Archive of Our Own

Excitement was building with every passing moment, each new car that pulled up bringing a fresh surge of hysteria from the crowd. Famous faces were passing by in a blur, chased by flurries of camera flashes, but Woojin was only there to see one person. He clutched his camera closer to his chest, trying to ignore the screaming pain in his ribs where they were being crushed into the metal barriers by the mob behind him, and balanced on his tiptoes to try and get a better look at the black car that had just pulled up at the end of the red carpet.

“Is that him?” Daehwi asked from beside him, also trying to see around the gaggle of photographers who were blocking their view.

Woojin squinted. “No, it’s Hwang Minhyun,” he said somewhat dejectedly. “But that’s nearly the whole cast now, so he must be coming soon.”

“They’ll be saving him until last,” Daehwi sighed. “They know most people are here to see him anyway.”

It was approaching twelve hours since they’d arrived at the theatre, along with the rest of the fans desperate to be at the front, and Woojin was sure his legs were about to give out any moment. With such a star-studded cast, he had known the premiere of Sandglass was bound to be a popular event, but the turnout was even bigger than anticipated and they’d spent most of the day fighting off the hoardes, mostly teenage girls, that had built around them.

As Woojin fiddled with the settings on his camera, the screaming soared up to a new volume that he hadn’t heard all day, which he knew could only mean one thing.

Park Jihoon.

A child sensation now grown up, he’d first caught people’s attention appearing in a toothpaste commercial at the age of 8, featuring the infamous ‘nae maeum soge jeojang’ line which had launched him to international fame. Piles of movie deals had followed, and his popularity had continued to grow, which is where 12-year-old Woojin staring wide eyed at the pretty boy on the cinema screen comes into the story. Shortly after this Jihoon turned his attention from films to the theatre, much to Woojin’s delight, because plays gave him the chance to see Jihoon in person. Which is what he and Daehwi, an (almost) equally as big of a fan, had been doing for the past four years.

Jihoon’s natural ability in front of cameras never failed to amaze Woojin, as he watched his idol pose for the row of photographers, an untouchably demure expression adorning his perfect features. He was so captivated he almost forgot to raise his own camera, rushing to snap good pictures to add to his scrapbook. He watched Jihoon through the viewfinder, adjusting the zoom in order to get the right focus, until he suddenly found he couldn’t zoom out any further. Weird, maybe it’s stuck, he thought, lowering the camera to take a proper look and feeling his heart drop into his stomach when he realised, nope, it’s not stuck, he’s actually only a few metres away from me. Jihoon moved along the crowd, flashing his winning smile, taking as many photos as they demanded. At one point he winked into the crowd, another move that had become his signature, meriting another ear-piercing shriek. The next thing Woojin knew, Jihoon was mere inches away. His body moved on autopilot, thrusting a photo and black marker into the boy’s hands. As Jihoon handed the photo back signed, Woojin caught his eyes for the briefest second and all but melted as Daehwi took him by the shoulders and shook him.

The screams of the crowd faded into nothing as Woojin stared at the photo, slightly creased from how often he’d carried it with him, hoping one day he would get the chance to have it signed, tracing his finger over the black scrawl. That was the moment he’d made the decision.

I want to do that. I want to be like him.

 ...

THREE YEARS LATER

...

10:02am

woojin: DAEHWI

woojin: DAEHWI

woojin: DAEHWI

woojin: THIS IS NOT A DRILL

woojin: EMERGENCY

woojin: SOS SOS SOS

woojin: lee daehwi i can SEE u read this now f u c k i n g reply before i explode

daehwi: that would be messy

woojin: NOW IS NOT THE TIME!!!

woojin: GUESS WHO IS HERE

daehwi: BITCH WHO

woojin: jeojang himself

daehwi: …

daehwi: nice try im not that gullible

woojin: I WISH I WAS JOKING

woojin: HE’S RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME

daehwi: pics or it didnt happen

woojin:  picture attached

daehwi: fuck OFF

woojin: BET

This was probably the biggest audition of Woojin’s life. Since dropping all his life plans at 16 to completely change course and join theatre school, he’d tried out for countless roles; mostly ensemble, a few where he’d had one line, but nothing on a scale like this. He’d been rehearsing his audition piece for months, boring Daehwi to tears, and the nerves he’d felt before leaving that morning had left his stomach feeling like lead.

But nothing had compared to walking into that room and seeing Park Jihoon sitting right there, as if he was just as normal as the rest of them, reading over his audition piece like everyone else. Woojin had barely stifled his gasp as he hurried to the seat as far away from Jihoon as possible, before immediately pulling out his phone to text Daehwi.

10:04am

daehwi: TALK to him loser!!

woojin: shut up no way

daehwi: just casually

daehwi: you can pretend you dont even know who he is

woojin: i still have a poster of him on my wardrobe

daehwi: HE DOESNT NEED TO KNOW THAT

Allowing himself to steal a glance across the room, Woojin noticed that Jihoon actually looked quite nervous. He was bouncing his leg, wringing his fingers together, mouth moving slightly as he recited his lines to himself. What does he have to be nervous about, Woojin thought to himself. Doesn’t he get every role he goes for?

At that moment Jihoon’s eyes darted over and caught Woojin staring, who hastily looked away. He was transported back to that night three years ago, the Sandglasspremiere, where Woojin had first made the decision to pursue acting. Since then he’d been too busy with theatre school and his job to keep up with Jihoon as much as before, but he’d still been making sure he saw all of his plays (and of course there was that poster on the wardrobe which he definitely didn’t blow a kiss to every night).

Seeing Jihoon now was so different to that electric night at the premiere. Back then he’d been Park Jihoon the celebrity, plastering on smiles for the cameras, waving to his adoring fans. Now there was a vulnerability to him, he seemed so human and real. Like Woojin could maybe even speak to him.

Maybe it was these thoughts running through his head that made Woojin so bold, but when the assistant came to fetch Jihoon, and he followed her right past Woojin, he looked directly at Jihoon and called out “Good luck!”

Jihoon looked at him, slightly surprised, and the hesitation was all it took to make Woojin lose every scrap of confidence he’d had two seconds before. But then the boy smiled.

“Thank you,” he said, nodding graciously to Woojin, before the door closed behind him.

10:17am

woojin: please fucking EUTHANISE me

—✦—

“And then he just said ‘thank you’ and walked out.”

Daehwi was shaking his head in disbelief, having been listening to every word of Woojin’s story with a child-like amazement.

“Imagine if 16 year old you, dropping out of high school to go pursue theatre because of Park Jihoon, would have known one day you’d be auditioning for the same play.”

Woojin scoffed lightly. “I think that says more about his career than mine. He hasn’t done anything major since Sandglass, and if he’s ended up in the same audition as me it’s probably already over for him.”

Daehwi chewed his way through another handful of crisps. “I wonder if he was reading for the same role as you, or”- he paused, looking at Woojin with a glint in his eye. “Or the romantic interest.”

Woojin rolled his eyes. “Probably mine, since that’s the main part. Which means he’ll get it instead of me, which means I’ve already lost this, which means I need to start looking for something else.”

“Don’t give up so easily,” Daehwi scolded him. “When do you find out?”

“They said we should have an email by 5pm if we’re in.”

“Great,” Daehwi grinned. “Then let’s get takeout and watch Netflix.”

No matter how hard he tried to convince himself he probably wouldn’t get the role, and he didn’t care that much anyway, Woojin’s nerves continued to build as the day went on. Something inside him wanted that role, and just maybe it really wanted to work with Park Jihoon.

By the time 5pm was approaching, Woojin had the email app open on his phone, desperately refreshing every few seconds as Daehwi watched from over his shoulder muttering words of encouragement. 4:57 and he started to feel disappointed. 4:58 and he was sure it wasn’t going to come. 4:59 and he sighed, putting the phone down.

“I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

Daehwi suddenly gasped. “Look!”

A new email had just arrived, and before Woojin had even grabbed his phone he saw that it was from the theatre company. His eyes scanned the text, the nerves making him jittery, trying to pick out the most important words.

Congratulations…

…lead role…

…with Park Jihoon.

Daehwi was cheering and hugging him, but all Woojin could do was smile, because something was telling him that this was finally his big chance.

—✦—

2:54pm

woojin: is it too late to drop out and go home

Woojin had never been the most socially confident person, but now he was surrounded by strangers who all seemed to know each other, not to even mention the fact that Jihoon was standing barely metres away, and he was suddenly terrified. He felt like he didn’t belong, like too much of a small fish in a big pond, and maybe coming for this audition had been a mistake.

2:55pm

daehwi: yes it is! shut up and have fun. u can do this :)

Feeling slightly more encouraged by his best friend, Woojin put his phone in his pocket and took a deep breath. This was the first read-through of the play, and the last thing he wanted was to mess it up.

