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Troy couldn’t help the look of disgust on his face. No, honestly, he really couldn’t help but look at the bowl in disgust and wonder… just what the hell was that shit? So he asked.
“It’s popcorn.” Nick answered as if Troy was stupid and Troy was not stupid and that was not popcorn. Nick rolled his eyes. “It is too popcorn.” His boyfriend then brushed passed him with the offending bowl of… whatever the hell that mess of goop and sugary diabetes was that was definitely not popcorn.
“How are you not dead?” Troy asked, looking at Nick in worry as if he would drop dead at any moment and hell, for all Troy knew, he really could drop dead the moment Nick ingested any of that blasphemous snack food.
And then he’d have to rekill the guy (after timing how long it took him to turn of course… what? He was curious. So sue him) and that was something Troy didn’t really want to do.
“Half-dead, remember?” Nick joked and it was Troy’s turn to roll his eyes, but he couldn’t argue. He was the one who had said it in the first place. “Do you want some? Or are you going to eat your disgusting, flavorless kettle shit?” Nick’s words sounded like they should have malice but it was just a genuine question and Troy grabbed a bag off the counter before heading out to join Nick on the couch (they had lucked out to find an actual working generator on their last run. It was still light out as they had set times they were allowed to use said generator and it had to be off by nightfall, but they just blacked out the windows and they were all set to enjoy).
“I think I’ll stick with my trail mix this time.” Troy stated, setting two bowls on the table in front of him. Nick stared at him, his hand in the bowl of popcorn. He looked as if Troy had personally insulted him, his family, his way of living, and everything Nick held dear to him.
“You only eat the nuts in trail mix…” Nick murmured, sounding aghast as Troy did, indeed, separate the m&m’s from the rest of his trail mix and into a bowl that he would throw away later. M&Ms were awful.
And that’s what he told Nick. “They’re not even real chocolate! Did you know there’s not even any chocolate in peanut butter M&Ms? It’s just a shell! And it tastes like fake chocolate!”
Nick then gasped as if he was personally offended. “They’re the best part of the trail mix! The only good part actually!” He grabbed the bowl of M&Ms, dumping them into his popcorn that was… already a mess of things like chocolate sauce and caramel… and cheese powder?
Troy felt like he was going to throw up. “I want a divorce.”
“We’re not even married--” Nick said through a full mouth of disgustingness and Troy almost wanted to laugh. It was so gross… but he also loved Nick.
“...Maybe we should fix that?”
Suddenly Nick started choking on the popcorn and Troy wasn’t sure if it was from the popcorn or because of his question but he jumped up, hitting on Nick’s back. Nick reached for the soda on the table, downing almost half the can as he regained his ability to breath.
“Did you--” he cleared his throat, staring at Troy with wide eyes. “Did you just ask me to marry you?”
Troy had to think for a moment. “...Yes.”
“Yes?” Nick repeated, hands clutching at the bowl that was teetering to fall onto the floor. “...Yes.”
“Wait,” Troy blinked. Did he just... ? “Yes?”
Nick laughed and then nodded, pushing the bowl onto the table and nearly jumping on Troy. His arms wrapped around him and Troy smiled, feeling suddenly warm all over his body as the greatest person he’d ever met told him that he wanted to be his husband. “Yes.”
Even though Nick’s taste in snack food was absolutely the most disgusting thing, Troy wouldn’t change a thing about him.