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Joshua shouldn’t be this stressed.
“Cancel?” His voice almost squeaked down the phone. “The wedding is in two days, y —you can’t cancel now!”
He didn’t like to be loud or demanding. But he is really, really stressed.
“Our lead singer’s mom has taken ill, and our drummer has left the country due to undisclosed circumstances. We’re sorry.”
Joshua has to bite his tongue— physically sink his teeth into the muscle to not curse let out a string of curses. “Well, it can’t be helped,” he says slowly, trying his best not to sound bitter or annoyed. “I hope Sungjin’s mom is okay. And I’m sorry about Dowoon, I guess?”
“Yeah, we’re kind of worried about him. Best of luck on the wedding.”
“Thanks, Jae.”
“Later, Josh.”
Joshua drops into the chair in the lobby of the reception hall and covers his face with the thick, full folder of every note, scribble and document that he’d compiled over the last month of wedding planning. “Why me, God?” he groans. “What have I done?”
He couldn’t face Seokmin to tell him his big day would have no entertainment. Joshua had been entrusted— he’d been honored with the title of best man and the task of sorting and organizing all the small details to do with his lifelong friend’s wedding to his partner of ten years. Ten years. That’s a hell of a long time. And now it’s going to be a terrible day because the band has just canceled! How the hell is he going to find a band to play on this short notice, let alone a band that will be able to learn all the specified songs for the reception and plays them well?
The thought of his best friend and his husband swaying to silence for their first dance makes him feel physically sick.
“I’m the worst best friend in the entire world.”
“Meh, I’ve met worse.”
Joshua starts, jumping from his chair and almost spilling the contents of his folder all over the floor. “Jesus,” he whispers, his hand over his heart as he winces up at the figure blocking the sun from the skylight. “Thanks, Johnny,” he says. “You almost caused me a premature heart attack.”
“Oh, how on earth would the wedding go on then?”
Joshua never stuck to the first impressions people had on him, no matter how deep they were set. He always believed in redemption—a second chance perse (God knows he’d like to have a few of them after his awkward phase in college). But Johnny Seo. He was a different story.
For a solid month on end, Joshua’s blood pressure had been through the roof. He’d been exhausted, had headaches, worked through tense muscles and lack of sleep, but did so with the pride that this was his best friend’s wedding and he only owed it to Seokmin to make sure it was the best day of his entire life. But Johnny Seo. Sometimes, Joshua wonders why he bothers because Johnny fucking Seo clearly doesn’t.
Laidback is something Joshua likes in a guy. But not when it’s the sake of an entire matrimony between two people he doesn’t! Joshua thought, that when he met Jaehyun’s appointed best man, he’d be as eager and ready to plan the best wedding ever, just as he was. But no. Johnny was so laid back he’d fallen asleep on the phone when Joshua had tried to organize who would order what from the flower company. He was so go-with-the-flow that when he and Joshua went to finalize the details for the cake, he bought a small one and ate it. He stands there now, his hair dyed a fresh dark red, hands full of boxes of what Joshua hopes— prays — is the set of table cards he ordered.
“What happened to your hair?” Joshua says, not intending it to sound like a snap, but at this level of stress, everything did.
“Funny story, I just woke up like this.”
He sometimes infuriated Joshua just by talking. And his cute eyes and pretty lips aren’t helping either.
“You know that shade of red is going to clash with the pink of your flower broach, right?”
Johnny rolls his eyes and meets Joshua with a smile. “Will you relax? If it comes to it, I’ll airbrush my hair black in the post-wedding photos.”
“At this point, there may as well not even be a wedding.”
“Oh no, which table has an inch missing from its seat ribbon now?”
“Can you at least try to take this seriously?” Joshua exasperates. “God, you’re going to give me wrinkles.”
“I am taking this seriously.” Johnny seats himself in the chair next to Joshua, haphazardly dropping the box clearly labeled FRAGILE. “You’re the one taking this too seriously.”
“No such thing. This is my best friend’s wedding—”
“My best friend’s wedding too.”