“Hey!” came a friendly voice from behind him, and Woojin turned to see a boy, probably around his age, with sharp cut features and a mop of dark hair that on anyone else would have looked like it needed cutting, but somehow it worked on him.

“Hi,” Woojin greeted him back, putting on his best confident smile.

“Sorry, you’re the only other person here who looks around my age and I don’t want to spend my whole time doing this play being a loner.” He offered a hand out. “I’m Jinyoung.”

“Woojin,” he replied, shaking his hand. “Thank you for making me look like less of a loner too.”

Jinyoung flashed a smile that made his nose scrunch up. “No problem. I also kind of wanted the scoop on that guy,” he said, gesturing subtly in Jihoon’s direction. “You know anything about him?”

Woojin froze for a second, unsure of how to approach this conversation. He wasn’t about to reveal the full extent of his teenage obsession, but was also wary of lying since, in Daehwi’s words, he was a ‘really super shitty liar’.

“I’ve seen quite a lot of his plays,” Woojin replied, trying to maintain a disinterested tone of voice. “He’s pretty talented. As for him as a person though, I have no idea.”

Jinyoung considered this for a moment, watching Jihoon chat and laugh his way through the room of people he seemed to know very well. “I think he’s too sure of himself. Over-confident, entitled, privileged, you know? Although I imagine you getting the main part over him probably knocked him down a peg.”

Woojin frowned. “Wait, what? He went for my part?”

Jinyoung turned back to Woojin, looking slightly confused. “You didn’t know? I heard they’d basically already given him the role until you turned up, and after that they knocked him down to second lead.”

Woojin’s initial shock at this news soon gave way to apprehension; how was he meant to live up to Park Jihoon? If they’d really loved his audition that much, they would expect him to perform at that level all the time. And maybe even Jihoon would resent him for taking the first lead. Just like that, all the self-doubt flooded back into Woojin’s mind.

He opened his mouth to ask Jinyoung something, but they were interrupted by someone at the front of the room calling for their attention.

“Welcome, everyone,” he was saying. “My name is Jisung, and I’m your director. Welcome to the team of I Promise You. It’s nice to see so many familiar faces here, but also some new people that I’m looking forward to working with.” Woojin took note of the fact that Jisung had a friendly smile, and hoped that his personality matched that. “Today’s read-through is just to help you get familiar with the script, plot, and your characters. My tip is to not overdo anything just yet, go with your instincts. There’ll be plenty of time for direction once we start rehearsing. I’m sure you’re all ready to get started, so why don’t you take your seats?”

It wasn’t until everyone moved to sit down at the large round table that Woojin realised the chairs had names on them, and unfortunately his was nowhere near Jinyoung’s. It was, of course, right in the middle, with Jisung on one side and Jihoon on the other. Guess there’s really nowhere for me to hide then, he thought as he moved to take his seat. He couldn’t help but feel like every eye was on him, an outsider, a stranger who’d walked into the wrong room. He was desperate to make them realise he deserved to be there.

On Woojin’s first day of theatre school, he’d been so nervous about meeting new people for the first time that he’d locked himself in the toilets, hoping to avoid the initial introductions and sneak in unnoticed later on. If it wasn’t for Daehwi’s threatening messages and his insistence that he really was about to go and get on a bus just so he could ‘drag your sorry ass out of there right now’, he might have done just that. Maybe it was something about first impressions that Woojin found so intimidating; knowing that you couldn’t change them, and that people would always remember them.

It was these same nerves that were getting the better of him now. He could see the lines, read them perfectly well in his head, but as soon as he came to say them out loud it went wrong. He stuttered, missed out words, mixed up his cues. It was so frustrating, and every passing second felt worse and worse. The more he felt like people were judging him, the more he messed up. At one point after one particularly disastrous attempt he dared to glance at Jihoon out of the corner of his eye, and his heart plummeted to see how irritated the boy looked. Jinyoung kept meeting his eyes from across the table and smiling encouragingly, and Jisung made several attempts to help him out, but Woojin felt defeated. He wanted to run and hide.

When the read-through was over, Jisung told everyone they’d done a great job and that rehearsals would start in a week so they just should keep reading over the scripts. After he dismissed them, Jihoon got up and walked away without so much as a word to Woojin. He stared at the table, unable to bring himself to see how anyone was looking at him.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned around to see Jinyoung.

“Are you okay dude?”

Woojin stood up, staring dejectedly at the script in his hand. “I did such a bad job.”

Jinyoung squeezed his arm. “You were nervous, any one could see that. It’s understandable, since this is your first time doing anything like this. No one is going to think any less of you, okay? I can tell you’re better than that, and I’m sure everyone else can too. Keep practising, stop worrying about what people think, and you’ll crush it next week.”

Woojin smiled slightly. “Thanks, Jinyoung. That helps.”

“I don’t like to see talented people who don’t know how talented they are,” Jinyoung said, returning the smile. He checked his watch. “I gotta dash now, but I’ll see you next week, yeah?”

“Definitely,” Woojin said, feeling his mood brighten a little. Jinyoung waved brightly as he ducked out through the door, where Woojin could see Daehwi waiting on the other side.

Daehwi had a sixth sense for people’s moods and could always tell when Woojin was upset. Before he could even say anything, Daehwi had his arms open and was pulling Woojin into them.

“Tell me everything honey,” he said, pouting sympathetically. “But first, please, who was that boy you were just talking to?”

—✦—

Woojin spent the next week throwing himself into learning his lines, even memorising everyone else’s lines so he would always know who was meant to be speaking and when. His manager scolded him a few times for reading the script when he was meant to be serving customers, but when the diner Woojin worked in got quiet he was allowed to sit at one of the tables whispering lines and stage directions to himself. Daehwi, having pulled Woojin out of his initial slump by demanding he ‘suck it up and get back out there’, was only too happy to take the other parts in order to help him practise. By the time the first rehearsal came around, Woojin felt like he’d actually restored a shred of confidence.

Before he knew it a whole week of rehearsals were already done, and the trauma of the read through was almost forgotten. Woojin had barely messed up any lines, was able to prompt other people who forgot theirs, and after one scene he’d even received some compliments from the crew and a pat on the back from Jinyoung who told him “I knew you were good”.

At least it was no longer him who was the target of people’s annoyance. Someone else seemed to have taken over that role.

Jihoon was late to every single rehearsal, often holding a Starbuck’s cup, always with no apology. He barely interacted with anyone that wasn’t his PA, and would even argue back when Jisung gave him direction.

“He’s such a diva,” Jinyoung murmured to Woojin one lunchtime as they sat together eating their sandwiches. Jihoon was on the other side of the room, at a table by himself, playing with his phone while his PA fetched his lunch. “I guess that’s how you turn out when you’ve been spoiled by your parents for your whole life.”

“Goes to show how fake some famous people are,” Woojin agreed. “They can be all smiles on screen and then completely flip as soon as the cameras turn off.”

“How has he been with you?” Jinyoung asked as he took a crisp from the bag they were sharing. “Since he’s meant to be acting like he’s in love with you and all that.”

Woojin rolled his eyes. “He barely even talks to me. And when we’re practising our scenes it feels like I’m talking to a cardboard cut-out. God knows what’s going to happen when we rehearse the kiss scene this afternoon.”

“That’s today?” Jinyoung asked, eyes widening.

Woojin gestured to his sandwich. “Why do you think I have tuna and onion today?”

Jinyoung shook his head in disbelief. “I’ve befriended an evil genius.”

It was fine to joke with Jinyoung about the kiss scene, but when lunch was over and Woojin went back to the stage and was faced with Jihoon standing right in front of him, he didn’t feel like laughing anymore. All the plays he’d ever done, and he’d never had to kiss a stranger before, which would have been scary enough even if it wasn’t a stranger he’d idolised for the past 7 years of his life.

He tried to relax into it, but the fact he’d never been in a relationship also wasn’t helping things. Despite the countless mushy romantic films he’d watched with Daehwi, he still had no idea how people in love were meant to behave. Jisung had to keep stopping them, telling them to soften their expressions, relax their shoulders, sound less robotic.

The first attempt at the kiss was the most awkward experience of Woojin’s life, neither of them really knowing where to put their hands or how to move. Jisung then had them do it over and over, insisting they needed to get used to the intimacy or it would never look natural on stage, but Woojin didn’t feel like it was getting any better.

“For God’s sake, just kiss each other like you mean it!” Jisung snapped at them, and Woojin realised he really didn’t mean it. A few years ago he could have only dreamt of being in this position, but Jihoon’s behaviour was leaving a sour taste in his mouth.

After a painful two hours a frustrated Jisung finally dismissed them, demanding they try and break the ice between them somehow. But as usual, Jihoon just turned away and went straight back to his PA.

“Bring me some water,” Woojin heard him demand. And something snapped.

