hostile.” Marina warns. I nod in agreement and slowly walk around him to his face. His eyes are open and when I come into view he locks eyes with me.

“Um.. Hello!” I nervously wave at him. He just continues to stare at me while reaching for his weapon. I kick it away a little bit, just so he won't suddenly get up and whack me with it. “I’m Usser 10008. I heard you were here and wanted to come meet you.” The boy furrows his brow at me, then slowly sits up. Not breaking eye contact. “So.. uh… I saw you having trouble with this test. I was just thinking maybe you should take a break and come back later?” I start playing with my hands trying to drive away my nervousness. This guy is creeping me out.. He wont stop staring or even say anything! “I’d like to try to take this test, and with you in here I can't, so if you would be so kind to just give me a second to-“

“No.” Is all the boy says as he stands up and goes to retrieve his weapon.

“Umm...Why not? You’ve been in here a long time and clearly need a break, so I’ll just try the test while you rest and-“

“Still no..” he says again. I’m starting to get irritated, so I walk over to him and block him from getting his weapon.

“Ok look here buddy! I’ve been waiting for over an hour for you to finish this test and you're obviously not gonna beat it anytime soon, and I just want to give it a try so I can get a move on and go collect the Thang that’s around here! So I need you to cooperate and let me take this test, Kay?” The boy doesn’t reply. He’s too busy looking at something on the ground with his half lidded eyes. Now that I’m this close I’m starting to notice what Marina was talking about earlier. He’s sweating a ton, and is pretty pale. He even has several severe cuts along his open arm and stomach and is swaying on his feet slightly. I drop the tough girl act and soften my voice. “Hey...Are you ok?” He locks eyes with me again and then looks back at his weapon.

“Mo’kay.” He finally says as he walks past me and retrieves his weapon. “I-if I take a break. I’ll lose all the progress I made, and that's b-bad.” His speech is a little slurred.

“But if you take a break you could regain your strength and probably get back to where you were a whole lot faster!” He ignored me. I watch him drag his weapon over to the launchpad to jump back into the battle.

“Hey Eight, I think you should stop him. He may get himself really hurt if he keeps this up.” Pearl chimes in.

“BUT! Do it gently please!” Marina adds. I nod in agreement, but don’t make a move to stop him.

“He’s probably not gonna make it to the launchpad with or without my help.” The boy kinda walks past the launchpad without realizing it and collapses onto the edge of the platform we’re on.

“Oh thank god!” Pearl says.

“He’s out cold.” Marina adds. I sigh and walk over to him to pick him up by the arms and drag him back into the station. C.Q. is waiting for me, standing right in front of the Equipper.

“Don’t worry Slug. I’m just gonna take him back into the train. I’ll attempt the test later today.” I say. He nods his squishy head and opens the train doors.

“You do know that you can’t recover the C.Q. points you wasted to go see what was happening.” I stop in my tracks and stare at the slug. Wide eyed.

“Really? I can’t? Wait how much did I spend?” I turn around and look at the Turnstyle. The sign says 3000 points per entry. “Gosh dang it!!!” I shout as I drag the unconscious boy into the train. “He better be grateful whenever he wakes up! This cost me a quarter of my C.Q. points!” I gumble to myself while I lay him on the bench and turn to the Captain and Iso Padre. “Hey guys, I found him.” Cap raised one eyebrow at me.

“Lass, is that the applicant you were talking about?” I nod and turn back to the boy. I roll him onto his side, facing the bench, hoping that's a little more comfortable for him.

“User 10007.” I start to play with the little curly tentacle at the top of his head and watch as his face scrunches up.

“Hmmm User 10007 is a mouthful. We’ll just call him Agent 7.” Iso Padre and I nod in agreement.

“Yea and that’s easier to remember too. Anyway, Iso Padre do you have any bandages?”

Chapter Text

“RIGHT! EIGHT TO THE RIGHT!!!”

“NO LEFT GO LEFT!”

“UP LASS THEY'RE COMING FROM THE SKY!!!”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN UP!!! HOW CAN THEY COME FROM THE SKY!!!” I screech as loud as I possibly can.

“IGNORE HIM EIGHT! JUST FOCUS ON THE MISSILES COMING STRAIGHT FOR THE ORB!”