“Then why aren’t you even a little bit stressed!”
“Because you haven’t even told me what you’re so stressed about!”
“The fucking band canceled!” Joshua jumps to his feet. “Two fucking days before the ceremony, leaving me with no other performers who can fill that slot at such short fucking notice, or who can learn the specific fucking songs Seokmin and Jaehyun want at their fucking reception!” He lets out a frustrated groan and launches his foot against the plastered wall behind him. “It’s a fucking disaster!”
He’s earning his fair share of scandalized glances from staff wandering around the reception but lets it all out in a long breath before sinking once more into the seat beside Johnny.
“Damn, Josh. Tell me how you really feel.”
“Johnny, what am I going to do?” Joshua exasperates. “Seokmin and Jaehyun can’t not have music at their wedding.”
“We’ll hire a DJ.”
“No.”
“What?”
“We can’t have a DJ,” Joshua replies. “DJ’s are tacky.”
Johnny deadpans at Joshua. “Seriously? You’re tearing your hair out over this dilemma and you want to turn your nose up at the one solution we have left?”
“In case you missed the entirety of the last month of planning, the whole entire wedding is music inspired.” Joshua rubs his eyes. “Hence the quartet at the ceremony get up and the champagne flutes looking like trumpets schtick.”
Joshua lets out one last long, deflated sigh, wanting nothing more than to sink into a sleep to last him until next year.
Beside him, Johnny is quiet, but Joshua can feel his gaze on him.
“What?”
The latter waits for some time longer before sighing. “Alright.” The chair squeaks as he stands. “Come on?”
Joshua’s eyes fall on Johnny’s outstretched hand. “Come on where?”
“Let's go get a drink.”
The former raises his eyebrows before snorting a laugh. “Thank you for that offer, John, but I still have so much to sort out. I have to contact the restaurant who’s catering and shorten the order, I still have to check the reservation for the stag tonight, not to mention, I still have to search for some replacement for the band—”
“Listen, I can sort that out, just come for a drink we with and it will all be sorted.”
Joshua looks up at the taller man hesitantly. “Of all times now you want to stand up and take charge?”
Johnny just smiles at him— a grin that bunches his cheeks under his eyes and lets those cute creases around his mouth show— and Joshua can’t help but smile back at him. Like that smile had healing powers, Joshua was met with a wave of reassurance, his shoulder’s relaxing and his spine strengthening.
“Fine,” he relents. “One drink. Maybe two. I still have so much to do today.”
Whatever it was about the laidback, half-way infuriating Johnny Seo, it was doing Joshua wonders.
*
Joshua shouldn’t have drunk that much.
“No.” Joshua shakes his head as Johnny offers another shot, still tasting the bitterness of the last one. “Thank you.” He gulps down his rum and coke, hopelessly trying to wash the stain of alcohol from his tongue.
“When was the last time you were able to just have a drink like this?” Johnny asks.
Fiddling with the sticky beer matt, Joshua blows his cheeks out and sighs. “I don’t know,” he admits. “Probably college.”
Johnny almost chokes on his gin. “What? Shut up.”
Joshua chuckles at him. “Yeah as soon as I graduated, most of my life just consisted of work.” He makes a tiny tear in the cardboard. “Never really went out and partied after that. And when I did go out with friends, I never drank because I always gave people rides home and stuff.”
“I think that basically makes you a modern day saint.”
Joshua hums. “I like looking out for people, you know. I like being responsible.”
“I’ll second that.” Johnny pours himself another shot. “I’m not sure I’ve never met a person as stiff and as uptight as you.”
“Hey,” Joshua softly protests as Johnny’s face contorts from the drink. “I’m not that uptight, okay?”
“Josh, I’m pretty sure I’ve not seen you relax in the entire month and a half I’ve known you.”
“That’s because—”
“Yeah, yeah. You’re planning your best friend’s wedding and it’s a big responsibility and you want everything to be perfect.” Johnny points a look toward Joshua as he tosses a salted peanut into his mouth. “I know.” He tips his glass up and takes a sip.