Woojin had adored Jihoon for too much of his life, spent too much time and money on him, and the glistening illusion was being shattered to pieces by the second. More than anything else it was crushing disappointment at finding out the boy he’d looked up to, and been so inspired by, was no better than every other spoiled brat who’d been thrown into the limelight too young and taken everything he had for granted. So when he heard Jihoon speak, he couldn’t help the words that flew from his mouth.

“Why don’t you try saying please for once in your life?”

Jihoon stared open-mouthed at him, looking absolutely stunned, and Woojin got some satisfaction from the fact he’d shocked Park Jihoon into silence.

For a second, he was convinced Jihoon was going to roll his eyes and look away, or even argue back. But the boy turned to his PA, who was looking almost equally as astonished, and said in a surprisingly timid voice “Please”.

He didn’t look back at Woojin again, but instead went over to collect his bag and walked silently from the theatre. Woojin didn’t realise until that moment that he’d been holding his breath, and let it out all in one go, feeling slightly light-headed.

What the hell did I just do?

“Dude, what the hell did you just do?”

Jinyoung’s voice came from the side of the stage, and when Woojin turned he saw that his friend was grinning from ear to ear. “That was awesome! I just came to bring you your stuff but I’m so glad I got to see that. You told him exactly what everyone was thinking.”

“It just slipped out,” Woojin groaned, taking his bag from Jinyoung and following his friend towards the theatre exit. “This is gonna make everything even more awkward between us now, isn’t it?”

Jinyoung laughed. “Who cares? It was worth it. God, I wish I had a picture of his face when you said that to him.”

Daehwi was waiting in the lobby when they arrived, and Woojin noticed that his eyes were following Jinyoung.

“Hi Woojin!” he greeted him brightly, then “Hi Jinyoung,” in a slightly quieter voice.

Jinyoung smiled at him. “Hi Daehwi,” he said. “How was uni today?”

Daehwi stared for a second, Woojin noticing him gulp, before replying. “It was okay, thanks! Hope you guys had a good rehearsal.”

“We did, he especially had a lot of fun,” Jinyoung said, raising his eyebrows at Woojin, who pulled a face back. “Well, my friend is waiting outside, so I’ll see you guys around.”

Woojin waved as Daehwi uttered a timid “Bye”, and as soon as the door closed behind him, Daehwi threw his face into Woojin’s chest.

“He remembered I go to uni.”

Woojin rolled his eyes. “Of course he did. I’m always talking to him about you.”

Daehwi lifted his face, expression severe. “What do you tell him?”

“Only good things,” Woojin said, amused to see Daehwi in this state. “You have it bad for him, don’t you?”

“If by ‘bad’ you mean I’m on the verge of writing out ‘Bae Daehwi’ with little love hearts in all my textbooks then yes, I do.”

Woojin pulled a face. “Gross. Why don’t you just ask him out then?”

Daehwi looked at him like he was crazy. “Are you suggesting I behave in a normal and rational way? Don’t you realise how unrealistic that sounds?”

“Damn, I guess you’re right,” Woojin said.

“Exactly. Now let’s go get ice cream and talk about how tragically single we are.”

—✦—

Woojin was right to think that his outburst would make things more awkward between Jihoon and him. The boy was certainly less rude than before, but he was just as cold, completely blanking Woojin apart from when interaction was absolutely necessary. To make it worse, Jinyoung wasn’t scheduled in for rehearsals that week and even Daehwi had lectures every day, so Woojin was left to sit alone during breaks. He didn’t want to disappoint Jisung by not making any attempts with Jihoon, but at the same time the idea of talking to the boy was desperately unappealing.

One lunchtime neither Daehwi or Jinyoung were replying to their messages, and Woojin couldn’t face another hour watching the ensemble rehearse the same scene 20 times, so he slipped out and took himself to the Starbucks down the road. He had a few scenes with Jihoon that afternoon and he knew a large caramel latte was the only thing that was going to get him through it.

The queue was pretty long, with it being lunchtime, but Woojin was grateful for any time he managed to kill. He glanced a few times at the boy behind him in the line, thinking he kind of recognised him, but he couldn’t decide if he knew him or not. Eventually he reached the front, placing his order with the barista and giving her his name.

“Wait, you’re Park Woojin?”

He turned to see that the vaguely familiar stranger was looking at him curiously.

“Yeah,” he replied cautiously.

“As in, the Park Woojin in I Promise You with Jihoon?”

Woojin, slightly taken aback by exactly how much this boy knew about him, was starting to look for the nearest exit. “That’s me.”

The boy smiled, showing all his gums. “Sorry, you look really creeped out, I should explain. I’m Lai Guanlin, I used to date Jihoon a couple of years ago.”

So that’s where I know him from, Woojin thought, and it was all coming back to him. He remembered the magazine articles announcing that Jihoon had been spotted on dates with a rising Chinese actor, just recently arrived to pursue his theatre dreams. Woojin hadn’t focused much on Guanlin at that time, admittedly mostly because he was jealous, which is probably why he hadn’t recognised him straight away.

Guanlin placed his order and they both moved to the end to wait for their drinks. “How is it going?” he asked Woojin.

“It’s great,” Woojin said, but Guanlin must have sensed his hesitation because he smiled.

“You don’t sound too sure. Do you get on with Jihoon?”

Woojin pulled a face. “Honestly, not so much. He’s a bit of a brat.”

Guanlin nodded, to Woojin’s slight surprise. “I’m not gonna argue with you there. He can be very entitled, wants to have everything his way. It’s part of the reason we broke up.”

“I need to try and get through to him,” Woojin said. “We’re meant to be acting in love, but he never even acknowledges my existence.”

Guanlin considered this for a moment. “Jihoon puts up a lot of walls. He’s scared to be vulnerable with people, for whatever reason, which makes him appear cold. But deep down he has a good heart, and he can be really nice. You just have to connect with him.”

The barista brought over their drinks, and Guanlin checked his watch as he picked it up.

“Ah, I’m running late,” he sighed. “All I can say is just try and get to know Jihoon better. You will be doing most of the work at first, but once he realises you just want to be friends it’ll get easier.”

Woojin smiled at him. “That’s actually really helpful, thank you.”

“No problem,” Guanlin said, returning the smile. “Good luck with everything.”

Woojin watched the tall boy hurry out of the shop, considering everything he’d said. From that moment, he decided, he was on a mission to crack Park Jihoon’s shell.

—✦—

Woojin and Daehwi had a pretty harmonious relationship as far as being flatmates went. They rarely argued, long since having worked out to take turns emptying the dish rack and to share the Netflix bill and to make sure the cupboards were well stocked with food they both liked. And ever since the play started Woojin had been grateful to have Daehwi around to unload his complaints onto. He could sit and tell him about the latest developments in the progress of the play (often centred around Jihoon) while Daehwi sat writing an essay or a lab report or whatever other extensive piece of work had most recently been assigned to him.

Except today he seemed distracted. Just after Woojin had returned from rehearsal, something on Daehwi’s phone had caught his interest and he’d barely looked up from the screen ever since. His essay, which he’d been complaining about all week, lay abandoned on his desk. And even though there was a new episode of his favourite k-drama, which he usually forced Woojin to watch so that he had someone to clutch onto whenever something particularly dramatic happened, he seemed uninterested.

Woojin had finished telling Daehwi about what had happened at rehearsal that morning, but it was clear his friend’s attention was elsewhere. He tried again to get conversation out of the boy.

“Did you see that Hwang Minhyun got engaged to his boyfriend? What’s his name, Hong Seongwu or something?”

“Ong,” mumbled Daehwi, still not looking up from his phone. Woojin saw a slight smile flash across his face.

“Oh, and I’m dropping out of theatre school to follow my dreams of becoming a stripper.”

Daehwi nodded. “Uh huh.”

Woojin glared at him, wondering why his friend wasn’t listening to him. “Who are you so busy talking to anyway?”

“No one,” Daehwi replied, body language changing immediately, as if he was on the defence. But Woojin was quick, and he moved instantly to scoop the phone out of Daehwi’s hands and hold it out of his grasp. He looked at the latest message on his home screen, only getting chance to note the copious amount of emojis and a very familiar name before Daehwi threw his entire body weight at Woojin and pinned him down.

“Jinyoung?” Woojin exclaimed in surprise as Daehwi regained control of the phone and hugged it to his chest.

“Maybe,” Daehwi replied, a sulky expression on his face.

“Since when do you talk to him?”

“Well the other day I didn’t know what time your rehearsal finished, and you weren’t answering your texts, so maybe I found him in your Facebook friends list and asked him instead. And we’ve been talking a little more since then.”

Woojin gave him a knowing grin, still feigning innocence. “But I sent you all the rehearsal times last week, didn’t I?”

Daehwi glared at him. “Alright, shut up. You know I just wanted an excuse to talk to him.”

“Well how’s it going?” Woojin asked. “Have you confessed your undying love for him yet?”