“NO! FOCUS ON THE ZEPPELINS THEY DO WAAY MORE DAMAGE!”

“LASS THE SNIPERS! FOCUS ON THE SNIPERS!”

“WHAT SNIPERS GRAMPS!? WHERE?!!!”

“THERE AREN'T ANY SNIPERS!!! CUTTLEFISH STOP CONFUSING HER!!!”

“BUT THE SNIPERS!!!”

BOOM!!!

“The Orb was destroyed. Test Failed.” C.Q. interrupts.

“GOD DA-!!!” My cry was cut short as the bomb on my back suddenly explodes splating me instantly. After a brief moment of silence I’m spawned back into the station. “...”

“Well that could have gone worse.” Pearl says. I open my mouth to say something, but..

“AAAAHHHHHH!!! WE'VE BEEN AT THIS FOR AN HOUR NOW!!! THIS IS TOO STRESSFUL!!!” I throw myself onto the cold hard floor face first and start kicking my legs. “How is anyone supposed to keep up with all those freaking missiles firing everywhere!”

“Uh...Eight? How many times do we have to remind you you’re wearing a mini skirt?” Marina says. I quickly flip onto my back and sit up and cover up my backside.

“As many times as needed Marina…” I nervously say. She sighs into the mic. “But seriously! I just have to get through this test and I can get my first Thang! Please oh please does anyone have any advice?”

“Well there’s always that one method…” Pearl comments. I quickly shush her.

“NO! We will not do that! No cheats!” I stand back up on my feet and head over to the turnstyle.

“Cheats? How could you possibly cheat Lass?” Cap asks. I raise my eyebrows in surprise. Oh yea, he wasn’t around when we brought that up the first time.

“Uh..No cheats Cap. I’m doing all these test and will pass them with flying colors. Like a Good Octoling!” I put my hands on my hips and smile. I hear him chuckle into the mic.

“Good! Y’all younguns always be tryna figure out easy ways out of things! You know back in my day we had to work for everything. If I wanted a Krabby cake back then my mama would make me go work a whole day at her bakery and you know what that got me?” Marina, Pearl and I all sigh at his whole ‘back in my day’ speech.

“What did it get you Captain?” Marina nicely asked.

“A half of a Krabby cake! I didn't work hard enough, so she only rewarded me with what I earned! You kids have it so easy! You don’t even know the struggles of war and-“ Pearl cuts him off.

“Ok Cap I think we should move on so Eight can complete this test, TODAY.” She says a little rough.

The word War is kinda bouncing back and forth in my head. I am a soldier after all...Shouldn't I know something about it? I decide to drop it for now and swipe my C.Q. card to re enter the test facility. Five lives appear on my CQ-80 and I walk over to the launchpad to send me back to the rocket launcher. I slide back into it and get ready for the missiles to start firing back at the little orb in the middle of the platform.

“So guys, I think I’ll just stay calm for this. That seems right.” I say. I hear Marina whisper something to Pearl and the captain hum in understanding.

“Cool do your best Eight!” Pearl shouts. I nod in response and zone out into my ‘Battle mode’.

Several little missiles shoot from the right side of the platform and I fire a missile into the middle of them too destroy them all at once. Then I do the same to the three coming from the left side of the platform. After those were destroyed the zeppelins start to fire from both sides, but since they are slow I decide to ignore them for the time being to focus on the little missiles that are closing in on the orb.

“To take out the zeppelins I just have to fire one missile at the tentacles on top of them.” I start muttering to myself to grasp an understanding of the situation. The missiles and zeppelins start to speed up as the timer ticks down.

“Just ten more seconds Agent 8! You got this!” One of the girls says to me. I didn't quite register a voice and just stayed focus. Three zeppelins were approaching from the left side of the platform at an alarming rate, so I quickly dispatched them, but then I heard a beeping noise. Signifying that the orb took damage, so I quickly aimed back at it and shot it with several missiles to recover some of its damage. Then another zeppelin approached it and I quickly shot it down. Then every missile that could have been shot was shot at the orb in a last chance to take it down, but I spun the rocket launcher around and perfectly shot every one down before they even got a foot near my orb.

