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Working in a day care used to be such a burden for Jeonghan but after a year of being there, it started to be his happy place. Seeing kids open their hearts to him and grow right before his eyes, it gave him fulfillment.
Jeonghan was only 18 years old when he started working there. It started as a volunteer work just for the sake of credits but when his school load got lesser and he’s started to get fond of the kids, he decided to be a part time teacher there. He was supposed to leave a year after but when he some unexpected things happen—him having a college party and ending up sleeping with someone and boom he’s a father 9 months after—his co-teachers in the day care told him that he could still work there. Now, he’s 22 years old with a 3 year old daughter.
Jeonghan is elated to finally take Jiwoo to the day care and finally enroll her there. His co-teachers are excited as well. They adore Jiwoo so much though she's a little timid when it comes to strangers.
He arrives at the day care earlier than expected. He gets greeted by his co-teachers who were stacking up the toys and books. Hanging Jiwoo’s coat on the rack, he sees an unfamiliar figure by the window that showed the classroom for the little kids like Jiwoo. It isn’t his co-teacher, for sure. Mingyu doesn’t come here early, and neither does Hansol. And most definitely not Seokmin nor Minghao.
"Who's that?" He asks Junhui, another co-teacher of his.
"Oh! That's Joshua. He's a volunteer with a couple of others. They're around here somewhere." He answers with an ecstatic voice.
"How come I didn't know about this?" Jeonghan scrunches up his nose.
"You weren't here yesterday for the meeting." Oh, right. He had classes last night. "But the line group chat, you should have checked it." He sasses at him, but Jeonghan just rolls his eyes jokingly because he knows he’s just humoring him.
By that time, Jiwoo is already tugging at the hem of Jeonghan’s shirt; that means she wants to go in and sit down so Jeonghan grabs her small hands and they both enter the room.
Joshua must have heard because he looks over his shoulder the moment the door opens. He immediately stands up and goes to Jeonghan and his daughter, giving them a bow.
"Hello!" He greets cheerfully. Jeonghan immediately notices how bright his smile is and how the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes are so cute. "I thought the children don't arrive until 7?" Joshua politely asks. His voice is very soft and soothing.
It’s only a quarter to 6, the usual time Jeonghan arrives. "Oh, that's because I work here!" Jeonghan lets out a little chuckle.
"Oh? Really? Is she your little sister?"
"O-oh.. N-no.. She’s my daughter." Jeonghan blushes and he sees Joshua blush, too. Jeonghan blushes because felt embarrassed. He’s only 22 years old but he already has a 3 year old daughter—it’s not a very practical lifestyle for someone his age. On the other hand, Joshua blushes because he is embarrassed with his own words.
"A-ah!" Joshua tries to play it cool by chuckling. "What's her name?"
"Jiwoo.." Jeonghan quietly says. He watches Joshua squat down in front of Jiwoo and grin.
"Hello, Jiwoo! I'm Teacher Joshua, nice to meet you." He enthusiastically says but Jiwoo does nothing in return. She just stares at Joshua who looks a little disappointed.
"Sorry. She's really shy to new people." Jeonghan sheepishly smiles at him. Joshua stands up to face Jeonghan with a smile on his face. Jeonghan notices—again—that this volunteer smiles a lot and he thinks that it’s good for the day care. It would help children a lot to have a good atmosphere inside.
;;
The day starts out soon, then. The children start to arrive and get greeted by the volunteers, Joshua, Seungcheol, and Seungkwan (those three are the only ones he know, but he’s sure there are like four or five others). Seungcheol is a little bit awkward with kids, but gets along well with one little boy who became a Koala because he always clung to him. Seungkwan is good with them, like real good, he can manage to tame almost all of the kids. Joshua.. Joshua is great with kids as well. It is surely his bright and talkative personality that makes a lot of children open their hearts to him, especially his shy and intimidated daughter.
;;
Jiwoo is sitting in a corner, her box of banana milk and a biscuit laid on the little table in front of her. She is sitting alone until Joshua decides to join her. Jeonghan sees him engage in a conversation with his daughter but he seems to be failing.