“It’s just a crush,” Daehwi whined back at him. “And anyway, I’m not going to tell him because he won’t like me back. He has a girlfriend.”

Woojin started to laugh.

“Why are you laughing? You think it’s funny I’m going to be alone forever?” Daehwi demanded, slapping Woojin’s legs.

“No, I think the idea of Jinyoung having a girlfriend is funny. He swings our way.”

Daehwi stared at him wide-eyed. “Are you sure?”

“He told me. Plus he has Kang Daniel as his phone background.”

“Oh my god,” Daehwi whispered in disbelief. “Why did he tell me he had a girlfriend then?”

Woojin rolled his eyes. “Probably because he likes you, dumbass. He’ll have accidentally flirted and then panicked and tried to cover it up. He is a Taurus after all.”

Daehwi sat open-mouthed for a second before slowly starting to smile. “This is going to be fun. We’ll see how long it is before he cracks.”

Woojin sighed. “He’s literally my only other friend. I’d rather you didn’t break him.”

—✦—

Despite his resolve to try and make contact with Jihoon, Woojin found very few chances to even talk to him off stage, since the boy almost always seemed to have other things he had to rush off to. Woojin had made a point of being nicer, smiling at Jihoon at any opportunity and attempting conversations, but while Jihoon responded politely he also stayed as cold and distant as before.

His opportunity came unexpectedly one day, as he was heading for the exit after his turn being measured for costume and heard a voice coming from one of the practice rooms. It was a soft singing voice, certainly tuneful enough to be considered pleasant, accompanied by scattered piano notes that although simple, fell together into a pretty melody. Woojin peered through the small window of the room and was surprised to see that it was Jihoon sitting at the piano, pressing the keys absent-mindedly as he stared at the sunset outside and sang gently under his breath.

Woojin had a choice. The easy one was to walk away; Jihoon hadn’t seen him, and anyway he was desperate to get home where there was definitely a new series on Netflix he could be binge watching. But he knew if he was going to get anywhere he had to take the harder choice, and he knocked gently on the door.

Jihoon jumped and whirled round, clearly having been deep in a daydream, and met Woojin’s eyes. He stared for a moment before responding with a small wave.

“Come in,” he said, even gracing Woojin with a small smile as he entered. “What’s up?”

Okay maybe I didn’t plan that far ahead, Woojin thought. Quick, make something up.

“Oh, um, I was just wondering if you had a copy of the directions for scene 12. I wrote them down earlier, but I lost them.”

“Yeah sure. I’ll take a picture and send it to you.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at Woojin expectantly, who took a few seconds too long to realise Jihoon wanted his phone number. He read it out as Jihoon typed it in, and then smiled. “Cool, I’ll do it when I get home.”

Then he paused and Woojin almost smiled back, said thank you, and left, but he wasn’t going to give up that easily.

“So what were you playing? It sounded pretty good.”

Jihoon gave a slightly bemused look, as if he couldn’t understand why Woojin was still here. “Just something I learnt years ago. I used to play when I was younger but not so much anymore.”

“You should,” Woojin said. “It might be nice to have something to do outside of acting.” Jihoon raised his eyebrows and Woojin panicked slightly. “Not that you don’t do anything else. It just, you know, seems to take up a lot of your time.”

Jihoon smiled. “No, you’re right really. I hardly ever get free time for things I want to do.”

“Your singing wasn’t bad either,” Woojin added. “I didn’t know you could sing.”

“I can’t,” Jihoon said quickly, pulling a face and Woojin noticed he even blushed slightly. “Well, I’ve been for singing roles before and not got them. Which led me to believe I was no good at it. But I still kind of enjoy it.”

“Well it was better than anything I could do. Maybe you could teach me sometime?”

The question was half teasing half serious, but Jihoon laughed out loud. “Okay. But only if you teach me how to dance.”

There was a long silence where Woojin tried to work out if he’d heard that right, and Jihoon’s mouth hung open as if he’d said something he really shouldn’t have. Woojin had never told Jihoon that he used to dance.

“How did you know that?”

Jihoon was reddening by the second, seemingly struggling for words, and Woojin couldn’t believe he’d actually lived to see Park Jihoon getting flustered right in front of his eyes.

“Okay, I definitely never meant for you to find out about this. But when you first got cast I kind of searched your name up online. Just to find out what else you’d been in, what school you were at, you know. Research.”

Woojin laughs at this point, mostly due to the fact he’d been holding his breath since Jihoon started speaking and it had to come out somehow, but also because he really didn’t know how to respond to finding out his idol of seven years had actually been searching him up online.

“Anyway, your old dance videos came up, I guessed from when you were in high school. And they were amazing, like really seriously impressive. How come you gave it up?”

Woojin knew there were a hundred ways he could avoid the question, but something about Jihoon’s candour made him decide he was going to come clean.

“Since we’re spilling our secrets here, I might as well tell you. Although mine is actually more embarrassing than yours,” he said, laughing nervously as Jihoon looked at him expectantly. “I was actually a massive fan of yours. I saw every single film and play, used to follow your every move, there’s even a poster of you on my bedroom wall. Ok, maybe I shouldn’t have told you that last one.”

Jihoon was grinning, and Woojin kind of wanted to slap him. “Well I gotta say, that sure makes me feel better about googling you.”

“Shut up,” Woojin mumbled, dropping his gaze so Jihoon couldn’t see him blush. “Anyway, I first met you at the premiere for Sandglassand it was that night I decided to drop my plans for college and enrol in theatre school. Because I wanted to be like you.”

This time there was a few seconds of silence. “That’s actually really touching,” Jihoon said quietly, the teasing tone gone from his voice. “I never thought I would have that kind of effect on people.”

Woojin looked up and met his eyes. The sun was going down and the room was darkening, casting long shadows across Jihoon’s face.

“You do, though. You have a huge impact on people. And I think that maybe you should be more careful about how you behave.” Jihoon stared and Woojin, suddenly thinking he really shouldn’t have said that, hastily added “I just mean that you can be a diva sometimes. You demand people bring you things, you seem to think you’re entitled to special treatment, and you never make any attempt to be nice to anyone. It just comes across a little obnoxious.”

To Woojin’s surprise, Jihoon was nodding. “I can’t argue with that.”

Woojin blinked, unsure what to say next. “Well if you know then why do you act like that?”

“I’m not doing it on purpose,” Jihoon replied quickly, a strange sadness in his eyes. “I didn’t know I was behaving like that, it just doesn’t come as much of a surprise to me. I was definitely a spoilt child; my parents have pretty much never told me ‘no’ since the day I was born. And since that advert went viral when I was 8 I didn’t even have to work for my fame like everyone else does.”

“I understand,” Woojin said. “But you can be all of those things and still be a nice person. My best friend, he comes from a rich family, he got a scholarship for college, he’s always had anything he wanted. But he’s the sweetest, most humble and generous person I know. It depends on your attitude to what matters in life. To him, and to me, it’s friendship.”

Woojin sat shocked for a moment that those words had come out of his mouth, mainly because it was more profound than anything he’d ever thought of even while having political debates with himself in the middle of the night. But mainly because the thoughts had been building up for so long and he’d finally said them out loud, to Jihoon’s face. A face which was currently bearing a very sombre expression.

“I never meant to hurt anyone,” he said quietly. “I actually hate rude people, I guess it just didn’t occur to me”- he trailed off and was quiet for a few moments. “I do value friendship. I want you to know I’m not obsessed with fame, or money, or anything like that. I just never had many friends.”

Woojin thought about his life, and while maybe he’d never had a huge amount of money or nice clothes or expensive gadgets, he had people that loved him. He was so different to Jihoon, but he felt he’d seen more of who the boy really was in the last 5 minutes than all the years before. And he was likeable, and Woojin wanted to give him a chance.

“Well,” Woojin announced, knowing he had to lighten the mood. “I’m declaring myself your friend, whether you like it or not. No refunds or exchanges, unfortunately. I’m also declaring that, unless you have plans, you’re coming round to our flat tonight and we’re ordering pizza and watching a movie.”

Jihoon smiled wider than Woojin had ever seen. “Thanks. I’d really like that.”

As the two walked out of the theatre together Woojin said a silent thank you to Guanlin for his advice, and the fact that maybe he wasn’t going to dread rehearsals anymore.

—✦—

After a surprisingly successful evening with pepperoni pizza, the Avengers, and Daehwi telling Jihoon way too many embarrassing childhood stories about Woojin, the mood at the theatre was transformed. Jihoon was bright, polite, didn’t bring his assistant along to rehearsals anymore, and had even been offering to run errands for people. Woojin overheard Jisung talking about how different Jihoon was and wondering what had changed. But he knew Jihoon had always been this person deep down; he just needed a wake-up call.

He’d also found that spending time with Jihoon was really fun.