“Test passed.” CQ said as a loud chime played through the whole facility. I leaped out of the rocket launcher and threw my fist in the air.

“YEA! I did it!!!” I jump up and down to celebrate and spin around to jump back to the station to get my Memcake.

“Noice Eight! Told yuh you could do it!” Pearl said.

“We all believed you could do it!” added Marina.

“Mhmm! Of course the Lass could do it.” Cap said.

“Thanks guys!” When I landed in the Equipper it handed me my Memcake and released me to go back into the train. C.Q. was waiting for me in front of the door and politely opened it for me. I nod my head at him and he tips his hat to me. I walk over to the bench that Agent 7 is laying on and sit down at his head. I let out a long sigh and lean back into the bench, I look at Agent 7 for a bit.
After I brought him in here Iso padre lent me his first aid kit, and I bandaged him up. It’s been just one day since we found him, but he hasn’t woken up since. The poor guy must have been exhausted. Which is fair, because that boss was pretty hard, but if he would have used the Jet Squelcher instead of the Octo brush, he would have had a much easier time. I mean, I beat it in only two tries and that’s amazing for my standards.

“Hey Eight, Pearl and I are gonna get some snacks real quick. Have the captain text us when you get to the next station, Kay?” Marina says into my earpiece.

“Yea! We wanna see what one of those Thangs look like!” Pearl jumps in excitedly. I smile at their enthusiasm.

“Sure thing you two! See you.” I take out my earpiece and slip it into my boot for safe keeping. Then I remember the new Memcake I just got and held it up. It’s in the shape of an Octopus wearing a samurai helmet and holding two wasabi's. I look it over curiously. “This Octopus looks really familiar…” My chest tightens the longer I stare at it. I bring the little cake up to my mouth and lick it.

“I leave without ceremony. Don’t be sore; I wanted more. My sincerest apology.” Those words start to bounce around in my head as a blurry flashback starts to play.

“What do you mean your leaving!? How could you do this to me A-“ That person grabs my shoulder and turns me to her. Her red tentacles are covering up her eyes.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t live like this anymore!” I turn and hit her arm off of me. “You’ll understand someday too. I’m sure of it!” I turn away from her and run away as fast as I could.

“You’ll regret this! Octavia won’t stand for this betrayal!!!”

I snap back to reality at the name and stare wide eyed at the ground. Octavia...Dj Octavia...My boss.

“Nnnhh…” I flinch as I feel Agent 7 roll on to his side next to me. He frowns and flops onto his stomach then relaxes again. I sigh and stroke the back of his head to help lull him back into a deep sleep, if he hasn’t already went back again. After about five minutes, I stand up and stretch my arms and legs then walk over to Iso padre. I hold out the Memcake to him.

“Here, sir, can you hold onto this one for me too?” He unfolds one of his tendrils and takes the Memcake.

“Would you look at that. You’ve added another memory to your collection I see.” He picks up a small briefcase off the floor and puts my cake in there. then closes it tight and lays it gently back on the floor.

“Yea, but that one was a bit harder to swallow…” I grab hold of my right tentacle and start to shyly play with it. Iso padre nods at me in understanding.

“Sometimes memories can be joyful and happy, but others can be bitter and sad. However, remember that those were your past and not your future. You can choose who you want to become young one.” He gently tilts my head up to look him in the eyes. I smile at his words and nod.

“Thanks, sir.” A little jingle plays over the intercom throughout the train.

“Agent 8.” CQ Speaks up. “We have reached your destination. Please exit the train through the back entrance. I nod and pull my earpiece out of my boot and slide it back into my ear. I wave bye to Iso Padre and head out the door. When I exit the train I immediately notice the different surroundings of this station. It’s not a normal station with a turnstyle and a bunch of glass keeping me in. It’s just an opening hallway with an Equipper in the middle. I walk over to it and step on. It just hands me a standard Splattershot and sends me on my way. I cautiously walk down the hallway, keeping my guard up just in case something jumps out at me.