"What are you eating?" Joshua tries to make Jiwoo talk again and then it happens again. Jiwoo just looks at his father’s way which is by the door. Jeonghan smiles at Jiwoo, trying to encourage her to go talk.
Looking over at Joshua, he sees him looking at him already. Jeonghan gives him an encouraging smile, too, just like what he gave to his daughter.
Joshua looks at Jiwoo and tries to converse once again.
"When I was a kid I used to drink chocolate milk. I see your dad gave you banana milk." Jiwoo finally looks at him. "And cheese. Do you like cheese?"
And just like a miracle, the little girl nods at him. Though she didn’t smile, she still responded; that’s enough for Joshua. His brows jolt up out of delight and Jeonghan silently prays that he keeps going.
"I like cheese as well. Can I unwrap that for you?" Jiwoo nods. Joshua takes the sliced cheese that is laid in front of them and unwraps it for the kid.
And from that, Jeonghan watches as Joshua feeds his daughter with the snacks; and how his daughter slowly gets comfortable with a stranger like Joshua. From the first activity up to lunch, his daughter would cling to Joshua who would gladly entertain her.
It isn’t really unusual for Jeonghan to see his daughter smile and laugh but it is when it comes to strangers. Jiwoo, having to grow up without a mother, always has a cold shoulder.
;;
It’s lunch time, then, when Jeonghan is sitting down with his daughter together with a couple of children. Seungkwan has asked the kids where can he sit and the kids from the far corner chanted they wanted him. Seungcheol is seated at one table with another set of kids while Joshua did the same as Seungkwan—he asked the children where he could sit.
"Teacher Joshua, you can sit here.." Jiwoo whispers but it’s enough for Joshua to hear.
Jeonghan is taken aback, as well as Joshua but he gladly goes to the table where Jiwoo is seated.
Joshua sits down on Jiwoo’s right, and that makes Jiwoo sit in the middle of Joshua and Jeonghan. Despite the many kids that wanted him to sit with them, he chooses Jeonghan’s daughter. Jeonghan instantly feels good.
"I heard you came from Seoul National University?" Jeonghan says. Junhui has told him about the volunteer boys a little while ago. It sparked Jeonghan’s curiosity since he studies there as well, continuing his degree in Education.
Joshua nods. "Seungcheol, Wonwoo and I just graduated. We don’t really have anything to do yet. Soonyoung, Jihoon, and Chan, they were managed to get dragged along. Seungkwan thought of this. He thought it would be fun, which is, by the way!”
"I started out as a volunteer here as well, when I was younger. Then after a year, I started to work." Jeonghan says with enthusiasm because he sees that Joshua is listening with enthusiasm as well.
"How old are you?" Joshua asks.
Shivers run down Jeonghan’s spine and he feels like he wants the ground to eat him up. There it goes. There goes the how old are you portion, the part that he hated the most.
It's not that he regrets having a daughter, no it's not that. It's just that people he have dated from the past years tend to get farther away from him once they find out about him having a daughter at a very young age. It was always like that for Jeonghan: he and some guy would be comfortable with each other and then eventually will find out about the real him and then they would stop contacting him, leaving him in the air.
But somehow, something about Joshua makes Jeonghan wants to trust again. Joshua seems fine, and he seems nice. He likes kids and his sincere personality makes Jeonghan want to trust him
"I-I'm only 22.." Jeonghan says ever so shyly. The light on his face that he has before this topic is long gone but Joshua’s doesn’t disappear. He still looks like a ball of sunshine.
"Ah, you must be married so young." He replies with a grin. Jeonghan frowns when Joshua bends down to wipe a stray grain of rice on Jiwoo’s cheek but he takes the frown away when Joshua faces him again.
Jeonghan shakes his head. "No.. I.. Jiwoo never met her mother."
"Oh.." He must have felt like he intruded Jeonghan’s personal space since his face sank. Along with it, Jeonghan’s heart sank as well. They both were doing so great in the conversation, Joshua seems like a great guy and it had to be ruined.
Just when Jeonghan felt like running away and throwing up, Joshua says something that takes Jeonghan’s mood back.
He says, "Must be tough, huh? But you both must be so strong,then." He says, smiling at Jiwoo while stroking her little head with his palm.