Before he knew it, the show was little more than a week away, and despite the months of rehearsals Woojin felt like it was nowhere near good enough to show to the public. He felt even more nervous when Jisung called him and Jihoon back to rehearse the kiss scene again after the car crash of the first attempt. Woojin hadn’t anticipated how different it would feel now that they were friends instead of barely acquainted strangers. For a start it was more awkward, much more awkward, as they stood together on the stage under the spotlight, Jisung watching them with scrutiny.

“Ok boys, let’s not pretend that last time wasn’t a disaster,” Jisung said. “I’ve given you a long time so I hope you’ve worked it out because pretty soon we’re going to have audiences in here who have to believe you’ve in love.”

As they got in position for the start of the scene Woojin suddenly felt that he had no idea how he should speak or act, as if his acting training had abandoned him. Come on, the whole reason you even got close to him was to improve your chemistry, Woojin whispered to himself. He knew that the embarrassment of acting this scene would be nothing compared to the embarrassment of messing up in front of the whole audience, so he decided to suck it up and get on with it.

Luckily once they started the dialogue he relaxed, the lines that he’d read over so many times coming naturally. When they reached the kiss he didn’t even hesitate, wrapping himself around Jihoon as their lips moulded together, then exchanging breathless confessions of love as the scene drew to a close.

Woojin stared into Jihoon’s eyes for a second too long, and the truth that had been creeping up on him for a long time finally crashed down on him.

Fuck, I think I like him.

Jisung broke the silence with his applause. “That so much better guys. I really believed it. Honestly, good job. Let’s run it a few more times.”

The scene became a torture for Woojin, who was now realising more and more how much he enjoyed kissing Jihoon. Every time they ran through it, every time Jihoon held him and told him how much he loved him, he couldn’t stop his brain from wishing it was real.

Out of everyone,he told himself in irritation, literally everyone, you had to fall for Park Jihoon.

Jisung eventually let them go, thanking them again for sorting out their issues. Jihoon smiled at Woojin before he left the theatre, shooting him a “We killed it today, huh?”. Woojin nodded weakly in agreement, hoping that nothing of what he’d just realised was showing on his face.

Jinyoung came in as Woojin was packing his bag up, bearing a mischievous grin. “How did it go?” he asked. “You manage to fake being in love this time?”

Woojin smiled quickly, deciding this crush might be too new and slightly scary to reveal to anyone just yet. “It was better, I think. Getting closer to him really helped.”

“Good,” Jinyoung said, nodding. “At least Jisung will be off your back now.”

When they reached reception Daehwi was waiting there, just as he was after the first rather more tragic rehearsal of the kiss scene.

“Hey,” Woojin greeted him, frowning slightly. “I told you I’m going straight to work today, I didn’t need picking up.”

Daehwi smiled sheepishly. “Actually, I’m here to pick up Jinyoung. We’re going out. For dinner.”

Woojin saw him exchange a look with the other boy, and he suddenly twigged. “Oh,” he said, a knowing smile spreading across his face.

“You don’t mind, do you?” Jinyoung asked quickly.

Woojin looked incredulously at him. “Of course not, you idiots. I’ve been waiting for your dumb asses to finally get it together ever since you first met each other.”

Daehwi pulled a face at him. “We were only worried because we didn’t want to be a constant reminder of how tragically single you are. But I guess there’s no escaping that,” he said, patting Woojin condescendingly on the arm as Jinyoung laughed.

“You know what? I’ve changed my mind,” Woojin said. “You guys dating is a terrible idea.”

—✦—

The opening night drew ever closer as rehearsals went on and on. Woojin was making every attempt to hang out with Jihoon, usually also with Jinyoung and Daehwi since his feelings made it increasingly hard to spend time with Jihoon alone, but it was having the desired effect nonetheless. He started to think he could even count Jihoon as friend.

The day before they opened finally arrived, which was also their last dress rehearsal. They’d already done two, neither of them fully successful, but after a good hour the night before of Jisung barking notes for improvement at them, Woojin felt optimistic this run through would be better.

And he was right. There was less tripping up, both of lines and over props, and the way his heart lifted as the final scene drew to a close told him this play was well and truly ready to show to the world. This was confirmed when Jisung and the rest of the crew jumped to their feet in applause, already declaring the play a certain hit. Despite his enthusiasm, because he was Jisung, he still had areas he thought they could improve so he asked them to sit down for a few notes. Jihoon sat next to Woojin and Jinyoung, a move he’d never made before, usually sitting by himself in the back. As Jisung talked, everyone’s pen scribbling at lightning speed to keep up with the pace, Jihoon crossed his legs, seemingly purposefully nudging Woojin’s leg with his foot. Woojin side-eyed him, not wanting to get told off by Jisung but pretty sure Jihoon wanted something. Without a word, the boy slid Woojin’s script off his lap and onto his own.

He was writing something, his hand obscuring the ink from Woojin’s view. After a minute, he handed the script back, not making eye contact but the hint of a smile playing on the edges of his lips. He’d drawn a heart with a smiley face in the middle of it, and given it a stick body and limbs. In tiny writing underneath he’d written the words “Thank you”. It was only small, but for Jihoon it was meaningful. It was a thank you to Woojin for being his friend when he needed it most.

Woojin slipped his phone out of his pocket, keeping it low out of Jisung’s eyeline.

5:34pm

woojin: im screwed

daehwi: whatever it is it cant be that bad

daehwi: we can hide the body in the woods

woojin: i think i fell in love with park jihoon

daehwi: why the FUCK did you do that

woojin: he just jihooned in a jihoon kind of way and…….. yea

daehwi: there’s no hope for you

When Jisung finally released them, and Woojin exited the theatre with Jinyoung and Jihoon to find Daehwi waiting for them, his friend shot him a knowing glance. Woojin pulled a face back.

Daehwi was there to pick up Jinyoung, having offered to take him back to their flat and cook him dinner, letting him relax for the evening. Woojin desperately wanted to join them but his boss had been lenient enough giving him time off for the nights of the play, and he hadn’t tried to push for one more. He was on until midnight.

“What about you, Jihoon?” Daehwi asked as Jinyoung entwined their arms together. “You’re welcome to join us.”

He smiled and shook his head. “Thank you, but I’m gonna get an early night. I get really nervous before opening night. But I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” he replied, flashing Woojin his own personal smile. “Can’t wait.”

Woojin was still thinking over what he’d meant by that as he wiped down the surfaces ready to close up the restaurant and go home to get some good sleep. Jihoon couldn’t wait to feel nervous? Maybe that was just his pre-show thing.

He was just counting up the cash in the register when he heard the door open. Customers often came in past closing, and sometimes if there was any food left Woojin would still serve them, but tonight he was too excited to get home to his bed. “Sorry we’re closed,” he mumbled, not raising his eyes from the till.

“That’s too bad,” said a familiar voice. “I was really craving a cheeseburger.”

Woojin looked up and met Jihoon’s eyes. “What are you doing here?” he asked, shock making his voice come out harsh.

“Damn, you trying to hurt my feelings? I guess I’ll go,” Jihoon replied.

“No, sorry, I just”- Woojin faltered, because Jihoon was dressed in a loose tank top and tracksuit pants, and his hair was slightly tousled. He looked really attractive. “What happened to your early night?”

He shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep. Paced around my house for a while but I wanted to get out. Then I just kind of ended up here.”

Woojin hesitated, caught completely off guard with no idea how to deal with this situation. “I’m just closing up,” he said slowly. He didn’t really know what Jihoon wanted.

“Well do it quickly,” Jihoon said, face spreading into a grin. “Because you’re coming with me.”

—✦—

Being in Jihoon’s car speeding through the nearly empty streets at gone midnight was a surreal experience to say the least. They’d already stopped at the nearest convenience store, Jihoon making Woojin wait in the car and reappearing 10 minutes later holding two carrier bags. Now they were heading deeper into the city, and despite Woojin’s best efforts, Jihoon wouldn’t reveal anything about his plans.

It wasn’t until he pulled the car over into a parking bay that Daehwi had used many times before for dropping Woojin off that he realised they were at the theatre. “Dude, haven’t we spent enough time here over the past few months?” Woojin complained. “Don’t tell me you’re keeping me away from my bed just to make me rehearse.”

Jihoon was still maintaining a complete poker face. “Don’t worry,” he said, and suddenly grabbed Woojin’s hand to pull him towards the stage door.

Woojin, trying to ignore the fact his heart was about to beat out of his chest, glanced at Jihoon who was sliding a key into the door. “How do you have a key?”

Jihoon tapped his nose. “Connections.”

Woojin sighed. Of course.

They wound their way through the backstage corridors, and Jihoon had either forgotten he was holding Woojin’s hand or didn’t want to let go, until eventually they arrived on stage where the set was already arranged into position for the first scene.

