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Kyungsoo can’t think of anything worse than rejecting a confession. There are so many reasons that make it suck. One, the feeling of dread that washes through his body when he figures out what’s going on. Two, the fact that someone could like him romantically is just too far out there for his brain to comprehend. Three, he’s going to be weird about it and end up avoiding the person for the rest of high school, no matter how close he and the confessor are. Four, he has to just wait throughout the entire drawn out thing, knowing he’s going to say no. That’s where he currently is in the process.
Hyunsik, bless his heart, is stumbling through stanza 7 of a 12-stanza poem. Hyunsik hadn’t told Kyungsoo what he was reading to him; he had just said something about a school project he needed help with. By stanza 2, Kyungsoo had figured out that the poem was about him and was now forced to stand there through 10 more stanzas.
Finally, the poem comes to an end, but not before Hyunsik ends up calling Kyungsoo his sun, and man, does Kyungsoo feel that like a punch to the gut. Kyungsoo readily acknowledges that if he were to never talk to Hyunsik again, he’d be fine with that. They’re school friends, but Kyungsoo wouldn’t actually say that they’re real friends. But Hyunsik thinks he’s the sun. THE SUN! The difference in emotion is too much and Kyungsoo almost feels sick with the dread that washes over him anew. He’s uncomfortable. Already he can see himself having to avoid Hyunsik just to give himself peace of mind. But first he has to reject Hyunsik.
Hyunsik doesn’t look any better for having read the poem, if anything he looks worse. Kyungsoo supposes that his own facial expression isn’t doing anything to ease Hyunsik. Hyunsik probably knows what’s coming.
Kyungsoo coughs to clear his throat and give himself another moment of respite before the inevitable awkwardness that's bound to ensue. “Uh, Hyunsik, I’m glad you were able to express your feelings, and I hope that clears up some of the anxiety you were feeling before you wrote the poem. But I can’t return your feelings.”
Hyunsik freezes and Kyungsoo wonders if he’s said enough to be able to bow out now. Hyunsik continues not to say anything and now Kyungsoo feels his own anxiety increasing. He has to say something else now so he can reassure Hyunsik that it’s not him. Luckily this isn’t his first confession. He coughs again.
“It's because I like someone else.”
Kyungsoo does not like anyone, but he thinks it helps soften the blow. It’s got to be easier to swallow the idea that Kyungsoo likes someone else rather than Hyunsik just not being appealing to Kyungsoo at all. Then again, Minseok was of the opinion that it was easier to like someone if they didn’t like anyone at all. Kyungsoo knows there’s merit to the idea, but right now, he wants to instantaneously feel better, so he lies.
Hyunsik unfreezes and he blinks slowly as he processes the words. “Who?” The word falls so softly from his lips that Kyungsoo almost doesn’t hear him. Kyungsoo ponders the request. Honestly, he knows he has every right to refuse, but this is also a lie, so what does it matter.
“Jongin.” Jongin Kim, arguably the most popular guy at their school. He’s the captain of the school basketball team, a member of the all-state basketball team, one of the dance team's lead dancers, and he’s on track to graduate in the top 1%. He's a veritable god with the number of lackeys to prove it. Everybody and their mother has a crush on Jongin. So what if Kyungsoo’s using that fact to make this rejection go easier?
Hyunsik’s face contorts in a sneer. “Jongin? Why?”
Kyungsoo feels a little bit better about rejecting Hyunsik since Hyunsik’s going to be such a jerk about Kyungsoo’s fake crush. Kyungsoo’s had three people confess to him in his entire high school career, and thus used Jongin as an excuse three times, but this is the first time someone’s reacted so caustically.
“I just do. There’s not really any rhyme or reason in crushing on people.”
“Fine,” Hyunsik snaps, and then he just stalks away angrily, poem crushed in his hand. Kyungsoo’s left standing there under the staircase trying to understand what just happened. He did not expect any of that to just happen. He gets that Hyunsik’s hurt about the rejection, but come on.
Kyungsoo ends up sighing. He’s never had his heart broken before so he guesses he really shouldn’t be angry at Hyunsik. It probably really sucks to be rejected. Kyungsoo hopes Hyunsik gets it over it pretty quickly. He’s not really worth being called someone’s sun.
“So you have a crush on me?”
