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If I was the MC in this anime

Summary:

How I would react and what would my thoughts be if I was in Sakura's shoes.

Spoilers for the first episode( like of course).

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When I saw the policeman I felt great relief. Finally a non-zombie person, he could maybe direct me to other places where normal people live. As I came closer, his eyes widened, and he fell wiping out his gun and pointing it at me. I stopped in my tracks and cursed: Oh, no fuck, does this mean what I think it means?

Turning around I saw my reflection in the mirror and felt a great surge of emotions. They were so strong I started to shout aloud, which made the policeman tremble in fear. I put my hands on my head and started to shake it, shouting in desperation:" Oh, hell no! Fuck no! Why, why do these things always happen to me? Why of all things did I have to turn into a zombie!?"

"I actually wanted to be able to die at one point in my life, and finally rest from all the shit that happened in my life! So why, why? And for fuck's sake why did I have to suddenly be conscious of it all?" I suddenly turned around and went toward the policeman:" Could you tell me some information, what has happened....." but before I could continue, the policeman screamed and fired a couple of shoots in my body, which made me fall on the floor.

Before I lost consciousness I thought to myself:" Fuck you, fuck all of you....."

 

Some time later

I woke up and some man dragged me to the room, where there were a couple of zombie girls walking around. He is our manager I suppose, if his idea to make us idols to save Saga is not pure bullshit. "So does anyone have any questions?" he asked, sweeping the room with his eyes (if he even had eyes behind those glasses). I raised my hand, and he pointed at me, shouting without any purpose:" Yes?"

"So, I was wondering how did the zombie apocalypse happen exactly?" he suddenly started laughing like I asked about something really funny:" That is irrelevant! The most important thing is that you save Saga!" he exclaimed and continued totally ignoring my question. But I didn't want to let it go that easily so I continued my questioning:" Does us becoming idols mean anything at all? Did the world not fall into complete chaos because of zombies? Does electricity, water and traffic still work normally? Are zombies and humans living separately in different regions of this town? Are we coexisting with humans? Because if we can have concerts anywhere that means places like cafe's and clubs still work right?"

Still he continued like he was completely deaf to my questions, dramatically introducing all the other zombie girls. "Wait you just said you resurrected us? How the hell did you do that? Are you some sort of magician? Necromancer? Should I be worried for my safety? Wait scratch that, I am already dead, I suppose it doesn't matter. And why the fuck do I not remember anything from my previous life? What does it all mean? Does it have any meaning at all?"

However he didn't even blink at my questions, and he continued on without pausing, and when he announced we will have a concert, I just sighed, giving up at making any sense out of this whole situation. Of course. Why the fuck not would we have a concert with zombies as main singers? That totally makes a lot of sense, in a way that it totally doesn't make any sense at all. Because for some shitty reason all the things in this world, are apparently designed to make no sense. Or perhaps that is just me.

 

The concert

 

"How the hell do you think we can perform, when we haven't practiced at all, not to mention we don't know any song at all!" I shouted at him, shaking him violently, trying to snap him out of this crazy idea. "That is exactly it! Nobody expects anything from you! That is why I know you will blow them away!"

Looking at him like he was an idiot (which he was, let's be honest), I just shrugged and sighed yet again. "All right, do we have any plan at all, to stop this from becoming a complete disaster?" I asked hopeful for a minute. 

His answer shattered every hope I could have had:" Nope. Just get on the stage and give it your best!"

 I really don't know what to think anymore. We are screwed, we are so screwed. God, I so wish I was dead right now. Oh , wait I am. Well I wish I was dead-er than I am now. 

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So the only thing I have to do to make this concert work, is head bang so hard my neck breaks (oh wait  it is already broken) and just scream in the microphone? Got it. That shouldn't be so hard.

I was hopeful this is going to turn into a good experience, but alas it was not meant to be. Right after the music stopped, the other girls jumped into the crowd and started to bite the audience without any preference. I put my hand on my face and sighed yet again.

And it was going so well. Oh, well, what can you do. I should try to help those poor souls down there. Because I am sure that retarded manager of ours is not going to help anyone for sure.

 

In the house, the next day (probably)

I was sitting in front of the house on the chair and was looking at the sky with sadness. I still don't understand anything that is happening right now. While I sang on the concert the only thing I remembered is that I used to sing while I was taking a shower, which doesn't really tell me that much about me or my previous life. And that fucking manager wouldn't tell me jack shit. And even if he did know something I sure as hell wouldn't believe him.

So in the end the only thing I can do is go along with his antics and try to find out what had happened on my own. Well at least now I have some semblance of a plan, which is more than I had before.

Suddenly I heard noises from the house, so I stood up and barged inside, seeing the others had awoken (Finally! Maybe some of them could even help me! I hope at least one of them is smarter than that man).

When all of them turned to me, I smiled and shouted as loud as I could:" Good morning bitches! I hope you had a nice nap, because from now on we will just be rocking our asses off! So be prepared! Welcome to Death Musume everyone!"

The shocked and frightened looks on their faces, made me laugh, still wearing a shit eating grin, I just knew that even thought all of this is just nonsensical as anything could be, it will be the most fun I ever had. And if nothing else, I was looking forward to that most of all.

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