Chapter Text
Taehyung wasn't sure how long the boy had been there. That dark-haired boy with the crutches, the boy who he was pretty sure was tall but didn't look it because he limped and slouched against his will whether he was walking or sitting, the boy who had such a forlorn yet oddly concentrated expression plastered on his handsome face. Taehyung was fairly certain the boy had been there for the entirety of the practice. And the following day's practice. And the next. And the next. He never said anything, he never approached the field. He would just sit there on the side of the field in the white bleachers, his crutches lying on the bench beside him, his back bent as he leaned forward, eyes painstakingly zeroed in on the on-field activity, and nothing else.
That was how it appeared, anyway. Taehyung admitted he didn't have the best eyesight when it came to things at a far distance, but he was fairly certain that boy never once turned his head away. Not to do so much as glance at a cloud passing in front of the sun. Not even to sneeze.
Taehyung guessed he was a fanatic. Just someone who enjoyed to watch the games, so much that he always made sure to come to the field whenever there were practices. Which was every day after school, as well as the one period during school hours provided for club activities. Convincing himself it wasn't anything to be bothered with, Taehyung found it in himself to bury the image along with his thoughts and focus solely on soccer. He had just recently joined the team, after all, and he wanted to make a good impression. And of course, he knew he had a lot to learn, so he wanted to dedicate more time to improving instead of wondering about the quiet spectator with the crutches. But he wondered anyway.
"Hey, Namjoon-ssi, do you know who that guy is?"
Without even looking up from the soccer ball he was polishing, Namjoon gave a soft sigh and pursed his lips. He was visibly hesitant. "That's Jungkook," he said. Taehyung waited for a further explanation, but Namjoon had already gone back to polishing equipment. He cleared his throat. Namjoon raised an eyebrow at him. "What?"
"I meant who is he?"
"Why don't you ask him yourself?"
"I'm socially awkward."
Namjoon scoffed, setting down one soccer ball to pick up another. "Far from it," he said. "Taehyung, I've only known you for a short time and you're one of the friendliest guys I've ever met. Everyone on the team loves you. You're not awkward."
He felt just a tad pleased at the compliment, but at the same time displeased upon not receiving the answer he was looking for. Frowning, he muttered, "Okay, but you're still avoiding the question."
"Look, I don't really wanna talk about it, Tae. Honestly, I don't even know why he came here..."
The abrupt change in tone caught Taehyung off guard. Why did Namjoon sound so serious all of a sudden? No, it wasn't just seriousness. There was an underlying sadness in the boy's voice as well. Taehyung applauded himself for being able to detect things such as this, because now he could confirm that Jungkook's being here was likely a sensitive topic, and that alone intrigued him.
He knew he would have to be cautious. Something in the pit of his stomach told him that approaching this stranger would require a different strategy than his usual way of greeting new people.
He didn't typically feel nervous around strangers, he wasn't typically an awkward person, just like Namjoon said. But oddly enough as Taehyung began to take those bold steps towards the bleachers, he didn't feel so bold at all, but rather small. The practice wasn't over. So Jungkook was still there. Unmoving, fingers interlocked and elbows resting on his thighs. However, when the boy registered that Taehyung was walking towards him and not merely in the direction of him, he straightened his posture. Gradually. Like a tortoise slowly backing up.
Upon reaching the bleachers, Taehyung had to climb up several rows of benches, because for some reason Jungkook had chosen to sit on one of the highest rows. It really did puzzle him. Jungkook had crutches. Surely getting up to that point would be a literal pain.
"Uh, excuse me?"
Jungkook had been staring at him the whole time. There was no reason for him to try to get his attention. He already had his attention. Except Taehyung didn't realize that at first, and now he felt embarrassed. Which was unlike him.
"You mind if I sit here?"
"Don't you have practice?"
"Ah-" Taehyung glanced at the field. "We're pretty much done for the day. They're just cleaning some of the equipment since it's the end of the week and all."
"Oh, right."
Such a soft voice, he had, low, yet silvery at the same time. And, just like Namjoon's, there was an underlying sadness present as well, though to a much stronger degree. Taehyung swallowed his breath.
"...so, can I sit here?"
Jungkook said nothing, but rather nodded, and Taehyung tentatively sat down next to the boy - not too close, however, since he wasn't quite sure if Jungkook wanted him here at all.
