Chapter Text
“Adrienne,” Dirk said, snapping as many pictures as he could from every possible angle. “I’m pretty sure she has some kind of software that can make sense of this.” She’d been working on it as long as Dirk had known her, perfecting it so she could find and enhance carvings in stone. Hopefully she’d be able to find something.
He stood up, satisfied with the pictures he’d taken, and heard a rustling in the woods to his left. A million possibilities flashed through his head; animal, hiker, wind, any number of natural causes for noise in the woods. Still, something tugged at his gut. Danger.
“Do you hear that?” he whispered, hyper-alert for any more noise or movement.
Todd looked confused, but before he could say anything Dirk felt the tug of danger again. They weren’t supposed to be there and whoever, whatever, was coming would know it. They were obviously snooping and Dirk had a feeling that it would be very, very bad if they were caught. It wasn’t like ruined Puritan settlements were in the tourism brochures, and they had no other reason to be there. Unless-
It was a split-second decision, and Dirk didn’t even have time to think about the potential repercussions. He just said, “I’m sorry about this,” and shoved Todd up against the nearest tree. He had just enough time to register the confusion on Todd’s face before leaning in and kissing him.
He’d expected awkwardness at best, outright rejection at worst, but Todd leaned into it immediately. The hand Todd wrapped around the back of his neck felt natural, not staged. Under different circumstances Dirk might have even been able to pretend it was real.
Unfortunately, the current circumstances involved Rowen emerging from the woods just in time to ruin everything. They exchanged awkward laughter and discussed her thesis, but Dirk still had that unsettling feeling of danger.
“Right,” he said, wanting to leave as soon as possible. “Well, we’ll be going so you can get to it. Martha packed lunch and we wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”
If Rowen said anything they didn’t hear it, because Dirk grabbed Todd’s hand and pulled them out of the clearing before they could even exchange goodbyes. His heart was thumping against his sternum in a strange sort of panic; he couldn’t tell if it was the narrowly-avoided danger or the fact that Todd didn’t let go of his hand until he got into the car.
Dirk’s lips were still tingling when he got behind the wheel of the Jeep. It was starting to sink in that he’d made a colossal mistake. He didn’t say anything and just drove, taking turns when he felt like it without paying any attention to where they actually were. He knew now what it was like to kiss Todd, and that was something he could never unknow, even if he wanted to. He didn’t want to.
He was starting to feel like the whole operation was a bad idea. It had seemed simple and straightforward at first. Easy. He should have known that nothing in his life was ever that simple, and shouldn’t have let himself believe that his lingering crush wasn’t going to be a problem. Obviously he’d been very wrong.
The way Todd had kissed him back had been almost overwhelming, like he’d been acting out of instinct instead of fear of being discovered. He could still feel the ghost of Todd’s hand wrapped around his neck and the way it had seemed almost like a reflex. Maybe, Dirk thought, maybe—
No. Dirk pulled into a campsite and parked the car. Thoughts like that ended in heartbreak and ruined friendships. He grabbed their lunch bags from the back and opened his. It was some kind of bacon, apple, and cheddar sandwich, which obviously was amazing. He chewed thoughtfully for a minute or two, afraid for maybe the first time in his life to speak without thinking.
Ultimately the truth was hard to accept but inescapable. The kiss had been a mistake, and even though Todd had rolled with it, it was meaningless. Rowen had seen them kissing, so there was no way to go back on their cover now. Rowen–
Rowen. She was dangerous, he knew it.
“I don’t like her,” Dirk finally let himself admit, aware that he hadn’t said anything in quite some time.
“Who, Rowen?” Todd asked, obviously not feeling the same danger Dirk did. “She’s nice, probably harmless.”
“Even people who are mostly harmless can be dangerous,” Dirk said. He was starting to second-guess himself. Maybe the uneasiness came from jealousy, not danger. He’d been trying to pretend he wasn’t that far gone for Todd, but maybe he was. “Besides, you just like her because she’s infatuated with you.”
He wasn’t sure if he was expecting confirmation or denial, but he got neither. Todd just opened his lunch and laughed. They chatted about the case for a bit and traded cookies before heading back to the inn, and Dirk felt like he had more questions than answers.
*
They set up downstairs and Dirk typed up the email to Adrienne while the images uploaded. Confident that Todd wouldn’t understand the French, he added a quick note at the bottom.
I wasn’t careful, it said. No one has burned me alive yet but I’m afraid this is worse. I have feelings for Todd, and it’s causing problems. I feel like I can’t trust my gut because I don’t know if I’m acting out of instinct or jealousy. I can’t work without my instincts. If you have any advice to offer, unfortunately now is the time.
When Todd asked for his flash drive, Dirk hit send on the email and handed over the computer. His own flash drive was almost full of episodes of The Great British Bake Off, so Todd’s was probably the better one to use.
“Here you go darling,” he said, hoping the joking, over-exaggerated tone would make it less real.
“Thanks babe,” Todd said, clearly responding automatically without thinking about it. Not exaggerating. Not joking. Natural.
Dirk froze where he was sitting, heart in his throat, wishing desperately that they’d never started this and wondering if that was what Todd would sound like if they were together. He needed to stop using the word “together.” It wasn’t going to happen.
Todd cleared his throat awkwardly, staring determinedly at the computer screen. They didn’t talk about it again.