Work Text:
When they arrived to where they would be staying, Richard had taken off to his room almost immediately. He was oddly silent on the way, despite all of Jeremy’s gloating, but they were all exhausted after all. James also suspected part of Richard, despite being half frozen and having had next to no sleep for days, was disappointed that he didn’t make it to the Magnetic North Pole. James isn’t sure if he should mention his relief when he heard the final decision. If Richard had been reachable at that point, the adventurous risk taker in him would surely have opted to carry on.
James felt pleasantly drowsy, sitting on the couch in Jeremy’s room freshly showered and fed. Now, he waited for Jeremy to emerge from his turn at the shower. He’d love nothing more than to crawl into the big bed and sleep for the next three days, but he didn’t think he’d feel right with himself if they hadn’t at least checked in with Richard first. Jeremy had thought they were sure to be granted entry if they plied Richard with a burger and chips from the hotel kitchen, even if they would be a bit room temperature. And, if not, James had spoken to Andy about his concern, and had acquired a spare key card.
When Jeremy does finally emerge in a pair of sleep trousers and a well worn t-shirt, its to find a just barely asleep James slumped uncomfortably on the couch. It seemed like months since they had any sense of civilization instead of days. Any sense of warmth, comfort, or fullness had seemed a lifetime away. Spam could only ever get you so far, and Jeremy would swear James had even gotten sick of the stuff. Sitting down next to the equally exhausted man, Jeremy, not one to ever deny himself his wims, ran his hand through slightly dampened hair, and kissed the corner of James’s mouth.
With not even the energy to be startled, James slowly opened his eyes, and pulled himself back into a sitting position. Jeremy’s hand slides smoothly down the other man’s cheek, to his neck, to land lightly on his shoulder. “I could quick look in if you’d rather just get to bed. I’m sure after all this time, that he’s probably done the same as us.”
Shaking his head, James gets himself on his feet, going to grab the tray from the desk. “I don’t like how he was on the way here. I don’t think he’s all alright”
“I know what you mean,” Jeremy admits with a sigh. He tiredly gets to his feet as James picks up the tray. “Lets go cheer up the Hamster!”
They made their way down the silent hallway. Jeremy couldn’t stop guiltily thinking of how they’d taken the piss out of Richard, huddled in their little tent. Richard had been the one who volunteered to be on the sled. It was between him and James to decide, since Jeremy was in no way going to put his back through that. Richard, being fitter, was the obvious choice. They had joked about him jumping at the chance to spend a week with a bunch of dogs before either of them. Often times, they’d remarked on whether or not Richard was starting to regret his decision. They both knew they were each trying distract the other from how dangerous this all was, and how very far apart they were.
It wasn’t a big surprise when no one came to the door. After about 5 minutes of waiting, Jeremy used the key card, and held the door for James. James hesitated before depositing the tray onto the desk. The lights were still on. The bed was empty. Then, they heard a noise coming from the ensuite. Jeremy cleared his throat. “Richard?”
Receiving no answer, Jeremy and James shared a look. The bathroom door was, thankfully, unlocked. Upon finding Richard, Jeremy wasn’t so sure if the other man would have been in any state to get the door open under his own power. It was with a mixture of relief and worry that Jeremy processed the situation. Richard was shivering in his boxers on the tiled floor, skin still wet from the shower he must have had recently. Though he appeared unhurt, he sat huddled on the floor, his back against the wall, and his arms wrapped around his knees.
Getting down onto the floor was not a graceful affair. By the time Jeremy felt as settled as he was going to get, Richard had finally turned towards him. Jeremy wasn’t prepared to see the tracks of tears marring Richard’s face. It had been a few months since the last time Jeremy remembered Richard breaking down. Months back when his mind would still occasionally go blank, and he would get frustrated not knowing how to find whatever was missing.
“Rich?”
Shaking his head, Richard laughed wetly. “I’m not… I’m fine, really. I’m just so tired, and I thought I could sort myself out before going to find you guys, but I-”
Richard tried to laugh it off, he really did, but the noise that bubbled up out of his throat was decidedly more sob like. He was going insane, he knew it. The arms now around him were nice though. And the familiar smell of the man was certainly helping him to calm himself down.
James found himself in the main room again, trying to find things to keep himself occupied. Pull Richard’s soft jumper from his luggage. Turn down the quilt. Turn on bedside light. Turn off the overhead light. It wasn’t that he wasn’t worried, or that he didn’t want to be in there with his two mates having their first proper reunion since they set off on that stupid, deadly adventure. It was just that James didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how he could be useful.
Emotional situations tended to make James feel uncomfortable. Richard was sitting on the floor, broken by the elements, and there was nothing James could think to say or do that would make any of this better. Jeremy was always ready with a clasp on the shoulder, a warm hug, or knew just the right thing to say. James didn’t know how to do these things without feeling awkward about it, and he hated it. Hated this part of himself.
“James?”
Turning around, forcing himself to face a still shivering, blotchy-faced Richard who was standing a few feet away looking not quite his usual self. The dark rings under his eyes made him look almost sickly, but James knew both Jeremy and himself weren’t any better. Reaching behind himself, James grabbed the jumper from the bed. He held it awkwardly in his hands for a moment before walking up to the other man, and drawing the soft fabric over Richard’s head, helping fuzzy cloth slide down chilled skin.
Trembling fingers touched James’s face, sliding down to rest on his chest. Richard met his eyes for a brief second. Then, Richard became someone they didn’t see often, and James watched his cheeks turn pink. Someone unsure and embarrassed, and so very unRichard-like. Richard sighed, laughing, a bit less maniacal than he had sounded sitting on that cold bathroom floor. “Genuinely, part of me worried we wouldn’t see each other again.”
It was an impulse to pull the shorter man to him. James didn’t fight this one to avoid looking daft. He needed this, and he was pretty sure by Richard’s hesitant admission that the other man needed this just as much. His throat tight, James let out a sigh of his own, “Here we all are now.”
They slowly pulled apart to the sound of Jeremy rearranging the bed, and if the shoulder of James’s shirt was a bit damp no one mentioned it. Richard’s smile seemed utterly magnificent after being denied the view for so long. He could right sonnets to the abundance of emotions he was feeling at the moment. If he started off aloud by mistake, he’s sure he could blame it on the exhaustion as well.
Climbing into bed was more of a relief than they had anticipated. James could feel his spine adjust to the softness of the mattress. There was a drawn out groan from the other side of the bed, and varying pornographic noises followed by a gruff voice, muffled by a pillow, “I never want to leave this bed.”
After turning out the light, after his eyes had adjusted to the dark, James watched Richard kiss Jeremy’s pillow squashed head before settling down into his own pillow. One of Jeremy’s hands found its way to rest on Richard’s stomach, thumb smoothing out warm wool. James felt pressure on his shoulder, apparently receiving a kiss of his own. He stroked the back of him finger against the back of Richard’s hand when he found it a few centimeters away from his, and fell asleep feeling relieved and warm.