It was odd. Now that Taehyung was off the field, Jungkook was longer looking at it. His eyes were instead glued to those interlocked fingers of his, which he soon began to twiddle in silence. Every couple seconds he would glance up at the several people shooting goals, but Taehyung couldn't help but sense a lack of interest - at least to some extent. Maybe Jungkook grew tired of lifting his head. Or maybe he wasn't into it now that there was no real action going on, just a couple of people kicking balls at goalie-less nets.
Yes, that made perfect sense.
"Uh, I...guess you really like soccer, for having come here every day this week."
"...suppose I do."
Stupid, Taehyung, of course he likes soccer. Man, what happened to me not being awkward?
"How long have you been coming to watch the practices? I've only been here about a week but I've seen you every day." Taehyung leaned forward a bit to peak at Jungkook's expression, alarmed to find it sinking in spirit.
"I've only been coming here for a week."
His words were coated with heavy emotion that shut Taehyung up before he could even think of how to carry the conversation. Then, with slow movements Jungkook reached to his side to pick up his crutches, and he rose to his feet, uttering a soft, "It was nice finally meeting you," before turning his back and going on his way. And Taehyung soon felt terribly guilty for not helping the boy down from the bleachers, but he was too distracted by what Jungkook had just said.
"It was nice...finally meeting you?" He blinked. "...finally?" He then cocked his head to one side, brow furrowing as he watched Jungkook disappear from his sight. This certainly was not how he expected things to go - not that he really knew what to expect in the first place, but still...Jungkook was an odd boy. A curious one. And he made Taehyung curious.
The following week was like normal in the sense that Jungkook came to watch the soccer practices, sitting in that same spot in the bleachers, every day. Taehyung would be lying if he said he didn't glance over at him every now and then. Not that he was embarrassed to admit it or anything. There was nothing wrong with a little curiosity, after all. Taehyung simply didn't know how he would tackle the task of finding out more about Jungkook. He doubted he could ask Namjoon again. But perhaps, he thought, one of his other teammates would be willing to comply - that is, given that they knew anything at all.
"Hoseok-ssi?"
If there were anyone who would be willing to talk, it was Hoseok.
"What's up, Taetae?" The redhead asked cheerfully, sporting a wide smile that showed off his dimples. "Wait, lemme guess...you want to do a one-on-one with me, yeah?" Chuckling to himself, Hoseok placed a soccer ball atop his head and balanced it there.
"Actually, I wanted to ask if you knew anything about Jungkook?"
The ball fell off Hoseok's head. His expression sank noticeably for a few seconds, but it perked up enough for him to say, "Of course I do, Taetae. Everyone here knows Jungkook."
"Oh! Well, that's great, then." He smiled, not considering that Hoseok's statement had pretty much revealed a large part of the answer he was looking for. "Is there anything you could tell me about him? I tried talking to him last week, but he's really quiet."
Taehyung could tell that Hoseok's smile was forced now. It concerned him. With how bright the redhead typically was, both on and off the field, it was just a little bizarre to see him on the verge of a frown. Bending over slowly to pick up the ball he had dropped, Hoseok let out a deep breath through his nostrils and gave a brief nod. "I can," he said, almost inaudibly, "but can it wait? I don't think it's best to talk about when we're in the middle of practice. Besides, I'll get sad."
Sad? Taehyung's enthusiasm wavered. "Uh, yeah...okay."
It truly did make his chest tighten. Wondering what connection Jungkook could possibly have with his teammates that seemed to be such a melancholic and regrettable situation. He was sure it was. Perhaps Jungkook was this disabled boy who always dreamed of playing soccer, but couldn't, as his legs wouldn't allow it. Or maybe the damage was temporary, and Jungkook was impatiently waiting for his legs to heal so that he could join the team. Or perhaps it was something totally different. Taehyung didn't know. But he wanted to. So for the very first time he anticipated the end of practice, wishing that time would fast forward so that he could sit down with Hoseok and learn just what was wrong with Jungkook.
About forty-five minutes later and Taehyung spotted his redheaded teammate waving him over at one side of the field. Practice was officially over. And it seemed Hoseok hadn't forgotten what he claimed to do. Not wanting to keep him waiting, Taehyung hurried over to the boy and sat down beside him on the bench he was on. Hoseok handed him a water bottle.
"Thanks."
"No problem."
There was a long stretch of silence before Hoseok spoke again, and in that time Taehyung peered over at the spot in the bleachers where Jungkook always sat. He had left by this point.
"I assume...since you asked," Hoseok began, folding his hands over his knee, "that you noticed he's been here everyday."
"Since I've joined, yeah," Taehyung added with a nod of the head. "He told me he's been watching the practices for about a week."
