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Honestly, the thought of becoming so close to Add never really crossed Ara’s mind before. From the very beginning, the two were completely different and, for the longest time, he seemed to disregard her very existence. Whenever he didn’t, he’d typically belittle her for being as oblivious as she was to most, if not, all the things he considered to be worth his time. Many of her attempts at reaching out to him were met with scoffs and a few scathing remarks, so it felt like a strange, almost unnatural twist of fate when he finally engaged in a conversation with her, even if he rarely faced her during it and the ones that followed.
She didn’t know how it happened or what she possibly did to make it happen, but the two became comfortable enough to talk to one another, sometimes even to the point of seeking the other out even with all the other members of the Search Party that probably proved to be more compatible companions.
Ara could clearly remember the night where she was set to stand watch as the others slept, only to be surprised by Add’s being up and about. He claimed to have been testing out the latest modifications made on his Dynamos (which he could’ve been doing as far as Ara could tell), and the two seemed to hit it off; their conversation only ending once Add made her go to sleep as he took over as night guard. Ara returned that little favor later, particularly during a night that proved to be too restless for him and, eventually, the two came to be seen as the most unlikely pair within the Search Party. Rena’s teasing only made things awkward with all her silly suspicions concerning the pair’s nightly conversations. Ara was certain that Add would take whatever chances he could to shoot down whatever Rena insinuated, but he never did. He never said a word whenever she started up, remaining quiet and neutral, leaving Ara to face the full brunt of the Wind Sneaker’s mischievous assault.
Ara couldn’t help but wonder why he never did anything. Sometimes it was difficult to tell what expressions Add made with the hard look he carried whenever he wasn’t actively emoting but, from what little she could tell, he never looked all that annoyed by it, like his mind immediately went elsewhere the moment Rena tried to get the jump on either of them. She had run through possible explanations in her head like if he was just uninterested or wanted to keep from feeding into another one of Rena’s potential matchmaking schemes but, before she knew it, she began questioning whether Rena may have seen something she was too oblivious to. Then she began to wonder if Add could even like her in such a way at all. Lately, he seemed to tolerate her at best.
These thoughts kept rattling around in the spear maiden’s mind, morphing into new ones or jumping back to older ones she could’ve sworn she had already dismissed, until the very possibility of Add liking her in such a way made her heart quicken its pace and her body feel slightly warmer.
Nights spent alone with him now made Ara nervous. Sometimes she’d consider simply switching off shifts before either of them could get a word out, while other times she’d spend her whole shift fighting the urge to wander around elsewhere to avoid him and sort out her confusing feelings. She had even considered having Eun take over for a night, but remembering the few tales the fox spirit would regale her with, she knew she’d be thrown into an even bigger mess than the one she was already in.
Ara was well aware of how much of an open book she was. All the occasional glances in Add’s general direction and the blush that’d bloom on her cheeks on the off chance they’d trade looks were as clear as the sun on a cloudless day. Every time it happened, she’d wish she were better at hiding it, as now she was being bombarded with more questions, wild assumptions and encouraging shoves from Rena, Eun and even Elesis. And, through it all, Add remained quiet and neutral. Even when Elesis purposely tried to get a rise out of him, he never gave in a way that’d feed into the thoughts she had. Ara believed that it was nothing short of divine intervention that their relationship continued as if nothing changed—that Add never just stopped interacting with her—and, with more and more additional threats that the Party had to face, all the teasing soon died down. Naturally, there’d be no time for that as everyone forced themselves past their absolute limits, the constant sense of urgency the group faced distracting them from the more trivial things. If Ara was being honest, she was a tad grateful for it all. Those feelings of unease and uncertainty towards Add were replaced with relief and joy at the growth he and the rest of the Search Party made whilst straining themselves within the ancient sanctuary of the Elrian people. However, those feelings were short-lived; the anxiety quickly bubbled back up following the quiet period as the Search Party made preparations for their next step in the direction of the Demon Realm. It was like the quiet before the storm as the possibility of a surprise attack headed by the enigmatic Henir Fanatics hung in the air all around them, but the Search Party let themselves relax in spite of it thanks to Denif’s calm assurance; certain that he, the remaining El Masters, Priestesses and Lady would make for sufficient defense for the restored El.
And so, Ara found herself alone with Add under the starry night sky once more.
Standing watch was no longer necessary now that they remained stationed in Elrianode, but Ara had gotten too used to the position. As if being led by her thoughts buzzing around like overactive worker bees in the hive that was her mind, Ara found herself just on the outskirts of the holy city and promptly sat herself down on a nearby rock. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that it took her awhile to realize that she unknowingly sat herself near Add, who remained seated on his Dynamos. His eyes were closed shut with his head resting atop one of his hands as the other rested in his lap balled up into a soft fist. Save for the slight rise and fall of his chest, he was as still as a statue, leaving Ara to wonder if he simply decided to sleep on his own away from everyone’s late night chattering.
