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Kuroo always had sensitive hearing. It was why Kenma could never get away with mumbling complaints during volleyball practice. It was also probably why Kenma was able to become friends with Kuroo in the first place. Kenma always spoke low and mumbled his way through life, but Kuroo always heard him. Never asked him to speak up or repeat himself. Kenma grew comfortable and was grateful for that.
It was no real surprise that Kuroo had difficulty with thunderstorms. He wasn’t afraid, per say, but he wasn’t fond of them. It was so much louder to him than it was for a normal person.
When they were little, Kuroo would always hide under the blankets and shove a pillow up against his ears in an effort to avoid hearing the loud booming that pierced through the sky and shook the house.
Kenma always thought it would get easier for Kuroo as they got older. That his hearing wouldn’t be so sensitive since he would inevitably damage his ears though either through listening to his music too loud or being around Koutarou. It never seemed to happen though. Kuroo still didn’t deal well with thunderstorms. Except now, anytime a thunderstorm was approaching, Kuroo always came to Kenma’s and spent the night.
“Really, Kuro? How can you claim to be an adult? You’re going to university next year and you can’t even deal with a little thunderstorm.”
“Shut up, nerd. You know damn well I’m not afraid of the thunder it just hurts my ears.”
Kenma didn’t really care that Kuroo liked to come over when there were thunderstorms. Kenma had started to take advantage of thunderstorms long ago. He’d even gone through the trouble to make a rain doll once. He burned it in spite after a two-month drought.
Kenma felt bad that he was talking advantage of his friend’s weakness, but he was selfish. He looked up to Kuroo, even though he would never admit that to his face. Kuroo had always been there and with that, Kenma had developed a crush long ago. So Kenma took advantage of these days, and their close friendship, and used it as an excuse to cuddle with Kuroo under the covers. Especially, since he feared these days were reaching a permanent end soon.
When the storms would start, Kenma would let Kuroo borrow his large headphones, plug them into whatever game Kenma was playing, cuddle up, and hide under the covers until they fell asleep. Usually Kuroo fell asleep first since Kenma was very occupied by his game and rapidly beating heart.
When Kuroo would fall asleep, Kenma would watch him from the corner of his eyes. He’d memorize the soft expression Kuroo gave when he slept and the way his mouth would come open and how he’d drool a little bit on Kenma. Later Kenma would complain about how gross Kuroo was to drool on him and demand Kuroo wash his clothes for him, but he didn’t really mean it. It was all part of the friend act.
Kenma was starting to hate time and the fact that he was running out of it. Kuroo’s third year was quickly approaching an end. They were spending more and more time in volleyball practice together, but it still didn’t feel like enough time. Kenma wanted more. He needed more.
But he could never admit to Kuroo that he liked him. That would be madness.
Instead, he just watches the way Kuroo’s chest rises and falls in his sleep and how his face would twitch with his dreams.
“Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to tell you that I love you” Kenma lightly traces his fingers across Kuroo’s forehead, moving some of his hair way from his face. “Good night, Tetsurou.”
When Kuroo went off to college, Kenma felt the instant gap in his life. Kuroo was still close by. Anything was close by with the bullet trains, but he felt so far away. Kenma didn’t realize how convenient it was to have your crush and best friend live next door. Now that he was gone, Kenma found himself looking forlornly out his window toward Kuroo’s house instead of focusing on his games. Apparently Kuroo’s mom caught him a few times because apple pies would randomly be brought over when Kenma was doing a lot of sighing and staring out the window. If he wasn’t actually so distraught, he would’ve started using this tactic to get more apple pie.
Instead of bothering Kuroo who was off on some big college adventure, no doubt partying and making the best of his youth, Kenma gave his life to the only three other things he knew: school, volleyball, and of course, games. Keeping busy made time go by faster. That was the theory. But in reality, it only made Kenma lonelier. It remined him of how Kuroo used to always be there when he played games. How he’d watch over his shoulder and ask questions even though Kenma knew Kuroo already knew the answers to.
Kuroo still texted Kenma. Probably more frequently than he should, but Kenma lived for those random texts. He’d asked more than once why he was smiling down at his phone. Apparently, he needed to work on his poker face when it came to Kuroo. Maybe it was just easier to control his facial expressions when Kuroo’s annoying face was in front of him.
Months passed, and Kenma still hadn’t seen Kuroo. He buried himself further and further into anything he could get his hands on instead of dealing with loneliness, or worse, giving away that he missed Kuroo.
