Chapter Text
Shuuichi watched as Kaito walked into the school building, smiling and talking to the people who had practically swarmed him as soon as he’d entered the school gate. Or, more accurately, talking to the people that had swarmed him three-point-five seconds after he’d entered the school gate. Kaito was one of the most popular people in school for good reason. He was one of the smartest people there, even though his easygoing attitude made most mistake him for an idiot. Not only was he smart, he was also athletic - he was one of the top football players in school. He could probably get a football scholarship if he wanted, he was just that good!
But he wouldn’t be doing that, oh no. He’d had his heart set on becoming an astronaut since he was a child, and he’d been working towards that goal for years. He was determined to pursue that goal, and he was on a good, fast track to achieve it. His grades were fantastic, and, a fact that most students didn’t know: the majority of his courses were AP classes! And he was acing them, making it look as if it was effortless. It was so invigorating to watch and wait for Kaito’s latest test grade to get uploaded into the database! It had been a bit of a hassle to hack into Kaito’s specific grade database, but it was worth it. Just watching his beloved Kaito score high grades and get closer and closer to his dream was so energizing! It always sent a jolt down his spine, a jolt of pure joy, whenever it happened.
...maybe not always pure, but that was besides the point. The point was that anything and everything Kaito did was si amazing and perfect that it made Shuuichi feel giddy whenever he was lucky enough to witness it.
It was especially interesting to watch Kaito exercising. It was just enthralling to watch his muscles ripple and flex, showing off how strong they were. The way that his skin would glosten with sweat was tantalizing. And whenever Kaito had to pant to catch his breath, something about the sound always made him feel a little… excited.
And Kaito wasn't only sexy; he could be cute, too!
He was simply adorable whenever he was doing homework! On the particularly puzzling questions, his eyebrows would furrow slightly and he would glare at them in the cutest way possible. On the hellishly difficult questions, he sometimes ended up chewing his tongue a bit. And when he’d finished whichever assignment he'd been doing, he always smiled a little and just looked so proud of himself… it nearly broke Shuuichi's heart from how cute it was! Pictures of small animals were forever relegated to the trash bin: Kaito was the single most adorable thing Shuuichi had ever had the privilege of seeing in his lifetime.
He would never get enough of Kaito. Shuuichi sighed, feeling almost stupidly happy. He watched as the last of the entourage surrounding Kaito finished dragged themselves into the building, trailing behind him like the wandering dogs they were. He closed his eyes, visualizing what would happen next.
They would follow Kaito as he went to his locker, making mundane conversation all the while. Then, as Kaito opened his locker and began preparing for class, majority of them would leave, citing some generic excuse, going to prepare for their own classes, leaving only a few people around Kaito. Those people would be his closest friends: Kirumi Tojo, Rantarou Amami and Kaede Akamatsu. They would usually linger for a little while, talking about more inane things, before they would disband to their own lockers, only to meet up again in their first period class, AP World History. A class that he, coincidentally, happened to be in.
Shuuichi opened his eyes, trying to quell the sudden rush of excitement he felt.
Luckily for him, no one would suspect him of monitoring Kaito so closely. He’d made sure of that. He’d positioned himself in a way that, depending on the angle from where you looked up, made him look as if he’d been staring at something else entirely if anyone happened to look up and see him. Thankfully for him, the odds were usually in his favor. When people weren’t babbling about complete nonsense, their eyes were superglued to their phones, the floor or - on rare occasions - books. Useless, that’s what they all were. Useless, without purpose or ambition. They were only fit for one-time use, and it was never good to have prolonged contact with them.
He could barely look at all of them without feeling sick.
To put it bluntly, it wasn't as if you could interact well with something you could barely see clearly. They all blended into the same uniform shade of grey, and picking out a specific person to look at was an endeavor that was useless ninety nine percent of the time.
The world was coated in shades of white and grey, and they were the lightest shade of grey he had seen so far. It wasn't the shade of light grey a small child would use to color in their first drawings of an elephant, oh no. It was the color of cement dust.
His eyes watered uncomfortably at the thought.
They were such a light shade of grey. So light, so fleeting, so hard to focus on. Fickle birds that refused to find a place to rest. Their interests varied so much it was amazing to imagine that they managed to single out a potential future occupation. Their hobbies were completely and utterly stupid, serving as disposable chew toys for moronic dogs. They would grow up with this grey haze obscuring them and they would die with it. Unimportant, useless, disposable. That’s what they all were. Just the same blend of bland, unappealing light grey, never interesting, never worthwhile.