With nothing much else to do, Ara decided to observe Add; the first thing springing up from the busy buzzing in her head being how much the young man had physically grown. Initially, he wasn’t much bigger than her in terms of both stature and musculature, but now his physique nearly rivaled that of Raven’s, who had years of physical training long before tragedy struck him down and led him to the El Search Party. Ara immediately equated Add’s new muscles to his fighting style, which had become much more active and wild in the years she got to witness it. She could admit that she was impressed with how much muscle mass he gained in such a short time frame, just as she found it amusing how he now towered over her by half of a foot when they used to be the same height. A small smile easily wormed its way onto Ara’s face as she continued to observe her friend, swelling with an equally small bit of pride over how, yes, she could consider him a friend without any doubts.
Jumping back to his muscles, Ara’s eyes traveled around his form, drawn to his forearms and the sleek black rings that circled around them. She never took notice of them before, but they looked more metallic than she originally thought. Were they cold to touch? Or were they hotter than his skin? Would they be as hard as his muscles? Or even harder? And would she ever get the chance to touch them? Small speckles of pink began working their way up to the skin of her face as her thoughts began to buzz once more, ballooning into ones filled with more embarrassing questions. What would an embrace with those arms feel like? Would his chest feel nice enough to lean into? Let herself melt away into? She could feel Eun gearing herself up to tease her until sunrise over this, but the more she tried to make her mind focus on something else—anything else—the more it did the opposite.
Nothing else could catch her attention after that. At least, nothing else that could pop all the shameless thoughts in her mind. Add looked stronger, more handsome, and Ara’s continued observations just spawned more and more embarrassing thought balloons that she could practically hear Eun laughing wildly at the most shameless ones from the back of her mind. Her face felt as if it were burning slowly and her only two options were to surrender herself to her thoughts or run off to sort herself out and face Eun’s relentless teasing. Even if the latter sounded like one she’d latch onto without question, she chose the former. If she were being honest, she was exhausted with trying to force these thoughts back into the depths of her mind where she thought she could ignore them, and she really couldn’t tear her eyes away from Add’s form. He looked good—better than good—and she knew it. Eun knew it. She was sure Add himself knew it, too, with how he carried himself.
The oversized fur-lined coat that he had slung over his shoulders like a cape paired surprisingly well with the tears, spikes and studs that graced the rest of his clothing, giving him an air of class in the midst of all the danger he emanated. His fighting style wasn’t the only thing that helped cement his dangerous image either, as the high intellect he maintained would often be used through cutting wit and biting remarks that could leave deeper, longer-lasting scars onto whoever he thought deserved a tongue-lashing. Both brains and brawn could be used to completely crush his enemies if he desired, and he brandished a frenzied grin regardless of whichever he used. The scar that ran around his neck also helped to propel the image even further with how he just flashed it so freely, as if it were proof of how he’s seen worse and has probably beaten it back with his bare hands ten times o—wait.
That scar was something Ara had never seen before. When did he get it? Where did he get it? Was it during their adventures together or before then? Had anyone else noticed? Did he always keep his neck bare like that?
Now she couldn’t focus on anything else. Both her eyes and mind stayed transfixed on the jagged ring of marred flesh that circled around Add’s neck. Her gaze slowly grew more intense, more fiery, as she fished around for any kind of plausible explanation behind it. Something caused it. Someone had caused it and, though she knew he more than likely handled it by now, a part of her burned with the desire to strike that being with her spear. She wished for an answer, but it wasn’t like she could just ask him about it. She knew it must’ve been as personal as it was prominently splayed onto his body.
Just like that, the fire in Ara’s gaze was quickly snuffed out by piercing magenta eyes shooting back at her orange ones. She must’ve stared too hard and for too long to the point of disturbing Add from his sleep as, from her angle, the young man was glaring her down. He broke out of his relaxed stance completely as he straightened his back out and crossed his arms, his eyes staying focused on Ara as he shifted. She could only imagine what was going through his mind behind those eyes. It was a look that made her quake with fear and... a bit of something else—
“What are you staring at?”
It was a simple question, but Add’s tone of voice almost always made it seem like he was ready to laugh in someone’s face regardless of their answer. As much as he dialed back on such a response over the course of many simple conversations the two of them have shared over the years, Ara couldn’t answer. She couldn’t find the right words to make it sound appropriate, and she definitely wasn’t about to let Eun take the reins. Heat quickly rose from her toes to the tip of her head as she made a futile effort to look for the proper words until she could feel the heat causing her eyes to water. She didn’t stop until she felt like she was inching ever closer to passing out (which would allow for Eun to surface), so she shot her hands up to her throat, letting out a choked squeak as if she were surprised by her own movements. Add would’ve dismissed such a move as another one of Ara’s over-exaggerated gestures were it not for the look she gave him as she rubbed at her throat. Her eyes bore worry, shame and, if he squinted, pity, and he figured as much. She was such a simple person. She was so easy to read—easier than a children’s book.