Not only would it go to Kuroo’s head and he’d obnoxiously brag about it, but Kenma didn’t want to let Kuroo think Kenma liked him that much. Friends didn’t ask each other to come home every now and then. They didn’t ask to come visit when it would take hours to get there. That’s not what friends do, right?
Kenma remained steadfast and Kuroo was the first to ask Kenma if he wanted to come over for a holiday weekend. After making Kuroo wait for a response, he gave a quick “sure” before planning what games and clothes to pack for the trip and how to transport food all the way there without it spoiling. Most importantly though, he checked the weather. Kenma considered himself a selfish man. He wanted to hold Kuroo under the covers and comfort him as thunderstorms passed overhead. He missed that.
The weather was a homophobic cockblock and showed days upon days of pure cloudless sunshine in the forecast.
“What good are you?” Kenma huffed and tossed his phone on the bed before tossing himself on the bed as well. He contemplated making another rain doll, bet decided he was tool old now for those childish whims. Instead, he counted the seconds until he could see Kuroo again and calculated how he could make the most out of this trip.
Kenma had once considered telling Kuroo how he felt. It only lasted for about 2.5 seconds, or until Kenma remembered all the beautiful people Kuroo had dated. Kenma didn’t think he was bad looking. He was fit from volleyball. His grades were good, and no one could read people better than him. He lacked that fun nature that most people his age had though. He liked to stay indoors and play games. The only exploring he wanted to do was in his games. And maybe exploring Kuroo’s body.
Needless to say, Kenma had long accepted the fact that this was a secret he’d take to his grave. He felt that it was the right choice when as soon as Kuroo opened the door for him, he enveloped him in a large hug and nuzzled Kenma’s head against his own.
“Kennma! Kenma! Have you missed me? I bet your life feels so vacant without me.”
“Not really. It’s so peaceful without your loud mouth around. Now let me go.”
“Aw!” Kuroo squeezes him again before relinquishing Kenma from his hold. “Same old Kenma.”
Kenma tries to bite back a full-body flinch by pushing past Kuroo into his apartment. The apartment, well, it’s not much. It smells like Kuroo though, and Kenma immediately reconsiders staying over. It was dangerous that way. He’d already taken two and a half hours to get here though and he missed Kuroo immensely, so he will have to deal with it.
“What new games have you got?” Kuroo shuts the door and turns to Kenma with that smile that makes Kenma’s heart play you lose music.
Kenma shoves the large bag of food Kuroo’s mom, his mom, and maybe even Kenma had made for Kuroo, into Kuroo’s hands. “Spyro remastered. Haven’t even opened it yet.”
“Spyro?” Kuroo tilts his head. “That’s not usually your type of game.”
He’s not wrong. It’s more of a Kuroo type of game. But, if it meant they got to play games together and Kenma got to see Kuroo get excited and smile over it, then it was money well spent.
Kenma shrugs. “It’s three games for the price of one.” He shuffles toward the TV to set up his PS4 and get the game ready. “Heat me up some food. I’m hungry after the pilgrimage I had to make to get here.”
Kuroo gives a hearty laugh. “It’s not that far!”
“Two and a half hours, Kuro!”
“Y-yeah. I guess it is far.” He puts some food in the microwave before plopping down on the couch beside Kenma. “Sorry I haven’t made it out to come see you lately.”
“I’m sure you’re busy with studies, volleyball, and parties.” Kenma mumbles, pressing the buttons on the controller harder than necessary. In an even lower voice he adds, “And sleeping around.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Kenma flinches a bit. “What?”
“You think I sleep around a lot?”
“You’re in college now” Kenma trails off hoping Kuroo would get it and just agree instead of arguing.
“Ken-maa” Kuroo groans and promptly collapses on top of Kenma despite groans. “I can’t believe you think I’d just be sleeping around all the time instead of focusing on studying.”
“Get off.” Kenma karate chops Kuroo’s head, but he shows no inclination of moving.
“No. Not until you believe me. I’m not wasting time sleeping around. I haven’t even been able to come see you. What makes you think I have time to go on dates?”
“You do realize that you just ranked watching me play games, something that you’ve been doing since we met, over getting laid, right?”
“Well, duh. You’re more important to me than some hookup.”
It’s times like this that Kenma’s glad he’s kept his hair long and covering his eyes. He doesn’t want to, but he can’t help the way his eyes widen at that.