Hoseok hummed softly. "And I'm sure you've noticed how his eyes are always fixed on you."
As a reaction of shock, Taehyung's back straightened all on its own, and he stared at Hoseok's expression, puzzled, and hesitant as he replied, "No, I haven't noticed." He pursed his lips. "I don't have the best long-distance eyesight."
Hoseok hummed again. "Well, he has," he said. "And the main reason for that is because you took the position that he gave up."
The words were spoken so calmly, quietly, but Taehyung could clearly hear how weighted they were. He could see how they threatened to weigh down the corners of Hoseok's mouth, as well. Taehyung felt a twinge in his chest.
"He was on the team?"
"Our best player," the redhead replied immediately. He smiled ever so slightly. "But Hell likes to drag down angels, Taetae, and it succeeded this time. A little while ago...a few weeks, close to a month, I'd say...Jungkook got into a freak car accident. He got away with just some bruises on one leg, while the other was essentially...crushed. And the doctors were real blunt with him and told Guk he could never play soccer again. No, the damage was too severe, and there was nothing they could do about it, and they told him that, to be safe, it was best he start using a wheelchair to get around. But he's a stubborn one. Refuses to use a wheelchair. You saw him with the crutches...those things are typically used for temporary injuries, or to get around in places where a wheelchair isn't convenient. But Guk uses them all the time now. Because in the back of his mind, he wants so desperately for the damage to be temporary. He doesn't want to accept that he'll never be on this field again."
Hoseok's lip quivered. He bit down on it as though to stop the quivering, but that couldn't hide the tears that had begun to well in his eyes without his knowing. Once he registered he was near to crying, the boy's hand shot up and hastily rubbed away the evidence, but it was too late. Taehyung had already seen it.
"See, I knew I'd only get emotional." Hoseok laughed in spite of himself. "Ah, jeez...it's so depressing. The kid didn't do anything wrong. But really..." He hung his head, and Taehyung heard him sniffle. "I wish he wouldn't come to the practices. It's probably torture for him, I'm sure. But he won't let anyone stop him. And you know, I'm not quite sure if any of us have spoken to him since he started coming here. I mean, we all visited the hospital after the accident happened, but I think...we're all just a little too afraid of facing him. Myself included."
The way Hoseok lowered his voice before uttering those last two words hinted at a strong presence of shame within the boy. It showed in his posture, too, how he had gradually begun to shrink into himself with every second. Taehyung didn't know what to say. Or if he should say anything at all. Hoseok was right, he thought. It was depressing. Hearing it had made his heart sink deep in his chest, and recalling the forlorn expression on Jungkook's face made it worse.
"Do you think he hates me?"
Clearly Hoseok hadn't anticipated that question. The abrupt raising of his head and his ajar mouth were enough to tell Taehyung that much. Should they not have been, though, Hoseok asked, "What on earth are you talking about, Tae?"
"You know, for taking his place. Do you think he hates me for it?"
"No...no, Jungkook's not that kind of person," the redhead answered after a few long seconds of contemplating. He understood why Taehyung would ask such a thing. But in his heart, he knew there was no way it could be the case. So he said again, "He's not that kind of person."
"You said he was watching me the whole time," Taehyung reminded him. "You don't think it's because he resents me for filling his position?"
"Tae, he's just upset and confused and troubled right now." Hoseok placed a hand on Taehyung's shoulder which urged the boy to look him in the eye. "He was just watching you because he misses standing where you stand. Don't take it personally, okay? Jungkook...wouldn't hate anybody for a reason like that. I swear it. Do you understand?"
He nodded to show he had heard what was said to him, but Taehyung still couldn't shake the terrible feeling in his chest, nor the inexplicable cloud of guilt now hovering over him.
"Taetae, c'mon, now."
He felt Hoseok drape an arm around his shoulders and pull him a bit closer.
"Don't blame yourself, alright? It's got nothin' to do with you. But, if you're so sure about what you're feeling, why don't you talk to him?" He used his free hand to pat Taehyung's head, gently ruffling the boy's coffee brown hair. "I know it sounds strange, but he'd probably open up to you before he did with any of us."
"But you're his former teammates-"
"And you're the kid who's wearing his shoes now." Hoseok smiled that dimply smile of his, which inexplicably made Taehyung want to smile, too, and it encouraged him, because Hoseok just had that kind of effect on people.
"Okay. I'll talk to him," Taehyung said. "But what do I say to him?"
"Just be his friend, Taetae. That's the first step to mending any broken heart."