“I’m actually a very… fun person when the stress of the entire world is on my shoulders.”
“And that’s why I don’t want a wedding. Everything it entails just sucks the whole life out of getting married.”
“You don’t want to get married?” Joshua asks.
“I said I don’t want a wedding,” Johnny corrects. “I’d love to get married.”
Joshua nods in understanding. “Well, I feel sorry for your future wife.”
There’s a pause and a stillness where the buzz of the late-afternoon crowd goes on, unaffecting around them. “Husband,” Johnny says. “Probably.”
Joshua looks at his profile. “Oh.” He feels his face flush red. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were—”
“Bi.” There he goes with that bright, unearthing smile again. “With a strong preference for the male aspect.” He shrugs. “But you never know. I could find the perfect woman who wants to get married at a registry then just run away after it.”
Joshua snorts. “How romantic.”
“I’m just not about the idea that I should shed hundreds of thousands of dollars on a single day that I’m probably going to be so drunk at the end of that I won’t remember a thing.”
Joshua tips his eyebrows to the sky. “To each their own, I guess."
“And what about you?”
“Hm?”
“Well, you’ve spent all this time planning Seokmin and Jaehyun’s wedding. What about your own?”
“Oh…” Joshua’s cheeks flush red. “Well, I mean…”
Of course, Joshua had been dreaming of his wedding day since the day he knew what marriage was. The silk white drapes and the small pink flowers with the suave satin suites and the older ladies in his family wearing those oddly designed hats that he always saw at the Royal Weddings. (It was only in his late teens did he realize that envisioning a man at the end of the aisle was just his sexuality and not just a glitch in his system.) He’d been saving his entire life— storing away tips and overtime—to be able to rent out that quaint, dream-like country club on the outskirts of the city and wed under the wilting oak tree that looked out over the hill.
His friends in high school told him that longing for his wedding day like that was the gayest thing he could do— he was sure he heard snide in their voices but didn’t really care as he continued to flip through the pamphlet in his home ec class. He didn’t care if dreaming of a big white wedding was a feminine thing; he didn’t care that he was sixteen and ready to settle down for life. He just cared that he’s going to make his fantasy happen, and he cared that one day there’ll be someone wanting to wait for him at the opposite end of the aisle.
The pair of them had totally different ideals. It was a total clash.
But Johnny brought up an incredibly valid point. Years of scraping up savings will never be able to pay for his ideas. Even Seokmin had to ask money from his parents.
“Well then.” At his shy silence, Johnny smiles, bringing his glass to tap against Joshua’s. “To each their own, I guess.”
*
Joshua should not have drunk that much.
“Fuck!” He falls from his bed with a thump. “Oh no, I’m late, I was meant to meet Jaehyun at eleven to go over the final menu plans—”
“Josh.” Johnny’s all wrapped up in sunlight and bed sheets, glowing so bright it made Joshua’s hungover head pound.
“No, Johnny, I have not been late for one single appointment this entire month, I—”
“Josh.” Johnny runs a hand through his tousled, bed-ridden hair, pulling Joshua’s duvet further up his shoulders.
“I’m just the worst best man ever if I can’t even show up on time —”
“Joshua!” Johnny flashes Joshua his phone. “Relax. The clock’s an hour ahead. It’s only ten-fifteen.”
In a haste to get his jeans over his hips, Joshua halts and stares at the man lying in his bed. “Oh,” he says, fiddling with his fingers and looking around. Suddenly, his eyes snap to Johnny again, Johnny who is in his bed. Presumably naked in his bed. “Oh.”
Johnny gives him that infuriatingly pretty smile. “Oh?”
Joshua swallows, suddenly conscious of his tan, bare chest on show. “Oh.” He scratches the back of his head. “Uh, did we—” He motions between the two of them.
Johnny quirks his brow. “I mean, we were both pretty drunk.”