He hated them. He hated that light grey. Unassuming, subservient, conforming, average. Just staying near them for too long made him feel sick, not just looking at them. They blended together into something appallingly ordinary just by standing in groups. The problem was that they were everywhere, so it couldn’t be escaped. The worst part was the fact that they couldn't even keep their color to themselves. Every single thing they touched was tainted with that ever-present light grey fog, and Shuuichi hated it oh so much… As a detective, he naturally sharp observational skills..however, when ecru single thing you had to look at was cloaked in this light grey mist, it was difficult to pinpoint delicate details. It would just make his job so much easier if there were less of them to obscure details with their aura.
The blotched ones were marginally better, he thought, going to his seat. Some of them realized how bland and boring they were, and they tried to make up for it. Their attempts at making themselves stand out were pitiful, but at the very least it showed that they had the motivation to do something. An eccentric hairstyle, some lavishly expensive accessories, a new phone charm or a new phone case. Nicer looking shoes, an expensive pencil case, a colorfully decorated binder, adopting a new writing style, or using fancy pens. Anything to make them stand out, while still remaining within the school guidelines. No sane person wanted to be forgotten after all, and the only way to do that would be to stand out. For all their efforts, they still remained grey. A darker, splotchier looking grey, but still grey. If they managed to become particularly eccentric, they would turn into the dark grey of wet concrete mixture. Grey was still ordinary, whether light. blotched or dark. They were all sheep, being herded around by society, unable to think of anything to make themselves truly unique.
He hated them. They were so feeble, it was pathetically easy to tools them this way and that, to use them, to manipulate them however he wanted, to pick and choose and use and throw out. It was a game to him. A twisted game, but a game nonetheless. It was all they were good for, after all. They didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
The people who mattered weren’t grey. They they stood out from the crowd, and they were few and far between. Black, red and pink. The supposed holy trinity of colors, in his eyes. The three auras of importance. Were they auras? He didn’t know. What he did know was that for now, he was the only one who could see them. These colours just seemed to hang over people, either dulling or brightening their natural colors, and depending on the concentration of people, would affect the objects they preferred to hang around.
The ordinary people hadn't always been so aggravating. When he was younger, they'd had more color to them, and they seemed to have some semblance of individuality. Now… he didn't know whether his worldview had changed or they had. The shades of gray just blended into each other and collectively faded over time, leaving him both confused and disgusted.
You started getting sick of people when they practically coated the entire world in an everlasting coat of unrelenting mist. At the very least, he could clear it away by touching it. Red overpowered grey. Every other color overpowered grey, to be honest. The problem was that other colors were very, very rare. Rare to the point where it was a treat to see another person who wasn’t grey.
Like Kaito. His aura was a beautiful, amazingly bright pink that easily bled into everything he touched, as if he was a benevolent god who had been gracious enough to liven up the zombie-like atmosphere of the school. Shuuichi looked over at Kaito’s desk, where a beautiful mist of dark pink settled as if it innately knew it belonged there.
He blushed, taking out his phone. He was grateful that he had a class with Kaito… it was one of the best coincidences he’d experienced in his life. Being able to observe Kaito from a distance was amazing on its own, but being able to observe him in such a close proximity was something truly wondrous. It was almost a wonder that he managed to pay attention to the subject matter being taught in class. Kaito was definitely a much more interesting subject… He was sure that he had an encyclopedia’s worth of knowledge in his head about Kaito. He could tell what mood Kaito was in at a quick glance, and more often than not, what had put him in said mood. He knew what Kaito did at school, what he did at home, what he did in so many other places…
If Kaito was a flame, Shuuichi was a moth. If Kaito was a drug, Shuuichi was addicted to him. Ever since they’d first met, Shuuichi had felt something making him gravitate towards him.
That wasn’t to say that their first meeting was anything significant. They’d both been snot-nosed brats in elementary school, and, it wasn’t even a meeting. Everything was all on Shuuichi. Even back then, he’d wanted to escape the endless, miserable sea of grey, and he’d been boredly gazing around the lunchroom. At first, there had been nothing but grey, and he’d initially felt discouraged. Everyone was a boring, flat shade of grey, and he was feeling tears build up in his eyes because he didn’t want to be the only one who was colorful.
Then he saw a flash of something, it was… it was a boy. It was a boy and he was glowing pink! He wasn’t grey like everyone else! He wasn’t the only colorful one! He’d felt the tears dry up, and a bright smile crawl onto his face. The pink boy started looking up, and he’d quickly averted his gaze, looking at his lap. Maybe there was something good in the world after all.
Every day after that, he’d scanned the lunchroom crowd, looking for that pink glow, that small drop of hope in the sea of nothing. At the time he couldn’t do anything else but that - Kaito had been in a different class. It was during middle school that he’d finally been able to observe Kaito as much as he’d wanted. Now, in high school, he’d perfectly refined his technique. Being an apprentice detective was a helpful asset here, and since he specialised in homicide cases, he had a bit of an edge on all of this, than if he specialized in, say, missing persons or infidelity cases. He knew how some killers stalked their victims before finally murdering them, he knew how they fucked up. He knew everything the police would look for first.