“Now are you gonna tell me why we’re here, or do I need to file a report for kidnapping?” Woojin said, sighing.

Jihoon grinned widely. “I seem to remember some promises we made to each other.”

It took Woojin a second, but then he was back in that practice room and the first proper conversation he’d had with Jihoon. “You want me to teach you to dance.”

“And I’ll teach you how to sing.”

Jihoon insisted Woojin be the teacher first because he wanted to get his embarrassment over and done with, although it turned out he wasn’t even bad at dancing because, of course, there was nothing Park Jihoon was bad at.

It was amazing, Woojin thought as the night went on, how easy Jihoon’s company really was once he let his ‘I’m too famous to bother with you’ façade slip. He was funny, sincere, and actually really nice. Woojin taught him his favourite choreography from his old dance troupe back in high school, and in return Jihoon taught him a song from a musical that his mother liked, a simple melody with no particularly challenging notes. Woojin thought he was doing terribly but Jihoon complimented his technique and encouraged him to try the higher notes that he didn’t think he could reach.

When they finally took a break to attack the snacks Jihoon had bought from the convenience store, Woojin was amazed to find the time was already approaching 2am.

“We’re gonna regret this tomorrow,” he said, opening a bag of his favourite crisps. “We’ll have to be careful we don’t fall asleep on stage.”

Jihoon was chugging down a large bottle of Sprite. “I’d rather be here than asleep,” he said. “I don’t remember the last time I actually had fun like this.”

Woojin looked at him thoughtfully. He wanted to ask why Jihoon was the way he was, so guarded and standoffish and unwilling to open up to people. But he had a feeling Jihoon himself didn’t even know; he remembered what Jihoon had said about never being told ‘no’ all his life. It seemed it was just the way he’d always been. The fact that Woojin had seen an entirely new Jihoon tonight, a Jihoon he’d only seen glimpses of before now, made him realise Jihoon just needed to know someone trusted him before he could trust them.

After this they decided they were done with learning and instead took turns to play their favourite songs, dancing and singing along where they knew how to. Woojin thought his go-to playlist was pretty predictable, mostly hip-hop with some idol groups scattered in there, but Jihoon surprised him by being a girl group fanatic. He knew the choreography to every song he played, from the biggest groups to smaller ones Woojin had never even heard of.

“I thought you said you couldn’t dance,” he said as he watched Jihoon nail every single beat of Miniskirt by AOA.

“I learnt these from YouTube videos,” Jihoon said, pulling a face at him. “It’s not the same thing.”

Woojin finally managed to join in when Jihoon played Twice’s What is Love, since he’d had the last three months of Daehwi dancing to the song incessantly, and when it finished both boys slumped to the ground exhausted.

“Now I think I’m ready for bed,” Woojin mumbled, tiredness hitting him like a wave.

Jihoon laughed. “I thought you were meant to be the professional dancer here,” he said. “And you’re giving up before me?”

“Try me again when I haven’t been awake for 20 hours,” Woojin said, wiping sweat from his face. “Then I’ll really show you.”

They made sure to leave the theatre exactly as they left it so no one would suspect anything, and then drove home in near silence as Woojin struggled to stay awake in the passenger seat.

“I hope Daehwi didn’t wait up for me,” he muttered at one point, half asleep. “He’ll probably think I’m dead.”

Luckily when they arrived back at his flat, there was no police presence or search party looking everywhere for him. Just the rooms in darkness, and the sound of Daehwi’s soft snoring coming from inside his room. Jinyoung’s shoes weren’t by the door; Daehwi must have driven him home. Jihoon walked Woojin to his room, as the boy was so near unconsciousness now he didn’t trust him to hold his own weight up. As Woojin fell onto the bed and fumbled with picking up his pyjamas, Jihoon shook his head at him.

“I’m not gonna undress you by the way,” he said. “That only comes after the fourth date.”

Woojin didn’t reply because he was already asleep. Jihoon sighed, and just covered the boy gently with a blanket. He smiled, involuntarily, because Woojin was actually kind of cute when he was asleep. Only when he was asleep though. When he was awake he was loud and annoying and definitely not cute. Right?

As Jihoon switched off the lights and let himself out of the flat, he wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince anymore.

—✦—

“Park Woojin wake the FUCK up.”

Someone was shaking him. He squinted through his half-closed eyes at his assailant. Daehwi, of course.

“What the fuck did you do last night?”

Woojin was still slightly bewildered. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked across at his clock. It was only 8am, which meant he’d barely been asleep for 4 hours. He tried to push Daehwi away, desperate to go back to sleep. But his best friend caught his weak hands and pulled him up into a sitting position.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up,” Woojin muttered. “I had to work late.”

“Oh really?” Daehwi said slowly, raising an eyebrow. He reached for his laptop from the bed behind him and thrust it into Woojin’s face. “Then explain this.”

There was a news article open on the screen, and Woojin’s eyes widened as he took it in.

PARK JIHOON DATING I PROMISE YOU CO-STAR?

Late last night the couple were pictured entering the Zero Theatre where they spent many hours, before both returning to Park Woojin’s flat. Witnesses say-

Woojin stopped, his stomach flipping over. There was a picture too, slightly blurry because of the distance it had been taken from, but both their faces were easily recognisable. And so was the fact that Jihoon’s hand was gripping his own tightly as he pulled him towards the theatre door. Woojin felt sick.

“I”- he stuttered, crumbling under Daehwi’s intense gaze and the realisation of what had happened. “Nothing happened.”

“Then why did you lie and say you were working late?” Daehwi whined, hitting his leg. “Because this seriously looks like something happened. Is it true? Was he here last night? Did you two”-

“No,” Woojin interrupted forcefully, and he met Daehwi’s eyes. “I swear to you. He surprised me at work, took me to the theatre, and we just hung out. Then he dropped me off back here and went home. That’s it.”

Daehwi paused, but then nodded. They’d been friends for long enough that he could tell when Woojin was lying. “Okay. I believe you. But this,” he said, gesturing to the article, “isn’t good. Especially with opening night tonight. Jihoon should have known better.”

Woojin nodded, not really knowing what to say. He knew this kind of publicity could affect the play drastically, but it also wasn’t his fault.

He reached for his phone from the bedside table and was shocked to see the number of notifications already lighting up his screen. A lot were from some old school friends, people he’d barely spoken to in years, apparently very interested in him now he was associated with a celebrity. There was a missed call from his mum and an accompanying text that just said ‘???’, a notification announcing 124,895 new Twitter followers, and even an email from a news station asking him for a statement. But right down at the bottom, seemingly before anything had gone viral, was a text from Jihoon.

5:26am

jihoon: Don’t say anything to anyone. Stay in your flat. My team are handling it.

The blunt coldness of the message was jarring, especially compared to the old texts preceding it where Jihoon’s tone had been warm and jovial. He knew Jihoon probably had a good management team, and of course it was better for him to stay inside rather than risk being hounded by the press, but the message still gave Woojin the feeling something was wrong.

But no matter what happened, the play was opening tonight, and Woojin could almost hear Jisung saying ‘the show must go on’. He and Daehwi ate breakfast in nervous silence, and then he settled down to going over the last few notes they’d been given during the dress rehearsal while Daehwi sat scouring the internet for what people were saying about Woojin, refusing to read most of it out.

It was nearly 10am when Daehwi gasped. “He made a statement. There’s a video.”

Woojin threw his notebook onto the floor and Daehwi quickly came to sit by his side before pressing play.

Jihoon was outside what Woojin assumed was his house, although he realised he had no idea where he lived, staring down the dozens of cameras and microphones being thrust into his face. “There’s no truth to these rumours,” he was saying. “Park Woojin and I are colleagues, nothing more. I tried to be friends with him, but it turned out he used to be my fan and he was completely obsessed with me. We did go to rehearse last night, and that’s when he grabbed my hand, but I pulled away. Later he begged to come home with me, but I insisted I drop him back at his flat. These dating rumours are just another of his pleas for attention. I hope you will all still come and see our play, because I’ve worked hard, but following that I don’t wish to associate with Park Woojin anymore.”

Woojin felt like the floor had been ripped out from underneath him and he was falling, thousands of feet, to whatever cold hard surface lay at the bottom. He struggled to comprehend what he’d heard, as if it had been said in a foreign language, but the words were real and had come right out of Jihoon’s mouth.

“Woojin,” Daehwi whispered, eyes wide and sorrowful. He lay his hand gently on Woojin’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t until that moment Woojin realised tears were falling down his face, and due to the splats on his shirt, they had been for a while. Not knowing what to say, the hurt and betrayal crushing him like an iron weight, he barely choked out “How could he do that to me?”

There was little more to say, no way to express how he felt. Daehwi sat with Woojin while he cried, arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, dabbing at his tears with the edge of his sleeve. At some point Woojin caught sight of the script at his feet, and the smiley heart Jihoon had drawn there not even 24 hours previously. He remembered how giddy he’d felt when Jihoon showed it to him. Now it made him feel sick.