Joshua hums, feeling suddenly exposed and vulnerable. “Clearly.” He takes a seat cross-legged at the end of his bed as Johnny shifts to against the headboard.
“What, you saying you wouldn’t sleep with me sober, Hong?”
The former swallows thickly, cheeks burning red. “Well, maybe—” He stammers as Johnny gives him a knowing look. “But that’s not the point, Seo.”
“Tell me what it is then.”
There is no point. Under normal circumstances, Joshua would probably have Johnny again and again, with a side of being his boyfriend if he could fit it in. And it has nothing to do with Johnny’s incredibly tall, toned body or his smooth, sociable personality. It doesn’t even have a thing to do with the fact that Johnny, outside of his annoying streak of being extremely nonchalant, is Joshua’s absolute dream guy! (Lies. It has everything to do with that.) It’s just that, at this moment, Joshua’s best friend’s wedding is tomorrow. And the more capable best man still doesn’t have a fucking band.
Joshua stands from his position and starts shifting around for a clean shirt. “Well, instead of sitting there looking—” Don’t say pretty, don’t say handsome. “—inappropriate—” Good enough. “You could help me by searching online for a band that is available to play tomorrow night, four until—”
“Done.”
Joshua pauses and lifts his brows. “Excuse me?”
“I have a friend,” Johnny begins. “His name is Taeil and he does weddings specifically. I gave him a list of songs I think Jaehyun and Seokmin would like.” He hands Joshua a scribbled list on a torn out sheet of paper. “He says he’ll see what he can do, but the songs that are highlighted are the ones he can already play.”
Joshua stares down at the paper and tries to hide his surprise with a gulp. “Why… Why didn’t you tell me this yesterday?” He exasperates.
“You’re welcome,” Johnny snorts. “And because you’re kind of cute when you’re fussing.”
Joshua furrows his brow at him. “You —”
“Relax!” Johnny laughs over him. “I told you we’d figure this out.”
Joshua hated this feeling. This feeling of being proven wrong. “Don’t tell me to relax.” God, he wishes he could just wipe the smile right off of Johnny fucking Seo’s face. “Besides, half of these songs they won’t like.”
Johnny sighs. “Not this again. Josh, I’ve known Jaehyun since college, I know what songs he likes.”
“Well, I’ve known Seokmin since preschool. I know what he likes, and Mumford & Sons isn’t it.” Joshua hands Johnny the list back. “No country.”
“Oh, come on. Country isn’t that bad, city boy.”
Joshua scoffs. “Excuse me— well, you are from the farms of the Midwest, so…”
“I’m from Chicago.”
“You’re from suburban Illinois,” Joshua laughs. “I bet you’ve never been on the Red Line.”
“How do you even know where I grew up?”
Joshua’s cheeks suddenly fill with heat as he looks at Johnny. “What?”
“I never told you where I grew up.” Johnny smiles at him in a way that makes Joshua want to curl up under those covers right next to him and just—
“Just… guessed. Since you went to UChicago and all that…” He diverts his eyes and fiddles with the threads on his bed sheets.
“I also never told you I went to university in Chicago either.”
Shit. Joshua swallows.
“You did a background check on me, didn’t you?” Johnny falls back into Joshua’s pillows and laughs so hard he smacks his head on the bed frame.
“I didn’t!” Joshua protests. “I just went back a few years into your Facebook history…”
“To when, 2008?”
Joshua tuts and slaps Johnny’s bare shoulder. “I just wanted to know some things about you!” He winces at how not helping the situation that sounded. God, strike me down now, please.
“And asking me on a date wasn’t your first choice?”
Joshua’s cheeks were so warm, they could scald at touch. “Of course not.” What are you saying, you spoon? “I’m probably never going to see you after this wedding so…” Oh, you fucking moron.
Despite, Johnny laughs. “You’re so bad at this flirting game, you know that?”
