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Homura sits up in her hospital bed for the fortieth time. She moves quickly, grabbing her clothes and other miscellaneous items (it’s not like she has many), and then sits back down to wait for her mom to pick her up. It always takes exactly seventeen minutes and twenty-three seconds before her mother comes in, gives her a hug, and helps her head back home. The journey to her house is always twenty-three minutes and eleven seconds. She barely listens as her mom tells her about the new school she’ll be starting, and heads to her room to prepare for tomorrow.
She sighs and drops onto her bed. It’s this gap, these moments she has to herself, when the actions will change. She has many, many options for doing something, anything, to prevent Madoka from dying.
Screams still echo in her ears.
She rolls over and thinks briefly about Sayaka and Mami. There must be something she could do, but...
But it’s unlikely. Highly unlikely. She shakes her head and studies her soul gem. Clear, purple, vibrant. This will be the time she saves Madoka. She swears it.
It takes two hours, thirteen minutes and forty-five seconds before she is called out of her room for dinner.
There are so many things that can go wrong, she muses to herself, but there are always these same fundamental things.
Perhaps she should just...
No. No. She will save Madoka.
School is the same as always. She writes her name on the board, sits next to Madoka. Follows Madoka to the office. Tries to reach out to Madoka, but she feels cold inside, and Madoka grows more intimidated by her each time they do this.
So she turns to Sayaka that afternoon.
“Miki Sayaka, right?” she asks, under the pretense of starting a conversation.
“Yeah, that’s me. What’s up?”
“Keep an eye on Madoka,” Homura replies, cutting to the chase. “She is in grave danger if she continues down the road she is currently heading down.”
“What are you talking about?” Sayaka looks confused, puzzled, lost.
“Magical girls,” Homura replies. “She can never become a magical girl.” She taps her thigh once, twice, then makes another decision. “You shouldn’t either.”
“Magical girls?”
“Just don’t!” Homura’s voice cracks, and she hates herself for the desperation in her. It’s been two days; they’ve still got a month and a half. She still has a month and a half.
“How can I trust you? You’re crazy!” Sayaka turns to leave.
“Please. I’m begging you.”
Sayaka looks at her for a long moment, then nods. “Okay.”
Homura can feel Kyuubey staring at her.
“Is that all?” Sayaka asks after the silence has grown thick and awkward.
“Yes. Thank you for listening to me, Sayaka.”
Sayaka smiles tightly. “No problem.” She turns and walks away, and relief floods her gut.
So why does Homura feel like she made the wrong decision?
A month and a half will reveal a lot of answers.
Homura resets the clock for the fortieth time. She does not think about Mami’s death, refuses to let Sayaka’s death prick at her conscious. She ignores the repercussions of Kyoko’s involvement. A new player has been added, and Homura knows she should feel sick. As time rewinds, she considers her foolish actions: insisting that Sayaka and Madoka never join Kyuubey. Forcing a promise, a shallow thing that was overturned the instant Mami died. Emphasizing it each day, begging them to stop, to not talk to Kyuubey. The new player, Kyoto, showing up to aid Mami, another magical girl who she will never be able save, just like she cannot save Sayaka and Mami.
Homura rewinds time, and prepares to relive the ninety days of Madoka Kaname’s life. Maybe this will be the time she can guarantee a future for Madoka.