“Doesn’t seem like anyone’s here…” I say to no one in particular, so I pick up the pace and start shooting ink to make a path that I can swim through. When I reach the end of the hall I see a pedestal with a big glowly ball thing. There’s something inside of it, but I can't quite make out what it is. I raise my weapon and start shooting ink at the ball, it starts getting bigger and bigger the more ink I shoot at it until it explodes, causing the thing inside of it to land on the pedestal. I walk over to it and touch it. “This is one of the Thangs?” I walk around it and examine everything about it. It’s black and gray and has a bunch of buttons on the front of it. I push one of the buttons, but nothing happens, so I shrug and begin to push it back to the train. I get it to the Equipper and take out my CQ-80 to take a picture with it. Finding the perfect pose, I hold up a peace sign and smile as big as I can and snap the photo. “If I have to go through Hell and back to get these stupid things. I’m gonna celebrate right when I get them.” I quickly send the photo to the Captain so he can send it to Pearl and Marina...After I show him how to of course!

40min later

“You are da bomb fo rizzle! You got the first thang!” The annoying telephone screeches at me. I roll my eyes at it, but continue to listen. “Find all four and you will [ERROR] the promised land. Keep on keeping on!” It blares and then silence…

“Geez, this guy isn’t much for a conversationalist, huh?” I say. I turn to face Craig who’s behind me. He’s fidgeting with his phone trying to understand what I told him the whole forty minutes back to central station.

“So Lass, I just hold the picture you sent me, and then save it, and then send it to the girls..right?” I nod and walk over to him.

“Yup! Just like that Cap!” I lean over his shoulder and watch him send the selfie of me with my first Thang. I giggle to myself as I imagine Pearl and Marina’s reactions. They're gonna be so mad I went without them! Craig looks at me and chuckles.

“Glad to see you in higher spirits, Lass. You’ve been much more positive since the first train line.” I stop laughing and lock eyes with him.

“Yea I guess I have been haven't I?” I look over to the Thang and at the telephone. “Maybe it’s because I feel like I can actually do this now. Especially since I already have a Thang! Just three more to go Cap! Can you believe it?” I hold up three fingers to his face and smile. He nods at me and rubs his beard.

“Soon we’ll be able to get back to the surface. Just keep up the positivity and you can get those last few quickly, lass. I’m counting on you!” He holds his cane up in the air victoriously. I throw my fist in the air to mimic him.

“You can count on me, Cap!” I smile widely at him and watch him strut back into the train. I follow closely behind until my earpiece suddenly turns on and blares into my ear.

“EIGHT HOW COULD YOU!?” Pearl and Marina shout into my ear. I quickly pull it out of my ear and start laughing. Maybe this challenge won't be as bad as I thought it would be.

Chapter Text

My ear twitched at the sound of the train stopping, stirring me out of the deep sleep I was in. I realize I’m laying on something cold and hard, but surprisingly comfortable. I decide to just continue to lay there and listen to the noises around me instead of opening my eyes. I feel a warm presence near my head hum to itself then suddenly get up and walk away. After a few minutes I finally decide to crack my eyes open to see what’s going on.

The train that I’m apparently on has temporarily stopped to let passengers off. I watched them as they exit one by one, surprisingly, in an orderly fashion. One in particular catches my eye.

It’s that weird girl from before! Wait...before? Before...when she showed up...and interrupted my test…Yea the test! Wait! What about the test! I quickly sat up from the lying position I was in, but immediately regretted it as the world tilted sideways. I grabbed at my head and tightly closed my eyes to try and focus.

“Oh hey! You’re awake!” I heard someone say to me. I slowly opened my eyes again to see that girl in front of me, smiling sweetly. “I was about to go get a snack, wanna come with? You're probably really hungry.” I looked her up and down, suspiciously. She held out her hand to me. “Oh yea! I’m gonna assume you didn’t hear me the first time I introduced myself, so I’m user 10008, but you can call me Eight or Agent 8 whatever you prefer.” I slowly reached out and took her hand. She gripped mine firmly and shook it. Then she started to tug on me a little bit to convince me to stand. I pulled my hand out of hers and shook my head.

“I’m not hungry.” I stated and glanced at the floor. On que, as if to spite me, my stomach growled. This Agent 8 girl starts laughing at me, and I blushed sheepishly.