Consequently, he knew exactly how to avoid suspicion. Sometimes he couldn’t observe Kaito as directly as he wanted to, but he’d found a way to keep track of what Kaito was doing, with a bit of external assistance. A small red dot appeared over the messaging app on his phone, and he felt his heart leap for joy. He quickly tapped over it and immediately started typing a brief message of thanks.
Getting to know Kokichi had been simultaneously one of the best and worst things Shuuichi had ever done in his life. Kokichi was far from easy to get to know, and it had taken years to gain his trust. Even now, he didn’t know everything about the boy, but he knew that some boundries took time to cross, and he wasn’t about to push away someone he considered a close friend. He wasn’t stupid, after all. Even though they were good friends, neither of them were looking to start anything stupid. They both knew secrets about the other that would shred both of their reputations to confetti - that was how bad it was. Luckily, neither of them were looking to do anything like that.
“I hope that my beloved Saihara-chan will enjoy his daily dose of voyeurism! Nishishi!” Shuuichi couldn’t help but smirk at Kokichi’s mannerisms. It translated very well to text "- he could hear Kokichi’s voice in his head as he read it.
Attached to the text was a four minute video. Four minutes and seventeen seconds to be exact. His mouth watered, four minutes and seventeen seconds following Kaito’s brief routine before he came to class. He couldn’t wait to watch it.
Speaking of class, some of his classmates started trickling in. They were all preoccupied with gossiping about something, not paying him much attention. It was a regular, understandable thing, since he sat in the last row of the class, as well as in a seat that wasalmost wedged into a corner. Obviously, ittook some time for him to be noticed. A few of his classmates still noticed him rather quickly regardless and they waved to him. He waved back, smiling a little.
Tsumugi, Kaede, Tojo and Rantaro. They usually noticed him, he was used to that. Maki briefly glanced his way as she made her way to her seat, and he had to prevent himself from recoiling in disgust. Something about her just rubbed him the wrong way - he couldn’t lay a finger on it, but something seemed slightly off about her. Not only had she gone out of her way to make herself unlikeable, she had snubbed the most likeable people in the class for no real reason. She’d even gone and insulted Kaito, of all people! Kaito! That was unforgivable in his eyes.
Demented bitch, that was what she was. Shuuichi worked to keep a neutral expression. Unlike Hoshi she didn’t even have any good reason to act that way. Besides that, Hoshi was starting to liven up a bit, out of his own accord too! That was a recent development that everyone was happy about. He'd had a needlessly hard life, and even he could appreciate the amount of strength it took to be able to move on from experiences like that. Speaking of Hoshi, he nodded at Shuuichi as he walked to his seat. Shuuichi nodded back, smiling. That was just Hoshi’s normal way of greeting people. He was a nice person, he just didn’t show it often. No one could fully fault him for that anyway, what with how life had screwed him over.
Shuuichi scanned over the rest of the class. Kaede and Tsumugi were eagerly babbling about something, gesturing frantically and practically bouncing in their seats. He listened a bit more closely, just for fun. Another magical girl show? Hmm. It dealt with an intergalactic war? Interesting.
He wondered what Kaito might think about it. He always loved shows that were set in space or about aliens. He wondered if Kaito liked magical girls. Maybe, maybe not. Personally, he didn’t really like them. They were generally too saccharine and heavy on the friendship-is-magic nonsense for his taste. He didn’t appreciate the needless fanservice either.
Looking at the rest of the class, he saw Tojo and Rantaro having a much quieter discussion. This seemed more tolerable, and they weren’t glowing as brightly either. Kaede and Tsumugi were glowing bright pink and red respectively, and since they sat next to each other it was quickly blending into an admittedly nice reddish pink. Rantaro and Tojo were making a nice pink-tinted black. Shuuichi eyed Rantaro’s aura. It was a silky-looking black that slowly diffused into whatever Rantaro touched. It was interesting to look at, but it was less alluring than Kaito’s bold, purplish pink. Maybe that was the reason why Kokichi had quickly become enamoured with him.
To put it into perspective, Rantaro had transferred into the school last year. And as soon Kokichi had laid eyes on the guy, Shuuichi had sworn he’d seen a familiar spark light up in Kokichi’s eyes.
They never really seemed to talk much in class, but Shuuichi saw how their auras mingled. If they weren’t officially dating, they were at least fucking reguarly. At least they were being subtle, unlike most couples or fuckbuddies on the campus. Speaking of couples, he needed to check the video soon.