Jeonghan can't help but smile so wide at the remark. He has to cover his mouth with his hand. Jeonghan hears Joshua chuckle and he looks at him. Joshua is looking at him a grin that showed his beautiful teeth and his sparkling eyes to match.
"Sorry." Jeonghan takes his hands off his mouth, pursing his lips to restrain himself from smiling. "Never thought I'd hear that."
"Ever?"
He chuckles. "Ever, I guess."
"Now you heard it from me." Joshua winks and Jeonghan thinks he’s flirting. Is he flirting or is Jeonghan just overthinking and overanalyzing the whole situation?
Whatever it is, Jeonghan shrugs it off as the bell ran for nap time. He stands up and assists his daughter and everyone in their table to go wash their hands and faces, and brush their teeth to prepare for a nap. Seungcheol and Seungkwan prepare the beds while Joshua helps Jeonghan out with the kids.
Along the way, Jeonghan teaches him how he should teach the kids to fall in line to brush their teeth, and in what manner he should help them brush their teeth. Jeonghan also teaches him that after washing their face, he should apply lotion to their faces to keep it moisturized and then he can already send them off to bed.
The kids are already lying down and were fast asleep as well as Seungcheol and Seungkwan. They look very cozy next to the sleeping kids that they almost looked like kids as well.
"Can I sleep as well?" Joshua whispers as Jeonghan looks at everyone who was sound asleep. Joshua says that it’s supposed to be a joke but he could never turn it down especially when Jeonghan has agreed. Joshua happily lies down next to Jiwoo.
"I'll go check the other room." Jeonghan tells him. He doesn’t know why he told Joshua. He doesn’t even know why he thought Joshua needed to know but thank god Joshua acknowledges it by nodding with a smile.
Then, Jeonghan goes to the other room and sees that the children are napping as well as the other 4 volunteers, Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Jihoon, and Chan. When Jeonghan’s sure that everything is all settled he goes back and sits down next to his daughter, stroking her head as if it would make him sleep safe and sounder.
Joshua is lying down there next to Jiwoo, sleeping with light snores. Jeonghan sees how one of Joshua’s hand is on top of his daughter's stomach. It’s like a father sleeping with his own daughter, and it’s exactly how Jeonghan sleeps at night with Jiwoo. He smiles at that, but then it dawns on him that Joshua’s not Jiwoo’s father or anything for that matter, so he just purses his lips tightly.
As he stares at Joshua and his daughter, he wonders why he’s acting like that, why he’s thinking like that. Maybe it’s because Joshua is the first guy to make his daughter laugh, and he didn't judge Jeonghan for being a single father at such a young age. Joshua seems so considerate and so warm based on how he talks not only to Jiwoo but to the other teachers as well.
He doesn’t know why but his heart is beating unusually fast. He doesn’t know why but Joshua is kind of making Jeonghan reel into him, and it scares him. It scares him because he’s no good at being attached to someone this nice. Jeonghan can already tell that he’s getting too attached because he is staring and admiring Joshua as he sleeps. Why does he have to be so nice to Jeonghan and his daughter?
"Why aren't you asleep?"
Jeonghan almost jumps to his feet when he hears Joshua’s raspy voice. The latter is looking up at him while lying down, hand still on his daughter's stomach.
"I can't sleep. I have to keep an eye on the kids." He whispers. Joshua asks Jeonghan how long he has been asleep. "30 minutes."
Joshua’s been asleep for 30 minutes. That means Jeonghan has spaced out for a good 30 minutes. Unbelievable.
"I'm 22, too, by the way." Joshua says. "I forgot to tell you my age."
Jeonghan just smiles at him. It's not that he doesn’t acknowledge it, it's just that he’s surprised that Joshua still remembers the conversation they’ve had lately and he’s at a loss for words.
They’re the same age, he realizes, and it seems so perfect. He just keeps pulling Jeonghan towards him. And Jeonghan’s mind is just about to explode if this goes on.
"Are you going back to sleep?" Jeonghan asks.
Joshua shakes his head in response. "Seeing you in person is better than seeing you when I close my eyes, I guess."