Daehwi made him his favourite fried rice for lunch but he had no appetite. The thought of having to go and perform tonight was too daunting. He just wanted to get into bed and hide under the blankets and never see Jihoon again.

But 3pm came too quickly, and they had to leave for the theatre. Daehwi drove, planning to do a few hours of shopping before coming back for the performance. The mere sight of the theatre turned Woojin’s stomach, remembering how happy he’d been there the night before. Just before he got out, Daehwi caught his hand and squeezed it.

“If he’d say something like that, he didn’t deserve you anyway. So go out there and show him what he’s missing.”

Woojin couldn’t help but notice everyone’s eyes on him as he walked through the theatre, hushed whispering following him like a ghost, conversations cut short as he passed by people. He wished he could fall into a hole in the ground.

As he entered the main backstage area he caught Jinyoung’s eyes across the room. There was a moment where Woojin was terrified he might be on Jihoon’s side, had fallen for the story that Woojin was really just a creepy obsessive stalker. But then Jinyoung crossed the room in a few long strides and swept Woojin up into his arms.

“Fuck him,” he whispered, pulling Woojin close to him. “Seriously. He’s a fucking asshole.”

The relief of having another person as well as Daehwi on his side washed over Woojin. It didn’t heal the hurt he felt, but it helped him feel like not everyone was against him.

Jinyoung seemed to understand very well, as they sat together on the sofa in Woojin’s dressing room, what had happened without much having to be explained to him.

“I knew he was the type to pull something like this,” he said. “He’ll be friends until there’s a chance of his precious image being tarnished. Then he turns on you.”

Woojin sighed. “It’s even worse because,” he hesitated, but knew he could trust Jinyoung. “Because I had a crush on him.”

Jinyoung looked shocked, or tried to, because Woojin saw straight through it.

“You knew?”

“Um,” Jinyoung smiled sheepishly. “Daehwi may have told me. Literally as soon as we got into the car after the dress rehearsal. In fact, he was so busy telling me he almost reversed into an old lady.”

Woojin shook his head. “I should have known.”

Jinyoung put his arm around Woojin’s shoulders and squeezed. “Still, I’m so sorry he did that to you,” he said. “I really thought he’d warmed up to you.”

“Me too,” Woojin said sadly.

It was time for Jinyoung to go for make-up and costume, and Woojin decided to go with him rather than be surrounded by prying eyes. And admittedly Woojin didn’t know his way around the backstage area at all, which is why when they rounded a blind corner he really wasn’t expecting to end up facing Jihoon coming the other way.

It was too late to turn away, so he set his eyes straight ahead, refusing to even look in the boy’s direction. But as they passed each other, Jihoon caught Woojin by the arm, taking him completely by surprise so that he involuntarily met Jihoon’s eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes that Woojin had always thought sparkled like the sky full of stars.

“Can we talk?”

Anger bubbled up in Woojin at that moment. How dare he? After what he said, how could he just walk in here expecting Woojin to be okay with everything?

He felt Jinyoung pull gently on his other arm, prompting him to give Jihoon a small shake of his head.

“Save it.” Then he broke their eye contact and turned resolutely in the other direction.

The performance was their worst ever. It was unsurprising really, since Woojin was constantly aware of the fact that every single person in the audience believed he was a stalker who Jihoon hated, and this left him stuttering over his lines and barely able to look at his co-star. The kiss scene was positively painful, their bodies stiff and standoffish, their lips barely brushing before they broke apart as if they’d been shocked.

Woojin rushed off stage after they’d been on to take their bows, desperate to just grab his stuff and get home before anything could happen, but he wasn’t so lucky. He didn’t even reach the corridor before he and Jihoon were cornered by a visibly angry Jisung.

“What the hell was that?” he asked flatly, his voice threateningly quiet.

Woojin stared at the floor. He had nothing to say. This was all on Jihoon.

“You go out there and ruin our opening night, then you don’t even have anything to say for yourselves?”

Jihoon mumbled some kind of apology, but Jisung just shook his head.

“I’ve seen the news. I don’t know for certain what’s going on between you two, but neither do I care. This is my play, and no matter what is happening beyond this theatre, you throw it away once you’re on that stage. Do you understand me?”

Woojin nodded, making eye contact with Jisung to show his sincerity. Despite the fact the situation wasn’t his fault, the fact he’d let Jisung down was like a punch to the gut.

“This play rests on you two,” Jisung said, voice slightly softer, “so sort it out.”

He turned and disappeared into the growing crowd of other cast members who’d come to collect their belongings and head home. Aware of the fact he was now standing alone with Jihoon, Woojin started across the room to where Jinyoung was standing but was once again stopped by Jihoon catching him by the arm.

“Woojin, please. Just let me explain.”

Something deep down in Woojin, probably the part that had a crush on Jihoon, or the part that had idolised him for so many years, wanted to stop and listen. But this wasn’t enough to fix the broken trust.

“There is nothing you could say that I want to hear.”

As he walked away Jihoon was still calling his name, but he kept his head set straight ahead, forcing back the tears that were suddenly threatening to spill over his eyelids.

—✦—

Daehwi had classes the next day, so he left Woojin wrapped up in a blanket on their sofa with a bunch of his favourite snacks and his laptop open to Netflix.

“Take care honey,” he’d said, stroking Woojin’s hair. “I’ll be there tonight. You’re gonna be fine.”

Being left alone was the worst thing that could have happened. Woojin lasted approximately 5 minutes before he was searching up his name on every search engine he could find. And every comment he read made his heart sink further into his stomach.

[+3367, -145] Poor Jihoon-oppa… being stalked by that crazy f*cker…. someone call the police

[+2988, -287] Park Woojin should be fired for ruining Jihoon’s image like this

[+2610, -98] I heard he was only hired because his father paid off the director ㅋㅋㅋAnd now he wants to pretend he’s in a relationship with Park Jihoon, what a joke

He carried on clicking, unable to stop himself, despite the crushing feeling that was falling over him. All he’d wanted was to be friends with Jihoon. He hadn’t asked for any of this.

He tried to eat, realising he hadn’t had a proper meal in days, but everything made him feel sick. Nothing he did succeeded at distracting him. He’d made so many sacrifices to follow this dream, the dream that Jihoon himself had instilled in him, only to have the same person bring it all crashing down to the ground.

His heart jumped when he heard his phone ping with a notification, certain it would be yet another person desperate to leech some information out of him they could sell to the press.

1:53pm

jinyoung: come to the theatre asap

jinyoung: im here doing stage reset and jisung just came in saying he wants a full cast meeting

jinyoung: he told me to tell you

Woojin frowned. Jisung had his number. Surely he would have texted himself if he’d decided on a meeting?

He shrugged it off. He was happy to go to the theatre. It would take his mind off things for a while, remove him from his laptop with the world of hurtful comments at his fingertips.

But his suspicions were aroused further when he pulled into the nearly empty car park at the theatre. If there was supposedly a full cast meeting, where was everyone?

Nonetheless Jinyoung had asked him to come, so he decided to go see what was going on.

He was right to have the feeling that Jinyoung was lying. When he walked into the theatre it was deserted, and the stage had already been reset back to scene one.

“Jinyoung?” he called, wondering why his friend wasn’t even there to explain why he’d called Woojin there under false pretences. At that moment someone who’d previously been out of sight stood up from one of the seats, but it was the last person Woojin wanted to see. Jihoon looked back at him, and smiled sadly.

“We’re sorry,” came a voice from behind him, and he whirled round to see Jinyoung and Daehwi standing by the door he’d just walked through. “But you guys sucked last night. So you’re gonna talk it out, whether you like it or not.”

And before Woojin could even react, they’d swung the doors shut and he heard the lock click.

He stared at the closed door, as if that might force it to open so he could escape. Also because it was better than the alternative of facing what was behind him.

“Woojin,” Jihoon said softly.

“What am I doing here?” Woojin muttered, still maintaining eye contact with the locked door.

“I so badly wanted to apologise, but I knew you would never voluntarily hear me out. So I asked Jinyoung if he could somehow get you here. He told me to get lost at first, but he eventually agreed only because he didn’t want to see you sad anymore. He said I better fix it or he’d gut me. So here I am, to fix it. Or at least try to.”

Woojin sighed. There was no getting out of this. He turned and looked at Jihoon. “I can’t imagine how you’re going to try and justify this. But go ahead. I’ll listen.”

“Thank you,” Jihoon said, letting out a long breath. “Firstly I want you to know I didn’t send that text yesterday morning, the one about not saying anything. I wasn’t even awake at that point. My parents saw the news and took my phone and sent you that text. They’ve had it ever since then, so I couldn’t talk to you.”