Kyungsoo comes out from under the stairs to look at Kim Jongin leaning over the railing, grinning teasingly. Kyungsoo takes his time to consider his reply. There’s a chance he’ll screw himself over if he says no and it might make the situation with Hyunsik worse. Saying yes could have unintended consequences as well, but…
Jongin’s attractive. High cheekbones, a wide smile, tan skin that looks fantastic against the starch white of the school uniform, and a fit and lean body. Jongin’s striking from the first impression and he only gets better. He’s quick to smile, warm and friendly, and he’s always kind. Even Kyungsoo, with his bare minimum interest in school life, is somewhat charmed by Jongin.
It’s no surprise that Jongin gets as many confessions as he does, and at this point, you can’t really consider yourself an SM student unless you’ve unintentionally walked in on at least 3 confessions to Jongin. With how many confessions Jongin gets, he’s aware of how many people have crushes on him, so there’s probably no consequences to saying yes. Kyungsoo’ll just be one of many.
All of that thought boils down into a shrug and a simple, “yeah,” and then he walks away.
Minseok’s not surprised when Kyungsoo tells him that Hyunsik confessed to him. In fact, he laughs.
“Are you kidding me? The guy kept inviting you to hangout and he kept texting you. He’s been in love with you for at least a year.”
Kyungsoo gets defensive immediately. “I just thought he wanted to be friends.”
Minseok side eyes him. “You never thought he might like you?”
Kyungsoo bites the inside of his cheeks because he did consider it. But almost immediately after he would think it, he’d dismiss it as overthinking. That, of course, lead to him being blindsided by the confession when it did happen.
Minseok, his childhood best friend, recognizes the expression. “It’s not overthinking. It’s actually the correct amount of thinking. You have to understand that some people are going to like you regardless of how terrible your personality is."
"Yeah, maybe."
Minseok sighs. "I don't know why I expected you to have a different response."
Kyungsoo's ready to respond with more of his usual sarcasm when a takeout cup is practically shoved under his nose. Both Minseok and Kyungsoo are surprised to see that the hand holding the cup belongs to Jongin Kim.
Kyungsoo doesn't take the cup, but does continue to stare in confusion at Jongin. Jongin just gives him his characteristic wide smile. "You drink black coffee, right?"
Kyungsoo looks down at the cup and then back up at Jongin. "Yes?" He doesn't mean it to come out as a question, but he has no idea what's going on right now.
Unperturbed by Kyungsoo's response, Jongin just keeps smiling and shakes the cup lightly. "Well, I got you a cup when I got mine this morning." He raises a second cup briefly.
Kyungsoo's not really one to turn down free coffee, so he takes the cup gingerly and with an equally gingerly smile, raises it slightly in Jongin's direction as a sign of thanks.
Jongin smiles impossibly wider. "Great, I'll see you around." It isn't phrased like a question, but Jongin isn't leaving, so Kyungsoo guesses he has to respond.
"Yeah," because they will see each other around. They're both seniors and thus have all of their classes on the fourth floor, so they will definitely be seeing each other around whether they want to or not.
"Great, so I'll see you then." It's almost a word-for-word repetition of what Jongin said a minute ago, but now Kyungsoo feels like he's promised something.
Kyungsoo and Minseok both watch as Jongin starts walking backwards, still smiling. Kyungsoo's amazed that the smile still reads as warm and friendly even though Jongin never once stopped smiling. Finally, Jongin steps into a wall and is thus forced to turn around. Even then, Kyungsoo and Minseok stand in silence until Jongin's turned the corner. And then Minseok explodes.
"What the fuck was that?" Minseok looks like he's won he lottery with how excited he is.
Kyungsoo looks at him incredulously, "Did it look like I knew what the fuck was going on?"
"Jongin Kim just gave you coffee. He knows that you drink black coffee. When did he start liking you and why didn't you tell me?" Minseok punches Kyungsoo's shoulder with each word. Kyungsoo takes a step back. Minseok's too excited.
"He doesn't like me. He just heard me say I like him when I was talking to Hyunsik, and then I just didn't correct him when he asked me."
"Okay, so since he heard you, he thinks he has a chance, which would explain this weird behavior." Minseok's nodding to himself like his words actually make sense, even though they don't because Jongin doesn't like him. It doesn't make sense.
"He doesn't like me," Kyungsoo repeats.