Okay, shit, he’s flirting. Both of them laugh, then realize later on that the kids are still sleeping so they both hush. Jeonghan thinks he’s just joking but a part of you thought he wasn't, at least you hope he wasn't.
"Don't you have like a girlfriend or something?" And there he goes asking Joshua a personal question. Jeonghan asked that for 2 reasons: 1.) He wants to say something just to stop himself from smiling like an idiot; 2.) He wants to know if Joshua has a girlfriend so he’ll know if he’s going to stop himself.
Joshua chuckles but it comes out more like a giggle. It’s so cute that Jeonghan is actually frightened. "I don’t even prefer girls.."
“Does that even answer my question?”
“I’m not seeing anyone.”
"What a surprise." Jeonghan states but hints a little teasing so that it would sound like he’s joking around. Jeonghan’s relieved that he’s not taken nor seeing anyone. Being flirtatious with each other is now valid. Ah, that sounded a little bit wrong, didn’t it?
;;
The lights go on. Jeonghan immediately stands up to wake the kids; his daughter is already awake the moment Joshua moved so he doesn’t have to worry.
Meanwhile, Joshua carries Jiwoo on his arms as he wakes up the kids, and also Seungcheol and Seungkwan who are a little hard to wake up.
Jeonghan hears the three of them say that taking a nap in a daycare is the best thing that happened to them and he couldn’t help but agree. The soundproof walls prevented the noise of the cars from being heard inside, the quiet slumber of the kids gave you a sense of peace.
By the time 2:30 dropped, everyone is at the playground playing with the kids. Jeonghan and your co-teachers watch as the volunteers play with the kids, helping them swing, rocking the seesaw, and sliding down. His co-teachers re swooning at each and every one of the volunteers for they were so good with kids. They were practically drooling over Seungcheol not only because he looks great with kids but also because of his body form.
“I see someone has his eyes for Joshua.” Mingyu nudges Jeonghan’s waist, and Jeonghan can’t help but ridicule the younger although he’s trying to hide a smile. He tries not to look affected but Mingyu knows him too well for this. “You two should date.” He says and Jeonghan almost chokes.
“No.”
“Why not?! He loves your kid, look.”
And Jeonghan realizes Joshua is always by Jiwoo’s side since the start of the period. He’s witnessed how patient Joshua was with Jiwoo, and how he taught Jiwoo to mingle around.
“It’s hard to find someone like that, you know.” Mingyu adds.
“You talk as if Joshua and I already have a thing going on.” Jeonghan rolls his eyes.
“Well, don’t you?” Mingyu frowns. Jeonghan just with a shut up, we don’t before the younger makes a noise of protest. “You sure you two just met?”
Jeonghan nods.
“Well, considering that you two sure are close.”
Jeonghan deeply sighs and turns to go inside because he needs to prepare for the last activity anyway. He takes out the papers for the origami making and decides to cut them while there’s still time and everyone is out. He takes his time on folding the papers and carefully cutting them until the door slams open and flinches, making the cutter go sideways and all the way across his index finger. He yelps in pain and does it again when he sees blood dripping down.
Suddenly, Joshua is right beside him saying sorry over and over again, telling him that he got too carried away running from the kids while playing.
The swarm of kids goes inside and without hesitation, the two go outside because they can’t scare the kids with blood, also because they need to clean the wound.
“I’m so sorry..” Joshua quietly says as he gently cleans Jeonghan wound.
Jeonghan has told him that he could do it on his own, but Joshua protested that he should do it because he was the reason why this happened.
“No, it’s okay. It wasn’t intentional anyway.” Jeonghan tries to smile even though the alcohol stings.
Joshua finishes treating the wound by wrapping a Band-Aid around it. “There.” He says in a whisper.
“Thanks.” Jeonghan at him and he smiles back with one last apology.
;;
The last activity is a little magic show that a co-teacher presented. Joshua is standing at the back with Joshua while Jiwoo sits in front. Jiwoo is finally smiling and laughing even though she’s without Jeonghan and he feels extremely proud. She has never came out of his shell until this day—until Joshua came into the picture helped him.
