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Out of Spoons

Summary:

Reader has an invisible illness that causes her chronic pain. Natasha befriended her several years prior to the start of this story and has been insisting on taking the reader for a night out with the other Avengers. Reader reluctantly agrees knowing the consequences will be difficult the following days.

Notes:

I was inspired after seeing a fic on tumbler featuring a self conscious reader with a disability. Being disable myself with an invisible illness (EDS) I wanted to write a short series on what it's like to try and enjoy a night out knowing that you won't be able to function for days afterwards. Hopefully this helps someone else going through the same thing feel included and understood. Much love.

A/N: I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the Spoon theory used by people with invisible illnesses. If you aren’t, go check it out here. The theory is by Christine Miserandino and is a fantastic tool. I was inspired to write a reader insert with an invisible disability (in this case Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome as that is what I am most familiar with). I really hope it resonates with someone, and makes others feel included. Much love.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Natasha, do you have any idea how many spoons a night out at the club requires?” (Yn) sighed as she rolled up her yoga mat.

“Please? You’ll have so much fun. I promise we won’t stay out too late,” Nat put on her best puppy eyes while (yn) simply pressed her lips into a thin line.

“It’s not just that, it’s getting ready, finding something to wear, surviving the night out, getting home and getting washed up and getting to bed. That doesn’t even include recovering the rest of the weekend,” (yn) shrugged her shoulders and walked with Natasha out of the studio. “Plus, ‘late’ is anything past 9 for me.” (Yn) laughed and shook her head. “It’s just not a good idea.”

Nate’s mouth twisted to the side in thought. “I’ll help you get ready and make sure you get home alright.”

(Yn) looked up at the sky, letting her cheeks puff out. If it were only that simple. She’d be out of commission the rest of the weekend. Cooking, cleaning, errands would be out of the question. Before she could open her mouth to resist once more Natasha worked to sweeten the deal.

“And you’ll stay at the tower. Just rest, no one will bother you, meals will be ready you just have to eat. I have a guestroom on my floor or you could have a whole floor to yourself. Please, I can’t remember the last time you had a recent story to share about something fun you did.”

(Yn) glanced at Natasha walking at her side. “Fine...but you can’t laugh at what I have to pack for one weekend..”

Nat smiled triumphantly and made her way alongside (Yn) to her apartment, slowing while (Yn) stopped to rotate her ankle until she gave a small nod she was ready to continue.

(Yn)’s apartment was small and though she tried to keep it maintained, it was in a constant state of organized chaos. Tossing her yoga mat and workout bag in its spot near the door, (Yn) ushered Natasha further into her apartment grabbing a duffel bag as they made their way into the small bedroom.

“Can you grab my toiletries from the bathroom?” (Yn) called out as she rifled through her closet for a comfortable yet appropriate outfit for a night out. “How fancy are we talking, Nat?”

“Club,” she called from the bathroom.

“Son of a...” (Yn) muttered as she flipped through her closet. How does one find something comfortable enough that won’t put pressure on her ribs, that won’t rub her skin raw, but also looks good enough for a club? With a frustrating sigh, (Yn) chose a sun dress. The material flowed and was extremely soft, the torso ruched and elastic. The only down side, it would require a real bra. (Yn) looked forlornly at her comfortable sports bra, tossing it into her bag for the next day before grudgingly putting in her “proper” underwire bra.

“You ready?” Nat asked tossing the last of (Yn)s toiletries into the duffel bag.

“Almost,” she said before adding a few pairs of sweats, tank tops, and underthings. Natasha’s eyebrows rose when she saw (Yn) start methodically adding medication bottle after medication bottle before carefully selecting which braces she might need. For good measure she tossed in a roll of KT tape before zipping the bag closed.

“You really think you’ll need all that?” Natasha asked carefully.

“I know if I didn’t bring it I’d need it,” (Yn) said before hefting the bag onto her shoulder. She winced and shifted the bag’s weight while grabbing her purse.

Natasha was reconsidering the wisdom of this evening out for (Yn). She understood the potential risks for (Yn) but seeing her prepare was slightly disconcerting.

"We walking or..."

“No,” Natasha quickly interrupted. “One of Stark’s drivers should be here any minute. You need help with that?” She nodded to the heavy bag on (Yn)’a shoulder. (Yn) quickly shook her head, it was just a bag, she could handle it for now.

“I’ll be fine,” she lied with a smile as she locked the door to her apartment. “Let’s just get to the tower to relax, I’ll need to psych myself up to handle a night out with you crazy people. You’re sure the others at the tower won’t mind me staying there...?” She asked carefully. (Yn) had met them on several occasions but was certainly not on a first name buddy buddy basis with any of them aside from Nat.

“Of course not, you’re there as my guest, (Yn),” she assured (Yn) before opening the door of the waiting car. “They’ll just be glad to have another one along for a night out.”

“Alright,” (Yn) forced a smile, “let’s do this,” she said as the car drove off toward the tower.