Work Text:
ONLY A JOY
I can’t describe what I feel for this kid, I honestly can’t.
I have always established a lot of good relationships with everyone, with some more beautiful than others.
Then comes this guy and literally overwhelms my life.
I care, I want him to succeed and not only this. I want he realizes all his dreams.
Perhaps I see myself again in him and I see that he cares as much as I do in my presence.
Today I realize it after his game of the year in a surface that doesn’t belong to him.
You do this only when you care so much and I know what it means to keep it to the point of getting to a grueling fifth set in a hot mortal like this.
I know how you stay there.
He cares about me as I care about him.
When I go back into the locker room I find him sitting on the bench in front of his corner, his things still unmade, the towel in part, his droplets of sweat have dried and remains leaned forward, elbows on his knees, the air lost. Destroyed.
My heart is tight and something tears me apart.
I hugged and held tight to encourage him, but I know that it doesn’t always work, it’s not always enough to not give up, just like ‘I know you will win and you will get one day '.
It’s not enough.
And if he takes so much about me to the point of doing the best game of the year and strenuously struggling in a place where we just have to die, then it means that it’s not enough just a hand on the shoulder.
I sit next to him while I'm already taking off the shirt.
Shirtless I sit next to him and put a hand on his back, gently caress him, I get on his head, his hair wet and sweaty. He recognizes me and makes a sad smile and maybe this is worse.
- What do you do when you've bet everything on one thing and that thing goes wrong? - He asks softly.
- You take a shower and wash everything away. - Domi doesn’t look at me.
- Just this? - He asks defeated and crushed. I lean towards him and with my arm around his back, my lips on his shoulder.
I know what it takes, I know what pulls you up when is like that.
- No. - I whisper, at this answer he turns the face and looks at me, we find ourselves close and I have that look, that look that erases all my background and that lives the present as if there were nothing around.
There are people I love and people that I like and people who freak me out. My life is uncontrolled, it is the moment of the moment, I do what I owe in the present, I live the moment.
And now the moment is this.
The moment brings me here and I live without thinking about it.
Not for love, not for some feelings. Just because I care and I want to do something for him, because this kid, for me, counts.
I take the edge of his tight shirt and lift it up to take it off. He looks at me frowning without understanding, but I go like a train, as usual.
In this mode anything can stop me.
I get up, take off my shorts and sports briefs in front of him, staring at me in shock, still lost. I nod to take off his shoes and he, like an automaton, hypnotized by me, does it.
Then I hold out his hand, take it, lift it and lean over in front of him, I take off the rest of his clothes and he doesn’t breathe.
He doesn’t believe what is happening and still does nothing, doesn’t react, doesn’t speak.
I pull him to the area of the showers, I open the hot water and after a few moments I put him under it, I leave there to make effect. I look at him as he stares at me disturbed and then feels. He feels the pleasure of the water that slides over his head, on his skin, sweet and enveloping and closes his eyes, he relaxes completely, leaves his head back and lets himself go.
And it is here that I reach him under his own jet, I take his face in my hands and gently put my lips on his.
Domi tenses a moment, opens his eyes and I immediately put my fingers on his eyelids holding them closed, the lips on the ears whisper to stay.
- Let go. - When Roger did it with me after a resounding defeat that destroyed me, I was reborn.
And I think that roughly Domi keeps me as I was in Roger at the time.
The hands descend on his body, drive the water and slowly come back to relax, the eyes still closed and the body at my commodity.
The fingers slide on his shoulders and on his chest.
Slow, together with the water, I go on his belly, leans his shoulders against the smooth wall, my lips on his neck to suck and lick. I drink water from his skin.
- I am in love with Sascha ... - I smile as he says as if trying to remember.
- I got that. - I respond amused descending on the chest with lips. His arms abandoned at his sides. - I love Roger too. - and I have a strange relationship with Nole too, but it's complicated to explain.
Domi frowns but does’t detach me, I continue to go down with my lips, I kneel in front of him, the water is not so warm and covers us in part.
- How do you do then ...? - can’t finish the sentence, my hands are taking care of his erection that doesn’t remember well as his head that is with Sascha.
Or at least he would like ...
- I have no commitments to anyone, Roger is married, I have a cover relationship with my best friend, Francisca. I don’t ask for anything, they don’t have to ask me anything. - I answer as the tongue runs around his groin. He sighs louder and louder.
- Do what you want, in short ... - summarizes. I giggle.
- Having sex with one doesn’t prevent me from loving another. There are many reasons for having sex. If I stop something, I ruin the relationship that matters to me. - I try to explain it to him while I'm about to give him a nice present and I don’t know if anyone other than Nole is able to understand my sense of freedom.
But then he says nothing, moans louder and so I take his excited erection in my mouth after his hands on my hair accompany me. His moans grow and while I’m having fun, I masturbate alone thinking a little to Roger, a little to Nole, a little maybe I don’t even know myself.
After I let the water run over both of us, I lift myself up, take his face in my hands and kiss him gently.
- You will overcome this day and you will remain impressed as the most beautiful of your life. And you'll have other splendid joys, you'll see. - with this I take the soap and start to wash myself.
I have no idea I just put Domi in existential crisis and that now besides dying behind Sascha, he will inevitably die behind me too.