At around 3 o’clock, the parents come one by one to pick up their children. The volunteers help the teachers send the children off, making them wear their shoes and coats, and taking them to their parents. Each kid had one favorite from one of the boys, and one kid, Moonbin, cried when he was about to go home because he didn’t want to let go of Seungcheol. That happens to the other boys, too.
After all the children are gone (with only jiwoo there, asleep on joshua’s arms), a little briefing was held. It’s a farewell to the boys and a ceremony full of thank you’s because they did great on taking care of the children.
Altogether, the volunteers leave the daycare, except for Joshua who can’t leave just yet because of a sleeping Jiwoo in his arms.
“Where do you live?” Joshua suddenly asks.
“Just a couple of blocks away. Near 7/11.” Jeonghan answers, concentrating on putting on a drowsy Jiwoo’s coat in order not to show his pleased—too pleased—expression.
Joshua’s eyes light up. “Ah! The 7/11 with that 18 year old kid who can’t look at people in the eyes?”
Jeonghan laughs lightly, standing up as he carries Jiwoo in his arms and her bag at the same time. “Yeah, that one.”
“Mind if I join your walk home? I live not far from there.” The volunteer asks with little confidence so Jeonghan nods to help him compose himself.
And so they walk with Jeonghan carrying Jiwoo and Joshua carrying the bag.
Supposedly, walks home with someone you barely know were awkward but Joshua is surprisingly great with conversations. He could build a conversation without talking too much of himself. He is capable of telling stories about himself but also including Jeonghan’s because he also actually asks. Joshua is a curious guy, and he doesn’t waste any opportunities to ask Jeonghan about his major, his family, Jiwoo, and of course his past suitors. Jeonghan loves that Joshua can ask anything without making him feel uncomfortable. It’s like he has this spell on him, and it’s like Joshua breathed out freedom and magic.
The day has to end when Jeonghan reaches his apartment. He could tell that Joshua feels the same, too, because he could clearly see it on the other’s eyes the disappointment.
“So.. This is where Jiwoo and I live..” Jeonghan says with a gloomy tone.
Joshua nods, plastering a small smile on his face. “I’ll catch you some other time, you and Jiwoo.”
Jeonghan’s heart flutters, but at the same time it sinks. Great, another attachment to someone very temporary. But what makes Jeonghan’s heart flutter and sink more is the gesture Joshua does before leaving: he leans in on Jiwoo and kiss the little girl on top of the head and then leaning on Jeonghan and kissing him on the cheek. Without saying a word, Joshua just leaves.
Jeonghan just stands in front of his house, staring at the direction Joshua walks on. Upset, he is. He is upset because the boy left even before he could react, and also without getting his number. It’s a little bit disappointing, but maybe that’s just how it goes. Joshua’s interested in him, but not that interested to want to date him.
;;
He’s never heard of Joshua again and it’s already been a couple of days after that day. It’s not that he’s expecting, it’s just that he thought he was different from other guys. Jeonghan thought Joshua would take him out for at least some coffee after some time, but, yeah, he’s never heard of him. Maybe Joshua finally realized that dating me comes with a little child and it wasn’t practical.
That makes Jeonghan feel miserable and pathetic and Jun disagrees with that attitude. He doesn’t like it when the elder is always spaced out or sad because it affects how they teach and care of the children. Sometimes Jeonghan’s mindless, sometimes clumsy and he hates it.
“Trust me, I hate myself, too.” At one point, Jeonghan has said that with a slightly shaky voice when Jun has finally decided to talk to Jeonghan about it.
Jun feels pity, and it takes a whole week for the elder to convince himself that he shouldn’t get attached so easily, and soon, he got back to his feet again.
Two weeks have passed, and it’s finally Jiwoo’s birthday. He’s turning 4 years old, and his birthday is a school day, so Jeonghan has opted to celebrate it with the kids at the daycare. Mingyu helped Jeonghan buy the food and the cake, while the other co-teachers bought balloons and other decorations for the room. They also helped distribute the food equally for the children.
Jiwoo is happy—the happiest Jeonghan has ever seen her when mingling with children her age. She is laughing and telling the teachers to eat—to which they were happy for because have watched Jiwoo turned from that timid child to someone the opposite.
“Jiwoo!”