Woojin nodded slowly. At least that made sense, considering the change in tone he’d noticed. But he didn’t say anything yet. Jihoon still had to explain that interview.

“Then they literally pulled me out of bed, dressed me as I walked, and told me what I had to say to the reporters. They kept going on about how everything would be over if I didn’t tell the lies they wanted me to. I was only meant to say that you’d probably made up the rumours for attention, but I”- he looked down, and Woojin had the feeling he might be fighting tears. “I was so panicked I got carried away. I regretted every word as soon as it came out of my mouth, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if I stopped.”

“So you humiliated me to save your own ass?” Woojin snapped back. “You made me out to be delusional, or some sad obsessed little child.”

Jihoon wrung his hands together, eyes shining as they met Woojin’s. “I know. It was the most selfish thing I’ve ever done. I thought I’d moved past being like that, but I guess I’m still the same asshole I always have been.”

“You could have ruined everything for me,” Woojin croaked, tears welling up in his own throat. “Have you seen the comments online? People hate me. What if I can’t get parts anymore?”

“I would do anything to take it back,” Jihoon said earnestly. “I’ll say sorry a million times if that’s what it takes.”

Woojin laughed. “You don’t get it, do you? Sorry is just a word. You broke my trust, all to protect yourself. I thought you were my friend.”

Jihoon just stared, and the first tear spilled down his cheek. “I don’t want that to change,” he whispered, sounding as if his heart had been wrenched from his chest.

The silence hung between them for a moment. Woojin didn’t doubt that Jihoon was genuinely sorry, but that didn’t change what he did. How was he meant to trust someone who would do that to him?

“Why did you even have to lie?” Woojin said. He wasn’t just going to let Jihoon stand there and spew apologies. He wanted more answers. “You could have told them the truth, that we were just hanging out. We’re not actually dating, so why did it matter?”

Jihoon’s eyes fell, and he looked as if he were trying to work out what to say. But then he took a deep breath and met Woojin’s eyes again. “Because I have feelings for you. And I knew you didn’t feel the same way, so I wanted to make sure they knew for sure there was nothing going on. They would think that us ‘hanging out’ was just a bad excuse. I didn’t know how to deal with everyone believing we were dating because,” he trailed off and looked away, “because we aren’t, but I want us to be.”

Woojin had been frozen since Jihoon had started talking. He didn’t know what to say, how to react. His heart just hammered in his chest. “You… have feelings for me?”

“Yes,” Jihoon said with a sigh. “And as long as I’m embarrassing myself, you might as well know everything. I’ve liked you since the day you told me off for not saying please.” Woojin saw the tips of his ears flush pink. “That was the first time I fully realised that the way I treated people was wrong. From that moment I wanted to change, to be a better person, to appreciate what I have and not take things for granted. And when you talked to me that night in the practice room, I realised it might actually gain me a friend. A really great friend,” he said, a small smile on his face. “You’re kind, funny, and talented. I can’t forgive myself for saying what I did yesterday, and I can’t forgive myself for what it’s done to you. You deserve love and fame because you’ve worked for it, which is more than can be said for me.”

At that moment he stepped hesitantly towards Woojin, as if waiting to see if he would resist. But Woojin stayed where he was, feeling his tears drip off his face onto his shirt. Jihoon reached out and took his hand, and Woojin let him.

“I have nothing but respect for you, Woojin. I didn’t show that yesterday, but I’m determined to show it from now on. It’s okay if you don’t return my feelings. But you’ve done more to change me over the past few months than anyone else has in my whole life. And it would break my heart if I lose you as a friend because of my own arrogance and selfishness.”

Jihoon searched Woojin’s face for any clue to how the boy was feeling, whether he was about to push Jihoon away and refuse to ever talk to him again. But his lip was set in a straight line, his eyes wide and full of tears. Jihoon couldn’t take it.

“Please say something.”

But Woojin didn’t. Instead, he leaned forward and placed his lips over Jihoon’s.

They both melted into the kiss, Jihoon feeling like every piece of guilt that had weighed on him for the last day was starting to lift, and Woojin feeling like every one of his teenage dreams was coming true. Jihoon put one hand around the back of Woojin’s neck and one around his waist, enjoying how perfectly they fit together, like two pieces of a puzzle. Like the stars had formed them to be together.

When they eventually pulled apart, Woojin was flushed and Jihoon was delighted to see him smiling again.

“You could have just told me you liked me, idiot,” Woojin said. “You would have saved us all this angst.”

Jihoon smiled. “That’s why you’re gonna be the sensible one in this relationship,” then he stuttered, “I mean, that is, only if you want a relationship”-

“I do,” replied Woojin, then raised his eyebrow. “But only if you definitely don’t expect me to be the sensible one.”

“You got a deal,” Jihoon said. He reached down to clasp Woojin’s hands, then pressed their foreheads together. “I’m truly so sorry I hurt you. I’m gonna spend the rest of my life making it up to you, I swear.”

Woojin kissed his nose. “It’s okay. But if you ever do it again, I can’t promise Daehwi and Jinyoung wouldn’t end you.”

Jihoon nodded. “That’s fair.”

At that moment the door burst open and the two Woojin had just mentioned peered round it.

“Oh my God, finally,” Jinyoung said triumphantly.

“You two take your time, don’t you?” Daehwi said. Then he turned to Jihoon and pointed threateningly. “Oh and by the way, if you ever hurt him again, Jinyoung and I will end you.”

—✦—

“And then he just started crying, right there, in the middle of the grocery store.”

Jihoon and Jinyoung burst out laughing while Daehwi looked smugly at Woojin, who was blushing bright red and had his face buried in his hands.

“Are you done embarrassing me? Like, seriously. I think you missed a few traumatising experiences you could be telling them about.”

“Oh, like the sleeping bag incident?”

Woojin kicked him hard under the table. “Never speak of that.”

It had been Daehwi’s idea, after Woojin and Jihoon’s reconciliation, to go and get ice cream. He said ice cream was the answer to everything. So far Daehwi had been marking the occasion by recounting stories of stupid things Woojin had done in high school, but for once he didn’t even mind. He was on cloud nine after everything that happened in the theatre, and when Jihoon, laughing at something Daehwi had said, reached over to take his hand and kiss his cheek, he needed to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.

They couldn’t stay long before they had to get back to the theatre for that night’s performance. This brought back some of Woojin’s anxiety; while he’d made up with Jihoon, the general public still believed all the negative things about him. He voiced these worries to him as Daehwi drove them to the theatre, but he’d just squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I’ll fix it.”

Later, as Woojin sat having his makeup done, he saw Jihoon call Jisung to one side and whisper in his ear. Jisung’s eyes flicked over to Woojin, and he smiled and nodded. Then Jihoon bowed low and shook Jisung’s hand. Woojin would have been confused about what Jihoon was up to if Jinyoung hadn’t come bounding into his eyeline at that very moment demanding to know what Daehwi’s favourite flower was because he was going to take him on a surprise date after his classes the next day. Woojin smiled, because not two days before Daehwi had asked him the exact same thing about Jinyoung. Those two really were meant to be.

He was by the side of the stage waiting for his opening scene when there was suddenly a loud cheer and a voice came over the microphone. Jihoon’s voice.

“Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for coming tonight. I wouldn’t usually do this, but yesterday I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I have to put it right. I told everyone that I didn’t know Park Woojin. That he was an obsessive fan, that he made up our dating rumours for attention, that I didn’t want to associate with him. All of that was a lie.” Woojin heard soft gasps from the crowd as Jihoon took a breath and pressed on. “I told those lies because I had feelings for him and was scared he wouldn’t return them. But it turns out, I got lucky. He did.” Every member of cast and crew in Woojin’s vicinity now had their eyes locked on him. He squirmed under the intense attention, but also kind of enjoyed it. “I’m so sorry for the things I said. But please, don’t hold it against him. He’s one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met in my life, and God knows I don’t deserve him, but he was kind enough to give me a second chance. So now, if it’s okay, I’d like to change the statement I gave yesterday. Park Woojin and I aredating.” There was a pause, and even though Woojin couldn’t see him, he knew Jihoon was grinning from ear to ear. “Enjoy the show, everyone.”

There was applause, hesitant at first but growing in intensity and soon joined by cheering as Jihoon left the stage. Woojin’s heart felt like it was going to burst. It wasn’t until the lights dimmed and a hush fell over the audience that he remembered he actually had to go on stage and act.

Their performance that night was a million miles from the first night. A critic who attended both nights later wrote it ‘felt like a different play, undoubtedly due to the newly blossomed romance between the two incredible male leads’. The kiss was electric, finally real for the first time, and it felt like fireworks were going off. When they came on to take their bows the roaring crowd gave a standing ovation, and even Jisung was cheering proudly from the front row. Woojin had never felt happier, and as he looked across the stage into Jihoon’s sparkling eyes, he knew he felt the same.