Minseok scoffs. "Are you kidding me? Were you not paying attention? He brought you coffee and he didn't even acknowledge my existence."
"That means nothing," Kyungsoo replies, but he's losing some of his heat. Jongin is somewhat acting like he might possibly like Kyungsoo. Maybe.
Minseok raises his eyebrows and clicks his tongue to show how much he's enjoying this. "You know who else used to not acknowledge me when they were talking to you?"
"Please, don-"
"Hyunsik."
Kyungsoo doesn't even bother glancing at Minseok as he walks away.
There apparently is more weight to the phrase "I'll see you around" than Kyungsoo originally thought because Jongin greets him with a "there you are" when he finds him in the courtyard.
"Hi," Kyungsoo greets back.
Jongin takes a seat next to him on the grass and stretches out. Kyungsoo makes himself look away because, one, it's not nice to ogle, and, two, he's a little flustered by how good Jongin looks stretched out on the grass next to him.
"What's up?" Jongin asks when he's settled.
Kyungsoo shrugs. "Nothing really, just enjoying the last of the sunlight before it disappears for winter. What about you?"
"Same really, I just finished up a paper for Bang and wanted to relax."
"Nice," Kyungsoo responds, and with that he ends the conversation. He's really not suited for small talk.
Jongin doesn't try to restart the conversation, and they end up spending the rest of the lunch break in silence. Kyungsoo's surprised to find that it's comfortable and he's actually able to continue relaxing. When the bell rings, Jongin gets up and leaves with a simple "See ya."
Kyungsoo finds this interaction even weirder than the coffee incident.
It's Friday when Kyungsoo gets to experience the pleasure of Jongin's company once again. This time Kyungsoo's leaning against one of the columns at the school entrance waiting for his mom to show up. His own car is getting its transmission replaced.
A shadow falls across him. He looks up to see his new favorite person.
"Hey Jongin," Kyungsoo's actually surprised at how warm his greeting is, but he supposes that's what happen when you hang out with Jongin.
Jongin seems particularly excited today and wastes no time with small talk, "So I ended up watching the entire first season, and I don't think I can wait for the second."
Kyungsoo laughs and straightens up, "I know, right? It sucks that the next season doesn't come out till next. I need to know why Jonas is in the future."
Jongin had ended up DMing Kyungsoo two nights ago on Instagram, which quickly turned into texting after they exchanged numbers, and that had escalated into constant texting between the two. Kyungsoo had been really surprised by how much they have in common and is secretly thrilled that Jongin watched his tv recommendations.
"I know, right? I feel like I should have spaced out the episodes so I could enjoy it longer, but I couldn't stop watching."
Kyungsoo nods. "I get that, but I feel like there's so much going on that you need to keep watching just so you don't forget anything."
Jongin nods energetically. He's so hyper for some reason. "Yeah, yeah, yeah for sure. By the way if you like Dark, I think you'd really like Stranger Things."
Kyungsoo is about to tell Jongin that he's already binged Stranger Things when he sees his mom drive up. Kyungsoo can physically feel his face fall. He wants to keep talking to Jongin.
"Hey, my mom's here, so I have to go. We'll talk later, yeah?" Kyungsoo starts moving towards the car as he talks.
A myriad of emotions flash over Jongin's face before finally ending in a pained expression. He grips the stone column until his fingertips turn white from the pressure. "Uh yeah, but hey, do you maybe want to hang out at my house this weekend and watch Stranger Things or something?"
And suddenly Kyungsoo's glad he didn't tell Jongin that he's already binged Stranger Things. He can't help the smile that grows on his face or the quickening of his heartbeat, "Yeah, that sounds great. Text me."
A goofy smile lights up on Jongin's face. "Yeah, yeah, I will. Uh, I'll see you then."
"Yeah," Kyungsoo repeats and then he makes himself open the car door and slide in before he does something stupid like giggle. Unfortunately, the smile on his face is too wide and his mom is quick to comment on it.
"You look happy. What happened?"
"Nothing," Kyungsoo replies. For right now, he just wants to keep this moment to himself.
His mom hums knowingly. "Uhuh, and who were you talking to?"
"Jongin," Kyungsoo can't seem to give more than one word responses.
"And do you like Jongin?"
Everything single thought Kyungsoo could possibly have about the question boils down into a shrug and a simple “yeah."