“Weirdo.” He mashes some more buttons. “Where’s my food?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Kuroo rolls off Kenma and the couch to run and get the almost abandoned food from the microwave.
Kenma sighs deeply before muttering under his breath. “You too. You’re more important.”
The sound of a container hitting the floor scares Kenma so bad, he jumps and whips his head around to see Kuroo standing about fifteen feet away still. He’s holding chopsticks in one hand and his other is mid-air still in the position it had been before he’d let the food that’s now on the floor drop. His mouth is hanging open like someone’s just told him he’s won the Nobel Prize and his eyes are locked on Kenma.
“Shit. It’s not like that.” Kenma looks back to his game and tries to steady his breathing. “You’re my best friend.”
“Kenma, I’ve know you for years. I know that’s not what you meant.” Kuroo sets the chopsticks down and steps over the ruined food toward Kenma. He sits on the couch, leaving a little distance between himself and Kenma. In a softer voice he asks, “Why didn’t you tell me?”.
“You didn’t need to know. Nobody wants their childhood friend hopelessly in love with them, following them around like a lost puppy, when you could be living your life.”
“Kenma.” Kuroo’s voice is soft. Too soft. It’s that voice parent’s get when trying to console a sobbing child. “Look at me.”
Kenma shakes his head and curls up into himself more for protection. His hands were pressing buttons from pure muscle memory, but his brain was mapping out an escape route. Kuroo was faster and stronger than him, but not as good a strategist. He knew Kenma well though and might be able to guess his movements if he made a run for it. Kenma would have to be creative in the next few seconds.
Before Kenma can come up with an effective exit plan, he feels Kuroo’s hand on his chin, guiding his face to look at him. Kenma places his best scowl on as he runs Spyro off a cliff accidentally.
“You made me lose.”
Ignoring the game completely, Kuroo just looks at Kenma with tenderness. “Me too.”
Kenma jerks his head back in indignation and tries to escape from Kuroo, but Kuroo realizes his folly and pins Kenma down before he can run. Kuroo’s too heavy for Kenma to push off, so he quickly gives up. His hands are pinned to the couch, so clawing his way out isn’t an option. The only viable option right now was to knee Kuroo in the junk, but that seemed a bit too cruel. Kenma turns his head as far as possible into the couch, trying to cover his face with as much hair as possible.
“Not the part about not wanting you to follow me around or being pathetic. You’re the most important person to me. We’ve grown up together and I just never knew how to tell you. I figured you knew already but didn’t feel the same. I tried to bury it.”
Kuroo unpins Kenma’s hands and slowly pulls some hair away from his face. Kenma smacks his hand away but Kuroo goes right back to uncovering Kenma’s face.
“Kuro, please stop. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
Kuroo gives a snort. “You’re right. What I said might be ambiguous. In that case, I’ll say it differently. I love you Kenma. Not in a best friend or family way. In a romantic way. I’d be honored if you would date me.”
“Don’t tease me about this. It’s not funny.”
“Why don’t you ever believe me?” Kuroo sighs and leans down.
There’s hot breath on Kenma’s cheek followed by lips pressing against him.
“I mean it when I say I love you.”
Kenma flinches slightly and turns his head to see Kuroo, to make sure it was him still straddling him and pressing his lips against Kenma’s face.
Kuroo runs one hand through Kenma’s hair and holds the back of Kenma’s head. “Can I kiss you? I’ve wanted to for years. It’s been so hard to not. Every time your eyes lit up from a game or a challenge, every time we won a game, and every time we were huddled under the covers I had to remind myself that I couldn’t even though the first thing I wanted to do every time was pick you up and kiss you until you punched me.”
“Stupid.”
“Haaa.” Kuroo breathes out. “I’m sorry. I thought if you felt the same that we’d date just like that. I guess that was presumptuous. I-”
“I checked to see if it would rain before I came in hopes that it would.”
Kuroo tilts his head a little trying to understand what Kenma’s saying.
Kenma tries to bury his head back in the couch. “I was hoping for thunderstorms, so we could cuddle and it not be weird. I’ve missed it. I’ve missed having you around.”
“Really?”
Kenma gives a big sigh. “Yes, you idiot.”
Kuroo doesn’t move and Kenma can feel him staring at him while trying to piece everything together.
Kenma leans up and presses his lips to Kuroo’s.
“I love you too, Kuro.”