More people filtered into the classroom and, predictably, Kokichi wasn’t a part of them. He was always laying the groundwork for some sort of scheme, so Shuuichi had long since stopped worrying about him. The worrying thing was that Kaito wasn’t there. Not that Kaito had never come late to class before, but nothing he’d been doing lately suggested that he would have any reason to come to class late this time around. He felt a bit nervous… watching the video would help him calm down.
He unlocked his phone again (the screen had turned off), muted his phone and opened the video, holding his phone in a way that made sure no one in front of him would be able to see what he was watching. He hit play.
Kaito got his books from his locker, checking his phone and smiling. He’d passed his most recent tests - Shuuichi had checked earlier - and the pride on his face was heartwarming. He fiddled with his phone for a little while longer, most likely texting someone. Then he gathered all the things he needed for his first few classes, shut his locker and started walking… in the opposite direction of this class.
Shuuichi’s eyebrows furrowed, and his eyes narrowed. This was only around the one minute mark, so there would obviously be more coming. But what did this mean? He had no idea what it could be.
Kaito walked through the school building casually, as if there was absolutely nothing amiss. Some people saw him, and there were a few dazed, happy stares, some people who scuttled out of sight like hermit crabs, and only a few who managed to act like normal people and say hello, or just wave.
So Kokichi must have framed this to look like some sort of photography project. Even at that, something seemed a little off with how Kaito was acting. Kaito always did things with purpose, but something seemed a bit predatory about this video. He had no idea why, but even though he should have felt afraid, he felt excited, a little giddy. His breathing got a little shallower, a little faster.
Kaito walked into the library, flashing a bright smile at the librarian while saying hello, and the librarian smiled back, waving. That sparked up the mood in the library, with people straightening up, smiling, waving, doing anything to be seen on camera, even if only for a second. The atmosphere in the library seemed lifted, yet Shuuichi still felt uneasy about all of this. Kokichi would never send Shuuichi anything that was just an artistic project unless they had deliberated on it beforehand. There had been no talk about anything resembling that for a month.
Kaito walked through the library quickly, going to the back of the library. Alarm bells went off in his head. That was a definite warning sign. Absolutely nobody went to the back of the library in the morning without a very serious ulterior motive.
Shuuichi felt his heart speed up quickly, and his breathing became irregular, he sucked in a soft gasp, and he swore his jaw felt weak. He could feel people staring at him, but he didn’t care. He felt himself start shaking a little as Kaito stopped walking, in a part of the library that barely anyone knew about.
He walked up to a desk, with papers neatly stacked on top of it. Shuuichi felt like he was going to die. What did this mean? Kaito put down his things and turned over the papers. They had large letters on them, and it looked like a generic font. Kaito held one up to the camera-
Shuuichi felt himself shaking.
“I know who you are, Shuuichi Saihara,” the paper read.
“I know how much you like me.”
“I know that you stalk me.”
“I know exactly what you think about the people who hang around me.”
“Also, nice trick you pulled with tracking my grades! You’re pretty smart, I'll give you that.”
“I wouldn’t have even known that you were stalking me, you know?”
“Luckily, someone gave me a few pointers.”
“How many times have you jacked off to those pictures you like taking of me when I’m working out?”
Kaito had an ungodly smirk on his face as he rotated through the papers, holding them up to the camera. It would have been sexy in any other situation, but now it almost made Shuuichi want to throw up.
Kokichi had gone and exposed like this?! Why?! What had he done to deserve this? And what would Kaito think about him now? Oh god, he probably seemed like some sort of sick freak. Kaito would never love him now, and if he’d reported this his fucking livelihood was at stake! His uncle would disown him, he’d never be able to solve another case, restraining orders, oh he was fucked over for life-
“Calm down,” the newest paper said. “Breathe in, breathe out.”
Shuuichi felt himself complying, calming down his breathing. His mind was numb with shock and he couldn’t register anything apart from the feeling of nervous sweat on his forehead. He felt something coming towards him and he flinched backwards. The awful screech of chair leg against tile and the vibration running down his back meant that he’d backed into a wall.
“Get out of class and come to the library. Don’t bother bringing anything apart from your phone.”
The video ended, and Shuuichi instantly turned off the phone screen. His hand moved to cover his mouth as he practically sprinted to the door, oblivious to his classmates.
All he could hear was jumbled screaming and babbling, but he couldn’t care less. What did Kaito want? Did he even have a chance with him after this? Was there a way he could salvage this? What was Kaito’s ulterior motive in this? Why had Kokichi done this?!
His mind was practically imploding in on itself, and he was running as fast as he could to the library, his classmate’s worrying be damned.
He felt desperate, almost animalistic. Kaito had to love him, no matter what. That was all he knew. He had no idea what the hell he was going to do now… Kaito hadn’t reacted overly negatively, so maybe there was some hope left?
He made his way to the library as quickly as he could, hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.