“Ha! You say one thing your stomach says another.” She said as she finally stopped laughing. “It’s fine I’ll go get us both some snacks.” She waved and rushed out the door of the train. I watched her until she disappeared, and then surveyed my surroundings a bit more.
There’s not much in this train, actually, not even that many passengers. I slid off the bench and walked towards the open doors and peaked out. Agent 8 is down the platform at a vending machine. I turn and look the other way and there’s a telephone next to some weird black thing on the ground. I blinked at the objects and walked back into the train. As I re-enter a giant isopod comes walking through from the other train car. I freaked out and quickly hid at the edge of the bench I was originally sitting on.

“Who is he?” I whispered to myself. Crouched down, I peak at the Isopod curiously. He scanned the train car, then shrugged and sat down at the front of the car with a long sigh. I continue to stare at him, unblinking, to figure out what are his motives.

“Um...what are you doing?” The voice asked. Startling me into a standing position to face them. I seal my lips closed as the Agent 8 girl stared at me with one eyebrow raised. She’s holding several snack packages in her right arm and some drinks in her left. I chose not to respond and just continued to watch her. She frowned at me and shrugged then walked over to the bench and laid all the stuff down. “You know, if you wanna eat you need to come sit down. Otherwise I’m not giving you anything.” She locked eyes with me and crossed her arms. I looked back and forth between her and the snacks then bolted over to her and pulled her to sit down with me on the bench. “H-hey! I know how to move on my own thank you.” She huffed. I blinked at her then nodded slightly.

“S-sorry.” I murmured as quietly as possible. She raised an eyebrow at me, confused, but then just shrugged it off. She picked up one of the snack packages and opened it up and started eating it. I continued to glance between her and the snacks, hoping she’d notice and allow me to have some. She did, after like five minutes, and then smiled at me.

“If you ask nicely I’ll give you the best pack.” She said. I furrowed my brow at her and sighed.

“May I have some?”

“What’s the magic word?” She teased as she held up a packet and waved it in my face.

“Please.” She smiled, but instead of handing me the bag like she promised, she pressed on.

“Ok! Now stand up and bow to prove your sincerity.”

“B-but...You said..”

“I know what I said, but I wanna check to see if you're ok now. So stand up and do something. Bowing will earn you twenty points with me though.”

Points? I quickly stand up and bow to her. “May I please have some food?” I stand back up and stare her down. She’s genuinely surprised at me and then pats the seat next to her.

“Woah..I didn’t think you’d actually do it...Anyway, here.” She hands me the bag she’s been holding this whole time. I sit back down and open it up. We eat in silence for a while before I decide to speak up.

“So, what do my points get me?” I ask. She raises an eyebrow at me.

“Um..What?”

“The points. You said if I bowed to you I earn points. What do I get if I get enough?” I look her in the eyes.

“Um...nothing really. I was just playing…” She nervously rubs the back of her head. I frown.

“But with points I’m supposed to get something when I earn them. How come I can’t get anything with you?”

“Uh..I don’t-“ I cut her off and look at the bag I was holding.

“The telephone told me if I earn enough points down here he’ll give me a reward, but he won’t tell me what the reward is and whenever I question him on it he just says it's a secret, a juicy secret.” I snap out of the talkative daze I went into and look at the girl. Her eyes are wide with a mixture of shock and confusion.

“Um...I’m not sure man…” She finally says. “The telephone sent me on a mission too, but he said my reward is to go to the Promised Land. Maybe that’s your surprise too.”

“The Promised Land?”

“Yea! Like the surface.” I blankly stare at her. “You know...Where all the inklings live...Where the sunshine is and sunsets and weather and happiness. Good food and such. Ringing any bells?” I tilt my head in confusion. “Seriously!? How do you not know about the surface?” I look at the ground.

“I’m not a normal person…” I sullenly say.

“What do you mean? You’re an Octoling like me right?”

“Evidently.”

“Gramps says Octolings and Octarians live underground and stuff. So we’ve never been to the surface.” She twists up her bag of snacks and ties something to the end of it, sealing it. “I lost my memory coming to this train station, so I don't know much, but I do know that I wanna go to the surface!” She smiles at me. I frown.

“I didn't come from the underground place that you’re talking about.” She tilts her head this time.

“Then where did you come from? I mean there’s only the surface and the underground…”

“Classified information.” I state.