Though annoyed with her trying and failing to dance around the subject, Add simply cocked his head over, bearing his neck in full view in her direction as he jammed a thumb at his scar. “It’s this thing, isn’t it.”
Ara sheepishly nodded as she pointed her eyes down to the ground and peeped out a small apology for being so insensitive. The knot that had formed in her stomach from her earlier bout of panic tugged at her as it tightened in reaction to the heavy sigh Add pushed out from the depths of his lungs.
“Don’t be an idiot,” he huffed, crossing his arms once more, “This is nothing. Doesn’t mean anything. Shouldn’t have meant anything.”
His words sounded harsh, but the fact that he answered so plainly—that he didn’t resort to mocking her for “panicking like an idiot” amongst other possible things like he would have in the days following when they first met—was what Ara needed to hear to, at the very least, stop mentally kicking herself.
Still, though. The last sentence he spoke (sounding more like muttering under his breath) bothered her. “It shouldn’t have meant anything.” So, it still held painful memories up to the point where he decided to show it off.
“Are you sure?” she asked in a hushed tone, “It’s just that I’ve never seen it before now.”
She managed to pull her eyes from the ground back up to her friend’s form. Though she was fidgeting again and thought she was still being invasive, she persisted. The only things that allowed her to continue were her own selfish curiosity and Add’s slightly softer gaze. And so, she took a quick breath.
“It’s just that it... it looks to be too large to have been recent. This is selfish of me, but... I’m curious as to how you got it.”
A long pause settled in between the two after she finally got the words out. Some part of her—a big part—still felt ashamed having asked such a thing while even expecting a straight answer, but she would’ve felt worse if she kept trying (and failing) to dance around the topic until Add’s (already) thin patience wore away and snapped.
She was left to play with her fingers as she dug the tips of her shoes into the dirt below her, her eyes maintaining contact with Add’s until he closed his, possibly to think of how best to respond. It didn’t take him too long.
“It was a long time ago,” he barked, “And it’s a long story, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Got it?”
Ara let out a low hum in response. She wasn’t satisfied with such an answer. It was clear that the story behind her friend’s scar still got to him on a level she couldn’t reach, but it was best to not push it. He wasn’t obligated to tell her anyway. If they spend more time together, he’d tell her when he was ready. And if that time didn’t come, then that should still be okay, because it’s his burden to carry. It’s not one he wants to share and it’s not one he should share. She still knew next to nothing of Add’s personal life before the El Search Party or before Eve, so it wouldn’t make sense to force him into sharing it. Still, something nagged at her from the back of her mind.
She wanted to help shoulder the pain behind those scars. She wanted to do so with every one of her friends but, with Add, she wanted to on a more personal level. It was a selfish feeling, she knew, but she couldn’t help it. She just wanted to help. She wanted to take whatever pain still lingered away. She at least wanted to push it back as far as she could.
Her eyes trailed back up to the scar on his neck and refused to leave, even when Add sucked his teeth upon noticing it. Ara simply closed her eyes slightly as she bit her lip, readying herself for whatever consequences she’d face for what was about to come out of her mouth.
“What if I... made it so it did matter? In a good way?”
A loud “Hah?” was Add’s immediate reaction, followed by him tensing up his muscles as Ara rose to her feet and approached him with slow, determined steps. They tensed up even more from the surprising contact the spear maiden made when she seated herself on the farthest corner of one of his knees, her eyes flicking up at his before refocusing on his neck. He could’ve sworn he caught glimpses of silver hairs and a flash of red in her eyes as she shimmied closer and grabbed his shoulders; her dainty figure and typically airy movements would suggest that her grip wouldn’t be as strong as it was.
“H-hey! What are you doing?!” He couldn’t bring himself to move for reasons he couldn’t understand at that moment and mentally cursed himself for it. Some part of him probably wanted for this to happen, but why? The fact she was now settled in his lap completely wasn’t helping things in the slightest.
“What I suggested.” Her voice wasn’t helping either. It didn’t come out shaky or nervous, but serious. It was serious enough to make the skin of his face, neck and ears feel like they were erupting from the prickling feeling that ran under it. It was serious enough to make him wish that it’d be used directly against his ears—shit.
“It’s selfish, but I want to make it matter.” Shit! Her words made him angry, he had to admit, but he was nearly overwhelmed by the prickling that ran under his skin heating it up so quickly. He went completely stiff as the hands gripping his shoulders were replaced by her elbows as she leaned in closer, pressing as much of her body up against his as she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought her face in closer. “I want to make it matter in a way only I can and...” Shit, shit!