Joshua opens his mouth but promptly closes it again, shrinking in on himself under the warmth of Johnny’s gaze. He hears Johnny chuckle again, feels the mattress shift under him, and looks away as Johnny stands, the duvet swiftly falling from his body. Before he can speak past the thickness in his throat, Johnny rests his fists either side of Joshua’s thighs, leaning down to bring his face right to the latter’s. Joshua swears his heart stops in his chest, being able to see every perfect blemish printed into Johnny’s tanned skin; his eyes brown and bright as he runs his gaze over Joshua. The latter can barely take in a breath, his hands fisting into his shirt as he waits in anticipation, thoughts racing through his head of all the things that could possibly come next. A kiss? A confession? Joshua sure had dreams of a proclaim of love to be in a bit of a more romantic setting, but he’ll settle—
“Can I use your shower?”
All of the will washes out of Joshua like the tide. “Sure,” he replies, voice so quiet it almost makes no noise.
With his lips curling into a smile, Johnny pulls back, cracking his knuckles as he stretches and turns his back to the ensuite of Joshua’s bedroom.
Joshua finally lets out a long breath, half from frustration, half from the actual need of breathing. He falls back onto his bed with a hmph, face buried in the sheets as he takes another deep breath in. What was he expecting? Why was he expecting anything anyway? If he wasn’t such a hopeless, despairing, love-sick puppy, he wouldn’t—
Oh, no.
Joshua lifts his face up and realizes the scent of his bed wasn’t a result of the new softner used in his laundry. His bed sheets smell like Johnny…
He groans again, once more suffocating himself in the linen. Here’s hoping he doesn’t get addicted.
*
Joshua doesn’t even know why he was that stressed.
He looks around the reception: the drapes of white and sparkles of fairy lights; rose petals strewn across the floor; the smiling faces of his best friend and his husband as they sway together on a dance floor full of people. Taeil’s playing a ballad, something soft and sweet that Joshua can’t place the name of, but good enough to make him want to slow dance with someone. If there was anyone to slow dance with it.
“See,” a voice says from beside him. Joshua flinches slightly and lets out a chuckle with his hand over his heart. “You had absolutely no reason to be stressed. Everything’s perfect.”
“How long have you been standing there?” he asks.
Johnny shrugs, hands fisted deep into his pockets. Fuck, why does he look so good in a suit? “Long enough to notice you’re very proud with the work you’ve done here.”
Joshua smiles and hums. “Well, not to blow my own horn, but…”
Johnny matches his grin, but rolls his eyes. “And here I was about to ask you to dance, you know, being nice and all—” He’s caught off guard as Joshua reaches out, grasping the former’s hand in his and pulling him towards the crowded laminate floor.
“You know what, Josh?” Johnny begins. His hands are planted firmly against Joshua’s hips, the younger’s arms coming up to rest on his shoulders, a good few inches below being uncomfortable. “You’re actually not awful to be around when you’re not the being the biggest stress head on the planet.”
Joshua snorts. “Calm down, you’ve only known me for a month. I’m actually a very nice person when you’re not being a pain in my ass.”
Johnny almost bumps into a nearby couple as he laughs. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” Joshua holds his chin proud. “I can prove it to you sometime, over coffee if you’d like?”
Johnny makes a face like he’d bit into a lemon. “Shit. That was smooth, Hong. Are you just bad at flirting when you’re stressed?”
“Oh, no. You’d be surprised at what else I’m bad at too.”
Johnny brings his head closer to Joshua’s as he chuckles. “You prove that to me sometimes as well.”
Joshua feels that pause in his chest the closer Johnny gets to his lips. He swallows and rolls his together, replying, “I’ll take you up on that anyday.”
With another soft smile, Johnny’s eyes find his before they slide closed, leaning impossibly closer and pressing a gentle, warm kiss to Joshua’s lips.
Joshua never realized how much he yearned for that kiss until he felt Johnny pull away, cold air filling the space between him. He inhales, his breath well and truly stolen by the tall boy with red hair that didn’t at all match his flower. “Do that again,” he whispers softly, lips curling into a smile as Johnny takes another kiss, again, and again, and again.
He guesses he can live with that kind of clash.