“Dude...How you gonna get me curious and then not even answer my question?” She frowns.

“Now you know how I felt when you and the telephone wouldn’t tell me my prize.” She sighs.

“Ok fine! How about when you get to one-hundred points, I’ll buy you whatever you want when we get to the promised land. Deal?”

“Who said I was going to this Promised land?”

“I’m positive that’s what your prize is. He’s probably just messing with you.” She states. I look to the floor and breathe in and then back out heavily.

“Well, maybe if I understand what your mission is this will make more sense to me?” I look back at the girl. “So, what is your mission?” The agent 8 girl sits back in her seat and then points to the weird black thing outside the train.

“My mission is to bring four of those thangs to the silly telephone. I’ve already found one, so I just need three more and I win.” She then sits back up and puts her hands on her lap and smiles at me. “Hey! Wanna combine our missions? We can work together and get out of here faster.”

“Absolutely not.” I flatly say. She’s taken aback by my quick answer and then frowns.

“Aw! Why not? Come on, if we work together we could get both our missions done quicker, and with my help I’ll make sure you never get injured like you did again!” She proudly says. Her words have intrigued me, but I’m still reluctant to trust her. Also… was I really that badly hurt? I look down at my bare arm and notice the bandages all the way up it, they’re even bandages on my stomach, and head.

“Was I really that hurt?”

“”Uh, Yea! That boss kicked your tail. Actually you know it would have been way easier if you would have used the Jet squelcher instead of the Octo brush.” She crossed her legs “The Equipper even tells you that it’ll be better to use it. How come you picked the brush?”

“I exclusively use brushes and rollers. Nothing else.” I state. She tilts her head at me, confused.

“Well that's cool and all, but you could have died. Dude, just pick the regular shooter.”

“No.”

“Ok, I will make you go back to that mission and suffer. With the squelcher you can easily shoot at the enemies and sprinklers on top of the boss and ink your path to the tentacle. What about that seems so bad?” I look down at the floor and play with my thumbs.

“Um...That would be none of your business.” She sighs heavily.

“Ohmygosh! If you don’t tell me anything I can't help you now can I?”

“I didn't ask for your help as I recall.” She frowns at me.

“You know, I’m not sure what’s more irritating. The fact that you won’t let me help you, or the fact that you keep saying all these rude comments with the blankest face.” I tilt my head this time.

“What do you mean? Blank face?” She waves her hand.

“Nothing. Not important right now. Anyway, I’m not letting you go off by yourself unless you prove to me that you can finish your mission without killing yourself in the process. That’s a waste of life.”

“Wait, why are you the one not trusting me? I was the one not trusting you?”

“If you don't trust me, Why would you eat the food I gave you?”

“I was hungry and you said vending machine.” I shrug. She nods.

“Ok, but until your bandages come of your not going on anymore missions, I’ll go on them for you if no progression bugs you too much, and if you try to escape I’ll have someone stop you. You hear that Iso padre!?” She suddenly shouts to the big isopod in front of the train. I forgot about him. He holds up a tendril and gives a thumbs up. She smiled at him and gave a thumbs up back. Then she turned back to me. “And he’s not the only one who’ll watch you either, there’s two other people always on the train with me who can watch you and even the people who get on and off will watch you for me too. I’ve made a few friends over the time of me being down here. Good to know it paid off.” She leans back and crosses her arms, looking smugly at me. I look over at the isopod and then back to her. I sigh and lean back also.

“Fine, I’ll go along with you for now, but as soon as I am healed I’m going back to my missions. Alone.” I say. She smirks.

“That is, if I haven’t convinced you to stay with me by then.” She uncrosses her arms and legs an stands up. She hands me a bottle of one of those drinks she had earlier. “Anyway, I’m gonna let you rest now, you look tired. Which is funny you’ve been asleep for a while now, but you were hurt too...Oh well, I’m dragging on! See you in the morning!” She gathers up the rest of the snacks and a few drinks and walks away, heading further into the train and leaving me alone. I sigh and finish off the packet of snacks she gave me earlier and the drink.

“What a weird girl she is...Who just offers to help a complete stranger?” I scoot back to the spot I was in earlier and lay down. I sigh to myself and turn to face the bench. “Yea...she really is weird…”