Reflexively, Add jerked his head away. He couldn’t look directly at Ara without every breath in his throat hitching like an idiot until he realized the grave error he just made. He left her an opening, “Shit—!” and hissed at the contact as she took it without hesitation.
Her lips were soft and warm against his neck. It was a feeling he wanted to back away from, but the vicegrip she held on him would cause him to think of how soft and warm her body was up against his. His hands, which remained suspended at the sides of his face with nowhere to go, eventually hovered over her shoulders before he let one graze her left one while the other fell down to a part of his lap that wasn’t occupied.
He couldn’t help but slightly wince every time she pressed her lips onto another part of the scar, and he couldn’t do much until she felt she was done. It was stupid, really. Stupid how she thought this would make things any better, and stupid how he was keeping himself from putting a stop to it. Sure, Ara had the raw physical strength, but they’re seated on his Dynamos. A sizeable shock would startle her enough for him to break free and push her off... but he didn’t want that. Something in his gut refused to do it, to break free from her warm hold. He wanted to easily tell himself that he didn’t want Ara perching herself on his lap, hooking her arms around his neck, pressing herself up against his body and planting kisses all over his neck, but a part of himself wouldn’t let him. That part of himself was... enjoying it. The feeling may have been small, but it was there. He was enjoying it and he wanted to punch himself for it.
Another sharp breath shot out from his nostrils as Ara worked her way from the side of his neck to under his chin, using a hand to softly guide his head upwards as she planted a small kiss right next to his Adam’s apple. His hands snuck their way onto Ara’s body—one on her shoulder and the other on her thigh—as she repositioned herself, her legs now spread apart with one nestled in between both of Add’s. He was starting to lose the ability to force his mind into focusing on other things, anything. The small enjoyment he found in this sudden turn of events had ballooned and was taking up most of the space in his mind. He tried to keep his pitiable display to a minimum, but the small tug he felt on his Adam’s apple (did she suck on it??) was enough to force a choked groan out from his lips. Dammit, he must’ve sounded pathetic. It was getting to be too much, and he wasn’t sure what was going to come about if she kept going. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if she kept this up.
Much to his relief, she stopped right after that and now had her head against his chest as if to hide her face from him. He noticed that one of her arms was no longer wrapped around his neck and figured that she must’ve been using it to place a hand over her mouth.
“I’m sorry,” she muttered in a voice full of nerves that popped the balloon in Add’s head, “I got—I... That shouldn’t... have been my first move.”
Soon enough, she pulled the other arm back, clasping her hands together as she slipped off Add’s leg. He half-expected her eyes to stick to the ground but, to his surprise, she was glancing up at him, even as her face was lit up in such a bright shade of red. He reflexively crossed his arms and legs as he darted his head off to the side in a terrible attempt at hiding his own flushed face. He was still coming down from wherever his mind propelled him and was unable to even look at her as a result. All he could do was let out a heavy sigh that morphed into a frustrated groan as one of his hands shot up to his neck to rub at his scar, vividly remembering every small sensation that sparked up in response to her lips.
“Whatever,” he managed to force out as he stole a glance. She was no longer trying to look him in the eye, probably kicking herself over being rude in more ways she ever thought possible. The heat on his face wouldn’t die down fast enough and it absolutely didn’t help with how empty his hands already felt without so much as a tiny bit of her to hold. El, almighty, he could feel himself being the biggest dumbass on Elrios right now.
Ara eventually seated herself on her rock and the two stayed where they were, stealing glances every now and then, until they could see the sky get the tiniest bit brighter. Sunrise was approaching all too quickly.
The first to rise to their feet was Add as he recalled his Dynamos and shoved his hands into his pockets. No longer flustered or jittery, he shot a solid look at Ara, who could only return it with a glance over her shoulder as she fiddled with her fingers. They were too close to her lips.
“You didn’t get the rest of it,” he finally said as he used one of his hands to trace the other half of the scar that remained untouched by her earlier actions. Her eyes grew wide as she brought a hand to her lips, her face growing redder than a certain boy’s hair once more, as Add turned the other way and started heading back into the city. He could only suspect that she was going to let herself drown in her own embarrassment for the remainder of the night and maybe get teased by whatever spirit she shared her body with, but he was more preoccupied with getting out of there. He had been an idiot back there and he was still being an idiot now. He hadn’t completely punched that part of himself who wanted more, who thrived on the strange heat his body was sucked into and, if he were being honest, he kind of didn’t want to. For now, anyway. At least, not until she finished what she started, and he could pay her back for it in double. No, tenfold.
Regardless, he’d let that frenzied little grin creep its way up to his face just this once. If she left any marks (shit, did she leave any marks?), then maybe he could partake in teasing the wily little spear maiden. From a distance, of course.