Jeonghan is helping the little children eat their food when he hears a familiar voice bang through the room. At first he thought he was just hearing things, but then Jiwoo squeals and Jeonghan sees her run to the door. Jeonghan looks back, following Jiwoo with his eyes, and he finds that it’s really Joshua and he’s holding a cake and a present in his hands.
Jeonghan halts on feeding the children for a while to observe what they were doing. Joshua is squatting as he talks to Jiwoo who already has the present on her hands. She’s giggling while Joshua talks to her. Joshua then pats Jiwoo’s head, and that’s when he stands up to follow Jiwoo who is running towards her father.
Jeonghan freezes at the sight, but then the kid he’s feeding makes a noise and he realizes that he’s been frozen for too long. He turns his attention to the kid, completely ignoring the guest that he didn’t know how he got an invite. He’s not mad or anything, he’s just surprised that he’s there and still remembers his daughter’s birthday. And how the hell did he know that there’s a celebration?
“Daddy, it’s Teacher Joshua!” Jiwoo chirps the moment they get to you. Jeonghan feeds the kid one last bite of the cake and turns to Jiwoo and Minhyuk.
“Hi, nice seeing you here.” He looks up at Joshua who is already smiling back.
“He bought me a present!” The box is large, he sees, but Jeonghan is unsure of what it contains inside. There is also one little box.
Jeonghan tells him a that’s good, and looks at Jun who is eyeing him and Joshua. He could tell that Jeonghan’s asking to excuse himself so he nods, heading over so he could feed the children for him. When he’s already there, Jeonghan takes Jiwoo to his arms, and talks to Joshua near the indoor play area where there were no kids.
“Thanks for buying him these presents although you didn’t have to.” Jeonghan says.
“The boys chipped in for the miniature BB8 th—Oops.” His eyes widens at the sudden spoiler. Jeonghan laughs at the cute expression, but gets alarmed when Jiwoo squeals that she wants to open the gifts. He tells her no a couple of times until she gave up. Jeonghan lets her go to play, taking the gifts to carry it.
“Sorry.” He apoligizes for cutting the conversation and Joshua says it’s alright with a bright smile.
“Anyway, this is from me and the boys chipped in for this.” Joshua points at the big and small box respectively. “I won’t spoil whatever’s on the big box, you find it out for yourselves.” He scrunches his nose to stop himself from laughing.
“Thanks, Joshua.” Jeonghan nods at him, not knowing what gesture he should do—hug him, shake his hand, whatever. “How did you know it’s her birthday? Did Jun tell you?”
He shakes his head. “I saw it in her bag tag when we volunteered here.”
Jeonghan replies with an oh.
“I didn’t know there was a celebration, I just intended to drop by.”
“Oh! Now that you’re here, come eat!” Jeonghan chirps, mindlessly grabbing his hand to tug him to where the food is. Joshua is surprised at the gesture, but he doesn’t complain. He likes it anyway.
“I actually didn’t come here to eat..” Joshua says when they reached the table where the food are laid.
And Jeonghan feels the immediate disappointment rush through him. I’m the most pathetic person ever.
Joshua smiles when he senses that his words didn’t give a good impression on Jeonghan. “I was actually here to ask you out.. If that’s okay. You can say no if you don’t want to.”
He says it in a whisper but it’s enough for Jeonghan to hear.
Jeonghan’s taken aback by what he heard that he almost falls to his feet. Jeonghan’s mind begins to race that it takes him a while to remember that Joshua is actually there in front of him.
“A-Are you serious?” Jeonghan asks and Joshua nods, blinking innocently. Jeonghan scoffs. “I have a kid, Joshua. She’s 4 years old a—“
“Doesn’t matter.” Joshua shrugs. “I like Jiwoo. And you, of course.”
A smile slowly spreads across on both of their lips, and Jeonghan finds himself nodding, agreeing. He’s delighted, because many have asked him out, but have left him after knowing that he has a kid but Joshua, on the other hand, knew he had a kid first before asking him out. It’s weird, but the good kind of weird. It makes Jeonghan’s heart beat like it never did before—it makes him feel accepted in a world full of people who would judge and whisper quietly loud behind his back.